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November 10, 2019 1:00 am
As we continue our discussion on addiction, today, Aleata discusses recovery. Specifically, she offers advice on what the family of a recovering person can do to help. We are also joined, once again, by Rob and Heather Dolby as they discuss the church’s role in welcoming someone back into the community after treatment.
Series: HEADSPACE/ a series on mental health
Hi this is Bernie Dick and Lori Miller thanks for joining us and welcome back to the Salvation Army's wonderful words of life. Well, welcome back everybody were glad that you're here and I'm excited to share this series on mental health continue our discussion on addiction so powerful. Tomorrow is better instead yeah I big shout out to all friends, particularly here in the United States and around the world. You served your country's military, for the greater good, we thank you for your service.
According to the research and develop an Center for military health policy 20% of vets returning from Iraq or Afghanistan suffer from major depression and PTSD and one and four show signs of substance abuse. That's just shockingly think about is yeah I can imagine that 25% on any kind of substance abuse. That's a lot that's a lot to think about the impact on the veteran itself in the family of the veteran because you know I always think of veterans and in those who serve and I think that the families they leave behind in the mothers and fathers and their wives and children, and the impact that PTSD and addiction has on families is incredible. I cannot even imagine what that means.
If you know someone serving in the military or no for people that at least one of them is perhaps suffering from some sort of PTSD or mental health drama, absolutely. So show your love to our vets today into their families as we continue our discussion on addiction to discuss his life in recovery and once again were joined by Robin Heather Dolby as they share their testimony as they share their insight on how we can help those who are struggling with addiction. Capt. Rob will be with the Salvation Army here with Heather Heather survey and together in ministry.
We've been surveying and letting and working with people experiencing addiction combined 36 years, right we look young and fresh you know you know we've been talking about hope but also substances people use substances. That's the reality of addiction without alcohol. Whether that's drugs, toxic relationships, all kinds of things and those are substances, but were also talking about the substantive nature of hope that's the right word is hope is a substance but there's almost this feeling you know when you're journeying with someone who may be as a family member experiencing addiction that does it almost feel irresponsible, Satan will just pray. God is good to be faithful.
You know God is gonna come through me while they're watching this person suffer sometimes on the street. Horrible circumstances, but at the end of the day when you hear the stories that aren't just made up their lives being transformed often it's this this time were hope comes in when hope and love comes in on shame you know all these other things are cast away like you said hope is powerful is powerful. Anyone who has experienced addiction some kind. Interestingly, and math. This idea of God coming and people have like an experience that all of a sudden like going from your addiction being something you enjoy it like using and getting high like that for such a thrill but over time if were going to be honest, we become slaves to that and it's a life that leads us increasingly into darkness or disillusionment or depression and people feel like their lives are slipping away and they become more desperate and that this idea of there's no high like the most high is that he the God that created us light can set us free from that slavery and all the sudden we find ourselves found by him and life feels fresh and new, and so people can say you know what of any high felts. Lila's and my addiction that high quickly became allow because as a slave to it. So to be able to break free from that into something completely fresh and new. That is hope supernatural elves, even in recovery.
People talk about the pink cloud right which the they refer to the pink cloud is what you know your your first three weeks here. You're going to feel really good. But just wait, you know, until it all wears off from reality kinda kicks in, right, which is then it's good to be hard and then it's going to require a lot of work which listen recovery, even discipleship is not easy like the requires discipline.
It requires accountability things that your flesh naturally doesn't want to just to say but you know often is practitioners and mission. We get to say to people there's one thing we can promise you it's that not only are you love but you have an inherent worse because you're a child of God, you have hope that goes beyond the grave. Psalm 68 says that God takes the lonely and he sets them in the middle of the family and I love that that's totally my story. I know that's your story to and because that was our experience that we went from being on the outside of like life and family and acceptance and spiritual connection. Somebody chose to open the door to us and I think you really have a hard time understanding the fullness of what it is to be a child of God unless you understand the family of God, and even some of the church movements were seen today were society of the OpenTable right to be occasional maybe even some people call it messy church, you know, just get together with people even if they don't have it all together and and find a way to to make connections and share our testimony, share our Jesus story sure the word of God with people in those tangible ways arming a meal around the table is a beautiful gift being making the choice to say working to be a safe place for people to just show up and be who they really are so that there had to be like me and pretend for eight years out of fear. You know, even just from choosing to remember someone's name so that next time he sees a need to berate yeah I love talking last week, everyday society, remembering Sammy's name.
I mean, it's polite, but when somebody remembers your name because they think you're worth knowing.
But maybe even your own family will talk to you that he's huge and that again is not rocket science, and you don't have to be fancy and learned to remember someone's name. You just have to be intentional then we get into this place where you know community sometimes in his beautiful examples comes around support someone invest in someone. Sometimes people don't always get it right the first time ain't that the truth so sometimes what happens then with this communities come around a person invested. You know, you become invested in that person with that person in the community and then all of a sudden I what happens. One day they stop showing up or you know something happens and there's a relapse.
You know you and I been through a lot with helping people. We learned a lot of lessons we learned a lot from how people helped us in our story, but I believe I never go wrong when I'm trying to please the Lord. So I believe that the Lord moves in my heart and leads me a lease on my community or my family to help someone in a certain way, then I feel comfortable doing that even if that's not the time the person has their aha moment and everything changes for them because I remembered touch points along the way.
In my journey and I know you have some in yours where somebody did something that was extravagantly loving, extravagantly generous that touched us deeply, but it wasn't I changing moment. It wasn't like that spiritual breakthrough, but it contributed to that day that would come. So God uses everything, even if it doesn't happen the way I wanted when I wanted a like what you said you know your to bring more people into the circle trusted people and that's a good place to be of a pastor that you trust. You know of a small group leader that you can really trust you and justify one person essay just so you know I just need you to pray for me to pray for my son. There's a lot going on and just start there because it's not something that one person can handle is not something that you can fix for somebody I'm joined again this week by all dock in Susa coming to us from the Salvation Army in Washington DC to welcome back. Thank you for having me that you're here this week will talk about life in recovery will give you some highlights.
What are some things that we should know or hear about recovery that are important that we as human beings are creatures of habit and anything that takes or requires change in our life will take a process to you know in the field we call it the stages of change you know you have to first think about it that you want to change right you know you can associate it with anything losing way getting off drugs or anything like that.
You gotta I want to do it and then you have this process that I don't think I can do it so we caught a precontemplation stage and in you contemplated is where you put more thought.
Think I can do it on and so you move across this continuum until you get to a place where you actually take action, and so coming out of an alcohol alcoholism or drug abuse and moving towards recovery in life after recovery every day is the active choice and they teach you, dad, if the day is too large, then we need to think about it in the terms of I take it for this hour. If the hours to Lars Dan.
Let me take it minute by minute because it is sometimes a total requirement to change everything around you. You know if you've ever seen NA or AA meeting. One of the biggest things they tell you is that you now have to change the people you hung around so changing environments and things like that. So life and recovery can be difficult and so you need a really really strong support system and it doesn't have to be any particular person. It can be a sponsor that you've met, but just knowing that if you take it one day at a time and that we sometimes determined that success in life is a straight line, but is actually a very jagged goggles all over the place and so there will be those who will come out of recovery who come into recovery and it'll be okay and they have 20 years clean and then know be other instances where they have a day clean and then they relapse but is the process as long as we know that is a process that happens on that's the key that you take it one day, one hour, even if one minute at a time as you try to move forward and change your life as you said early consistency is the key. And so, setting up systems to avoid particular places helps an individual in recovery the individual who's in recovery has to find that point of gratitude and he could be looking at their past life experiences and episodes and saying guys I'm I'm still here and alive.
So finding that ability to have gratitude but still having life and breath in your body.
You might not be where you are aware, you will want to be but slow is the way that you need to go to make little changes end up being bigger changes and that's just not so for recovery is for mental health is for accepting any new change in in our life. But the key thing is that in recovery. You just have to take it one day at a time. You just take some perspective excellent perspective to have breath take a breath. The keep on going, keep on going all the time so the weather here. Thank you. Tell our listeners what your name means comps. A calm spirit. I hope that your called by all the other spirit, and I pray that you're enjoying the series on mental health. We hope you'll come back and join us on the deck show and got blush Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army visit Salvation Army USA.org to offer your support. We would love to hear from you. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 1-800-229-9965 or write us at PO Box 29972, Atlanta, GA 30359 20 contact us will send you our gift for the series is totally free for listeners like you, one per household, while supplies last. You can also subscribe to our show on iTunes or your favorite podcast store and be sure to give us a rating. Just search for wonderful words of life follow some social media for the latest episode extended interviews and more.
And if you don't have a church home. We invite you to visit your local Salvation Army warships are glad to see this is Bernie Dick inviting you to join us next time.
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