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Super Bowl or Bust (Hour 2)

Zach Gelb Show / Zach Gelb
The Truth Network Radio
August 8, 2023 8:14 pm

Super Bowl or Bust (Hour 2)

Zach Gelb Show / Zach Gelb

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August 8, 2023 8:14 pm

How many teams have "Super Bowl or bust" expectations this season? l 1st & Goal: John Kuhn, former Green Bay Packers fullback l Do the Lions have to win a playoff game in order to have a successful season?

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Alrighty, we continue our number two of our radio program.

It is the Zach Gelb show. But where else? Right here on CBS Sports Radio. Coming up 20 minutes from now, we'll connect with our pal in John Coon. We'll do a little first and goal featuring the da-na, da-na-na-na-na.

Go pack, go! And then Brian Jones will join us to talk a little college football at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. We're a little less than a month out with yesterday being a full month from the start of the NFL season with that big game to open up the year. Kansas City defending Super Bowl champions welcoming in the Detroit Lions. And I was thinking about this yesterday where we were talking about the Lions and then we were talking about the Chiefs as well. And for the Lions, right, you know they got to make the playoffs this year. For the Chiefs, the expectation is for the foreseeable future, it's you win the Super Bowl or the season feels as if it's a failure. Now, you're not going to win the Super Bowl every year.

I'm cognizant of that fact and you've already won two. But you have a window right now with Patrick Mahomes where let's see how many you could rattle off before there's going to come a time where there's going to be a major overhaul with the rest of the roster. Like there will be a time where Mahomes is playing in the NFL and he won't have Travis Kelce. And on the defensive side of the ball, I know there's a current contract issue, but who knows how much longer Chris Jones will be there. And we've already seen him lose Tyreek Hill and he was able to win a Super Bowl that year following losing Tyreek Hill.

So there's going to be names that change, it's the nature of the sport, but there's going to be big names that change. And you want to see with this group with still having Andy Reid as your head coach, because that could be another change that will eventually come. And then you have Travis Kelce with 15. How many can 15 win now? So it got me thinking going into the year, how many teams are truly Super Bowl or bust, where if I tell you this team does not win the Super Bowl, that this season is considered a disappointment.

And Hickey, I've realized this through the three years that we've worked together, usually throw a few more teams in the hopper, right in the pot. And I usually limit it to five or six teams. And I try to go three in the AFC, three in the NFC. But I can't give you a third team in the NFC where I look at it that if they don't win the Super Bowl this year, that the season's a failure. We all know the Eagles, it's Super Bowl or bust, the 49ers, it's Super Bowl or bust. Dallas, I can't say it's Super Bowl or bust.

For me, it's go get to an NFC title game. The NFC North doesn't have a team, Lions or Vikings, that I truly view it as Super Bowl or bust. The NFC South, forget about it.

The win in that division may be eight and nine, like it was last year. And then in the NFC West, I'm optimistic on the Seattle Seahawks, but I don't anticipate the Seahawks to be going to a Super Bowl this year. And sometimes you don't see the team that's going to get to the Super Bowl. Look at last year, perfect example. Who would have ever thought that the Philadelphia Eagles would have been in the Super Bowl and they lost the year before that? Who would have ever thought the Cincinnati Bengals would have been a team that got to the Super Bowl?

So throughout a course of a season, a team may get off to this great start and then expectations change. But heading into the season, Hickster, if we just look at the NFC, the only two teams that I can give you that are legitimately Super Bowl or bust in the NFC, it's Philadelphia, who I don't want to say they should have won the Super Bowl last year because they lost the game. But when you have a 10 point lead in the Super Bowl, doesn't guarantee that you're going to win it. We've seen Seattle choke up a 10 point lead at the hands of Tom Brady. We've seen Atlanta blow a 28 to 3 lead at the hands of Tom Brady.

But when you're up by 10 in a Super Bowl and you had a team that was so special in Philadelphia, you are expected to win that game. And now you have a team back in Philly that, yes, they lost some defensive pieces, Hargrave and Gardner-Johnson, but you're still loaded with defensive talent. And then on the offensive side of the ball, Jalen Hurts was just on this NFL top 100 list. He was ranked by the players, the third best player in the league. Now, I like Jalen Hurts. I love Jalen Hurts.

What is there to dislike about Jalen Hurts? But Jalen Hurts, I don't call him the third best player in football. I don't call him the second best quarterback in football.

Now, he's not that far off. I think right now, heading into the season, there's an argument to be made that Jalen Hurts could be the third best quarterback in football. And I think a lot of people would put him in there at four. And I said this before, right now entering the season, Mahomes won, borrowed two in terms of just quarterbacks. And then I still give the edge to Josh Allen. And then I would put Hurts in at four and then Aaron Rodgers at five when ranking those quarterbacks. But when I examine the NFC and you see how deep the Eagles are with their defense, the best offensive line in football, Dallas Goddard as a great tight end and someone I think is underrated.

You have AJ Brown and Devante Smith and then a quarterback that played MVP ball last year. That's a team that's got to go get the job done now. And for the 49ers, they've been knocking on that door for the last few years with all the changes at quarterback. And it seems as if they always wake up in the NFC championship game in one of the final four teams remaining. So, Hickey, is there any other team?

I think this one's pretty much a slam dunk. You don't have another team in the NFC that you go, oh, it's Super Bowl or bust. And that's why this year I don't have a third team in the NFC.

My number's only five as I try to keep it to six or less. My number's only five here in terms of how many teams that I think it's truly Super Bowl or bust. I'll get to the AFC in a second, but just answer that from the NFC side of it. No, I mean, you talked about before the Cowboys. That's the only team I think even in the conversation to be in this just because number one of their owner, right? Jerry Jones not being shy about trying to win another one. But does anyone believe the Cowboys are going to go to a Super Bowl this year?

No. The NFC, it's two teams that are great. And if you tell me that, let's say, unfortunately Eagles get hit by the injury bug and then the 49ers can't figure out their quarterback situation. Can the Cowboys be that third best team in the NFC?

Yes. But until I see Dak get the job done consistently in the postseason, I'm not ready to throw a parade for Dak Prescott, who's a good quarterback, not a great quarterback, because he beat Tampa Bay last year. The fact is, they should have won that game against the 49ers. Their defense did everything they could.

And once the quarterback lost Tony Pollard, the quarterback early on in that game was lost. So that's why, if we probably put out a poll question, I wonder how people would answer this, Hickey. If I tell you the Eagles and the 49ers aren't in the Super Bowl as the NFC champion, do you think most people would go Dallas after that?

I would say so. I think most people would agree that right now they're the third best team. Who else would be in consideration? I put the Seahawks in consideration. I know their running backs have been banged up right now and there's questions about Geno Smith.

The Lions and Vikings, I think they're really close to one another. But outside of that, is there any other team that you would throw in there to be the third best team in the NFC? Right now, no.

I don't know. You don't buy the Saints, right? No. You know me, I'm high in the Rams, but not in the Super Bowl conversation.

No, sir. Yeah, I don't feel good about the Rams already. You have some Cooper Cup injuries popping on up.

Aaron Donald's still there, Matthew Stafford's still there, but then everybody else, it's like, ooh, what do we really have here with this Rams team? Now in the AFC, so you agree with me, there's two teams in the NFC at Super Bowl or bus. Just give me the number of teams you have in just the AFC for Super Bowl or bus. How many teams you have in the AFC? For this year, I would say four. You have realistically four.

I have three. It's the Buffalo Bills. And out of the five teams I'm going to give you, I'm most curious if Buffalo's going to get the job done. Because Buffalo has been that team.

They've been close. They've been years like last year where they've been anointed as that team. And then they're a year like this year where I don't think it's crazy to say Buffalo's going to win the Super Bowl. But when you have everyone and then everyone last year picking Buffalo to win the Super Bowl, you've not heard a lot of people this year say Buffalo's going to win the Super Bowl because they disappointed people last year, where they barely win the wild card game against Skylar Thompson. And then in the divisional round, they may as well not even have shown up because they got abused in that football game. And for Buffalo, here are my two concerns.

But when you have a window, you have to capitalize because that window will close if you don't eventually burst through it and take control of the house. But when you look at Buffalo, Hickey, my two concerns are this. Number one, will Von Miller be healthy? Because that team, remember, up against Kansas City, no, it's a regular season. Von Miller comes off the edge, forces the interception. They win that game. That was a moment that that goes, OK, that's why they brought Von Miller in.

And the other is what will the play calling look like? Because it's one thing to say Josh Allen has to protect himself. There's another thing to put Josh Allen in the best position to protect himself. And they need to run the ball, not ground and pound like this is 1970.

But they got to run the ball a little bit more. And I'm talking about outside of their quarterback in Josh Allen. So those are my two concerns with the Buffalo Bills.

Any other concerns that you have with Buffalo? I do wonder about Sean McDermott in the big game in the sense that does he? Almost kind of like going back to what Sean members talk about with Pete Manning, does he almost kind of get too choked up in the moment where he comes too conservative, gets too nervous? We've seen plenty of players get too nervous to lose compared to kind of letting it go free and just go to play to win.

He's playing not to lose. We've seen now a lot of times either in the playoffs where he's too conservative or the team is too tight. Going back to last year against the Bengals, you almost argued too loose and too careless against the Dolphins the week before that. I do have questions about Sean McDermott in terms of getting over the hump in a very tough AFC. So I think the world of Sean McDermott where I was one of the few people advocating for him to get a head coaching job. I wanted the Eagles to hire him. And they ended up making the right hire in Doug Peterson. And that team did not get into the playoffs since I think it was 1999. And then McDermott gets there and all they do is go to the playoffs and they've been predicted to be one of those better teams in the AFC.

So I believe in Sean McDermott. With that being said though, I wonder last year there was a lot going on in the community. Then you had the DeMar Hamlin situation as well. And I don't want to compare what I just said to the Von Miller injury, but the Von Miller injury also did a number on that team because that team relied a lot on Von Miller.

I just wonder two things. If a lot of their shortcomings last year had to just do with a bunch of real life serious issues that are bigger than football and maybe they were a little bit distracted and who could blame them. And the other thing with Sean McDermott is sometimes I hate to say it this way, like a message just gets old, but when you've turned around that team and you've turned around that franchise and you do so much work, sometimes you don't get to see the ultimate benefit. And we've seen that before in sports where one guy will do a phenomenal job in setting that team up to succeed and they take that team to a level where it's pretty respectable where the bills are right now.

But then you need another guy to finish the job. And I just wonder with McDermott, if we reach that point where after this year, if they don't get the job done, are they one of those teams where Sean McDermott will definitely get another job? Sean McDermott is considered to be a really good coach in this league with what he's done in Buffalo, which has been a losing organization. And he's turned around the thought and the mentality of that team where they were awful for 20 years and now look where they are.

And I just wonder if you need another person to get the ball from the five yard line into the end zone. He's done a great job, like you said, at turning them around. They are now, they went from perpetual loser to perpetual playoff team every single year.

They're always on the short list of Super Bowl contenders. But like I said, he, I think really, really, really good coach. This team maybe needs a great coach to get over the hump again. You tell them the homes now borough like this is not an easy conference or division whatsoever to get through. You may need someone kind of a ringer, basically the last finishing piece to truly get Buffalo where they want to go.

This may be a little bit outlandish and premature. I look at Jim Harbaugh, who, you know, wants to go back to the NFL. Can't you see if, let's say, the Dolphins, and I don't think the Dolphins have a disappointing year, but let's say the Dolphins aren't as good as, as what we thought. And you know, the connection with Stephen Ross and Stephen Ross has always said like, oh, he's not gonna be the guy that takes away Jim Harbaugh from Michigan. But if the Bills, let's say, got to move on from McDermott and they feel it's time and you look at Harbaugh, who when he was at the Niners, three NFC title games and got to a Super Bowl. Maybe there's going to be a bidding war this offseason and it could be a long shot between the Bills and the Dolphins for Jim Harbaugh if those teams don't meet where they're supposed to go for this upcoming year. I wonder if you're Buffalo, you can do better in the sense that take an established coach that's out there. I mean, does Sean McVay itch and leave?

Like, I would make a trade if I was them. I can't see Sean McVay coaching in Buffalo. Sean McVay seems like a guy that he loves the LA, he loves to be the Hollywood scene type of guy.

That's not Buffalo. Potentially, but we kind of talked about the NBA level with Ty Lue and would he take some of these jobs that normally are not open with so many stars available? If you fire Sean McDermott, it's very rare that a team that is Super Bowl ready right now with a quarterback, receiver, everyone right there ready to go opens up. And you know these coaches are whores.

You saw it with Sean Payton. I love Taysom Hill and all these guys you bring in and you're like, I don't have a quarterback. Yeah, I'm going to go retire.

I'll do TV. And then the moment a decent situation, not even a good situation, but a decent situation opens up, you could talk yourself back in because you go, I could turn around Russell Wilson. And the Bills will be a good destination. I was going to say, the Bills are going to have a lot of interest in that job where you can be very choosy, whether it's Jim Harbaugh or someone else, you can do very well at that job. Is Bill Cowher going to take the job?

8.55, 2.12. Maybe Sean Payton will retire again for a few weeks. And then so far I gave the Eagles, the Niners, and the Bills as my three Super Bowl or bus teams and then clearly it's the Chiefs and the Bengals. I'm only at five.

You said you had a six. Who was that 16? New York Jets. You get Aaron Rodgers in. I know they have the longest playoff drought, but you brought Aaron Rodgers in at 39 years old for one reason, to win a Super Bowl. Winning a playoff game, getting to a Super Bowl, not good enough for a guy that's a two or three-year window, winning now. But now that you know that he's going to be there for another season, right, with the way that they did that contract and he takes less, you would assume that he's going to be back next year, which until he did that with the contract, there was a thought that maybe that doesn't happen. If they get to an AFC title game this year and lose by a field goal, am I going to call that season a failure for the Jets? Personally, I wouldn't because then you set yourself up with now everyone knows Rodgers.

He took less money. You'll get those missing pieces and then get the job done next year. Now, easier said than done, but that's why I hold off a little bit because the Jets were a seven-win team last year. I look at them as if they get to an AFC title game this year, I can't crush them for getting that far.

It is the Zach Gelb show on CBS Sports Radio. We'll do a little first and go with Jon Kuhn next. To what you really want while you navigate life so you can move forward with confidence and excitement. Trusting yourself to make decisions that align with your values is like anything.

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That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash Gelb. You're listening to the Zach Gelb show. The NFL season is inching closer and closer. Who are the contenders and who are the pretenders? We have four downs to figure out your team's future. It's time now for first and goal on the Zach Gelb show. Go pack go! Time to preview the Green Bay Packers. We'll do so with one of our favorites, former Packers fullback, the great John Coon.

John, appreciate the time as always. How you been? I've been great, Zach, especially now that training camps have started. It's the unofficial, I guess, end for summer for most of us that cover the NFL.

But it's always a fun and exciting time, especially with a young team like this Green Bay Packers team. Yeah, and I saw over the weekend Adam Schein, who I like and everyone's entitled to an opinion, said that Jordan Love can't play football. I don't know how you could say that yet, even though I like Adam, but how did you react when you saw that one?

How did I know this was going to be one of the questions here today? Listen, and I've always enjoyed Schein too. I like listening to him right there on Sirius. And to be honest with you, you know the connection that he has with Aaron Rodgers. And when Aaron Rodgers creates an affinity with a co-host or with a platform, he sticks to it. And you know, Schein was one of those guys that Aaron could go to and know that he would have a nice interview, an honest interview, an interview that he would be able to drive his narrative along with some other platforms. So Schein has a relationship with Aaron. Aaron has a relationship with Schein. I don't think Schein has any idea, as most of us have very little idea of what Jordan Love is going to be in regular season football.

I can tell you some things though. The physical skills are there. The physical talent is there. And throughout this entire training camp as QB1 for this Packer team, he's had highlights and he's had some boneheaded plays. And that's exactly what you would expect out of a first year starting quarterback. As you said, none of us know what to expect.

But at the end of the year, in realistic terms, what would make you happy when you look back and evaluate Jordan Love? I would say, you know, progress throughout the second half of the season, right? The Packers are fortunate enough that with the lackluster season that they had last year, they have a favorable contract or schedule going forward, especially at the start of this football season. So it's not like he's going to come out here and face a murderer's row right off the bat. All these teams in the National Football League now, especially in September, we know with the lack of playing time that people get in the preseason, those first four games, those first five games, they're kind of your unofficial preseason and getting ready period.

So none of these teams should come out here and really blow the socks off the Packers. And that gives Jordan Love almost a soft landing into the regular season. With that said, being as young as he is, you're not going to expect him to go up there and put up old Aaron Rodgers numbers from when he was winning MVPs.

I don't think anybody is anticipating that. But as the season goes along, you would expect to start seeing that connection with him and Christian Watson to develop the connection with he and Romeo Dobbs to develop. And then the connection with the young tight ends because they got two of them that can really run like deer in Luke Musgrave and Tucker Craft. So this team around the skill positions, they're young, they're talented. And if Jordan Love can figure out a way towards midway throughout the second half of the season to show, he's finding ways to get them the ball and get them the ball reliably.

And I think everybody will be happy around here. And I think the biggest thing right now is the way that he handled the Rodgers situation, which wasn't easy, got him a lot of respect in that locker room. And that's the best thing that he could control right now is the guys probably believe in him.

Yeah, that's true. This team has bonded together. And quite frankly, the entire city and the organization has bonded together throughout this process as well. I can't help but believe that what happened in 2008 with the transition from Brett Park to Aaron Rodgers, everybody kind of learned from that situation. So they're having much more patience this time around. And there's really a rallying cry behind Jordan Love family night, which is just the practice, just a mere practice at Lambeau Field garnered over sixty five thousand fans who unanimously showed great support for Jordan Love throughout the night. And and even afterwards for a postgame interview. So I would say he's got the respect and he's got the backing of not just his teammates, but all of Green Bay.

Let's get to the next down. John Coon here with us. I agree with what you said about building that chemistry with the tight ends and also the wide receivers. And we saw what Watson was able to do in the second half of the season last year. But I got to think Aaron Jones and A.J. Dylan are going to be his two best friends because they should run the football pretty good about this year.

Yeah. And that was first talked about that as well, that they're going to run the football when when they see fit, when, when, when it's really good for them. And what he means by that is they're going to see a lot of safety there in the box early on. They really will. And it's going to be tough sledding for these backs.

I will say this. Aaron Jones has always been that that home run hitting type running back. But A.J. Dylan has done something with his body this offseason. He's come in determined. This is a contract year for him.

He is not just quadzilla in the quad father like he likes to refer to his two humongous legs. But he also has a little bit more of a burst starting training camp than what he's had these last few years. So I think they both understand what's going to be at hand here, especially early on in the season.

But in order to get that going, you're still going to need some big plate threats. So I still wouldn't be shocked to see Matt LaFleur take some shots. And Jordan would love to take some shots here, even when early in the season, they really want to focus on running the football. As we talked about John Coon, there's a lot of unknown with the quarterback and then also the coach. We see them have a really good record. But that was with Aaron Rodgers. I know there's been some injuries as well and COVID with Rodgers too. But what do you think Matt LaFleur is as a head coach now without the safety blanket of one Aaron Rodgers?

You know, Matt's always the first to let everybody know. You show me a good coach and I'll show you great players. And he understands the fact that great players really make the job easy. And with saying that, I can tell you this has been a different training camp at least for me to attend. Because it's not just the loss of Aaron Rodgers. Mercedes Lewis is not here, Randall Cobb's not here, Allen Lazard's not here, Dean Lowry's not here. There's a plethora of different players that have moved on from this Green Bay Packers team.

A lot of new faces, a lot of young faces. This is a very, very young roster. And with that, coaches can sink their teeth into it a little bit more. It's not just coaching from experience.

It's coaching off the cuff to these guys on the field. And I think that brings a bit of excitement for the coaches to know that, and even though Matt LaFleur won't admit this, they might have a little bit more of an imprint on what this team looks like on the field more so than in years past. Because this team is not necessarily led by the veterans right now, the old veterans right now. This team is also led by the coaches because there are so many young players that do need tough coaching. We all know the importance of Rodgers and it's not going to be easy to replace him.

But I think for a lot of those younger guys, now they could exhale a little bit because those last few years, it had to be distracting and you didn't want to be that younger guy that said the wrong thing. More than that, Zach, whenever Aaron Rodgers is on a roster, you've seen this happen with the New York Jets now, you're thrust into Super Bowl favorites category. And just like the Jets are this year, the Packers have been for every year that Aaron Rodgers has been the starting quarterback, except for maybe 2008, they've been right there at the tops of the league for being expectations for not just playoffs, but deep playoff runs. And without those true expectations, now if you ask Matt LaFleur, if you ask the players, if you ask all the coaches, they still have expectations to do big things. But without those true founded expectations from the outside world, I think all the players can play a little freer, can really go about themselves and just work on the little nuances that it takes for them to become incrementally better as individuals that collectively will make this team much better. When I look at the defense, I love Kenny Clark, Jair Alexander as well.

When I had Kenny on last, he talked about how they had to be more consistent as a group on the defensive side of the ball. When you look at this defense, what are they capable of this season? Very high hopes going into last season.

There really was a great expectation that was not met. For all intents and purposes, they were just an average defense. They finished 17th in points, they finished 17th in yards, but that doesn't mean they don't have an immense amount of talent around them. They did lose Rashawn Gary for the last seven games of the season. What's crazy about that is the defense actually played better when Rashawn Gary went out.

The pressure rate went down, but they were able to be optimistic or opportunistic and create turnovers. I see this defense as they try and build a more aggressive identity this year, with Jair Alexander on the outside, with Rizal Douglas on the outside, and with Rashawn Gary coming back off a puck just this past week. I see this defense creating a more aggressive nature for themselves, and if they can be consistent while being aggressive, this team has eight first-round draft picks on the defensive side of the football.

This team could be very, very good defensively if they can be consistent while being aggressive. Let's get to the final down. Wrap it up with John Kuhn. When you look at the NFC North, how do you rank those teams headed into the season 1-4?

It's tough. It is such a coin flip of a division right here. You would have to say that the quarterback uncertainty with Jordan Love, you can't put them number one, albeit, I'm telling you Zach, the amount of weaponry that they have on this offense, both at the wide receiver and the tight end position. People aren't going to know these names, but they're going to know Jaden Reed by the end of the year. They're going to know Luke Musgrave by the end of the year.

They already know Christian Watson, and if they don't, then they will know Romeo Dobbs. They have some serious speed and size on this offense. They're a total wild card. This team could finish 6-11, or this team could finish 10 wins. That's how wild of a wild card this Green Bay Packers team is. I have to give a slight nod to the Detroit Lions in this one because of how they finished last year versus the Minnesota Vikings with how they finished last year. I think both those teams are competing for the tops of that with the Packers and the Bears chasing. Would you say that the Bears are fourth headed into this year, or would you put them over the Packers? The Bears need to make such a leap to be right there into the mix. They've revamped that team.

I love some of the defensive additions that they've put on that team, but I think they need to make such a leap. I can't necessarily say they're up there into the three or the two category yet. John Kuhn, always good to catch up with you. Appreciate it. Absolutely. It's always fun talking with you, Zach.

You're listening to the Zach Gelb Show. Others are saying the Lions could be the third best team in the NFC. And also, Hickey, don't you kind of get the feel that if I put out a poll question right now, who wins the NFC North, it would be the overwhelming majority of people, probably like 65%, 70% of people, which is a big number on a poll question. If not more, that would say the Lions will win the NFC North.

That would be the popular consensus pick, I would agree. And that scares me. I don't know about you, but when everyone's talking about the Lions being the team and being that group that is expected to win, I just wonder with a group that hasn't done it yet, doesn't mean they can't do it, but if they're going to be able to do it. And that's why, as I sit here today on the eighth day of August in the year of 2023, I still lean, even though I don't love that team, I still lean the Vikings slightly by the slimmest of margins over the Detroit Lions. Always smart to fade the public. In this instance, though, I am not. I will lean into what the public is saying.

I buy it as well. I think the Lions are for real. They win. Folks in Detroit, if you guys don't get the job done, you could forget all the past history. That's the Hickey hex right there. Folks in Detroit, you are welcome. You're welcome. I don't know if you should be wanting them to say thank you because your track record.

I don't know about that. If we see Jared Goff show up to practice tomorrow in a mustache and then all of a sudden get a finger injury, that's when we know, folks, that the Hickey hex is real and spectacular. If he shows up in a mustache, let me tell you, my MVP pick from when we did the draft a few weeks ago, looking better and better. You know who I finally think you look like? I've been able to pin down who you look like as everyone's been looking at Hickey in the office.

And I will say yesterday, I don't know if a lot of people are talking crap to you today, like Denny, who does a great job for us here at CBS Sports Radio cleaning up the office. He went up to you and goes, I don't like that mustache. But a lot of people went out of their way when you weren't here yesterday because Hickey thought it was a good idea on a bachelor party to shave his great beard and just trim it down to a mustache, which I don't know how you shaved it, Hickey, but do you notice this, that one side is a little bit thicker than the other? Yeah, I botched it a little bit, a tiny bit.

When I was buzzing, I got a little too close to one side when I was kind of getting, you know, getting the finishing touches done. You do have like a Ned Flanders type of thick mustache, but that's not the person that I'm going to really, really compare you to. You know who I see a little bit of? Matthew McConaughey. Bradley Cooper. That's in my head what I think.

Probably Bradley Cooper because he has black hair and so do I. I don't really have blondish brown. You're not a major, major movie fan, right? I know movies, some movies. But I remember Bill Rider used to crush you for your lack of movie knowledge. And I'm not pretending to be like this movie aficionado. There's a lot of movies that people mention that I'm like, oh, yeah, I haven't seen. And people are like, oh, my goodness gracious, I can't see that.

I can't believe that. You remember Napoleon Dynamite, right? Yes.

I think you should. You kind of look like Pedro Napoleon Dynamite with that mustache. That's that's what I see. I was trying to figure out all day who you look like. And I have limited down and narrowed it down to Pedro Napoleon Dynamite. And then also a little bit of Ned Flanders just because of the thickness of that mustache. It's not as thick as a Ted Lasso mustache, but you are in that Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite and Ned Flanders type of category right now. Mine is definitely thicker than Pedro's. That's for sure.

For hands down, not even a question. Yeah, but it's like it's a little sloppy. I don't I think it's pretty well kept again outside of the little accidental little too high and tight on one side, which is really not even that noticeable. I would say I think you need to cut it. I think you need to cut it.

I think you do. I would not be cutting it. Why not? I would have my beard grow back. But between now and then, I think the mustache stays. But here's the thing. You don't believe that you look good if you were clean shaven, right?

That is correct. I think you would look fine. I think it would open up a new world for you and a new way of thinking where you've been so self-conscious for some reason. And you said this to me unprovoked. Oh, if if I didn't have a beard, I would look horrible.

I don't think that's the case. I think you look worse now with that caterpillar on your upper lip where I think you would look better if you just shaved it. I also sources tell me sources close to the hickeys. Tell me that I think your girlfriend wouldn't mind if you got rid of the mustache. Bad news for her. It started growing me.

It is starting to grow me. So, you know, I don't think this is going anywhere anytime fast. What happens if she gives you the ultimatum? If she says I'm gone, if you don't shave the mustache, she would never do that. OK. How about she says there's going to be no nookie time for for two weeks if you don't shave the mustache? She'd also never do that. But let's play the game. If she if she did say that, would you would you cut the mustache or out of principle, would you go, no, I'm not cutting the mustache?

I mean, out of print. I mean, I feel like I got I have it. I got to I got to rock with it now. That's all just so the beard comes back.

How long do you think that will take? I will say I have no idea. You you everything else. You were the bearskin. Yes.

Oh, yes. Shaved right down, baby faced it. And when was that? That was on Thursday night after the show.

We flew out very early Friday morning. You got a decent amount of facial hair already back outside of that big furry caterpillar. It's been like four years or so since I went full clean shaven. So I have no idea how long it's going to take to grow back.

I hope sooner rather than later. But this is kind of the game we're going to play right now. Now, moist pork is a big time listener to this show and to this network. And moist pork is originally a D alien. And I got a chance to meet the the infamous moist pork when I was at the Bob's Bar show. He says, if you get the D.A.

job and you're now on camera for four four hours each and every day, you've got to get rid of of that mustache. And if you want to be welcomed into that community, you got to be accepted by moist pork first. So I think moist pork, if you get that job with D.A., he will determine the future state of that mustache. Wow.

I guess interesting. You can't really go up against moist pork. He does have a lot of pull in that community.

He has a lot of pull. I don't think you want to annoy right out of the gate moist pork if that's not a guarantee. But a long, long way to go. Also, I hope I mean. Process still is a long way to play out. I hope by then. I mean, it's somewhat back. I mean, I don't plan on having this thing for another month.

What are you like a football coach now with the answers that you're that you're giving me? I'm just I mean, I don't plan it like a politician. My beard does come back sooner rather than later.

So again, it's not going to be a you know, we're sitting here in October and the mustache is still staying. Now, I look out for you. It may not always seem that way, but I think I operate in your best interest when you get enough of the rest of the hair that grows in. I would go to a barber to get it all even up. Oh, I can do that. And that was my plan. I'm not there yet.

I could do that. Judging the way that you cut this mustache. One side is significantly hairier than the other.

So I would just get the professionals do it because you don't want to mess that up. And then people just be afraid to tell you that, that it's all uneven. And I think that's a big thing that you have to go to a barber to get that trimmed and lined up. We'll see how it comes in the fresh new flow that never grows back. I guess you'll be seeing me with a mustache for a while.

Let me tell you. Call me your Ron Swanson. Don't go by a little Ron Burgundy in you.

But but don't don't go by any parks until you get a full beer back because I think some people be calling the cops. That's that's all I'm going to say because it is creepy that mustache. Speaking of creepy, I do have a gift for you. Oh, you don't come my van to go get it, though. I don't think so. All right. I don't think so.

I got you two gifts, actually. Oh, wow. Well, hold on.

Well, I want to play the Lomas Brown sound. OK, so we could do it later. Is one cactus candy? Yes. All right. Yes. Save it tomorrow.

Fresh package. OK. Do you have it here with you now? I do.

Oh, OK. Well, you know, we'll figure this out. Here's Lomas Brown with us yesterday. Talk about the lines. A lot of our fans. They snuck with the danger title. They still win in the playoff game, which we haven't done in 30 some odd years.

They go straight to the Super Bowl. So, you know, the anticipation, you know, the excitement, you know, everything, the hoopla that's going on around there. I think Dan has been. I think he's been the right message to those guys that we haven't done anything yet, which they haven't. You know, it's nice to have the hype.

It's nice to have this all behind you. But you got to go out there and you got to win. So until they get that done, until we win the game, win the playoffs game and prove that we're not the same old Lions. You know, I think these guys are ready for that challenge.

We only know when we lace it up against Kansas City on Thursday night. But I do think Dan has the potential of his team and they'll follow in his lead. You know, I was talking about this the other day, what the expectation should be bare minimum for the Lions. And at first we were like, all right, it's to win the division because everyone's picking them. But they just got to make the playoffs this year. Like Lions fans are not going to be bummed if they're the seventh seed in the wild card. Right?

Yeah. And I do think we got to win one. I think we got to win one.

I mean, it would be great to get in there. But Zach, 31 years, 32 years since we won the playoff game. I think we have to win one this year.

Now we have this conversation last week. So they haven't won a playoff game since 1991. Lions fans talking Super Bowl, I think is just crazy. But if they are a wild card team.

Seven seed and they lose like 31 to 30. Are we going to call that season a failure? I think it's a big step that they had to take.

But after hearing Lomas say that, I know you respect Lomas. Do you change your opinion at all? I know we were aligned last week that you just got to get to the playoffs. The only thing I'll change it is seeing how the season plays out and seeing what your matchup is. You're at home and you're bad team limping and you should win.

Different story. But right now I'm with you. Get to the playoffs.

It's a win. Zach Gelb's show CBS Sports Radio. We'll talk some college football, a little college football fix next with one of our favorites. Brian Jones will stop by. Oh, we're getting closer to the college football season.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-08-08 22:09:16 / 2023-08-08 22:27:09 / 18

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