This Friday, return to theaters for Avengers Endgame Encore. I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one, reassemble the team. Six zones, three teams. One shot. Relive the experience.
You mess with time. Time tends to mess back. The story continues. Tony, this is a second chance. Don't miss Marvel Studios Avengers Endgame Encore.
I mean, Theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Reading PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Welcome to the program.
I'm Jim Rome.
So we start hour number three. Been a very interesting day, a lot going on. This stream is back. Jackson Dart, we thought initially when he went down last night, it looked really bad. And the initial reports were: you know, it's not as bad as it looks.
An MCL, exposed to an ACL, and he tried to get back on the game. They just wouldn't let him. And then he stood on the sideline the rest of the game.
So, how bad could it be, right? And then they said they would know more today when they had further evaluations. And then they had the evaluations, and now it sounds much worse than it was. Based on reporting. And we're still finding waiting to find out exactly what it is.
But Adam Schefter reported that it might require season ending surgery. There was none of that last night. All right, so we're going to hour number three. That's been one of the big topics of the day. If there's something you want to talk about, go ahead.
We had Eric Wood on. He broke down the bill situation and hit pretty much every single angle right there. Did a great job with that. I want to go to a new topic. For a new hour.
And it's something I meant to get to yesterday, but we had so many other things going on. Let me just say. After suffering Arguably one of the worst losses in franchise history: a loss to the Browns. Loss to the Browns, dropping Tampa Bay to 0-2. There have got to be some really nervous people in that Tampa Bay facility right about now.
And yes, I did say that was one of the worst losses in franchise history. And that is saying something because remember, in their very first season, they were winless. They ran the table backwards. In their inaugural season, they were 0-14. You lose to the Browns.
Well, no. You lose to the Browns is the Browns. And the creep, and you drop to 0 and 2, that is some house cleaning bleep right there. That is the kind of loss that gets nearly everybody fired. But don't tell that to the Browns is the Browns coach.
The monkin. Because the monkin doesn't know he just beat a bad Bucs team. And seems to think that he just beat The Seahawks, or the Rams, or the Niners, and that he just won the Super Bowl, and Roger Goodell is going to hand him the Lombardi. Because the monkin is out here dropping F bombs about how the Browns. Isn't the Browns?
They're a little pissed off. Right? You ought to be a little pissed off. Played awful. It wasn't a standard.
Browns are gonna browns. That.
Okay.
So the the guys took that to heart. Thank you. A little pissed off.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, Fabio.
Okay.
Did First of all, the Browns is the Browns, the Monkin. The Browns is the Browns, the monkin. Let's be very clear about that. Secondly, Easy the monk in Man, what are you so angry about? What are you rambling on about the standard for?
Why are you acting? After being there for all of one win. Over a bad Bucs team. That that's the standard. And you're spraying F-bombs everywhere and talking about how pissed off you are.
You're not firing anybody up. You're only embarrassing yourself and showing how clueless you are. You haven't created some new standard there based on one incredibly unimpressive win. The standard is the standard. And the standard was created over decades of that football team being a factory of misery, a factory of sadness, and decades of abusing their own fans.
Okay.
That is your standard. One lame win over a lame team where heads are about to roll does not erase years of misery or create some new standard or give you the right to stand up there all pissed off, spraying F-bombs at everybody. This is why a former divisional rival got on TV. a head coach, and said, Browns is going to Browns. Browns is going to Browns.
Because they have. Three years. And just because they didn't for one Sunday does not mean you get to jump on that podium and F-bomb everybody. And I mean, effectively, demand to know how my ass tastes. Tell me how my ass tastes.
That was the only thing missing from that. The monk in. Take all your F-bombs. And your little kiddie show. And take them all out of here.
While that might have been your Super Bowl. The monkin Stop acting like it's the Actual Super Bowl. I would tell you to act like you've been there before, but you obviously haven't. And you couldn't have made that any more clear than you did when you got up there and started to F-bomb people. Like, you see, that's the standard.
Browns is the Browns. Browns is the Browns. Browns is the Browns, dude. You have to do a hell of a lot more than beat a bad Tampa Bay team before you can start saying that the Browns isn't the Browns. The Browns is still the Browns.
Okay, okay. A win over the Bucs, the Tampa Buccaneers, does not mean the Browns suddenly isn't the Browns. The Browns is still the Browns.
Oh, and congrats. Congrats on the creep. That's like saying the creep isn't the creep. The creep is the creep. The Browns is the Browns, and the creep is the creep.
Congrats on the creep finally not playing like us for the first time since they made that horrific trade for him and signed him to that even more horrific contract. And what do you have to show for all of that? A win over Baker Mayfield and the Bucs who are circling the drain. As for you, Bake, my guy. You absolutely, positively cannot lose that game for any reason.
You can tell me you have played in way more important games than that, but you know that that's not what you were telling yourself all week long. You know the second that schedule dropped, you had that one circled. You've had some big wins in your career, my guy, both in the pros and in college. But that right there probably was your worst loss on any level ever. Just be glad you were so horrible.
Last year, that the league rewarded you with such a sweet schedule, Browns. The Browns is the Browns. Just be glad you were so horrible last year that they rewarded you with a schedule, which includes going forward. Panthers Stealers Jets. Damn.
By the end of those three games, some of you Browns fans will be lobbying Jimmy Haslam to re-sign that creep. Browns are gonna browns. You're all gonna break out. You're number four. Creep jerseys.
Cruz. Cross it out and put Watson back on. And then you'll be pushing for Haslam to re-sign the creep. Monkey damn, why are you so angry? You're so angry because Mike Tomlins said Browns is the Browns?
Bro, that's not our standard. Yes, it is. That's the whole point. That's why the saying exists: the monkin. When you've been that bad for that long, and that's what your standard is, and that's what you're known for, that's why people say the Browns is the Browns.
The Browns are gonna Brown. Brown's again, Brown. My ass, bro. Easy. You didn't just beat the Rams.
You didn't just beat San Francisco. You didn't just beat Seattle. You didn't just win the Super Bowl. You didn't even just win your division. You didn't win a playoff game.
What are we doing here, the Monkin? You trying to fire people up with that? Yeah. Yeah, I do got to be spatially. Speaking of winning playoff games, you know why the Browns He's gonna brown.
Do you know why that saying exists? The monkin'? Because you've won one playoff game since the team came back into existence. That's why that saying exists. The browns are gonna brown.
Bro, if you want to say It's a new day. If you want to say I'm happy with my guys, it's just one game. Fine. Fine, great. If you want to say even, it felt pretty good to shut Baker Mayfield up.
Great. But don't be throwing F-bombs around and acting like nobody has any right to say the Browns is gonna brown when everybody has every right to say that. Man, that's who you are. You're going to have to do a hell of a lot more than win one game against an 0-2 Tampa Bay Buccaneers team where they're about to clean house before you can show up like that. Come on, man.
You've been there five minutes. And Browns fan, I already see you. I already see some of you acting like, you know, he's not that creepy. You know, he's not that bad of a quarterback. You know, it's not that bad of a trade.
F that. That.
Yeah, Rome, he was a creep, but that was a long time ago. No, it wasn't. He basically told you all to F off right before the year started. That.
I mean, the monking. Easy, bro.
Okay.
Okay.
So I want to get that in there. That dude monkeys monkeys. Really excitable with all the F-bombs. And after one win and two good quarters from the creep. Everybody, easy.
Hey, I hate to harsh on your win, Browns fan, but it can't have your coach showing up and F-bombing everybody after that. You're gonna have to show me a little more and stop telling me what the standard is. We know what the standard is. We've been watching for decades. Because of me, we have the mother of all tour stops.
Have a fresh pig and I can live with it. that because Because of me, we have the mother of course that's fresh pig and I can live with that. Head unity of all. Hate is the new dopamine, right, Jim? Get off monking.
I don't want to deal with the money. I I was the one saying that I can't wait to meet this guy. I was the one that welcomed him with open arms. I'm not the one who F-bombed like crazy. Crowds are going to break after a win that really doesn't mean that much.
I mean, it obviously meant a lot to him. See what I mean? See what I mean about C-Town? C-Town's like, hey man, hey man, wait a minute now, Rome. The creep is not that creepy.
We're easy, Rome. He's actually a pretty damn good quarterback. Hey man, get off the monk's. Get off the monkin', Rome. This is maybe the best coach in the NFL.
Easy, Browns fan. I'm just saying, he should chill the hell out and not be F-bombing everybody like, I told you so. This is the standard. Monkey's monkeys monkeys monkeys. What are you talking about?
Where you been, man? Not around here. Hey Browns fan, where have you been? You have been around here. Got your back, got your back, got your back, gotcha.
Okay.
Back, got you, back, got you, back. This guy nailed it. This was literally what I was going to say next. This guy beat me to it. Jim Rome.
My nitro cold brew brother. The whole reason Monk has that job is because the Browns are going to brown. Exactly. Browns are gonna brown. Perfectly put, Mike in Baltimore.
I was going to make that point next. Seatown, don't you be acting? Seatown. Don't act like I'm the guy coming for you. I've always been the national voice that's had your back forever and ever and ever and ever.
When everybody wanted to kill you, Cleveland, for being Cleveland, I always had your back. I always got in the mud with you, the trenches with you. I love you still, Cleveland. I'm just saying. Let's not get carried away about the standard and take offense to Browns against Browns.
F that. Drums are gonna brown. Aaron Michael 318. Munkin's pissed because he said yes to the Browns. No, he's not.
He's pissed because he feels like the world has disrespected him and the Browns by saying the Browns are going to brown. Bro, have you never heard that statement before? You're the only one. It's another reason why he seems so angry. Like, where's that coming from?
Where's that coming from? They've won one playoff game. Since they came back, where's that coming from? They traded for the creep and gave up a boatload of draft capital. And gave him the biggest contract ever guarantee.
What do you mean? Where is that coming from? Munkin, you're 60 plus years old. You've been in the NFL for years. Why are you so surprised by any of this?
Eric on the south side, Jim. Isn't airing our break takes today? F that. Sign the clones. Browns are gonna brown.
Dude, why is this guy so angry, man? Here comes Ohio. I knew it. Give us Browns fans some effing credit. This is the first thing we've had to be excited about since Flacco Fever of 23.
Yeah. I'm not saying you shouldn't be excited. I don't know exactly what you're excited about. I'm going to ask two things. One, exactly what are you excited about?
Weren't you the same people demanding that the Creep not play and that Shidor play? But now you're acting like the creep isn't the creep, and that he's the Deshaun Watson of yesteryear. when he was one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. I'm just saying. Your head coach need not be up there F-bombing everybody.
In saying That the standard is the standard, and F this belief about the Browns are gonna brown. That's all I'm saying. Hey man, you knock yourselves out. Be excited. Like I said, because you were garbage last year, well, every year.
You've been rewarded with a garbage schedule. Hey, listen, it's gonna get better. You might win again. You might win twice. But you were one of the worst teams in the NFL last year.
That's why you have that schedule. Anyway, C-Town, knock yourself out. I'm not changing my take. The guy doesn't need to be up there F-bombing everybody. After one win.
That effectively asked my take. That.
You don't need to be F-bombing the planet after one win. Over a bad team. You don't have to. Do not need to be F-bombing the planet. after one win over one bad team.
That.
That's not an unreasonable take on my part. Nor my hating. Thank you. Thank you. Okay.
Okay.
All right, when we come back.
Okay.
Hey, go go wherever you want with it. Oh, and by the way, Sitown, before you get mad at me. You're welcome for me having your back all those years. And I want to thank you for having my back all those years.
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My dough never sees a freezer. Faye Hollis makes the biscuits at Hardee's. I'm up at 5 a.m. every day making biscuits from scratch. Easy there, biscuit lady.
Ought to create the Hardee's $2 for $5 breakfast menu. Try the new Oscar Meyer bologna biscuit, sausage and egg biscuit, smoked sausage biscuit, biscuit and gravy, or a cinnamon roll. The $2 for $5 breakfast for a limited time only at participating Hardees. I got up early. The least you can do is show up hungry.
This Friday, return to theaters for Avengers Endgame Encore. I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. Reassemble the team. Six zones, three teams. One shot.
Relive the experience. You mess with time. Time tends to mess back. The story continues. Tony, this is a second chance.
Don't miss Marvel Studios Avengers Endgame Encore. Leave Theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Ready to PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children.
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Some make you upload a photo of your ID to the people selling your data, some just ignore you completely. And a new government report found brokers making opt-outs even tougher on purpose. I'm talking broken links, buried forms, requests that go nowhere. Deleting yourself by hand isn't a task, it's a part-time job. It never ends because deleted data creeps back like weeds.
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60. That's I-N-C-O-G-N-I dot com slash Roam. They built the maze. Incogni brought the map. All right, let's go to the phones.
Speaking of which, Cleveland. Jeff in Cleveland. Good to have you on, Jeff. What's up? Hey, good afternoon, Rome.
Thanks for the vine.
So the Browns are just symptomatic, just a symptom rather, of the hypocrisy that exists in the NFL.
Now, the NFL, Jim, is the most hypocritical sports league in the world. Why do I say that?
Well, they say they're concerned about players' safety, yet they schedule a game every Thursday, three days after these guys have had, what, 70, 15 to 20 mile an hour crashes into one another, and they want to add another game. They say they're about diversity. Yet this last coaching cycle, there were 10 count them, not one, not two, not three, but 10 paired coaching jobs available and not one, not one candidate of color got a serious interview. They got the token interviews because of the Rooney rule. They say they're invested in the communities, but let said community not break them off a tax levy to build a new crib and that so-called owner that's invested in that community will yank that franchise for that city.
Don't believe me, look up Chargers, San Diego, Raiders, Oakland, and even in St. Louis, they build him a new crib and he still moved the team. And they put the hypocrisy out about gambling. Oh, we're so against gambling, gambling, gambling. Yet, They put out odds every week.
Why? They well, excuse me, they release an injury report every week that the coaches don't want to release. Why? So they're Las Vegas because that odds. They're kiosked, gambling kiosked in every stadium.
A Lions player got popped last year for a four-game suspension. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, let me ask you, my dude. Look, dude, I literally don't disagree with anything you've said, but what does this have to do with the Browns?
Well, the Browns sell a so called professional product that has not been won and is not won since 1999. See, Jim, I'm scowered on the National Hypocrisy League when the thirty two dimes that ran it allowed Art Model to move the franchise from here. That showed to me the hypocrisy and the Browns are just illustrative of that hypocrisy. Selling a product, calling it professional when it is a pseudo professional franchise and has been a pseudo professional franchise since 1999. War Guardians winning the AL Central.
War of the Buckeyes winning the national title. Thanks to Vivine, Jim, I'm out.
So we agree.
So, what you just spent five minutes telling me the Browns is the Browns.
So we agree.
The NFL is hypocritical. True. The Browns are a terribly run organization, true. But how do these things connect? He gave me like five or six.
Strong reasons as to why the NFL is so hypocritical, and I agree. All fair. But I'm trying to connect the dots. Why does that let the Browns off the hook? Or is your point that the Browns are every bit as hypocritical as the NFL is because they're trying to pass themselves off as an actual professional franchise?
That's where you lost me. Like, you start to tick off all these things. The NFL is hypocritical. Hear me out, Rome. It's hypocritical because point A, point B, point C, point D, point E.
And my thoughts are Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair.
So I thought you were going to bring that back to. But This is how the NFL is screwing the Browns. No, it's not. You know what the NFL wants?
Well, money. You know what Elisa wants? More money. You know what it wants most of all? Money.
But there is one thing the NFL does want. Parody. Parody Going all the way back to Pete Roselle. Remember him? Parody.
Parody. This is why teams draft in inverse order. The worst teams, such as the Browns is the Browns, Get to pick first. They want parody. And in a way, they've actually kind of achieved it because teams can go from worst to first and first to worst relatively quickly these days.
And that keeps things interesting. And why do you want that? Why is that a good thing?
So fans of bad teams have hope. Every single year. You can go from bad to Too good. Like look at the lions. You could make the argument that the Lions is the Lions for years and years and years and years, and then they make a couple of key changes, and all of a sudden they're playing for a Super Bowl.
Yeah, look. Browns fan, I'm not rooting for bad things to happen to you. I'm not. I'm not. I don't want you to be miserable.
I don't want you. to be a factory of misery. I'm not like, oh, damn, they won. No, and no, and by the way, it's not about, yeah, Rome, you're just pissed because your dude Baker lost. Don't even really care about that.
Although Baker, I don't know how you lost that game, honestly. But that's not what it is. My whole take was: why is the monkin F-bombing the planet over one unimpressive win? Why is it now that some of you Browns fans have decided that the creep is not that creepy? Or, or.
That he's actually a pretty good football player still. Based on what? When I'm watching this game, what am I seeing? First of all, the guy, all the talk going into that game was: the creep is playing for his job. Like he's out of time.
Out of time. Too toxic, not good enough. And if this guy is not a bad game, they're going to set him down. Have you heard that narrative too? That narrative that he was saying things like, by the way, I never even want to be a Brown.
I never even want a beer brown. But what was I supposed to say? Node all that guaranteed money? Like it's all so toxic. And now you Browns fans are like, hey, Rome, come on, man.
Take it easy. Can we not have some happiness here? Yes. Yes. However, Watching him, he didn't look any different to me early in that game.
Dink and dunk, dink and dunk, dink and dunk. Playing it safe. Trying not to make a mistake. No chunk plays, not throwing it downfield. And then all of a sudden you see Tampa Bay is so bad on defense that there's actually opportunities.
And he thinks to himself, you know what? What the hell? Maybe I will throw it downfield. Oh, it worked. Maybe I'll do it again.
Oh, it worked. Maybe we're gonna win. I don't know, Seatown. What a freaking roller coaster ride. Even with the monkin.
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not having lunch with him. You know why? I don't want him to start F-bombing the waitress if the waitress comes over or the waiter comes over and says, hey, coach, the Browns is the Browns. That.
Look, it's obviously working because some of you are pushing back already. He's already rallying some of you around because some of you are pushing back on me. Never mind that I've had your back. Hey, good news is, like I said. The schedule is soft.
The schedule is easy. There are winnable games on that schedule.
So if you feel good now. Look who you get to play next. It could get better. And then you're going to be up here. Banging on the desk.
Resign the creep. Resign the creep. Alright, let me just remind you of one thing before you Anoint the monk in Vince Lombardi. Stefanski was the coach of the year twice. Morning football is all-time great mysteries.
So before you anoint this guy. Vince Lombardi. Stefansky did win Coach of the Year twice. But the Browns were just a victim of the NFL's hypocrisy. But I'm still trying to figure out what that was all about.
My man, like, Jeff, obviously you're a bright dude. You were saying things that were all fair and accurate. I just don't see how we never got from point A to point B, and it took us a long time to get off of point A.
So how are they an example of the NFL's hypocrisy? Tour stop in Seaton last year. I don't know. It's all factories. Browns are gonna brown.
So fat, dude. Here's my question for you, the monkin. How are you so mad already? You've only been there five minutes. How are you already that mad?
Mucky is monkey is monkey is monkey is monkey is mucky. But like somebody just played him the Joe Nokem cut. He wants to F-bomb that too.
Some factories. Hey, man. All right. If you can f-bomb your way to a playoff berth this year, if you can f-bomb your way to a divisional title this year, Dan, I will be talking a very different tune then. I mean, I never heard anybody.
But it's only one win. That's only over Tapam Bay, who seemed pretty freaking disinterested to me. Beating the Panthers, honestly, would be more impressive. Not saying you can't. Hey man, can you imagine a two-game winning streak for the Browns?
Damn. Mattel Parade. All right, we'll come back. One last segment, not too late. All right, so there's a Browns fan that tried to make an argument.
I'm not sure what it was, but okay. Could he get the engagement? I'll take it. The stream is up. What about break takes?
We're gonna break right now. It's gonna be really interesting. Chat. and see if you make it to the break takes. Why don't we find out together right now?
Stay tuned. You're listening to the Jim Rome Show. My dough never sees a freezer. Faye Hollis makes the biscuits at Hardee's. I'm up at 5 a.m.
every day making biscuits from scratch. Easy there, biscuit lady. Ought to create the Hardee's $2 for $5 breakfast menu. Try the new Oscar Meyer bologna biscuit, sausage and egg biscuit, smoked sausage biscuit, biscuit and gravy, or a cinnamon roll. The $2 for $5 breakfast for a limited time only at participating Hardy's.
I got up early. The least you can do is show up hungry. This Friday, return to theaters for Avengers Endgame Encore. I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping. Go off one last one.
Reassemble the team. Six zones, three teams. One shot. Relive the experience. You mess with time.
Time intends to mess back. The story continues. Tony, this is a second chance. Don't miss Marvel Studios, Avengers Endgame Encore. New Theaters Friday.
Get tickets now. Maybe PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. All right, welcome back. Just communicating with Lorne about something that I want to do.
But we can't do everything we want to do today. It's funny. I wish I had the video of this. But there is a story, NBA or Stephen Adams warned everybody. Did pro athletes Pro athletes, coaches, and scouts, right, not just athletes, coaches and scouts will be distracted by the release of GTA Six in November.
That actually is pretty hilarious to me. If you have the audio, Albie, and you want to play it, that's actually hilarious to me. I understand where that release is distracting. I mean, the release of the iPhone last week was extremely distracting to me. I may even share that story with you.
But I could see where athletes might be distracted by the release of GTA 6 in November. Yeah. Coaches? Scouts? This is what Adams had to say about that.
You guys should anticipate November. The performance of the league. League wide. Yeah. GTA is dropping.
So I'd look at NFL. Look at all the leagues. And watch them plummet, man. Just for the month of November, performance is going to go down. It should come back up, though.
Most of the boys will get it done. But hopefully, they finish the game. Coaching as well, by the way. The coaching scouts are going to be horrendous, mate. Just for November.
But it should bounce back in December, hopefully. Yeah, it should be good. I will say. That's actually funny.
So, November's gonna be down. Just look for performance. If you're looking for a reason why everybody's down in November, it's because of the release of GTA 6. It's like an 80-hour game, right?
So by December, everybody should be fine. He said coaches too. What, Steve Kerr is not going to be as focused? Nick Nurse is not gonna be as focused. My guy Rick Carlisle.
Hey man, don't bother me. Imagine me trying to get Rick Carlisle. Rick Carlisle always comes out on the show. If we go out to him in November, will the answer be no? Because he's all about GTA 6.
Will I not be able to get him? Rick Carlisle? Will that not work? Sure. He's athletes, coaches, And scouts.
Kenny Atkinson, probably for sure. Analytically, I know Kenny Atkinson is going to be all about analytically. I think we won the expected. I said three out of three. I think we're two out of three.
We have daddy here. About my guy, Chris Finch. I know there's no getting to him with the release of GTA 6. No way I get anywhere near Finchy. How about Stanford guy, Mitch Johnson?
San Antonio. He's young. Yeah. He's all about it. Oh, Darko, for sure.
It's a complete crap. That's outrageous. Hey, let me ask you something, Darko. Is the reason that you're not playing well? Because of the release of GTA Six this month.
What's your reaction to that? It's a complete crap. I don't know, dude. We're seeing it league wide. Are you sure?
Completely BSB. Do you want to rethink? I'm going to ask you one more time. Is the fact that all of your numbers and analytics across the board are down for the month of November, does that not in any way correlate to the release of GTA six, Darko? That's outrageous.
I don't know. This is shame. Is it a complete crap? Completely BS Let me ask you this, Darko. Scotty Barnes.
How many hours a day is he playing that game? It's a complete crap. I'm not the one that brought it up. How is that possible? How are you gonna explain it that to me?
Darko, Darko, easy. Can I make a video? If that's the case, just let us know so we don't show up for the game. Just give them a win. Darko, stop talking over me.
It's my show. I'm just asking the question outrageous. I never even had the thought. It was Stephen Adams that put it in my mind. I never made the connection.
Darko, is it outrageous? This is shame. Darko, are you afraid of it? Shame for the reference to shame for the league to allow this. 23 free.
Are you. Are you going to tell me you've never played GTA? Completely BS. Oh, it's completely BS. Really?
How about if I took your console away? That's outrageous. Anyway, Stephen Adams, athletes, coaches, and scouts. Will be affected. They will be distracted by the release of GTA 6.
All right, so that brings me to what happened last Friday night.
So I think by now you know my deal. If you're watching on the stream, This is an iPhone. Look at the burgundy. Pretty interesting, right?
So I did what I always do. I've this has become like my only splurge. Just Apple products, whether I need them or not.
So I do what I always do. I order the phone. What they do a week out, every single year, every year in September. they announced the new iPhone. And then a week later, they let you call up at 5 o'clock in the morning and reserve, pre-order your iPhone.
And then You get the phone a week later.
So, I mean, it's like a science. It's been always done like this. Always, always, always. And I always do it the exact same way. The only difference this year was they made the announcement, but they didn't do it on 9-11 for obvious reasons.
So Saturday morning at 5 a.m. I had to make that phone call.
So I make the phone call a Saturday morning at 5 a.m. I reserve my phones, plural. And that meant that I got in. Like if you wait. If at five o'clock in the morning when Pacific time, if you get the phone and you order it, almost inevitably you will get it the first day it's available.
If you wait a few hours, that could push the release of the phone back for you. a few weeks. That's why it's really important to get on right away. And I know I've done this for years. I have it down to a science.
So, sure enough. My phones come as scheduled. I schedule an appointment to pick them up. Friday. I leave the studio.
I go right to the Apple store. I've never seen a release day like this. It's wild. It's crazy. The place is absolutely packed.
So I walk right up to one of the people with the keyboard or the clipboards. I said, hey, I've got an appointment. And they laughed. They're like, oh, you have an appointment? Yo, the fire marshal shut us down.
So, what you need to do is come back in an hour. I'm like, here's the thing. I had an appointment. I've prepaid for the phone. I have an appointment.
And I moved to the country. I live like 45 minutes away, minimally. And I really don't want to wait around for an hour in the hopes that you may or may not get me in. Uh sorry. Not much I can do.
You can go up there and wait for an hour. I'm like, Damn, man.
So I drive home. And one of my guys who got his phone said, Well, What color are you going to use first? And I tell him the story. He's like, Oh, you're going home. I'm like, Yeah, I'm going home.
He's like, Dude, you were doing like drug deals in back alleys for phones only a couple years ago. I don't even know you anymore. I'm like, I'm going home.
So I go home and I get on the Pelly. And I called the store. And the store doesn't pick up for like 45 minutes, but I don't care because I'm on the Peli. Finally, hello, Apple. And I tell this guy my whole story.
He's like, Yeah, well, I'm not in the store. I'm like, What do you mean you're not in the store? I called the store. They're like, Well, they're not picking up at the store. This goes back to wherever he is.
And he can't answer my question.
So I'm like, do I go back to that store? It's going to be like another hour on a Friday night going back without any assurance that I can get the phone.
So I drive back all the way back into town. The only reason I'm doing this is because Janet's in Europe. I've got nothing to do anyway on a Friday night.
So, you know, loser.
So I drive all the way back in, and it's the same thing, man. The place is packed.
So I go to this dude with a clipboard. I'm like, hey, I had an appointment. And I'm not escalating at all because I know what that's going to get me. And I say to the guy, I had an appointment at 3:30. He's like, oh, really?
What time is it now? I'm like, almost 7. He's like, okay, well, you're not getting in. Your appointment's at 3:30. I'm like, you turned me away at 3:30.
He's like, we don't turn anybody away. I'm like, Brother. Brother I have multiple phones, multiple cases. I had an appointment. The fire marshal shut me down.
I live an hour away. I came all the way back. He's like, Your appointment's at three thirty. Not my problem, brah. And this and now I'm like, holy sh So, the other guy comes up to me for some reason.
He has no idea who I am, so that's not what that is. He's like, What's going on, my guy? I'm like, dude, I got this thing, this problem. He's like, come with me. Got me inside.
Got the phones. I'm like, holy crap, Apple. H how many times have you done this? It was not a good experience. Yeah, but I'm rocking the burgundy and already wondering if that was a mistake.
Anyway, there you go. There's the Apple story. Bella, are you happy with that?
Now we're done. It's been a day.
Now I'm done. It's been a day.
Hopefully, all of our TEDCO issues are. Reconcile by tomorrow. Replace your worn-out wiper blades during O-Rewards member appreciation month at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Receive two times O-Rewards points and save $10 when you purchase a pair of Rain X Latitude wiper blades. They will even install them for free at O'Reilly Auto Parts.
See you tomorrow. We're done. This Friday, return to theaters for Avengers Endgame Encore. I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. Reassemble the team.
Six zones, three teams. One shot. Relive the experience. You mess with time. Time intends to mess back.
The story continues. Tony, this is a second chance. Don't miss Marvel Studios, Avengers, Endgame Encore. The Theaters Friday. Get tickets now.
Maybe PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.
