Lessons from the Dungeon (Part 4 of 4)

What's the best way to deal with the disappointment we experience? From continual letdowns or unfulfilled dreams? Today on Truth for Life, Alistair Begg answers these questions by explaining how Joseph handled a long series of crushing blows. Our study is titled Lessons from the Dungeon, and we're in Genesis chapter 40.

Now, the fourth lesson that we learn from the dungeon is the other side of the coin. It lifts our spirits a little because we move away from preparing for death to celebrating life—indeed, celebrating a birthday. Have you had a birthday lately? Have you had a birthday in the last year?

If you haven't, then the previous point is probably more significant than you realize. Goodness, it's over a year now, and I haven't had a birthday. Christians, of all people, ought to be able to have parties. Really, good parties. Not mediocre, boring parties. Fantastic parties! I mean, Christians should not be party animals, but they should be party somethings. And especially, birthday parties. Let me explain to you.

I've been thinking about this. Verse 20 of Genesis 40—now, the third day was Pharaoh's birthday. And he gave a feast or a party for all his officials. He was celebrating life. His birthday was quite an event. It was particularly for two individuals—one who had his head lifted up to stay up, and the other one who had his head lifted off. Pharaoh gives the party for his officials.

The officials don't give the party for Pharaoh. I just want to make the point in passing that birthdays provide us with a unique and an annual opportunity for thanksgiving. Now, every day of our lives provides the same, but in a special way, one day out of the year, we have the opportunity to pause for a moment and marvel at God's goodness and provision for us, to celebrate the gift of life itself, whatever it may bring and with whomsoever I spend it.

I thank you. I thank you for my birthday. I thank you in the words of the psalmist that goodness and mercy has been following me all the days of my life. And I praise you on this anniversary day. An opportunity, at the same time, to praise and magnify our parents!

That in the providence of God, he put things together in such a way in my own life that some wee guy called John, at a church picnic, finds a girl called Louise, is struck by her animated commitment in the sport events, is struck by the hilarity of her laughter, and says, you know, I fancy her, and gets close and closer and closer and so close, they start producing offspring. And so I get to have birthdays. I want them to know how thankful I am. Because the Solomon, in all of his wisdom, he makes this clear. Our parents are always worthy of our honor, says Moses in the Decalogue. But the word in Proverbs is also so wonderfully clear in relationship to this.

Proverbs 23 and verse 24. The father of a righteous man has great joy. He who has a wise son delights in him. May your mother and your father be glad. May she who gave you birth rejoice. Every day, but particularly on your birthday. To give cause to your parents to thank God for the provision that he has made in the gift of their children. So then, on my birthday, to celebrate God's provision, to celebrate the joy of family life and the gift of my parents, and thirdly, to celebrate my friends—those whom God has given me in my life. Proverbs 17 17. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. You've got one friend in your life. You're rich. You've heard me say that fifty times.

I say it every time because I believe it. One friend. I'm not talking casual acquaintances. I'm not talking somebody who knows you or took a trip with you. I'm talking about one person with whom you can bear your soul and know that they won't turn it into a prayer chain request.

To whom you can confess your sins and know that they won't take a megaphone and use it as an opportunity for public display. Before whom you can acknowledge your fears and your failures and your disquiet and your discouragements and know that they will get where you are. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

And on your birthday, be thankful if you've got a friend. 18 24 of Proverbs. A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 27 and verse 6.

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. So then, on our birthday, we ought to celebrate the fact of our existence—our preservation, our family, our privileges, our joys in earthly pilgrimage. Our birthdays are not to be a morbid preoccupation with bones. Let us be done with giving Hallmark any money for those silly cards that talk about, Oh, well, now you're forty, you're on the way out. Oh, well, now you're fifty, poor old guy. Oh, well, now you're sixty, one foot on a banana skin, the other in the grave. Let the pagans send those cards.

Let them buy those cards. Let us acknowledge on our birthdays the difference that Jesus makes to that day and to every day. Who was it saying this song to some girl? It's my… It's my birthday, and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah. And that's pretty well it. On the one hand, oh, it's my birthday, you know. Look at this, look at this, look at this, look… Or on the other hand, it's my birthday! Hey, look at all my stuff! Do you see the stuff?

John Calvin, he hits it right on the head, as he is wont to do. Such is the depravity of the world that it greatly distorts those things which formerly were honestly instituted by our fathers into contrary corruptions. Now, there's a sentence for you.

What he is saying is this. Things that started off good, we foul them up. Thus, by a vicious practice, it has become common for nearly all to abandon themselves to luxury and wantonness on their birthday. To abandon themselves to luxury and wantonness on their birthday. What do you want for your birthday, Dad? I want a kiss, I want a hug, you know, I want six Snickers bars—I don't know.

Nothing much, right? Because when you pare it down to the essentials… In short, they keep up the memory of God as the author of their life in such a manner as if it were their set purpose to forget him. So we celebrate our birthdays as if we made ourselves when we know we didn't. To celebrate our birthdays in isolation from those who are nearest and dearest and closest and most to us, as if somehow or another they are now irrelevant with the passing of time. And we may even celebrate our birthdays in the absence of those who have been prepared to wound us for our good and were so silly as to go and get a crowd of people who would kill us with their kisses. That's a wee lesson, then, from the dungeon about how to have a happy birthday. Anybody's birthday today? Just asking. The second last lesson from the dungeon is a lesson on dealing with disappointment, dealing with unfulfilled hopes.

Do you have things in your life that have been unfulfilled, desires and dreams you've had and hoped for? Certainly Joseph did. He knew that God was in control, but he flat-out, frankly, wanted to get out of the dungeon. That's why in verse 14, when he had given the news to the cupbearer of the fact that he was going to be out of there in three days, he said, By the way, when you go, it'd be just a nice deal if you would mention to Pharaoh that I'm still stuck in here and see if you couldn't put in a good word for me, because I really was forcibly carried off, I haven't done anything to deserve being in here, and I'd like to get out of the dungeon.

Now look at verse 23 of the chapter, the last verse of the chapter. The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph. He forgot him. Forgot him. I imagine that he left the dungeon, shook hands with everybody, said, Thanks, it's been nice knowing you.

I'm out of here. And had a wee greeting for each one of them. He grabbed Joseph by the hand. He said, Joseph, you can expect to hear from me. I listened to what you said. I heard you.

I'm your man, Joe. Somebody said that to you about a business deal in the last six months? You still waiting for the phone to ring? You're dating a guy in your college years, and he told you, I'm your guy, you can expect to hear from me? You never heard from him again? How do we deal with the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams?

How do we deal with the disappointment that is caused by people who just flat-out let us down? Because that's exactly what the chap did. And Joseph, if we would imagine the scene to any degree with accuracy, we can only assume that there was a great expectation in his heart, and that in the early days, after the cupbearer had been released, everybody that came rattling at the door of the dungeon would presumably lift the spirits within Joseph, and he'd be saying to himself, Whoever it is that's coming round the bend, they'll be from the cupbearer, because I'm going to be out of here. If we advanced it into contemporary terms, he'd be saying, If the phone rings, don't touch it, it'll be for me.

That'll be for me. And the first one wasn't, and the second one wasn't, and the third one wasn't, and a week passed, and two weeks passed, and a month passed, and two months passed, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and everybody in the dungeon, including Joseph, knew there's not going to be a call from the cupbearer. Well, it's one thing to be on the receiving end of such disappointment. It's another thing to be the initiator of such disappointment.

We can all identify with this. People fail us and let us down. That is an axiom of life. Things that we think are going to go differently don't happen as we anticipate. Even the best of people prove to be a disappointment to us.

And why would we be surprised? Because we in turn prove to be a disappointment to others. Alas, the project's incomplete. Alas, the unfulfilled promises. But what does it teach us?

It teaches us an essential truth of life. Expressed graphically in the words of Jeremiah when he says, Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength. If you're relying on a man or on a woman, you're relying on the wrong thing. You say, Oh, yeah, but I'm relying on my wife. It's okay to rely on my wife. Well, yes, it is within a certain framework. But ultimately, you're relying on God.

Why? Because your wife can't breathe unless God gives her the breath to breathe. So our reliance is on God. People are secondary causes of his provision for us, but God is the ultimate occasion of our praise, and he's the ultimate source of our confidence. And any misdirection of our gaze will lead to great disappointment and great pain. And that is the only way in which, loved ones, you will be able to deal with undue criticism and that which comes your way.

The hymn writer says with great realism, Some will love thee, some will hate thee, some will praise thee, some will slight. Cease from man and look above thee, trust in God, and do the right. And that was another time that Joseph had to learn the lesson. How many times was he going to learn it? He relies on his dad, and his dad sends him on a journey, and he doesn't see him for another twenty years. He relies on the fact that his brothers might have changed their minds, and maybe they were speaking to him. They strip him bare and throw him in a hole in the ground and sell him into a relationship in Egypt. He relies on the potential of Potiphar, who now has taken him under his control and given him freedom in all the house, and suddenly he's on the receiving end of unjust accusation, and he's thrown once again into a foul dungeon. And in the foul dungeon, he says to the cupbearer, Now, when you get out of here, look after me.

I'd like to get out of here too. And he is forced to believe that he'll do it, and he doesn't do it, and what does he have to learn all over again? The same thing that you and I have to learn all over again. The final lesson from the dungeon, which is this—learning to rest in God's faithfulness. Learning to rest in God's faithfulness. He is the only unfailing one. He is the only one who is true to his Word on every occasion. Some trust in chariots, some in horses.

But, says the psalmist, we trust in the name of the living God. It appeared to Joseph that he had been forgotten. He had been forgotten by the cupbearer, but he had not been forgotten by his Lord and Master. Have you been forgotten by someone in your life? Have you been forgotten by someone in the immediacy of these last few days? You feel as though you've taken a spike to your shins in the run of life? You feel as though you've taken one too many elbows to your ribcage?

When is it where you disrobe for the evening, your body is battered by friendly fire from those around you? What do you do? Look away from man. Look up. When you feel as though your prayers are like the guy's mailbox across the street who went on a trip and never told any of the neighbors, and it's just lying there day after day, going nowhere, meaning nothing—when you feel your prayers are just like that, that there is no answer, that you are forgotten, when you feel that you're straining at the oars and the lake of life and the wind is against you and the waves are rising and the boat is tossing—what do you do? Well, I only know one thing to do. I go back to my Bible.

It's the only thing I've got. And I go and I look up verses. And I look up this. The Lord is the everlasting God.

That's good. The creator of the ends of the earth. He's powerful. He will not grow tired or weary. His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary. Okay? And he increases the power of the weak.

This is good. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.

Can, says the prophet, a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? I flew from Texas in the evening, in a row with four others—a mother and a father and two children—one of those ideal setups in row 23 on an MD-80. The only encouragement is the sound of the engine keeping going and the bathroom door banging and closing. But actually, apart from public perception, I love to be in the row with those wee ones. But in the row, there I was, starting to feel like an old man, realizing that I used to take trips, and my girls were that size as well, and there was one about this size and one about that size. And the weeest one was closest to me and closest to her mom, and her mom said, We're going to fly, and would you like to look out the window, and would you like to sit in your seat?

No. Well, you're gonna sit in your seat, and so it went. You know the whole thing. And then eventually, in the course of it all, she gathers this wee thing up, and she brings her in against her breast and nestled in underneath her chin. And the wee girl falls sound asleep, with her face all mashed up like that. When she finally woke up, they had to kind of bring her face back in to sort of rework it.

And I thought, What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful picture! She was going at five hundred and forty miles an hour, in a steel tube, at thirty-five thousand feet above the ground, and she didn't have a care in the world. All she knew was that her mom was there, and she was with her mom, and her mom wasn't gonna forget her.

Wouldn't it be great to be loved by someone like that? To be loved in the way a mother loves her newborn child? The lesson.

Number six. To rest in God's unfailing goodness. Resting in God's unfailing goodness. That's the amazing story of the gospel, from today's message titled Lessons from the Dungeon. You're listening to Truth for Life with Alistair Begg. The amazing gospel message that I just referred to is the good news we share on Truth for Life. This program, along with our free online library, reaches a vast global audience every day, and that's because of your faithful giving. As you know, Truth for Life is funded by your support. So, on behalf of the many listeners from all around the world who benefit, thank you for your support.

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I'm Bob Lapine. Thanks for joining us for the conclusion of our message titled Lessons from the Dungeon. Listen again tomorrow as we turn to Mark's Gospel to find out what it means to follow Jesus even when the storms of life are raging around us. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life, where the Learning is for Living.