Is God Punishing You

Oh, it's good to be live back with you today. We missed you yesterday.

We weren't live, but we are today. And the question today, it's a tough one. Have you ever thought, have you ever thought that God was punishing you? Or maybe you saw somebody going through a lot and you're like, is God punishing them? When have you felt that way? We would love for you to call and share that story. Or maybe, you know, what would you say to that person that asked you that, you know? Actually, I had my wife ask me that not too many days ago. Like, certain things go wrong in your life and you begin to wonder, is this what's going on? Is God punishing me for something?

866-348-7884. And, you know, we've had her on before. Emily Curtis is the author of Hope in the Morning, and that's M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G. And, you know, there is. There's so much, you know, blessed are those who mourn.

But sometimes it just keeps coming and coming and coming, as certainly Job experienced. And, Emily, your own life story here recently, for the listeners, you know, you would kind of wonder, is God, you know, what's going on here? So can you kind of share what's happened here in the last? Yeah.

So my parents were visiting California to visit my family. Is it not working right now? Yeah, I'm not. Grayson, you got her?

She's on mic three? All right, so your parents were visiting. Now we still don't have the—you might want to go get Carmen or somebody if you don't—yeah, so I'll talk for a minute as we try to get that microphone working. So, again, I'm hoping you have a story.

866-348-7884. You know, maybe have a friend like I do, right, that you saw, oh my goodness, just this week, their 14-year-old daughter diagnosed with bone cancer, sitting there at Brenner's Hospital, right? And all of a sudden they're having to make really hard chemotherapy choices. A 14-year-old in pain and all these kind of things, you know, you see these things happening.

You know, the theological question you can't help but ask is, you know, God, how does such evil exist in the presence of such good? And, you know, what do you say to parents like that and how can you push into that? We would love to hear your story. 866-348-7884. 866-348-7884. So, fortunately, we got some folks in the studio now, I mean in the production booth, so Emily, why don't you try again and see if we get some audio.

It doesn't sound like it. Let me try another mic just to see if we can get this going. So, Emily, try that.

That's mic two. Okay. This one seems to be working, yes? All right.

All right. So, back in September, my parents went to California to visit family and my dad had what he thought was kidney stone pain and so he ended up going to the ER to get some pain medication because, you know, it was pretty severe pain, but he ended up, he ended up going to the ER to get pain medication and they diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer and this was on September 10th. And my husband and I, we were also expecting our fifth child, a little boy, and we went in on September 27th for just a routine 13-week ultrasound and found out that he had no heartbeat. So, on October 1st, I ended up having to have a surgery to deliver our son and then my dad's sickness just got progressively worse. There was nothing really you can do.

You know, with pancreatic cancer, there's very little that you can do and the survivability rates are not good. And so, he ended up losing his battle with cancer on October 19th and so he had 39 days from the day of his diagnosis to the day of his death and then most recently, my husband and I found out in late November that we were expecting again, unexpectedly expecting, and we carried that baby for about nine weeks and then went in again and there was no heartbeat again. And so, it's just, it's been one thing after another after another and also in that, my grandfather had a massive stroke and you know, it's just, it really has been, it's felt like our job season is what we've been calling it and that's kind of, that's what we've been facing. And this last one couldn't be hardly fresher, didn't it happen like last week?

Last week, yeah. Last week and you know, some of the stories that go along with that just want to tear your heart out. We would love to hear yours, 866-348-7884 is the number to call in and share. You know, what would you say as you've heard some of those things and the wonderful thing about Emily's book is it's stories of people that have been through things like this and the things that people said that were helpful and some of the things that were said that weren't helpful, right?

And so, you know, it's an opportunity for all of us to really talk about really hard subject today and we would certainly love to hear that. You know, one of the stories as I heard that just tugged at my heart, it just did, was you know, the day, right, that of the first ultrasound for James, the little baby, you guys had gone out and bought clothes. Yeah, yeah, so we, my dad, like I said, he got diagnosed in California and as soon as he got diagnosed, they made, you know, they made quicker arrangements to come back home to North Carolina and my dad had asked my husband and I, please don't tell the children, I want to be the one to tell the kids and the reason is because he loved the Lord and he wanted to tell the kids the hope that he had in the Lord and he said they need to hear it from me. And so that was a hard thing to keep that private too for, you know, a week and to mourn without sharing that with our children. But the day that he told the kids, we ended up having a gender reveal party at my parents' house and we found out that it was a little boy and so my mom and I had said, you know, let's go celebrate and buy some baby clothes.

So we did, we had bags of baby clothes waiting for this little life, we were so excited to welcome. But wait till you hear how a friend and neighbor came to the rescue in that situation but we want to hear, we really do and I think, just think of all the people you could encourage by calling us 866-348-7884, we'll be right back. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live! Today's question, have you ever thought, have you ever thought that God was punishing you? What would you say, you know, if somebody, you know, they said, oh, you're a Christian, you know, I feel like I'm going through this and this. You know, is God punishing me?

What would you say to that person? I would love to hear your story or your answer, 866-348-7884, 866-344-TRUTH. I want to remind everybody that this, the show only airs for the first half hour in certain markets and so if you want to hear the whole show, you want to hear more stories and more what happens and maybe what the answers would be, you just get the podcast later at Truth Network or you can go on Facebook and watch the live stream or YouTube.

All those are available, Robbie Dilmore, YouTube, whatever you want to do there. But when we were talking with Emily Curtis, you know, the author of Hope in the Morning and certainly, you know, she's had a tough season. Actually, the second book coming up won't be long but we were talking about this friend, right? That when you had all these baby clothes on your hand and here came your friend to the rescue.

Can you tell the story of what somebody does that really comes alongside of you? Yeah, so she actually is one of the authors also in Hope in the Morning and she had a baby that was born weighing only 12 ounces and by God's grace, that little girl just turned 13 years old this past December but she lives very close to us and her mom was also a widow left with five young children and so both her and her mom came alongside us in this trial but she had heard that my mom and I had gone shopping just to bring a little hope and joy on a very hard day, an otherwise very hard day, you know, to have my dad tell the kids that Papa has cancer and it's a cancer that isn't survivable and I'm probably not going to live much more than, you know, several months and so my mom and I had said, well, let's just go out together and let's get some coffee and let's go shopping for this baby. I had already had two previous ultrasounds on this baby and everything looked great. I was very sick, like every pregnancy symptom that you could have that points to a good outcome, I had it and so we were very hopeful for this baby and had no reason to think anything was going to go wrong and so when we found out that there was no heartbeat, it was absolutely devastating. It felt like sorrow upon sorrow and it was also, we had decided we were going to name him after my dad and so he was going to be, you know, this namesake that we were going to have long after my dad had died and this friend of mine called me and she said, listen, you're not going to take those things back.

I'm not going to have you go through the heartache of having to go and have someone scan these items back in one by one. I'm coming to your house and I'm going to take all the clothes and I'm going to return everything for you. And not only did she do that, but she sat with me, she checked in on me day in and day out and she would take my kids. You know, one day she said, let me just take your kids and you and your mom, you go get lunch together and you guys just spend time grieving together. It's hard to grieve when you have young kids because you don't want them to grieve along with you. Yes, and it's not even, you know, I want to be very transparent with my grief in front of my kids, but I also, it's hard to, you know, when you're in that heavy season of grief, like it's a very mournful cry. It's not just a couple tears here and there and to be able to just be alone and actually let the weight of your grief sink in and be expressed, you just, you know, it's just not the time with kids and especially with young kids, it's like, it's go, go, go, go, go.

You know, it's busy. I homeschool and so there's no, there's no break. And so it would be a lot of times in the evenings where I would just, I'd finally get the kids to bed and that's when I would break down and cry. And she understood that because she is a mom and, you know, even though her dad died when she was 15 and she's now in her early 40s, she understands that grief. She understands the fact that that grief never goes away because your love isn't going to go away and your grief mimics your love that you have for that person. But I can't tell you what a unique way that was to serve us and to serve me in particular and just how much that meant to me that she would see what a painful thing that would have been for me to do and that she would instead step in and take that burden off of me. You know, from when I hear this story, I hear another what I think is a critical aspect of really coming alongside somebody. She didn't ask, would it be okay, you know, she steps in and says, I'm going to go do this. And they, right, isn't that a big part of what people can do in this circumstances is go take the kids.

Don't say, is it okay? Or if you really want me, you know, if you need this, just call me. You know what, she helped us with setting up the memorial and we had like stations that kind of represented all different aspects of my dad's life. And while our family was in having dinner after the memorial, without her even asking or telling us, she went and very carefully undid all the displays with so much care, understanding how much each one of these pieces meant to us. But she said, she's like, you know what, that's the last thing you need is to be taking all of those things down after the memorial.

And she said that just, it hits differently when you're taking them all down. And just kind of the finalization of realizing that this chapter is done, you know. And I think there's kind of, there's something that still kind of keeps them alive in a sense in your mind when you're planning the memorial service.

And we took about a month to plan ours. And, you know, you're going through pictures and you're picking out songs and you're, we had the opportunity to record our, like our eulogies basically for him because it was important to us that we got to do it instead of someone else reading ours. But we knew we weren't going to be able to get through that. And in the same sense, like my dad had asked me to sing a certain song and I was a voice major. There's no way I could sing and hold it together at my dad's funeral. I couldn't, you know, and, but again, it's like friends stepped in and they said, well, we'll meet you at the church and we'll record it with you. And so you can actually have this song playing that he requested, but you don't have to be up in front of people trying to hold it together because that's not the time to hold it together.

You know, right. But, you know, it's like people, if you can all understand that God equips us all uniquely. And so that gives you a unique palette to work from of ways you can serve people because what your giftednesses are and what your talents are, are not going to be the same as mine. And so you can uniquely serve people around you that are suffering that are different from the ways that I can serve them.

And I just love the thoughtfulness of it. But, you know, she clearly was like, what can I do? God, you know, you feel like God raised her up to say, here, gave her a heart for this, gave her a heart for that. And so, you know, the question that we ask at the beginning of the show, you kind of ask yourself, how did God answer that for you? You mean as far as like if God was punishing us? So I will say the day that we got the ultrasound with James where we found out he didn't have a heartbeat anymore, my little girl and my mom were the ones with me. My husband was out of town on business and we had no reason to think he needed to be there. You know, we thought he was going to be totally fine.

And there's no heartbeat. And the first thing my little girl said to me, and she was nine, and she says, Mommy, is God angry with us? And, you know, I feel like with my dad, with the death of James and the death of my dad, I didn't necessarily struggle with God being angry with us.

I was able to talk about the story of Job with my daughter and how the Lord uses trials to test us. But recently, you know, when I went through my last miscarriage, I did. I struggled with some of that because it's like, why? Why is it sorrow upon sorrow upon sorrow and just seemingly unrelenting? And I think that you do struggle with those thoughts.

I think that you struggle with anger. I love what you said earlier to me was that Job, after losing all his kids, he fell down and he worshipped. You know, it's unbelievable. Again, I hate that some of you can't hear the rest of the show. Go to Truth Talk Live for, again, Truth Talk Network to get the podcast. We'll be back for the rest of you. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live. Today's topic, a little tough, I got to tell you. But, you know, God is arming us all for those moments when we may need this information. And so the question today is, have you ever thought God was punishing you?

Or perhaps what would you say to someone that said that? We're so blessed to have with us Emily Curtis. She's the author of Hope in the Morning. Very exciting for me is she is going to be beginning a new radio program, Hope in the Morning on the Truth Network. I know we're all very excited about that here. The next few weeks we'll be processing all that.

And there was such needed information for such a time as this. We got Alex is in Jacksonville, Florida. We would love your answer, your question, 866-348-7884. Alex, you're on Truth Talk Live. Hey, how are you? I am wonderful, Alex. How are you doing? I am good.

How are you? Well, I'm doing okay and to answer your question on that, yes, it is very, very tough. I've gone through trials in life where I've been on top of the ladder and you slide down quicker than you climb up. And, you know, sometimes we ask ourselves, what did I do wrong to have this going on in my life? And then, you know, just through prayer, meditation, fasting and just believing it, you know, when you're down and out, you can't pull that little bit of faith out and you try to and you have to hold on to it. And I'm like, you know, searching through the Bible for scriptures and and just thinking, you know, sometimes God will prune us. And when he thinks that he's mad at us and we're going through a bad situation in life, I think sometimes we're getting pruned to make us stronger for what's to come. Yeah, that's a wonderful. Yeah, so you like John 15, right? Yes. So, you know, that idea that, you know, we've got other things that are taking precious energies that that God knows we're going to need in some other area or even obviously that could be something that could become an idol in our own lives. It's it's that's a wonderful insight, Alex.

And can I add one more? I hope you will. I'm glad you are. Sometimes in life. I don't want to say we have a pity party, but sometimes we get down on ourselves and I don't know myself. And then I've looked and I've seen someone that's been worse off. Oh, you know, I was having a pity party on myself one day and I looked across the street and it was almost like God showed it to me. There was there was someone with with no legs and had their arms only and were going across the street. And I'm like, dear God, I'm I'm so down on myself and I'm I'm I'm almost mad at you for where I am in life.

But there's someone right there that's worse off than I am. And, you know, it made me start sobbing and just, you know, break down and cry and just thank God for my my blessings, you know. Yeah, that's worship right there. You know, those tears at that moment. It to me that, you know, I can kind of know when I'm worshiping God, tears come.

It's some part of the equation that, you know, I interviewed the guys from King and Country one time and the Small Bone Brothers. And I forget which one of them said, you know, my eyes start to how did he put it? Oh, man, how could I you know, he's just he used another word for crying.

He was talking about how they would just soak him. But, you know, that's it's such a wonderful insight, Alex, that often right that I think, oh, my goodness, you know, I just got done with this whole situation. You know, I'm on my way home and these insurance people are driving me nuts, blah, blah, blah. And then I find out that, you know, my dear friend just, you know, has got this diagnosis of this, that and the other.

And I'm like, what am I thinking? So, Alex, I am so grateful for you, so grateful for your call. And thank you for listening down there in Jacksonville. Have a blessed day.

You too, my friend. God bless. Emily, what thoughts come to your mind as you hear Alex explain that? You know, one of the things that came to my mind and one of the things that I felt very strongly after this last miscarriage is that sometimes we are so weary.

What he was saying is that sometimes we can't speak those truths to ourselves. And so some days in grief, we feel like David's ready to take on Goliath. And other days where Moses is and we're so weary and we're in need of an errand to uphold our weary arms. And so in that sense, I think it's important that's where the body of Christ comes in. That's where our transparency and grief comes in, where we can say with an open heart that this is what I'm struggling with, you know. And for me, after my last miscarriage, I almost immediately started going into depression and part of it was hormonal.

You know, my body has been through a lot in the last year. And part of it, I was telling my husband, I said, part of it is I'm genuinely very sad about a lot of things. But, you know, in those moments, it's like I turned to my closest friends, to my most godly friends, and I just told them this is what I'm going through and this is what I'm struggling with. And, you know, even told them, like, I'm really struggling with anger right now. I'm struggling with feeling like, why is God giving us all of these trials all at one time? And, you know, as I shared with you, like, why give us these babies just to take them away? And I needed them in that moment to uphold my weary arms because it was so much.

And sometimes we go through seasons like that. Like, it's good for us to know scripture because we should be speaking truth to ourself consistently. But sometimes you're in the muck and the mire and you need somebody else that can speak truth to you and compassionately.

You know, not like Job's friends, not where they were coming and being so accusatory and kind of harsh in the end. But instead, people that can come and sit in the ashes with you and say, you know, this is heavy, whatever you're going through. It might be the loss of a job, might be the loss of a child. There's a lot of different forms of grief, but many times we need our brothers and sisters to come alongside us and help carry us in those hard times and remind us of the truths that we cannot speak to ourself in those moments.

Oh, let me tell you. And, you know, a lot of times, you know, from my perspective, the right word spoken in the right season has the right, you know, result. And you may know a scripture that is exactly applicable to the situation, but it isn't right in that moment. That, you know, you need to be, in my view, and that, you know, one of the neat things about prayer, I heard this recently, I love it so much, that prayer isn't about getting stuff from God, it's about getting with God. And so you're in the middle of that person in this horrible situation and whatever comes to your mind, to me, I'm like, God, is this a word that would be helpful or is this a word that they might turn some other way?

Because, you know, you want to be the opposite of Job's friend or whatever. But you've got to give them credit for however many days, I forget now, is it two weeks they sat there? I think for seven days they sat there silent and they should have stayed that way. Well, you know, they, undoubtedly, they got one of the greatest lessons, you know, that, you know, God had it for them too. And then Job, they got a Job prayer, you know, how many of us have got that? But it's a really, really, really hard thing to know, especially when somebody really has come upon this, that, and the other, and you're sitting there, you know, God, what do I need? But that's the thing I love about your friend. And I've heard that, you know, I produced a show called Wisdom of the Wounded for years and years, and it was just a one-minute show on that.

She really taught me that you should be thinking, when you see somebody going through something, God, give me something creative to do and don't ask them if it's okay or if you need me, call me. But, you know, go take their kids or go, you know, bring them something so that they'll go out to dinner where they got no choice, but here's the thing for you to go to, boom. And they're expecting you at six o'clock, and I've made the reservation, and you, right? Yeah.

Yeah. We actually had another lady from our church who was a photographer, and she gifted our family with a photo session. And she did beautiful pictures. Our family had actually never had a photo session ever. So we didn't have a family portrait together, and here she came to us. And at that point, my dad was too weak to even walk, and so she brought this beautiful chair and set it up. And my parents live on this golf course, and so set it up in this beautiful area on the golf course. And my dad was able to sit there, and we took these beautiful pictures, and she gifted that to us. And that was, she came on a Sunday and gifted us that, and my dad died the following Saturday. And so what a precious, precious gift that we could never thank her enough for, because that's something that we will cherish forever, having those pictures.

Right. It's such a neat thing, and such an opportunity to really just, again, go to God. God, what can I do, you know, that would, you know, bring some kind? And let me tell you one thing you can do. I mean, you know, for those of us on Facebook or, you know, on YouTube right this minute, this book, like Hope in the Morning, like here's story after story after story, right, of people who have been through something similar. And here's what friends did that was helpful.

Here's what friends did that wasn't so helpful. But also, there's always your art, your Scripture. Explain that, Emily. Yeah, so I am a poet, and I've written a poem for every story in there. And then we have Scripture in there, and we have printed hymns, because the hymns are full of rich biblical truth, truth that is not always found in current songs.

And so it's, again, it's one more way for you to remind yourself who God is and the fact that He is unchanging, even when our circumstances are ever changing. There you go. We'll be right back.

We've got Mike and Dayton. Welcome back to Truth Talk Live. We have such a topic today. I have to tell you, have you ever thought God was punishing you? Or maybe you had somebody ask you that question about their own situation.

What would you say to them? So blessed to have with us today Emily Curtis. She is the author of Hope in the Morning, soon to be a radio show along those same lines.

And it's amazing the opportunities God gives us to be His witness for such a time as these kind of things. So we've got Mike is in Dayton, Ohio. We would love for your call. It's 866-348-7884 is the number to call and share your thoughts or your story.

866-348-7884. Mike, you're on Truth Talk Live. Hi.

It's a really hard subject, and I have a friend, a bowling friend. His name is Howard Weaver, so truth listeners, please play for him. He has throat cancer and yeah, and he's he's an acquaintance. He's not he's a good friend. I know him well. Well, I pulled with him before and I just use the Holy Spirit to just say the right things at the right times. So far, all I did was say, hey, man, I care about you.

You need anything. I'm going to pray for you. Me and my wife is going to pray for you. And we really care. And the other day he called me back and said, hey, Mike, can you or not call me? He texted me.

He hasn't called yet. Can you can you take care of my bowling on Saturday? And I said, yes, I sure will. So, you know, sometimes you just got to do what the Holy Spirit's leading you to do. And talk the right things, people.

That's what I'm feeling right now with this friend with both throat cancer. I'm not going to go over and knock on his door and say, hey, let's pray right now. But if God leads me there, I will see what Emily has to say.

Since we have somebody that wrote a book on the subject. Yeah. I mean, one of the things I would say is, you know, stepping in and it's a lot of times you're not going to overstep the way you think that you might. And so even just dropping a meal off for them, you know, dropping off a meal card for them so that they can use that while he's having treatments, offering to drive him to treatments if he needs that.

Just tangible things like that are good. You know, it sounds to me like he is probably not a believer. Is that is that true? Yeah, that's true. Yes. And pray for us. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, even writing out prayers, a lot of times when people go through hard things, they they are looking, you know, they're searching more than ever because our hearts naturally want to find comfort. We are we're meant to worship the Lord. That's the purpose of our creation. And so, you know, continually directing him toward that. I would say that even even writing down a verse or two and just leaving it on his doorstep with a meal or with a gift card for a meal. You just never know how the Lord could use that.

But being active and tangible in your ways of service is great. A lot of people won't do that. You know, a lot of people, they leave when things get hard because they they want to live in a place of comfort. They don't want to enter your grief. You know, they want to live their happy-go-lucky lives. And so if you are stepping out and being willing to enter into his grief as if it were your own, you know, thinking for yourself, what would I be feeling if this was my throat cancer?

What would my wife be going through if this is what I was diagnosed with? I don't know if he has children, but that's something else. You know, do they need do they need rides to and from sports events, things like that? You know, the beautiful thing is, Mike, as I've listened to it, is that he reached out to you even if he texted, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Even with the text. Yeah. And so he sees something in there that's attractive to him. And like you said, the Holy Spirit will let you know when the time is.

And I know you to know enough that you're praying constantly. Oh, yes. For him. Yeah. About that whole situation. But so why don't the three of us, you know, probably best thing we all could do, right? The circumstances. What's your friend's name, man?

Howard Weaver. And and then there's there's bullying trends that I know that are listening right now. I hope they are all in agreement with us. If you pray, probably, you know, certainly, certainly. So, Lord, thank you. Thank you for Mike. I thank you for his heart, for his friend.

We certainly thank you for Howard. And we just ask, Lord, that that Howard would be aware of what's more important than all this and his relationship with you, that that you would touch his heart either through Mike or some through some other way to see how amazing it would be to have joy in such a situation, to have some of those questions answered, like what's going to happen or what should I not be afraid of? Lord, I pray that you would continue to come after him in that. And and we also pray that you would just, you know, touch his body in such a way that you would literally pour the river of life through every cell in his body, that he he would feel your presence and go, what's that? And that he would sense that his healing is coming through you, Lord, that and and sense the need to talk to somebody about that. And even Mike, as the situation may be, that you would raise that situation up to have him have this conversation would be just absolutely amazing. Lord, I again, I thank you for Emily, her amazing counsel in such a situation, the experiences that you've given her to do this. And we just pray that you'd be glorified in what goes on with with Howard and certainly with Mike. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Amen. Emily, I got your book from Robbie and I started to read it. I haven't finished it yet, but, you know, life gets busy and this is making me want to pick it up again.

So, yeah, and I read, you know, a lot of chapters, but I need to read it all the way through. And thank you. And then there's the, you know, the neat thing. And again, I'm always like I'm you like you, Mike. I'm like, God, where's where is it? There's nothing like pointing somebody to the Bible because you're pointing them to Jesus. Right. And saying, oh, there's here's a source of truth. And and so, you know, I'll share with you since, you know, we're running out of time.

You know, I had that question my wife asked me and I, you know, and later I shared it with another member. That, you know, one of my favorite verses, you know, is first John, you know, for 18. It says that, you know, perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. And so those that are being perfected in love don't have to be afraid of punishment. Right. That, you know, clearly, if we're in this position to be perfectly loved, he's he's driving out the fear and he's replacing it with faith. And the faith is that he's a good, good father. And and this this is not the purpose of of what's going on in your life.

Emily, you look like you got something cool. Well, I was just going to tell tell him that there are a few stories and hope in the morning that you might want to jump to. Because they are they are people that went through cancer. And so even being able to read their section of hope and helps and what was helpful to them might be uniquely helpful in your situation with Howard. So I'll just tell you one of the stories is called She Dances with Jesus by John Cox. One is Journey of Grace by Jean Seward McCollum. And one is the other one is Sweet Sixteen by Chuck Kirchner and actually Anchored also by Denise Edmond. Those are all ones that experienced their their walk through cancer with their loved ones and what was encouraging to them. And so that might be those might be some useful resources for you in there.

Right. And hopefully this is a podcast so I can go back and write that stuff down. Well, Nick, we'll be in the morning. You'll make sure that it ends up a podcast. I assure you, Mike, that that's all going to happen as always. I'm so grateful for your calling, grateful for your loyalty, the truth.

And so many different ways. Bye bye. Bye bye. God bless.

Wow. The subject. It touches everybody, right? Almost every day.

We like you said, it's hard to push into. But blessed are those who mourn. So at this point, you've been through a lot in a year. How would you interpret that verse now compared to what you would have in September? You know, I think that we see the compassion of the Lord so much more richly. I think that we, you know, it sounds cliche, but you value life more.

You value your loved ones a little bit more. But also it it really drives home that this place is not our home. You know, it gives it gives an earnestness for heaven and a longing for that. And, you know, I think that that has just renewed my excitement in knowing that, like what we have as believers, what we have to look forward to is so much greater than anything we've ever known here. And so every every joy that we've ever had here at the most the most beautiful moments we've ever known here on earth are going to pale in comparison to what it's going to be like when we stand before the Lord, when we see our savior face to face.

You know, I often think about what a what a sweet release it's going to be when we don't sin anymore, when we don't struggle with sin anymore, you know, when we're not fighting that battle between the flesh and the spirit anymore. And and so I've seen where the Lord does. He comes beside us. He comes alongside us as a father, as a good father. You know, a father that is compassionate and full of grace and mercy. And, you know, even talking about whether he's punishing us, the Bible talks about how he is slow to anger. Most earthly fathers are not, you know, that it's patience is not easily come by in our human form. But the Lord is patient. And and again, like you and I were talking about, it's like this is a season for us to open our hands to the Lord and say, this is this is what I'm feeling. Lord, make me more like you through it. I love what you what you're talking about there, because your faith comes so real when you lose somebody as close as your dad. Right. Or you lose somebody as close as a child that you've been carrying. And so my mother said it this way. And I'm going to end with that. She said, The longer I live, the more my treasure is in heaven.