How We Discipline the Unrepentant, Part 1

What John means here is that Diatrophes is openly disregarding apostolic authority, which is not a good idea when the apostles' teaching is directing the church. An apostle shows up who says, this is the way we're supposed to live, act, and believe.

Very, very significant. If I decided in front of you to say, you know what, I really don't like that particular page and I just ripped it out and said, we're not going to follow that, what would you do? You would run, right?

You'd run and you should. That's what Diatrophes had effectively done. I got a letter from the apostle, John, I don't like it. Even though we don't have true apostles today, we do have God's Word, which speaks with apostolic authority, with God's authority. That means that when God's Word gives us a command, it's binding upon us.

We must obey. But what do we do when people who claim to be Christians and are members of a church openly disregard the Bible? Here on Wisdom for the Heart, we're working our way through a series on the church. Today, we come to one of the more difficult issues a church needs to deal with, the issue of church discipline. What is church discipline?

When is it used? How do we balance love for a person with biblical concern for that person's sin? Here's Stephen Davey with a lesson called, How We Discipline the Unrepentant. In one of his books, I can't remember which one, I remember Chuck Swindoll writing about some children in his neighborhood who'd worked long and hard on their little cardboard hideout. This was a place where they would meet together and play together, talk, solve the world's problems. And they decided they needed some rules for those who would join.

And they came up with three of them. The first one was, nobody act big. The second was, nobody act small. The third, everybody act medium. Isn't that good?

That's great. In fact, it reminds me of what Paul wrote to the believers in Rome where he said this, do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Romans 12, 16. Don't be wise in your own opinion. It's interesting that only two biblical writers use that phrase in all of the Bible.

One is the apostle Paul and the other is King Solomon. Solomon put it this way. Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than in him.

Proverbs 26, 12. And that would be because he's unaccountable. In his self-deceived state, he can't be taught because he will not be taught. He's beyond correction, beyond rebuke.

He's beyond counsel. He's beyond discipling and he's really moving toward the discipline of God. Have you ever thought about the fact that the word discipline and the word discipling come from the same root word? There are two activities really that lead us in and toward maturity. One activity, discipling, is a time of challenging and correcting a willing individual. Discipline is a time of challenging and correcting an unwilling individual. Both activities are commanded in scripture.

The difference is really determined by who is willing and who is not. As we work through our promises that we're making as an assembly, we have a couple of Sundays left here where we'll deal with this issue. One of the critically important promises is a heavy subject.

It relates to the subject of discipline. And this is how the elder team is wording this particular promise. It goes this way. We promise, if you can put it on the screen here, to welcome accountability to elders and members of the assembly through biblical discipline and discipleship. Now what I'm going to do, and I only want to spend one Sunday on this subject.

This could be several. I'm going to do it in one. And what that means is I'm going to go long. So just settle in. Lunch is overrated. Forget it.

Just chew on some mints or whatever you got your neighbors have. I'm going to drop in on a number of passages and you can see some of the references attached to this particular promise. And we sort of loaded this one up because this may be new to people and they may need to do some study.

It may be not so new to you. To the church in Galatia, Paul records this interesting encounter where he confronts the apostle Peter. The apostle Peter is acting inconsistently, which means apostles are people and people can sin. And Peter was sinning. Paul writes this. But when Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face because he stood condemned.

How so? Well, prior to the coming of certain men from James, that is the church in Jerusalem, Peter used to eat with the Gentiles, the Gentile believers. But when they came, those Jewish church leaders, he began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the circumcision that is fearing his reputation with those Jewish leaders. And even Barnabas was carried away by this hypocrisy. So here you have Paul saying, I confronted Peter for his hypocrisy.

Kind of an interesting study all of itself. That's Galatians 2, 11 to 21. So here he is confronted to his face and Peter evidently straightened up and a greater division among the believers was averted. Paul also writes to the church in Corinth to literally dismiss an unrepentant man from the church. He writes in chapter five, it is actually reported among you that there's immorality that someone has his father's wife.

In other words, somebody in the church was sexually involved with his stepmother. Paul writes, and you have become arrogant. You meaning the church body, you have become arrogant and have not mourned instead in order that the one who had done this deed, obviously unrepentant in it, might be removed from your midst. First Corinthians five. Paul also writes to Titus this command. I think this would be given to the leadership, the elders. Titus is to appoint elders and he tells Titus to do this, reject, that is effectively excommunicate a divisive man after a first and second warning.

You don't even get three, it's two. You warn him, he's dividing the body in some way and he doesn't stop. You warn him again and he doesn't stop. And then you refuse him access to the flock. Why do you refuse him access to the flock? Because that's what he wants. He wants access to the flock so he can divide them.

And this is quick. It is short in its treatment and the flock is ultimately spared to the Ephesian church. Paul wrote, be subject that is be accountable to one another. Ephesians five, 21. There is a mutual accountability that takes place in the body. This isn't just for elders.

This is for every member to hold one another accountable. In Romans 15 verse 14, Paul adds that we are to admonish one another. Nuthatine, admonish, gives us our word nuthetic, which is used for nuthetic counseling.

You might have heard it used in that context. This is the word nutatine or nuthetic means that you warn and instruct and encourage someone to change their conduct. To the Philippian church, Paul sort of adds this spirit about which you do this, this attitude. He says this, do nothing, do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than yourself. So the assembly is actually called a council and encourage and correct one another, but it's with an attitude of love with truth, truthfully loving them, challenging, confronting an attitude that says, you know, this person that I am challenging is actually more important to the church than I am.

With that attitude, so much of it can be done correctly. This, by the way, is the very issue that's about to destroy this little tiny house church in the first century. We don't know much about it. What we do know is that there is a member, a prominent member who is no longer accountable, no longer willing to be discipled. He is above it. He had he he views himself as more important than anyone else.

And he's now in need of open confrontation. John the Apostle writes a letter to this church and he doesn't send it to the church at large. He sends it to a specific man by the name of Gaius, another leader in the church.

And I'll tell you why in a minute, but let's go to that little letter. It's called Third John. The Apostle John wrote several books, the Gospel of John, First John, Second John, Third John and the Book of Revelation. This particular letter, Third John, is often overlooked.

A tiny letter, yet freighted with implications as it relates to confrontation. What John is going to do, and I'll kind of set the stage here, he's going to he's going to point his finger at this man who is out of line and he's going to imply that unless he straightens up, that when he comes, there will be a confrontation face to face like Paul with Peter. The problem is this man named Diotrephes. Notice verse nine.

Let's jump there. I wrote something to the church, but Diotrephes who loves to be first among them does not accept what we say. Now that's interesting on a number of layers. Verse nine effectively implies that another letter was written earlier, which by the way, we don't have. God in his preservation didn't choose to allow it to be preserved. It seems to be implied by John that it went missing. And it seems to point back to Diotrephes who may very well have intercepted it and destroyed it.

I've already written to you about some of these things and that letter was discarded. So I'm writing you again is basically what he's saying. And notice he gets right to the problem. He names Diotrephes and then writes, he loves to be first among them. Compound word, it combines philos for deep affection and protos first or priority. In other words, he's saying that Diotrephes has a deep affection for being first.

That's a bad thing, by the way. And he uses the present tense to indicate that Diotrephes never lets up. He never slacks off. He's always all about that. That matters more to him than anything. And so his opinions are going to become engraved and stone and followed to the letters.

I'll show you in a moment. And anybody who dares to challenge him is in deep trouble. But the root of this, John takes the mask off, is pride. But the question before we go any further is the obvious. Why is the church cowering, cowering before this man?

Why isn't anybody standing up to him? Well, again, remember, this is a little church. How many of you came to Colonial from a little church where you knew everybody? Yes. Now, how intimidating are troubles and problems in that church compared to a large church like this?

They're a lot bigger, aren't they? You know everything. You know everybody. A lot of personality involved, a lot of difficulty involved in confronting somebody in the church, certainly a prominent leader like Diotrephes. And I think that they were intimidated. He may very well, and it seems, and I'll point out a couple of clues, he may very well have been intimidating. He may have been physically commandeering, physically overbearing.

There's a word I'll show you in a moment that refers to physical violence. He was obviously the kind of guy that would, you'd be missing your head before you knew to swallow. He's just that kind of guy. There's a really interesting clue in his name. The name Diotrephes is a Greek name, which means Zeus reared. In other words, cared for, nurtured by Zeus. New Testament scholars have done a wonderful job in tracking out the fact that this name was primarily reserved for Greek nobility.

It was used by noble, well-connected, wealthy families. A number of New Testament authors believe that he was more than likely a member of the Greek aristocracy, and he heard the gospel, evidently professed faith. He's now in the church, and because of who he is, because of perhaps his wealth, or maybe his personality or charisma or whatever it might be, his physical dominance, he just kind of heads to the front, and by the way, that's the way he likes it, at the front of the line. He loves this.

He loves to be first. Now, he adds this additional danger, if you'll notice at verse 10, the middle part, he is unjustly accusing us with wicked words. Well, let me back up here. Look at the end of verse 9. I skipped ahead to another page. I'm not going to go that fast.

Let me slow down. Look at the end of verse 9. He does not accept what we say. Now, evidently, this implies, even to the point of discarding something John had said or written earlier, what John means here is that diatrophes is openly disregarding apostolic authority, which is not a good idea when the apostles' teaching is directing the church. They're not necessarily turning to the book of 1 Corinthians. They're not necessarily turning to 1 John. An apostle shows up, or a representative of the apostolic community who says, this is the way we're supposed to live, act, and believe.

Very, very significant. If I decided in front of you to say, you know what, I really don't like that particular page, and I just ripped it out and said, we're not going to follow that, what would you do? You would run, right?

Right? You'd run, and you should. That's what diatrophes had effectively done. Well, I got a letter from the apostle, John, I don't like it, so we're going to get rid of it. The church is in grave danger for anyone who disregards scripture, and he is violating the apostolic authority.

His ears are closed, his mind is effectively unteachable. When you get to this point, of course, now you know it's almost a no-win situation. I mean, you might win ultimately, but a lot of casualties are going to occur. And that's because of what other scripture says. Maybe you're old enough in the faith to know this is true, you've seen it. Perhaps where Solomon put it this way, if you rebuke a scoffer, he will hate you. But if you rebuke a wise man, he will love you.

So diatrophes is already arrived at this point where he's obviously scoffing apostolic authority. So anybody who challenges him, guess what? He's going to hate them.

Anybody who calls him up short, he's going to despise them. And if I could turn this proverb around positively, it's interesting to me that it's telling us, if you rebuke a scoffer, he'll hate you. If you rebuke a wise man, he'll love you. The one of the marks of a wise individual is not that he knows more, but that he's willing to be taught more.

Wisdom equals teachability, even if the truth challenges who you are and what you do. Now, let's go to this other danger I mentioned in verse 10. He is unjustly accusing us with wicked words. In other words, it simply wasn't enough to ignore John's authority. Jesus is wickedly accusing John.

John is gracious. He says, us. He's accusing us. What that really means is he's accusing John. And he is attempting to assassinate John's character. One commentator wrote at this point, this is all too common a ploy for those who are seeking to gain prominence.

They unjustly accuse those in leadership. Now, apparently, the church members were too afraid or too intimidated to stand up to diatrophes even when he accused John of wicked things. John didn't tell us what they were.

Love to have heard one or two or three things, right? Didn't tell us. Just wicked words. By the way, John uses that word wicked five times in his letters, and they always relate to the activity of the devil. And trust me, nobody in this little house church would have missed that connection if they had had access to his other letters because of the Greek language. John is effectively telling the church that the devil is behind diatrophes.

Diatrophes might think he's working independently or he's working on his own. And John says not the devil's behind him, motivating him to divide and destroy. And notice further in the middle part of verse 10, and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren. What that means is that diatrophes is refusing to offer hospitality to missionaries, pastors, apostolic community representatives, pastor teachers, evangelists.

Diatrophes would have seen these men as a threat to his stranglehold on this little house church. He doesn't want another leader evaluating him. He doesn't want somebody from the outside to see what he's doing. And so they come into town and he basically says, keep your bags packed, you're not sticking around here. So he's violating the rules of Christian hospitality. He's really denying them shelter and food as well as hindering the progress of the word of God. So he's personally inhospitable. And this guy is a mess. He needs to be confronted.

But even that wasn't enough. There's one more thing I'm going to point out about him as he tries to rip this church apart. Look at verse 10 again. And he forbids those who desire to do so, that is show hospitality to the visitors, and puts them out of the church. In other words, anybody who shows hospitality to another pastor or apostolic representative or evangelist, diatrophes comes on court, comes unglued. I mean, pity the woman in the assembly who offers a traveling missionary a casserole, or a couple that didn't get the memo and then says, we got a spare room, why don't you stay with us? They're in trouble. If diatrophes finds out you did that, he's going to kick you out of the church.

So get your mind around the irony of this, this little letter, what does it say? Diatrophes is practicing church discipline on people for doing the right thing. The people who are doing the right thing are being dismissed. And the guy doing the wrong thing is allowed to stay. Have you ever seen that happen, maybe in the church you came from where that unrepentant sinner isn't disciplined and the people that really ought to stay end up leaving? And the people that ought to leave stay?

I'm not referring to you having stayed, by the way, and you're here at 11. You've seen it happen, haven't you? The casualties often become the godly individuals who end up leaving.

So if I could put this in a sentence, here's what's happening. Diatrophes has successfully hijacked this house church. And John the apostle is sending a message that has timeless implications to us in the 21st century, there's going to be some excommunicating taking place. But it isn't going to be the couple that offered a casserole or their spare room. It's going to be this man who loves to be in front. It's going to be this man whose heart is proud, whose mind is unteachable, whose mouth is saying disgraceful things, whose spirit is inhospitable, and whose leadership at this point is utterly unbiblical. John pledges in verse 10 that since the deeds of diatrophes are public knowledge, he's basically going to have a public exposure before the assembly. There's going to be a call, obviously, we know from other passages and he would be consistent with the other apostles, there's going to be a call for repentance and there's going to be conversation and exhortation and time and effort and blood and sweat and tears. And if he refuses, when John arrives, diatrophes is going to be removed. Now, I would love to have a fourth epistle of John to find out what happened. We don't have one.

We just have three that God has preserved for us. But I can't help but think of how many churches today are hijacked in a similar fashion. The church at large refuses to deal with unrepentant sinners and they become intimidated and fearful and they cower instead. So I received a few days ago just another email from another elder in another church in another state who writes, we have a prominent man in our church who has been involved in immorality and he won't step down from leadership and he's taking the church, this little church, through the agony and demanding people take sides and side with him and that we're paralyzed by moral indecision and what do I do?

What do I do? Now, some would say that it isn't loving to privately or certainly publicly expose anybody. Well, John just exposed diatrophes. Did you get that?

It's pretty public. The opposite is actually true. It's actually unloving to put your blinders on and let somebody self-destruct, especially another brother or sister in the assembly. And I've used this illustration before, but if you walk past your neighbor's house, it's two o'clock in the morning, you can't sleep. You're walking a dog and you see flames licking up his living room curtains and you know there's a big fire and there's trouble and you've got a choice. What are you going to do?

You're going to go bang on the door and yell and jump up and down and call 911 and maybe break a window or whatever you got to do to wake them up. Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable for them to stand in the street in their pajamas. It's going to be tough to hear the bad news that your house is on fire. It's not going to be comfortable. It's going to be awkward. It's going to be difficult.

In fact, life's going to change. But you know that's the right thing to do. Paul wrote to the Galatians, brethren, if a man is ensnared, if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore them. That involves the confronting and the rebuking and the correcting and ultimately the restoring and the reconciling. Galatians chapter 6 verse 1, you who are spiritual do that. He didn't say you who don't like the guy, go after him. Or you who like to stick your nose in other people's business, this is a job for you.

Now you who are spiritually minded do this. Others would say that the exposure of unrepentant sinners causes church problems. Can I say it briefly? It does.

It really does. And the smaller the church, the more trouble it brings. There's more that we need to learn about this topic of church discipline.

We're going to stop here for today and we'll pick this back up on tomorrow's broadcast. This is Wisdom for the Heart with Steven Davey. Steven's working through a series on the church called Upon This Rock. Today's lesson was part one of a message called How We Discipline the Unrepentant. If the topic of church discipline is something that you'd like to know more about, Steven wrote a book called In Pursuit of Prodigals.

In that book he goes into far more detail, so I encourage you to pick up a copy. It's an important resource for how to wisely and lovingly restore those who are caught up in sin. You'll find In Pursuit of Prodigals on our website, which is wisdomonline.org. If you prefer, we can help you over the phone. Call us at 866-48-bible or 866-482-4253. And please, join us tomorrow for more wisdom for the heart. Thank you.