Life audio. Hi from the Salvation Army, and you're listening to Words of Life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. Welcome back to Words of Life.
Last week we started a new series with our new guest, Dr. Zach Clinton. Zach is an author, a podcaster, a counselor, and throughout this series, we really spend a good bit of time trying to encourage and speak to the men, the dads out there.
So, if there's someone in your life that you believe would be blessed by these conversations, please share these episodes with them. What do men in our society today struggle with? What are the pressures, temptations as just a man, even if they maybe don't have a relationship with God? I think of like multiple words that begin with the letter P. I like to teach in that way.
That's the pastoral heart inside of me, I think. Make it easy to remember. The first one that men are really struggling with, Chris. is pressure. pressure to perform.
Pressure to provide. Pressure to protect and more. And so there's a lot of men out there who just feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. And so that pressure. Then I think can bleed into what we would identify as preoccupation.
A lot of men struggle. You talk about like phones and more and technology. That then just pulls them away from the third P that guys really struggle with is people. Right, where you're very lonely. There was an old quote that talks about that we're really living in a loneliness epidemic in culture and society today, especially as men.
And we have to remember that if loneliness is the invisible illness of our day and age, that it's always the undiagnosed illnesses that are the most dangerous and deadly. And then I think that then pulls men specifically into different vices. One of the leading issues that I think men struggle with nowadays is pornography. And so when all of those different things, the pressures, Again, the phones are being preoccupied, the loss of people, and then obviously turning to other vices such as pornography and more, it leads to a disaster, and that's why I. I believe you're seeing such an uptick in anxiety, depression, addiction, suicidality, not just in the human population, but specifically as it relates to men.
And it's sad, man. There were some stats that were released last year that I came across where it talked about 25% of men suffer from a mental illness, 1,440 men. die by suicide every single day, and 77% of all suicides are completed by men alone. And so when you think about that, again, I don't say that insensitively. I say that because, man, that should break our hearts.
It should open our eyes and it should cause us to live life with urgency to get this message of hope and healing out there. One What spoke to me for sure as a man, just the loneliness part, finding guys who you have things in common with that you can open up to and share these struggles that you have to is so crucial. And I think it's just hard for us guys to make guy friends unless you're like put in a scenario in a small group where it's like, you know, mandated that you do this. I'd say, like, to our listeners, this is three guys that I think have all struggled with the same things that we're saying. Like, we're not saying this is what you men struggle with.
We're saying we men struggle with all of these things. Right. Hey, you're listening to the Salvation Army's Words of Life. We're going to take a quick ad break and we'll be right back. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal.
They include loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrive Ent, planning your finances is bigger than just money. We help you put your plans into motion and faith into action so you can do more for the ones in your heart. Because sometimes all you need to make a difference is someone to help you make it happen. ThriveEnt, where money means more.
Connect with us at ThriveEnt.com. Zaki talked about pressure that men face and Probably a year ago now at this time, life was just crazy. There's so many things back to back to back to back. I was just overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a homeowner while trying to be a good husband and a father and in work. I kept trying to solve everything, and I just found myself at a breaking point.
I was just like, I cannot do this. by myself anymore. Like I cannot carry all this. Like it is overwhelming. I had a friend.
To say, hey man, there's a prayer group on Thursday mornings. You should just go check it out. And If you know me, that's not really necessarily like something that I feel super comfortable doing, just going to a random group of strangers, but. That was a turning point for me in that journey because what I found in that prayer group, and it was a men's prayer group specifically. is just a bunch of people, a bunch of believers dealing with the same stuff.
Once I realized I'm not alone in this, God has put community into our lives. That was the turning point. Let me piggyback even off of what you guys are saying as it relates to the loneliness and the isolation and more. I was interviewing a guy named Justin Whitmell Early, and he has a book out there called Made for People. And in that book, he talks about how, from the beginning of time, when you think back to creation in the book of Genesis.
In creation, in those seven days, right? Obviously, the seventh day God rested, but the first six, God is creating all of these different things. And all he's saying is, it is good. It is good. It is good after each and every day.
When he creates man in the likeness of his own image, he says, and it is very good. But then you get to Genesis 2.18. And there's this like abrupt pause and it turns the other way. He says, and it is not good. The very first thing that God said was not good, and it is not good for man to be.
Alone. And this idea, then, you know, he kind of references how then he provides a helper who is suitable for Adam, which is then Eve, right? And it's kind of that first marriage covenant that is formed in the garden there in Genesis early on from the very beginning of time. But I think it's not just about marriage there. I think that idea is not good for a man to be alone also wraps into this idea of community, as both of you guys are saying, Chris and Chris.
And then this idea then of, hey, What does loneliness really mean? Justin defines it in a very unique way. A lot of us might identify loneliness as. You know, kind of staying inside, being that person who never goes out, who just kind of always sits on their couch all the time, who doesn't want to do anything with anyone. Let me tell you this: I've worked with a lot of.
Big name, high-profile pastors and professional athletes who have millions and millions of followers and fans, but they have no friends. That is what loneliness might look like. Justin defines it this way: somebody who used to have Friends before the transition, before the big job, before the promotion, before the marriage, before the kids, all of these types of things. And so, as men, like you guys are saying, we need to continually. Step up and be willing.
To push this ball down the field, to be bold, to be courageous, to ask for help. And to recognize that even in counseling, Two of the biggest skills I learned in counseling that are the most effective oftentimes are Normalizing? Helping people know that they're not alone in the midst of whatever fight they may be going through. That's a lie from the pits of hell that makes us feel sometimes that we are, though. And number two is self-disclosure.
If someone's having a hard time opening up, As a counselor, as a therapist, being willing to go there first. Hey, you know what? I can't speak to your pain. I know beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, pain is in the heart of the beholder, but something I can relate to is whatever it might be, because vulnerability breeds vulnerability. In the times that we live in, there's a real beatdown on men.
And we've heard, you know, this phrase, toxic masculinity, get thrown around. And, you know, that men are just porn addicts, they're bad dads, they're horrible husbands, they're abusers, womanizers, and more. And let me say this: this is something that we stand on here at Ignite, at AACC, and more. There is such a thing as toxic behavior. I've seen a lot of men.
And women as well make bad decisions. I've seen a lot of men create patterns in their lives that are toxic. Toxic behavior is one thing, but there's no such thing as toxic masculinity. There's nothing toxic. About being a man, especially when we understand what biblical masculinity really looks like.
And that's not just scriptural, that's actually statistical.
So, if we look at the stats here for a second, research shows. That when a dad is absent or disengaged from the lives of his children, that mental health challenges, anxiety, depression, addiction, suicidality rates, they all Skyrocketed or increased within a home again where the dad is not involved or engaged. Another thing is that. Their kind of identity development is actually stunted. Academic performance is stunted and diminished.
But the exact opposite happens when a dad or a man is actually in the life. And I would say, in a secure attachment, they're present, they're engaged in the lives of children. All of those mental health challenges begin to diminish. The academic performance enhances, the athletic performance enhances if you're interested in those things. But then, identity development and more, not just stunted.
Now they're actually beginning to happen in a much more rapid rate. Men. Matter, and I don't say that to put pressure on men, like, guys, you got to do all of this, you need just to put something else on your plate. That's not what I'm saying. I just want men to understand the significance of their presence.
Cause sometimes the greatest present you can offer your children, your community, other people is just simply, again, your physical, but more importantly, your emotional presence in their lives. Biblical masculinity summed up in four words: provider, protector, prophet, and priest. God calls men to be those four things. And provider, of course, we know what that looks like.
Sometimes we got to work hard, we got to use our hands, we have to provide. That's not just a pressure, that's a role and responsibility of what it looks like to be a man, active leader within the home, protector. Of course, we know what that means. We want to protect not just the physical health. the emotional health.
The spiritual health of our wives, of our children, and more. A prophet, someone who is speaking life into the lives of those that God has put in their path, someone that is loving on people with their words. Mark Batterson would say this: that words create worlds, not only from the beginning of time when God spoke the world into existence, but we too have the power of creating worlds with our words. Words of hope and healing are words of hurt. And so, what words are you putting in the lives of those around you?
And then, obviously, priest, somebody who is living out the gospel each and every day as an apprentice and disciple of Jesus Christ. The one thing the church in the Western world does really good, we place an emphasis on what Jesus said. We can sit here, I'm quoting verses, right? We can do all of that. We have a head knowledge.
But we don't have the heart knowledge and the application side of things. We need to place more of an emphasis not on what Jesus said. But on the way that Jesus lived. As we, as men, if we did that more, just think about the tide and how that would begin to shift in culture and society today.
So, again, provider, protector. Prophets and priests. That's what I think sums up biblical masculinity. Love that. We pray that you're enjoying and being blessed by this conversation.
We're gonna take one more ad break and we'll be right back. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrive Ent, planning your finances is bigger than just money. We help you put your plans into motion and faith into action so you can do more for the ones in your heart.
Because sometimes all you need to make a difference is someone to help you make it happen. Thriveent, where money means more. Connect with us at ThriveEnt.com. We recognize that there are men historically who have done terrible things. And As gentle, loving, Christian, godly men.
You know, there was a time where it felt like if I was meeting a new person or something, it's almost like you have to, you know, apologize for being a man first and be like, no, no, no, no, I'm not this or that. But I think getting back to a place where we just live out what it looks like to be the man that we know we're being called to be. And I think we can just kind of watch the tide shift and we don't have to apologize for just being a man. Like you said, There's nothing toxic about being a man, and we are needed. I'm going to speak to the other stepdads out there.
When my wife and I first got together, my stepdaughter at the time she was 10. I didn't really know where I fit in yet. I was the body sort of But as far as like a parental figure, I was kind of just like the extra person, I thought. And over time There were several moments that I saw my daughter. She would approach me and Kind of test the boundaries where she would ask to do something that she knew her mom would say no to.
And I finally felt confident enough to be the person that said, No, we don't need to do that. we can make a better decision. And where I was afraid to be that guy before I realized that She needed that. She needed the man in her life that was going to be the protector, not just of the outside world, but also be like, no, I'm going to continue to help shape you as the woman God wants to create you to be. And it was a moment for me that I was.
Embracing my role as a man in this household that God has blessed me with. Absolutely, man. I appreciate you bringing that up. It's important to recognize, again, every man. Serves a role.
I'll give you guys one more point. Hey, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you so much for listening. Please join us next week as we continue this conversation with Dr. Zach Clinton.
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These are the words, these are the words of These are the words, these are the words, these are the words of life. These are the words of life. Thanks so much for listening to Words of Life. We want to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the show. Visit lifeeaudio.com where you'll find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network.
They have shows about prayer, Bible studying, parenting, and more. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time. At Thrive Ent, planning your finances is bigger than money. It's a way to support the people, causes, and community you love because helping you put your faith into action is at the heart of what we do.
Thriveant, where money means more. Connect with us at Thriveant.com. Hey, I'm Jeff King, the president of persecution.org and the host of Faith Under Fire. Where we examine threats to the faith and the transformative spiritual lessons of the persecuted church. If you're a deep Christian looking for life-changing content or just trying to make sense of political attacks on the faith, come listen to Faith.com.
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