Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.
So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here. No. You know, I don't know how many clocks. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours.
I don't know how many clocks we have to have in there that we can look at, and I still am surprised when the music starts playing to start the show.
So, if you're watching the video feed, you saw us jump, you know, to after hours, things get dark. It does, it does. It's not quite like the art jump, though, whenever he was playing the previous week's show, and he thought it was the music coming on. That was a good one. Yeah, you were, yeah.
Yeah, that got us good. That was probably the most we jumped on anything. But welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. We are continuing our foundation series, and we'll be in it for a while.
So, you hear us say that for a little while until God takes us to another thing he wants us to do. But right now, we're in the middle of our foundation series, and we're really just talking about the core beliefs of the ministry. The things that have given us life, that's drawn us closer to Jesus, that's got our walk more intimate with Him and led us into truths about ourselves and things like that, and things that have impacted our lives and hopefully the lives of our families, you know, that are different because of the things God has brought to us through these fundamental things. And so that's really kind of what we're exploring and digging into and talking about again. Right, and this this we didn't talk about it 'Cause we hadn't gone deeper yet.
Yeah. Was the poser d digs deep into identity? Right. And and she goes Brought out so beautifully that we're made in God's image, and that's deep in our identity. But if you put any kind of cover over your true identity, who you were meant to be, then you literally rob all the world of what God wanted to reveal through you.
Grab. Right, and and you don't do it knowingly lots of times or You don't understand why you do it, if it is knowingly that you do it. But it usually comes from a place of hurt in the past, that the enemy has saw you try to rise up and you've gotten wounded in that area and you've made this agreement to say, I'm never going to do that again. And so you put this pose in front of it to hide. You know, and that's stuff we'll talk about in upcoming weeks.
We'll talk about wounds, we'll talk about agreements and how they all tie together. There is a theme that kind of works through this, but they're all intertwined and one leads upon the the next. And so we're just continuing to unpack the poser and why we shouldn't do that or do our best to try to get away from that. And what do we gain when we walk in our true identity? You know, and we talked about some of that last show, and Robby, you talked about, and Andy talked about the love that you actually get to feel from other people.
Because they're not just loving who they think you are, they're loving who you are. And so, how powerful is that to know: wow, they know my warts, they know everything about me that's bad, and they still choose to love me. is so much better than they love me because they think this. Exactly. And so, you know, when you talk about intimacy, and Robby's favorite saying about breaking down intimacy is what?
Into me see. Exactly. Right, and so when you have intimacy, you have to let people in to see you for who you are. And so Andy, we get to your clip. One of your clips.
And so, this is from a really funny movie that we've all enjoyed in our youth and Harold's middle age. He can't talk for himself right now. His voice is going out, so we just gotta pick it on him. But anyway, if you wanna tell us a little bit about it. This is um Kind of a boot camp army Um In in the barracks, just talking, and you've got a leader, uh, Sergeant Hulk, and then you got John Winger, who is the the uh Bill Murray character who is basically he's the probably the biggest poser in here.
And then there's um a a reference to Lee Harvey, who he's kind of kidding with. And You got something wrong? I saw you reach for the. I'm ready. I'm ready for, you know, anticipation.
Yeah, but you'll just see one guy trying to rise up and, you know, act like he's a leader when, you know, he's really not a leader. But, you know, another thing is why I wanted to use this clip is last year, an example. I was hiding my glory of being able to work in the kitchen. And I was doing my best because we took on the kitchen duties last year. And at the end of it, Robby was like and you I should wait.
You got to hear this. You got to hear this. I set that up. I cut it. I'll talk about it.
But anyway, you'll just see the poser in here and the humor in it all. It speaks for itself, and then I'll talk about it. Yeah, before I play it, if you do get a chance to watch Stripes, this whole scene is all a bunch of posers. Right. Yeah, there's a couple authentic people in there.
You pick them out and you go, okay, that was at least authentic. But it's mainly posers. Yeah, it is, but we have to kind of keep it short. This is one section of it because it is rather long. It is.
Here we go. It's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell.
So much fun and imagination. Lee Harvey. You are a madman! When you stole that cow I want to party with you, cowboy. The two of us together?
Forget it. I'm gonna go out a limb here. I'm going to volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot. Without a big toe.
And Sergeant Hoka isn't always going to be there to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause. to our newest best Bestest buddy. Big toe. Sergeant Halker.
Well, okay, hot shot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are. Yeah. Wait. Yeah, you get it.
You get it. He was really posing, but yeah, r uh Robby just went on and on. I was helping out in the kitchen, and I was really doing the uh The French toast.
Well, I'd never done French toast. And he just. He just went on and on and it was like Lee Harvey, you're a madman. With that French toe. I want to party with you.
I want to party with you. And I was like, there it is. I just got rid of another pose, right? I'm in the kitchen. It was so fun.
It really was a great time. Right? Yeah, you had to be there. Yeah, i in this scene. From the movie, you get to really see Bill Murray's character it has a desire to impress.
You know, he's tr he's already been in trouble with Sergeant Halka a few times and he's thinking how he can smooth you know, smooth things over and make things go easier and Halka sees right through it. You know, and you can hear it in his laugh. He's like, Ah, d you know that he's going to be getting it again. But that that's part of that type of the poser that you have when you're knowingly doing it. You think that you're you're trying to deceive somebody into believing something that's not necessarily true about yourself.
You know, and so that that's one version of it. And as Robby pointed out, there's times you don't even know you're posing. You know, in our last show, I'm going to play a clip of another Bill Murray scene. And this is when men most often pose. But he's somewhat posing here.
A little bit, but he's more gathering information so he can better pose. Right, yeah. Would be a way to say it. He's in reconnaissance right now. He is.
He's in recon. And so this is from Groundhog Day. It's Bill Murray. He's going to the diner with his producer, and he's wanting to know more about her, is what he tells her. But he's really wanting to try to date her and not a very nice way.
And so we're going to go ahead and play the clip and see where he kind of goes with it, and we'll talk more about it. What are you looking for, Phil? A date for the weekend? No, I'm just Interested in you. You know, what do you want?
What do you like? What do you think about What kind of men are you interested in? What do you do for fun? Is this for real, Phil, or are you just trying to make me look like a fool? I'm just trying to talk like normal people talk.
Isn't this how they talk? Plus.
Okay, so talk to me. Let me buy you a cup of coffee. And a donor.
Alright.
So what do you want out of life anyway? I guess I want what everybody wants, you know. Love. married children. Are you seeing anyone?
I think this is getting too personal. I don't think I'm ready to share this with you. How about you? What do you want? What I really want is someone like you.
Oh, please.
Well why not? Uh wh what are you looking for? Who who is your perfect guy?
Well first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect. That's me. He's intelligent. Supportive, funny. Intelligence supportive funny.
Me, me, me is romantic. courageous. Me also. He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes. I have a great body and sometimes I go months.
Without looking. He's kind. Sensitive. Gentlemen. He's not afraid to cry in front of me.
This is a man we're talking about, right? He likes animals. children and he'll change poopy diapers. Does he have to use the word poop?
Okay. Oh. And he plays an instrument. He loves his mother. I am really close on this one.
Really, really close. What I liked about this movie, when you first watch this movie, you're like, okay, there's no redeeming value in it. It's just a. silly fluff movie. It is really deep, quite honestly.
It deals with the topic of trying to control your life. And how you really don't have control. And in this, you know, he tries his best to pose to get her to love him. That's really what he becomes after. He even takes up playing a piano and he has to practice it so many times.
Because in this movie, if you've never seen it, literally, it's like 20-some years old. Groundhog Day, he repeats the same day over and over, but he's the only one that knows that it's being repeated.
So everybody wakes up and it's February 2nd, it's Groundhog Day every morning, but he knows what's happened the previous days before, no one else does. And each day he progressively manipulates the situation for his benefit. And adapts. He adapts to it. He adapts to it.
Yeah, and later on, you see in the movie where he adapts his pose to really try to win her heart over. But in the movie, even though it is a movie, right, and you look at it, when does he actually win her heart? When he becomes real. When he's really authentic with who he is. He quits trying to do it and he just lives his life in the things that he can uniquely do.
And he stops being a groundhog. That's right. That's right. And lets his glory come out to where he's beneficial in helping people, not just trying to extract something from them. Right.
You know, in that movie, when he finally does win her hard over. Right. And she's able to be there on February 3rd, and he actually has a new day that arises with him and it happens with her, is when he quits worrying about what's good for him and focuses on what he can do to help others and to love on others. And she sees that and falls in love with that. His authentic self.
And that's a big part of it: that these times that we go, and often men. pose in front of women to try to um no boast, right, to make themselves look better. But you know, the beauty of that, and I love the genius of these you know, you can't help but see God's handiwork in it. That she is posing to. She doesn't even know what she wants in a man.
She thinks she wants this guy that she just described. But what it turns out at the end of the movie, you see somebody completely different. And again,. You know. God knows All these things about us that we really don't know.
And so we fumble our way thinking we know. But quite often, therein lies the issue with pride, which is hard to believe and understand that it is pride, is the reason that we put a mask on when it would look like it's humility. But it's exactly the opposite: the mask comes on. Yeah. Because we're trying to hang on to our pride.
So we can stop acting. Yeah. And we need to be an authentic self. We're going to play one more clip of a different view of posing. Then we're going to come back and talk more about posing and finish up with some conversation.
But, Andy, this clip is yours from a movie called Goodwill Hunting, right? Yep.
So you got Will Hunting that's this brainiac that's actually working as a janitor. He is hiding. And posing isn't always asserting yourself, it can actually be. pulling back. And not allowing your glory to rise.
And that's what he's kind of done. He's this brainiac and he's do he's being a janitor. He doesn't want to step into that because some wounds from his past. And then you've got Chucky. He's the g first guy, the Ben Affleck character that you hear, and he's schmoozing the women.
You could he's obviously obvious pose. And then you've got another guy there, this frat boy, that tries to expose or try to tried to pose and you know just make Talk down to people or whatever, but it's really a great scene. I call it the poser buffet because there's a lot of posing going on. And it's really easy to see as you walk through it and the different poses you see here.
So. Absolutely. And so we pick up with Chucky trying to talk to the women. That's right. Right?
And try to impress them. Exactly. So here we go.
So I think I had a class with you. Oh yeah? What class? History. Maybe?
Yes, I think that's what it was. You don't necessarily Might not remember me. You know, I like it here. It doesn't mean because I go here, but I'm a genius. I answer every spot.
Hey, how's it going? How are you? Good, how you doing? You want to get it? What class did you say that was?
History. Just history? How'd you like that course? You know, frankly, I found the class, you know, rather hell out of- Elementary. Elementary.
You know, I don't doubt that it was. I remember that class. It was. It was just between recess and lunch. Clark, why don't you go away?
Why don't you relax? Go away? I'm just having fun with my new friend, that's all. But we could have a problem here. No, no, no, no.
There's no problem here. I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities especially in the southern colonies. could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist. Of course that's your intention.
You're a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some Moxian historian, P. Garrison probably. You're going to be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you're going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740.
That's going to last until next year. You're going to be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood.
Well, as a matter of fact, I won't because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions. Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth. You got that from Vickers. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?
But do you is that your thing? You come into a bar, you read some obscure passage, and then pretend you you pawn it off as your own as your own idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my friend. See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years, you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own, and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped $150,000 on occasion you could have got for $1.50 in late charges at the public library.
So you got Will the poser exposing the other poser poser Frat Boy who is exposing the other poser Chucky. Right. So you s you see it all there. And You know, um Sadly, that's what we see a lot in culture. A lot of people are just oh, that's overt.
You can usually see things a lot better in a movie than you can. Ours may be a little bit more. Uh refined. or developed or hidden or whatever, but Posing's there. And Again, it's just the point where for the longest time I didn't realize how I was.
There were times when I think I've told you. This is an example. There was a variety of things. I would assert myself in work and try to be the smartest guy in the room. That's a common thing.
You're competing with all these people who have knowledge and all, and do that. But then, if I would be out and I would see a. be see somebody that I hadn't seen in a long time. And I wasn't dressed the way I wanted to or I just didn't want to be bothered or whatever. I'd they'd be going down one aisle uh aisle and I could have reached out and said something to 'em.
Now I'd go the other way. That's another pose. a variety of things that you do to Avoid being yourself. And and if you're not confident in who you are, if God's not healed your heart, Why why why would you? But if you allow him to expose your pose.
And you allow him to heal that and to get back to who you are. Then you You look for those opportunities because, again, your glory is showing, and it's not yours. It's. He's shining through you and you want to You know, you want to be around people. You want to, and again, you have your introvert and extrovert, and where you get your.
um energy from and that kind of thing, but you can still Be that type of person, yet allow God's glory to come out. He made you uniquely in a way. And I just don't want anything. This is my desire to live as true and real as I possibly can in the way He created me because I know that's where the most freedom and the most joy and the most. Um Feeling of purpose that I'll I'll get is if I actually live real and true.
So I can forget the world. Yeah. And I love the movie Jerry Maguire and we use these clips from because again, they bring hope to the healing of the situation that as you are actually hiding the camera on me. But You know, Jerry McGuire has gone through work and he's looked like he's extremely successful. But he's being eaten alive because he knows that he's actually harming his clients.
He's really not taking care of him. And God disrupts him from, and that's what God's going to do with all of us by this little boy who catches him, you know, not taking care of his father's health because he keeps getting all these concussions. And he says, Oh, your dad can handle it, he can play. And he was posing. And the little kid got really mad at him because of that.
And when he saw himself. right? That all of a sudden you see in the mirror how ugly that that these poses can become and it totally disrupted him to where he he you know, had a moment where God Dismantled him so that he could rebuild who he really wanted to be and rethink and structure his life in a way that. And it's a beautiful movie from that standpoint that that gives us hope that when God does that, he also provides a way out, like it says in the scripture, that that that that way out is him. Mm-hmm.
is is seeing where he would guide you through that very difficult. struggle to become who we are. Yeah, one of the most painful things that'll happen to you is having your pose exposed. Right. But one of the most gracious things that God does is he has that habit.
happen. Whether he orchestrates it or he allows it to happen, so that you can find healing and that you can find the true self underneath. It's one of the most painful things, but honestly, one of the kindest things that he ever does for your heart. Because you get to learn more about you and learn more about him in the midst of that. And it brings you closer together.
Yeah, absolutely, in that process. Very rarely will we will we realize it and take action on ourselves. I mean, it takes some kind of. Exposure and usually he's the one exposing it. If if he's not directly involved in it, he's definitely indirectly involved in it or somebody else.
I hesitate to say that because I don't really know what's going on and it's probably all orchestrated by him. I'm just saying sometimes somebody will say something. It may seem random. that gets your attention or speak into that. Did he use that person or was it Just from him I have to say that it w that he's using that person, but I don't know, I'm rambling here.
I think the long the longer you walk the longer you walk with him in this topic, the longer you do it, the less that he needs to do a big disruption. Yeah, true. And and more the Holy Spirit prompts you. And you'll go, oh, I was not genuine there. in it it'll bother you at your core.
Right. And you go, Okay, I don't want to be that way. I I've lived that way. You know, and it becomes more of an internal disruption than an external disruption. And and there are a lot of times I still feel that.
at times. One big thing that he helped me get away from is, I felt like I had to be an expert in my industry. I've done the same thing for 40 years now. I work in an industry you'll never master knowing all of it. And I just tell my clients very clearly when I meet with them that it's always my goal to give you the most correct answer I can.
And even though I've done it for 40 years, don't be surprised if a lot of times I have to say, I'll get back with you. I need to go research this some more because I've learned through very hard times of having to recant things that I said without doing the research that was wrong and then make myself look really stupid that I don't want to do that. And what I find in being authentic with people and saying, you know, I really don't know as much about that, I had this happen about two months ago. One of my clients sells metal roofs for a living. And we put a section of metal roof on a house now in the community I'm in.
I don't know a lot about metal roofs. In most of my career, I've never done them. I've done tile, I've done asphalt. Never done metal roofs. And so he was asking me questions.
I'm like, look, I know you know more than I do. I'm going to have to research this stuff. But one of the good things that was really cool that happened from that, when he sent in his survey, not just to me, but he did a Google review on the thing, he talked about just how much he appreciated the honesty. of saying, hey, I don't know, but I'm going to find out. You know, that people appreciate authenticity more than anything when you're genuine with it.
You know, and God's really helped me see how to do that in my work area. Where he needs to help me grow is in my personal life some more. I think I'm very genuine for the most part, with the exception of. If something's bothering me, I'm not the quickest to share it sometimes. When I really should share it more, or if I'm not feeling good, I don't tell people as much as I should.
You know, and people ask, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm fine, I'm good. You know, when I'm really not, because sometimes you just don't want to get into that conversation, and it's a form of hiding. You know, and this is even with people that I know love me deeply and dearly. And that's the current area God's working on my heart to say, look, you need to be more authentic with these people around you. I have them around you for a reason.
Yeah, and it One of the opportunities we want to make sure you know is that by coming to a boot camp and being in that environment. and having this talk and just being there alone with God, watching these movie clips, for you don't just hear them, you're actually seeing them and you're hearing the guy from the stage, and they're going to hit you with these questions. And then you're going to go out In the woods, you know, out there with God, and you're going to have a covenant of silence where you can sit down with God and have a real chat. Actually, you got to feel them. And I can't tell you the healing we have seen, all of us, through our own stories, but also through other men that we've had the joy to.
you know work with of this particular talk having gigantic breakthroughs in people's walk with God. Yeah. The linchpin things that you gotta be able to get through this part to get to the deeper meat and the different deeper stuff underneath. Yeah, to get to the wound you have to dismantle the pose, I think you do. That's a statement, but yeah, and then you to see spiritual warfare more clearly, you have to see how you've been attacked, right?
And that that they all kind of build again on one another and they're all intertwined. One of the things that too that To your point, Robby, about the boot camp is certainly you get along with God and you begin to ask Him, how do you pose? And maybe. You know, God will bring things to your mind. It'll be ding, ding, ding, ding.
But what helps also is you can relate to the guys and the stories that you hear from the stage and people being authentic. And and we I mean, it has been freeing to get up there on the stage and talk about my worst stuff. Brian. Because that disables the enemy. If you tell it, he can't hold that against you any longer.
It's out there, and there's freedom that comes from that. But that's like ripping off. The fig leaf. Right. One of the most common things we hear in the surveys we do after boot camp, we just ask them two questions: How did God come after you?
And how can we pray for you? One of the things we hear more frequently, we hear amazing stories about God and what He did, but when it talks about us, it's about we really appreciate. Appreciate the authenticity. I knew I could be myself because I saw others being themselves. And that's what we'd invite you to do.
Come be yourself with us, be yourself with God. More importantly, go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp. It's coming up November 20th through 23rd in Royston, Georgia. Beautiful, beautiful location. We'd love to have you there with us.
If you need help with finances, let us know. We'll help you get there, and we'll talk with you next week.
