Good Companions

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Welcome to the Masculine Journey. We're glad to have you with us today and I'm really glad we have a studio full of people. We haven't had this many people in a long time.

Have we, Rodney? Well, since I and many others bailed last week, we're all back now. Yeah, that's why I called on you. Of course, I bailed last week, too.

You said the trend. I used your same excuse. Did you? You were watching the dogs? Yeah, I was watching the dogs. We have ten of us in the studio today, which is really pretty cool. It would be easy to get lost with all the different names. I was watching the struggle counting everybody. Fortunately, it just stayed on my fingers. If we had more than that, it would have been tough.

You'd have to take your shoes off. Anyway, Harold, this is your topic this week. Tell us a little bit about it. It has to do with the impact of friends' choice that you make. We see the impact of that constantly. There's kids all over this country that are being planted underground because they chose the wrong friends. Friends are supposed to help you, not hurt you. And there's numerous examples in the Bible of people that chose the wrong group to join in with, and then they suffer the consequences thereof. And because with our brotherhood of Band of Brothers here, the idea of friendship is very prevalent in my thinking.

I can't imagine finding a better group to be a part of than this particular group. And looking back over the many years of my life, there were times when people that were supposed to be my friends were trying to get me to do things that were wrong, well, at least wrong for me. One of the most prevalent examples would be that I grew up with a father that had an alcohol problem, and that gave me an alcohol problem. I couldn't stand to be around it. And so when guys were saying, here, have a beer, and I said, no, I don't want them nagging at me, saying, well, how do you know you don't want it? So they were trying to take me in a direction that I didn't want to go in.

And so a lot of them did not become my friends as a consequence. So I think it's just very important that we know who we are and whose we are, and that our friends will help us to do the right thing rather than the wrong thing. Yeah, I think it's important to point out, you know, we're not necessarily judging people, right? It's the decisions they make and, you know, where they tend to invest their time, right? I mean, they may be good people, they just make bad decisions, you know, and those bad decisions have consequences. You know, all decisions have consequences.

And so, you know, making sure you're aligned with people that are going to make wise choices and go in the right direction. You remember my mom always asking me when I was growing up, if your friends wanted to jump off a bridge, would you do it too? Well, I actually did jump off a bridge with my friends. Part of what we did was not the wisest decision we ever did. But, you know, the river was at flood stage and wanted to see how fast we could swim to the bank, you know, as the river would take us down the, you know, down the stream.

And didn't really think about, you know, jumping on logs or anything like that, you know, and so, yeah, I literally did, you know, jump off a bridge with my friends, but probably not the wisest choice. And they were good people, they were just misguided, you know. Yeah, but I've gotten in the habit of watching a lot of the car chase things where the cops run people down, particularly in Arkansas. You do not want to cross the Arkansas State Trooper group. They will dump you in the side of the road in a heartbeat. But I've constantly seen people pulled out of vehicles and being handcuffed and they're not the driver. They just happen to be a passenger alone. But talk about choosing the wrong place to be at the wrong time.

Yeah, yeah, bad situation. We actually have our first clip. Do you want to tell us a little bit about the clip?

Well, I love this clip because as a fan of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I'm entranced with that. And one of the things that really appealed to me is that in this particular scene, it's the little guy that takes the bull by the horns and brings the group together to do what has to be done. And so, sticking up for the little guy. Now, why in the world would that be important to you?

I can't figure that one out. I've been little all my life, but big in some ways. But yeah, this to me is great because it shows what true friends do. They start out bickering and fighting, but once the little guy steps up and says, I'm going to do it, then they rally. And at the end, it talks about the Fellowship of the Ring. And to me, we're the Fellowship of the Radio. So identify closely with this. Well, here we go. I will take the ring to Mordor.

I do not know the way. I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Behm's, as long as it is yours to bear. By my life or death, I can protect you.

I will. You have my sword. And you have my bow. And my axe. Carry the face of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.

Here! Did Mr. Frodo's not go on anywhere without me? No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council. And you are not. Why, we're coming too!

We'll have to send his own tide up in a sack to stop us. Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest, thing. Well, that rules you out, then. I am companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring. Well, technically it would be better than the Fellowship of the Ring, because we have one more.

They had nine, we have ten. Just saying. Anyway, go ahead, Harold, tell us a little bit more about that one.

Anything else you want to add about that? It was a good clip, I like that. No, I just love the idea of backing up people that you believe in and that you want to help.

I mean, they were facing odds that would scare the pants off anybody. And yet they're saying, if you go, I'm going with you. And I love what Sam said, that you're not going anywhere without me. That's a true friend. Yeah, there was a couple of times he did that in that particular movie. He did it with Gandalf when he was listening in when Gandalf and Frodo were talking. And he did it again at this one, so he had a habit of being right there and jumping in when his friends needed him.

Imagine that, a hobbit with a habit. Yeah, that's tough to beat. Well, thanks, Harold, I appreciate it. Well, I would be remiss if we didn't go to Art's clip next. This is Art's first ever clip, so we definitely got to get it into this show. And he stole Rodney's, you know, one of Rodney's favorite movies to get it from. I got it first.

You got it first, but you stole it ahead of Rodney, which is great. I appreciated that ability to do that. So why don't you tell us a little bit about the clip. Well, thank you. Thank you for letting me talk, Sam. I appreciate that.

I have a few words to say about friends on this topic tonight. And this clip is from the Clint Eastwood movie called The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. And in it, Tuco has gone into a cave where some of his friends are kind of hanging out. And apparently, I haven't seen the movie in a while, but they're kind of hiding from him. They don't want to see him, and he starts talking out loud so that they can hear him.

He's trying to entice them to join him in an endeavor to go and ambush Clint Eastwood. So we'll play it and talk about it some more. Okay, here we go. Well, the part I want to talk about there is where Tuco says the world is divided in... I can't hear you.

The world is divided into two parts. I don't think we have any... Yeah, I can hear you. Oh, I can hear you.

I just couldn't hear anything. Go ahead. Okay, the world is divided into two parts. Those who have friends and those who are lonely, like poor Tuco. And I'd just like to say in my story, I was kind of lonely. I was poor Otoro, I was lonely. I was getting kind of isolated, living and working on a farm and not seeing a lot of people. A couple of older friends I had had passed away and I used to talk to them quite a bit. And then I got invited to come to this show with Harold and I come every week. And usually I've been kind of in training for a little over a year here. I come and sit on the couch and take notes and I've been trying to learn how to talk on the radio. You know, public speaking was never quite my thing, but I've bettered myself here.

Trying to learn a new skill. But the part about being lonely. But now that I'm here and have this fellowship with these guys, it has done me a world of good and I sure appreciate it. So just coming and just not really participating much, even just being here and being a part of this has been beneficial to me.

And I read a lot of news headlines and it seems like every once in a while I see a headline saying something like, as a society we are becoming lonelier. We'll catch you up after the break because we've got to go. We'll talk with you right after the break. How did God remind you who you were at boot camp?

Oh, in so many different ways from beginning to end. You better expect God to show up because He's going to show up. If you give Him the time, He's going to show up big at this boot camp. It's so important to me that I'm going to drive 550 miles to get there. You can spend three days laughing with your brothers and fishing, shooting.

It don't get no better than that. And then you're given time to spend time with God and He will talk to you. With the brothers, friends, the things that you're taught and the things that you think about. Just amazing experience all the way around. What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God. It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. I think sometimes as men we feel like we're on our own and we've got to do everything ourselves. And the way of the world is on our shoulders and it's our job to fix everything and make everything right and have all the answers. And I think when you come here you just get really honed back in and reminded that God really is for us. That a good Father helps you and a good Father makes you have all the tools you need and a good Father comes through for you when you need Him and you just feel less alone.

Register today at masculinejourney.org Welcome back to Masculine Journey. We are glad to have you back with us and Andy actually picked that bump for Harold. He knew Harold would like it because being a James Taylor being from North Carolina.

A North Carolina native and so that's a James Taylor song. We've got a friend and you've got a friend. When we left, Art was telling us a little bit about the story of coming on and joining the team with us and a little bit more about that so go ahead and share the rest of that. Art, sorry to cut you off before we went to break. That's okay, Sam. Let me just finish up here by saying I read a lot of news headlines and I've been reading, seeing the story lately that we're kind of becoming lonelier as a society and we're more people are living alone, maybe not engaging in some regular social activities.

And not only is it is it harmful to their mental well-being and spiritual well-being, it is it actually also affects their health and health goes down downhill because of it. And that's about as in-depth as I've been reading those stories. But it is important to have friends and I am grateful to have my friends here on the show. Yeah, it's definitely one of the things that, you know, COVID did for some people is they're still kind of in sequestered.

You know, they've never really recovered from that and so I can't imagine how lonely that must be. But Harold, you want to add some more onto that? Yeah, I wanted to say that Art is my Sam.

My sweetheart does not want me out driving at night. But because Art will come with me, I get to come. And so that's another part of that clip that I really identify with because I'm little like Frodo, but I've got my Sam and Art. And there's a couple things. I mean, Art's the big winner here because he gets the great meal before he comes, right? I mean, there is a big silver lining there for Art.

He gets a Jan meal before he's taken you in. And also, if you really want to learn how to talk on the radio, I think you need to go somewhere else to learn that. Yeah, because we ain't mastered that yet. We're working on it. Yeah, we're getting close.

Work in progress. Yeah, we're getting close. Well, Danny, you actually have the next clip. Yeah, this clip is from the Big Bang Theory show and I chose it because Sheldon, who's the problem child of the group, is trying to come up with an algorithm to choose friends. And, you know, most of us have been told all of our lives, choose your friends wisely. So he's developed this scientific method of trying to make a friend out of his archenemy. And I know this is a pretty good clip because Chuck chose it too. So that means it's a really good clip where both of us have poor taste in clips. But it just spoke to, you know, choosing your friends and we can talk about it afterwards. Okay, well we'll go ahead and play it then. I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.

Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends. Hear him out. If he's really on to something, we could open a booth at Comic-Con, make a fortune. See, my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies as those that played Stu the Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo. Stu the Cockatoo? Yes, he's new at the zoo. It's a terrific book.

I've distilled its essence into a simple flow chart that will guide me through the process. Have you thought about putting him in a crate while you're out of the apartment? Hello, Kripke. Sheldon Cooper here. It occurred to me that you hadn't returned any of my calls because I hadn't offered any concrete suggestions for pursuing our friendship. Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together. I see. Well then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage.

Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa. I see. No, no, no, wait.

Don't hang up yet. What about a recreational activity? I bet we share some common interests. Tell me an interest of yours. Really?

On actual horses? Tell me another interest of yours. Oh, I'm sorry.

I have no desire to get in the water until I absolutely have to. Tell me another interest of yours. Uh-oh.

He's stuck in an infinite loop. I can fix it. It's interesting, but isn't ventriloquism by definition a solo activity? I mean, tell me another interest of yours. Is there any chance you like monkeys? What is wrong with you? Everybody likes monkeys. Hang on, Kripke. A loop counter and an escape to the least objectionable activity. Howard, that's brilliant.

I'm surprised you saw that. Gee, why can't Sheldon make friends? All right, Kripke, that last interest strikes me as the least objectionable, and I would like to propose that we do that together. Tomorrow.

Yes, I'll pay. All right, goodbye. There have been several seasons in my life where I didn't make good choices with friends and hung out with some of the wrong crowds. But what I found is when I really need to be a part of a group or something, God has a way of putting me right in the middle of it. I know when we first started going to church in Ashboro at Sunset Avenue, we went to Sunday school and they took us to a Sunday school class. And everybody in there was a little older than Michelle and I at the time. Now we're like their age. But the and we were struck me as odd. But what it ended up being was it was a core group of people who did a lot of stuff around the church and they became lifelong friends. One of them, you guys have met Jim Biddy, still friends now. And, you know, he's several years older than I am, but I needed those people in my life. And then, you know, we signed up as a ministry to come to a boot camp and all we're really going to do is come to a boot camp. And as I was moving out of Ashboro, I landed in amongst you folks. And so, you know, been a great, great adventure in my life.

And, you know, you guys are real true friends. So it's kind of like the pros and the cons. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was interesting that Art chose the good, the bad and the ugly for this crowd. You know, so it goes together.

You're looking around at Feds. I was looking to see who was good. I hadn't come up with that one yet. We're still working on good. Yeah. Everybody thinks we are. We are good in our own mind. Yeah, that's right. We're the bad and the ugly. No, I have a mirror.

I know what that looks like. Well, Chuck, you also chose this clip. So you can tell us why.

Yeah, sure. It's really about the providence of God and distrusting in that. You know, I was going through a tough time in my life. And this clip kind of spoke to me because, you know, friendship is so important.

And if you look at the Big Bang Theory, they've got a common interest in mind. You know, I was a police officer for many years. And I was going through some stuff in my own personal life that just caused a great deal of turmoil.

You know, and I was having to go into work and answer calls. And all you see as a police officer, you know, most of the time is this negative thing. So when you're dealing with some negative things in your life, the last thing you want to do is deal with more.

But unfortunately, you have to face those. But just talking about the friendship, you know, I lost my B partner at that time. And it was someone I had grown very close with.

And so I was a little upset about that. But God placed someone in my life that, unbeknownst to me, He was going through some of the same struggles that I was going through at the time. And we were able to lean heavily on each other. And in that, because He was the right friend that God had placed in my life, we weren't able to draw on God and really pull each other through that time in our life. And we grew closer, you know, because of it and stronger because of it. And, you know, I would say we're both stronger people today, number one, because of God, but how we're able to rely on each other. And that's kind of what you see here, you know. We all have a common interest in mind, and that's Jesus Christ.

You know, without Him, we really have no interest at all. But, you know, I just love that clip, number one, because it's funny. But, you know, just that common interest and just really learning how to, as a band of brothers, draw on Christ. And then when one of us get out of line or we're not really feeding into that, we can say, hey, you know, step back in line, you know. Exactly. Well, thank you. Rodney, I think we have just enough time to get your clip in if you want to set it up and talk about it just a little bit.

Okay. This is from Pale Rider, so let's stick with Clean Eastwood Westerns. But it's about gold rush in California, and in here you're going to hear LaHood. He's the rich guy who's oppressing the other guys and trying to kick them out.

They're a bunch of panhandlers. And Clean Eastwood comes on the scene as the preacher, which Shocker here, right? He's actually a gunman.

Wow. Shocker, I know. So, don't want to spoil everything. But he comes in, he's trying to save these people, and LaHood's almost ran them out. He's done all these things to them. And one of the guys, Spider, hits it rich. Big old gold discovery, goes into town.

He's trying to rub it into LaHood's face. He's already hired the marshal Stockburn and his deputies, and they end up shooting Spider and killing him. And this scene right here is just after they've decided to make this whole pact on, yes, we're going to go together and we're going to stand up to LaHood because now the preacher's coming to life. And this is the sons kind of explaining and Clean Eastwood with something that's a very good nugget for them to understand.

All right, here we go. Then him and his men, they shot him forever. The bullets kept hitting him forever. It was him, wasn't it? Was that marshal you warned us about? Stockburn. Stockburn and his deputies. He said, tell the preacher to come in the morning. Why you? I think you warned us about this Stockburn fellow. It sounded like you knew him. Spider asked you that himself.

Is it true? The vote you took the other night showed courage. You voted to stick together, that's just what you should do. Spider made a mistake, he went into town alone. A man alone is easy prey. Only by standing together are you going to be able to beat the LaHoods of the world. No matter what happens tomorrow, don't you forget that. Got a brave man there, give him a decent burial. Preacher, you are going into town tomorrow, ain't you? How can you say that?

A man alone is easy prey. How often do we want to venture out alone and do it on our own power? It just took me into the one and others and a couple other places in scripture. And the one that really kind of stood out to me as I was reading through them was Colossians.

And that's in chapter 3, verse 12 through 14. So as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And here's kind of the big part here for us, bearing with one another, that banding together, coming together as one rather than a bunch of individuals going off on our own and fighting our own battles. We're going to fight the battle together in Christ. And forgiving each other, which is something that's really hard to do a lot of times. Whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you, beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And that's what, again, I see us doing here, like we've talked about, we've had breakups, we've had fights, we've had things that were coming against each other, but we always kind of come back into one another. Yeah, we do. That's a great point.

Thank you. Yeah, you can't stand alone, right? If you stand alone against the onslaught, you're not going to go well. And even a group of us without Jesus in the midst of it, we're not going to succeed. So we have to have it there. Well, we do have a boot camp coming up, and it's the weekend before Thanksgiving in November. Go to masculinejourney.org to register. We'll talk with you next week. Stay tuned for the After Hours at your favorite podcast.