And away we go, our number two of our radio program, and this is Zach Gelb's show on CBS Sports Radio. We're coming to you live from the Rocket Mortgage Studios. Whether you're looking to purchase a new home or refinance yours, Rocket Mortgage can help you get there for home loan solutions that fit your life.
Well, Rocket can. Alrighty, we got to get back into these Jerry Jones comments. We just played them for you in the last hour.
Let me play them for you one more time. This is Jerry Jones saying the Cowboys offense will go through Ezekiel Elliott, courtesy of First Take, and the interview was done by Stephen A. Smith, who is now a co-worker of ours. Yes, he still works for ESPN, but he is doing the podcast now three times a week through Odyssey and Cadence 13, which I didn't even know, me being the great company man that I am, that that was part of Odyssey, but now I do. So I'm all plugged in. I'm all in form. Stephen A. Smith, even though it probably means nothing to you, I welcome you to Odyssey, and we'll play you your audio from First Take today with Jerry Jones talking about Zeke.
Now, it is still a fact. We go as Zeke goes. I know it's a lot on Dak's shoulders, but we go as Zeke goes.
He's very capable of being everything we've ever wanted to be. The wild card, though, is the guy that's playing beside him, Pollard. And so we put Pollard in some plans that with Zeke, for the defenses to have to work against midweek and be ready to play, then you've got Pollard. We really like where we are running back, but it all starts and stops with Zeke.
I disagree with that. It all starts and ends with your quarterback. As I said, and I'll say it again, three, four years ago, he'd be 100% right, and no one would even make this a conversation because three, four years ago, that was Zeke's team. Dak wasn't as established. Now, Zeke has taken a step back. Dak is the face of your organization.
He's the face of your franchise, and he's the best player on the offensive side of the ball and the most important player. So I just don't get why Jerry Jones said that, other than what maybe Hickey's explaining. He's trying to justify the Ezekiel Elliott contract, and maybe he knows he doesn't need to give Dak Prescott a boost of confidence, but that's what he could potentially be doing with Ezekiel Elliott. But if you need Zeke to get his confidence up because he hears that, oh, Tony Pollard's going to be taking some reps, and he hears that everyone's now salivating over Dak Prescott, give me a break if you need to motivate Ezekiel Elliott. Was this partly done in motivation, Hickey? I'll ask you that since you brought up the Jerry point of it that you were making a few moments ago. Possibly. I mean, I respect the Cowboys trying to pull out all stops to get him going. This is lame. But, I mean, he should need much more motivation after what happened in the last two years anyway.
Yeah. Especially when your team last year, the entire offense was abysmal in the playoff game. And you guys had a really good team last year. The run game was strong early on. The quarterback was strong early on. And then in the playoff game, that offense was horrible when Jimmy Garoppolo was trying to give you the game and throw the game away. And you couldn't even get that final snap off because you ran that just idiotic boneheaded play, which I still don't get, where you run with the quarterback, the quarterback runs too far, then slides too far, then they couldn't even get the snap off. And you get a final Hail Mary attempt, which would have been reasonable like 30, 35 yards out.
It was stupid. But going off the Ezekiel Elliott conversation, which we're both in agreement, the Cowboys do not go as far as Ezekiel Elliott takes them. It all starts and ends with the quarterback. Who are some running backs in the NFL that their team relies on them to start and end the season and it will all be determined based off how far the running back takes them?
So I'm going to give you some, some players here, some running backs on teams and let's have some conversations about them hot take Hickey. First up, in no order, Najee Harris with the Pittsburgh Steelers. For this year's version of the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Steelers have a really good defense. I think they should start Kenny Pickett week one. If they go with Mitch Trubisky, we don't know what Kenny Pickett's going to be. We don't know what Mitch Trubisky or Mitch Trubutski is, but when it comes to Najee Harris, who regardless of who the quarterback is, that offense, it's going to be a run first offense. You agree that the Steelers go as far as Najee Harris takes them this year? Yes.
And by extension, how far the offensive line can block or not block. Which is all part of the run game. Right.
Right. Number two, Nick Chubb. Now, if you had Deshaun Watson for a full 17 games, even though Nick Chubb is a really good running back and I know Kareem Hunt may want to trade, but it doesn't look like they're going to trade him and meet those trade demands. Nick Chubb this year, especially with Deshaun Watson being out for the first 11 games of the season, that brown season starts and ends based off the run game, based off Nick Chubb.
Do you agree with that there, Hattekeke? 100%. We went through the schedule where we said four and seven with Jacobi Brissett. I had three wins with Jacobi Brissett. You got to ride Nick Chubb to give Deshaun Watson any sort of chance of making the playoffs.
Next one. This is a team that we talk about their quarterback a lot because the quarterback is so inconsistent, but this has been a team that's had a lot of success in recent years. They were able to survive without this player last year and be the number one overall seed. That's the Tennessee Titans. I still don't look at Tennessee now, especially even more, without A.J. Brown being there, uncertainty with Traylon Burks and Robert Woods coming off the injury.
Yeah, we know what Ryan Tannehill is, but if that team is going to be a team that wins the division, it all starts and ends with Derrick Henry. Your thoughts? 100% agree. Could not agree more. You don't think it all starts and ends there with Ryan Tannehill? No.
Just because of the maybe overbearing concern that he's eventually going to crumble in a spot? We've seen it every time in the playoffs. You know, it's kind of funny in that division. There's some divisions that you look at the teams inside the division, they mimic each other, and then sometimes you have teams inside the division that they couldn't be more opposite. Tennessee and the Colts are very similar. Questionable quarterback play, good offensive lines, great running back play. Tennessee last year was a really good defense, the Colts a really good defense. Those two teams are very similar, whether you want to maybe admit that or not, Ryan. I think the Colts are a little bit more balanced.
I like their passing attack a lot more than Tennessee's. This year especially. But I'm talking about previous years. Well, just last year and this year really, because the Colts were not too run heavy in 2020, and even when Jacoba said Andrew Luck, they pass a lot. So the last two years, the last year, this year, 100%.
Okay. Let's go to this next team that I was just talking about, the Colts. It all starts and ends with the Colts with Jonathan Taylor.
Jonathan Taylor had an MVP-type season last year, and I think he's going to have to have a similar season this year if the Colts are going to want to go and win this AFC South. I would disagree. You think it's a quarterback? Yes.
Okay. So I'm happy you disagree. What's the difference then with Tennessee and Indianapolis, where for Tennessee, and I thought you were going to disagree on Tennessee.
That's why I was surprised. With Tennessee, you go, yeah, it all starts and ends with Derrick Henry, but it's not the case with Jonathan Taylor? We've seen the Titans win the division and go to the AFC title game in the back of Derrick Henry. We have not seen the Colts have any sort of playoff success or make the playoffs on the back of Jonathan Taylor. I don't think it's his fault.
Is that fair? That guy's only been in the league for two years. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's on the quarterback. Like Jonathan Taylor, you said, he was in the MVP discussion for most of the year. He had the best year of any running back last year. The Colts still fell short of the playoffs and it wasn't his fault. It was Carson Wentz' fault. So for the Colts to get over the hump, even if Jonathan Taylor has as good of a year this year, it's for me still going to be on Matt Ryan's shoulders to get them there to the playoffs. Let me ask you this. So last year, Tennessee was without Derrick Henry since October 31st.
Yes. I hate to even throw this out there because I'm a big fan of this guy and I was all over the Jonathan Taylor hype train leading into last season. I told anyone that would listen, draft him for your fantasy team and I know you don't care about my fantasy team. If Jonathan Taylor is out for eight or nine weeks this season or out for like two months of the season, like what Tennessee had to deal with, with Derrick Henry being out, do you have confidence that the Colts could still win this division?
This year I do. Matt Ryan, yes. Last year Carson Wentz, you couldn't because Frank Wright didn't even trust him.
They didn't throw the ball. And you do have a good backup running back. Naim Hines, I like to have depth there. And again, when you have a good offensive line, not minimizing the position, it is easier to run behind a good offensive line which the Colts have. Now I would have probably said the same thing last year.
And I'll say it here that when Derrick Henry went down, it was, Oh, there went all the air out of the balloon. And you saw Mike Rabel do a heck of a coaching job. If Jonathan Taylor's out for two months, I think the Colts are screwed because that's how important he is to that team. And Matt Ryan is a good quarterback. You're in a better spot this year than you were last year. Don't, don't get me wrong, but Matt Ryan is not this great quarterback anymore.
I'm not saying he's great. I don't think Jonathan Taylor will come close to his carry number this year that he did last year. I think he'll go down. Okay. I think the pass game is going to come back. I'll give you two more here.
I'm leaving one for last intentionally. Saquon Barkley. Now we know the Giants have no expectations this year.
This is a rebuild with Joe Shane and Brian Daybell coming over from Buffalo. Daniel Jones, I don't know what he is. I haven't seen Daniel Jones have any sustained success in this league. We've seen Saquon Barkley win Rookie of the Year.
I'm going to think that in his first year, Brian Daybell's going to be balanced. And maybe if he has to lean one way or another, it's more to the run game because how multi-dimensional Saquon Barkley could be. Now Saquon Barkley has not had a good career. He's not been able to stay healthy. And when he's on the field, he's not had sustained success other than that rookie season. I do think the Giants, if they want to just be competitive this year, and that's like five, six wins for the Giants, probably.
That's how bad and how just dire of a state the Giants franchise is. I think it all starts and ends on the health of Saquon Barkley. I'm still going to say Daniel Jones. Because like if, when you are running back on a bad team, how far... You're not a believer in Daniel Jones. I'm not.
Okay. And neither am I. Saquon Barkley, who's your guy, former Penn State Nittany Lion, I do think he could still be a really good player in this league. But he's got to stay healthy. Like that team, there's nothing to get excited about with the Giants. Unless you get, and talking about watching the games, not long term, just watching the games this year, there's no one that really gets you excited on the offensive side of the ball. Other than Saquon Barkley.
I would agree. But my thing for you is not even him, it's the running back position. How, on a bad team, how far can a good running back take you? Five, six wins. Well, because they're a bad team. If they get five, if the Giants get six wins this year, that's a heck of a season for the Giants. That's how bad they've been. Yeah, they stink. They've been one of the worst the last four or five years. They've been the worst team.
They had a worse record than Cleveland. The Browns had no wins one year. And then finally, Christian McCaffrey. The Panther season, I know we all talk about Baker this Baker that Christian McCaffrey is going to need to win comeback player of the year if the Carolina Panthers are going to be going to the playoffs this year. And that means like going nine and eight or eight and nine and hoping the NFC is down as we expect it to be down. McCaffrey, though, has only played 10 games in the last two years.
The Panther season all starts and ends with Christian McCaffrey. I think that's the most obvious one on this list. I would agree with the caveat being like importance in the pass game. I would think if you had to choose one or the other.
Oh, multidimensional back. Right. Would you rather have him have more rush yards or pass yards? Like receiving yards. I'd say receiving yards. I don't think it matters to me. That's where I think his value will be even more important. Is it a difference if you're handing the guy the ball off or if you just dump it in the ball out of the backfield?
I get it. I just think his... Now he could be a threat in the vertical passing game. I saw him make a 25-yard catch from Baker Mayfield on the football team when I was at joint practice.
Like he could be a threat in the vertical passing game, but you would think most of those receiving yards are going to become dumping the ball off to him and then running and having a bunch of yak. Right. And stay 12 games bare minimum.
You got to play. Let's go to David in North Carolina. I'm really intrigued to take this phone call because the topic line says Herbert deserves more credit than slash hot take kick he needs his man card revoked. David, save the best for last. Give me your Herbert take first.
All right. All of you sports commentator gurus, you give Herbert his credit, but y'all fail to realize he's on his second coach in his third season. I don't fail to realize it. Second offensive coordinator and second quarterback coach and Brandon Staley caught that team last year. I think the run defense cost that team last year. I didn't have a problem with the Brandon Staley timeout. I'm not saying all of his decisions were right, but that run defense was horrible. It was the worst run defense in the league and that's what cost him up against the Raiders.
Yes, it was. But also, how do you get down inside the 20-yard line on three consecutive possessions against the Chiefs and come away with no points? It happens. I'm not saying that, hey, it's something that obviously you love, but Aaron Rodgers, he had problems in the NFC title game inside the red zone two years ago up against Tampa Bay that people forget.
He was probably doing an eye walk. And then what's your hot take kicky point here? I'm not going to say what I want to say because the girlfriend might be listening. I don't want to filter, but dude, it's preseason football.
Oh, you could say it. I could guarantee you Ryan's girlfriend's not listening. What did you want to say to the girlfriend? Bros over hoes. It is preseason football. You do the fantasy football thing in the morning over breakfast, maybe have a couple Bloody Marys, a couple of beers, and you need to go spend the rest of the day with your woman. Yes, and I would not call hot take hickeys woman the word that you did, but I appreciate the phone call. I think David's right.
And for people that didn't hear the first hour of the show, shame on you, but we appreciate you listening. Ryan, you have your fantasy draft on Saturday. You are chilling with your bros.
Okay. You're having that moment with your guy friends. That's why I didn't really get his comment, but you're spending those moments with your friends and then to ditch your girlfriend at night on Saturday for preseason football.
That's lame. Like if there's a regular season game. Yeah, good job by hot take hickey, but it's preseason football. How am I getting my man card revoked for that?
I should be getting it back and punched and stamped and maybe get two cards for that. This is the, this game counts. This is a huge game. I am making these rules. I'm saying I'm watching, I'm locked in, I'm doing what I want to do. Sorry. Sorry. Most guys can't do that. I can and I will. No, don't get upset if lolly makes a hinge profile during the preseason.
I mean, look, sorry. What do you want to do? Don't date someone who's, who's, who's watching Colts games in the preseason. What would you do now? You're watching this game on Long Island.
Yes, probably. What would you do when you go back to your New York City apartment? If all your things were packed up in a box and you told you to get out. I'd be very upset. Very pissed. Very annoyed. Why at her? She's being delusional, being delusional. You're being delusional. It's a preseason football game.
She knew what she's signing up for. This is a big game. I'm sorry. I'm not missing a big game. It's a good, it's a first half. I'm not watching a whole game. A big game? It's like, it's, it's going to be an hour and a half max.
Pause, pause, pause, pause. You realize you just said a preseason game is a big game? This specific year, this specific team going with this specific schedule, yes, this is a big game.
For the first half. I don't see, you know, you play the Texans in the Jaguars the first two weeks. Yeah, the Colts haven't beaten them. They don't win in week one and they don't win in Jacksonville. I agree.
Guess what? Your team sucks if you can't start the year out 2-0. I also totally would agree with that, which is why you got to play well in the preseason. It's preseason football. Get everyone excited. This game matters in two weeks.
It won't even show up in the standings. I'm not even saying you could be excited. I, for me, am excited because I'm not even excited.
I'm just interested to see what I'm going to see. You should be proud of me because I'm not taking the classic Colts training camp beat. I'm not getting overhyped. I'm not buying into receivers winning one-on-one drills.
It means that's going to be the, you know, the greatest receiver we've ever seen. I want to see competition on the field. How do you match up against another team? That is where we will truly see how this team is going to be good or not. This is an opportunity.
This is the first opportunity this season. Bro, you having your fantasy draft, no problem with. You got to draft eventually. But in the same day, you then tell your girlfriend after she's in her apartment by herself for five hours during your fantasy draft, because you guys still live in the Stone Age and you do this draft offline and you won't just draft with your buddies in person on a computer, which is a problem I have with your league. Then you're going to tell your girlfriend, I'm not going to be home for another three hours after that or maybe even four because I have to go watch preseason football.
Take take the misses out. Then maybe a little romance afterwards. But instead, you're going to be watching preseason football. She's more than welcome to come on over, watch. If you want to go to a bar or more.
OK, I'm not saying that. Does your girlfriend like football? Yeah, she she gets into it with me.
But preseason football, where she draws the line because she has standards? Probably. But I got to remind her gently, this is a big one. Have you had a conversation with your girlfriend about this? No.
No. Oh, so you haven't even told her yet? Well, I don't think we're planning hanging out on Saturday anyway. You guys live together.
Yeah. Well, I haven't seen her. She's been away all week.
This is even worse. Your girlfriend's going to be furious. She's away for the entire week. She's going to be home on Saturday. You're leaving her home alone. She has friends in the city. You're leaving her home alone on Saturday for your draft.
That's fine. And then you're doubling down. You got to know where to pick your battles here for preseason football. This game means nothing.
It's not worth it. She's not a dog. She has friends. She knows how to open the door.
She can go out and do whatever she wants. She's going to go out and party it up. If you're a listener, 855-212-4CBS. If you want to go out with Ryan's girlfriend this weekend, give us a call once again, 855-212-4227.
Or send an application to at Ryan underscore hickey three on Twitter. Let's just make sure you look normal and there's nothing wrong with you and you're clean and you're showered. And we will send you out on a date this weekend to wine and dine. Mrs. hot take hickey. You could take her out and show her a good old time and show what she's missing out on.
When Ryan is watching a preseason game over hanging with his girlfriend. You know, you said your girlfriend isn't a dog. You're going to be in the doghouse. You are going to be in the doghouse. And I don't want this reflecting your poor performance at work. Okay. I don't I don't want you to be all down to the dumps next week when your girlfriend won't talk to you.
Then be moping around the studios. It's game week next week. I'm pumped. Nothing will take me down next week. Penn State, Purdue, Thursday night, 730 or 8 o'clock. I think that I will be walking on air next week. We'll take a time out. Show CBS Sports Radio.
You're listening to the Zach Gelb show. Hickey's going to be attending his own funeral this weekend or he's going to be permanently in the doghouse. If you didn't hear, Hickey has his fantasy football draft on Saturday. Fine. Awesome. Great.
But then instead of spending time with his girlfriend on Saturday night, after his girlfriend has been away the entire week, Hickey is electing not to see his girlfriend and he is going to be watching Colts preseason football. Now, I've gotten some responses on Twitter and you know me, I'm very fair. So I'm just going to read you the responses.
Two of them that I'm going to read to you go in your favor. And then one is making a request. Ron Hughes on Twitter. Hornet's Ron. He says, so Hickey's girlfriend is free then on Saturday night. Ron, back off.
Even though we were just saying you could give a call at eight five five two one two four CBS. If you want to go out with Hickey's girlfriend and just show her to a good time on Saturday night. Now, Chris Karp one two seven six on Twitter, Hickey says, Zach, why are you so worried about Hickey's lady?
Let this man live. So a little support. I'm not worried about Hickey's lady. I'm worried about Hickey because I know the way that this is going to go after spending five hours with the boys at a fantasy football draft. And then telling your girlfriend, hey, we're not hanging out on Saturday after she's been out of town the entire week because I have to go watch Colts preseason football. Hickey's going to be just mortified on Monday because his girlfriend's not going to talk to him on Sunday. And then she's not going to talk to him on Monday, probably give him the cold shoulder. And Hickey's going to be in a bad mental state come Monday.
And I don't want that to happen to a friend. And then Sam Young on Twitter, who Hickey you'll like this one. He responded to a post of me commenting on the Dewan Mathis QB one announcement for Temple football. I don't know why this was the tweet that he responded to to voice his opinion on your dating scene.
So now the Temple community is going to be all well versed in your bad decision on Saturday night. Sam Young wrote, Zach, that's the kind of girlfriend you want. She's letting him do stuff. She does her stuff. He does his stuff.
Man, that's awesome. So you have a fan in your relationship, except here's the problem. I'm assuming Lolly's not going to be happy about this. Now, when you assume you make an ass out of you and me, I don't think I'm going to make an ass out of you and me on this one.
I think your girlfriend is going to be livid. No, we already talked about it. You just told me you didn't have a conversation about it in the last segment.
What about the Colts game? I told her about the draft. I got me a home on Long Island and that, you know, probably won't see her on Saturday. The draft is fine, but you have not told her about the Colts game yet. Well, no, but I wasn't planning on coming back to the city after the draft anyway. I'd be banged up. It's a draft. Are we doing this sober?
I'm not. You guys get that banged up at your draft? What kind of draft do you guys have?
It's a run-of-the-mill fantasy football draft. What kind of food? I think some pizzas and sandwiches. Pizza and sandwiches, okay. And you guys got a keg?
No keg, no. A bunch of cases? Probably just, yeah, you know.
You know the deal. Your friends tweet me a lot. Why didn't I get invited to announce your fantasy football draft? I would have done it for free. You want to announce the fantasy football draft?
Now, I have plans this weekend, so I'm not available. But if you guys gave me some beer, some pizza, and some sandwiches, I would have showed up. And I would have entertained your friends who always creep into my DMs and always tweet me things.
Sometimes supporting you and then sometimes bashing you. You would have been there announcing with the seventh overall pick. Hot take hickeys.
What a dumb pick! Cults, brigades, selects. Can you say your fantasy football team name on the radio, or is it not PG-13? No, no, no.
It's very PG-13. It's my overall philosophy and fantasy. Volume guys.
My only draft guys are going to get the ball a ton. Not to brag, I've done very well. That's a lame name. No titles. Not based off a player, no witty pun or anything? Volume guys, that's it.
Volume guys. Then you've got to change your name every single year. Why are you called Hot Take Hickey? That's not a thing. That's not a thing.
Hickeys pickies. I endorse. Lots of segments coming to CBS Sports Radio very soon. Oh, you're bringing that to CBS Sports Radio?
Oh, you know I am. So Hickey on his, what was that show called that you did? The Ryan Hickey Show.
On the worldwide sports radio network. Yeah, which by the way, you didn't even do it this week because now you're becoming an NBA player. You need a little management because you're doing a Colts podcast and you're doing a show on CBS Sports Radio. So you just said forget about that show. Just get rid of that other show. I think I'm about to. Also, I have this show to produce. I'm getting pulled in all directions. I've got to make sure of the main thing, the main thing. I think you have too much on your plate right now. Well, that's why I think the digital show is trending towards... Alright, so get rid of the digital show. But we better not be taking a back seat. This is where you earn your money. I don't want to hear, oh, I'm doing a Colts podcast.
Oh, I'm hosting the Weekend Overnight, it's a gig that I helped you get. That that's going to take away from the quality of this show. That's not going to happen, right? Has it so far? Geez, you know what I'm starting to sound like there?
Your dad? No, I'm starting to sound like Taz. Taz used to, when I filled in with Taz, he wasn't always thrilled with Mikey B's podcast.
Because sometimes Mikey B's podcast would get better guests than one of our 7,000 versions of the morning show here on CBS Sports Radio. When that was Taz and the Moles. Taz and the Moles. Yo, bro.
What's going on? Yo, Mikey B. Mikey B. Great producer. I love Taz, though. Taz is great. I miss Taz. I wish Taz still worked here. Maybe we'll get him as a co-host on this show. You think Spike will pay two hosts in this shift? Just what you need. One boisterous host and let's pair him with another.
We had so much fun when we worked together. Really? Oh, yeah. Taz even looked at me at one point. And it's a big macho man, right? Taz is a man's man. And Taz looked at me and he goes, bro, my mother was listening to the show and she said she really likes your style on the air. And I was not expecting, before I even had my coffee, at like 5.30 in the morning, after one day of filling in, Taz's mother, who I hear is a wonderful lady, praising me for the way that I worked with her son on a little radio show on CBS Sports Radio. Always good to be on Mrs. Taz's good side.
Yeah. Mikey B goes, Taz doesn't like many people around here. He likes you.
He goes, I don't know what the heck you did, but he likes you. I wonder if Mikey B fell on that list. No, he liked Mikey B. He liked Mikey B other than when Mikey B would get better guests on his podcast than actually on Taz and the Moose. But Taz wasn't a big guest guy.
That's why I never really got the complaint either. Ack, you think Hickey, his seat's going to be a little bit on fire this weekend when he's doing a fantasy football draft with his pals and his girlfriend's been away for a week, and then instead of hanging out with his girlfriend at night, he's going to be staying with his parents on his parents' house in Long Island and watching Colts preseason football. Yeah. So he's in trouble. Yeah. Big time trouble.
Yeah. This is how you know you're in trouble, because Ack would sometimes try to weasel his way into defending Hickey. Ack just saying, yes, you're in trouble with no other explanation to it shows that you're in deep dog doo doo there, hot take Hickey. I don't really know how to prove it, I guess, but on Monday I'll walk in my head held high and say it was a great weekend.
Hopefully yours was just as good. Do I have to follow your girlfriend on Instagram? Yes. I do? Yes. Because I take a breath, Ack, holy smokes.
This did cross my mind, Hickey. You know how Instagram makes suggestions? I guess because we've posted photos together and I have some mutual friends I saw when I went to your girlfriend's page who's private. It suggested that I should follow your girlfriend. And I did not follow your girlfriend because I didn't know if I should have followed your girlfriend.
The AI is always always listening. Well, here's the thing. I've never met your girlfriend, so I don't know if I should follow her.
I don't know if that would have been weirder or whatnot. Like your girlfriend knows who I am. You work with me. You work on the Zach Gelb show. That's right. It's your job title.
You're the producer of the Zach Gelb show. So I was I was skeptical for a second to follow your girlfriend. I figured I needed to bring it up to you before I pressed the follow button.
And I think it would open a good line of communication where then I could just slide into her DMS right now and say, hey, are you OK with Hickey on a Saturday night? A Saturday night after ditching you all day when you've been out of town for a week, prioritizing a meaningless football game. And I'm with you. I've been in those instances.
I've been in those spots where the girlfriend's like, go hang out with me. Regular season football. Sorry. Got a job to do.
Preseason football. It's part of my job now, technically. Sorry, honey. Got to work. Got to work the weekend.
Podcasts. That's right. Stop. Got to be locked in. Plus Tom Brady's coming to town. Hey, your father's coming to town. Here we go. You're listening to the Zach Gelb show.
Well, this is something that I didn't see it going down this path, but here we go. We now have a roundtable as we march hot take Hickey to his own funeral as he's about to be in the permanent doghouse. So I brought in Tommy Lugauer, who is the producer of the number one afternoon show in New York, Cardin and Roberts.
And then Carlos Ortiz does a great job for us behind the scenes. And both of them are married. Now, Tommy, you've been married for for how long? I will be married for four years coming up here in September. Four years. And then how long were you dating your missus before getting married? About two years. So six years together.
Okay. And Carlos, we've been married for three years this past August. And how long have you known your significant? We're 14 years in.
Oh, wow. How old are you? I'm 37. You're 37?
I carry it well, don't I? Yeah, I thought you were like 26. Well, it's because I'm wearing a Mario jacket. I am much older than this jacket. That's very fair.
And we are in radio and there's a lot of people that are a lot older that act like they're 18 anyway. So here's the scenario, boys. And you tell me if Hickey's in the right or the wrong here. His girlfriend out of town this entire week. They just moved in together about five, six months ago.
New York City apartment. So, girlfriend out of town the entire week, Saturday, it's his fantasy football draft. No problem, right?
He goes and does this on Long Island and does the fantasy football draft, right? No problem. No problem. Zero. Okay. I'm in agreement.
Now, at night, you would think, okay, you go back, you see the missus, you maybe take her out for dinner, wine, dine, then you have a little fancy time in the bedroom. That's what you probably think would be going on. Hickey is not coming back to the city. He's staying at his parents' house on Long Island to watch Colts preseason football because he thinks this is an enormous Colts game.
What? His girlfriend, Tommy, is going to be furious, right? Isn't this an avoidable situation?
Very avoidable. What do you mean a huge Colts game? How is it a huge Colts game? The starters are playing. The bus starters are playing. The Colts are going to have to hot start this season.
This is the final chance to see what we got. It's preseason. There's a lot of question marks for this team. A lot of unproven players. Big friggin' deal.
You're going to see him play 45,000 times throughout the season. A Saturday night, that's how you're spending it? Hickey, I thought you were better than this, bro. It's the first half.
I thought you were cut from the Lugauer cloth. You wear maroon pants, floral shirts, you gel your hair, you're one of the few people around here that looks like they bathe, and then you're watching preseason football on a Saturday night. You can't be doing that, bro. And I get sports fans, all that stuff, you can't be doing that. If it was a regular season game?
Of course. In agreement, hey honey, I'm watching the game, tough luck, we'll hang out on Sunday, we'll get brunch, we'll spend all day together, if let's just say this was a Saturday night game. But we just got a tweet, and I think it's a great point from Mike B on Twitter, Hickey's wasting a mulligan. Like when you're in a relationship, you gotta know that sometimes you're going to have to sacrifice things. This is one of the times where if I was Hickey, I would say, babe, I'm missing the big game, and maybe she doesn't even know it's a big game or not, I want to spend time with you, and then you play it up a little bit into your advantage.
Go ahead, go ahead. The problem with what Hickey's facing right now is your priorities are way out of whack here. This is something that you save later down the road when there's a big season, regular season game.
You're not going to blow it on a preseason where you're going into the season 0-0 anyway. This doesn't count. And not only that, Ryan, and now we're all ganging up on Hickey.
This is awesome. This is like the view. How long have you been dating your girlfriend for? Four years, right? Four and a half years.
You know what's coming. Let's get engaged. If she's annoyed, the moment she gets annoyed, she's going to go right to the engagement conversation, in my opinion.
No doubt. I think, Hickey, this would be my best advice. You're probably past this by now. You have to set a precedent very early in a relationship, right? So whatever you do early on, you will be held accountable for that forever. So you have to make these decisions early on where you go, all right, honey, listen, this is the way it's going to be. Because like you said, they'll bring it up down the line.
And once you're engaged, once you're married, you're too far gone. You've got to think of it like a war, right? You've got to have battles, but ultimately you want to win the war, which is tough to do. That is what I'm doing. I have won the war, folks.
That is exactly what I'm doing. A war for a preseason? Cold bucks preseason. Guess who's watching? I have laid the ground rules.
I have said, look, I'm a psychopath. When it comes to sports, I'm going to watch a lot of games. She knows that.
She knows what she signed up for. I can't wait for Sunday when you try to walk back into your apartment and I could just envision it now, like you're on the sixth floor of this New York City apartment and you just see Hickey's clothes and all of his memorabilia just getting thrown at the window. You scumbag. How dare you? You piece of bleep. You chose Colts preseason football. My friends told me this wasn't even a big deal. I even seen me in a week.
You're a terrible, awful human being. I could see it now. We also got Sunday. Did Sunday just disappear off the calendar?
But this is avoidable. Your girlfriend's been away for an entire week. She's coming home. You have your fantasy football draft and then you go hang with your girlfriend, not watch Colts preseason football. We can do both. She can come out to the island. We'll hang and we'll go out and pair it up. Now she has to travel out to the island, hang out with you, and I'm sure she loves your parents, but your parents.
I'm sure she doesn't. Instead of some, jeez, instead of some one-on-one time with hot take Hickey. That's right. It's bad. That's no, it is bad.
I think over hyping, especially for anybody. I know they're listening to us in Paducah right now and they don't know what Long Island is. But let me explain to you is that it is impossible to get out there. The traffic is ridiculous. So now you're dragging this poor girl and you live in the city. So I presume you don't even have a car. I also live in the city.
I don't have a car. Same. Right. So it is. It is. But if you're driving Hickey on a car, no car. That's hell on earth. Yeah, it's hell on earth.
And not only that, Tommy, let me help you here. As someone that frequently goes to Long Island, it's not a holiday weekend. It's not a big weekend. There's been a lot of railroad construction on the LIRR that usually 60 minute train ride.
If you have to connect and all that could be two hours. It's funny. It's funny that you said that because I am going on to Maras's house. You know, produce a co-host this weekend on Saturday.
We're doing a like we have a group chat. So we're doing a barbecue out there. And I was texting my mom because they live out there on Long Island as well. And she said the Ronkonkoma line is down. So like basically you've got to take a train somewhere else. You've got to take Babylon. Oh bro, it's like the amazing race.
I mean, I don't know how the hell you get out there. So again, this is just, you should have just, I don't know if you could cook, but order in or do something. You should have just had the fantasy football draft because again, non-negotiable.
You've got to get 13 guys to agree on a date time. She should be able to understand that. But a freaking preseason game. Come on.
And not only that, Tommy brings up a great point. You could have got the best of both worlds. Babe, we'll order in.
Babe, I'll cook. And then you could watch on the couch with her the Colts preseason game. You could have done this. You could have treated it like background noise. There's still time.
This is the move, Hickey. You should have put on a movie with like Owen Wilson where he ends up with the girl that's way too hot for him. And then you put the Colts on the iPad. You got to listen to the game. You're like Evan. Evan Roberts, who does the show, is basically scoring the game. You don't have to worry about it.
It's a preseason game. So you could have put on a little bit of the iPad. I'm sure you're going to talk about it on the Ryan Hickey show 14 days later. So you've got to be aware of what's going on. But you put on a movie and then the Colts are on the little iPad or even on the phone.
And I think she would have accepted that, right? Here comes the thing. There's going to be a big Penn State game this year.
Where this is going to come back to bite you in the ass. You know, that's a good point. They're playing somebody good. You're going to think there's going to be a must-watch Penn State game when they suck. Sorry, Pat Craft, who was the athletic director at Temple. That's not the athletic director at Penn State.
I apologize. But there's going to be a game where that rat Manny Diaz is the defensive coordinator. And then the most overrated coach in college football, James Franklin, builds you up. And you're going to think it's going to be a big game. And you're not going to be able to watch it because your girlfriend's going to want to do something else. And you already prioritized a preseason game.
She will always remember Colts preseason. Yeah, that's bad. That's bad. Apple picking.
Get used to it. That's a no-go. I can promise you that right there. Hickey's going to be begging me to do ION football for eight hours on Sunday because he's going to do apple picking. This is a great intervention. You talk about setting precedents. Apple picking ain't happening.
Oh, it's happening, yeah. Pumpkin patch, sorry. By the way, if you want to date Hickey's girlfriend, 855-212-4CBS. Saturday night, she's just looking for a cheap date. She's looking for a pizza, maybe some wine. And then you got to leave after that because it is still Hickey's girlfriend. But who knows?
Maybe it does go to something. Hickey, for people that obviously can't see us right now, we are all looking at Hickey through the glass. I have Carlos to my right.
I have Tommy to my left. We're sitting down and we're all serious here. This is an intervention.
We should do this almost every week for Hickey. I feel like you need a couple of tips because this is rookie mistakes. Rookie. First of all, you guys already highlighted why I'm not coming back. It's impossible to get back to the city from Long Island.
I'm not making it back even if there were no cults preaching. Take an Uber. I'm cheap. I'm not taking an hour Uber to the city. You can take an Uber.
You know what? To save you here, I'll be your personal chauffeur. And I will drive you from Long Island to the city.
Now you have no excuse. Actually, I'm going to be in Atlantic City this weekend, so. I think I'm running a cash there.
I'm running a check there that I can't cash. It is the Zach Geldtschul on CBS Sports Radio. Carlos, Tommy, thank you very much for all that you do for this very fine network for Carlos and Tommy down the hall.
Hey, Tommy gets us pizza each and every week, so that's great. Happy to help. Thanks for having me on, bro. That's great.
There we go. Tommy Lugauer making his national CBS Sports Radio debut and Carlos Ortiz, he has done some work on this very fine radio program before, so. Hickey screwed. When I went to Carlos, by the way, during the break, and this is what started this conversation to have it continue on the air, I told Carlos the situation and I go, what do you think? And he looks at Hickey and he goes, what a scumbag. And then the next thing you know, you have Tommy, who heard the word scumbag, goes, well, what's the issue? What's the issue here at CBS Sports Radio?
Because people like drama in this office. And then Tommy goes, all right, let's just have a conversation about this on the air. We'll take a break when we come on back in five minutes. Head football coach of Baylor, Dave Aranda is going to be stopping by. I don't think I'm going to ask him about hot take Hickey's relationship, and maybe I should. But we will check in with the defending Big 12 champions and see if they could get that title once again and go back to back in 2022.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-02-01 12:32:08 / 2023-02-01 12:51:25 / 19