1864. Community – Growing Together, Part 2

Welcome to The Daily Platform from Bob Jones University in Greenville South Carolina. Today's sermon is the second part of an evangelistic message preached at the beginning of the Bob Jones University school year by Dr. Alan Benson. The title of his message is Growing Together in Community. An atmosphere that's marked by the passionate, persistent recognition and development of an individual's God-given gifts, talents, and abilities. Throughout the heart of this passage, Paul talks about the dynamic of how we are to live together and thus he says from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplyeth, according to the effectual working and the measure of every part, make an increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

There is a part of community that actually has this mindset. I want to live my life in relationship with you so that through the working of God in my life, you are a better you than the one I met. It's not about what I can get out of it. It's not how I can maybe use you and your friendship or your stuff or it's actually a heart that says I long because of what God is doing in my life. I am an image bearer. I am in Christ.

I am adopted as a son and now we are in a family and because I'm in a family, I long through God working in my life in relationship with you to see you be a better you than the one I first met. This is community. It requires an acknowledgement of and commitment to spiritual change and growth by the individual. And as I come to a community, there must be in my heart the right desire for me to be changed, for me to be made more what God intends for me to be, for me to be helped so that I do now live more worthy of the vocation to which I am called. And Paul throughout part of this passage in verse 17 and following actually talks about this change.

You see, I must come to community with a heart that longs to be changed. Paul says, verse 17, This I say therefore and testify in the Lord that you henceforth from this point forward and in light of this truth you walk not as other Gentiles walk. Notice in the vanity of their mind having their understanding darkened being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them because of the blindness of their heart who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness to work all uncleanness and greediness. He gives a description of the lost man and you will find throughout all of those descriptions that there is a darkening in the mind that leaves people living for the wrong thing. He describes this mind as having good for nothing notions or the futility of their mind as having understanding that is fogged being darkened in their understanding that comes from inborn ignorance because of the ignorance that is in them and it is then enhanced by hardness because of the hardness of their heart. And so if you will, he describes this lost mind, this Gentile mind, and he sets it here in the context of relationships. What is it that the community of the world actually is doing?

How are they living? If you're deciding whether or not you're going to be a part of it, he says this is what marks this community. The lost world lives with good for nothing notions due to fogged understanding from inborn ignorance enhanced by a hardness of heart.

But then notice what he says, but you, verse 20, have not so learned Christ. You see this ought to shape the way that we think and it ought to shape the desires that we have. Thus he describes this lost mind and what motivates them and he says they're given to sensuality and they're drawn to all impurity with a continual appetite for more. Friends that ought to be exactly the opposite of how I live and what drives me to find belonging in this world if I am in Christ. My relationships ought not to be marked by the things that I think I can get out of them.

My relationships actually ought to be marked by not just what I can put into them, but how can I through relationships bring Christ into them? I want you to see then that not just is it about the right understanding of individuals. I want you to see that there's further truth here that actually deepens the sense of community.

In that God is calling us to have then a changed mind and he talks about that mind and the work that he does in transforming our mind that causes us to not just think differently but to value differently. And thus I want you to see that there is a commitment to authentic, that's a big word today, but authentic relationships. An authentic relationship and I think he gives us an understanding of what that is. Today we tend to talk about authentic because it has a sense of transparency.

That baby is real or not, sadly. And because I talk from a sense of things or about things that maybe might give you the perception that there's a level of vulnerability to me, then that now is transparency that causes me somehow to live in this authentic relationship. But that's not how the New Testament describes the authentic relationships that actually are intended to be a part of our lives in God's community. I just want you to see some principles.

Look first at verse 25. It seems so simple, but he says, Wherefore, putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Authentic relationships always have a bedrock foundation in truth. In truth. Paul talks a lot about not just truth telling, but actually truthing, living in a way that brings the truth to bear, but it all comes from a heart that is committed to truth. You see, this idea of being committed to truth is demonstrated as much by attitude and action as it is by articulation. He's calling us in genuine authentic relationships to be marked by living in a truthful way.

Friends, this ought to mark every relationship we have. You start in your college journey and it might seem to you sitting here tonight like that's never going to be an issue to me. But let me assure you, our enemy is going to try you in the arena of truth. In simple things and in complex things.

Your integrity academically is going to be tried, I promise you. Your integrity in simple things, expectations that really don't matter much in light of eternity, and yet somehow you will make eternity come to bear on them by whether or not you will simply tell the truth. We are longing for belonging. But in order for that belonging to be satisfied as God has ordained to satisfy it, we must find ourselves in community that is committed to truth.

Because when I pretend or I make believe and through that I get someone to have a relationship with me, to like me or to think something about me, I walk away knowing it's not real. And thus the one that's looking for belonging can't find it. Notice verses 26 and 27. Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil. You see these authentic relationships then are not perfect but they are marked by the work of God. That looks like a mutual commitment to reconciliation. A willingness to seek and a willingness to extend forgiveness.

A willingness to understand the work of God in my life and what Christ has carried out. The end of the passage talks about not just forgiving one another but doing it in such a way that we model what God in Christ Jesus has done for us. There's an understanding of the gospel that actually comes to bear on my relationships that makes me ready to extend forgiveness because it was readily extended to me. It's not a heart that actually looks at friendships or relationships and has the mindset that as soon as you cross me or as soon as you burn me I'm done with you. It actually is one that says how quickly can I through the gospel seek right reconciliation.

Why? Because community is about me being used of God with my giftedness in such a way that by the time we're done I leave a better you than the one I met. Reconciliation gives that gospel opportunity a second and a third and a fourth chance. Notice then thirdly, it is provided for by a mutual commitment to selflessness. Look at verse 28. Let him that stole steal no more but rather let him labor working with his hands the thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needeth. I ask you this question, when does a thief stop being a thief?

The simple answer would be when he stops stealing but that's not Paul's answer. He actually says he stops being a thief when he is so transformed that instead he becomes a giver. That he'll work with his hands that he may give to those that are in need.

In other words his heart has changed. And here he is describing for us that there is a heart that goes from being selfish to being selfless. And that's my approach to community. How can I by God's grace give of myself today to help others?

Even if it means I have to work to have the means to give, the blessing is in giving. And then I want you to see that it is prospered by a mutual commitment to rightly communicating. Verse 29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers. It's an interesting passage. The word there corrupt actually has the idea of sarcasm.

It means to tear at the flesh. So don't let speech come out of your mouth that is going to tear people down. But the opposite of that, that which will build up and I want you to see that there is yes a negative here. Your speech shouldn't be marked by tearing words, destroying words, tearing down words. But I want you to actually see in the community there's actually an emphasis here on the positive.

It shouldn't be that but it must be this. That you speak the truth in a way that builds up. Young people, Paul tells us that there's really one way that we are able to dispense grace. And it is that we may minister grace to the hearers.

Look at the end of verse 29. The way through speaking in a way that builds people up actually is a means of grace in shaping their life. You know what this means? It doesn't just mean that you find a way with flowery words to say nice things to and about people whether or not they're true. It actually is a call that I in community will be the agent of God by which he speaks truth into a life. Sometimes that is correcting speech. Sometimes that's encouraging speech. Sometimes that's challenging speech. And friends, I will tell you that if we as a community are actually going to have the right identity as a faith community, we must member to member, body to body, peer to peer, joint to joint, being fitly joined together so that being compacted, we supply that which every joint needs. If that's going to be true, there must be a commitment that not just when we gather in chapel so you can hear the word of God, there must be a commitment that you will seek to see others built up in their walk with God, because you as a friend are committed to speaking truth to them.

So ending destructive speech so that you can engage in constructive speech. I believe that in the heart of man, particularly when it comes to relationship, there is a longing. I think it's a longing because we were satisfied in the relationship that we had with our maker. And Adam and Eve fell into sin and that was shattered. And we see the impact then of the curse in relationships between husband and wife and even in the pain and sorrow of child bearing. We see it very quickly come to bear as brother turns upon brother in jealousy and envy and a brother kills a brother. If you will follow the path then of the unfolding of depravity among men, you will see the ongoing continual destruction of a sense of community as men long and strive for a sense of belonging there.

And it hasn't changed. There are some of you that because of that sense of longing for belonging will find yourselves in situations having done things that you never would have believed that you could have done. Tonight I want you to know that God actually has a plan for that. He doesn't want you to live in the world and not have a sense of belonging. He actually has a community.

I believe it's the church. And I believe that by application then you have a unique sense of community. You will never again live in a community where there is a four year spread of your peers all living together pursuing similar goals, all having similar faith to serve a similar God. This is a unique place and a unique time and God intends for you to have a unique sense of community. This is the why really behind societies. This is the why behind discipleship groups. This is the why between learning environments that are marked by discipleship. And I believe that you can grow and thrive and belong in a way that you never imagined if you'll do it God's way. And so a commitment to His authority. A commitment to rightly honoring individuals who are not all the same.

And then a commitment to authentic community. If I can't I want to close with one then simple thought that maybe, maybe can somehow wrap this all together. Look at the end of this verse. End of chapter four it says this, and be ye kind one to another.

Is that earth shattering to anybody? You know I think after a chapter like this and with all that he has said about the fallen man's mind and the renewed man in Christ and how I can live now in light of what I've learned about Christ and actually model it in my relationships that there would be some incredibly profound statement that would say there's your charge go do that. And I want you to see that that's exactly, exactly what Paul is doing here. But it's a word that is all too often lost on us. You see as believers if in every situation we would stop for a moment. And in light of the mind we are to have loneliness and meekness and long suffering and forbearing one another. If we would have that mind we would stop and maybe think about what I'm about to say or think about what I'm about to do or think about how to treat somebody. And there through the power of God we would make a different decision and say wait a minute I am instead going to be kind.

I think it would change so many of your relationships. I could say that but it's not kind. I could join in that group and mock and laugh and make fun of but it's not kind. I could join in that conversation that actually is marked by a spirit of rebellion against authorities and I could mock rules or expectations or things that people have said that I need to do. Whether that's a coach in my training regiment or a faculty member in what's expected in my class or someone that is over our residence halls whatever that may be. I could get involved in that but the reality is as a believer I have to acknowledge that rebellion is not kind.

You see this is an earth-shattering truth. And the reality is that the greater the role the greater the responsibility for and capacity to be kind. Whatever role God gives you wherever it might fit in the spectrum a leader on a team a leader in a society a leader in a class.

It might be your status as freshman sophomore junior or senior. It might be in an organization. Understand this that what God expects in order for us to develop community that is pleasing to him. When he gives me a role it increases my responsibility for and my capacity to be kind.

That position is not about me. It's actually about others. I wonder tonight do you look at life and you look at relationships. And there you would rightly acknowledge you know what my life's a little out of whack because I've been being here and being there and acting this way and doing that and I actually have been longing for belonging. And actually I've fallen into the trap of trying to find belonging by being in communities in ways that are all about me. And tonight I realize that I am in Christ and I'm adopted as his son and thus he gets to shape my community and I may actually realize that I'll find belonging. When I allow it to not be all about me.

And I promise you if you live that way. You will find a satisfaction in living for Christ that living for yourself will never bring. Our heads are bowed our eyes are closed. Spirit of God has been working and he's been layering truth on your heart. And maybe through tonight talking about community and belonging it actually has brought you back to the thought of am I in Adam or I in Christ. Could it be that I strive for belonging because I've never really settled my identity as being in Christ. Submitting my heart surrendering my way to the Lord. Looking to Calvary and realizing I can't save myself I'll never be good enough. And that's why Christ died to pay the debt of my sin.

As my sinless substitute he suffered vicariously meaning he suffered in my place for me that I might be forgiven. Tonight I feel the striving in my heart. And I've been contemplating the truth of the word of God. The Spirit of God has been speaking to my heart and tonight I realize I'm not a Christian. I've never truly trusted Jesus Christ as my Savior. And tonight he's spoken to my heart about my need for Christ. And you'd say would you pray for me. Oh would I ever. That's you would you quietly slip up your hand and say I need you to pray for me because I realized tonight I need Christ I'm not a believer please please pray for me.

Christian. You've been longing for community, but you've been looking for it in the wrong ways in the wrong places and so it's marked your life. On the one hand, maybe it's because of friendships that you have found that you now have a broken relationship with parents.

Maybe you found yourself in relationships that you as a believer shouldn't be in friendships, because evil communications corrupt good manners or maybe you find yourself in a dating relationship that is not pleasing to God and you shouldn't be in it. God is calling you to surrender that to Him in order to find right community. Maybe tonight you have found yourself with a striving that maybe you would never voice and so you're that person that always is involved in the crash joke or the tearing down comment or the cliquishness that excludes people or the mocking behaviors, because somehow you think being involved in that will actually give you a sense of belonging, but you know when you walk away from it on, you actually wonder do people really like me, and if they really knew who I was would they really like me.

And all of these manifestations come out of actually the fact that we still are fallen and broken. And we strive for belonging. Tonight God has spoken to your heart about community. About what it takes to be in the right kind of community and maybe tonight that for you as you say you know what, tonight I realize in my relationships I've got to go back and begin with recognizing the authority of God.

I'm going to do this God's way. Or maybe tonight for you it's you know what, these are image bearers made in the image of God and they are in Christ that is redeemed ones, and I actually have to have a right heart towards individuals. I have a heart that says I need to be living my life to see them become more of what God intends for them to be because the plan of God to shape them involves others. Tonight you'd say you know what, God's spoken in my heart about relationships and there is brokenness that needs to change and I want God to change me so I can live in right community.

If that's you tonight would you slip up your hand and say yeah, yeah that's me. I've got friendships that just aren't right, I've got a dating relationship that's just not right, a relationship with my parents that just isn't right. I feel all the pressures to actually get involved in wrong ways and God's spoken in my heart tonight. And I want him to change me.

That's you slip up your hand. Father tonight I thank you that this is part of the beauty of your plan. Lord you didn't create us to live in isolation. You created us as relational beings that we might rightly have a relationship with you and then rightly have relationships with others. Father God in that plan, though we have fallen and we are broken there is still the plan of God that most glorifies you when your people dwell together in peace and unity and in that setting actually pursue progressive sanctification in one another. These days are incredible days of opportunity for these college students to pursue right relationships.

Right relationships with those who hold a position of authority in their life, right relationships with peers, right relationships that are dating relationships and ultimately preparation for right relationships in marriage. And it's there God when we follow your plan that we actually can find rightly the gift of belonging that you intend. So God I pray tonight. If there's one here who doesn't yet belong to you in salvation.

Oh God I pray. Would you save them. God tonight I pray for those who have indicated by raised hand that there's been a difficulty a struggle in relationships and they want that to change Oh God I pray where there is sin, that there would be repentance and that they would run to you. Where there are those who are looking at relationships and they're still approaching it with a lost mind and broken motivations and selfishness Oh God, I pray they would submit their heart to you. Where there have been sinful choices that have marred and broken relationships more by taking than giving more by being it about me than being about Christ and God I pray that there would be right decisions about those relationships. Then God I asked tonight for all of us. Would you deepen in us a real true sense that we need to be kind for when we are. You use our kindness to do a transforming work, both in our lives and in the lives of those that we have relationships with. Thank you for the gift of community that is made possible for us through your son. We pray these things in Jesus name. Amen. You've been listening to a sermon preached at an evangelistic service at Bob Jones University by Dr. Alan Benson. Thanks for listening and join us next time as we'll hear more challenging sermons on The Daily Platform.