1147. The Case for Biblical Complementarianism pt. 2

Welcome to The Daily Platform from Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina. We're continuing a study series entitled Divine Design. Today is the second message exploring the concept of Complementarianism. This position affirms that men and women are created equally, but have distinct roles in marriage and in the Church.

Dr. Sam Horn will bring today's message. I'm going to ask you to take your Bible this morning to the book of Ephesians chapter 5. And I'm going to ask you, while I'm sort of getting us to the place where we are needing to be to start into this passage, just let your eyes sort of go down beginning in verse 21 and making their way all the way to the end of the chapter.

So while I'm talking up here, I think you could multitask a little and let your eye just go down that passage. Today, we are continuing our study on the roles and the differences that God assigned to Christian men and women, especially in two vital areas that are relational in nature, our marriages and in the Church, which is the household of God. Last week, we made the case that the plain normative reading of the scripture establishes a strong case for the position known as Biblical Complementarianism. And just by way of reminder, Biblical Complementarianism contends that the scriptures speak clearly, repeatedly, and compellingly about two important truths. Number one, men and women are created equal in value and standing before God.

And that's very important to keep in mind. Number two, God in His providence has assigned primary responsibility and spiritual authority to lead in marriage to the husband. And He has done the same in the area of teaching and the spiritual governance of the church has been entrusted to spiritually qualified men who serve as the official pastor, elders, teachers of the household of God. In other words, we could say it this way, the Bible presents Complementarianism as the authoritative teaching, the consistent practice of Jesus and the apostles, and the implied trajectory of the entire compendium of scripture from before the fallen Eden to the new creation in the new Jerusalem. This issue speaks to the authority of scripture. It speaks to the integrity of the apostles and it speaks to the intent of Jesus and His role as the head of the church. This is why I believe that rejecting Biblical Complementarianism is not just a minor difference of opinion between believers who see hermeneutic differences in these texts.

I actually believe it to be a serious error. Now I realize we're covering a lot of ground in two sermons. I've received a lot of feedback from you. Many of you told me after last week that you had prayed for me. I appreciate that. I thank you for that.

You gave great feedback. Some of you had some great questions that you asked me via email or that you submitted and I'm sure that there will be more and I want to do everything I can to try to be a good help and try to answer some of those questions. So if you reach out to me today after today's message and you want a fuller copy of what you're going to hear in chapel, I would be very happy to send you the manuscript of this message. There's also a question and answer time today at 6 o'clock in Levinson Chapel. By the way, that question and answer time is every Monday and it corresponds to the message in the Biblical manhood and womanhood series that is preached on that day. So today at 6 o'clock, if you want to come to Levinson Chapel, if you have questions, I would be very happy to interact with you and to do everything I can to give you answers to questions that you might have. And there is also some video interaction and interviews on the same topic that happens every Monday.

It's on todaybju.edu and you can go there if you want to see a few of the interviews that have happened between the speakers in this series. So we want to do everything we can to give you resources and to help answer some of the questions that come up in a series like this. So one of the questions as you've been making your way down Ephesians chapter 5 is this, why is it that Biblical complementarianism has been a struggle for believers who genuinely want to honor God and obey the scripture? Why has it been such a struggle, really for all believers in general, but specifically for our sisters in Christ? And I think there are some reasons for that and I want to just articulate them as we start this morning. I think that one of the reasons it's been hard is because it hasn't been clearly and accurately taught in the church.

And that's one of the things we're trying to do in this series. Secondly, it has not always been graciously practiced Biblically or graciously by men. It has been experienced in ways, it has been experienced by our sisters in Christ in ways that God did not intend or that the gospel did not condone and that do not afford to women the highest regard and the respect that is shown to them by Christ and to his apostles.

You can say it this way, in a world where many women have been repressed and depressed and all you have to do is look at the globe and you'll see that that's true. This position may initially appear to some as seeming to condone an unbiblical and unchristian approach to women in general and especially to those who are our sisters in Christ. And finally, I think one of the reasons that it has been difficult even for people who understand the scriptures do seem to be laying the case for biblical complementarianism is that in its application some have restricted women from roles and ministries that the scripture does not restrict them from. And I think it's very important that we restrict what the scriptures restrict and we don't restrict what the scriptures permit. And I think that that has happened when it comes to the case of biblical complementarianism.

So what I'd like to do today is I would like to make the case for a Christ honoring practice of biblical complementarianism in a number of areas. And I want to start with the home because that's actually the first time that you encounter this concept in the scripture, you encounter it in the relationship, in the covenant relationship between Adam and Eve that God established in the garden. And so as you think about that relationship, there is a mandate about that relationship that shows up in three different places in your New Testament. Paul talks about it three different times. He talks about it in the passage you're looking at in Ephesians chapter 5. He looks at it in Colossians chapter 3 verses 18 through 20 and he looks at again in 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7. So you have Ephesians 5 open. I want you as you're looking at that text to hear what Paul told the Colossians in chapter 3. And I'm going to reference some of these verses in the ESV today for the sake of clarity even though our normal practice is to use our King James Bible. Here's what the text says, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

I want you to really think about that phrase. Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. And so the mandate could be summarized like this. Men, particularly husbands, are to lovingly serve and lead their wives and their families. This means they are to bear primary responsibility for the spiritual and physical well-being of their families. And they are to do so in a way that does not demean or diminish their wives and that does not provoke sinful anger in their children. And I would suggest to all of us who are men and who are husbands that when God gave us the gracious gift of our wife, Proverbs says, he who findeth a wife findeth something that is good.

He enters into a relationship that is good. When God gave us a wife, he did not give us a maid. He did not give us a junior partner in the relationship, not a personal assistant, but someone who is a full image bearer of equal worth and standing who is absolutely necessary to the mission that God has given the two of us to go out and do as a couple. And when God established that role for us and that mission for us, he also established the roles and Paul is going to make the case in Ephesians.

And then he's going to go all the way back to Eden and he's going to argue that these roles reflect the roles that God himself has set in the Trinity and in the church. So men are to lovingly serve and lead their wives. Women, wives are to graciously support and follow the leadership of their own husband. They are to nurture and preserve an atmosphere in their homes that points children to Christ.

They are to develop and appropriately use the gifts and abilities that God has entrusted to them for his glory. And if you want to see what this actually looks like, Proverbs 31 is an amazing portrait of a biblical portrait of a wife and a godly woman. Husbands are not to damage, disparage or discourage their wives from following Christ and from serving him wholeheartedly. And wives are not to discourage their husbands from leading them spiritually. They are not to absolve their husbands from leading them spiritually or from the spiritual responsibility that God has entrusted to them. I mean, think about how many homes in the churches where you and I attend where the real spiritual energy and the real spiritual force in that home is mom. She's the one who sort of leads the children in spiritual worship.

She's the one who labors to keep church in front of them and to keep them active and that sometimes is checked out. And that is really, really different from the model that Paul is putting here before you in Ephesians chapter 5. Now I want to say something very clearly to all of us but especially to our sisters in the Lord. God does not command nor does he expect a woman to submit to sinful behavior or to remain under abusive behavior of any sort, physical or sexual, or to put herself or her children in physical or moral danger and that needs to be really clear to us this morning as we look at a text like this.

So if that's the mandate, what does the model actually look like? And in Ephesians chapter 5 beginning in verse 23 but actually beginning in verses 25 through 32 for the husband, Paul says it should look like this, men are to lead their wives like Jesus leads his church. Lovingly, sacrificially using the word of God to grow and shape what that looks like. They are to serve their families by leading them graciously to grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. And they're to do this even as young men, Titus says, that young men are to be sober minded in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works, in doctrines showing uncorruptness, gravity and sincerity, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed having no evil thing to say of you. In other words, in this particular area, as a husband, as a young man who is going to be a husband or even someone who's not as young who is to be a husband, we are to do so in a way that does not cause other people who are contrary to this view to actually have a legitimate evil thing to say about the way we lead our wives. Women are to support their own husband as the church follows and supports Christ willingly, joyfully, gracefully. They are to work with their husbands in partnership with his leadership to create a home and a family where the gospel can flourish and that will give credibility to the word in the eyes of the world. Titus chapter 2 basically says the same thing to women, that they may teach young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

This kind of a partnership and this kind of a life will require deep desire to love and obey Jesus who gave these commands. A deep commitment to the well-being of each other and a dependence on the Holy Spirit and a desire to be conformed to follow the word of Christ through his apostles. And if you want to know what it feels like, what the manifestation of this looks like, 1 Peter 3 talks about husbands needing to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto them as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life. In other words, husbands dwell with your wives in an understanding way that shows honor to your wife. And wives live with your husbands in a respectful way that's marked by pure conduct and a gentle spirit. This means that husbands need to know the gifts and the strengths of their own wife and celebrate them. They should understand the wisdom that God has given to their wife and respect it. They should understand the deep desires that God has given to your wife and strive to satisfy them. The fears and the weaknesses of their wife and protect them. And wives are encouraged to make it easy for men to lead them spiritually.

In other words, as a husband charged to lead and as a wife charged to work alongside in that leadership structure, we are to work it out together so that we maximize our strengths and minimize the weaknesses and limitations of each partner. In my own marriage, God has given me a wonderful wife who is very good at details, at keeping the finances of our home. So guess who keeps the finances? Guess who oversees the financial affairs of the Horn Home? It's my wife.

She's the one who does all of the sort of oversight of that and I get an allowance, which I spend very quickly. But seriously, there has to be a way in which every marriage works this out. And so as you think about it in marriage, Paul then moves to the second arena and that's the arena of the church. And there are three primary passages that talk to how this structure is supposed to be set up in the church. And one of those texts contains a very difficult statement. And so let me just read the statement to you and ask you to just stop before you react and let the whole idea sort of unfold. The statement is found in 1 Corinthians 14 where Paul says, God is not a God of confusion but of peace. And then he says this, as in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the church or churches, for they are not permitted to speak but should be in submission as the law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. And then here's a very, very strong statement, for it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

Now this is a very clear statement and it's unambiguous. Let the woman be silent in the church. They are not to speak. And it's grounded in the Old Testament pattern and I think Paul is referring there to the priesthood.

But that brings up a really important question. What does Paul mean when he says this, especially when in the second primary passage, 1 Corinthians 11, he actually permits women to talk in church, to pray and to prophesy as long as they do it in submission with proper decorum. So what is Paul talking about here in this difficult passage? And I think the answer, the meaning to that is in 1 Timothy 2, 11-15, and for time's sake I'm not going to read the entire passage, but I think Paul actually takes that idea that he introduces in 1 Corinthians 14, and he clarifies in this text what he means by women not speaking in the church when he says this, I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man. Now it's clear in the New Testament, and really throughout the Scriptures, that women pray and prophesy and serve with men and in the presence of men and even to men in certain contexts. So this cannot be a prohibition against women doing any kind of talking or having any kind of word ministry in the church. Because it's clear from 1 Corinthians 11 they can pray and prophesy, and 1 Corinthians 14 also seems to indicate that in certain contexts they can pray. So what does it mean? And I would suggest to you that Paul is prohibiting the talking or teaching in a way or from a position that exercise official recognized spiritual authority over men in the formal teaching office of the church, the pastor or the teacher.

And I think that is what Paul is talking about in this pastoral restriction. This is not teaching that women are more gullible than men or more naive than men, and that's why you really can't trust them with the teaching side of things. I mean think about it in your own life. Who is easier to deceive, mom or dad? It's like your mom is omni-competent and she is omniscient at times.

It's dad who generally gets deceived. So this isn't talking about there's an innate reason why women sort of can't be trusted with the teaching. It's actually recognizing that God entrusted Adam with a word that he was to teach and to hold everything under him accountable to. All of creation, all of the image bearers. And when Satan came to destroy this, to take vengeance of God for giving the authority to rule over the earth in God's stead to somebody lower than him, he went right at the authority structure. And God says to Adam through Paul, and Paul makes clear what's going on here, that when Adam sinned, he was not deceived. He actually made a willful choice to take the word of God that had been given to him and set it aside so that he could listen to the words of somebody else, to the words of his wife. And God is saying here through the Apostle Paul that the formal responsibility and oversight of his church is through his word and like it had been given to Adam in the garden, it has been given to qualified spiritual men who sit in the officially recognized office of pastor teacher.

So that brings up this question. So what are women with wonderful spiritual gifts and opportunities permitted to do in the church? And I would suggest that there is a wide opportunity.

For example, let me just give you a couple. They can teach and they can instruct other women and children and have Bible studies. They can choir. They can read scripture. They can pray. They can sing.

They can testify. They can write commentaries. I have a commentary in my library on 1 Peter that was written by a woman named Karen Jobes.

It's probably the best commentary on 1 Peter I have. They can serve as missionaries. They can do what Rosaria Butterfield did last week in our core conference. They can stand with their Bible in front of a room full of men and explain to them what the scripture has to say about a particular issue that is relevant to them. And she did it with grace and decorum in our core conference.

Actually the video where she was doing it in a room just like that. They can share the gospel corporately and personally. They can teach courses at a university with men in them. The clear restriction is the official teaching office of the church. The pastor-elder office of the church.

And that brings up the third thing this morning. What does the Bible say a woman can do in the world? Not in the home. That's clear. What about in the church?

That's clear. But what about in the world? What can our sisters in Christ do in the world?

And I'm going to go back to 1 Timothy 2, 9 and 1 Peter 3, 2 and just review what the scripture says. Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control. Not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.

And then let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God's sight is very precious. So in what ways can a woman exercise her God-given gifts outside of the church to glorify God as a woman who celebrates the roles God has assigned to her in her home? And I would suggest that a woman can do this. She can start and lead a company. There's nothing in the scriptures that would prohibit that. She can be a dean at a university with men answering to her.

There is nothing in the scriptures that prohibits that. She can be a Supreme Court justice. She can be an ambassador to the UN.

Here's one that complementarians don't all agree on. She could be the President of the United States. She could be the Queen of England. She just can't be the head of the Church of England.

That's a problem. So if you ever become the Queen of England, you can't be the head of the Church of England. But as she does these things, what the scripture says is she has to do so with the appropriate femininity that God has graciously granted to her role. She must do so in ways that cherish her husband if she's married and that give attention to her home and her children and that meet the responsibilities that God has assigned for them.

And women do this all the time. And I think as we think about this, I think it's very important for us to make that observation. And then finally let me talk to the last area and that is how does this all apply when I'm not married? How does this apply to me as a woman and even as a man when I'm not married?

In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 32 through 35 we really talk about the fact that while you are in that single season of your life consider it a great spiritual blessing because of what it allows you to do for the Lord. Here's what the scriptures teach. Married women are commanded to submit to their own husbands, not to all men in general.

That's Titus 2.5. All believers, women included, must follow and obey their spiritual leaders who are the pastors, official pastor, teachers, elders of your church. Romans 13, 7. All believers are to submit to the temporal leaders God has placed over us, governmental and judicial.

Romans 13 talks about this. And all young people are told to honor their parents. When you leave your home and you move from road obedience to honoring your parents in high regarding their counsel, holding their counsel in high regard, this is where most of you are today. This is evident, for example, in the gospels where the parents of a blind man are asked by the Pharisees to explain the miracle that Jesus had wrought in his life on the Sabbath day. And the parents have a very interesting answer. They say to those Pharisees, go ask him because he is of age. So I believe the scriptures talk about a time in your life and it may differ in any given culture where you become of age and you move from road obedience to your parents to honoring and respecting them. In our culture, that generally takes place in a process over time.

You leave home, you graduate from college or the equivalent of that, you are fully responsible for your own support, you are fully participating and entrusted with adult work and responsibility and at that point you become fully responsible to God and you become responsible to respect and honor and value your parents. My dad is 85 years old and has been an incredible, humble, gracious example of everything that I've talked to you about. I have had the wonderful privilege of growing up in a home where I had a dad who modeled this. And when I think about my dad today, I don't really call my dad up and let him know that I probably plan to stay up late tonight. Can I have his permission?

I did that when I was in sixth grade and it generally didn't go well. But I do call my dad up regularly and say to my dad, Dad, here are things I'm thinking about and I respect your counsel and I value your wisdom. What do you think about this? And to this day I do that because I respect and I honor that man and what God did in giving him to our family. It may surprise some of you, I have never called my dad by his first name in 85 years. In all of the years that I've known him, I've never addressed him by his first name.

He's always been dad. I have, to my knowledge, and before the Lord I think I can say this, I have never spoken disrespectfully of my dad because I love my dad. It has not been hard for me to follow his leadership in my life and my goal, however imperfectly I accomplish it, as a husband and as a dad, that that would be the legacy I leave to my wife and to my children. And men, if you and I lived that way, it would be a joy for women in the body of Christ to come alongside us and let us lead them for the glory of God. Father, thank you for the way that you've laid this out in scripture. I pray that you would use these words to solidify in us a commitment to model the kind of relationship that you model with your own son and that your son models with you. We want to be pictures of that here on the earth in our marriages, in our homes, and in the world at large so that the gospel would be advanced and your word would not be dishonored by those on the outside of it. And we'll pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. You've been listening to a sermon preached by Dr. Sam Horn. Join us again tomorrow as we continue this series here on The Daily Platform.