Marriage and Family (Pt. 1)

Well, as I've said, in the series in Ephesians we come today to the very important subject of marriage and family. And in our changing world, and it is a changing world, a rapidly changing world, it's essential that we have a biblical understanding of marriage and the family. Not all that many years ago, Christians, few Christians would ever have argued for same-sex relationships, far less same-sex marriages, but how that has changed. Increasingly, sadly in many churches, there is a rejection of biblical truth, biblical teaching, and these churches in a desire to be thought of as modern and cool, they adopt the practices and the values of our surrounding culture.

And that's the very opposite of what we are to do. And I understand this issue of marriage and the issue of same-sex marriage is a hot topic. I follow what's happening in Scotland a little bit. And recently in Scotland, there's a Christian politician, a young woman in her thirties, and she is a member of the Scottish Parliament and she is a true believer in Jesus Christ. And she has been so strongly vilified in the press for saying that a transgender woman is a biological man who wants to be a woman.

That's fact. The biology is that this individual is a man. What's a transgender woman? It's a biological man physiologically, a man who wants to be a woman. Self-evident one would have thought, but not in our crazy world where you can self-declare now your gender, where a Supreme Court judge seems to have difficulty in defining what a woman is.

It reminds us if we know our Bibles of what happens in Romans 1, that downward moral and spiritual decline where Paul says, claiming to be wise, they become fools. And how true that is today. Former British Prime Minister David Cameron, who was quite a good prime minister I thought, he was asked some years ago for his definition of marriage. This was the answer brought out from his office. Marriage is between two adults who love one another.

How pathetic. According to that definition, two brothers or a mother and their son could marry. And with that statement, with the flourish of the pen, thousands of years of civilization, to say nothing of the clear teaching of Scripture are dismissed. We're going to learn today, very and very important, something I think most of you know or should know, that marriage is God's idea. It is God who gave us the institution of marriage. Marriage — and we'll learn what marriage is — is a wonderful provision by God and is designed for us for our good. It is what we call a creation ordinance. There are redemption ordinances such as baptism and the Lord's Supper, but this institution of marriage goes back to creation.

Goes back, as we will see, right to the beginning. So today, I want to look very broadly at the subject of marriage and family, and then on the Sunday after Easter Sunday, look at the particular responsibilities of husbands and wives and children. Calvary Church — we've just seen and prayed for our children — is committed to Christian marriages, to Christian homes, and I realize as I preach this message, it's not an easy message for some of you to hear.

We're a very large congregation. We have many singles here. We have widows. We have widowers. We have people who are divorced.

We have people who have separated from their spouse. There are some of you in very difficult marriages, and I understand that, but I want us to look at the Word of God. And so I invite you to turn to the book of Ephesians, and we're going to read, first of all, Ephesians 5, verses 22 through 33, and we'll look further at this passage, Lord's willing, two weeks from now. We want to have marriages that shine with the Gospel. In our world of confusion in marriage and gender and sexuality, how wonderful that the Christian marriage can be different. And what an opportunity we have to declare to our family members, to our neighbors, to those that we work with, that we are not perfect.

There are no perfect marriages, but our marriage has been and continues to be transformed by the grace of God. So we're working our way through the book of Ephesians, and we come, and if you have your Bible, please open it. Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we're members of His body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Spiritual teaching on marriage and the home.

I want to say something very simple today, and if you miss everything, get this. Build your marriage on a spiritual foundation. Someone says, what was Monroe's preaching about today? The answer is, he was telling us how to build our marriage on a spiritual foundation. First of all then, we want to understand God's design for marriage.

I'm dealing with a foundation. I remember several years ago someone, I think they'd either read a book about marriage or gone to a Christian seminar about marriage, and they came back and the man asked me and said, how do you view yourself in your marriage? I said, what are you talking about? He said, well, are you a golden retriever or a shark or a lion or a beaver? I thought, really? I said, well, if you're putting it that way, I look at myself as a kind of teddy bear.

And I mean, I'm kind to everyone. I'm a sort of teddy bear, golden retriever. He wants to be a golden retriever. They want to be valid, very insecure animal.

Always has to be affirmed, doesn't it? A shark? I mean, I left the profession of sharks when I left the law. A lion? Yes, but a lion's growling, isn't it? I don't know. And a beaver?

Hard-working? No, I'm a teddy bear, I said. He was not impressed and questioned my spirituality as well as he might, but today we're not dealing with such cosmetic things. We're dealing with a foundation. And so to do that, you can keep your fingers, as it were, in Ephesians 5, but go back to Genesis 1. Genesis 1. Genesis 1, verse 27, where we will learn that male and female are created in the image of God. Genesis 1, first book, first chapter of the Bible.

Here it is right in the beginning, and this is so instructive for us, and in a sense so obvious, but we've got to say it and spell it out today because of the prevailing nonsense around us. So, God created man in His own image. In the image of God, He created him. Male and female, He created them. God could have made ten genders. He didn't.

He made two. Every single one of us, without exception, you're either male or you're female, and that is God's decision. We don't migrate from one to the other. We don't self-declare. No, you're either a man or a woman.

You're either a boy or a girl. That's the way that God has designed us. And this is the apex of God's creation. In Genesis 1, God creates many things, but here's the summit. Here's the apex of God's creation. Man and woman made in the image of God.

God made us male and female. That's God's design. So, don't really be too surprised then that our enemy, Satan himself, attacks the male-female distinction. Satan always attacks what God builds. God gives us a family, Satan attacks it. God gives us a church, and says, Jesus, the gates of Hades prevail against it. The only thing that God is doing, Satan is there. Jesus reminded us in the parable of the sower, when the seed is sown, the enemy immediately comes and tries to pick up the seed. So, God right in the beginning made us male and female.

Basic. Basic biology, but along comes our enemy now and says, not really. If you feel like being a woman, be a woman.

If you're a woman and feel you want to be a man, be a man. That is contrary to God's design. Don't oppose what God is doing. It will bring you pain.

It will bring you anxiety. It ultimately will lead to destruction. Now note also chapter 2, verse 18. This is very interesting in terms of marriage, God's way. The Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make him a helper fit for him, or suitable for him. In the account of God's creation, this is the first time we encounter something that is not good. Look at the end of chapter 1. Chapter 1, verse 31, and it was so, and God saw everything that He had made and behold, it was very good.

Everything that God made is very good. However, when He makes man, God says here, Genesis 2, verse 18, this is before the fall, it is not good that the man should be alone. Adam on his own is incomplete. And God's remedy then, and it is God's remedy, it is God's design, He brings to Adam, not another man, but He brings to man a woman, a helper, the context says, fit for him, suitable for him. So here is Adam, perfect man.

Sin has not yet come into the garden. It's not good for Adam to be alone. And so God graciously brings to Adam this woman who is going to be a helper, suitable for him. You say, well, that's rather demeaning to look at our wives as helpers.

Really? Do you think like that? Do you know that this word helper here is generally used in the Old Testament to refer to God? That God is Israel's helper. Psalm 46, verse 1, God is our refuge and strength, our very present help in time of trouble.

That's the same word. In your time of trouble, God is our helper. Our children were reminding us of that, that God is the one who's with us, that God is our helper, our wonderful. No, the woman is not God. She's not a God. The point is this, that God brings to Adam a woman who is suitable to Him.

If you're single, perhaps dating someone, there are many things to consider before you marry someone. But according to the text, according to the way it's set out in the Old Testament, here is something which must be at the top or certainly very close to the top. And that is that the person you marry is to be your friend, is a companion. That Adam by himself is incomplete, and this woman comes, and for all of his life, she is a helper, a friend in an exclusive and permanent relationship.

Think of it. Think of it, for those of us who are married, think of men, think of the woman that God brings to you, that God has brought a woman to you. I believe that God brought Goodney to me. I've known her for almost 50 years. She was just out of kindergarten when I met her. So now, I'm somebody who is fairly easily bored, and you would think, living with someone all that time, you'd get tired of them.

I mean, some people are boring after five minutes, right? But you think of the wonder of it, that in a marriage, certainly in a Christian marriage, there is developed, growing and growing, greater and greater and more meaningful this person who becomes, yes, your best friends. And the man and the woman together — notice marriage is between a man and a woman — the man and the woman together can do what the man alone can't do. Eve is Adam's helper. She is suitable for him.

Eve compliments the man. Some women here at Calvary, you've come up to me and said, you know, your wife spoils you. And they say it in such a way that as if, hmm, you know, you need to take better care of your wife. I mean, does she look as if I don't spoil her? Does my wife spoil me?

In a sense, yes. Man, I hope your wife spoils you a bit, and I hope you spoil your wife a bit. Isn't that part of the point of marriage, that we compliment one another, that we bring to the relationship that which we in ourselves lack? If Adam could have gone through life alone, he wouldn't have been brought a woman. I realize everyone is not married. Some people are called to a singlehood. Some people live as a widower, widower for many years as my mother did.

I understand that. But the normal course of humanity is that most people are married and that God in His grace — take your life you're a follower of Christ. Man, listen to me — that God in His grace will bring to you the woman suitable for you.

I think this is marvelous. If you trust God as a young man, I prayed for a Christian wife as every sensible young man does, and God brought this woman right in front of me, right out of the blue as it were. And the first day I saw her, I thought, I think she's the one that God has for me. Took me a little while to understand how wise this was.

But there it was. You don't think God is able to do that? And God took — notice what happens — He takes one of Adam's ribs and from that rib made Eve and brings her to the man. Verse 20 of Genesis 2, the man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall upon the man while he slept, took one of his ribs, closed up his place with flesh, and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made into a woman and brought it to the man. Then the man said, this at last. You ever notice that?

Verse 23. He's seen all of the animals. You think, well, these are magnificent animals.

I'm all alone. I mean, which animal is going to be my best friend? Which bird is going to be someone that I can go through life with in this intimate relationship of friendship and companionship and so on? I mean, as a little boy I was fascinated by elephants.

Still I am a little bit. Magnificent creature. You know, imagine living with an elephant.

You need a lot of food. Remember as a little boy at Edinburgh Zoo, going a ride on the elephant, admiring this beautiful creature. All of the animals are brought before Adam, but not one of them is suitable for him. And then God brings, I mean, she must have been the perfect woman, right? Imagine her coming and Adam gets out of his sleep and he says, at last. And it's a love poem. This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. No animal can enter into that kind of relationship. You say, well, people say my dog's my best friend.

Really? A dog? They say, well, you know, when I go home, a dog always welcomes me.

OK. It's there, it wags its tail, you pat it, makes you feel good. Dog feels good. And you say, well, you know, my dog, I can throw a ball and it will bring it back. Think, OK, you've got a ball and for some reason you throw the thing and it brings it back to you.

I mean, why are you throwing the ball away if you want it back to you? But this little dog goes back and forward, back and forward. And I say, this is wonderful, my little dog. Furthermore, my little dog, if you give it a little treat, it will put up its paw.

Wonderful. This is your best friend, someone who barks when you come home, for some reason brings back a ball that you already have, and you've trained this thing to go back and forward. I mean, how smart of the dog is that?

I would have said, hey, next time you get it, buddy. But no, little dog goes back and forward and it can put up its paw. This is your best friend. Is there any intellectual connection with this animal? Can it speak to you? Can it really understand the joys and the struggles of your life? Of course not.

No. God gives us animals. God gives us pets. I'd love to have a dog.

We don't have one, for a very good reason. Someone else that lives with me doesn't like dogs. So, I am not anti-dog. I love dogs. I love a dog that I could throw a ball to and bring it back. But someone I live with doesn't like dogs, so we don't have a dog. But you can't compare an animal with a person, can you?

No. This is something special, another human being that God brings to you who is a helper in all of life, suitable for you. Matthew Henry writes, the woman was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.

Well said, isn't it? No, marriage is not just a piece of paper. It's a holy covenant. Adam and Eve were married, as it were, in the presence of God. So, first of all, we need to understand God's design for marriage. Second, we must follow God's design for marriage. Verse 24, Genesis 2, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Go back to Ephesians 5, our main text. Ephesians 5, verse 31, what does Paul do when he's telling us about Christian marriage, he quotes us in Genesis 2, verse 24. Here in Ephesians 5, 31, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Notice God's design. You have to understand it, but you've got to follow it. First, there is a leaving, there is a forsaking. Verse 31, as Paul quotes the creation ordinance, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother.

There is a forsaking. Now, I understand that in some cultures, the groom's father remains head of the family even when his sons marry. That may be the culture, but that is not God's design.

No. Men, if you're not ready to leave home, leave mom and dad, and begin a new home, you're not ready for marriage. Fathers, please listen. When your sons get married, please allow them to be the leader in your own home. They are to honor you, yes, but they're no longer under your control. That's the biblical practice.

This is designed for healthy homes, for healthy relationships. We're always to honor our parents, however old we are or they are, but here's the biblical design. You leave father and mother. Second, there is a holding fast.

First, I leave my mother and father. Secondly, I hold fast to my wife. Notice, there's a holding fast to your own wife, not to someone else's. There has to be complete loyalty and fidelity to her spouses. You leave, old King James says, you cleave. You hold fast.

My, that's been assaulted today, isn't there? With so much immorality. No, a man is not to leave his wife.

When you find someone more attractive or more interesting, he is to hold fast. Any husband here thinking of having a relationship with another woman, whether she's married or single, listen to God's Word. That is adultery, one of the Ten Commandments. Thou shall not commit adultery. You've made that covenant. You've made that commitment. You leave and you hold fast. Don't allow the devil to mess up your life, mess up your home and your children by some momentary, exciting experience. First, there's a leaving.

Secondly, there's a holding fast. Third, there is a becoming one flesh. And the two, two distinct personalities, two distinct individuals, now they become one flesh, bonded in a radical, lifelong commitment. Without losing our individuality to a man and a woman, become one flesh. Jesus says what God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

Do you think of that? Can I remind you, men, women, wives, husbands, that God joins you together. God was there when Adam and Eve, as it were, got married.

God was in it. That's why marriage is a holy covenant. We make our vows just before our friends and families, but more importantly, before God. You made a commitment.

You made a certain statement. And you are to hold fast to that, to becoming one. And God does His wonderful, supernatural work in our marriages by weaving together two souls who become one. They will love. They will help one another. They will be with one another in the joys and the struggles of life. It's not wonderful to know, if you're married, that this person that God has brought to you is going to be with you. Friends, come and go.

Children grow up and leave the home. Relationship changes, but here is a relationship which will stand. I remember recently, Goodney saying to me, you know, with Christ and with one another, we can face anything.

In a sense, that's true, isn't it? You're married. Wonderful to get counsel and help from other people, but there's no one who can help you, no one who can encourage you and pray for you as a godly husband or wife. There are no points obviously to sexual union in the marriage, but a good marriage, a Christian marriage is more than physical union. Unbelievers can do that, but in a spiritual marriage as well as the physical union, and that is certainly important, God made us as sexual beings.

I'm not minimizing that, but there is more. There is a spiritual union. There's an intellectual and emotional union in this most transparent, vulnerable, and open relationship, a delightful relationship, a unique relationship of two human beings, a man and a woman leaving their families committing to each other and becoming one flesh. Notice that the becoming one flesh comes after the leaving and the holding fast. Do you see what you're saying, John?

Let me spell it out. Sexual union is preserved for within marriage. The number of couples living together prior to marriage has soared, doesn't it? And so that whole generation grows up in thinking to live with someone without getting married is cool.

I'm just trying it out to see if it works or not. That's not God's way. Sexual intimacy then has cheapened, and studies have shown that premarital abstinence is a good indicator of faithfulness within marriage. That is the best preparation for a couple to be faithful to each other once they're married is to exercise self-control before they're married. Don't live with your boyfriend.

Don't live with your girlfriend prior to marriage. This is what it means to be a Christian. It is to obey God's Word. This is God's way, and it is for our good. Don't think that God is trying to deprive you of some joy, quite the opposite. Marriage is the most joyful of all human relationships, but do it God's way.

So what am I saying? Understand God's design for marriage. Secondly, follow it. God's design for marriage. Third, have a shared faith in the Lord Jesus. You know, the context of Ephesians 5, 22 through 33 arises from Paul's instruction regarding the results of the Spirit-filled life. In verse 18 of chapter five, he says, don't get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit. And one of the evidences, one of the results of the filling of the Spirit, verse 21, is that we submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And that is the context now in which Paul writes. He's writing to people who have been redeemed by the grace of God, saved, they're walking in love and light. We've looked at these concepts in our study of Ephesians. And how does that result, how does that impact our marriages?

Here it is. You know, a Christian marriage doesn't begin with a church wedding. Christian marriage is where the man and the woman have individually made a commitment to Jesus Christ.

That's primary. The most important commitment we make, ever make, is to our Lord Jesus Christ. We surrender our lives to Him.

We're saved by His grace. And now, in the wonder of a Christian marriage, these two individuals who've made their commitment to Christ are now coming together and surrendering their lives to Christ. And with the help of the Spirit of God, and God will give you all of the help you need, they're going to form a Christian home. Notice the spiritual components of Paul's teaching in marriage, and we'll think more of this in a couple of weeks. Verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Verse 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

Do you get this? This is spiritual. We're asking God for His help. As you're walking in the path of the Spirit, we now have a supernatural help in our marriages, in our homes, which the unbeliever doesn't have. That's why, if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, do not date and certainly don't marry an unbeliever. I've heard many people say, well, you know John, I — she's pretty close to the Lord, or I think he'll come to saving faith in Christ. And in some cases God in His grace grants that.

In other cases, it's a complete disaster. The Bible tells us, 2 Corinthians 6 verse 14, not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. It comes from the teaching in Deuteronomy 22 verse 10, you shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together. An unequal yoke. You don't plow in Israel with an ox and a donkey. Similarly, as you go into marriage, you don't yoke a believer with an unbeliever.

We call that an unequal yoke. So I ask you, does this person you're considering marrying, do they have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? You say, I don't know. You mean you're considering marrying this person and you've never had that conversation? Does she love the Word of God? This beautiful woman you're thinking of marrying, does she? Does he regularly worship on the Lord's Day?

Is he serving the Lord? Do you as a couple, are you free together as you're thinking of marriage that you can pray together? Is there a spiritual dynamic to the relationship or is it merely driven by the physical?

Or just some, you've got similar interests? We've learned that the spiritual foundation of the marriage is key. And Paul in this passage beautifully draws a parallel between the relationship of husband and wife with the relationship of Christ and His church. That is the man in marriage is a picture of Christ who is the initiator of our salvation. Just as the man is the leader, is the initiator in sexual union. The female in the picture, in the passage, is a picture of the church which responds in faith to the love of Christ.

So when a woman who professes to be a Christian marries an unbeliever, she is destroying the purpose of God that marriage represents Christ and His church. Do you see how holy this is? Do you see how sacred this is? Our very marriages are a picture of Christ and His church. Paul says in verse 32, this mystery is profound.

It is. It's mysterious, isn't it? There's something mysterious about marriage, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. A shared faith in Jesus Christ is essential if you're going to have a spiritual home. Now, as I conclude, let me very quickly give you five points, five keys as it were in building a marriage and home according to God's design. Number one, build a home of love. When I have the privilege of officiating at a marriage, I often read 1 John 4, because love must be supreme in the home. Did you come, were you raised in a home of love?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to think all of our children that we saw, these beautiful children, that they come from homes where they're loved. First John 4, 7, beloved, let us love one another. We live in a very harsh world, don't we? An evil world. A world often characterized by unkindness, by lust rather than love.

Let us love one another, for love is from God. You say, John, I didn't come from that kind of home. I came from a home of abuse. I came from a home of unbelievers.

What am I going to do? You're going to drink from the love of God, that God so loved the world. Are you going to say like Paul, the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. And whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us that God sent His only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we've loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. This is the gospel, isn't it, that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. In the wonder of conversion, the love of God is poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit who's given to me.

Irrespective of the home I've come from, don't allow that to be your excuse. Now, as a follower of Christ, I've received God's love, and I want that to be deepened. That's why we have communion. That's why we come together, that we grow in the love of God.

Now, I have received that love. And here in a Christian home, that man and that woman who are believers, what are they going to do? They're going to love God, they're going to love one another, and they're going to love their children.

Have you received that love in your heart? You'll never have Christ in your home unless first Christ is in your heart. And don't, don't be afraid to express your love in your home. In Christian homes, there should be a lot of love, a lot of hugging shouldn't there?

As I say, we live in a very harsh world, and our children and our students are exposed to the harshness and the vitriol, and how we need to love one another. And husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church. I know she's not perfect.

I know she may not want you to have a dog at home, but you are to love her as Christ loved the church. Seriously, that's what we're here to do. Christ loves you, love her. Stop always nitpicking.

Stop always complaining. Be kind, be patient. Show love in your home. Secondly, read God's Word daily in your home. I've been saying to you, and I preached on that last Sunday evening, to read your Bible at least 15 minutes a day. Teach your children the Word of God.

Read the Word of God. I was taught to ancient Israel and the great Shema, Deuteronomy 6, hear of Israel, the Lord our God is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and with all your mind. And these words I command you today shall be on your heart. If that was true of Israel, how much more to the people of God who are redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, that God's love is written on their heart. You shall teach them, parents, you shall teach them diligently to your children.

Notice that word, diligently. And shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and of your gates that the Word of God is all around you.

Yes, you're doing it formally as you read the Scriptures to them, but when you're out for a walk, when you're out for a drive, use that as an opportunity to point them to God. I took my grandson to Scotland last year, and we're walking away up in the Scottish Highlands and we suddenly realize away above us is a nightingale. His world is very small. He's born in Pineville.

He lives in Fort Mill. I was trying to say to him, there's a big world there beyond Fort Mill. And here is a nightingale. Do you see how small it is? What a beautiful song. You can sing various songs. From a tiny little head, God made that. Listen to it.

Fluttering. The presence of God is around us, isn't it? And that we teach our children and our students and one another, those of you who are older children and have got younger brothers and sisters, keep pointing them to Christ. And the primary responsibility for the spiritual education of your children is not Calvary Church. Praise God that we have wonderful children's ministry coordinators and leadership and volunteers. It's not the youth group. It's not the Christian school.

No, these are all secondary. We are here to help you. But the primary responsibility is yours. So build a home of love. Secondly, read God's Word daily in your home. Third, don't allow moral pollution into your home.

How important. Fathers, particularly. Protect your home from evil. I don't just mean from predators or someone coming into the house.

Of course, you're going to do that. But moral danger, spiritual danger, what about your language? How do you speak in your home? How do you talk to each other? What do you allow your children to watch?

What about that iPhone? Do you know what they're looking at? What do you sit down as a family and watch? So you are to be an example of purity, of holiness. There's evil influences out there. And, can I remind you, be very, very, very careful into which homes you allow your children to go, particularly overnight. You say, well I know them. I think they're Christians.

What's going on in that home? Of children and young men and young women going into homes overnight and all kinds of horrible things happening. So be very, very careful. Four, make attendance at the house of God a priority. And don't say that just as I'm a pastor.

It's biblical. Don't make worshiping on the Lord's Day optional for you and your children. Don't stop worshiping on the Lord's Day, on a Sunday, when you decide to go for a family outing. People say, well Uncle Bob and Aunt Sally came. We can't come to church. Really?

Bring them with you, or if they don't, come leave them at home. You say, well, Sunday is Johnny's baseball game, is Jenny's dance recital, and that is the most important thing in the world. Is it? If you're going to invest in your home and your house God's way, God's priorities, not the culture, not the school, not the coach, why is it? I've always wondered this in this country. Why is it that the coach seems to have a louder voice in a Christian home than God? Oh, he'll tell you what to do, or she'll tell you what to do. You're going to obey the coach. I'm all for obeying the coach in a particular setting.

But the coach is not responsible for your home. Fathers, be careful. Make worship a priority. Finally, acknowledge your complete dependence on the Lord. As we think of marriage, we've got to admit, don't we, that we've all messed up.

We've got many regrets. Psalm 127 verse 1, unless the Lord builds a house, they labor in vain who build it. You're working hard in your family. You've got children that are socially well-adjusted. You're giving them a good education.

They are exposed to all kinds of athletics and culture and art and all of that. That's great. That's wonderful. But is the Lord building your home? You say, how's the Lord going to build your home? Follow the Word of God and get down on your knees as I'm sure you do if you're a Christian parent or a Christian grandparent and pray. Pray for the Lord's help.

Isn't that wonderful? I tell young couples who are about to get married, the Lord is going to give you all of the help, all of the wisdom that you need if you allow the Lord into your home. Invite the Lord into every decision. Invite the Lord, as it were, into every room of your home. Ask for His love. Ask for His grace. Ask for His wisdom. And ask that your home will shine with the beauty of the Lord Jesus. I'm going to pray, and if you're married, take your husband or wife's hand or if you're sitting next to your children. I want to pray for our marriages. It's not easy. There's all kinds of pressures on us. We can all point to failures, but isn't that wonderful that God will help us?

Our Father and our God, I pray for all of the Calvary homes, all of our children, all of our students, husbands, wives, singles, those who are widowed today, those who think fondly of a loved one who's now with you. There's heartache. There's those whose marriages are really messed up.

There's those who are separated here. They don't know what to do, and we don't know what to do, so we cry out to you. We confess unless you build a house we labor in vain. We don't want to labor in vain, so I pray for husbands who are strong in your grace, who love their wives as Christ loved the church. I pray for wives who submit to their husbands as to the Lord. I pray for children who are obedient, and I pray that your grace and your healing into broken relationships and fractures in families may be healed under your mighty hand. And above all, I pray that for those here who don't know Christ, that they may cry out to Him. We thank you for that amazing love, amazing grace that saves wretches like us. May some today believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved. In His name, amen.