The Puzzle Of Your Finances – Part 1 of 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Many divorces are traceable to financial disagreements. Today we'll begin to learn about five key principles which can guide both marriage partners toward fiscal sanity. If you'd like some free advice on managing your family funds, stay with us.

From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, your series is the marriage puzzle, and one key part of that is how we handle money. Inflation is up, prices are through the roof, and a lot of couples can barely make it. This has to stress many marriages. You know, Dave, if you were to make a list of stresses in marriage, money would be part of the top three. There's no doubt that the issue of finances divides couples.

It sometimes presses them to work overtime. You have often the wife working, children to manage. The whole issue of money is so critical, and Jesus spoke about money very often, and of course what we have to do is to have agreement on these matters, but coming to that agreement among couples and among themselves is often very difficult. That's why I believe that these messages are so critical. As a matter of fact, you may know that this is part of a larger series entitled The Marriage Puzzle, and we're so convinced that these messages are going to be a blessing for you. Now, we've taken these messages and we've printed them in book form. This book also has some questions and also some links to the messages so that you can listen to them again and again. For a gift of any amount, we're making this available for you. Here's what you do. Go to rtwoffer.com.

That's rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Let us remember that God has a response to our needs, and one of those responses is that we might be able to handle finances correctly. Dug from the mountainside or washed in the glen. Servant am I or master of men. Earn me, I bless you. Steal me, I curse you. Grasp me and hold me. A fiend shall possess you. Lie for me, die for me, covet me, take me.

Angel or devil, I'm just what you make me. Today's topic is money. True story, we shall call them Julie and Tom. Live together before they were married. After all, they wanted to save some money and have house equity. After they get married, they decide that they're going to buy a house because both of them have jobs. They get some money from Tom's father for the down payment.

They also buy a new car because it has zero percent financing. And later on, Julie gets pregnant and there's some complications in the pregnancy and she has to quit her job, but now they're on one salary. So Tom goes and he tries to surreptitiously, without her knowing, try to get a second mortgage on the house to pay their bills. Julie finds out that he was being dishonest and now she's angry because she thinks that he is wasteful. He says that it's really her fault, and now she's angry because she's being wasteful.

He says that it's really her fault because it's the pregnancy that messed everything up and one argument leads to another and eventually they get divorced over the matter of money. It happens so often. Why is it that money is such a touchy subject? Why is it the thing that sparked so many arguments? Couple of reasons. First of all, because money is the essence of living.

That is to say that we need money in order to live, and we do. One of our sons-in-law works for a building company and he said this past week a man was laid off from his job. He has five children. What is he going to do? He has a mortgage to pay. He's got groceries. The kids have needs.

They've got all kinds of issues, I'm sure. How is he going to make it? I don't know, but I breathed a prayer that somehow he would. And many of you are in the very same predicament. Many of you have been searching for work for a year or two and the work hasn't materialized. You've been seeking employment and God hasn't seen fit to give you a job and you're wondering whether you're going to go home today and find the lights turned out. We have many people in our church who are in that kind of a predicament. Now the Bible has much to say about the poor. For example, James says that there are those who are poor but are rich in faith, and that's wonderful. Sometimes the poor are rich in faith, most assuredly. But I do have to say, and many of you will testify, that poverty can very easily be overrated.

Wasn't it Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, which I think my wife and I saw 35 years ago, I think one of the best movies ever produced. Do you remember how Tevye is told that money is a curse? He says, well, he says, to be poor is no disgrace, but on the other hand, it's no great honor either, he says. And then when the young man comes and says, you know, money is a curse, I think he walks out of the barn and says, oh God, if money is a curse, smite me with it, and may I never recover.

You remember that? Yeah, I'll tell you something. Money is the essence of life. In this sense, we need money to live.

If you don't want to live on the street, you need money to live. That's why it touches us so very deeply. But there's another reason, and that is because money makes so many promises. It has so much seductive power. It makes all the same promises as God.

You've heard me say that before, but it's true. God says, I will be with you and I will never leave you nor forsake you. Money says, I'll be with you and I'll never forsake you. I'll be there whether there's healthcare or not. I have enough I can pay for you. I'll be there in old age so that you can live in a nice place in your final days. I'll be there to clothe you. I'll be there to give you all the entertainment you want. Tell me the entertainment and I'll be there to do it for you. And so money comes along and says, you want to sin?

I can fund it. Before I told you about a man, and I have to tell the story again because I shall never forget it, who had a stroke and the stroke debilitated him. And years afterwards, first very angry, but years afterwards I asked him, I said, have you ever thanked God for your stroke? And he says, I thank him every day for it. I was surprised at that. And he said, you have to understand I had the time and I had the money to go deeply into sin and the stroke prevented me.

He said, I thank God every day for that. Money is seductive. Wave big money in people's faces and they will just become demons. Remember an attorney telling me a story about how a man will the several millions of dollars to a Christian institution and then the stepchildren, not as children, but the stepchildren objected and they tried to change the will after he died.

And they got an unscrupulous attorney who even was disbarred later because of all of the things that he had done. And here you have this family now torn apart with lies and deceit and one trick after another, because in their mind they are saying, get it honestly if you can, but if it necessary, get it dishonestly, but at all times, get it. Money makes demons even out of Christians.

It is very seductive. Now that background, the intention of this message is to give you some principles about money by which we should live. And if you had heard this message years ago, it might've spared you some grief. And if I had preached it years ago, it might've spared me some grief as well.

But here we are. And at the end of the message, I'm going to be outlining how couples can stop all arguments about money. You never have to have another argument about money again. Isn't that great? Just to think that you've come here to the Moody church and today we're going to put it all to rest. Don't you wish? I'm not quite that naive.

I do know this. I believe that these principles will do that, but you have to hear from God or you won't like the principles. Therefore, even though we've prayed several times already, I'm going to ask all of us to pray now. And men, I want you to pray wives. I want you to pray singles. I want you to pray wherever you are. If you're watching this by way of internet all over the world, let us ask God to speak to us, because if you only hear my words, you won't change.

What you need to hear today is the word of God and God has to change your heart. Would you join me as we pray Father, as we come to this sensitive topic of money, make this a transforming experience. We ask Lord Jesus that the light of your word would shine upon us and that in shining upon us, we might be changed. We pray father that arguments that have taken place in homes for years might end. And we ask Lord that couples will be on the same page in their lives and the Holy Spirit of God would work mightily. And for those who do not know Christ as savior, we pray that they may understand the gospel. In Jesus' name we ask. Amen.

Amen. I want you to take your Bibles today and turn to 1 Timothy chapter 6. 1 Timothy chapter 6, where we're going to look at these principles.

1 Timothy chapter 6. The reason that you should be reading your Bible is always remembered. The Bible is a talking book. When we read the Bible, we hear the voice of God.

Maybe you're like me, you've never heard a voice outside of yourself speaking, although I do believe that one time I did, but that's abnormal. The point is that when we want to hear what God has to say, we open his word. And in your pew Bibles, it's on page 993, I believe. And very quickly, I'm going to read and very quickly, I'm going to give you five or six principles. And then we're going to get on the issue of some practical wisdom, how you can resolve financial conflicts.

That's the agenda. First of all, you'll notice the principle of honesty. Now to pick this up, I'm going to read 1 Timothy chapter 6. It's talking about false teachers. It says in verse 4, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing.

He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and depraved of the truth. Now notice this, imagining that godliness is a means to gain just that far. This is written now to the people that will be in Ephesus.

That was probably where Timothy was when he received this letter. And in Ephesus, godliness was becoming popular. So some people said, if godliness is where it's at, then that's where we want to be because we want to make a buck on godliness.

And they did it through their false teaching, through charging exorbitant fees for what they were doing, and through deceiving God's people with all these arguments, with all these quarrels, because they wanted to make a fast buck. Principle number one when it comes to money is honesty. Honesty.

These people didn't have it. May you and I have it today as Christians. And I would say that this honesty extends to other issues. When you earn money, earn it honestly.

A number of years ago, I was in Hong Kong and I bought a camera lens in Hong Kong. I was sent there because I was told this man was a Christian. And so he and I talked and he said, you know, if I were totally honest, I wouldn't be able to compete with all the businesses along this street. He said, you know, I also have to have some dishonesty to compete. Well, I sat there and over a period of five or six minutes, I tried to help him to see, look, why don't you just do something very unreasonable here, but very biblical? Why don't you just trust God?

Oh, of course you have to lower your prices because of competition, but you don't have to tell a client that he's getting this kind of quality when in point of fact, he's getting another kind of quality. That kind of deceit dishonors God. Why don't you just trust God and be honest?

I don't know whether he took my advice. Honesty in terms of how you get it, honesty in your relationship with your spouse. I read that this past week that about 50% of all marriages, that's about half of you, then those marriages, one spouse has a secret that the other doesn't know about when it comes to finances.

Good example is a man that I knew who took $30,000 from their joint retirement account and spent it trying to get rich quick on the internet. And of course, I don't have to tell you, do I, that he lost it all. Now there are two things that he did wrong. Number one, he didn't ask his wife. She'd have had the good sense to tell him this is crazy. Any good wife would have seen that and wives have the ability to see through that. And that's what she'd have told him.

And he would have been spared the agony. And secondly, he did it without her knowing it. So I'm speaking today to couples where usually the man says, well, you know, I want to spare the wife of all the reality. And she senses back their dishonesty, deceit, some little lies, and she doesn't know where it's at. Folks, it's time if you're married to take everything that is under the table and put it on the table. And don't you dare make any major expenditure unless both of you are agreed that it's a wise one. That's the principle of honesty.

We must hurry on. And that is the principle of contentment. Notice what it says in verse six. Now there is a great gain in godliness with contentment. For we brought nothing into this world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing with these, we will be content. Will we? I don't think so. Always remember that the advertising industry, what is the great enemy of the advertisers?

The one enemy that they want to destroy, the one enemy that they are fighting against, the one enemy that they just absolutely hate. Contentment. If you're content with this old car, you aren't going to buy a new one.

If you're content with the clothes that you are wearing, you aren't going to need to get new ones. And by the way, throw this in at no extra charge. I think that probably Eve is one of the only women in the world who said to her husband without lying, I have nothing to wear. I think so.

I think so. But you see, if you have food and clothes, and you're content, today we're not content, we're discontent. Paul is saying if you have the basics, blessed is the person who is content with those basics, but we aren't content. And then you have the credit card coming along. And the credit card says you don't have to be content. You know, it used to be when I was growing up, we weren't dirt poor, but we were poor.

I could tell you stories. And when we wanted something, we used to have to pray that God would somehow get it to us or somehow that we get the money to get it. Today, the credit card says, God, we won't have a thing to do with you. We won't depend upon you. If we needed a different car, we'll simply go and we will borrow the money and we'll use the credit card and we don't need you anymore.

Those old days about praying about needs, they're gone. $9,300 is what the average couple has on their credit card if they're not the kind of people who pay at the end of the month. And there are a few people who pay at the end of the month. And for them, the credit card is great, but they are a minority. And you know what else the credit card companies know? You will spend at least one third more with a credit card. Can you imagine taking your family to a restaurant and laying down, say, 70 or $80 to have a meal together, you and the kids, and are you telling me you'd do that if you didn't have a credit card, that you'd actually take out your wallet like this and you'd say 10, 20, 30, 40?

No way you'd do that, but you give them a piece of plastic. Of course, I don't think it's wrong to borrow for appreciating items. I know that houses have gone down in value, but generally speaking, when you buy something like that, it's going to appreciate. But you buy a new car and you buy it and you're making payments on it.

You drive the thing across the street and it's lost $500. And so what we must do is to recognize the absolute curse of debt. Remember, debt, devil, and dirt, they're all related. And some of you are in debt because you're buying groceries now with credit cards. And I understand that and that's a need.

And I'm going to be talking about getting on the same page a little later on. But the thing is contentment. Now notice what it says with those who aren't content. I'm reading the text here, verse nine, but those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

Wow, what's that all about? Those who desire to be rich. Listen, if you are covetous, if you are greedy, greed never is content to be alone. Greed will always bring other sins with it. Always new explorations, always new way to assert your power and your value. And that is now the curse, how money can be a curse because now suddenly it becomes not the root of all evils, but a root of many, many different kinds of evils.

And I don't have time to illustrate that, but I could. But certainly earning more money to better your condition is not the same as craving to be rich. To go from one home to another because your family is growing and they need more space, that is different than the craving to be rich. To desire money so that you might be able to support the Lord's work, that isn't the same as craving to be rich. But the love of money is a root of many different kinds of evils. And what you need to do is to slay that beast of covetousness that is coiled in the human heart like a snake wanting to choke you. And so notice what the Bible has to say about it.

And why is it such a deceitful thing? Well, as I mentioned, we need money, but here's the thing. When you love money, what you'll discover is money will speak louder to you than God. And furthermore, you will be content not with godliness. That's not what will delight you as Paul explains later.

It's not what will turn you on. What will really delight you is a big paycheck. That's where your mind will be. That's where your heart will be. That's where your schemes will be. And so the second principle of contentment.

Third, faith. Now notice as we turn the page in our Bibles in verse 17, it says these words, as for the rich in this present age. Now Paul is no longer talking about those who simply desire to be rich. He's talking about those who are rich. By the way, what comes to mind when you read that phrase, as for the rich in this present age? I immediately think of people who have more money than I do.

Is that what you do too? You think, well, you know, I may have hundreds or I may have a few thousand, but we think of those who are millionaires. Oh, that's who Paul is talking to. Oh my friend, if you are employed, if you have food on the table, clothes, you live in a decent place, you're rich. I'm rich in comparison to the kinds of situations that Paul was writing to.

So don't wiggle out. Now if you're here today and you don't have a job and you are trying to wonder whether or not you can pay your bills, then maybe this doesn't, this phrase doesn't apply to you, but the principle still does. But let's include all of ourselves in this. Let those who are rich in this present age charge them not to be haughty. Why would a rich man be haughty?

Because a rich man says, I don't need you. I don't need to go to church. I don't need your fellowship because after all, I'm totally independent.

I'm a self-made man, right? So teach them not to be haughty or to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches. My friend, I have to emphasize the fact that when it comes to money, Jesus has much to say about it. Paul has much to say about it. And I have to share my heart with you and tell you that I've discovered that those who are very rich, oftentimes if I might put it more clearly than I should, can be very stingy. Let us remember this, that if we have a windfall, it's because God wants us to use that money for the cause of the kingdom.

But many of you are in a very difficult position because you don't have enough money to pay your bills. I believe that this message and others in this series will be of tremendous help for you as you navigate the issues of your marriage. Very quickly, here's what you do. Go to rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 because we've taken these messages and we've put them in book form. We'd love for you to have a copy.

Go to rtwoffer.com or pick up the phone and call us at 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 60614. Running to Win comes to you from the Moody Church in Chicago to help you understand God's roadmap for your race of life. Next time, why money lies at the root of so much marital conflict. Don't miss our next program. Thanks for listening. For Pastor Erwin Lutzer, this is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.