If that individual you're interested in is stingy and selfish, don't expect generosity to follow the wedding ceremony. So watch how they use money. Do they hoard what they have? Do they spend money only on themselves?
Frankly, you could say they're cheap. Here's Boaz, he's showing genuine care and rare generosity. In fact, James says over in chapter one that the pure religion is to care for what it is. In the book of Ruth, Boaz loved Ruth and wanted to be the one to redeem her. However, there was another man who had the right to do that ahead of Boaz. Boaz, being a man of great honor, navigated that situation in a godly way. Today on Wisdom for the Heart, we're learning some important and practical lessons about marriage from Ruth and Boaz.
We're specifically looking at characteristics of a suitable mate. Last time, Stephen began a lesson called Seven Reasons to Say I Do. It comes from Stephen's exposition through the book of Ruth, and now here's the rest of this lesson. Go back to Ruth, chapter three. We've already learned, by the way, if you've been with us in this study, that the relationship of Boaz with God was living.
It was active. In the days of judges when everybody did that which is right in their own eyes, Boaz lived with this sense of spiritual awareness. You find him in chapter two where he is asking for the blessing of God on his employees, and we talked about how it would be so interesting to have a boss that comes to work, walks by your desk, and says, how are you doing with God today?
Wouldn't that be wonderful? To have someone who cared spiritually about you in the workplace would be certainly unique, and his employees were no different in understanding the uniqueness of him. When he first met Ruth, the guy starts praying. He asks that she would find shelter under the wings of God.
I imagine right then and there she is saying, wow, that would be a guy I would be interested in. And now at the threshing floor, after the love of his life, he's already fallen in love with her, asks him to become her kinsman redeemer, which means, as you know, the goel, to be the one to marry her, buy up her late husband's estate, pay off all of her family debts. The first thing Boaz said in verse 10 of chapter three is in response, may you be blessed of the Lord my daughter. And I said last time that Hebrew word is simply one word, yee-haw, basically is what he meant. God bless you, Ruth, is what he said. This wasn't an act.
It really wasn't the best foot forward. This was life for him. He loved God, and God was always on his lips. He had an active living, walking, breathing relationship with God. This is foundational, men and women.
This is where you begin. Why? Because unless the Lord builds the house, you labor in vain to build it on your own. Psalm 127 one. In fact, I am so convinced of that being foundational. Every couple will have challenges and difficulties, and whenever I'm involved in a wedding, it's always very moving to me to come to that dedication prayer. And I'm always close to tears because I realize as I'm holding their hands, they have their hands clasped and we're having that dedication prayer. I have no idea what they're going to face in their lives, no idea how high the mountain peaks are going to be and how deep the valleys are going to be. But here they stand at the threshold of life, and they must stand there united in their faith to Christ.
It will be tested. Understanding that we're sinners, we're progressing, we make great statements of faith, and we have times of doubt. But there is that underlying relationship with the grace of God, and it is foundational. Another character quality in this list would be humility. These two attributes don't necessarily show up in the same body. It's possible to be spiritually minded and proud.
Look at verse 10 of chapter 3. Boaz says to her, now as he's responding to her proposal, you have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now that's a long way of saying, I can't believe you chose me.
I can't believe you want me. When he refers here to her first kindness, he's referring to the way she's treated Naomi. That kindness is known by us all. That first kindness, wow, that was amazing to see the kind of commitment you made to this woman, your mother-in-law, and he's referencing her care for Naomi. But then he says, oh, but your last kindness is greater than your first. What's the last kindness that you want me?
You are so kind to want to marry me. His humility is obvious. We've watched it, haven't we? We've watched him care for his employees. We've watched him communicate concern for those around him. Now he's got his sleeves rolled up and he's out here at the threshing floor.
He's even spending the night out there. He could have bought people to do that for him. The truth is, in his culture, he was near the top of the food chain. He had every reason to be proud instead of humble. And yet every time he opens his mouth, the quality of humility comes out. Guys, as you study this along with me, I hope that with me you are challenged already by this man. Another character quality you might want to add to your list is the word priority. In other words, know what matters most. And Ruth evidently does as well. That's clear too.
Look at verse 11. Boaz goes on to say, listen, the reason I'm so pleased with your proposal, and I want to say yes, is because all of my people in the city know that you are a woman of beauty. No, all of my people in the city know that you are a woman of rare talent. No. All of the people in my city know that you are a woman of class. No. All of the people in my city know that you are a woman of personal charm.
No. All of the people in my city know know that you are a woman of excellence. Your text may read noble character.
That's what you're known for. She evidently had priorities as well. The same word is translated virtuous in Proverbs chapter 31. By the way, lest you think I'll go to Proverbs 31 and start a sermon out of there, it's also the same word used in chapter two of Boaz translated wealth.
I think unfortunately it's the same word, hayil. This is a person of moral character and strength. You hear a lot of sermons about the virtuous woman.
Too bad you don't hear sermons on the virtuous man. Same word is used for both of them. Here is then the making of a good match. They are both committed to the priority of godly living. They were incompatible in so many ways except character and that became the footings dug deep in the soil of their hearts that allowed them to build the foundation for a home and the haven throughout their generation. Let me give you a fourth marker in this godly match. Honesty.
This is where now in the text, Boaz will drop an atomic bomb which could explode the mood and the moment. Look at verse 12. He says, I am a close relative.
However, there is a relative closer than I. Now the law of the goel, the law of the kinsman redeemer allowed the closest relative to the woman to redeem her if he was available. He would marry her by the estate of her husband and they would have children as God would bless them and the children would be given at least the firstborn the name of the deceased husband which would allow his name to continue on. And the one that had the right to redeem the widow was the closest one to her in her family. And so here they are on the threshing floor. Ruth has said, I want you to be my goel, my kinsman redeemer.
Boaz is thrilled. They love each other and then he says, wait, there's somebody else more closely related to you than me. Okay, so?
No, not so, stop. There is a great deal of anguish in those words. I imagine Ruth beginning to cry. Did she know? Did Naomi tell her? Did Naomi withhold that little piece of information knowing that Ruth might not have gone had she known it? Did Ruth already know and go to the threshing floor any way to inform Boaz that she really wanted him to redeem her according to the Old Testament provision of the kinsman redeemer, which I would throw my head in on that one.
We don't know for sure. What we do know is that after Boaz has told her that he effectively loves her and would be thrilled to marry her, he tells her what he doesn't know she might know. He tells her the truth, even though it could ruin everything. Listen, Ruth, I would love to redeem you as your closest relative, but I'm not your closest relative. I hate to tell you this. There's somebody older than I am and thus first in line who has the right to redeem you.
And I thought about this for a while. You know, in today's culture, Boaz would have gotten a lawyer to sue the other guy for his rights. He would have found a counselor or a psychologist to tell him to follow his heart, do whatever made him happy, and loving Ruth is wonderful and God created love and would certainly want him to be happy. So don't worry about the law.
Leave it be. Boaz would have found a pastor to tell him that the laws of kinsman redeemer were for a different context and culture. And the laws of the kinsman redeemer don't apply to him.
And besides, they're centuries old and they are no longer relevant. He could have found some friends to tell him, look Boaz, listen, you're not getting any younger. You love her. She loves you. These are the days of the judges where everybody does what is right in their own eyes and if it's right for you, then man, listen, it's all right. Get over your Victorian guilt trip and go for it.
Any of that sound familiar? That's what would happen today had Boaz and Ruth lived. Instead, Boaz simply says, Ruth, I can't because it's not right.
And I hate to tell you this, but I gotta be honest and tell you there's someone closer in line. Let me give you a fifth word that follows on the heels of this. It is the word accountability.
Spirituality, humility, priority, honesty, accountability. As I read and reread and reread again this text, I found it hard to imagine any man in Boaz's sandals saying what he's about to say, verse 13. Remain this night and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good, let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you as the Lord lives. Now, did I just read what I thought I just read? If he will redeem you, good, let him redeem you.
Is Boaz some kind of concrete block? No emotion, made out of granite, no feelings? Hey, if that other guy wants you, I'm fine with that, I guess.
Not on your life. We've already read his first response. He's thrilled, he is so moved that she would want him. He's so excited, he loves her too. He just happens to be a man of character to the point that he submits his emotions to the laws of God and allows the law of God to put a boundary on his heart.
This matter has to be settled legally. Ancient Jewish commentary, by the way, on this scene called the Midrash, taught that the other kinsman was Naomi's brother-in-law, which would have been an uncle to Boaz. So at this point, his mind is obviously racing, and we're gonna see that proven as he lies there that night. He's holding himself in check, but he's accountable to the word of God. And his mind is racing about that moment when he's gonna see his uncle. We don't know his name, his uncle get out of town, uncle move to another village, or whatever his name happens to be.
He's gonna face him, he's gonna very cleverly approach him, as we'll see. But let me just stop for a moment here a little longer and say this, especially to my single friends. Find someone who is willing to set aside their emotions and their personal feelings in order to do what is right.
And you are well on your way to finding a man or woman worthy of saying, I do. I don't know what the context will be. You'll see it. It may happen where their heart is kept by the word of God. Where they will set aside their emotion in order to do what is right. Maybe it's responding to a boss. Maybe it's responding to some difficulty where you know how they feel and yet they're guarded in their response based on a commitment to the word of God. Boaz says, look, we know what the law says and we're gonna follow the law.
It reminded me of this incident, this little seven year old girl who obviously had her emotions well under control, much like Boaz here. An eight year old boy in her Sunday school class at church asked her to marry him and she said, I can't. He protested, well, why not? And she said, well, my daddy married my mommy, my grandpa married my grandma and all my uncles married my aunts so we can't get married because we're not related.
Not good. I mean, we gotta do what's right. We're not related. We can't get married. Do what's right.
Here's something though that's easy to overlook. Family relation or not. There is nothing binding upon Boaz or Ruth to surrender to the laws of Kinsman Redeemer. They could have married, they could have sent a note to that other man who didn't care anyway, no big deal, he didn't want her, but they didn't have to follow the law and again, this is the times of the judges. You do whatever's right, but it mattered. In fact, since Ruth more than likely knew about the other relative, she is also willing, as we see her here, to abide by whatever the law of God allowed, nothing less and nothing more.
Let me break this down even more simply. Boaz would rather remain single and lose the love of his life than not follow God's design. He didn't have to. For him, it wasn't Ruth or someone else, it was Ruth or nobody else. He had already thought it through. What is remarkable about this individual is that instead of coming up with loopholes to the covenant of God, he was strategizing on how to approach his uncle.
There's another word that comes to mind, number six, it's the word purity. Look at verse 13, the latter part. Boaz said, lie down until morning. Lie where?
Verse 14. So she lay at his feet until morning. Now we have already dealt with this discussion, this issue, but let's go back again for a moment. Make no mistake here, Boaz might have taken advantage of her. She has already expressed her love to him.
He has expressed his love to her. There isn't anything binding them they wouldn't be looked down on. They could do whatever they wanted.
I mean, what more would you need? But no advantage was taken and no solicitation offered. And I couldn't help but just think of one word, purity.
And their culture hadn't bought into it because everyone was doing what was right in their own eyes. Let me give a practical word here. And I want to be sensitive, I'm in a mixed audience, but let me just say this to every single woman. If a man demands your body before he declares his vows, his name is not worth taking. In simple terms, throw him back in the lake. Keep fishing.
I want to put her right down there where you can't miss it. You fishermen caught it, I know, keep fishing. And let me say this to single men.
If a woman uses her body to manipulate your heart, you have little reason to trust her heart. What you have here in Bethlehem this night are two sinners who happen to be highly committed to God. Here you have two people who've quietly pledged their love and they've chosen to wait in purity to see what God would do next. Let me quickly give you one more word.
Number seven, the word generosity came to mind. In verse 15, in fact, look there. He says to her, give me the cloak that is on you and hold it, she held it. He measured six measures of barley and laid it on her. Then she went into the city and when she came to her mother-in-law, she said, how did it go, my daughter? And she told her all that the man had done for her. She said, these six measures of barley he gave to me for he said, do not go to your mother-in-law empty handed. Is he a wise man or what?
Wow. By the way, he had every reason to keep his money, to keep his grain, but Boaz was sensitive to the needs of Ruth and Naomi. And this amount of grain, by the way, would last about two weeks. So Boaz is thinking, that's about all I need before you're mine, Lord willing, and I can take care of you.
So he gives her two weeks to take care of herself and to take care of Naomi. Listen, if that individual you're interested in is stingy and selfish, don't expect generosity to follow the wedding ceremony. So watch how they use money. Do they hoard what they have? Do they spend money only on themselves? Now, I'm not talking about careful stewardship. I'm talking about being stingy.
Frankly, you could say they're cheap. That's an ancient Hebrew word. But here is Boaz, he's showing genuine care and rare generosity, and in fact, James says over in chapter one that the pure religion is to care for widows. Now, obviously, he loved one of them, made it a lot easier.
But he was demonstrating not just care for her, but care for Naomi. Well, there's a checklist for you. It's not in any way comprehensive. Maybe it'll get you started in the right direction. Spirituality, humility, priority, honesty, accountability, purity, and generosity. Those are observations from a life marked by character.
Friends, it doesn't matter how you met that guy or that girl online or in real life. Begin with conversion, move to character, and then no matter how many compatibilities you have or you don't have, with the word of God sort of serving as a rudder for your heart in the sea of emotion, you will be able to navigate, be able to sail through in a God-honoring journey. Doesn't mean that the water's gonna be smooth.
It may be very rough. He might be thrown out of the boat a few times. But according to his will, which is what you desire, which you are pursuing, you just might dock at the altar where you will commit your heart and your life to this love of your heart and life and commit to a marriage that you trust and desire to glorify Christ and advance the gospel and illustrate Christ's love for his church, create a haven and a relationship together in the midst of a perverted world. And if God gives you children to raise a generation to live for and to love Jesus Christ, who still to this day happens to be calling a bride to himself as our kinsman redeemer. That was a lesson called Seven Reasons to Say I Do. It comes from Steven Davies' teaching series through the Book of Ruth. We have three more lessons to go in this series and we'll bring you those in the days ahead. But before we go today, you might want to check out the book of Ruth series, which is a series that's available in the book of Ruth.
It's a series that's available in the book of Ruth. But before we go today, you might know someone who's contemplating marriage and would benefit from hearing this message. Actually, any person who's not yet married should consider the seven principles we've seen today. I think it would be highly beneficial if you were to share this message with that person. There are several ways you can do that.
To get started, go to wisdomonline.org. We've posted this message on that website. You can type the message title into the search bar and you'll find it. You can also navigate to the message library and open the book of Ruth. You'll find the full-length message there. It's available for you to listen online or you can download and read Steven's sermon manuscript. We don't have CDs of individual messages, but we do have CD sets for each series.
So if you want this series on CD, that's available as well. But again, anyone who's not yet married would benefit from hearing this message. Seven reasons to say I do. Be sure and share it. I wanna remind you about our app. I encourage you to install that app to your phone. That app contains the audio and the transcript of each of these daily Bible messages. We also make available the archive of Steven's Bible teaching ministry with the full-length sermons arranged by Book of the Bible. You can follow along in our daily Bible reading plan and more.
The Wisdom International app will work with your smartphone, your tablet, or a smart TV. It's free to install and use, and it's a great companion for your personal Bible study. In addition to producing these daily Bible lessons, we also publish a magazine. Each issue features a specific topic related to the Christian life. In the past, we've explored topics such as a literal six-day creation, the importance of thankfulness, how to study the scriptures, what can we learn from the life of Jonah, how can we face trials and difficulties in a way that honors God. Each issue also includes a devotional guide for that month.
Steven's son, Seth, writes devotionals that are theologically rich and filled with practical insight for your life. We send Heart to Heart magazine to all of our wisdom partners, but we'd be happy to send you the next three issues if you'd like to see it for yourself. It's our gift to you, just for you taking the time to introduce yourself. You can sign up for it on our website, or you can call us today. Our number is 866-48-BIBLE. That's 866-482-4253. We'd love to talk with you, get to know you, and introduce you to this resource, Heart to Heart magazine. Call today, then join us next time for more wisdom for the heart. ... You
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