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February 21, 2021 1:08 am
This is another interview from our parenting series. Bill and Debra shared their story as the parents of 3 boys. They gave advice to young families on how each child needs specific parenting styles. They also discussed the loss of one of their boys who was a Salvation Army officer who went to glory while being the hands and feet of Jesus.
Series: The Highlight Reel
Hi this is breathing welcome to the Salvation Army's words of life is so broken that God will speak to where your you were the priceless pain now.
What's your were welcome back doors of life. I'm Bernie Dick and I'm sure we are so glad to hear a few weeks ago you heard an interview on parenting with Steve and Connie long in this episode were sharing another interview from that series with Bill and Deb remarkably newly retired. Lil and Deborah McAbee. That's right they were leaders here in the state of Georgia for the Salvation Army and they have now written off into the sunset so to speak, and we wish you well, Bill and Deborah. If you are enjoying this look back at previous episodes. We give God the glory and pray that you will join us next week on words of life. God bless you my girl run short of the Salvation Army. I would like to invite you to meet us on the holiness podcast which is a podcast each month where we do an in-depth Bible study on the subject of biblical witness. Please come and join us. Wherever you get your podcast.
That's the holiness podcast.
God bless you are first born and dropping a few drops you all sterilize it and you know all that if he brought you run it second comes, you drop a pacifier you rinse it off the third with Connie dropping his shirt, shoving back at you a bill markedly currently divisional commander, Salvation Army, great state Georgia. I'm Remarkably and I'm the director, divisional director, women's ministries and officer development for the Georgia division Al-Anon then married it will be coming hemi 40 3D all and we have three boys we have William and we have Matthew, who resides with the King of Kings. Now and we have Jeremy who lives here in Georgia is our boy's under authors are Shirley officers which is interesting that we didn't raise no now to the salvation I think we kind of agreed on that printer early storage we will be men of God of God that was in the Salvation Army rate but is interesting that all three of them ended up but do not follow him. Our footsteps are making their own footsteps and that was pretty important to us, but it was interesting to watch that our youngest son was a pilot for Delta Airlines and left very nice career. I was a little bit bummed out about that proud of it coming. We got some flight perks with all that cost us out of this appointment. You know they're doing all three boys have done very very well. We didn't finish becoming soldiers in the Army we never push for that when they knew when it was time if they wanted to. That was great and we would help them go towards that goal that we really never sat and talked to them about the Salvation Army important topic was, you have to be a man of God. There's a lot of expectations put on them last week so there were a lot of people expecting them to do things and we we had to tell them that it was a part of it was part of our family narrative that you gotta do what you do and we will love you and support you coming that goes without saying weathers part of faith I think is a child if they want off the straight and narrow, so to speak. We would love them unconditionally, no matter what. In the paragraph in the story and we tried to assure them of that and I think as a result of that, they made the wrong decision and they will say to people when they see will now think it's a sense of pride for them you're following in your parent's footsteps and now it's yeah really I am.
They'll say, but they know in their heart that they've made their own footsteps and the right to see they all three had had these such different personalities. I mean it. It's just incredible that they came from. From the same family because they're so different. But it's been wonderful to see how their uniqueness gets into their choice to be a salvation army officer discipline was different for all three and I could say to one. I'm not proud of you and that was just devastating that wishing one would be a lecture one you could put in the room and they would just create all kinds of things. Funny story. We would take things away from you can't play baseball would take her blood which we would take everything away and in our middle son Matt who is in heaven right now was unbelievable story about him and who he was. Turned out to be one. I remember one particular time we take away everything he had everything there was nothing left to take away from where he's looking at us like what what are you going to do now, so we decided in Scripture, the year of Jubilee where everything was forgiven.
So we decided and tried to make it scriptural to him were going to return everything that is the year of Jubilee is scriptural.
We gave him everything back only so we can start taking it away again so that did not that big of an impact is really last. He was a strong-willed child if I could go back and do it over again I would do things different. I think we did pretty well. There's no manual that comes with everything you learn a lot in being people of faith.
There is a lot that is given to us by the Holy Spirit who guides and helps in direction. I think when we look back at it we don't pretty well to talk to adult children. Now all three of them were built to have their own children, which is that's that's fun to watch but they're starting to say the things we used to say they're starting to talk about how important that was our conversations with adults with adult children who have their own teenage children has been quite quite rewarding and affirming that we did some things right now looking back at it being old and watching them now. I think one of the things that I learned and I think that I would say to parents of young children now is that they really did listen, I don't think they were listening to anything but now it's it's so this is such a warm feeling endeavor and I know when we visit them. You hear them saying some of the same things that we said to them, hear some of the principles of family TVs off during dinner. There's no TV, no phone setting that was our thing. You don't wear a hat in the house or all of these rules and things that we did as a family unit. You're starting to see those things now so I think my post children in my house. Learning is did did listen and the investment in them, comes back in the generations you know Scripture that says train up a child in the way that they should go when they're older will depart from the Nortel you has been a bit roses for us with our children. We we have gone through some incredibly deep waters of one child, our son Matt.
He wasn't born, he exploded into the world.
I mean this kid.
This kid came out looking for school running. He he was something else and he had trouble through school behaving hit attention, ADHD, attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity couldn't concentrate.
His IQ was off the chart. He just couldn't concentrate. And he practiced stand-up comedy in the classroom he got bored and he really did so, he became not a candidate for graduate high school graduation and that was devastating to us as a family because the education is important. That was quite difficult on us and the other two boys to watch to watch him go through that in the boys went through it as well because there were some disruption to our family so everything wasn't rosy. Everything was wonderful. It all makes sense.
In hindsight faith. Faith doesn't faith is absurd unless you're looking in retrospect. Faith does not make sense right now and if a parent is listening to this and going through what we went through. I think my encouragement, anybody that might be listening to us right now is that you you might be going through a very difficult Valley. You might be going through a terrible problem with children in behavior and expectations but we're where witnesses were testimonies in the voice right now is a testimony to the fact that they do here and they do listen well and the important lesson I think in all that was during all of that Valley Matt, in particular new will not like what you're doing and how your acting that we love you no matter what and I think if we're there respite. If where there safely/if we are there unconditional love. How then that will come back in the end to be a salvation piece the great ending to match story is that he was saved.
He accepted Christ and he went as far the other ways he did. Knowing he was an extreme, God is an evangelist. He became an evangelist. He was street below had a heart straight people. He did not have any breaks when it came to helping people. He he would work 24 seven. He would give away money out of his pocket and he went to heaven he he was working in the Hurricane Katrina and he had been there for couple of weeks and was exhausted and done all that work. He went home for three days and he was redeployed back to Texas, where the heat was just just if you remember just awful he work 24 seven. Even when he should've been taking time off he found a group of people, so he works so hard to help people. He became exhausted and dehydrated and had a brain aneurysm and he went to heaven with his boots on.
Sounds like a really sad story, but I will tell you when I go to heaven. I hope I got my boots on, because I'm afraid I'm one of the sitting doing a radio talkshow sitting behind my bigshot desk but the mat is a real hero to me.
He let a lot of people a lot of people came to Christ as result M so parent if you going through that story of Matt we can tell you all the negative things and how it embarrassed us and all the problems my Lord.
There are merely people today that rise up and call Matt Mark be blessed when I die and my boy speak at my funeral and if you were to ask know now that you and they would say there are three things that taught us not wasn't in these words. These words come later, but it it, we jokingly say now is always say yes ma'am to mama. That's everything about respect about respecting people. It's not just mom.
It's people that you come in contact with.
When they were younger elders respect euros that was important respect people in authority over you as they become leaders now to respect people who are around respecting other people respecting different opinions and different views is incredibly important that was the first thing is is always say yes ma'am to mama the second thing is never let 1/3 strike go by now they were all three baseball players, and if anything close. If the balls close to the plate you go down swinging is fine.
We will celebrate you go down swinging.
But if you just watch it go by if you blame the umpire that that was a not that was that was bad so never let 1/3 strike, go back to go down go down swinging in the third one was like too short to spend it with ugly people, which has nothing to do facial beauty, but to look for the beauty inside of people look for the beauty of integrity inside of people and for their relationships of the people just don't spend the time hanging around. Think of say that I certainly said to me while alive so I don't the Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping people with material and spiritual needs to become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army visit Salvation Army USA.org to offer your support and love to hear from you.
Email us radio USS.Salvation Army.org or call 1-800-229-9965 Titus PO Box 29972, Atlanta, GA 30359 tell us how we can help share prayer requests or share your testimony. Would love to use your story on here. You can also subscribe to our show on iTunes podcast store and surely give us a rating search for the Salvation Army's words of life. Follow us on social media for the latest episodes extended in abuse and more. And if you don't have a church home. We invite you to visit your local Salvation Army worship center will be glad to see you join us next time for the summer's armies