Today on the verdict with Pastor John Monroe. Been good. Relationships, in healthy relationships, there must be mutual forbearance. We must, in a sense, put up with one another. And we must, as we interact with this in her home, in marriage, with her parents.
At work and in the church, we must expect some tensions in relationships. Welcome to The Verdict, featuring the Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe. We would all prefer to enjoy healthy, positive relationships in our homes, workplaces, and churches. But sadly, that isn't always the case.
So what can we do? Today on the verdict, we're learning how to bring the virtues of Jesus Christ into our relationships and live as a blessing to others.
Now, continuing our study in Colossians, here's Pastor John Monroe. All of us, without exception, appreciate people treating us with compassion, kindness, and patience. These are lovely people to be around, aren't they? But what kind of interaction characterizes your relationships? How do you relate to people?
Today we're continuing our series in Colossians. And looking at Colossians chapter 3, Verses 8 through 14. Where Paul gives very convicting teaching regarding our speech and our relationships. Today, we'll look at five graces which can help us to have healthy, joyful, and productive relationships. What do we do when we offend someone?
or are offended by them. What a difference there would be in our homes and in our churches if each one of us followed the teaching of Paul. Are you ready to hear it? Colossians 3 verse 8 But now you must put them all away. Anger.
Wrath, malice, slander. and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self, the old man, with his practices. and have put on the new self, the new man. which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator.
Here, there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian. Scythian, slave, free, but Christ is all and in all. First of all, in verses 8 and 9, we can learn that abusive speech Must end. What devastation Flows From sinful Speech.
Now, there are various forms of sinful speech Paul is going to say which must be discarded. And the first one mentioned is anger. The common emotion of anger is mentioned first. The next one, which is mentioned in verse 8, is wrath. This is rage.
This is not smoldering anger. This is an outburst of temper. The time bomb has exploded. It's like setting. Straw on fire.
Then third, there is malice. This malice is ill will. such as vindictive words intended to hurt or to cause harm. The fourth one is slander. This is sinful speech, character assassination.
Here is the fifth one. End of verse 8, and obscene talk. From your mouth. This would be cursing. Blasphemy, swearing, and the like.
In verses 9 through 11, he says that lying must end. Verse 9, Don't lie to one another, saying you have put off the old man with his practices and have put on the new man, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator, and so on. The context here is lying to one's fellow believers. We need to be reliable, we need to be truthful, we need to be people of integrity. When we carry out business, we must be truthful.
We mustn't mislead people to get that deal, to get that promotion. We must always be truthful. to her husbands, or wives, or children, or parents, or friends. No lying. Not pretending to be friendly to someone and then lying about them and gossiping about them behind their back.
A.W. Tozer says never pass anything on about anything else that will hurt him or her. Lying is very Serious. Proverbs six reminds us that the Lord hates a lying tongue. John 8.
Jesus says, the devil is the father of lies.
Now, if we're going to have healthy relationships, however, it's not sufficient just to put away all sinful speech. And lying, certain graces and virtues have to be put on. We get rid of all these old dirty clothes.
Now we've got to put on. Then you Clause. Beautiful graces. which produce healthy relationships. And these are set out in verses 12.
Through 14. These five graces and their five are to be put on like new clothes. These, in fact, are the graces of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is what it means, I think, when Paul in Romans 13, verse 14 says, put on the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ.
Our mission at church is that we are authentic followers of Jesus. That is, we want to display Jesus. We're not going to do that perfectly on earth. But when people come into contact with us, in the community. As we relate to our brothers and sisters in Christ in our homes.
How wonderful to think that our children, our friends, our spouses, our parents. Our brothers and sisters in Christ, as they interact with us, see something of Jesus Christ in us. I praise God for That when I see it in you. here at church. Here's the first one, verse twelve.
compassion. Put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved. Compassion. Compassion. Compassion is a deeply felt emotion.
of sympathizing with others, which leads to action. All of us have had the experience of feeling sorry for someone and saying, well, I wish someone would help them. That's not compassion.
Okay. Compassion is feeling the emotion. Of sympathizing with the person, but that leads to action. The Good Samaritan in Luke chapter 10 had compassion. He saw a need and he did something about it.
That's compassion. We who are followers of Jesus Christ. are to put on this wonderful Christian grace which characterized our Lord Jesus Christ. of compassion. put on compassion.
It's wonderful, isn't it, when people Show us compassion. We are to be compassionate people. The second one is kindness. Put on kindness. Kindness, these are acts of consideration and friendship for others.
We are always to be kind to one another. Remember, Paul says in. Ephesians 4, be kind to one another, tender-hearted. I love it when people are kind to me. Isn't it great to receive kindness?
Particularly if it's unexpected. An act of kindness, but Even in our own home. Our children are Our wives, our husbands, our friends, when they're kind to us. That's such a wonderful thing to receive. The question is.
Am I a kind? person. When was the last time? You did an act of kindness. to another person.
Men, are you kind to your wives? Kind to your children? Not because we're obliged to not to impress someone. But out of our love for Christ and others. Compassion?
Kindness. Third, Humility. In secular Greek life, Humility was despised. What's your melody? Humility is the absence of self-praise, of self-serving, of ego, of arrogance, of pride, of self-promotion, of telling people how great you are.
Inner fallenness. We like to make ourselves the center of attention, don't we? We like to be applauded. Arrogance and pride. are death to healthy relationships, aren't they?
Some of you have worked with A boss who was very arrogant.
Some of you know exactly. The problem in relationships. When there is ego. and pride. Humility Is the willingness to forego our own rights in the interests of others?
Do you think that's like Christ? Who was it that washed the disciples' feet? It was our Lord Jesus Christ. Peter says, and he saw this, of course, supremely modeled in our Lord: clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility towards one another. And humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of.
Good. We lived in Scotland. One of our elders as a very famous Um cardiac Physician, internationally known, and his uncle. was also a physician. Internationally known as a brilliant physician.
And one day there came into the hospital. This woman from the street. Dirty. Smelly. with some terrible medical condition.
And this brilliant physician. Treat the turtle. Yeah. and washed her and cared for her. And his non-Christian friends, colleagues said, of short.
He said he treated this old hag as if she were a princess. I thought that's what Jesus would do, isn't it? Humility. Treating someone In need. and putting their interests before Everyone.
The other one is related to humility and it is meekness.
Some translations say gentleness. This is the opposite of self-assertion, of insisting on our own way. This is a humility before God leading to a gentleness with others. What did Jesus say? In Matthew 11.
Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am. Meek. and lowly in heart. Our Lord.
The strongest of men, the most powerful of men. is also characterized by Gentleness. He takes the children in his arm. He reaches out and touches. A leper, the meekest and the gentlest of men.
No, meekness is not weakness. It is spiritual strength. Under the control of the Holy Spirit. I worked with An attorney Who said this? that to have the power to smite And not to use it is strength twofold.
That's very true in our words.
Sometimes, those of us who are quick with our tongue have the ability to humiliate someone and to put them down because of the way we express something. And my lawyer friends. was trying to teach me. John, sometimes Your real strength is shown. By not speaking, by gentleness.
You have the power to smite, you've got the power to do it, but you don't do it. That is strength twofold. That is the gentle, meek. person. And it's essential, isn't it, to healthy relationships?
The gentle person, the meek person, has a willingness to suffer a wrong rather than inflict a wrong. And then says Paul, Again in verse twelve, patience, patience. This endures wrongs and puts up. With the exasperating and irritating conduct of others or difficult circumstances. There's always plenty of opportunity to exercise patience in interpersonal relationships, aren't there?
When a couple get married, I always tell them, you're going to have plenty of opportunity to exercise patience. Daily Deliberately, consciously, prayerfully, intentionally, will you put on these graces? Compassion. Kindness. Humility.
Gentleness. and patience. This is the transformation Now, how are we doing in these areas? I think in verse Thirteen and fourteen. Paul gives us a little test that you can apply to yourself.
The five graces that we've just described are demonstrated by bearing with others and forgiving others. Verse 13. Bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. In good Relationships, in healthy relationships, there must be mutual forbearance. We must, in a sense, put up with one another.
Not one of us here is perfect. And we must, as we interact with her, is in her home in marriage. With her parents. At work and in the church, we must expect some tensions in relationships. There would be no need for forbearance if there were no difficulties or tensions or competing viewpoints, would there?
If everyone always agreed with me, I wouldn't need to show any forbearance, would I? If everyone agreed with you, there would be no need to be forbearing, but There are tensions. There are difficulties. There is always the need for forbearance and tolerance at work, in the home, and in the church. You remember the old saying?
To live above with the saints we love, or that will be glory. But to live below with the saints we know, well, that's another story. Very easy to me to say I love all of the Christians in China. Never been to China. It's very easy.
Oh, I love the Chinese Christians. How wonderful.
Some of you're tougher to get on with. And you think the same about me, I I I know that, I hear that. Mutual forbearance. Can I say don't take offense too easily, don't be so sensitive. Think how often You have offended others.
As someone has said, coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be yourself. We always think That person is difficult. Does it ever dawn on you that others are saying, You're difficult? That I'm difficult? We must stop always wanting our own way.
We must grow up, we must be mature. It's only children who want everything their own way. We must bear with one another, mutual forbearance. And then there must be, says Paul, not only mutual forbearance, mutual forgiveness. The verb here In verse 13 is in the present tense.
The point is: never stop forgiving. When you do not forgive, you are the loser. Brother, sister.
Someone that you need to forgive? I mean your own home, your own family. Harbouring bitterness. You say someone has wronged you. I understand that.
We've all been wronged. Will you forgive them from your heart? Yes, for that abusive speech. for the way they humiliated you, for the way they wronged you, for the way they put you down. But think.
of God's forgiveness of you. Dr. Thomas Bernardo was a great philanthropist and a strong Christian in England. And he opened many, many orphanages. He told the story of how a dirty, ragged Little boy on the street, homeless boy, approached him nervously in the streets one day asking if he would be taken into one of his orphanages.
Dr. Bernardo said, But I know nothing about you, lad. What have you in the way of a recommendation? The little fellow replied, Please, sir, I thought these would be enough. And he pointed to his rags.
Bernardo gathered him up in his arms and took him in. Isn't that what Christ has done for us? All we have is our rags. And Christ takes us. Not into an orphanage.
But he takes us into his own home as we turn from our sin and embrace the Savior. That's God's. Forgiveness. Most of us here have experienced God's forgiveness in our hearts. We've been forgiven so much over and over again now.
In God's name. Why can't you forgive? That person. Your father. Your wife.
Your son. Your brother in Christ, that colleague. Why are we so slow to forgive others when we have been forgiven so much? Don't be angry. Don't be bitter.
Forgive. And don't forget verse 14. And above all these Got all these graces on. Above all these, put on love. which binds everything together in perfect Harmony.
Love is the supreme virtue. O'Brien, in his commentary on these verses, calls it the crowning grace. I like that. It is the top coat, as it were, which covers all of the others, which holds them in place and empowers them. Paul tells us in verse 12 that we are God's beloved.
We are greatly loved by God and must display, yes, must display love to others. Without love, everything else falls to pieces. You know that in your own home. You may have a beautiful home. You may have plenty of money.
But without love it means absolutely Nothing. Here at church we've got a magnificent building. We think we understand their articles of faith and their doctrine. A growing church. Brothers and sisters, without love we are Nothing.
Isn't that what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13? You can do all kinds of things, you can impress people. But without love we are nothing. But Jesus says, as we sang, By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have loved one for another. Can I say to you?
Parents. Love your children. You say, well, of course we love them. Display Love. Proverbs says that the love that's concealed isn't very good love.
No, your children need To experience your love and to hear about your love. Man Paul says, love Your wives. I know she's not perfect. Love your wives as Christ loved the church. Love your friends.
How sad it is.
Sometimes people go through a whole lifetime and never know that some person really loved them or cared for them. Our love is to be displayed in acts of compassion, of kindness, of humility. All of these things are held together. and empowered by this spiritual love, this beautiful crowning Grace. Love your friends.
In fact, Jesus says, love your enemies. That obnoxious person at work. That difficult neighbour. Love them. Surprise them with your love.
You're a follower of Christ. You've experienced God's love. In your own power, you can never do it. Ask God. Through his spirit.
To flood your heart with love. Reach out with love. Will you put away these sins? of anger. of wrath Malice, slander, abusive speech, none of us are exempt.
Will you throw it all out? Ask God in His Spirit that your home would be changed. Do you understand that Christ died for all of these sins? Claim Christ's forgiveness.
Now put on these beautiful new clothes. You ready to do this? Compassion. You got compassion on? How about kindness?
Be kind. Children surprise your parents. Be kind to them. Humility. No room.
For pride, God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Meekness, that gentleness. Put it on. Patience. Hard for many of us.
Put it on. Exercise forbearance. And forgiveness. That is, we put on Christ. And above all of that, put on love.
Then, our relationships in our home, at work. And the community will be healthy, will be growing, will be loving and joyful. Honoring Christ. And a great blessing. to others.
This is the verdict, featuring the Bible teaching of Pastor John Monroe. There's still more to hear when John returns in just a moment, so stay with us. From matters of truth and identity, to the subjects of love and grace, our world seems more confused than ever. but to find truth and certainty about who we are and find peace, we must turn our attention away from the world and look to the Word of God. To help you do that, John wrote a booklet titled Eternal Security, Finding Certainty in a Chaotic World.
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Now, here's Pastor John Monroe.
Well, what's your verdict? I know you like people to be gracious and patient with you, but What do people say about you?
Some of you live or work with people who are arrogant and harsh and can never admit they're wrong. Don't be that person. Today let me remind you of God's love for you. Let me remind you that in Jesus Christ God offers you forgiveness.
Now show that love, that forgiveness to others, even difficult people. And next time, we'll think of the importance of thankfulness in the Christian life. Thanks for joining us today on The Verdict. I'm Michelle Davies. Today's program with Pastor John Monroe was produced and sponsored by Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina.
