The Blinding Power Of An Offense – Part 1 of 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Some conflict in life is inevitable, but when others cause our conflicts, it's hard to escape that pain. Something inside each of us cries out for justice. Today, we're beginning a series to help us deal with the wrongs that others inflict.

Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, even the most even-tempered among us can fly into a rage when we're offended unjustly.

Why is this? Dave, even if we don't fly into a rage, the rage can be within us. No one might know about the rage, but it is there.

There's something within us that does not want to be offended, and when we offend others, oftentimes we're unaware of it. It's the dilemma of being a human being with a sinful nature. But I need to emphasize, and this is critical, that the message that you are about to listen to will help you to understand how offenses literally blind people to that which is around them and to the righteousness that might be available to them. So as we begin this series entitled When You've Been Wrong, pick up the phone, call your friends, have them listen. I believe that these messages will speak directly to so many hearts.

Let's listen carefully. Jesus said, it is inevitable that offenses shall come. When he uses that word offense, it's actually the Greek word scandalon from which we get scandal or scandalized.

That word can be interpreted as a trap because originally a scandalon was the bait that was used in a trap. It can be translated a snare or an offense, anything that hinders our walk with God. Jesus said it is inevitable that these types of snares and traps come. Today I'm beginning a series of messages entitled Suffering Wrong. I'm taking that directly from 1 Corinthians 6 where the apostle Paul says regarding Christians taking one another to court, he says, why are you doing that? Would you not rather suffer wrong? Wouldn't it be better to just simply take the loss because this is a bad witness. In one of these messages I'm going to be commenting on that passage and preaching from it. Suffering wrong.

Have you ever had to suffer wrong? And so what we're going to do is to look at how Satan uses offenses and binds people so that there is a wall between them and God and they can't move ahead spiritually. They are stuck where they are. What is our goal during the next eight weeks? Well, first of all, to uncover hidden bitterness and resentments that lie deep in the soul. You see, we can't find them unless we're honest. And what we'd like to do is to invite the blessed Holy Spirit of God to seek us in such a way to see whether or not those kinds of sins and resentments lurk in our soul. Secondly, we'd like to bring about reconciliation with wounded parties.

That's very important. I know that sometimes reconciliation isn't possible, but we should always attempt it. And in this series, I'm going to encourage you to try to be reconciled with those who have hurt you or other people whom you have hurt. We're going to learn, surprisingly, that for every person who has been hurt, there is a herter who does the hurting. And sometimes we forget that. Perhaps the hurters are sitting here today too.

In fact, I know they are. And then the bottom line is we'd like to clear our consciences so that we have a conscience that is free of offense before God and before man. It's the stuff of revival. It's the stuff of human relationships that clogs the wheels of our relationship with God. And what we'd like to do in this brand new beginning is to get rid of all the clutter and get rid of all the debris that is in our lives. Are you in favor of that?

Would you support that if that were our goal? Now, the Bible talks about us walking with God and these hurts get in our way. And usually they are offenses from people who are closest to us. It would be a little bit easier to deal with our enemies.

We expect that from them, but listen to the words of David. I'm going to read it and then I'll give you the text. He says, for it is not an enemy who taunts me than I could bear it. It is not an adversary who deals insolently with me than I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together within God's house as we walked in with the throng or the congregation.

It's you, a friend. You see, this is why divorces are so nasty and bitter. It's because someone I loved, someone who was in my house, someone with whom I shared a bedroom, they're the ones that have hurt me. And those hurts go the deepest. David said those words in Psalm 55 that I just read.

Well, let me give you an example of some of these offenses that Satan uses to keep people bound. First of all, unfulfilled promises. We've all had that experience. You, you lend somebody some money and they say, well, you know, I'll get it back to you as soon as I have it. And later on, you know, right? Well, they have it because they buy a new car and they just pretend as if everything is fine.

And you're thinking, look at all the money that I owe. I heard of a dentist who did a lot of work for Christians and he stopped going to church because he said there were too many choir members singing through teeth that he had fixed, that had not paid him. Breaking of confidence.

I've had this happen. Told a man something about a certain organization as to what was going on. He agreed that he would not tell anyone. He not only told the board of that organization, but he identified me.

Do you think, by the way, I wouldn't remember that if I met him today, it would come to mind. Rejection, abuse. We could put in racism, all kinds of different means of rejection. One cutting remark, one cutting remark made in the summer can last all winter and beyond. Several winters, as a matter of fact, false accusations. Here's a girl who accuses a boy of something. The boy absolutely denies it.

The two families are friends, but now there's a wedge between them. Parents tend to defend their particular child. And so the parents say, my girl, our daughter would never lie. And the other parents say, my son, our son would never do this. And there you are, false accusations, or maybe true accusations that are denied.

My, how deeply those offenses go. If you have your Bibles, you may turn to Proverbs chapter 18, verse 19. Proverbs 18, verse 19.

It reads this way. A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city. And quarreling is like the bars of a castle. A brother offended is more unyielding. You can more easily conquer a castle, a city that's defended with high walls. You can more easily conquer it than a brother who's been offended. But even though it appears impossible, it is possible.

And that's what we're praying for during this series of messages. Now, if you have a city like that, what is the purpose of the walls? The walls are to keep people out. When we were in Germany, we visited Rothenburg, which is the correct pronunciation of that particular town, a medieval city that still has the walls. In fact, I walked on about three quarters of a mile of the walls of Rothenburg. We took a midnight tour with a watchman who played the part of a medieval watchman and how interesting that was. But we learned that at a certain time, the walls of the city were shut or the gates of the city were shut and no one could come in. But there was a manhole that we saw just big enough for one person at a time to crawl through.

And if you were late, you had to give an explanation and they had to make sure that you were clean, that you were not an enemy. You see, the walls are there to keep people out. A brother offended is going to build walls.

He's going to lay deep foundations to make sure that the wrong people don't ever come into his life again, sometimes living in isolation because he does not want anyone to come into his life. And then what does the text mean when it says, quarreling is like the bars of a castle? Well, do you find it easy to take away the bars of a castle? Can you remove them? No, that's the way it is with people who quarrel.

We're talking today about strongholds. We're talking today about walls and bricks and we're speaking about human relationships. But what I'd like to do now is to give you some characteristics of the person who has an offense and who will not give it up for love nor money. He will not lay it down.

What are some of those characteristics? First of all, we become blind to our own faults. I titled this message the blinding power of an offense. It blinds us to our own faults. You see, in the walls of this castle that I've spoken about, since you control who comes and goes, an offended person will make sure that the only information and the only people that are allowed through the gate is someone who agrees with him and someone who takes his side and all other information is filtered out and there's no possible way that anyone else can touch him because the walls are so high and the gates are so thick and so he can't see his own faults.

When we have an offense, we are blinded, blinded to our own faults. I think this is what Jesus meant when in Matthew chapter seven, you remember, he said, he said, you know, you have a, you think that there's a speck of sawdust in your eye and you don't realize that there's a beam in it. And so you have this guy and he has the beam.

He's the person you see who's agenda driven. He's got this beam, this two by four in his eye. He thinks it's a piece of sawdust, but it's actually a two by four.

And as he looks at others, he is absolutely confident that they all have two by fours. He thinks he has only a piece of sawdust and they are the ones with the two by fours. What he does not understand is that as he looks at them, what he sees in their eye is a reflection of what is in his own eye, but he can't see that he's blinded by it. He's blinded by Satan. And so his hurt runs so deep that he says to himself, no matter what I do to other people, it can't possibly be as great as the harm that has been done to me and therefore I have a right to hurt other people because after all I have been hurt. And he justifies it and he's blind to what it is that he is doing.

Secondly, he's blinded by the desire for vengeance. Take your Bibles here and turn to Romans, Romans chapter 12, Romans chapter 12. This is a marvelous passage of scripture. If you ever say to yourself, I don't know how to pray for Moody church rather than just repeating the same old prayers. Take Romans chapter 12 and begin at verse nine and pray this prayer every day for a week for a Moody church that's praying biblically. Paul says in verse nine, let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to the good. Love one another with brotherly affection.

Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, but be fervent in spirit serving the Lord. I'm picking it up now at verse 14 bless those who persecute you bless and do not curse them. That in itself is a whole message. Rejoice with those who rejoice.

Weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not become haughty, but associate with a lowly. Never be conceited. Why is he saying that is because offended people are often very conceited.

Their pride gets in the way, you know, and they become blind to it. And then it says, repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, as far as it depends on you live peaceably with all beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.

And then he quotes the scripture. You see the person who holds an offense that sticks like Velcro to his soul will always seek justice. Yes, but vengeance actually. Vengeance may be identified with justice, but normally when we talk about vengeance it is, it is that which is overdone, that which is an overreaction, the desire to see someone destroyed, the desire to absolutely do all that you possibly can to make people pay the utmost farthing. A person like this believes that if he were to forgive, he would trivialize the offense.

So there's no way that he's going to lay down his bitterness. That would mean it's small in his eyes and therefore he hangs onto it and then he spends a lot of time convincing God to hate the same people whom he hates. And so he gives the all these reasons to God as to why God should be as angry at them as he is. Like the sons of thunder in the days of the New Testament, the people of Samaria.

God, do you want us to call fire down from heaven and consume them? And Jesus said, you don't understand what spirit you are of. I love to tell the story of a man who I think is a friend of mine though we live distantly from one another and he said that he left this Christian organization that he felt had wronged him. You know they had promised him a certain number of things and they didn't come through with the promise and he had some personality conflicts but he thought that he was right and they were wrong and so when he was released he was so angry he stomped the dust from his feet and prayed that God would curse the place and shut it down. Well, years later he had to confess that all that God did since he left is to bless the place.

It grew. The ministry was used mightily of God and still is used by God today. Something like Balaam, you remember, he tried to curse Israel and all that would come out is blessing. Have you ever noticed that God sometimes blesses people that you and I think he shouldn't? Has that ever crossed your mind?

It certainly crossed mine. I know a lot of people that I wouldn't bless if I were God. And so what happens is now this person in his vengeance will believe only he'll believe only that which is evil about a person. All good information is filtered out because he's standing there you see at the door of his castle making sure that the only information that is fed into him confirms his own feelings.

Everything else is censored and it's not allowed to apply and so what happens is he accepts only that which confirms his predisposition. Hate is a terrible thing. You know as I listen to this I'm reminded of our own political struggles. There are so many people who will hear only what they want to hear when it comes to politics. Sometimes our minds are welded shut when we hear something good about some person whom we disagree with. So we as believers need to have open minds and we have to be willing to confront our own sin, the sin that exists within us, the sin of an offense, anger, retaliation. That's why I've written a book entitled When You've Been Wronged.

Now I have to say that every author believes that a book that he or she has written is important but I need to emphasize that this book has been used of God to help people become free from offenses that have hindered them in their Christian life and in their experience. For a gift of any amount this book can be yours. Here's what you do. Go to RTWOffer.com. That's RTWOffer.com.

Of course RTW offers all one word. RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 and when you connect with us may I thank you in advance for your support of our ministry. Your prayers are so special for us and we appreciate them and your gifts because of you this ministry can continue to expand. Remember the title of the book When You've Been Wronged.

The subtitle is Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness. It's time again for another chance for you to ask Pastor Lutzer a question about the Bible or the Christian life. Today's topic has to do with the offering plate and how to calculate how much to put in every week. Chris listens to Running to Win and he wants some advice.

Here's his story. I travel out of state for work and incur expenses that are paid out of pocket and not reimbursed by my employer. Pastor Lutzer, I'm wondering how much to tithe based on this decrease in income, on the gross including these payments or should it be on the net amount after the payment of these expenses? Well, Chris, you know your question is very much like one that I am frequently asked by people. They say should I tithe on my gross income or should I tithe on my net income when it comes to income tax? And if you pay 25% income tax or maybe even 30% that makes a huge difference in terms of the amount that you were to give to the church or to missionaries.

And so it is indeed a dilemma. Well, I can simply ask you this question, what would you like God to bless? Do you want God to bless you on your gross income or do you want God to bless you on your net income? Because the Apostle Paul does say that whatever we sow we reap and the person who sows sparingly reaps sparingly. Now of course it's not that I'm teaching health and wealth as if to say that you can give your way to prosperity but I am saying that blessing comes to those who are generous and that leads to the second part of my answer and that is I hope that you are not tithing legalistically.

I'm a little bit troubled by what you wrote. The question of whether or not you give on the total or some of your expenses which probably are very few, the out of pocket expenses, may indicate that you have taken this up as kind of a requirement of legalism. The New Testament nowhere tells us that we are to give 10%.

Now of course I think we should based on the Old Testament and the generous people that we should be but it isn't a requirement and the Old Testament tithing was like a tax. Everybody had to do it but that's not the way it is now and so I just hope and pray that you are a joyful giver, that you enjoy what you are doing and the whole issue of whether or not it should be 10% overall or on part of your income because some of the out of pocket expenses decrease your income, I hope that that's not a big issue to you. Just give generously.

Give joyfully and I venture to say you'll probably give more than 10%. Thank you Dr. Lutzer for that wise counsel for Chris and for all of us wondering just how much we should be giving. If you'd like to hear your questions answered you can go to our website at rtwoffer.com and there you can click on Ask Pastor Lutzer or call us with the question at 1-888-218-9337.

That's 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. When we react to an offense, some collateral damage is very likely next time our message continues. Join us for an eye-opening look into the unintended consequences of harboring an offense rather than seeking reconciliation. For Pastor Erwin Lutzer, this is Dave McAllister and Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.