Loving in Spite of: Rerun

Hello, this is Matt Slick from the Matt Slick Live Podcast, where I defend the Christian faith and lay out our foundations of the truth of God's Word. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network.

This is the Truth Network. The heart of every man craves a great adventure, but life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here now.

Welcome to the masculine journey. We are glad that you're with us this week and I'm glad that you're with us every week. Andy, did you have something to say? It sounded like you kind of cut in there right as I was opening the show. I apologize. I was trying to turn the, but you were coming in loud, too loud back here, so I'm just trying to turn you down. All right.

Don't worry, stories. I thought maybe you had something really vital you wanted to throw in on the topic. No, no. You know me. I don't say much. Okay.

Well, welcome to the masculine journey. Andy's with us on the phone as you've figured out. We're going to be talking with him and in studio, there's five of us, which is nice to have a group again.

With COVID, we've been kind of depleted at times. And so it's nice to have a, I don't know what you call it, but a lot of people, which is good. Yeah. A majority. A majority. Thank you. Yeah. I couldn't think of the word. Maybe a minority.

Maybe. A minority report. Okay. Thank you.

This week's show. Okay. I got to confess.

I got to confess up. I give Robby, not Rodney. I give Robby a hard time for the movies that he likes. Right. Especially my Barbie movies. The Barbie movies, the Camp Rock. Yeah. Yeah. I could go on. He wears them well.

He does wear them well. And he brings out great points in those movies. But so I'm sitting around a couple of weekends ago. There's not a lot going on. So I'm just kind of flipping around watching some TV shows and some movies. And I find myself watching a couple different romantic comedies, you know, and for as hard time as I give Robby, and this is a show, a man's show, you know, that we do, I love romantic comedies. I enjoy them, especially when they're done quite well.

And so there's something in my heart. Some people refer to those as chick flicks. They do.

They do. I am choosing the term romantic comedy. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Instead of what? A rom com. It's just a rom com. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, as previously known as chick flicks. Yeah. Sleepless in Seattle. You're getting the picture.

Yeah, I think I think there's a fine dividing line. The notebook. This was neither of those was it?

No, I did like both of those. Oh, yeah. So anyway, I'm watching this and I can't remember what movie it is. And there's a statement that's made in it. You know, this person's really complaining about this other person, you know, that they follow the kind of the same formula. People meet, they don't really get along very well. And then they fall in love. You know, that's pretty much every romantic comedy out there.

Harry Met Sally. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Or they come some level of friends, but there's a lot of tension. Yeah. Doris Day, Rock Hudson. Yeah, that's for the people of my generation. Errol Flynn. They even did it before they talked right here in stone.

Barney and Betty Rubble. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Well, so I'm watching this rom-com and I don't remember even what movie it was, you know, because I watched a couple of them that weekend. But the statement was made, and it was enough that I rewound it a couple times and played it again. And it wasn't like it was that deep of a statement, but it really spoke to my heart. And it was, the guy said out of nowhere to this lady, you like because you love despite. She's like, what?

What are you talking about? He said, well, you like people because of who they are. There's something about them that draws you to them, their character, their sense of humor, their quirks, their mannerisms, those types of things. There's something about them that you like and you're drawn to them. And a lot of times those same things, you love them in spite of those things. Now he said despite, I use the word in spite.

You can kind of use them separate. I mean, in exchange for one another. But, you know, you love people in spite of those mannerisms of their character, sometimes of their opinions, right? Those types of things. And so it really struck a chord with me that as you, as friendships, as relationships develop over time, it's kind of the story. You know, we all kind of came together as a group of friends, you know, because we liked something about the other person. But the more you're around other people, if you wanted to focus on the things that annoy you, there's plenty here.

I give off plenty of stuff for you guys to be annoyed about, right? But just think about any friendship or any relationship. I mean, as the start of a romantic relationship, that's usually the story. There's something that you're drawn to with that person.

But fast forward, you know, 15 years in a marriage, a lot of those things are driving you crazy now that you were originally endeared to. Does that make sense? Yeah, make a great show topic, Sam. Yeah, I know.

I'm spending a lot of time setting it up, and I don't know why. Okay. Yeah, that's good, though.

Because it really speaks to a lot about relationships and about the word love period. It does. And it's very practical. I mean, it applies, I think, pretty much everywhere. Yeah.

If you've been in any type of relationship over any period of time, a lot of it depends on what you choose to focus on. There's things you can be intentional about, right? Yeah. If I want to focus on the fact that they never put the clean dishes away, that's going to drive me nuts. How they load the dishwasher.

Or how they load the dishwasher. That could drive you nuts, right? Or I could love them in spite of how they do those things. Yeah.

Good choice. But instead, most of the time we love in spite. We're very spiteful of them over those things.

You know, and it's kind of that play on words of, no, we are called to love in spite, just not to be spiteful about that. Yeah. You could let one dominate or the other. You can choose over that, which one you want to let dominate. Absolutely.

Absolutely. So I want to go ahead and get to a clip. I'd like to get to your clip.

Um, Danny, I realize I'm, I'm pointing and people can't see me pointing. You get two microphones pick from one or the other. So why don't we go ahead and set up your clip a little bit and then we'll play it and come back and talk about it.

Okay. This clip is from movie tombstone and it's after, it's toward the end of the movie and there's been a big battle scene and wider kind of does this miraculous walking through flying bullets. And so the scene is focused on doc holiday. And one of the guys that is in their, their band is says, um, where, where is he? And doc makes a comment.

He's down by the Creek walking on water. And, but the clip is basically, they're asking doc why he's there because he's very sick. He has tuberculosis. I think, and you're just very sick should be in bed. And he says, well, Wyatt Earp is my friend.

And the guy says, well, I got lots of friends. And doc says, I do not. And the contrast between Wyatt and doc is doc is a very interesting character with lots of different personality flaws and, and very colorful personality.

And, you know, why it is the, the opposite of he's law Biden and doc is not, but, and they're an odd couple at sorts, but I'm sure there's lots of love and spite. Yeah. So we'll go ahead and play the clip and come back and talk about it. You ever see anything like that before?

Ain't never even heard of anything like that. Nothing. Where is he?

Down by the Creek walking on water. Well, let's hope he's got another miracle up his sleeve. Let's find no Ringo. He's headed straight for us. If they were my brothers, I'd want revenge to him.

No, make no mistake. It's not revenge. He's after. That's a reckoning.

Dark short of being dead. What are you doing this for? Anyway, Wyatt Earp is my friend. I got lots of friends.

I don't. So Danny with that, you know, you were saying here, you have two people that are from the outside looking in or polar opposites, you know, one's kind of law abiding, you know, he's a sheriff, right? And then so he's law abiding and the other one's borderline outlaw, but yet they're, they're best of friends, at least in this movie, they are. And so what was it about that clip that really spoke to you? Well, I thought about a friend I've had for several years who is kind of abrasive would be a mild word. And they, Mike, I met him and he just has the propensity to tick you off in about five minutes of conversation.

Never met anybody like him, but I've loved him in spite of who, who he is at times, because underneath the surface of it all, there is a kind, gentle heart there that, and most of the time, whether it be a wife or a friend or something, what I find is if you can get beyond stuff, you find who somebody truly is. And we talk about it a lot going after their heart and, you know, the, my wife will tell you, I'm not easy to deal with most days. There are times when I'm very sick.

She had to do with lock me in the bedroom like she did last week. But, um, the, it is in spite of those things because love at its very nature is a verb that you have to choose to do. So, and that's, that's kind of where I went with that was that, you know, I'm sure why it probably would just soon just shoot doc at times and vice versa, but the in, in relationships, I have to choose to love my children in spite of who they choose to be.

Sometimes I have to choose to love my job in spite of things. And so that's just kind of the thought process. Yeah. I was thinking along the lines of children. Um, and that's probably the one that's one of the easiest to relate to, I think for a lot of people. Cause I think as you watch your kids grow up, you don't really approve of a lot of the choices they make.

Um, you don't necessarily agree with their stances on certain things, but you find a way to love them in spite of those differences. Right. And you do that with friendships. And I, and I think about, you know, the chapter and was it second Corinthians 13, right? The, the love chapter, you know, as you start going down those, that lineage of, of things, it's all about, you could just put the word in spite, you know, the words in spite there. Yeah.

You're doing all these things. Love keeps no remembrance of wrongs, you know, those types of things. And it's all about that concept of how to really love somebody in spite of their character falls or brokenness or woundedness, all those kinds of things. And, and that comes into play in relationships like our ministry.

Doesn't it, Rodney? Yeah. And I would go right back into when you were a child, especially a teenager. I mean, I remember I love my parents in spite of the fact that they just don't understand, you know, it was just, I mean, when you're a teenager growing up, your parents are the dumbest people in the world.

Right. And that I just went through with my teenagers being the dumbest person in the world. So, you know, now they're at least out of that. I'm not as dumb. I'm still pretty dumb, but not, not quite that dumb anymore, but you have all those relationships. And really when you look back through it and what God's taken you through to learn through those relationships, you, you wouldn't toss that out. It's like, okay, there were some tough times. There was some rough stuff, but my gosh, it's really shaped me into who he's meant me to be.

Yeah. One of my favorite times with each of my kids, and I'm almost there with my youngest is when dad's no longer an idiot. And dad may actually know a couple of things, you know, it's, I'm hoping, you know, that that's a joyous day. When you get there, go to masculinejourney.org. We're going to have a bootcamp coming up at some point, don't have the date quite yet, but go to masculinejourney.org to find out what we're doing. We live in an on-demand world, time, weather, meals, and content. That's why the Truth Network has the Truth Podcast Network. Some of your favorite Truth Network programs, plus some that are podcast only.

Rich content that is rich in the word. The Masculine Journeys Joyride Podcast. Authentic moments of truth and laughter with the guise of the masculine journey. You'll learn and laugh and even be touched. A greater understanding of Christ is only a joy ride away. The Masculine Journey Joyride Podcast at truthnetwork.com. Hi, this is Sam with Masculine Journey.

I'm here with my son Eli. We're going to talk about ways that you can help support the ministry. One way, you can go to smile.amazon.com. Go to smile.amazon.com. There's information on our website there on how to do that. You can go to Facebook.com and click the donate button, or you can go to masculinejourney.org and find the donate button, masculinejourney.org.

Or if you want to mail something in, mail it to PO Box 550, Kernersville, North Carolina, 27285. Yeah, I cut your song off. You know, that's one of those songs, you listen to it, your foot starts like, you know, pumping. Go read the lyrics, right Rodney?

I mean, it's nothing like you think it's going to be. That's why when it hit me this week, and you had this topic, and it's like, why is this song stuck in my head now? Because I haven't heard this for years. And it's just one of those catchy tunes, you know, it's like, you jump right in, you remember it immediately, all the words are coming back to you. And you're like, this is a conundrum of a song, right? These lyrics.

And then I said, well, I need to go look up the lyrics. What is he actually saying in here? And you're like, there's a bunch of, you know, a bunch of word times using love all throughout this thing. But yet he's talking about use your love and things of this nature. And it's like, in spite of everything he's saying, he doesn't want to be loving, he just wants to be using. And it's just a completely antithesis kind of the where you really wanted to go with this. And I'm like, this whole play on words of, in spite of, despite, and things like that.

I'm like, this kind of fits in with this whole play on words. And it's like, it's not what it is on the surface. The song is named Your Love. And there's nothing about your love in the song. It's all about me wanting to use you. And it's just a consumer mentality. It's completely and I was like, oh, this is a definite play.

It's not, not what it seems on the surface. Yeah. If you're of dating age out there, which could be any age at this point anymore, but if you're dating age, probably not put it on the playlist. It's not a good song.

You know, it's a, it is a, you know, but it is the things you listen to and you go, that's, it's really catchy. Yeah. But what we're talking about today is the opposite of that, you know, loving people in spite of their flaws. You know, they might not see them as flaws.

They may see them as strengths, but you know, you see them as flaws, you know, and loving them in spite of that. And, and it's hard, but that's what we're called to do. You know, I really think of the environment our country's in and not to get on either side of the political equation, but wouldn't it be good if we could love each other in spite of our views.

Right. And right now there's sometimes that seems so impossible in the society we're in. You have a really, really good friend. We've been friends for 35 years and we don't agree politically. So we don't talk a lot about politics, you know, because we've realized that's not a great place for us to focus our attention, you know, but we love each other deeply because we've been friends for many, many years.

We've just learned to love each other in spite that we view things differently. Right. And he's very passionate about the way he feels. And I'm very passionate about the way I feel on certain things, but we've learned, okay, that's probably not an area to, to go in or into very often because the fruit's probably not going to be good.

Harold, did you have something you want to add? Yeah. My sweetheart and I have been married for 56 and a half years now. Guess how many differences we have, and yet we still love one another, but she loves me in spite of some of the things I do that drive her crazy and vice versa. But the greater thing is that we have a commitment, first of all, to one another with God as the third partner in that. I mean, we're, we're committed that regardless of how aggravating we get to be, we will be together because we don't have, have a different choice. So we have to work it out. Robby can attest to some of the differences that we have.

I saw him over there laughing. And yeah, we do. We've, we've sort of switched personalities since we first met. When we first met, I was very outgoing and gregarious and laughing all the time. And she was very withdrawn, shy and so forth. Now we flipped. I'm the one that's typically quiet and withdrawn and she's all over the place.

She can't meet a stranger. And so, but you know, the, the point I'm wanting to make is that the word's already been used as choice. We have a choice to make and we can either and we can either focus on the negative and make a bad choice or we can say, okay, I can live with that. Yeah. In the midst of it though, you have an enemy that wants to stir everything up. Oh, absolutely.

You know, you haven't been married 56 and a half years and haven't heard somewhere along the way while she's driving me crazy with fill in the blank. Right. Right. And that's the enemy just trying to get you to find evidence to support that position because whatever we focus on is what we're going to find evidence of. All right. So if I want to focus on those things that are driving me crazy, I'll find plenty of opportunity for that, but it's focusing on the other things, the love pieces that make it make all the difference in the world. Rodney, do you want to go ahead and set up your clip?

Sure. This is from a movie called a monster calls. And in this movie, the main character is a little boy about probably 11 years old at this stage, but early in his life, his parents split up. So he grows up without his mother and his father remarries gets kind of another life.

The boys picked on at school, he's not getting along there. And there's kind of this monster that haunts him the whole time during this movie that becomes where he gets intimate with and he talks to. And it kind of comes to his point in life where now he's mom is dying of cancer.

She's in the, she's in another country, she's in the UK. So he never really got to be with her, but as he's there visiting, this scene comes into play where she's just told them this treatment regimen that they're on now, whatever this new one was is not working. And so a couple of things you need to know about this clip that you can't see happening and things are may not be as clear in the, in the audio is when she says con, she's just calling his name as Connor. So she'll say that a couple of times con, and it was kind of, it's kind of hard to pick up if you're not attuned to that. And the other thing I want you to be watching for is when she comes in and basically says, this is the thing I'm most sorry about in my entire life, which is the fact that she's dying. She reaches for his hand and he pulls away.

And that's when she kind of is like, Oh, I got to, I got to reach into his heart really, really deep here. Cause he's angry and really frustrated, even though he loves me. How can it not be working? Things have just been really fast, just faster than they thought. How can it not be working? I don't know.

I don't know. It has to. So what happens now?

What's going to be the next treatment? So sorry. I've never been more sorry about anything in my life. It's okay that you're angry con.

It really is. I'm pretty angry too, to tell you the truth. But Con, Con are you listening? One day, if you look back and you feel bad for being so angry, you couldn't even speak to me. You have to know that that was okay. That I knew, because I know everything you need to tell me without you having to say it out loud. And if you need to break things, by God, you break them, break them good and hard.

And I'll be right there, Con. I wish I had a hundred years, a hundred years I could give to you. Wow.

That's very powerful. Just the loving nature of the mom there. Well, you, you, the, the son too, cause he just, you know, there's gotta be something you can do, you know, to save your life. He does not want to lose his mom, but he's angry and frustrated over this whole thing. So in spite of being separated from her for so long and her not really being a big part of his life, he loves her dearly. He's there to decide, just, just cannot believe he's about to lose his mom. Then his mom is just so angry and frustrated. And here he is kind of worried all about himself really, and not caring for her at the time.

I mean, he's, he's young yet, right? He doesn't get all this stuff. And so in spite of all that, she's still loving him. And she realizes that in spite of the fact that he's acting this way now, it's going to be different later on. He's really going to regret this. And she's given him permission to be angry, to be frustrated and really to enter into, I'm giving you forgiveness now for what you're going to be thinking about in the future.

And that forgiveness is a huge, huge part of what we all need. So he's going to, he's getting that now ahead of when he's going to need it because she can't give it to him then. Yeah.

And he won't, all he'll have is regrets at that point to look back. And so she's given him the out from down the road that he can't even see. Right.

Cause she's much older and has that vision of where that's going. Yeah. So Andy, I've went pretty much the whole show without asking you anything. We've got a couple minutes left, but you know, I want you to think about the journey you've been on in Sonship. You know, and God, doesn't God really demonstrate that to us every day? He loves us in spite of filling the blank.

Well, it was me cause I got it all together. Beauty of being the son of God. Uh, for sure. You definitely, uh, you definitely, I mean, it talks about how a father who loves his son chastens his son. And, you know, obviously I've grown closer.

I've heard me talk about it. I feel like I've really see God as the father of the way I didn't, the way I should have probably the rest of my life. I'm kind of slow about it, but when I had that epiphany, you know, I totally feel connected to God in a way that I've never had before, but that also opens up something to where you have that evil when you do something wrong. And I've done some things recently who just, uh, Oh, it may or may not be related to road rage or not, but, uh, stuff like that, that comes up at, um, whenever you know that you're out of line and to be corrected that, you know, that you're being corrected in love. So you still know that regardless of what you do, he does love you.

He doesn't want you going out there and trying to figure things out on your own and you will need to depend on him, but he is merciful and, and loves you in spite of what you do. And he's the best example. I mean, we were, we're probably talking more about how we do it with each other as an individual, but he sets the perfect example for us.

Yeah. You know, I, I can hide to some degree, my thoughts and feelings from you guys. I can't do that with God. I mean, God knows all the dirty laundry, right? He knows everything. He knows every thought, but yet the love is just overpowering, right? Because he chooses, yes, he has to deal with me to your point. He has to deal with me on things that need corrected, right? So that I can have a better life.

I can have a better hope for a future. Right. And, but that's all done out of love as you point out, but in the midst of that, he just loves him immensely. Absolutely. Yeah. Robby, I didn't get you into this show hardly at all.

It's all good. I'm really excited about the After Hours show because I know what's coming. Andy's got that, the White Squall clip, which is an outstanding movie we discovered here lately. And I got something from A Beautiful Mind.

So wow, we got a lot more to go on Loving and Spying. Yeah. And that's, that's the movie, A Beautiful Mind. That's not referring to yourself. How do you know? Oh, I'm just guessing.

It's just a ponder. Go to maskandjourney.org. Reach out to us. Send us an email. We'd love to hear from you. A show topic. Great movies you've seen along this lines and things we talk about. If you see a great movie, point it out to us. We'd love to see it. We'd love to learn more about you and your story and how we could pray for you. Any of those things, go to maskandjourney.org. Pick up the After Hours show on any of the podcast outlets. Talk to you next week. This is the Truth Network.