Poser

The heart of every man craves a great adventure, but life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here, now. Welcome to Masculine Journey. We are a little bit down in numbers today.

Well, around the microphone, we're down in numbers. We've got about seven people here, but there's just four of us. sitting around the microphones today. Yeah, I had to use my fingers. I just tried to not put them on the video so people wouldn't see it.

But we are continuing our series that we're working on. And Andy, you want to remind us what this series is?

So we call it foundations, and it's our foundational beliefs or what we um you know, just what we've experienced through our wild at hard or masculine tyranny and just, uh those those Those ideas, those topics, if you will, of just what plays into the foundation of our faith. Our faith, but also uh an expanded faith that we have come into understanding with the wild at heart message.

Okay. That's a way to say it. Yeah, probably not exactly what I know you want to say. That's a way. Thank you.

Robby, how would you phrase that? Buy the Wild at Heart book. It's going to follow certain key premises in order to help you develop a better relationship with God and a better relationship with others. Understanding yourself more, too. Right.

As you get a chance to take a look at God, the closer you get to the real thing of what a man is, you can begin to see where you. you have some room for improvement. And so, you know, one of those areas we're certainly going to talk about tonight. Yeah, yeah. And so I'll add to what you guys have said.

And wild at heart is a big part of what we do in the Ministry of Mascone Journey, it's not the only thing. Right, you know, we're going to use a clip tonight from one of the other people who've had a big impact on us, which is John Lynch. Yeah, out West somewhere. I can't remember where he's at. Arizona?

Is he Arizona? I was thinking Arizona, but I couldn't remember for sure. But there's been lots of pieces that go into it. Yes, John Eldridge's ministry and the things they've done through Wild at Heart has had the biggest impact second to the Bible. Second to the Bible.

Yeah, second to the Bible. Yeah, we're not supplanting the Bible. We're not one of those ministries. It's foundational, all of it. What I see Wild at Heart as being is there's teaching.

That that's referenced in the Bible. It's a way of Helping you understand the Bible in a deeper way and how it applies to you, the message is all there. It's just like the idea of a lot of the brokenness we have. Comes from Genesis 3. And it's going back to Genesis 3 and helping us understand how we in humanity have got things messed up.

And there is a way that God restores it. Of course, it's through Jesus, but that's usually the start of it. Then Jesus takes you on through the rest of the process to truly experience healing. Yeah, and in this foundation series, we're laying out the foundations of our ministry, the things that we believe to be truths that we've seen God work in our lives. And the things that we want to share because we've seen the power in what God's done.

And so through the series, we'll use things from Wild at Heart. We'll use things from Boot Camp. We'll use different things along the way. We're going to use one today from a talk that John Lynch did at the Navigators, which is quite awesome. It's on YouTube.

We'll play that here in a little bit, but it'd be worth your listening. It's about 45 minutes. Not the greatest audio recording on it. There's a lot of buzz in it, but it is quite powerful. And so what do we stand for?

What's the beliefs behind what we do? And what are we trying to do? We're trying to help others become more intimate with Christ. Right. That, you know, to walk more fully with the Father.

Right. And 'cause that's what we're trying to do. And so that's kind of the nutshell what our ministry is. If you go to a church page and they say, What do we believe? Yeah.

A lot of that and a lot of that is totally there's those things, you know. Virgin birth, death and resurrection of Jesus, Holy Spirit, all those things. We could also maybe we should do something like this on the website. It's like those things like pose p Poser, what we're going to talk about tonight. Just jump into that.

That all goes back to Genesis 3 and what we believe is that man began to hide himself from God because of his shame and his nakedness and how to become real before God. It's a part of the Bible, and it's all in there. But part of it is the Bible says that you have to go after this stuff. You have to investigate it for yourself. You have to seek out these things.

And John Eldridge did a great job of laying it out of the heart of man and how to recover your heart. Yeah, and we are talking about the poser today. And so, what a poser is, just and there's lots of ways to explain it, and I'm sure others will jump in here. But a way you can explain it is when you're less than your authentic self in front of people in order to try to deceive them. to try to make them think something different of you than what is different than the truth.

And you guys can add to that if you want, but that's a pretty simple term, you know, and it's uh not always necessarily uh something malicious. Right, it's just I try to put up a false front so you won't really know who I am at my core because I'm trying to hide something I'm ashamed about. Right? Doesn't mean you're supposed to have shame. On it.

But it's something I feel like the enemy's been pressing on me that I got to hide. And so the first clip, I'm going to use my clip. Go ahead, Robby. Jump in just a bit. Yes.

When you say that you intend to deceive, if you yourself don't even know you're doing it, I don't know that you have the intent. Right. to deceive necessarily, because a lot of times I know I'm posing and I And I'm doing that because I intend to deceive, obviously. But there's other times I have no clue, and my intent's not necessarily involved, but they both end up in the same place that. you know, obviously if there's a mask involved, um people aren't seeing what's really there and not only that, Who I'm pretending to be is getting all either the love, hate, or whatever else is going around, and I'm not really experiencing life.

I mean, when Adam. Stitched together or whatever the fig leaves for the covering. I'm not sure he fully. He felt. that there was a breakdown between God and there was shame that came in.

But I don't think he really understood why or why he even felt like he needed to cover himself. I just I don't know. You know a lot of times we don't. We don't. Exactly.

That was the point is we just don't know why we do what we do sometimes. Yeah, and so we're going to use the first clip, which is from John Lynch from the talk with the navigators. And then the segment, he's talking about this topic of masks. And masks is when you put on something a false front, right? We're going to call it the poser.

He's talking about mask. It's really the same thing, but what is behind that? And so I'm going to let him explain it because he does a much better job than we do. As early as we can remember, we have performed for acceptance. If I'm good enough, if I'm talented, diligent, beautiful, together enough, right, correct enough, I will be loved and accepted and blessed and happy.

And if not, I will be rejected and receive a lousy life. You better put on a good face, you better act like you're somebody different than who you actually happen to be. No matter how you feel, you better put on a good show. Said, Dog, gonna just be better than who you are, for goodness sake. Don't be a whiner, fix yourself, try harder, do more, be better, don't have so many problems.

Watch over your shoulder, keep up appearances, get better in a hurry, and if you can't, act like you are. Because you are constantly on trial. It is genetically wired into us since the fall. We learn early on how to perform, how to do the dance. The highest value is being accepted, and it appears the means of that acceptance on this planet is performance.

And performance is hard because I fail. Another result of the fall is the assumption that nobody else fails quite like me. Isn't that right? I assume that you guys have it together. and that I'm failing in a particular, unique, singular way.

And so I live with the awareness of just how poorly I know I'm doing. And so I must be unfit, I must be unworthy, I must be unlovable, I must be unable, and now I make it. And I'm scared. I don't want to be, but I am. And now I know.

that nobody must know. I've got a posture, I've got to present myself. I've got to mask myself with enough reason to be loved. I must brag. I've got to put others down.

I've got to pretend that I'm more than I am. I've got to idealize myself. I've got to posture and mask. And so I do the dance and I put on the mask. There's a lot of words in there.

I really like John and the way he puts things because as he talks, I just think about times in my life. that I felt that way. It's not every day consciously. It's not every moment of every day. But there's definitely been seasons or events.

Then I really felt that way, that I could not be myself in front of people, that I needed to put on a mask and and and feel different. And I guess part of the question I'll you guys talk about, but I'll ask this question in a minute, but what's wrong with that? What's really wrong with putting on a mask? But uh from from John's little uh Part of that talk, what what from there spoke to you guys?

Well, people when you put on a mask, they they love the mask and not you. And then, where's that authentic love? And really, when I was thinking about it, that's the same thing that happened to Adam. He he was b He felt like he was the it was broken between he didn't receive God's love, but he put on a mask, maybe to think to make the shame go away so God would love him again, maybe. And I think it's funny that God takes an his fig leaf and gives him uh kills an animal and put covers him in that, which to me is more of the sacrifice, I'll provide your your Solution here, and it would be Jesus later on.

But it's just that whole thing of. People don't really know you. They don't really love you of who you really are, the essence of who you are. It's who you want them to. Thank you R.

Right. What about you, Robby?

Well they clip that I was thinking about as I listened to that was, you know, the genius of Shrek. Right? That in the particular scene that we we play this clip quite often, that he he has rescued the beauty and he's wearing this helmet, which is covering his face, and it's a mask, right? Because she doesn't know at this point in time that he's an ogre. But he doesn't know that she's an ogre, right?

And so she's wearing a mask. You know, if you're familiar with the movie, Underneath This Beautiful Exterior is an ogre. And. He looks like an ogre, and she, when she realizes he's an ogre, like this is all wrong, this can't be right, I can't be, you know, connected to an ogre, and of course. He doesn't see that he fits in and is perfect.

It's exactly the way every marriage works. It is, because You know, my wife, when I think about that, you know, she had no idea my struggles with pornography and all that, and she had me up on a pedestal in ministry, da da da that Robby's all this. Right? And so the mask got all the love. And she was under the illusion that I was Prince Charming when, really, ogre.

Okay. And. You know. Yeah. Yeah.

when the mask came off. And she actually was able to forgive me and realize who I really am. then that forgiveness was unbelievably precious to me because then actually I was being accepted for who I really was. and being loved for who I was and you know it's all the difference in the world. Yeah, when we come back, we're going to talk more about this topic, obviously, but why do you not want to pose?

What's wrong with that? You know, one of those is that you don't get the love, you don't get the true essence of a relationship. We'll talk to you about that after the break. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the boot camp coming up in November. What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your regular walk with God.

It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. I think sometimes as men, we feel like we're on our own and we've got to do everything ourselves, and the weight of the world is on our shoulders, and it's our job to fix everything and make everything right and have all the answers. And I think when you come here, you just get really honed back in and reminded that God really is for us. That a good father helps you, and a good father makes sure you have all the tools you need, and a good father comes through for you when you need him and you just feel less alone. Register today at masculinejourney.org.

There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark. You should know you're beautiful, just the way you are. And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart. No scars in your beautiful stars, and we're beautiful. And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart.

No scars in your beautiful stars. Welcome back to Masculine Journey. And so you can listen to that bump and go, what in the world does that have to do with talking about poser? And if you don't know the lyrics, I'm not going to read them to you, which I normally do. Just going to tell you the premise of the lyrics.

There's a time to read lyrics and there's no time not to read lyrics. Exactly, exactly. But she's singing about there's scars, your scars make you beautiful. You know, and the problem is we try to hide them to a world that says that you're ugly because you have them. but we all have them.

And so it's a really cool secular song that really points to a real truth that God made you uniquely the way He made you. For you. Right? And your scars that you have that make you who you are. And it's in those moments that others can be brought closer to God when you share that with them.

Right, and so part of the problem with posing You know, if you're not authentic in front of people, they live in that trap that John Lynch was talking about that I must be the only one failing because everybody else seems to have it together. When the truth is, no one really has it together. That's hard to relate to the perfect guy, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean and the enemy uses that quite a bit too because uh he he gets you into comparing and And social media is horrible for that, where you look at everybody and think they have the great life or whatever and And You just have to do Or be who God created you to be, but it's hard because we are. We are conditioned to impress. Yeah. We are, you know, and part of that whole thing of being authentic in front of people. is Well, let me say it this way.

Rob, you said you don't relate. I always struggled when I went to a church where the pastor didn't share personal stories. Of where they're challenged. Right. Right.

You know, I've always responded much better to a pastor who talks about their failures. 'Cause I can relate to failures. Right, because I feel them all the time. I try my best not to have them, but I have them. And to know that other people that try to walk strongly with God have them as well gives me hope.

Right, it it it's it's the opposite effect of what people think it's going to do. You know, and so it's always great to share those things. And I love that the picture. That's painted sometimes. That, you know, the mask originally was this picture of putting wax in the cracks, right?

You know, you saw the scars, so to speak. You put wax in there to hide them.

However, When you melt the wax out of there, then light can shine Right, God's light shines through those cracks because then. God is the hero of the story, not Robby, not Sam, not Andy. But You know, if we Actually, as Paul said, if we boast in our weaknesses, then he's made strong, right? And that's the deal. Yeah, well we're going to move on to your clip, Robby.

And so we're going to go from a very, very good movie. If you haven't seen this movie, it is quite amazing. It's one you got to stay engaged in. I mean, it it it took me a couple of times trying to watch it to watch it, honestly, but I loved it when I did watch it. Trying to get in the camera.

It's hard to cameraize yourself anyway. I don't even like it. But you can't do it. I don't know. That's an amazing movie.

And the point that God was making for me through it was that quite often you don't know. Where are you really not being authentic? You don't know because the. The deal is is sometimes your pose works for you. And you are getting traction with it that it becomes second nature and you don't even know you're doing it.

Did I say the name of the movie? I don't know if that's the name of the name. The King's Speech. It's also the name of the clip.

So, in this particular movie, it's about King Charles. This was the king that was king of England at the time of World War II, right at the beginning of the war. And he, unfortunately, You know, his brother advocated the throne, and he didn't see it coming that he would be king, and he didn't necessarily feel. that he was You know, gifted to do it because of this stammering problem that he felt like he couldn't speak. That based on some child abuse, actually, from his child, that you find out through the movie, and that's a true story.

So this man comes from Australia who is actually a very, very gifted speech therapist who had worked on all these people that had come in out of World War I, that had been gassed and all this crazy stuff that happened in the trenches. And he begins to work with him. But he's not a doctor, he's just an experienced therapist. And so when the king finds out that. You know, essentially, he didn't have this background.

Then, all of a sudden, he began to get this picture that Satan painted: that, oh, he's just using me as a star pupil to make a name for himself. And he accuses the therapist of being the poser, which is funny about the thing. He's accusing him of being a fraud.

So what the therapist does to me is genius. He sits down in the throne. I'm like, they're in the throne room of England, right? And he sits down on the king's throne. And when he does, you can hear kind of.

It's a capital offense too, right? It is. The king won't get his voice. Here we go. Lock me in the tower.

I would, if I could. On what charge? Fraud. With war looming, you've saddled this nation with a voiceless King. You've destroyed the happiness of my family for the sake of ensnaring a star.

Patient you couldn't possibly hope to assist. It'll be like mad. King George the Third.

Okay. Mad King George the Stammerer. Who let his people down so badly in their hour of need? What do you think? Get up.

You can't sit down. Get up. Why not? No, that is not a chair. That is.

Don't That is St. Edward's chair. People have carved their names on it. Is the seat on which every king is by a large rock? That is the stone of schoon.

You are trivializing everything. Listen to me! Listen to you by what right? By divine right, if you must. I'm your king.

No, you're not. You told me so yourself. You said you didn't want it. Why should I waste my time listening? Because I have a right to be.

I have a voice! Yes, you do. You have such personal. Perseverance, Bertie. You're the bravest man I know.

They'll make a bloody good king. Yeah, it's beautiful. A beautiful, amazing. seen in a great movie that clearly when put under pressure the man can speak and he has a voice and he should be heard. as he's got great values and you see that through the movie.

But he wasn't aware. That part of his deal was that it was opposed. The reason why I used it is is where I really struggle and where I feel like you can get the most traction with this particular part of our message and our fundamentals, is that the worst pose that you can make is the one where you're posing to God. And again, you don't know That you're posing to God. You don't know that you're not being authentic.

But beautifully, you know. We don't want to leave you without hope. That God dismantles you. We did a show on dismantling, disrupting, and He will disrupt your pose because He knows you're doing it. Just like that person in church, when you ask Him how they're doing, they got this look on their face like the world's coming to an end.

Oh, I'm fine. Are you? And once you begin to walk in this message and you can really help people, you're not trying to embarrass them or anything else. Digging a little deeper, like what's really going on? Because you really care, and God does too.

And because of that, He disrupts you, but be prepared. Right? To realize that, oh my gosh. There are certain things that I am not completely comfortable You know, in God's presence. Yeah.

And honestly had a remarkable experience this morning. Where And I was praying. And when I went to the throne of grace boldly, in in complete authenticity, Jesus starts wrestling with me. Like, I'm serious, he puts me in a headlock. And I'm like, what's up with this?

And he was just playing. He was just Playing. Why? He was exposing how tight I was. He was exposing that this was very stiff and this wasn't.

The woo You know, a father and son. Like, you're, you know, how it is when your dad puts you in a headlock and gives you a snuggie or whatever. You know, it's just part of what, you know, what's supposed to be there. But it was just remarkable to me, and I won't ever forget actually what happened. It was this morning.

That you're still the boy. Yeah, you're still a boy and and he still wants to play and he still wants to have fun. And and and Robby, you you you're showing up at the throne and you're tight. And so, what would you do with your son if he showed up like that? Like, come on, those snap Robby.

And God's going to do that. And it's the most remarkable. Wedgie. Holy nookies. No, you're exactly right that you would do that with your child or someone you love, you would try to.

dig in somehow and get them out of that place. Right, to get them into a place of authenticity that they may not really see that they're they're they're not they're not showing at the time. But we've got just a couple more minutes in this segment. Is there anything you'd like to leave with people before we go to the after hours and do that? If you don't know what the after hours is, that you haven't heard, you'd have to go to our podcast location to get that, which is any podcast location or masculinejourney.org.

That's a great place to get it there because all of our podcasts are there as well. But anything you want to leave with him on the posing? The one thing I would add, the one thing that posing keeps you from doing. If God put you on this place uniquely as you to be you in this world, to show this world a piece of Him that only you bring, Right. That's what we believe to be true.

They were all made in God's image uniquely, in his image, and something specifically he had designed with you in mind when he put you on this earth to bring to this world to show them a vision of him. Right? And if I'm not authentic, how are they going to see the true me? I mean, it goes back to that scripture about. Are you going to hide your light with a bushel?

Right. That's what you're doing with that. I'm just. Sitting there thinking about that. That is a form of posing.

Yes. Of your being afraid. Being afraid of the glory that God's put on you. We do. We digress.

So is that Adam ask? I don't know. Yeah. Sorry, Andy, you were trying to make a difference. No wonder I pose.

Well, yeah, we we we beat you into submission of these things. I think another thing though is is the pose typically ties back to something in your past, particularly a lot of times in your childhood, some kind of wound, some kind of thing. I mean, I was a hider as a kid. I can remember Getting up and singing a Christmas play, and for whatever reason, I was young. But you're really too y ol I mean too young to really be embarrassed, but for whatever reason I was and I ran out into the audience and those things stick with you and I've always struggled with being in front of people and that kind of thing.

But I want To let God's glory in the way He created me to show more than I want to stay in that. Place of comfort.

So that's dealing with the posing. And as you kind of alluded to there, that often we find that at boot camp, we do the poser talk, then we do the wound talk. It's always in that sequence. The pose does come out of a wound most times. There's something painful that you're not wanting to deal with, you're not wanting people to see, and so you hide from it.

And so it goes much, much deeper than what you see on the surface. But go to masconejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp November 20th through 23rd. MasconeJourney.org. We'll talk to you next week. Mm.