When we fail to keep a tight rein on lust, inevitably leads to devastation. And today on Truth for Life, Alistair Begg examines the events between King David's son Amnon and his half-sister Tamar in 2 Samuel chapter 13.
We'll hear an important warning and learn the best question to ask ourselves in any situation. So we're told that we find in verse 8 Tamar arriving at her brother Amnon's house. Notice where he was lying down. The way in which this story is told is very, very good. Every time you get lying, or lay, it's there in order to build the context, for sure. I want to be lying down. I want her to bring it from her hand. I want to… The sense of what is unfolding is the kind of thing that you get when movies very skillfully create just the sense in your mind without it being immediately obvious.
You say, I think this is going to go badly, or I think this is going to go in a certain direction. And so, in verse 8, essentially we have Tamar in the kitchen. He is lying down, and she made food in his sight. So the picture, it would seem, is that this simply advances for him his sense of anticipation. From the vantage point of where he lies, he can see her.
Given what's going on in his mind, the very experience of her presence and the activity in which she engages would be stirring to him without any question at all. And when you think about this in literary terms, as we should do as well, because this is a masterful piece of narrative, this little section here slows the action down, doesn't it? Isn't it interesting that in the middle of this you have a description of how she bakes or what she's doing? And in seeing her, as it were, in the kitchen, not only does the moment slow the story, but it also reveals or, if you like, establishes her character, and at the same time, it increases a sense of anticipation—an anticipation on the part of the reader to say, How is this going to unfold?
Let me ask you a question. What do we see when we see her in the kitchen? What do we see? I suggest you that I see her beauty, I see her kindness, I see her skill, and I see her compassion. Apparently, her brother is ill, in need of attention. She has the wherewithal to help him.
Don't you see all of those things? What do you think Amnon saw? None of that, save for her beauty. He wasn't interested in her culinary skills. He wasn't remotely interested in what she was doing. It was all a pretense. No, he didn't have a concern for what she was doing.
He was only focused on what he was planning to do. Because remember, it had been impossible for him to do anything to her. And what she's engaged in now is merely a precursor. Now, it takes an interesting turn. It must have been for her too, when in verse 9 we're told that she took the pan, she emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. What? Now, again, I say to you, there is no indication that she is alert to what is going on here at all. You say, she must be the most naïve princess in the whole world, and she may well be.
To the pure, all things are pure. I made this for you. You don't want to eat? He talks over her. He says, Get everybody out of here.
I want everybody to leave. Send all the servants out. I would imagine that she had at least one lady in waiting with her. She was a princess. The princesses in Britain and in Holland and in Norway or Denmark, they don't just move around on their own.
Usually, they have companions. So she wouldn't just be walking starry-eyed into this prospect. But now, even those who may have been her companions for a moment are dismissed on account of Amnon's desire. And once he has her on his own, verse 10, then he said to Tamar, Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand. He wants her close enough to be able to feed him hand to mouth. And it is in this context that he is honest for the first time. He's honest for the first time. Because now he discards the pretense.
Now he unmasks himself, if you like. And we're told that he takes hold of her and says to her, Come lie with me, my sister. Now, that little my sister and my brother thing has been going on throughout. It is of interest that, although the incompatibility of it in terms of the law of God is clearly stated, when you read Song of Solomon—which is an amazing, erotic love story, amongst other things—you will find that the suitor often uses sister as a term of endearment.
And I take it that in this strange, horrible, ugly way, you have in this incident the overpowering, obnoxious activity of this man, so messed up in his head that he thinks he can sweeten it by his terminology. He took hold of her. She answers, No. No. Verse 12. And not just no, but no with her reasons.
You'll see them there. Do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel. We don't do stuff like this, she says. We are the people of God, joined by his name, delivered from shame. We don't do this. We know the law of God.
We do not do this. Notice that the first question to ask and to answer in every encounter, whatever the encounter may be—whether it is a business sales call or an injection or whether it is your homework. The question is, What is the right thing to do? No, what is the expedient thing to do? What will make me feel good if I do this?
What will placate people if I do this? No, what is the right thing to do? He knows what he wants to do, and she recognizes that it is wrong to do.
In fact, she says it's wrong, it's wicked, it's outrageous. And then she says, Think about the implications. Think about what this will mean for me. There is no place for me to go and hide my shame. Think about what it will mean for you. Do you think you're gonna become the king after something like this?
No! You go down in the Hall of Fame for outrageous folly. That's where you be, she says. And realizing that the grip in which he holds her is not about to weaken, I take it that she suggests approaching the king simply as a last-ditch attempt to buy herself some time or to save herself, but to no avail.
And there you have it in verse 14. But he would not listen to her. And being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. Enough said in need of no elaboration. The briefest of pauses. And then, in a psychology that is not unusual in incidents like this, we're told that he hated her with a very great hatred. He lusted after her with an all-consuming lust, so for him to hate her in this way is an expression of a deep-seated hatred. And Ammon said to her, Get up!
Go! So he moves from Come lie with me, my sister, to get up and go. How long did that take?
And how very long, for sure. You see, the problem for him was that there was a witness to what he'd done. And the witness to what he'd done was Tamar herself. So how was he ever going to be able to look Tamar in the face? How was he ever going to be able to meet her in the street? How was he ever going to be able to bump into her at the local grocery store without once again being unmasked? Without once again being reminded of this intolerable confrontation which he had initiated, and despite her protestations he had proceeded to fulfill, he could not ever think of doing that without being revealed the shortcomings of himself as a person. Because his whole personhood is revealed in this incident. He knows nothing of affection. He knows nothing in this incident of that which we've been regarded as the beauty and purity and wonder of it all. You see, what makes this so unbelievable and so horrible is the fact that the very nature of what is taking place, when that activity within the framework of the love of a man for a woman within the context of marriage as God intended, all of those exciting elements are part and parcel of it.
Right? It's okay for me to watch my wife as she makes food for me in the kitchen and for me to be thinking not only about pasta but about other things. It's entirely okay. Because of the context. And that's what makes it so ugly. That's what makes it so jarring. That's what makes it so despicable. For when you remove that physical bond from the realm of the framework in which God intends, it becomes in itself a monstrosity.
A monstrosity! And so he has no future. No future. Get up. Go. No, she says.
No, once again. This wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me. How desperate is the prospect of her shame that she's even prepared to suggest staying with her oppressor? That's what she's saying.
Even in light of what has happened, if you kick me out now and I go out on the street, I'm done forever. She's making, actually, an appeal, almost, to his humanity. But notice again, this guy's ears don't work. Verse 16, But he would not listen to her. That was in verse 14 as well, wasn't it? Don't do this, but he would not listen to her. Get out, don't do this, but he would not listen to her. And he called the young servant man and said, Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her. Actually, Woodhouse, my professor of Old Testament now for months, points out that woman is not actually in the original. Put this out.
Put this out. So, she's no longer even a woman. She's something to be discarded. Get up, go, put her out, bolt the door. Why bolt the door? Does he really think she's coming back? No, because by bolting the door, he can create an impression in the community that he needs to get her out, because she was the seducer, and he was the victim.
He could perhaps make it appear that way. So, look at her clothes. She was wearing a long robe with sleeves. You remember Joseph's code of many colors?
The terminology is very similar in the two passages. She was wearing the clothes that expressed her status—her status as a princess, as a daughter of the king—but no outfit could cover her shame. And so she put ashes on her head, she tore the robe, she laid her hand on the head, and she went out. What a picture, huh? Can you see her going down the street?
I think I can. A picture of desolation and utter misery. Even her clothes testify to the dissonance between what she wears and how she feels and what she is and how, in a moment or two, her life has been shattered, and she is in tatters. Now we need to move on and finish, but you will notice that her brother Absalom appears once again in the picture. He's very perceptive. I think he understands what he's up against with this Amnon character. Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? So, listen, hold your peace, my sister.
Don't take this to heart. Is he being unfeeling? I don't think he's being unfeeling. I think what he's actually saying is, Don't break your heart, because I'm about to break his neck.
Because that's exactly what's going to happen. And so, Tamar is gone. You see that sentence there at the end of verse 20? So Tamar lived a desolate woman in her brother Absalom's house. That's all we know of Tamar. That's the end.
What an epitaph. What about David? Well, he was angry, but we're told elsewhere that he didn't really take any action at all.
After all, he was compromised, wasn't he? It was a real problem. Now, what are you going to do when your son says to you, Hey, who are you to say?
Who are you to talk? You see the implications? For fathers and bad decisions? Because these two characters, Amnon and Absalom, are two chips off the old block. Chapter 11 is about sexual sin and murder.
Chapter 13 is about sexual sin and murder. Dare we say, like father, like sons, that's why there's no communication between them? Why would he talk to Amnon?
He's planning on killing him. We'll see that later. Well, let's finish.
Let's finish. Let's just say a couple of things. This is a chapter that, as one of the commentators puts it, rubs our noses in the sinfulness of sin.
There's no question about that. It's a chapter that leaves us in no doubt that sin wreaks havoc in human lives. It's a chapter that reveals that where the fear of God is absent, all kinds of manifold chaos may easily unfold. It is the fear of the Lord that is the beginning of wisdom. The absence of the fear of the Lord will be revealed in expressions of folly. It's a chapter that reminds us that when infatuation comes our way—as infatuation may come our way.
In fact, it would be strange if people did not suddenly say to themselves, you know, I was married for fourteen years, and I saw this person, and then I began to think about her or I began to think about him or whatever it was. Listen. Listen. Recognize that when that day comes, you don't need a Jonadab. I don't need a Jonadab.
I need a Joseph. When temptation comes, when desire is conceived, it gives birth to death. Don't let's kid ourselves. Let's make sure that the advice we take is good advice, not bad advice. And let's recognize the challenge of the example we leave to our children. Finally, two thoughts.
Really, back to where we began. When you stand back from this, when you consider the promise of God in the prophecy of Nathan—not in the most recent one, but in the one where it talks about the establishment of the house of David—you say to yourself, What about the house of David now? This thing looks absolutely hopeless. David's glory days are gone.
Amnon's a complete disaster. Absalom is about to prove the same. And without even reading on through the chapters, it's just one slow, sorry slide into oblivion. Well, what does it do? It does exactly what the Bible does. It leaves the people saying, If this is the best we have, we need somebody else. And the story of the Bible is exactly that.
Because there is someone else. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This is the King you need. The only person who can be a Messiah is not a Messiah who's tinted and tainted by the sinfulness of coming out of this lineage. The only Messiah who is the Messiah is one who is morally perfect. Do you know one who is morally perfect? Only Christ, in whom there was no sin. And it is that Lord Jesus Christ, it is that King, who is putting together a kingdom.
And I owe this insight to Wodehouse. He is putting together a kingdom that it is actually full of people—people whose lives are in places guilty of the same corruption of Amnon but whose lives have been washed clean. You see, do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit? Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?
So don't be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral nor adulterers nor idolaters nor men who practice homosexuality nor thieves nor greedy nor drunkards nor revilers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. Oh, goodness gracious, what are we to do?
And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified. So when we gather around the Lord's Table this evening, we gather there, united in the reality of the fact that we are only sinners saved by grace, and that the mess of chapter 13 is part of the vast mosaic that sends us forward in search of the one who not only fulfills all the expectations but the one who bids us come to him to be washed, to be made new, to be made members of his kingdom. Well, Father, help us to digest this, perhaps even to set aside parts of it that have represented confusion. Lord, I pray for some who will be deeply disturbed by this, that the closing notion of the transforming power of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ may prevail in every way.
For Jesus' sake, we ask it. You're listening to Truth for Life. That is Alistair Begg with the conclusion of a message titled, What a Tangled Web. As we're learning, the spiritual example we set for our children is vitally important. We want to leave a legacy of faith, and to do that, we need to be people who study God's word every day. We are recommending to you a book today that will make that easier for you. It's Truth for Life, 365 Daily Devotions, Volume Two, written by Alistair. This is a collection of one-page readings for every day throughout the year. Each reading will prompt you to thoughtfully consider a passage from Scripture, then reflect on Alistair's thoughts and insights about what the passage is teaching, and how its instruction frames your daily life. Whether you're starting your morning with quiet meditation, or enjoying a time of family devotions, or you're ending your day with prayer, you'll find this book to be a solid source of spiritual enrichment. Alistair's clear, pastoral voice makes this book a comforting guide as you seek to mature in your relationship with God. Ask for your copy of Volume Two of Truth for Life, 365 Daily Devotions, when you donate today to support the ministry of Truth for Life using the mobile app, or online at truthforlife.org slash donate, or you can call us at 888-588-7884. Thanks for listening today. The story of King David's demise is more than just an historical narrative. Tomorrow, we'll see how it's a warning for each of us about the corrosive effects of sin. I hope you can join us. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life, where the Learning is for Living.
