Sports Wounds After Hours

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This is the Truth Network. Announcer Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now.

Mike Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. And Robby, we got your topic this week. You know, it's kind of yours. It's kind of Andy's.

It's kind of everybody's, but we're throwing it to you. Robby Yeah, it's sports wounding. It comes from the idea last week, we talked about left field.

And then Andy got to play catcher for a while, then he got to left field, then he got promoted out, left out. And then something about being, no, I won't go there. Something about on the bench, you know? I was thinking of Danny's comment, but it is after hours, I guess we could. No, we won't. Mike No, we probably still shouldn't. If you want to know the comment, you're gonna have to reach out to us on Facebook, and we'll have Danny reply.

You know, that way he gets by. Robby I asked Danny about his position of football when he was, you know, younger. Mike Yeah, it's just a question.

Come to boot camp and ask him. Robby Yeah, that's Mike That'd be a great thing. Well, when we left the regular show, we had shared some of our stories. And then we really kind of were mean to Harold. I know that that's a surprise to you that we picked on Harold. But, you know, we said a whole bunch of stuff about the story he wanted to share, whether it was true or not, we don't know. But we didn't let him respond.

And so now we're going to give Harold a chance to respond to his sports wounding, not radio show wounding. Darrell And we talked about his skirt. And no, it wasn't Jim Graham. Mike It wasn't Jim. Darrell No, he didn't see her. Mike He's a Carolina girl.

We do know that. Darrell We had to get that in, Jim. Sorry. Jim Well, actually, my tennis story is about a wound that I got. But it turned out good. In 1960, I was a freshman at Auburn. And I had a couple of really good friends that were going to teach me how to play tennis.

One of them had a high school classmate, who was not a friend of mine, and he became even less so as the semester progressed. Because I was just trying to learn I didn't even have a racket, I had to borrow a racket to try to play. And he would smash the ball through my face and just laugh like crazy.

My temperament didn't deal too well with that kind of treatment. So when when the quarter ended, and I got home, I put my bags down and I asked my mother if I could borrow $20. So I hitchhiked over to Montgomery about 15 miles away. And I went through several sporting goods stores till I found the racket I wanted. So I bought myself a racket and a can of three balls. And I was working the second shift at a local plant. The tennis court was unpainted, it was asphalt. The net was hurricane wire fencing.

There was nobody to play with. So for two or three hours a day, earlier, because I went to work at like four in the afternoon, I would be at the tennis court and I would serve until I had all three balls on the same side. And then I'd go over and serve back the other way.

To hit a ground stroke, I would get about mid-court, slam the ball hard, jump over the net, and turn around to hit the shot back. So in the fall, when I went back to Auburn, I was ready. I had learned how to serve good.

I was actually placing the can at different spots on the court and hitting it. So I put my bags down and I head across campus to find Johnson. He had joined the army.

I never saw him again. But I could beat my buddies. So the fact that he treated me the way he did and wounded my ego so badly, it gave me the impetus to learn how to play. So I became a pretty decent tennis player. And I was pretty quick on my feet. So I was pretty good for a while. So since Jim's not here, you had to throw in the big word, impetus.

You had to throw in a word that we're gonna have to look up later. I appreciate that, Harold. You know, and I have seen the Flintstones. So those balls must have really hurt because they were made out of stone, I think, at that point. Well, thank you, Harold.

That is a great way that that story ended. You know, that it still continues with pickleball today, right? I mean, some of the stuff you learned in tennis, you probably – it allows you to play.

Yeah. The Lord's been good to me. There's a lot of things I can't do, things that once I could lift with no trouble or heavy to me now.

But I'm still pretty quick on my feet, even at age 80. Well, because we promised in the last show, there is the other wounding of the young lady that you saw when you were jumping the net, so. Okay.

All right. One of the things that happened one day, I was there on the tennis courts at Auburn, and there was a very attractive young lady on the court next to me. And I'm going up, and I had the habit of jumping over the net to switch sides. Which, if you know, Harold, is quite a feat, I'm just saying. It's over his head, man.

And I mean, like, how do you get there? Okay, it's all right. So I'm going up to jump over the net to switch sides. And I happened to look over at the young lady who was turned backwards.

And I caught my foot on the top of the net and fell face first. Wow. Yeah.

So that's the story they really wanted to hear. I feel better now. Andy, you're up, bud. That's hard to follow, right? It is.

It is. Did you jump the net? No, I'm not. I wasn't a tennis player.

No. You're brave, Harold. I would have told Robby to go pound sand, I don't know. Yeah, I wouldn't have. Exactly. So before I get to my clip, I wanted to share with someone similar to what Harold was saying. So, you know, I had a, I'll use a big word, auspicious start to my sports career. Wow.

That means not exactly great. Well, I know what I mean. Okay. Thanks for assuming I didn't, Andy.

You never know. I'll be unpacking. That was my Heavenly Father later today. Thank you. All right. There's going to be a return on that, sir. No doubt.

Yeah. But, so, I lived out in the country, nobody around to play sports with. So I'm out there. And so I go and sign up and play. And I'm like five, you know, and it's my first year other kids have been playing. They asked me what I wanted to play. I was like batter.

You know, my dad didn't prepare me at all for this job. The first game, I swung at all the balls and didn't swing at any of the strikes. Had no idea what I was doing. So I felt terrible.

I didn't, I mean, I'm five, you know, I'm just trying to figure things out. But I really threw myself into sports after that. And I knew that I got validation from that. And that's something that, you know, again, you get this feeling.

I think it's somewhat of a, it's not really the truth that our validation comes from that, but it does help us grow in who we are. And sports gave me a lot. But, you know, we all start out with stories of just, you know, of feeling like sports is the answer to our warrior heart at that age and stuff.

And, you know, you can invest too much in it. So on my clip, you know, I played football in high school. And I love Remember the Titans. And this is a compilation clip. And the first one is when, you know, Coach Boone is addressing the team when he first comes in. And he's talking to Petey. And Petey's basically this cocky guy. And he kind of, you know, calls him out on his, on his pride and kind of takes the fun out of the game. And then then there's another part where Coach Boone is really calling the team to perfection. And then also at the end, it's really when the coach, the team comes together, and there's leaders that take over the breaking down of the team. And I'll explain the clip when we get, how it pertains to me when we get back. You sure you don't want to explain compilation to me? Just in case.

It's a big word. Here we go. Put your hand down. You smile. Yes.

Yes, sir. Why are you smiling? Because I love football. Football's fun. Fun, sir. Fun, sir.

It's fun. You sure? I think. Now you're thinking.

First you smile, then you think. You think football is still fun. Yes, sir. Yes. No, no, sir.

It was fun. Not anymore, though, is it? Is it? No, not by now.

No, it's not fun anymore. Not even a little bit. No. Make up your mind. No, no. Think since you're thinking now. Go on.

Think. Is it fun? No, sir. No, no, sir. Absolutely not. Zero fun, sir.

All right. Listen up. I'm Coach Boone. I'm going to tell you all about how much fun you're going to have this season. You put that uniform on that tight uniform.

You better come to work. We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts. And then you will run a mile.

Perfection. What is pain? Fresh bread.

What is fatigue? On your clothes. Will you ever quit? No. We want some more. We want some more.

We want some more. Turn in. Let me ask you something, Mr. Campbell. What kind of power you got?

Oh, man. You know I got some sort of power. What kind of power you got?

The only question is that. I got soul power. Yes, you do.

Let me ask you something of his per diem. Yes. I'm too strong. I'm too strong. I want a victory.

I want a victory. So when all those, and the, you know, the story is great. What Coach Boone did with those boys and brought them together as a black and white team is amazing.

And there was a lot of growth. And, you know, those guys went on to be, you know, really, you know, all of them had a good story if you go and read the history of it. But, you know, a lot of those things, you know, I had some coaching like that. And those coaches a lot of times would pull things out of you. But sometimes that there was things that they said or did that were not good for your heart.

And not being a baby or anything like that. But I mean, you know, you could encourage somebody in such a way that you didn't demean them and stuff. And there were coaches that did that. There were coaches that were encouraging me. My head coach was awesome.

This Christian man, really strong in his faith. But, you know, sometimes just that thing where coach called for perfection. That sounds great. But you can take those things with you the rest of your time. And you can try to live up to a perfection type of standard. And that could be very, you know, we're not perfect. We're not going to live perfect. Excellence, yes.

Perfection, no. And it can give help. I mean, it could force you into trying to live out a life that really is not possible. And then really, the thing that got me the most probably was my senior year. I didn't have any talent, but I did work hard. And dad had given me that. He had encouraged me that in all of my time in sports. And I guess, you know, I could do that.

I could always work hard, even though I wasn't really that talented. In doing so, I got the coach's attention. And he was going to make me a leader on the team. He was putting me up for captain. And he asked to break down the team.

And there's a process to it. And I was just, I was not comfortable in front of people. He had me go speak to the booster club. And I said, like, three words and ran off the stage like an idiot. You know, I just wasn't used to being in front of people or leading people. And all those things, those were woundings. I wouldn't have considered them woundings all my life, but until I got in, listened to really the masculine heart message and all. It's just, you know, those things are still wounds too. You know, I had some success in sports, but I had a lot of failure, a lot of disappointment. But there's a lot of growth that comes from that. But, you know, again, there was woundings that made me who I am now.

Dr. Darrell Bock Thanks, Andy. I think that, you know, you said something that I want to make sure that, at least from my thinking that we clarify, that if you're getting your primary validation from anything other than God, it's wrong. But, you know, you can get validation from other things. It just can't be your primary source. It can't be the thing that sustains you. Your boss gives you accolades for doing a good job.

That's fine. You can feel validation from that, but that can't be what drives your behavior and drives you to do different things. Dr. Darrell Bock No, but you can become addicted to that feeling too. And when you walk around and then when you don't get that, then you fall off a cliff. And that's the way I lived a lot of my life at times.

So, you know, again, that's part of the wounding, part of it's so good to understand kind of what was going on there now because I sure as heck didn't understand it a big part of my life of, you know, how even my sports woundings played into my marriage or how I went about things at work and that kind of thing. Dr. Andy Breshears Absolutely. Absolutely. Wayne, you got any stories for us? You thinking of anything? I can let you think some more.

It's only been like an hour. Dr. Andy Breshears I'm good. You and I share a lot of the same stuff there as far as the dad not showing up to the sports. You know, also like Rodney, unlike Danny over here to my left, I was pretty good at sports.

Dr. Andy Breshears Next week's show wounds of the masculine right there. But it never really bothered me in the sense of I never took offense to it. He was never there. He was like your dad. He was always home and he would drop me off. Later on, he told me that he always thought that I didn't want him there. And I told him otherwise. In fact, I'd asked him multiple times to come. But I think he also understood who he was as a dad and kind of you talked about some of the emotions that a father, you know, operates under whenever they see things a little differently, you know, feeling the hurt. So I could see how it was probably a wise decision that he didn't come to some of those games. Because I was a very, yeah, very competitive. So I mean, that's the right word for it. So it was good. I understand it more now.

I didn't I never took the offense or was hurt by it that I know of. Dr. Andy Breshears Yeah, that's where the enemy can just twist anything. Dr. Andy Breshears Right. It's like you said, yeah, two people can have the same experience and uses it differently either way.

Dr. Andy Breshears Yeah, one person can get picked last, you know, their whole life and not really make anything of it and another person that's devastating. Right. And so it's just all what the enemy is able to do with it. You actually teed up my next clip. So thank you for that. Yeah. Yeah, this this one this clip. This is from Remember the Titans. It's a short clip.

It's about 12 seconds. When I first watched the movie, I didn't have any boys that were playing sports. My daughters were playing softball and and doing pretty well. And so there wasn't really any conflicts yet in sports life because they were young.

Right. And then so I really thought this dad was just a jerk. And so we're going to play this clip and his son, Alan, who'd been a starter for one of the coaches now that the teams integrate and he's no longer the best option. But the dad's not understanding why he's getting pulled out of the game.

And I want you just to listen to this and we'll come back and talk about something that I've lived through the last few years. So when I watched it again this last weekend, I remember the Titans, it's been a while since I've seen it. I was watching the father and I still don't necessarily agree with him. But what it reminded me of as just having gone through this last few years of a son that was playing his senior year of college football and a son playing his senior year of high school football and through a series of events, their coaches choosing to start younger players because the younger players were the future and the seniors weren't really going to do them much good anymore.

Right? Both of them had different journeys. But just watching how hard they worked, how much they wanted to play and knowing that they could play because they both had opportunities to play and when they played, they played well. But just watching them hurt as a father, I felt those feelings. I wanted to stand up and yell. I wanted to write a letter. I wanted to do something to defend my child.

Now, granted, one of them is 22 years old at the time and the other is almost 18, but as a parent, you never give up that desire to try to protect your kids when you think there's an injustice to them. And it just kind of broke my heart and it reminded me that sometimes you can be wounded by watching others get wounded and feeling helpless in the midst of it. Darrell Bock That was a really cool line from my point of view in the 119 Psalm verse, I believe it's 126, where it says, and it's in the I in section, meaning this is giving you what God's vision is for things. And the Psalmist turns to me and says, it's time, Lord, to work.

It's like I remember that scene in The Lion King. It is time. It's like time for you to do something. God is time. Do something about this, right? Your kid's not in the game.

I remember experiencing the same thing when my son played college basketball. And do something, right? And it's interesting how he follows that by saying, and he says they make void thy law. The next two verses are therefore verses, not unlike Paul would say many times.

He says, therefore, I esteem your commandments above gold more than fine gold. In other words, Lord, you got to do something, giving him the position of the larger story. Like this is not about my son, and it's not necessarily about me, or how I feel right this minute. It is to some extent about how I raised my son, how he sees his father as God and all this, but how do we get this picture back to the right picture of what is the larger story here?

What is going to matter 20 years from now, 30 years from now from a standpoint of the larger story? And then after he says he steams the commandments, in other words, I'm going to do what I can do. And then he says, I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right. And I hate every false way. So what he's saying is you're going to show me through prayer and through studying your word, what the right thing is to do in this situation.

And often you find yourself on the bend. You're in the stands and your heart is screaming, God, do something. The cool thing is, if you think about it, if you have that mindset, you're asking God to get involved. And then opening it up to, okay, God, give me an interpretation of what it is that I would do that would be the right thing under these circumstances, which I don't understand, because it is time.

It is time to do something. Danny? Daniel Bock I was just reminded of, everybody was talking about their fathers not being there. Dad was at every practice, I think, in every game in my lackluster baseball career. And one of the things that over the years God has shown me is that I thought I was disappointing him, because I wasn't. And he wouldn't love me as much. And therefore, you put that on the father, as you know, God loves me. But I've just disappointed him so much. And so it does do that eclipse thing. And, you know, but I know now that, you know, Dad didn't love me less because I wasn't a baseball player.

He loved me because I was his son, in whom he's well pleased. Yeah. You know, I was thinking earlier, Harold, when we were talking about Jim not being here, and he can't defend himself, has he scheduled with you the pickleball thing that he, on the air, you know, challenged you to a game? I'm just wondering if he's ever stepped up and said, hey, let's go ahead and get that scheduled.

No, we don't have it scheduled. No, has he even brought it back up again? No.

Not once. No. So am I hearing that you're calling him out for a challenge now?

Is that what I'm hearing in your voice? I'll play when he wants to. Okay. Are we going to pad the court and especially Jim's side? Yeah. He's going to wear a helmet. Okay. Yeah.

Just to protect his head in case he falls. Yeah. Again. Again.

Yeah. No, we miss you, Jim. We wish you were here and we'll see you next week, God willing.

But guys, we've got a few more minutes left. Anything you want to chime in on the topic? Rodney, it sounds like you got something.

I think that Wayne was saying you have something. Oh, sure. I'll make something up now. Well, thank you.

Yes, you will. I can pose for a little while. I just love this topic because sports was so big of my life.

You guys all talked about it. I played sports my entire life, you know, even out of college and just kept playing and doing stuff and saw all my identity in that. And always the wounding in your non-sports life, you know, of not being important. So I just kind of always said, well, if I really try hard, I could be even that much more so then they'll expect even more and I can't live up to that. So I'd only try enough to be so good and not go above and beyond because in every sport, I look back, I'm like, oh, I could have tried so much harder and done so much better.

But I just had some natural gifting. It was fortunate, you know, and then a lot of people look at that and say, well, why didn't you take that and do something with it? You know, and I saw other kids, you know, outwork me. Like I looked at Andy and said, yeah, he can outwork me, but I got the talent because I was a big fish in that small pond. And when you're going through that, you keep looking back, you're like, ah, man, I could have done more.

I could have been better. You just keep putting yourself down. The enemy always finds a way, whether you're good or whether you're bad at something, he's going to find the angle. It's going to find, oh, this is how I can hurt him.

This is how I can wound him. And Robby, you made the point, you know, before the show, we were talking that maybe sometimes it's harder on the kids that are successful in sports. Yeah, because, you know, for so many of them, you know, my son was also very gifted at playing basketball and he, oh my goodness. But what happens is it becomes their eye. It becomes their identity as you describe. And, you know, at some point in time, I love the way Randolph Childress put it. There's this brilliant statement he made to me one time when we were talking about his radio show was, you know, you may love basketball, but basketball does not love you.

It'll take everything that you have to offer and it will give you back nothing because it is in fact an idol, right? There's no life there. You know, there is life in God and there is life in, like when we see the movie Hoosiers, think about it. What was the life that was there was the team, right? It was the relationship between the coach and the shooter and Jimmy and everybody, you know, getting to this point of, you know, coming together in unity.

But basketball itself, man, it's a dangerous thing. Yeah, and you see, you know, you've seen over the last, I don't know, probably five, six, seven years where athletes, especially in pro football, you know, will get out of football and then they have no identity after that. And some of them unfortunately have committed suicide, you know, turn to other things, you know, and it is that problem that when you take that, getting my value, getting my identity from this, and that's all you ever have, then what happens when it's no longer available to you? You're no longer good enough to play. You're no longer wanted. You're no longer, you know, have what it takes. At that level, you know, you're just left with a bigger hole. But the good news is that all those, whether that you're the kid that couldn't play or the kid that played well, it's all seemed to be designed to push you back through enough pain to look to God for the answer. If you'll go there, that's the whole thing. It's designed to do it, but you have to be willing to take that risk and step into that place, right? You have to say, okay, God, I'm going to walk with you into this valley of pain, even though it's going to hurt. And I know it's not going to be fun, but I do know that when I come out on that other side, it's going to be so worth it, right? And trust and take that faith journey with him and step past your fear and further into faith. We just ask that you ask him this week, what can I do to step closer to you, step further from fear and walk in faith with you? We'll talk with you next week. Harold calls it net gain. This is the Truth Network.