With so many warnings about immorality and sexual sin. Do you wonder if the Bible has anything good to say about sex? Today, on Turning Point, Dr. David Jeremiah offers proof that the answer is yes. With a look at the role of sexuality in a satisfying and godly marriage.
From powerful principles from Proverbs, here's David with the conclusion of power up your marriage. Proverbs for partners. And you know, the Bible doesn't skip over the things that we feel are too delicate to discuss. The Bible just spells it out and talks about it. The issue of infidelity and the issue of good and bad marriages.
The Bible speaks about that, and it speaks about it in the book of Proverbs, which we are studying right now. The book of Proverbs are a collection of the wise sayings of Solomon. This is not the normal Bible book. It's different. It's unique.
It's special. And it's a very wonderful book to make a part of your life. And today we're going to finish up our discussion of Proverbs for partners. Tomorrow, we'll talk about Proverbs for parents. Oh, yeah, there's stuff in this book about being a good parent, too.
And we've collected those Proverbs together, and we'll talk about them tomorrow. If you don't have the study guide for this series, you can get the study guide and the CD package by going to davidjeremiah.org. There you will find on display the resources for this particular series, and you want to get them and share them in your small group or even just for your own benefit to reassess all of this for your life. Thank you so much for being a part of the study of Proverbs. And now let's go to part two of Proverbs for Partners.
Yeah. The book of Proverbs has some interesting concepts about how you have congeniality at home. Make sure you have the right perspective. I see godly men today doing things that I've never seen them do before. In the last year, I think there have been four or five men who have come to me and said to me, I was up for a promotion.
It meant moving my family to a place I didn't like the spiritual environment. I love what's going on here. My kids are in the Christian school. We have a wonderful relationship. I turned down the promotion.
I don't know what it's going to mean to my career, but I know this is what God wanted me to do, and I'm going to put Him first and see what happens. Amen. That's what we're talking about. the right perspective about money and life. Then Proverbs has some information about the righteous practices of husband and wife.
Proverbs 11, 29 says, He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind, and the fool will be a servant to the wise of heart. In other words, the one who mismanages his own house will see all that he has blown away, and he'll have nothing left in the end. Here's an interesting and vivid proverb. Proverbs 11:22 says, As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.
Okay. Here's what the proverb says: As beautiful as that ring may be on a lovely woman, If the woman has no discretion, you might as well put the ring in the nose of a swine. of a pig. Isn't that an awful thought, an awful picture?
Well, so is a woman without discretion. That's the proverb. Here's one that's a bit more positive than that. Proverbs 12:4: An excellent wife. is the crown of her husband.
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Let's talk for a couple of minutes about the responses of love and grace between a husband and a wife. Proverbs 11, 16 says, A gracious woman retains honor. Proverbs 15, 1 says, A soft answer Turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger.
That will short-circuit any arguments you have in your home. What is the tendency when someone yells at us or screams at us? What do we want to do? Scream back. You answer softly and see what happens.
It takes all the wind out of their sails. It cools the whole thing down. And it brings peace where there was Frustration. And then Here's a beautiful proverb. Listen carefully.
Proverbs 24, 26. He who gives the right answer. Kisses the lips. Hmm. Did you see that when you were reading through this book?
He who gives the right answer kisses the lips. How easy it is in relationships at home not to give the right answer. Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to color the truth or to shade things in our favor? And the Bible says that when we relate to one another and we give the right answer, it has the same effect as a kiss on the lips. What a beautiful picture of relationships.
at home between the husband and the wife.
Now, those are some of the things that will help you to have love and grace at home. But let me take A moment and give you a list of things that will hinder. And ladies, I'm not picking on you, I'm just reading what the scripture says. And before this series is over, this is going to be just as hard on all of us and just as helpful to all of us, I pray, as some of the things that seem to pop out here and there. But did you know how many times in the book of Proverbs this thought comes out?
Watch carefully. Proverbs 19, 13b. The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. Proverbs 21, 9. Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21, 19. Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. Yeah. Proverbs 25, 24: It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 27, 15, and 16: A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Whoever restrains her restrains the wind. And grasps oil with his right hand. In other words, it's hard to do. Did you know that the meaning of the word contentious is nagging?
So, ladies, I've never said this before in this church. Just don't do that. Just don't do that. The Bible Spends five verses in one book to tell you that that's not a good thing to do. Don't always be on his case.
Get on his team. Get off his back. And the same thing could be said for men because you know men can nag just as easily as can women. There's an old Arab proverb that goes like this. Three things make a house intolerable.
The leaking through of rain, a wife snagging, and bugs. That's not very good company, is it? Sven and Hulda were a Scandinavian couple. They were Christians. They sang in the choir.
They were at Sunday school every Sunday. They had prayer at every meal. They went to all the church functions, but they just could not get along. They both nagged at each other all the time. At home, it was terrible.
bickering and complaining and fussing. After both of them had devotions one morning, separately, of course. Hilda said to Spen, You know, Spen, I've been thinking. I've got the answer to this hopeless problem we've been having. with each other.
I think we should pray for the Lord to take one of us home to be with Him. And then I will go live with my sister. That's the principle of cordiality. Get along with each other. You know, it takes work to get along in a marriage.
That's what Proverbs is saying. And everybody has to work at it. Nobody can be proud. You have to be humble. And if nothing will humble you, marriage will, won't it?
Make you aware of all of the shortcomings in your own life. And hopefully, God has given you a gracious partner who will help you work through those things so you can go on to be a better person. God meant marriage to make each person better. and to make the relationship one of rejoicing and joy.
So we've talked about the spirituality of the marriage and the fidelity of it and the congeniality of it. But here in the book of Proverbs, there is one verse that speaks very powerfully about the sexuality of marriage. And I'm going to speak plainly here. But I trust with dignity To describe what is often missed when Christians talk about marriage. Four Here in the book of Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 19, we read.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times and always be enraptured with her love. And the word enraptured there sometimes is translated by the word intoxicated. Always be intoxicated. with her love. This verse describes love in marriage, and the Word of God makes it very clear that physical love and sexual love in marriage are to be brought to a very high level among Christians.
There was a time when speaking about these things in public was taboo. They were never mentioned as though they were immoral or in some way dirty. But God elevates married love to the highest order, and so should we. And the Bible says in the book of Hebrews that marriage is honorable among all. And the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Sometimes we preach so much about sexual sin that we never come back around and talk about what the Word of God tells us sexuality is all about. You know, God made us the way we are. God made marriage for the purpose. of three things. Procreation.
Protection. and pleasure. We all know that We get married so that we can have children. If we didn't believe that, just think about it. None of us would be here.
The Bible says in Genesis chapter 3, to the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain shall you bring forth children, and your desire shall be toward your husband, and he shall rule over you. Children. As the result of the marriage relationship.
Sometimes, as I hear Christian people talk, and whenever I see things that are written about this, I get the impression they think that's the only purpose for sexuality. to have kids. And some people are fulfilling the mandate of the book of Genesis with great. Ardor. But you know there's another purpose for sexuality.
And that is for protection. After describing the joys of married love in chapter 5, Solomon writes in verse 20. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? Here's the point he's making. If you are enraptured and intoxicated with the woman who is at home, with the man who is at home, then you will not be tempted to be so intoxicated with someone outside of the relationship.
So build a strong magnet at home in your relationship with each other, and that is the greatest protection you have for the sanctity of your home. Over in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we have some very strong admonition to couples. And listen carefully, husband and wife, to this word. 1 Corinthians 7, 4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.
And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. And the early part of the verse says: Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The Bible says that sexuality The relationship between a man and a woman in marriage, the intimate relationship of sex, is that which God has given to us, and it is not optional in a marriage relationship, for the husband doesn't have the power of his body, but his wife does, and the wife doesn't have the power of her body, but the husband does. And then notice what it says in verses 8 and 9 of 1 Corinthians chapter 7. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am.
Paul is speaking, and he was single. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.
Now, listen carefully. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Your relationship at home. Your intimate relationship with each other, husbands and wives, is the greatest protection you have. for the security and the fidelity and the sanctity of your marriage.
Don't use it as a tool for manipulation. Don't use it to get your own way. Remember what God says in His Word. I said it's for Procreation. And it's for protection.
But here's where a lot of Christians don't understand. The Bible says it's for pleasure. I have to be careful here that I Stay with the word.
So let me just stay with the word. Proverbs 5 and verse 19. Let me read it again. as a loving deer and a graceful doe. Let her breast satisfy you, pleasure you at all times, and always be intoxicated with her love.
Now, this is Old Testament language. The doe. has a graceful beauty in her face and form. and it's often used in the poetry of the Bible. For the beauty of a woman.
Now, we wouldn't say that today. You wouldn't walk up to your girlfriend and say, Your face is like a dough. I mean, you wouldn't say that. But in biblical times, that was a way to describe beauty. Most of us city folks wouldn't know what the face of a doe looked like if it jumped right out to us.
But In this passage, the word breasts is a word for the imagery of affection. And so these words from Proverbs tell us that there is to be pleasure between a husband and his wife in the intimate relationship that they sustain at home. And if you want a commentary on it, let me just introduce you briefly to one other book in the Old Testament that probably most of you haven't spent a lot of time reading. Also written by the man Solomon. It's called The Song of Solomon.
Now I want to tell you just a little bit about this book so you'll understand what I'm going to read here in a moment. Actually, the name for this book is The Song of Songs. That's what its real title is. According to the first verse of chapter 1 of the Song of Solomon, this is one of the 1,005 songs that Solomon composed, and this perhaps is the best of them all because it's called the Song of Songs. This is the best song.
If we take this book at face value and interpret it in its normal sense, Then we realize that this is the recounting of Solomon's courtship and his marriage. to a Shulamite woman of unknown origin. It is included in the Bible to demonstrate God's intention for the romance and loveliness in marriage. The most precious of human relationships. It stands alongside the other classic scriptures which speak of love and marriage.
In this book of poems, Solomon shares the words. that passed between himself and the woman that he loves. These are intimate words shared by a husband with his wife. and then by the wife to her husband.
So turn in your Bibles to Song of Solomon chapter four. And verses 1 through 5. And listen to this. This is in the Bible. Behold, You are fair, my love.
Behold, you are fair. You have doves' eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats. Again, we need the translation. I mean, I probably have seen somebody that I might describe that way, but not in the Old Testament way.
Your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing, and every one of which bears twins. None is barren among them. Your lips are like the strand of scarlet. and your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate. Your neck is like the Tower of David built for an armory. on which hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies. Verse 7.
You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.
Solomon in the words of the Old Testament. telling his wife how sexually attractive she is and how much he loves her.
Well, not to be outdone. She speaks to him.
Now, guys. Just ask yourself, what would happen? If your wife Shared these words with you at home. Listen now. From the fifth chapter.
And the tenth verse. My beloved is white and ruddy. Chief among ten thousand. His head is like the finest gold. His locks are wavy and black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves by the rivers of water washed with milk. and fitly set, His cheeks are like a bed of spices. Banks of scented herbs, his lips are lilies dripping liquid myrrh. His hands are rods of gold set with burl. Here's one I like.
His body is carved ivory. He's ripped. Inlaid with sapphires. Listen to this, men. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of fine gold.
Whoa! His countenance is like Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet. Yes, he's altogether lovely, this my beloved, and this my friend. O daughters of Jerusalem.
Mm-hmm. I told my wife to pray for me today that I would not do anything I shouldn't do or say anything I shouldn't say. I just want you to know. We, as Christians, ought to have this understanding better than anyone else. Amen?
God has given to us the wonderful privilege of marriage. When it is experienced in the covenant of the marriage vows, there is nothing this side of heaven that is more beautiful and wonderful and exciting and pleasurable than the way of a man with his maiden. No wonder when God wanted to give an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church, he could find no relationship that would express intimacy and joy and love that was any better than the relationship of a husband and his wife. And so the book of Proverbs tells us to enjoy the wife of our youth, the husband of our youth. and make this the happiness of our home.
Because God will honor it. And God will cause us to have long and faithful relationships. and we can beat the statistics. That everybody quotes to us all of the time. I was reading.
A book by Billy Graham. And he was talking in this book about the failure rate of marriages. And he was saying, That Marriages are failing between one out of two and one out of three. And unfortunately, even among Christians, The rates are way too high. But then he said something that I'll never forget, and I want to share this with you, and I want to make this a challenge to all of us who are married here: to me and Donna, and to all of you, and your husbands and wives.
He said, you can take The failure rates From one to three. And take them from one to four hundred if you will do three things. How would you like to Take the rate of failure in marriage as it relates to you and move it out of the one to three ratio and take it to one out of 400. All you gotta do is three things. Here they are.
Number one. Worship regularly together as a couple. come to church together, worship together as a couple. That's the first one. That may be the easiest of the three.
Here's the second one. Read the Bible together regularly. as a couple. When I talk to Christians, I know how hard that is with our schedules. We're going every which way, but You know, if you really thought about the fact that it was going to protect your marriage to a 400 to 1 ratio, wouldn't you want to do it?
Find some way, even if it's just for a few moments, to read your Bibles together as a couple. And of course, the third one is the hardest of all. Pray together as a couple. And Dr. Graham said that if you will do those three things, You can take your marriage out of the ratio of one to three failure and put it into the ratio of one out of every 400.
And why wouldn't we want to do that? I challenge you as couples. Hear the word of God. Listen to what God says to you. You can have a great marriage and a marriage filled with joy, but protect that marriage with regular attendance at worship.
And come together as much as you can and sit together. We've lost the art of sitting together as families. We're so splintered up, it even affects us on Sunday. And then read the Bible together, even if it's just a chapter out of a devotional, something that you can share together, and then pray together. And man, I want to tell you something: praying together is the hardest thing for us.
A lot easier for a wife who longs for a husband to pray with her, but it's hard for a husband to do it because somehow prayer is the declaration of our dependence, and most of us don't like to declare that we're dependent at all. But what a joy it can be when you pray. When you pray together as a couple. And what a wonderful thing it can be to know I've put my marriage in this safe house. of prayer and worship and the word of God.
Amen. Amen. Say, friends, we are very excited about the resource that we have selected for the month of August. In the midst of all of the discussion of Israel, all of the other things that are going on in this country where anti-Semitism is raising its ugly head, how vitally important it is for Christians to know what the Bible does say about Israel and our role of response to Israel. One thing we know for sure: we're to pray for the peace of Israel, but oh, the Bible is so full of material to help us know what our attitude should be toward this little nation in the Mideast.
I've written about it in the book, God's Heart for Israel, and why it should have a place in your heart, too. Cheers for the asking. When you send your gift this month, ask for the book and we'll send it right to you. Thank you. Today's message originated from Shadow Mountain Community Church and senior pastor Dr.
David Jeremiah. Drop us a note to let us know how God is using this ministry in your life. Right to Turning Point, PO Box 3838, San Diego, California, 92163. Visiting our website at davidjeremiah.org/slash radio. That's davidjeremiah.org slash radio or by calling 800-947-1993.
Ask for your copy of David's new book, God's Heart for Israel. It's yours for a gift of any amount. You can also stream more than 1,200 of Dr. Jeremiah's messages on demand on any screen, on our streaming service TurningPoint Plus. For a monthly gift of any amount, visit TurningPointPlus.org for details.
This is David Michael Jeremiah. Join us tomorrow as we continue Powerful Principles from Proverbs on Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. I'm going to use a bottle of the same method.
