Draw Near With Confidence After Hours

Hi, I'm Matthew. My co-hosts, Brianna, Michael, Paul, and I have found life beyond Mormonism to be brighter than we were told it would be. Join us for discussions about our journeys from Mormon to Jesus. I'm Brianna from the Outer Brightness Podcast. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds.

Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening to the Truth Podcast Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now.

Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. And we're glad that we're with you. We almost were. We were sitting here talking, telling some stories, and then all of a sudden we realized, oh, yeah, the intro's playing now. So we're back with you in the after hours. It happens more and more as we go along.

It is. We were drawing nearer to each other, right, on God's stories. Yeah, since we can't go with absence, we'll go withdraw nearer to God in confidence. There you go. There you go. So why don't you tell us a little bit about the topic.

I know that's what it is, but refresh us for the after hours crowd. Yeah, this was just something that has come to me as I was studying prayer, and it was like drawing near with confidence just kept. And everything that I studied, it was, remember, drawing near with confidence, he just kept for some reason reminding me of that passage.

And it's like, he's trying to teach me something, but I'm usually a little thick, so it's like, okay, he's got to pound at me a little while. And that's when I realized we were all drawing closer, and this is what he does with us. This is part of our maturity. This is part of us growing and abiding in Christ and becoming sons of his. And that's just where the whole idea of doing that just keeps giving me more and more contentment.

That's the word I just keep coming back to. It's just, I'm good, Lord. I'm good with this. I'm fine.

I know who you are, and I'm trusting and trusting in Him more. And that's where I just love this, especially when we came off the word of the year. Yeah, that I was absent for, if you want to go ahead and throw that back in. Oh, no, I didn't. Were you absent, Sam? I was, I was. In case we had talked about that in the last couple minutes, we could bring it up. No bitterness here.

No, I'm just kidding. So, Rodney, you talk about drawing near to God, but how do you go about drawing, for you personally, how do you go about drawing near to God in confidence? Really, it's just, it's been such a wonderful change in my life, thinking about all the worthless stuff that I paid attention to in my life, whether it was, you know, just TV, sports, so many other things that, you know, they're fun. I still enjoy them at times. But really just being in the Word and listening to other pastors, brothers, sisters that are walking with Christ, and just learning about Him, the more I can learn and study, you know, there's only so many hours in the day. And that's one of the things at first, you know, it was like, oh my gosh, I got to get more and more and more and more. And when I did come to Christ, it was during a time of traveling, and it was, I could listen to Dr. J. Vernon McGee almost continuously, because I was in the car so much, so I went through his five-year program in two and a half years, plus I was listening to the Truth Network continually, and just getting soaked in so many different things. And then as my life picked up and I got busy again, you know, I really was, I've not listened to as much, but I've been fortunate enough to be sitting still more often, so I've been able to read more.

So that's been great. So I've been doing more reading, but it's just conversations. That's what some of the best time is, when you just talk with other people about Jesus and about the stories of the Bible and how they're real in your own life, you know, things of that nature. And then when you get to do that, and you get to talk about what's real for you, and it helps you learn when you get to teach others something that you learned.

And that's just, to me, just fun. Thank you. Wayne, how about you? How do you draw near to God and confidence? It's been a process, you know, like you said, over time, Father's drawn me into that place, but right now, for me, it's hard to explain to people, but every moment is that for me. You know, I wake up, and I let Father, you know, wake me up. Whenever he wakes me up, he'll ask me to come out and sit with him at crazy hours of the morning, two, three o'clock in the morning. And I go, because I know there's a reason he's gone. I know because I've received, you know, I get still with him and I get quiet. It says that you enter into the gates with thanksgiving, and you enter into the courts with praise. There's that piece of it in some of my times.

You know, driving down the road, I can't tell you how often, by the time I get to where I am, I'm a sobbing mess. But it's going and believing you're going to hear him. And then, when you do hear, step out in faith and do what he told you, or believe what he told you.

You know, just like Rodney said, you know, if he tells you, you're my son, you're his son. Like, do you believe it? It's an amazing journey.

Yeah, it is. You know, I guess for me, drawing near to him is allowing my heart to step away from busyness. Right, because I can keep my time so full all the time. I mean, there's countless projects I want to do. There's all these things that I want to do.

But really, when I take time to notice the things that God's putting in front of me, to get my attention. You know, it's hard to say. You know, I've talked about it on the air, but I've had a pretty rocky, just emotional week. I can't really explain it.

I've just been crabby, just cranky, you know, just in a bad mood. It seems like every time I look out my window, there's a cardinal at the bird feeder. And it just makes me laugh, because that's one thing that is always a reminder to me of when I see a cardinal.

You know, just the faithfulness of the relationship of cardinals and lots of things. It always reminds me of God. And it just continually makes me laugh. And I've seen him probably four or five times this week. You know, I could go weeks without seeing one out at the feeder, you know, because of weeks that I don't put food in the feeder. That may have something to do with it. No, but it just seems like whenever I'm in a really, really bad place, I look out and there's one in the tree here.

There's one that flies into my, you know, in front of the car, and I don't hit it. You know, and those kinds of things. And it's just taking those times to say, okay, God, you're trying to get my attention.

All right, now let's talk. And taking that time and at least spending some time with him in it, you know, and then just trusting his word. You know, not just his written word, but the things that he's told me in the past are the things that he tells me now. You know, to trust in that and know that, okay, I may not know the details. I may not know how it's going to work out or whatever the situation is, but I know you got it.

Right? And so just help me be obedient in walking with you in it. You're looking at me like, you better go.

Yeah, no, that's fine. Okay, I have, you know, I go through different seasons and different things that I've, you know, done. I'm in a really fun one that, you know, for whatever reason, two or three years ago, I read this passage about how Solomon's throne, you know, it was animated. And these different animals lifted him up onto the throne. And so I said, well, that's really cool, God.

I want some of those. And he gave me Eagle One. And so in the morning, you know, it's just part of my normal routine and that people think I'm nuts.

But, you know, I really enjoy it. So I get up there and after I go through certain things in prayer, which usually actually take me about 45 minutes to get my head straight, then Eagle One shows up, you know? And when Eagle One shows up, I climb on Eagle One's back, which is a big, beautiful bald eagle. Still birds are involved. And he takes me up with the Father and with Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

They're all three up there. And, you know, this is going to be our time to hang out. And it used to be that I would ask for my word of the day or he would send me in a certain passage. But here, you know, he gave me the 119th Psalm to memorize to this morning. It was just funny. Like, okay, well, apparently I know where I'm going in the Bible today.

So, you know, what do you have in mind for me? So as Eagle One drops me off, which it's not unusual that he throws me off to some extent, and the Father's going to catch me with his big hand and he's got a big one. This morning, it was like the Jesus water ride from heaven, okay? If you can even imagine, if you've ever seen the movie Goonies or maybe, you know, you've gone to Disney World and gone on water rides.

I love water rides. But this thing was like, woo! And I was going up and down and around. And it was like he just had me on this ride. And I went, man, this is way better than any amusement park I've ever been on.

This is like liquid Jesus. And I'm like flowing through and just having the ride of my life. And we just had so much fun. And, you know, this went on for some period of time. And then I got the chance to worship. And I like to be anointed, which means, you know, have Jesus, you know, rub your head. You know, like rusty.

Hey, buddy. And so we do a little of that and all that stuff. So I'd had this experience this morning, right? And then just as he often just shows me that that's real, right? As I'm getting ready for the show today, I'm clipping this clip that you might have heard in the previous about I had Moses. And I went back and got the Jeffrey Miller clip that I had recorded some weeks ago. And I'd forgotten all about Jeffrey Miller saying, well, it was kind of like I was on this roller coaster ride. And it was like, whoa, I don't know if you remember that. But, of course, when I hear that out of the clip, this when I'm recording that today, I'm like, oh, my goodness. I mean, I just experienced that. So, yeah, Jeffrey, I know exactly what you're talking about. You know, we've been on this roller coaster ride and it's like, whoa. And so it's really fresh for me.

And they just like it's stuff that, you know, you can't make this stuff up. It just happens. Looks like your hair is a little messed up. Tussled it a little bit much today.

So that was his wife coming up behind him. Robby, you're flying again. Wake up.

Harold, what about you? How do you draw near to God in confidence? Well, one of the things that is really great for me is using the YouBible on the phone. I do a study with a couple of other people.

And when we do that, we not only read the material, but we make comments of our own. And the introspection that I get into with that is not something that I would have done in the past. And I think me drawing through that to God helps me to know more about me, some of which I'd rather not know, I'll admit. But it also shows me some of the good qualities that I do have. Because I'm just like everybody else.

I've got good and bad. So I draw near to God through those studies. Or He draws me near to Him through them by showing me me.

Thank you. So similar question, but slightly different. Where in life right now is God drawing you near to Him in confidence? In what aspect of your life? Any thoughts?

An example of what you're looking for? Yeah. For me, this last year is drawing close to Him in my finances. I've always kind of, God, I'll give you your part, knowing that He gives it to me all anyway. But I've just really been walking with Him in my finances this year, doing things a lot differently.

I haven't used credit cards in a long time now since last November, and working off cash only, and trying to pay some things off, and trying to move into a different place. And it's a very fearful place for me at times, because stuff still breaks down in the house, or the car has this that happens, and the temptation to use those things. But to say, no, I'm going to draw near to you and trust that we're going to get through this.

And He gives me creative solutions. For just an example, this year I've been wanting to do some projects around my house. And I'm like, but God, I don't really want to spend the money. I have a little bit of money in savings. I don't want to spend it. I don't know what it's going to bring. And I just felt this feeling of, well, what do you have around the house that you don't need anymore? So I went and cleaned out my garage and sold a bunch of stuff on Facebook Market.

And I wouldn't do a project unless I had the money that I sold it to do the project. And it's just a totally different way for me to approach things. But it's so much healthier. It's so much better for my heart.

I'm not building a debt bank that I've got to pay off. And I'm having to learn to walk with Him a lot differently. And I'm learning to do that in a lot more confidence, because He's giving me thoughts and ideas or ways to deal with some things that I would have not done before.

Does that give you an example? I think an example is that He brings people into our lives that wouldn't otherwise be there, that also help us to draw closer to Him. Yeah, it's amazing who will put in your lives at what time and in which situations, especially when you look back like you were talking about before. So for me, it has been my word of the year family, not just my immediate family but my whole entire family, getting closer and closer with you guys all the time, which is priceless. My church and the family I have there are believers.

They're phenomenal. They're very, very supportive. And they just helped me move here not too long ago. And then my actual family, my aunt had terminal cancer, got diagnosed, was able to go back for a week and visit her and some other relatives that were able to come in before she passed. And then we also went back for a funeral then and had some time there. So it was just really, really great family time. And then it's also a chance to witness and give your testimony about where you're at. So it's nice having other very strong believers in the family where we can kind of just have that conversation in front of those who don't believe. And it's comfortable. I can do that now with so much more confidence than what I would have a year ago, two, three years ago.

It's just drawing, drawing, drawing, drawing near. And then you get more confidence to witness at work and say things because there's some wonderful believers at work that you can say things with. It's nice when you can be open about who you are and who you believe in. Thank you.

Robby, Wayne, either of you guys have thoughts? Yeah, for me this year, I didn't see it coming actually. I knew my word was engage, but apparently it had to do with my health that I got COVID. And that sent my blood pressure crazy. But at the same time, God had provided this mountain bike.

And I began to exercise in order to get my blood pressure under control. And this was not an easy thing because I live in a very hilly neighborhood, very hilly neighborhood, and I had this mountain bike. And quite often I had to walk it up the hills. In fact, some of the neighbors would laugh at me and say, oh, you're taking your bike for a walk again.

Yeah, very funny. But nonetheless, I took my bike for enough walks to the point that I could actually get up the hills. And then over a period of time, I've gotten to where I just love to ride that bike.

And then here recently, I just feel like God has sent me these messages that he really enjoys this time that we're spending together on the bike, which I actually try to do every day along with my nap. And these deer have come out. And I've come to really – for me, and anybody knows me, I'm a deer hunter. I've found deer I don't want to shoot. This one deer I'm pretty sure is my friend.

It comes out almost every night now. And it will stand at the top of the road, and it will wait until I get up there, and then we'll just kind of greet each other, and then it'll kind of walk. I mean, it's like we just see each other. And I can just tell it's God winking at me like, yeah, I know you love deer, and here is this, you know – and she has two fawns that are still, you know, spots. And it's just a beautiful thing. And Robby, if there's anything I know about you, you are definitely like the deer that panteth for the water. You are definitely thirsty for more Jesus.

And it's one of the things that I've watched, and it has drawn me to one of that much more. Absolutely. Thank you. So you don't name the fawns like fillet or something like that? You should start giving it corn and fatten her up.

Yeah, having season is not that far away. Well, you know, I really – I can't even believe that I really have no desire. In fact, it would hurt my feelings if somebody shot this deer because it's just like we've become friends. Like I see it almost every night. It's funny how where the different places it will pop out, and there it is.

And I haven't even named it yet, but I have to come up with something. So Wayne, what about you? How is God drawing you nearer to Him right now, or how are you drawing nearer to God rather? He's asking me to do some really hard things coming up, and I actually kind of started walking into some of that already. And it is extremely important, the confidence that we have in who He is as our Father and who He's told us we are, the promises that He's given us in Scripture and getting alone. We talk about this drawing in confidence towards Him.

One of the things that I do is I sit still and I wait. I wait for Him to give me a Scripture, a word, whatever. And here lately I can ask a question, and He'll give me a book, chapter, and verse to go and look at, and it is the answer to that question. And it's gotten to the point where I just sit still now, and I just wait for Him to tell me, because He knows me better than I know me. He knows the questions. He knows all the stuff, and I just wait for Him to tell me. And I have to ask Robby a little earlier if he had read Isaiah 43. He gave me that the other day, and it is dead in line with what he's calling me to, and it's just amazing how he speaks to my heart and draws me in, and then asks the question. Rodney said it earlier, do you believe me?

Or maybe it was you. I don't remember. But it is the question that he asks us is, do you believe? He wants us to believe. He truly loves us, that He is our Father. Yeah, in your answer, you kind of went where God's had me on this question, you know, what happens when you draw near to me?

That's where, when you brought up the topic, you know, where my mind kept going is, what happens when I do draw near to Him? Well, I learn more about Him and His heart, obviously, but I learn more about me and my identity, not what I've been told that I am or what I've thought to believe that I am, but who He created me to be. And I learn more about others. You know, I learn more about how to love others better.

I learn more about how to accept others to where they are right now in their walk, you know, and not be judgmental, which I would have been 15 years ago, a lot more so. You know, He puts me in a place where I see more through His eyes, you know, which is a much healthier place than looking through my own, obviously. Yeah, that's where I'm definitely a judgmental person, and that definitely is one of the things that I find which helps me recognize it, at least. You know, I think I've cut down on that somewhat, but at least I can recognize it when it happens and go, okay, what's the situation, what's going on, and being able to be quickly retrospective on that and, you know, work through that and say, okay, this is where you're sinning in this judgment and where you may actually be righteous sometimes. And judging kind of leads us to a clip that you have. Yeah, there's a little judgment. Just a little judgment.

You want to set it up? And so in the movie, Aaron Brockovich, you know, she's a person who becomes an advocate and helps this big lawsuit against PG&E back in California in the day, and she gets hired on by this law firm because she just helped them win this big case and a lot of money. Well, now she's in this big-time law firm, but she's not the big-time lawyer. So she is, you know, she's thought she's really negotiated some really good money in this bonus and what she's going to get if this case comes through, and now she's into her second case, and things are, you know, really going well, and she's going to, you know, get even more money probably from that one, and she's just riding the high of, you know, look what I'm doing, look at me, and the boss walks in and says something about the bonus, and it may not be what she expected, and you can listen to a kind of play out here as he teases her down the path. Oh, what's up? I have your bonus check. Oh, yeah.

Now, I want you to be prepared. This figure's not exactly what we discussed. Why not?

Because after careful consideration, I felt that figure was not appropriate. Although you may not agree, you have to trust my experience. Trust?

You want me to trust you? Do me a favor, Ed, don't use big words you don't understand. It's a complicated issue, Erin.

I did a job, you should reward me accordingly. It's not complicated. You know what, that is the problem. All you lawyers do is complicate situations that aren't complicated. Do you know why people think all lawyers are backstabbing blood-sucking scumbags?

Because they are. And, you know, I cannot believe that you are doing this to me now when I'm up to my in Kettleman plaintiffs, which, by the way, looks like it's going to be double the amount that we had in Hinkley, and you expect me to go out there, leave my kids to be looked after by strangers, knock on doors, get these people to trust you with their lives, and the whole time you're screwing me. I want you to know something, Ed, it is not about the number.

It is about the way my work is valued in this firm. It's about how no matter what I do, you're not... As I was saying, I decided that the figure you proposed was inappropriate, so I increased it. Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize?

Because you suck at it. Could you imagine sitting there thinking, you've negotiated all this big settlement, and you're like, you're kind of getting some respect because of what you did, the hard work you put in, and all of a sudden, you're being led down the road of, well, you're not going to get what you thought you were going to get, and of course, you go to, I don't trust you, you're not going to give me what I do, and then she looks down and sees a $2 million check sitting in her hand, which is way more than she negotiated for, and that's when she had that abrupt stop in her conversation there and was just like, oh, I guess I do trust you, and that's what we need to do a lot of times. I remember how many times that I've been down this path of I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'm thinking it's all in my control. I've got to do everything, and it's like, oh, that's right. So whatever is going on here, I do need to trust that it is what's best for me because, Lord, you have it in your hand, that big hand that Robby was talking about.

What I liked about that clip, honestly, was the authenticity of it. Oh, yeah. It's a little bit raw for what we would typically use, but honestly, if I put myself in that situation, I could be in a very similar place if I was really feeling like I was being taken advantage of and being very authentic, and I think as we're authentic with others, we need to take that authenticity to our Father because he already knows it anyway, Wayne. I mean, you've talked about it.

He knows it's better than we know ourselves, but take that authenticity to him and just let him work on that. You know, if it's a place where I'm angry, okay, I'm angry. If it's a place where I'm scared, I'm scared.

If it's a place where I'm... Fear? Yeah.

Yeah, any of that, right? He already knows it anyway, so just taking that authenticity to him and letting him draw you near to him, right? And then that will give you that confidence as we talk about, you know, for the next time that you come up to that place where you're angry, you're scared, you don't know where to turn, right? You say, okay, I'll go where I went last time. I'll go to the Father and he's going to help me, right? And then when you get to be Harold's age, you just spend all your time with him, right?

Because you've done it lots of times. Go to masculinejourney.org. Register for the upcoming boot camp November 18th through 21st. This is the Truth Network.