Scars And Bruises

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This is the Truth Network. But life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

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We're glad that you're with us this week. And we have a interesting topic that we're talking about. I think it's interesting anyway. And so we're talking about scars and bruises. I'm just gonna let that set for a minute. Just let you think about it. What do you think we're talking about with scars and bruises?

Yeah, I don't know either. No, we're gonna we're gonna be talking about the role of scars and bruises and really who you give the power of those scars and bruises to is vital on how you live your life, how you look at your life, how you survive your life or feel like you can't survive your life. It all comes down to where do you give those two things to along with other things, but do you give it the power of those to God or do you give them to the enemy?

And so we're going to talk a little bit more about that this this week and talk about just the roles that they play. And as I was thinking about this today, I was actually thinking about it in the movie Lion King came up. And so if you've seen Lion King, if you haven't, you know, first of all, where you been, it's been around for a long time. Either you haven't had kids of the right age to watch it, or you just don't like animated movies. But, you know, the Lion King, and there's an unanimated version of it. There's a live version.

It's not quite as good, but it's good. But the uncle in the movie, Robby was the name of the uncle. Do you remember? Scar?

Yeah. Jim, do you remember why Scar was called Scar? Because he had a scar.

He had a scar on his face. On his face. Yeah. Yeah.

In front of everybody. Right. And so, you know, all the time, he's reminded constantly, Scar, Scar, Scar, you know, the thing that you bring to life or the thing that you bring, the most important thing about you is this wounded deformity that you have on your body. You know, and so no wonder he was kind of a bitter person.

I mean, that's his label that he lives in life with. And there was more going on than that. But I just thought about how mean as little kids, you know, we are, because we often find something about someone, and that's what their nickname becomes.

Right. And you don't really think about it as a little kid. You just kind of grow up and that's the way it is.

But it happens, you know, a lot. And you guys could probably share stories of things that you heard of kids that you knew. I remember a kid that, I don't know, he's a man now, obviously, but he was a couple years younger than me. So he's got to be in his 50s at this point, but we always called him Moonwatcher. I don't even remember his real name. We called him Moonwatcher, and I don't know how he got that, but he would walk along and ride along with his head cocked at a weird angle, and it always looked like he was looking up in the sky.

And so we always called him Moonwatcher, and that became his name. And I don't even remember what his real name was, you know, the whole time. And at the time, you don't really think of it as being mean, but it really kind of is.

Because you're giving this person an identity that's based upon something that's less than positive. Right. And so we're going to kind of go through that.

Anyone want to add something before we get to the first clip? Well, actually, you talked about the comedian that I thought that was hilarious. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That he had the childhood friend that had lost his eye, you know, and put a glass eye in there, and they called him Aimer. And I didn't get that at first until you kind of close one eye, and you kind of hold out a pistol looking thing, you go, Aimer. Yeah, it's like he's pointing, like he's shooting.

Yeah, that's what the comedian was saying. He didn't even know the guy's name. He said, I just knew him as Aimer. You know, and so one day they went in school and they're like, is Steven here? And everybody's like, what? Or whatever the name was. And he's like, well, I don't go by that.

I go by Aimer. And the teacher's like, why? And he kind of closes one eye and points his fingers at her like, this is why, you know. But for him, it was an identity. You know, it wasn't a negative.

He didn't let it be a negative thing. But yeah, we're kind of talking about that. So we have a clip, and we have lots of clips where people are comparing scars. Surprisingly, it happens quite often. And so we're going to talk about maybe why that happens pretty often. But Jim, you have the first one from the TV show Arrow.

That's correct. I got thinking about real scars. I'm probably going to have one thanks to Danny's low threshold at his house, which I then re-injured on the top of my head with a ball cap in RE3. So we're going to keep that one. And then I bruised my ischium while trying to get out of people's way. I was afraid of that.

I really don't want to know anymore. Moving right along to Arrow. It was a good show. My wife and I watched it.

It was a little bit dark, but it was heroes that were keeping their city safe and that was connected to some other hero show. I don't even remember what that was. But in this, we've got the three fighters that are practicing stick fighting. And we have kind of the brainy girl jumping in at the end. And it's comparing scars.

Right. So we'll listen to that and come back. Sarah, I'm so sorry. It's okay. I'm fine. Let me see. Let me see. She's bleeding. It's not deep. Good.

I can't take any more scars. Speaking of. Mortar round? Yeah. IED to Patekah Province, Afghanistan. Good eye.

I know. My wounds. Grenade.

Algiers. I've never been hit by a grenade. All those scars you've never been hit by a grenade? Arrow. Knife. Knife. A lot of bullets. No grenades. I got myself a new bullet.

Nine millimeter. Right there. 38. I'm mostly swords and a spear. I have a scar. Actually, in my mouth. I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 16.

Three stitches that were really badly impacted. You're still cute. I actually fell in love with this clip when I heard it. And I did really remember it from the show. But I identify with the girl at the end. I feel like I've had a very blessed life. And I just explained most of my scars and bruises in the beginning of this clip. One of my bigger wounds really is that I feel like I cannot be trusted with the major stuff. And it's sort of a survivor guilt thing. But I have lived and my wife says, you've got plenty of wounds.

I say, well, yeah, we do. But most of mine turn into bruises real quick and are forgotten. And the really big ones are ones that God has healed.

And so that's it's a matter of turning those over to him. And, yeah, we all have our scars, both physical, emotional and spiritual that will carry through until we're home. But if we turn them over to the one who was wounded on our behalf and has the scars to prove it, then the other things become a little easier to deal with. I agree. The reason I wanted to play that clip and you're kind of articulating the point is sometimes we minimize things, right?

I mean, she's joking a little bit, right? And Jim, knowing you as well as I do, God's healed you from some pretty cool stuff. So if you were to sit down and share that with somebody that's not healed from it, boy, how impactful.

And I know you do that in counseling, right? But how impactful is that to go in and talk about the scars that no longer hold any weight for you? And that is important for all of us to get somebody that understands our scars.

And there's one person that understands them all. Absolutely, absolutely. And I think the other thing I want to mention is sometimes, you know, we may look at something and it's just a little flesh wound. It's just a little scar, right?

Monty Python would be a good place to go. I was thinking about that. But yeah, what I was thinking with that is a lot of times it's when we're talking to boot camp and people are talking about their wounds, right?

One of the first things to say is, you know, don't ever judge somebody else's wounds because you don't know what the enemy's done with them. Right. I mean, it may seem something so small to you that it would be finite. I mean, yeah, just finite, right?

It's hardly anything and I can get past it. But for someone else, it may look like an infinite problem that can never get past, right? And so judging those scars or judging those things are only between you and God, right? When we give the power of whether it's valued or not valued or too big for anyone to handle, we give that stuff to the enemy or to society or to life. Man, we're not going to win that battle. That's when it's going to come back and haunt us.

And it's giving that to God and saying, God, okay, what can you do with this? And we're going to have lots of clips and conversations about that as we go. Robby, you actually have the second clip and we may have to come back and finish the conversation with you after the break. So we'll go ahead and let you talk about it. Well, this clip is just from Everybody Loves Raymond and it's a typical scene that starts the show and Raymond is going to keep a bruised journal.

And so just play the clip and we'll go from there. What are you doing? I never remember where I get these black and blue marks and it freaks me out. So you're starting a bruised journal? Yeah, yeah, I just hurt myself. Shin on toilet.

Light to medium impact. So I feel so blessed that God talked to me before I started to get some of the more serious bruises of my life and told me to journal really in a very unique way. I was flying to Copenhagen at the time and he came over the loudspeaker to me and said, listen, what I want you to do. And I started to do it just, you know, and I never kept a journal as a kid or anything else, but I started to keep a very complete journal of how our adventures were. Well, you know, within a year or two of that is when I got cancer and then I got crushed by the Jeep and I got, you know, the thing with my brain and all sorts of extensive wounds. That's a small list.

That's a very small list. And it's really, really very helpful to have a journal to see where God came for you in those particular things because you forget so much and the enemy steals so much of what actually took place. But, and then obviously people that know me, I could go on and on about the physical wounds, but the emotional, spiritual ones are really more difficult.

And, you know, the one where I was addicted to pornography is I've had an opportunity to share that wound, that scar, right? It's unbelievable how God has taken my brokenness through his strength and helped other people. Like, it just blows me away the people that have been impacted by me sharing the story of getting my innocence card back and how God did that for me. And so his power is made perfect on our weakness in such beautiful ways that people can relate to somebody who's broken and then how God has come to the rescue.

And again, he's the hero of the story in those and the whole idea of allowing people into your story, right? And it may not seem like a big deal to you, those flesh wounds, but as you share the comfort that God comforted you with, you really can help a lot of folks. You can, and it changes your whole outlook on everything, right? When you have the victories with God over time, you realize that what I'm facing today is going to be a victory in the future that I can go back and talk about. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming bootcamp the weekend before Thanksgiving, masculinejourney.org. What we have in our bootcamp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God. It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. I think sometimes as men, we feel like we're on our own and we've got to do everything ourselves.

And the weight of the world is on our shoulders and it's our job to fix everything and make everything right and have all the answers. And I think when you come here, you just get really honed back in and reminded that God really is for us. That a good father helps you and a good father makes you have all the tools you need.

And a good father comes through for you when you need him and you just feel less alone. Register today at masculinejourney.org. It is a tight bond of men, everybody's the same, and each and every time that I've come to bootcamp, I've learned something different. And not one man that's ever been there neglects not to take time out to talk with the sheriff. It's serious business and you need to come one time to break bread with the men, to fellowship, feel the atmosphere, hear the people pray, and get down to earth about what's going on in life and get real. Register today at masculinejourney.org.

Welcome back to Masculine Journey. We are talking about scars and bruises. And that was a bump that I had put in and it's from a group called Train. And in this song what you're hearing is a guy goes back to his class reunion and runs into an old girlfriend. And they're talking and they're both, you know, they're not like interested in each other as far as dating or anything. She's married and they're just talking about life and it turns to a place where they really share their hearts.

And so what I really liked about this chorus when it comes up here, it's like my face ID doesn't want to work. But it comes up and what you heard, it says these bruises make for better conversation. They lose the vibe that separates. And what he's saying there is when we don't share those things that happen to us, we don't share those things that aren't great.

If we don't share those with brothers and people, we can trust our hearts, that their hearts towards us are good. It loses something. It loses the depth. It loses the relationship. And there's something that separates us when we feel like we live all alone, right? We kind of pull back and so it talks about that.

It says it's good to let you in again. You're not alone in how you've been. Everybody loses. We all have bruises. And I think it's something to remember. We all have them. And we want to act like we don't. We all want to be John Wayne, you know. And oh, it's not going to hurt me.

It's too far from my heart to kill me. And all those things, you know, you hear, but they do make an impact on us. They do make a difference. And sharing those things makes a big impact on others' lives.

Robby, you're talking about before the break that, you know, sharing about the battle with pornography. I mean, statistics I saw probably seven, eight years ago, it was like 66% of men struggle with it. And that includes pastors. It includes all walks of life. And I'm sure it's higher now, right? And so obviously, you know, you share that.

It's going to hit the majority of people, you know. And so you being able to share that with people is huge. Because you've got to know there is an answer to the problem, you know.

And God's the answer. And this is how he did it in your life. I was listening to the clip and you talked about it being at a reunion. And I went to my 10th, 20th, and most recently, skipped a few years, the 50th anniversary. And it's amazing how different you remember people from your past. When you talk to them and say, oh, I wasn't that super confident kid that won every award.

I was just as terrified as everyone else. If we could remember that, that's a great point of that bump. Thank you. David, you actually have the next clip and I don't mean to sound surprised. But, you know, it is a kind of monumental show.

You've got the first clip. You're actually in the show. You're here. You're actually here this week. I mean, that's monumental in itself that you're here live with us.

Now they're flying. Fair enough. I mean, you know, I've been pretty busy lately. So I apologize for being here. That's a wound and a scar and a bruise. So we can talk about that one later.

My loyal listener, Bob, I know I'm sorry that I've let you down for these last few shows. So, yeah, my clip is, you know, one of Sam's favorite all-time movies, Forrest Gump. And it's the scene.

I actually use this clip to not pose or anything like that. I used this clip last year for our Destiny show. So I just basically copy and pasted it this morning because I'd been busy at work and not really basically throwing it out there. I was like, oh, Sam's going to hate this clip and really not having any idea of where I was going to go with it. And it was kind of cool how it just played out throughout the day to really kind of unfold into something that, you know, really brought out some scar that I wasn't. I mean, I knew it was there, kind of, but never really thought about it more like we were talking a while ago, like a flesh wound. Like, oh, that was just a part of my life. It wasn't a big deal.

But ultimately it was. So, you know, about 10 years ago, give or take a year or so, you know, I was in a pretty bad spot in my life. I had already separated and divorced from my children's mother, was at that time dating another girl, not dealing with wounds. So I did a bunch of stuff that, you know, a loyal partner wouldn't do when they're loyal and ultimately got kicked out the house. So I was I was, quote unquote, homeless, stayed with a buddy about 45 minutes away, had to get a ride from another buddy to get there because I didn't have a car, didn't have a job. Didn't really know what I was going to do and was really struggling with that. Ultimately started walking to a restaurant, not too far from there and saving money, got a car, ended up getting back up on my feet and, you know, getting my life situated.

And, you know, looking back at it now where I'm at in my walk with God, I know that was God 100 percent. I couldn't do it myself. I thought I was doing it myself and struggled doing it myself. But fast forward to today in the industry I'm in, I deal with some.

They call it in Denver, they call urban camping. So some of our homeless population I have to deal with on a daily basis. And it was really frustrating and bothered me a lot on a daily basis to the point where I was like, I don't even know if I want to do this job because like, why would I want to come into work every day and tell people, hey, you already have a bad enough life. You can't hang out here anymore, though. And so today, towards the end of my shift, it was one of the last customers I helped was a guy that was down on his luck, didn't have any money, ordered some food, was trying to, you know, ask me to sweep the parking lot, take out the trash, whatever you could do to get some food.

And I was like, you know, we can't do that. But I tell you what, how much money do you have? And he said a couple bucks and he ultimately had a dollar. And I was like, OK, I'll take care of your food.

You know, I want you to eat. And, you know, he was very appreciative of it. You know, it was begging me to do things for it, didn't want to take a hand out. And I was like, you know, sometimes it's just the right thing to do to help people. And it got me to look at I wasn't really angry at the fact that that I was having to do that on a daily basis of telling people to leave and trying to, you know, basically hurting people out of out of my parking lot. It was I was more angry because I could see that these these folks can come out of it. And I did. And how did I do that when, you know, when I was in my mid 20s, you know.

Live in my life, definitely not the way I should be. And ultimately it was God. So this is Forrest Gump. This is the scene where Lieutenant Dan is in the hospital bed next to Forrest.

He's obviously lost his legs at this point from the war. He crawls off the bed and talks to Forrest. And ultimately it's his scar you're seeing unfold.

And then throughout it, you kind of hear about a bruise for Forrest. So we'll listen to it when we come back and talk. You listen to me. We all have a destiny.

Nothing just happens. It's all part of a plan. I should have died out there with my men. But now I'm nothing but a cripple, a legless freak. Look, look, look at me. See that?

Do you know what it's like not to be able to use your legs? Yes, sir, I do. Did you hear what I said? You cheated me. I had a destiny. I was supposed to die in the field with honor. That was my destiny. And you cheated me out of it. Do you understand what I'm saying, Gump? This wasn't supposed to happen.

Not to me. I had a destiny. I was Lieutenant Dan Taylor. You're still Lieutenant Dan.

Look at me. What am I going to do now? So, yeah, I mean, as you can see, you know, Lieutenant Dan, if you've seen the movie Forrest Gump and hopefully you have, I mean, it's one of the greatest movies on Earth. You know, too bad you couldn't see the scowl that Sam just gave me. So but it you know, he's living into that scar and into that wound and kind of trying to get through it himself.

And a lot of times as men, I mean, even some women, just as human beings, when we get a scar, whatever it is, emotional, spiritual, physical, we go our natural habits goes, the woe is me. And, you know, how am I ever going to fix this? What am I going to do? It's the end of the world and blah, blah, blah. Well, you know, that's what the enemy wants. He wants to keep you isolated, make you think that there's no way out.

There's no hope. Break you down even more. Create hopelessness, create shame for whatever the reason may be. And then, you know, just hold you tight there. And the more you look into it and lean into God's and get his understanding and walk through this with him, the easier it is to come out. So I say this to say this or say that to say this. Say it. Yeah.

What are you saying? I mean, it's kind of hard. I'm sitting in Andy's chair right now. So Sam, the way Sam can stare from where he's at right now is just very, very not intimidating. It's intense. Yeah, it's intense. But, you know, we talk about comparing scars in the other clips and everything like in Jim's clip. I don't really look at it as necessarily comparing scars like me and Robby sitting next to each other. Oh, look at that.

What do you got? This one. It's more of us sharing our experiences because ultimately there's somebody somewhere, whether they're listening to this now or listening to us at boot camp, that are either going through the same thing, have gone through the same thing and just don't know how to dig themselves out.

And you just got to lean into God for it and know that there's men and women and just human beings in life that have gone through the same thing and overcome it. Yeah. You just miss kids.

We already established kids are mean. They were able to revisit this topic in six months so that the wounds that y'all have dealt each other become scars. That's where it could be. It could be. It happens. I mean, that's why I come to the show.

It's like every time I come, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm healed. Nope. Sam rips it open and stuff. Yeah. Well. Not rip. That's kind of.

When you start having better choices of movies. I mean, you played it. I was surprised. Yeah, it was a good story. I appreciate it. No, it was good, David. Thank you for sharing that. It was good. Harold, do you have anything you'd like to add to this?

We got just a minute or so. Well, I think that there's a difference definitely between bruises and scars. Bruises are temporary. Like when you're on a blood thinner like I am, you get them real easy on your arms and stuff. Scars are permanent.

They they remind you of something that happened that you shouldn't forget. They can be good scars or they can be bad scars. Like I got a scar on my left forearm where they took an artery. I got a big, long scar down my right leg from the knee to the ankle where they took a vein. And I got a nice little scar down the center of my chest where they broke me open. That's a good set of scars because I'm alive. I flatlined twice and they paddled me and got me back and the Lord's given me all those years since then.

Twenty some odd years. So those are scars that I'm happy to have. They remind me of the blessing that I've received by still being here to do whatever it is he needs me to do. Thank you. I know at your age you probably won't ever consider getting a tattoo. But if you did, you could get an Auburn football right on your chest and then you could use the scar to be the seams of the football. I'm just saying. If you're going to get one, you might as well get one.

But you can do that if you want. I was like, was he misbehaving? They paddled him.

They did. Well, a great place to go work on scars and bruises is a boot camp. And we have one coming up November, the weekend before Thanksgiving. When is it running? Is it the 16th through the 19th? It's something like that. It's a weekend before Thanksgiving.

So it's a Thursday night around dinnertime until Sunday around noon. And it's a great place to get away. Spend time with God. Let God work on those things that really need work done. Also have an opportunity to share with others if God calls you to do that or listen to other stories. It's an amazing thing to do. MasculineJourney.org. We'll talk with you next week. This is the Truth Network.