Avizandam In Scots law, this term describes the careful consideration given by the judge before an important decision. Join me each week as we explore various topics from a spiritual perspective and take matters Avise endum Well, here we are for another podcast, and it's a little different because I've invited. A friend of mine, in fact, one of our pastors, uh Cameron and he's going to uh introduce himself a little bit. But I thought it's very important that we speak to parents on some very current issues.
So Cameron, uh give us a little bit About your background. I know you're married to the most amazing wife there is, other than my own.
So tell us a little bit about your family and your experience as. A youth passer. Yeah, so my name's Cameron. My amazing wife's name is Chelsea. She is a media director at a financial institution here in Charlotte.
She is a local here in Charlotte, which is rare to find. My five-year-old son, his name is Judah. My one-year-old son's name is Ezra, and we thought giving them biblical names they would automatically be obedient, and that was incorrect. But I've been in ministry now for 15 years and I've been working with teenagers that entire time, loving them. This is where God has directed me and have been enjoying that, growing in my faith, and really have felt this longing to help disciple students and partner with parents.
Yeah, Cameron, working with high schoolers can't be uh all that easy and I'm thinking of parents of high schoolers or parents of middle schoolers who will soon have their sons and daughters into high school. What are some of the challenges you face as a pastor? In communicating with those of that generation. It's far removed from mine. Of course, you're much younger than me.
much cooler, so you understand uh Their culture better than I do, but give us an inside look, as it were, of what. A youth pastor, a high school youth pastor. uh does and uh communicates to these uh Tens. You know, with communicating to the teenagers, I think it's important that we understand that you don't have to be overly relevant. You don't have to know all of the new words.
We don't have to understand some of the jokes, some of the things about student culture. What's important for students is that they understand and they are convinced that they are cared about. And if we come to them with that understanding, with that pursuit of them in their hearts, they become much more open to communicate, to talk.
So, their qualification to communicate well to you is not your age. It is not how cool you are, the cool factor, or what they would say, your aura level. Uh they are They are much more entwined to that, interested to communicate when they feel they are pursued, they are loved, and there's a safe space to communicate.
So, maybe to ask the obvious question: as a parent, how would they communicate? Uh that care Uh to their sons and daughters who are in uh high school. Because I know there's often tension between the students and the parents in the home.
So, what would What could some of the parents do? to minimize that and to really communicate that care. Which is so important, Cameron? Yeah, I think the most important part. If you want to communicate.
Uh your love to them. Communicate scripture, truth to them. I think it's important that we realize that no truth from scripture is one and done. You share truth with your student, they don't just automatically understand that. If we do this and continue.
To communicate with them over and over and over again, this is when they begin to attach to these truths. And if we're communicating with them, continually often uh it becomes much less awkward. Conversations that we feel might be awkward, even something like starting a family devotion. Many parents feel that there's a hindrance and awkwardness there. It doesn't become awkward if it becomes a regular routine thing in the home.
and a regular routine with with your relationship with your child. Uh Campbell, what about the Mm-hmm. Uh the high schooler. that just rejects this and says to their Parents. I'm not going to go to church.
I don't want to be part of this devotion because sometimes the high schoolers are a bit rebellious. Uh they've picked up maybe bad habits from Others at school, and I know that many parents find this very. difficult. For a high schooler when that high schooler perhaps wants nothing to do with the parent. A good question.
I think you lead by example. If you want them to understand the love of Jesus Christ, show them that instead of just communicating it or just bringing it up every now and then. Show that to them often. And we make decisions for our children every single day, all the way up to age 17, 18. And so making decisions for them, but allowing them to make the spiritual decisions for themselves.
Uh It's not the wisest thing to do.
So again, consistent communication, bringing in a really strong atmosphere of love, acceptance, asking them often, how are they doing? Asking them often gospel questions and evaluating their answers to these things, the important questions that we see in Scripture. Thanks, Carolina. That's very helpful. We live in a very difficult uh world.
a very different world from the one I was raised in. And so, are there warnings that you would give parents things to look for? in the lives of their Uh high schoolers or attitudes that can happen. Um that some of the parents are really struggling.
So What are things that they should be looking for? As they try to bring that love and care and that gospel atmosphere into their home. It's a really good question. What I would focus on that is how to get to the warning signs. A lot of the warning signs in a child is hidden in their brain.
It's hidden in their heart. Difficulties, identity issues, not understanding of who they are in Christ, they can lose that. It's very difficult to see what's inside a child's heart, what's inside a child's mind, unless you show them how. They're also not going to come to their parent. Your child's not going to come to you and give you, just very plainly, here is what's wrong with me.
They don't know how to do that. And so, a good step is to begin little conversations and help them and train them how to communicate what is going on with them. And this happens with just everyday conversations, showing them that you are very invested in them spiritually. Questions. How are you doing?
Uh and and go from there. Um ask them about their spiritual walk. Ask them what they think of certain aspects of the gospel. Read scripture with them and bring up these topics. Explain to them very plainly.
That your communication with them and your dialogue is a safe place. and that when they come to that dialogue with you, that they will not be judged. That they will not be forced away, that they will be accepted, that will be understood, that will be loved. and they will be cared for. give them that atmosphere and slowly and surely, they will begin to share with you what is in your heart and begin to understand what it means to verbalize any warning signs that you need to see.
Yeah, thanks for that, Cameron. I think also Sometimes a different environment to talk about these things. Perhaps in the car as you're driving. with your high schoolers or in a time Where you're Out, watching a game, on vacation, doing something fun.
Sometimes in these situations, it's perhaps easier for the high school and the parent to communicate at the level you're talking about. Cameron, any as we conclude this, what are some of the very important things you want to say to high school parents at this time? We very much appreciate all that you're doing. It's a tough, tough job that you have. I know you're called.
uh to it and do it very well. But uh any words of encouragement? Uh to parents. as we conclude this. Yeah, I think the comment that it's very difficult to raise children today, there's truth to that, but also raising a child.
There's also great simplicity. And the answers to how you raise a child according to Scripture, Scripture gives these to us. Um The one thing I would encourage parents with is that there hasn't been in 15 years of ministry, I've never seen a child or a teenager accidentally become strong in their faith. It takes absolute intentionality. And you don't have to be a Bible scholar.
To be intentional with scripture in your home with your children. Deuteronomy 6 is a famous text, and it gives. Uh a really good Uh command to As you are going, as you lay down, as you rise up, as you walk by the way, write scripture on your doorposts, on your gates, as you're going through life with your child. Impact them. And one thing I've read is Brian Haynes mentions and coined a term called God sightings.
This very interesting thought that Can you go through your calendar, the activities that you do, what you do as a family? What if you took these very regular everyday things and you gave them an eternal purpose? You mentioned John riding in a car. A lot of parents drive their children to their school every single day. What if you gave that ride an eternal purpose?
You read scripture together, you took that time to pray, you took that time to affirm the biblical identity of your child.
Something very, very simple, something very easy, but. uh often reoccurring.
So, I'd encourage everyone to consider that. What does it look like to give eternal aspects and eternal purpose to everyday things that we do as a family? What eternal purpose does your kitchen counter have? What eternal purpose does your dining room have, your meals together? How can you do that as a parent in very simple ways?
Yeah, I like that thought because often in raising children of any age, people just sort of drift along. We think things are going to change. We leave it to the church.
So Uh appearances. have to be active, not passive. and realize that God has given them the gift of these uh children, but also the responsibility to keep pointing them To the Lord Jesus.
So thanks very much, Cameron. Cameron's available for those of you who come to Calvary or from the Charlotte area. If he can help any parents in these aspects of life, Don't hesitate to contact him. Above Zender. You're listening to the weekly Avizandam podcast from The Verdict, featuring Pastor John Monroe.
John is Senior Pastor at Calvary Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Listen to John's daily program, The Verdict, on broadcast radio or major podcast platforms. For more information about the Verdict Ministry, visit us online at calvarychurch.com slash the verdict.
