Masculine Journey Boyhood

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This is the Truth Network. The heart of every man craves a great adventure, but life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here now. We're not going to call them pillars. It's just going to be a series.

Although we really should call this one pillars, technically. No, stages. Stages, yeah, stages would be good. So why don't you tell us a little bit about the stages that we're getting ready to go through. So shortly after I read Wild at Heart, I picked up a book. I think it was called The Way of the Wild Heart, and then they changed the name to Father by God, and it walked through, you know, the stages that we go through as men.

And I'm not going to dive into those. We're just going to talk about the boyhood stage today, but it really gave me some context for all this stuff that I went through in the Wild at Heart is talking about general things for men, but it framed it like kind of a map. And what I missed is what I gained as a kid, as a young man, and what I missed out on and why I felt, helped me understand kind of where I felt incomplete in some areas, an unfinished man. And we have, we've talked about it a little bit at boot camp. We've shared the stages, I believe, and given out handouts and stuff, but we've never, I mean, I think it's been a radio show, but it's been a long time ago.

And we've been talking as a group that we should cover that maybe in a boot camp, and I was like, you know, couldn't this be a radio show? And then I heard Morgan Snyder's podcast, Becoming Good Soil, recently he interviewed a guy. And this guy, he kind of went into his life, and Morgan associated with the stages that he had kind of missed and went back through it, and it just kind of prompted me again.

Hey, this would be a really good topic, so. Yeah, the whole thinking behind this, John, you know, wrote Wild at Heart, but he would say that he really wanted to write what became Fathered by God as his first book, but he knew he had to write Wild at Heart for us to get there. Right, because the book that was on his heart for the longest time was a Fathered by God book.

You know, and as he prayed about it, the father said, no, I want you to do this one, you know, and then we'll do the other one. And so what this is, it's six different stages that each man is meant to go through from birth till the end of their life, right? And each one of those stages are certain things that God intended for you to get out of those stages, that you would gain certain things, certain perspectives, certain confidences, that you just knew that was the truest among the true about you. And we're going to talk about the boyhood stage today, and then what you learn in the boyhood stage, you need in the next stage. That's why it's important that you get them in those stages is because they're going to be needed later on. And as we go through the stages over the next six weeks, we'll kind of go back and look at the previous stage and say, you know, what happens if you missed part of this?

Because it'll play out in your actions or your reactions. And so, but the good news is, as we go through this, none of this is ever too late. And that's what that book's about. The book's about this journey that you're on with God, this masculine journey.

That's where we get the name of our show is from the masculine journey. And these stages of masculine journey, if you miss certain things, it's not just, oh, well, I guess that's life and tough for me. No, God intends to take you back through those stages. If you let him and you and you dive into him, he'll take you back through feelings. He's not going to make you be eight again. Right. But he's going to take you back through things that you experienced back then and go work on your wounds, work on things of healing and get you to that place of confidence of that you know what the truth of the truth of the truth is about you and about him.

Robby's or Andy, would you like to add to that? Yeah. And we were talking before is the whole thing.

I stole the mic from Robby that I just had given him. So anyway, I must probably miss something in my boyhood stage there. But yeah, but is that is the whole idea is it's father by God. The idea is, is you have a father during these stages. And if you didn't have your earthly father to do those things with you or help you to become finished in a particular area or whatever, the idea is, OK, now those things have been missed.

Let God really come in and father you in those those areas. Yeah. And we do a talk at boot camp on sonship on being fathered by God. And one of the things that's really cool that we we go back and look at what at least most of us do that do the talk is that we'll put up a a collage of the people that God brought us at different stages to father us. Because that's part of the process, too, as you're working through this, is it may have been for me, like for me, a scoutmaster that was instrumental in certain things in development for me.

And so God will do this. But going back to the topic for today, we're talking about boyhood. And real quickly, I'll give you the six stages so you kind of know what they are. It's boyhood and that's from ages zero to around 12. And then you go into the cowboy ranger stage, your adventures really kind of kick in then from ages about 10 to about 20.

You see the kind of overlap. And then from there, you enter into the warrior stage. Beyond that, you kind of enter into the lover stage, then the king and then the sage. And some of these you're always in and it becomes confusing.

But as we talk through it over the next six weeks, I think it'll make a lot more sense. And so this first stage is a boyhood stage and it's really that zero from the time I'm born to before I'm a teenager. And during that time, the things that we're meant to learn, that every boy was meant to learn during that time, is that you're the apple of your father's eye. He delights in you. You know, that in some ways, he revolves around you just with his joy and how proud he is of you.

That you're the beloved son, that you're noticed, that your heart matters, that it means something. You know, you're not discounted, those types of things. You have the opportunity for safe exploration. You may think it's 100-mile woods, but it's only about a block and a half behind your house. But he knows you need to wander in there sometimes, you know, because he knows it's safe.

And so safe exploration, doing things that you love to do, you're finding some things that you really love. Maybe that's sports for some people. Maybe it's chess.

Maybe it's computers. It doesn't matter. It's that you're able to enter into things that you love and that's okay. And finding out that you have power and strength. And that's what you're meant to get, right?

But it can also be wounded. And that's a story for every person on some of these topics. Because I think if you're sitting out there and you're being honest with yourself, you may say, oh, yeah, I got that one. Not so much on that one. Right? Or I didn't even know that one existed.

That type of thing. And so as you go through, it's wounded by a sudden loss of innocence when you don't know that you're the beloved son. If you have a passive, checked-out father, an absent father, or a violent father. And so, Danny, you actually have the first clip.

And I want to go ahead and have you set it up and we'll come back and talk about it. But this is an example of a really good father. Yeah. I mean, it's the classic Andy and Opie. And I think it was a side bet on what kind of clip I would come out of the Andy Griffith show. But the clip is Opie has come home with a straight A report card, which was a mistake on the teacher's part. But Andy's so proud of him. Andy buys him a bite.

You know, it's all over town. Opie got straight A's. And so Opie finds out that he didn't get straight A's. But he hadn't told Andy yet. And so in that, knowing that he is the beloved son, he realizes that when he presents this, he's going to be... Andy's going to be disappointed in him. He's just scared he's not going to be. So he's running away from home.

And we pick up the clip where Andy finds him walking down the road. Where are you going? Hi, Paul. Did you get my note?

Yeah. You didn't say where he was going. Well, I was going away someplace.

Now come back to you, he's proud of me again. What? Well, Paul, there's something you don't know. But you're going to find out. So I might as well tell you. I didn't get all A's on my report card.

The teacher made a mistake. I wanted to tell you about it. I started to. But I knew you'd be awful disappointed. So I just never did. Then I got to thinking about it.

And I figured the best thing to do would be to run away. And not come back until I was able to do something that could make you proud of me again. Uh... Opie, I've got... I got something I, uh... I want to say to you. When I thought you got all A's, that was the most important thing in the world to me. And I made it so important that I made it impossible for you to live up to it. You're my son. And I'm proud of you just for that.

You do the best you can. And if you do that, that's all I'll ever ask of you. Okay? Okay, Paul. You never did say where you was going. Well, I thought maybe I'd go away and join the Navy.

The Navy? Well, things are kind of quieting down now. Would you mind waiting a little bit? I don't mind. Good.

I'll send your regrets to the Secretary of the Navy. You know, I know growing up that thinking that my dad was disappointed in me would just tear at my heart. And, you know, a lot like Opie in that scene.

And, you know, the enemy come after that a lot because, you know, you see Andy come after Opie's heart and go, look, here's the real deal. I'm proud of you because you're my son. And my dad's not a vocal guy too much.

Well, he is if you're talking about cars. But other stuff, maybe not. But to hear that and to come after that. But, you know, he did it in other ways, but the way the enemy went into that thing was that I honestly believed and made an agreement that, you know, my father was not proud of me because this is going to be cannon fodder for Rodney. But, you know, I wasn't a great athlete. I wasn't all those things.

But that's kind of why that clip meant so much. Thank you. One of the things that I didn't share and there's a worksheet that we give out at boot camp a lot of times. And so it has each one of these stages and it has, you know, what you're supposed to have learned, how you might have been wounded. And then you start working on some questions like you were just talking about there, Danny, how were you wounded? Right. And it doesn't mean that your dad did the wounding. The enemy could have done the wounding by getting you to believe something that was wrong about your dad. Right.

Like with Opie. That type of thing. But you're still wounded there. And then in that wounding, what agreements did you make?

And that's all topics we've covered in the past. But it's where these kind of comes together and you start to put it together and say, OK, God, I need you to help me walk through these. I need to understand, you know, what happened during that time in my life during that boyhood stage. When, where did the enemy take me out? What was he trying to do?

And what agreements do I need to go back and break? And when we come back, we're going to talk more about that. But go to masculine journey dot org to register for the upcoming boot camp and an entrenchment entrenchment coming end of September, September 30th, October 1st in boot camp, November 17th through 20th. Register today for me describing boot camp when I heard the stories from the stage that the other men had. And then during my prayer time, I'm getting a download from God on where my life is and how I have wounds and I have a place in his story to know how I heard from God is one of those things. He really does communicate with us.

Register today at masculine journey dot org. One of my favorite things about boot camp, well, the favorite thing about boot camp is every time I go, I encounter God. And as anyone that has encountered God knows, generally speaking, it's nothing we expect. Real encounter with God out of the blue. He knew what I needed.

I knew what I wanted and those two were rarely the same thing. Register today at masculine journey dot org. Welcome back to masculine journey. That's Jeremy Camp and the song's called Father.

And it's hard to sometimes pick out the words, especially if you're driving in your car, you got other things going on. And so what he's saying here in the part that we played was I was broken so you could make me whole. I will bring my dirt and let you wash over me like water. I was born to need you to wipe the tears I cry. Yes, you made me a child so you could be my father. I'm your child and you're my father. And that's really what we're talking about is, you know, things happen to us in our life that, you know, we get wounded, we get taken out.

Sorry, I'm having a battle with my glasses right at the moment. It's losing apparently. But no, we get wounded, we get taken out. And it seems like that we have no place to turn. But we always have the place to turn.

We always have the place to turn back into him. Right. And that's what this is about. So we're going through the stage of boyhood and the things that might have happened to us might not have happened to us.

We didn't get that we should have gotten things that got stomped on, you know, how we got wounded. And also part of being a part of that young boyhood adventure. And Jim, based on that, we come to your clips. You want to tell us a little bit about your clip?

Well, during the break, Sam did something I don't think he's ever done before. He said, who wants to be next? And this stage is what I loved and still do. And my boyhood moments. But I said, pick me, pick me. You're still in it.

I'm still in it. My clip is from one of my favorite Christmas movies, The Christmas Story. And this, if you haven't seen it, all I can say is why not? It's there all the time during Christmas season and some other times. But this is the scene where there is a dare, a double dare, a double dog dare. And a triple dog dare where we have a young man that takes the dare, sticks his tongue to a flagpole and gets stuck there. And when recess is over, he's still out there. But this is the sort of thing that I remember most from my childhood.

I do not remember being wounded other than my sister's rejecting me and not letting me fall all over the neighborhood. But in this clip, this is the sort of thing I did a lot with friends and my first cousin who was the closest friend I had. And this is, I'll just let it rip. Yeah, we'll let it play.

We can do that. The thing I will say, if you grew up in the South, you have no idea what a ice cold flagpole is like. I'm telling you that it is, stick your hand to it, stick anything to it, and you're losing skin when you take it off of it. That's all I'm saying.

You're full of beans and so is your old man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Says who?

Says me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like double dares.

The exact exchange and nuance of phrase in this ritual is very important. Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb.

That's because you know it'll stick. You're full of it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Double dog dare you. Now it was serious, a double dog dare. What else was left but a triple dare you? And finally, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare. I triple dog dare you. Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat. All right, all right.

Flick's spine stiffened, his lips curled in a defiant sneer. There was no going back now. This is next. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I don't know the bill right. Yeah. Yeah, maybe come back. Come back.

Come back. Where's Flick? Has anyone seen Flick? Flick? Flick, who? He was at recess, wasn't he? Ralphie. Do you know where Flick is? I said, has anyone seen Flick?

Yes, yesterday. oh my god holy cow it's a fire department no wow it's a cop's and that really was an illustration i don't know any boys that grew up that didn't get uh embarrassed into doing something they really probably should not have done and i was real good at both ends of that forcing that and friends and growing up and my and i kind of said i don't i don't remember any significant wounds in that stage because i knew i was a beloved son i could always go home i knew i had unconditional love from my father and mother some of my adventures were with my dad we would go flying and that was a blast for me and just all of that stage for me was an adventure now the only place i didn't wander free was going down to what you reminded me of this sam was going to a lake that was maybe 100 yards behind our house and it really was a pond but for me it was a lake full of alligators and other dangerous things so i avoided that but boyhood was a joy for me in your clip jim you know for some people you know i can think back at my my time as a boy in those challenges and sometimes those were just fun you know but other times they come with wounds on the other side because what can come from those challenges can become nicknames and can become other things that that aren't as frivolous or light-hearted and the enemy twists and turns and makes into a horrible agreement down the road and so the reason i like that clip is there's a lot of memories i have of those types of things but there's also memories that i have of not being so great you know and unfortunately me being on both sides of that equation as well you know sometimes making up you know a nickname that was not real kind you know and and looking back you know i i kind of don't really think i was doing the right thing now david that doesn't include you the stuff i call you we'll talk about the after hours but uh anyway um andy you have the next clip i actually would like to play your clip next okay so this is from brave heart which is used significantly in the sonship talk at boot camp and young william um there's three scenes here now the scenes will speak for themselves but just a little context one of them is just a discussion with his father where they're going to talk about going to battle or really see what's going on in another uh community and then they find out some bad stuff and he's trying to shield his son from that and he's trying to do it in the right way and you'll see that and then his father actually ends up going to battle after that and he's preparing to go and the son wants to go and he's you know he goes after his heart even though when he says no you can't go and then and then you'll see another time where the kids just being a kid and but he's doing it with a warrior heart in mind right in that last scene it's him and his friend hamish hamish that are throwing rocks right and they're soldiers right right i told you to stay well we'll finish my work where are we going mcandrews he was supposed to visit when the gathering was over can i come no go home boy i want to go go home william or you'll feel the back of my hand tell him will you where do you think you're going i'm going with you oh you're going with me are you what are you gonna do i'm gonna help hey i'm a good help you be too but i need you to stay here and look after the place for me while i'm away i can fight i know i know you can fight but it's our wits that make us men see you tomorrow with your father and brother gone they'll kill us and burn the farm it's up to us so what you don't see there in that last scene was that that they're both uh throwing at these different uh targets stacks of rocks and william takes out both hamish didn't hit him so hamish was gonna get his shot in and he belts him after that you know which was you know this is prime you know boyhood this is what we did but the first two clips is just the father do playing his role as protector in that first scene and then the second scene he spoke into his heart um you know like one day you gotta have the way you gotta have your wits about you that's what makes you a man and he spoke wisdom into it but he also there was a beloved son the way he looked at his son you have to kind of see it in the movie but you knew that that his that young william knew that his father that he was uh the apple of his father's eye yeah with william's story is you talk about when you do the sonship talk and and so forth is you know his wound was not from his father it's when his father got taken out of the story right he had a great father and the father did the best he could yeah loving on him you know in a household where the mom wasn't there right it was just the boys and so he's doing the best that he can and he's loving on him well and you hear that in his voice and then he just doesn't come back from war and the beauty of that not to jump ahead i'm not sure if we use these clips but he's got argyle that comes in after his father passes and does the same kind of speaks the same message about being wise and not just running off and going to battle but then when you see his life on after that what a warrior he becomes and it's because of what he had got as a as a young boy and then on through life yeah if you want to go back uh if i'd say midway through the series and on and watch braveheart right you'll see it played out in william wallace's life right where god brings people into his life his uncle to love on him to father him through it you know i i think that you can have an absent father that's in the household i'll talk a little bit about that in the after hours that was a lot of my story my dad was physically there but to say that he was present was not necessarily the case unless he was angry and then he was very present that's kind of how that worked but you know we have all these things that can happen to us we're with it's taken out it's taken away from us you know divorce right now it's at the highest rate it's ever been and it's obviously not going to get better anytime soon and so fathers are routinely being taken out of the house and so when we come back in the after hours we're going to talk more about this we're going to get more into our personal stories and we're going to continue this over the next week but in the meantime please go register for the upcoming boot camp it's coming up november 17th through the 20th and for the free as Robby would say entrenchment which is coming up september 30th and october 1st masculine journey dot org if you'd like to get a copy of this worksheet just email any one of us just put any of our first names at masculine journey dot org and we'll get it to you thanks and have a great day this is the truth network