Don't Look Back

This is Hans Scheil from the Finishing Well Podcast.

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So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call The Masculine Journey. The Masculine Journey starts here now.

Welcome to The Masculine Journey. We're glad that you're with us this week, and I'm really glad to be back this week. It seems like a long time since I've seen you guys.

Actually, it's just a couple days ago, but for some of you it didn't seem that long. But for others, it seems like a long time since I've seen you, and it's glad to be back in the studio with you. And I'm really excited about the topic we're talking about tonight.

And Andy, it is your topic, so if you'd like to tell us a little bit about it. Do I have to? You should.

It would help for the rest of the show if we could set it up just a little bit. Does that mean you won't sit here and stare at me if I do? I won't look at you the rest of the show.

It'll be good for you and me. All right. Well, I won't...

It does not sound like Andy is moving forward. Well, I won't look back. Okay.

Yeah. So the topic is don't look back. And sometimes I get my inspirations from some songs that we'll hear at the bump, but really the inspiration I felt like God led me into was the scripture Philippians 3, 13 and 14, Brother, I count not myself to have apprehended, but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. And there's other scripture like in Isaiah about forgetting the past. And, you know, that's what was on my heart. But as we begin to discuss it as a team, I begin to realize a lot of our ministry deals with the past and we don't want to just, we want to rightly divide the word of truth and kind of dig into that or what that means because we know that you have to go back and deal with wounds.

I mean, that's a big part of what we're talking about. And I think there is a context of what that pressing, you know, forgetting things of the past and pressing on towards that high calling. And, and I think anything that you remember that keeps you in that past, that's a negative past.

It's a, it's, it's getting in the way of you and God. You know, you want to leave those things, but going back and actually getting some wounds healed to me is a form of pressing on to the high calling of Christ Jesus. So I talk with a lot of guys and in the ministry and friendships, whatever, and I find that a lot of people, I see a lot of people coming out of it, but I also see a lot of people still remembering the past and some of them, they're past their wounds, but they're reminded of the failures that they had in the past. Failures and wounds are not necessarily the same thing.

Wounds are something that was done to you that you didn't really have any control of. Failures are things that you may have done yourself that brought these things on you, this suffering upon you, but yet God wants you to be free from that as well. And that's why he wants you to think, you know, my, my desire is to keep marching forward to a closer relationship with Jesus. Yeah.

And as you look back at when Jesus announces his ministry, right, he's come to heal the broken hearted and set the captives free to release from darkness prisoners, the prisoners from darkness. Right. And so that's what he's talking about.

It's if the past is keeping you in a place of shame, guilt, condemnation. Yeah. We got to step away from that. That's not a healthy place to be. That's, you know, I'm stuck in the middle right there.

I'm kind of stuck in that, that bad spot. But you know, moving through that and into that, that promise of Jesus and Isaiah to have healing. Wow. That's why he came.

He came to heal the broken hearted and set the captives free. And, and so the difference is whether we're captive or not captive. Right. Yeah. Right.

It's getting to that freedom. And so we have our first clip, which is from Danny. Yeah, it's from the movie Lion King. And it is an interchange between Simba and Rafiki. And they're talking about the past. And there's kind of an object lesson in it where Rafiki takes a stick and knocks him in the head. And you hear him say he's taking the stick later in the clip, but it's a good interchange about dealing with your past, but moving on. So let me play the clip.

What was that? The weather. Very peculiar. Don't you think? Yeah. Looks like the winds are changing. Change is good. Yeah, but it's not easy. I know what I have to do, but going back means I'll have to face my past.

I've been running from it for so long. Ow. Jeez.

What was that for? It doesn't matter. It's in the past. Yeah, but it still hurts. Oh yes.

The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. Ah, you see? So what are you going to do first?

I'm going to take your stick. Yeah. Such a good life lesson that you know, to, to learn from your past and then didn't move forward.

And that's kind of what, when Andy brought up his topic, what I thought about, I immediately thought of that clip because number one is hilarious. And, but just to watch a monkey crack that line across the head. But, um, and, uh, but to know that, you know, I've been cracked across the head a lot, probably why I'm bald, but, um, to, to know that I don't have to live in my past and, you know, having a past of, you know, stuck in certain places, you know, an addiction and just thinking that dictates who I am and it doesn't. Yeah. I found a quote from TD Jakes is we cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to the past wounds and nursing old grudges. And that's what you guys were talking about. You open it up is if you hold those things and just the grudges and you can't move forward, it blocks, you know, your, your future. And so, and you can just live there. And I think that's what Paul was talking about was, you know, forgetting those things, let them go.

In other words, they have no hold on me anymore. So I think part of the, that's a great clip. You know, I love that clip. Part of the things in there is the key is if the past holds pain, Rafiki says, yes, the past can be painful with the past holds pain. That's definitely a place where Jesus needs to enter. Right? Because even there's some a lot of painful things in my past that were painful at one point, that I can look back and go, there's no longer pain there. There's still memory, there's still things that happen, there's still events, but the pain is gone.

Right? And that's, that's where I know I'm in a lot healthier place with the past. I'm not stuck there, but I can learn from it, move on and grow from it. I had a pastor who used to say that it was true in the physical is true in the spiritual. And I always, I've got a scar on my, my bicep right there where I stabbed myself with a box cutter once had stitches and everything.

And I used to use it as a teaching object lesson because yes, it happened. And yeah, you can see the scar, but there is no pain there anymore. And I think that's true in our, in our inner beans is that you're, you're exactly right.

There are things that I can talk about in my past that they were there. They were painful at the time, but they no longer have a sting to them. They're just a scar. Right. Jimmy had some, well, you know, one of the, the most significant thing in your clip to me was that he ducked the second time the stick was swung at him. So he is moving forward. And at least for me personally, most of my wounds have been self-inflicted and you learn from your mistakes or you're destined to repeat them.

And if you learned to duck the next time temptation sweet takes a swing at you, it doesn't hurt, but it may remind you of the past, but it's not taking you back to the past. Yeah. When you come walking in with your stick, I was concerned we were going to have a reenactment in the night's not over. I'm kind of worried. I want to outside the room because people are starting to look at my stick during your clip. And this is a buddy of mine.

He's my friend. So don't mess with it. I mean, it is a nice stick. I was wondering if you were using it to walk earlier, if you're keeping it for a weapon, I wasn't sure. Yes.

Okay. I think it was interesting in that clip. And we can, we can move on from there though, that for Simba to move forward, he's moving forward, but he's moving back to the past at the same time, right? I mean, he doesn't want to go back to where the pride was and where all that stuff was and all the pain. But in order for him to move forward, he's being called right back to that same place with a different attitude.

He's going back to deal with what was causing him to pain. Yes. So, yeah. Yeah.

So I think it is a big difference. Robby, how you doing today? We're glad to have you with us. Oh, it's always great to be here. Yeah, thank you. That's good. Well, I'm going to go ahead and play another clip real quick before we go into break.

And this is my clip. It's from the Lord of the Rings and this is one we've used in the past, but you have Gandalf who is talking with Frodo and Frodo's wishing that the ring had never come to him. The events of the past hadn't come to him. And I want you to listen to the perspective that Gandalf gives him. I wish the ring had never come to me.

I wish none of this had happened. So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of Ivo.

Bilbo was meant to find the ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought. For me with that clip, there's so many things that, you know, we're often find ourselves in a place where we say, I wished I wasn't here. I wished I didn't have to deal with this. You know, that's called life, you know, and that's called broken people being around you and making decisions and them impacting you and you making bad decisions. And we all live that and we all universally feel that. But I love the way Gandalf says two things in that. He says, we all wish that, but it's not for us to decide.

Meaning there's more going on here than what you really see. And you got to believe that God's got control. He may not want you in that situation, but he's got control of the outcome if you let him step into that, you know, and all you can really do is decide what to do at the time you have left. Don't be stuck in the past.

Let's move forward. And I love the fact that he gives him perspective. You know, I think that the difference in anything is, is when I have the correct perspective and I'm listening to a wise counsel when I'm listening to Jesus, that's going to end well. When I'm not listening to wise counsel and I'm listening to the enemy, I'm going to end up in a place that's not good. The exact same thought patterns go in different directions depending on who's guiding the conversation, who's guiding my heart, who's guiding my thoughts. That all makes an impact of where we end up. And so for me, that's a great clip that speaks to that. Yes, the past has a hold on us, but we need to also look at it with a clean perspective through God's eyes and look at it and say, where do we go from here?

You guys are all shaking your head or anything. An important part of what you just said is, and God's got control of the outcome regardless of our choice, and he will do the best with what we give him. But our only control comes in where we're focusing, whether it's a God centered or self centered.

Exactly. And just letting him lead us and guide us and direct us. We do have a boot camp coming up. I know it just seems like we just finished in boot camp. We're finishing entrenchment. We will have a boot camp coming up March 30th through April 2nd.

It is an advanced boot camp. What an amazing thing. Go register at masculinejourney.org. We'll talk to you after the break. It is a tight bond of men.

Everybody's the same. And each and every time that I've come to boot camp, I've learned something different. And not one man that's ever been there neglects not to take time out to talk or to share.

It's serious business. And you need to come one time to break bread with the men and fellowship, feel the atmosphere, hear the people pray, and get down to earth about what's going on in life and get real. Register today at masculinejourney.org. What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God. It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. I think sometimes as men, we feel like we're on our own and we've got to do everything ourselves and the weight of the world is on our shoulders and it's our job to fix everything and make everything right and have all the answers.

And I think when you come here, you just get really honed back in and reminded that God really is for us, that a good father helps you and a good father makes you have all the tools you need and a good father comes through for you when you need him and you just feel less alone. Register today at masculinejourney.org. Well, welcome back to The Masculine Journey.

And Andy, that was your bump. Rocking out. Yeah, you want to talk a little bit about it? Well, I've always liked that song. And, you know, a lot of times you hear songs and you don't really get the lyrics. And as I go into the lyrics, you know, some of it's not exactly scriptural. But the idea is, is about leaving those things behind. And, you know, that you come to a realize to a point. To me, it's the realization that that you can be bound up by the past and that you do need to move forward again with this process that we're talking about with letting the Lord heal and leave. But that's, you know, it's a lot of times we take these secular songs and they touch something in our soul that really gets into a spiritual idea or a topic. Actually, they lead into it.

And that's kind of how that happened. So who's the group? Boston. Boston. Boston, yeah. Yeah, Boston. That reminds me of sitting in my garage working in California. I always had Boston playing.

I don't know why, but I played that a lot. But so, yeah. I'm looking back. Hey, ironic.

That's right. The irony, the irony. Harold, you had something you wanted to share with us. Yeah, I'm in agreement with what's been said about not looking back and living there. But the thought occurred to me that one of the great values of being able to look back is to keep us humble. If we don't look back and see our goof ups, we can have a tendency to get high and mighty on our own and we don't belong there.

But looking back and seeing what a goofball I really was will keep me humble. And I think that's a good place to be. Yeah. And Andy, you made, thank you, Harold. Andy, you made the comment about the first passage that you read. Paul had written that, obviously, right? And so Paul is the one guy that couldn't afford to look back. Right.

Yeah. Literally, when you look at his past, it would cripple him from doing what God called him to do. And not that the Scripture doesn't apply to all of us.

That's not what I'm saying. But definitely for Paul, he had to live that because it would be very easy for the enemy just to trip him up. How many people came up to him and said, oh, you're the guy that used to kill us? Yeah.

I mean, that would be a common everyday thing. So I think Paul got a lot of his healing in that seven years of Arabia when he's getting revelation of the Scripture that he's going to go send out in these epistles and stuff. But he couldn't. He could not live in that place or it would have disabled everything that God wanted to do. And it would have been so easy because, and he alludes to it about, you know, I was chief of sinners, you know, and he knows what he did. And again, you don't totally forget it. Even that Scripture doesn't mean don't remember these things.

That's impossible. It's saying do not let the things of the past hold you down to keep you from forgetting to the calling of Jesus. And you also had where God chose to heal him through having a Christian come lay his hands on him. You know, I read Ananias when he came in laying his hands on him. You know, John tells a story about where Ananias is like, really, God? Exactly.

Can you put my hands on that guy? Exactly, yeah. But, you know, God knew what he was doing, obviously, when he said, okay, you know, Paul, who had not been anything humble in any representation of humble from what you read in Scripture in his previous time as Saul, you know, now comes in and somebody that he would have looked way down on is a part of his healing. And you can just see God's hand through the whole midst of it and in helping with that transition from past into new life in the present. Yeah, right.

David, did you have something you want to add? Yeah, I think, you know, until you acknowledge that, it's really difficult when you stay in that rut. You know, for me, you know, I'm still going back in my past and pulling things out and working through wounds and stuff like that. But ultimately, God places people in your life to help you walk through that as, as guides, as we say, with the band, with the band of brothers and masculine journey.

I mean, for me, for sure. I mean, everybody sitting in this room right now has had some sort of effect on my walk and working through all that and not necessarily going back to relive those issues and sins and wounds that I had, but helping me stay motivated to keep on that straight and narrow path. So appreciate you having me tonight, Sam. Oh, yeah, we're glad to have you as a guest on the show.

You're just like a permanent guest, David. I figured I'd take that one from you though, before I got out there. Well, you teed it up, man. It's kind of hard to not go there. But one of the words that you chose to use as key, rut, right? When I'm stuck in a rut, it takes somebody to help pull me out. Yep, definitely.

Right? And that can be somebody that God puts in the path with you, or a friend like Jim with a great big stick to help you kind of dig your way out of that, or Danny or Andy with a great big Jeep to help you pull out of the rut. But somebody's there to help you get out. And the key is, you got to be willing to get out and not get back in. Yeah, yeah, you would have your blinders on if you're not trying to get out of that rut. And you might not see who God's putting in your path to help you through that.

I mean, I know for a long time for me personally, it was and we can share more on the after hours. But, you know, I'm glad I definitely took those blinders off and really saw what God was doing in my life. So Robby, you have a clip for us and how appropriately titled your clip is. Rearview mirror. Yeah, so it's the Christian car guy. I came for the shenanigans.

You did, yeah. It's on my shirt. But anyway, you know, the rearview mirror is significantly smaller than it is the windshield. And, you know, the idea is you need to, you know, focus on what's coming, not necessarily on what's behind. But I'd love, love, love what Andy is teaching on this and it really clarifies it for me. But let me play this clip first. It's this poor guy. The movie is called Lock. You don't ever want to watch this movie. And believe me what I had to clip out of these. But the guy has a serious father wound and he's talking to his father who he sees in the mirror, but nobody can see him.

You know, you just hear him talking to his father and he has discussion and you might notice that he's clearly stuck in the past and he has gigantic father wounds that he certainly needs to somehow or another get past. What are you looking at? You're laughing at me. Laughing at my predicament. It's a familiar predicament to a man like you, isn't it, dad?

You think there he is, looked like a father, doesn't he? There's the man right here. What is it they say? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Well, that's where you're wrong. Listen to me. I want you to watch. You know, in fact, I would like to take a shuffle and take you up out of the ground and make you watch me tonight. I would pull open your eyes and keep this journey because it's me driving. Me, not you.

Unlike you, I will drive straight to the place where I should be and I'll be there to take care of my... Okay, well, let me educate you. Even no matter what the situation is, you can make it good, like with plaster and brick. You never knew that because you never lifted a finger, you've raised it. But you know what?

You can take a situation and you can draw a circle around it and find a way to work something out. You don't just drive away from it, no, or sit in the corner of some greasy little pub somewhere like... I could come for you with a pick and a shovel.

I really could dig you up. It would be a happy day in hell because they would be rid of you for a bit. That sounds like a great dinner and a movie. I'm trying to say it.

It would be a happy day. Clearly, as I thought about this clip, because Andy and I had quite a discussion when he came up with a topic about, well, we got to deal with the past and clearly this guy has not dealt with it. And you can't just Bob Newhart him and say, stop it.

You could tell him, stop it till the cows come home. He's stuck there and he needs healing. But I love between what Sam said and Andy said in the pre-show that clearly when it says you're moving forward to the high calling, well, that high calling is that relationship with Jesus. And so by going into that relationship with Jesus, he walks with you back into the past and gives you healing with that. He's the counselor that's gonna...

So actually for this guy, moving forward is actually going with Jesus wherever Jesus wants to take him, and so as we go into that higher calling, which is a beautiful word, it's a spectacular thing to think that Jesus is calling us into this relationship. And so I couldn't help but note like, man, I mean, my addiction to pornography, for example, was a gigantic hindrance to me and you could tell me to stop it. I tried everything I possibly could just, you know, I couldn't Bob Newhart it. Stop it. Just stop it.

Well, that was impossible. But by going into the relationship with Jesus, using him as a guide, he took me back, right? But I was, in a way, I was going forward because he was the one creating a situation where I could see what Satan, where the agreements were, the forgiveness that this poor guy, man, he desperately needs to forgive his father. And he is totally there, but he desperately needs Jesus.

He needs that higher calling. And so I love that idea of when you go with Jesus, you're moving forward, even though you may be visiting something that was in your past. If you're with him, you're moving forward. Yeah, as you were talking, Robby, I got this memory from growing up up north, you know, Indiana is getting ready to get hit with a winter storm, you know, in the next few days. And when you got stuck in the snow and you just tried to move forward, you weren't going anywhere. Yeah, you had to rock back just a little bit and then go forward, rock back, go forward. So you had to take a little step back to move, propel forward. And that's what God really does is he takes us back into this place. And Andy, it gets back to the Boston clip that you played.

He says in that song at some point in there, I don't, I don't mind where I get taken. Right. And so when you walk intimately to Jesus, you don't mind where he takes you, whether it's a step forward or it's a step back because you trust the guide that's taking you to a place that your heart needs to go.

Yeah. We, we hear, uh, three steps forward, two steps back. It's probably more like, uh, two steps back, three steps forward. I mean, you do have to go back to that place. And, you know, as we were talking, I told Robby, I was like, as we had this discussion, I was like, well, what really, I totally get the whole thing about going back into the wound because I've experienced it. I know that that's true. And I know that Jesus wants us to be healed in there.

Only one way that can happen is for him to take you there. Um, and I thought about when I used to read that scripture though, in some ways, in my misinterpretation of it, I felt like everything that I had in life, I was supposed to forget and just move on. Well, it never really allowed for that healing. And so I have to believe that that's what God's intent was in that scripture is basically Jesus came and said, follow me and that follow me may be back into those, those moments that we have to have healing and then move forward.

Yeah. I think that you see in his dealing with Peter, right? When he comes back and he says, Peter, do you love me, Peter, do you love me?

And he keeps taking him back into the past to make a big step into the future. So he can change his perspective and move him into that place of love and that place of healing and that place of purpose and higher calling as you talked about. And so just, I'd encourage you this week, wherever God's calling you, if it feels like condemnation and shame and all that, that's not God. Don't go there. But if he's calling you into a place, walk with him in comfort, knowing he's got your back and he's taking you to a healthy place. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the bootcamp coming up March 30th through April 2nd. Talk to you next week. This is the Truth Network.