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Yeah. Hi from the Salvation Army, and you're listening to Words of Life.
Alright. These are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Welcome back to Words of Life. As parents, we spend a lot of time helping our kids succeed in school, but what about helping them thrive emotionally?
In today's episode, our panel discusses practical ways to build trust, encourage meaningful conversations, create space for fun, and support our children's mental and spiritual well-being. We pray this conversation encourages you and reminds you that some of the most important moments with our kids happen in the ordinary rhythms of everyday life.
So, last couple of weeks, we were certainly more focused on talking about how we support our kids achieving academically. But today, we certainly want to focus on how we're supporting our kids emotionally, how we're supporting their mental health. And I think we all agree that, you know, one of those ways is making sure that our kids know that we're an open door and we're always talking with them and listening. The first thing that comes to mind is Letting your kids Talk to you first, right? And being willing to just listen and sit with them in that before we have a solution or a response for them.
But I think it does have a lot to do with timing, to do with how are you engaging with them, right? Are you, you know, when are you asking those questions, letting your kids engage you? It is kind of like this cat and mouse game, right? Yeah. And it's so frustrating as a parent, but I think we said earlier that.
You know, when we continue and be consistent and keep asking, like, they will know that that door is open. As a youth leader, too, one of the questions that we like to ask our kids all the time is, show me by your face how your test went today. Because sometimes, one, like, it's funny and it kind of breaks down that barrier for your relationship with your students, too. Um, because sometimes they will give you the most out-of-the-world, like facial expressions. And some of them are good, some of them are funny, some of them are bad.
I'm going to write that one. Yeah, like it also helps you kind of just touch base with them throughout the week to say, like, How can I help you? Like, well, I'm praying your next test goes even better than that, or hope you do the same, or whatever, but it's a good. A fun question to ask.
Something that we established in our family early on when the kids were little is family dinner. We always took a minute to share a prayer request around the table, and then we would take turns praying for one another.
So, for us, it's really helped our kids know that they can come to us with anything. And it helps us all get on the same page. It helps them understand that we care, we care about what's happening in their lives. Teaches empathy, teaches empathy, you know, and it teaches our kids how to pray for one another for crying out loud. I mean, exactly.
I was gonna say, it models prayer. Yeah. My um My daughter, she has a counselor. She's been seeing for a few years now. And generally, just because of schedules lately, she's just been doing video chats with her.
But it's funny because I walk by her room while she's in one of these calls, and you'll just think she's on the phone with a girlfriend. And that means the world because it means that they have a relationship enough that she can open up when there's really hard struggles. And I know that. At some point during that conversation, it does get more meaningful and deep. But you don't just get there like that.
Um but also that as just another shout out to you know If your kid is needing help. counselors are just like amazing because they're actually trained in ways that you aren't. It doesn't mean you're failing as a parent. Right. It means that just they're kids and they're going to tell a counselor something that they probably don't feel comfortable telling you.
And that's just being a human yeah yeah and and i encourage parents i say there's no magic to what i'm doing Yeah. And you can do this as well. Sure, I have a different role than you do.
So I'm, you know, there's a different way of engaging, but you have even more credibility than I do. Like, you are the person that, you know, has. Influence and been a part of their lives. And so, um, I do encourage parents, I say, there's no magic to this, it really is just relationship building. But I think there is magic when, like, parents and counselors and teachers like all work together at the same time.
Oh, for sure. There is magic, yeah, like, there's no magic in what you're doing, but like, when we all invest in like a kid, yeah, I mean. Miracles happen, right? Like that's that's where the good I've never been more grateful for my the youth leaders at our at our church, our Salvation Army Church. Discipleship happens, yeah, but There's a deeper connection that my kids have had with their youth leaders.
I just appreciate that so, so much. And like you said, it takes a village, all of these things, all of these people influencing. Our kids is so important. One of the things that kind of comes to mind as I'm listening to all these conversations is. If we are not careful, our lives become so busy.
that these natural conversations Get crowded out. We as a family have been very proactive in saying We're not going to schedule every moment of the day. You're not going to you know, just on what go from one thing to the next. we're going to have unstructured time where we are going to just sit and talk. or play a game or laugh at each other or Watch a TV show together, whatever it might be.
we have to be very careful in our in our world that we don't become so busy that all the things that we're talking about that are so valuable Aren't going to naturally happen. You have to be intentional about creating a space where. You have to take performance and productivity and efficiency off the pedestal. And you have to create space for relationship, interpersonal, you know, just investment and just kind of being. Anyway, I think we could say that's biblical too, right?
Yeah, for sure, yeah. And so you'd be surprised at how many People, because we live in a culture and society that's just constantly pushing. And all the things are good, you know, like, yeah, we can say yes to a lot of things that are good. But It might not always be the best for this season of life, right? If you're trying to, hey, address anxiety in my kid or create, you know, they have such a high-performance perfectionism, right?
Like, okay, well, what are the spaces where they can just have relief? Are you creating that?
So you almost have to fight for it, yeah. Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Army's Words of Life. We're going to take a quick ad break, and we'll be right back. Have you ever gone through a season when God felt quiet? You pray, you wait, but nothing seems to change.
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Parenting isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Like, sometimes it's hard, and you have to have hard discussions and Sometimes it is sunshine and rainbows. Like there is joy to being a parent. There is joy seeing your kids do things and become the people that they are that maybe they've done things that they've never been able to do before. You've seen them deal with these hard topics and you've kind of made it to the other side now.
Finding room for those moments of joy in your family, like whether it's through family dinner or it's through playing games. And as a youth leader, I will always say that, you know, games are how we break down those walls. And I think the same thing is true with our families too, that we break down those walls of embarrassment and anxiety and stress and worry when we just play a game. I will come alive in a game of Uno, Dines.
Now it may not be the best version of me, but I will show you who I am when we play Uno. I will play a game. Maybe. But like, I think being able to play games and have fun with our kids and really just do life together, like that's. Mm-hmm.
That's where the magic happens. Like, that's. That's the beauty of being a parent. Yeah. I want my kid to know that I like them.
Yeah. I like spending time with them. Yeah. It's not. This is, you know, I'm, yes, I'm your mom, and yes, we have to enforce the things, but I also like spending time with you.
This new generation that's coming up, Gen Alpha, Gen Beta, one of those. Like, the studies are showing that I think because of COVID, like the biggest relationship that they have is their parents, and they actually enjoy being at home with your parents because they were so little during COVID that like now they're coming out. Yeah. And they would rather be with their family. They'd rather be with their parents than they would.
Talking about this very thing. Yeah, like, yes. It's beautiful to hear it, but also, like, really? You want to hang out with me too? You're like, there is a.
I like my personal space. I like my own free time and everything. And I think during the summer, there can be a moment where you're just like, You're still here. Is it August? But at the same time, I'm realizing it's like, I don't know, kids don't like go to their friend's house like we used to.
Like, they don't value it the same way. I think COVID's a lot of it. I think social media is a lot of it. They feel like they're already getting social time by like just chatting for a few minutes. But then the rest of the time is us.
And like by choice. Like she could go somewhere if she wanted. And so we need to value that. We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation. Uh We're going to take one more ad break and we'll be right back.
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Text ABIDE to 94878. That's ABIDE to 94878. Was there anything that like you really want to get across specifically, I think, before we close at least this chapter? the game nights, the fun, the conversations, the connecting. The phones can really be the biggest hurdle.
making that happen. This doesn't have to go on the podcast at all. We, our daughter's turning 15 in a couple of months, so she was the last person in her class to get one, really. That was what we chose to do, right? It's a choice that's hard, and it makes and we're just the unicorn in her group of friends.
But she's already told me that She sees how disconnected her her friends are.
So I do get that they can experience social stuff with the social media, but is it really the same thing? I don't think it is, right? And so it's so interesting. Like my other daughter doesn't have a phone yet. She's only 13.
She will go across the street and talk to our neighbors who are grown adults, but we have a relationship with them. And she comes back and says, I had such a great time talking to Kevin and Vanessa, right? But it it's just because It it's the easiest route is the route that our teens will will take. And so if there's a phone for them to scroll on, then that's the route that they're going to take. In the classroom, we now have a policy where my students have to put their phones up.
Now, granted, most of them put up a burner phone or whatever it is, but they put their phone up. But in his last few minutes of class, when We're about to transition, they can go grab it. But then it's crazy because all the engagement they had with each other, all of a sudden, boom, gone. Everyone's this, everyone's this, just and. And it's like a pin drop in there.
And it's just like.
Okay, maybe if it's just for a few minutes, it's not the end of the world, but I hate to see it because I'm like. I would still like to have a conversation with you. You know, I'd still like, and some of them do, some of them realize that they're okay, and they do have conversations with me. But it's just crazy how if they're allowed to get on the phone, that's what they're going to choose. It's like I don't know.
There's probably some experiment out there where these rats were still killing each other, even though they knew that it was bad. Whatever. We're the same way. There's our sound bite. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think.
Something that really stood out to me that I just want to encourage parents about is: you know, you're saying. Teens will take the easiest route.
Well, often, as parents, sometimes when we're just tired and busy, sometimes we take the easy route too. And sometimes, sometimes being a parent is hard. And sometimes to be the parent, you have to make the unpopular choice. I'm certain that both daughters, that has not always been met with, thank you for not getting me a phone yet.
Now looking back, your daughter's able to see what you can see as the parent, and you gave her such a gift of being able to just not already be so addicted at that age. The Salvation Army's mission, doing the most good, means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army. Visit salvationarmyusa.org to offer your support. You can subscribe to Words of Life on your favorite podcast store or visit SalvationArmysoundcast.org.
Join us next time for the Salvation Army's Words of Life. These are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Thanks so much for listening to Words of Life. We want to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the show.
Visit lifeeaudio.com, where you'll find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They have shows about prayer, Bible studying, parenting, and more. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time. Hi friend, are you stressed, maybe even worried about so many needs around you that you've forgotten you are worth taking care of too?
Well, I'm Bonnie Gray, the host of Breathe, the Stress Less podcast. I want to invite you to join me as I share practical tips based on science, inspired by God's word, to help you spark joy and restore God's peace and love to your soul. Subscribe now and go to lifeaudio.com. The Historical Jesus Podcast is the sweeping saga of the life and times of Galilean Jesus of Nazareth, as well as the faith, religion, and church founded to honor and disseminate his acts and teachings. Join me, Mark Vinette, on this fascinating journey through time, exploring the many great works of Christian theology, literature, architecture, music, and art inspired by the words and deeds of Jesus Christ.
