Breaking Soul Ties Part 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Immoral relationships create very deep bonds, even between people having casual sex.

And the more bonds we make, the tougher they are to break. Today, finding the way out of the damage we do by not obeying God's moral rules. Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, we're talking about restoring the soul, healing in an age of brokenness. What are the soul ties you'll be speaking about in today's message?

Well, Dave, as you have already implied, the soul ties that I'm going to be speaking about have to do with sexual relationships outside of the bonds of marriage, covenant relationship between one man and one woman. You know, frequently we as pastors emphasize one series of messages above another. I have to tell you, I believe that this series is especially important, important for young people, important for older people. And perhaps you will miss some of the messages or you know those who you think can benefit from these messages. We're offering them to you in a permanent form for a gift of any amount they can be yours. And of course, the title of the series is Restoring the Soul. Here is what you do.

Go to rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. We're talking about soul ties, sexuality from a biblical point of view. And consequently, it is this that determines it. If you want stories, if you want documentation, I don't have time today except to tell you that you can be led in a wrong direction by an early bonding, alien defiling bond that connects you. And then of course, as I mentioned, the desire to return to your first lover or a previous lover because, because, well, that's obvious because my goodness, do I have time to say this? See, there's something within us that tells us that when we get married, we should be, we should be pure.

You know that a national magazine, not a Christian magazine, but a national magazine said that there are young women who are living with their boyfriends who before their marriage live celibate for a number of weeks or a number of months because God implanted it within the human being to say that somehow marriage is supposed to be special and I should be saving myself for the altar. Wow. Let's hurry on. Second, you have the power of the first bond. Secondly, there's the door to promiscuity, the door to promiscuity. Why would one alien bond begin that spiral?

Rather obvious, isn't it? You see, if you are bonded in a polluted bond, you feel defiled anyway. So what you're going to want to do now is to recreate that whole situation to, to recreate the euphoria that God intended that a pure bond should have within marriage and what you want to do is you want to find it somehow. So you begin to go from partner to partner and each time you say this time it will be different, but of course it never is.

There's a good book written entitled Everyman's Struggle. It's a book on pornography, but the author said something very interesting. He said that when he was in college, the first time he slept with a girl, it was with a girl he knew he would marry. The second time it was with somebody he thought he might marry and the third time it was with somebody whom he was quite sure that he would not marry and on and on the spiral goes.

I could tell you stories of a 16 year old girl, but I don't have time for all the stories. Why? Because what they're doing is they're wanting to create this bond. They're wanting to connect. The deepest part of their soul has been awakened and what they want to do now is to find someone to have that really awesome connection, someone to have a permanent connection with, but of course seeking it in all the wrong places. They are looking for something which at this point they cannot have. I'm not saying there isn't redemption.

I'm simply saying that you don't find it where you think it might be. Let me give you another consequence and that is guilt and anger. By the way, it also can result in sexual addiction, which is one of the messages in this series.

There's also guilt, anger and shame. Now all over I meet couples who say oh no, that's not true of us. We are just so happy and we're relating well.

Yeah, give your relationship a little bit of time. What I've discovered is that in the initial aspects of an alien bond it may be fulfilling because at last somebody in the desert has found his oasis and there seems to be a connection and I've had people tell me that during those days when this whole thing started, whether it's adultery or whatever it is, it was so wonderful. It was so euphoric. I felt such a strong connection and catch this now. I put God on hold. I in effect said, Lord, I'm going to deal with this, but I'm going to deal with this later. I can't deal with it now because I've got too much going and this is too, quote, beautiful, but it will come.

The regret will be there, the anger, the lashing out, the blaming. Inevitably it will be there. Number four, there's the elusive. I call this the elusive exclusive bond.

Elusive exclusive. What do I mean by that? There's some people today who because of their past find it very difficult to get married because they are not sure that they'd be able to maintain a commitment to one partner. Understandably so, they've been bonded to this person, bonded to that person. God joined them over here, one flesh, the scripture says, one flesh with this person, one here. And so I've had people describe their souls to me as being scattered because it was never God's intention that it be that way.

And so as a result, they go along in life. I remember one woman telling me with tears that she slept with other boyfriends until the night before her wedding to her guy because she was thinking, this is contemporary thought now, you don't have to really be committed to one person until you're married. What do you think?

Do you think that she was true to her bond after she was married? What makes us think that an immoral man will become moral just because he said some words and his appetite and his values have not been changed by God? How can we possibly be so naive? Do you understand now why young people say to each other, well, you know what we'll do? We'll just do it once and God will forgive us. I've had them say, you know, what's the blood of Christ for if he can't forgive this?

What's it all about? God does forgive us. As a matter of fact, the next message in this series is on God's forgiveness. But the simple fact is once you have been involved, nothing will ever quite be the same again. What do we do about it?

I'm only going to sketch it today very quickly because we'll be dealing with these issues in other messages. First of all, there is cleansing. There's cleansing. The Bible says that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us, but to cleanse us also. The reason that cleansing is so important, some people who are forgiven have never been cleansed. Cleansing is the subjective work of God by which our consciences are purged. In the next message, we'll emphasize how God restores dignity to people because as long as you're filled with self condemnation, you'll never be able to put your past behind you. But it's the cleansing of the conscience. It's not only being pure, but sensing that the defilement of the relationships are gone. So there is cleansing.

And that's available to you today, my friend. There is also what I'm going to call fleeing. Fleeing.

The Bible says flee youthful lusts. Could I speak candidly to you today? I think I've been pretty candid, have I not been? I like to speak plainly.

I don't like it when people leave saying, what does he really believe? Do you realize folks that there are some people that we should stay away from? There are some people who have such awesome power, soul power, connectedness, that we could come under their spell and we too could be among those who leave it all behind to find the love of our life and to find this and rejoice in this soul mate. And then all that we need to do is to add some verses of scripture. We could say, and it is God who brought this soul mate to me.

We're all capable of that. There are some people who should not know your telephone number or some people whose telephone numbers you should not have because all of us are vulnerable to soul ties, which have awesome power, particularly those of you have been in past relationships. Someone said to me one time, she said, you know, I, when I think of going to a city in which there is the man with whom I had the first relationship, which was so beautiful, she didn't marry him. In fact, she wasn't even, he wasn't even a Christian, but she said it was a, we had a wonderful thing going and she said, when I go to that city, she said, I would not even dare go alone because I'm afraid I might call him up and we might begin to have a relationship all over again. That's not a, that's not an example of weakness, folks. That's, that's wisdom. That's, that's applying the scripture that says, flee immorality. So there's such a thing as fleeing. It has often been said that when you flee temptation, don't leave a forwarding address. Many people say I'm going, but I want you to know where I'm going to end that.

Contact me if you can. Break it off. One day there was a pastor here in the city many, many years ago, fell into immorality, lost his church, but wanted to restore his marriage. I had come to know him. He was a wonderful preacher and he called me on the telephone and I said, the way you break off this relationship with this woman is you do it over the telephone with your wife present and make sure it ends. And he said, well, he said to her, when actually I'm not going to do it that way.

I feel I should see her one more time. Can you guess the rest of the story? Of course he left his wife, married her for greener pastures, which in the end turned out to be a desert. So we have cleansing, we have fleeing, we have communicating. What do I mean by communicating? I mean wholesome relationships. Why do you think the early church was so powerful that it changed its world upside down?

I'll tell you why. It says that it was united, the believers were united in vision, in passion, and in relationship. I'm misinterpreting it a little bit, but at my age I can be forgiven if I'm sliding a little bit over this. But that's what it really says.

It says they were, oh yeah, I think I'm getting it right. United in one heart, one soul, one mind. Something like that.

Wow. That's what could make Moody Church such a powerful force in this city, to be united for the cause of the gospel, for the love of people. With one heart, one soul, one mind. Those are positive bondings that overcome and protect us from all the negative and destructive bonds that we're talking about.

How do you like this for a bond? Thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Wow, what a bond that's to be. We're to be bonded to God first of all. And it is those healthy relationships that fill the vacuum, that give us the grace to stay away from the other bonds and to remember that we should guard our hearts with old diligence.

Why? Because those hearts can be open to wrong kinds of hearts and wrong kinds of relationships. You say, well, Pastor Litzer, what do you have to say to those of us who have a history of bonding wrong relationships? In the Old Testament there was a prophet by the name of Hosea, and he had a wife who went from one lover to another. There's evidence that she was not just with one lover, but that she fell into the hands of a man eventually who could not even take care of her. And Hosea, out of love, actually gave the man money so that that man could give money to his wife.

Talk about love on the part of Hosea. But God says this regarding her. He says, I will take her into the desert and I will allure her. Why the desert?

Listen, there's some people who don't wake up until they're in a desert. As long as they have one little drop of water to drink, they'll stay away from God, no matter how bitter it is. So I'll take her into the desert. I will allure her. I will speak tenderly to her, God says, and I'll win her back. And she shall sing there as in the days of her youth, the Bible says. And the whole idea is this, that she shall be like a virgin again. One day, many years ago, a young man came to me and asked about a certain lady who was here in the Moody Church who before she was saved had a series of alien bonding relationships.

And he asked my opinion and I said, well, she is no longer a virgin in her body, but she is a virgin in her heart. I really do believe that there is something to the fact that God is a God of new beginnings. However strong those bonds have been, we need not be subject to them, for we have allegiance to a new leader, and we've been bonded to Christ. And when we are bonded to Christ, we have the resources to break those other bonds that still keep leading us to sin and putting us under the sphere of influence of people who in the end will destroy us rather than bless us.

They will curse us rather than give us hope in our journey of life. The bonds are broken. What does the hymn writer say?

I love these words. He breaks the power of canceled sin. Many of you, your sins been canceled. I mean, you know, you've been forgiven, but the power is still there. He breaks the power of canceled sin.

He sets the prisoner free. His grace can make the vilest clean, his blood availed for me. Let's pray. Father, we invite your blessed Holy Spirit to do a work in the lives of all of us and the hundreds and hundreds of people listening to this message for whom it was specifically appointed. And we ask today, Father, that you shall grant grace to break relationships, to break off euphoric experiences that keep propelling people away from you, putting you on hold. And we ask today, Father, the deliverance shall come in making hard choices to say no. Grant that, oh God, we pray, for we are your people and we desire purity, but we are so vulnerable. Now, what is it that you need to say to the Lord today?

Whatever it is, would you just say it to him? Come to us, Father, because we need you so desperately for cleansing, for victory, for help, and for wisdom and help your people whom we love, the people for whom you died. In Jesus' name. Amen. From my heart to yours today, have you been blessed as a result of this message?

Have you been rebuked? Have you been given hope? Do you know someone else who would greatly benefit from listening to this message? We're making this series of messages available to all who connect with us. For a gift of any amount, we are making them available in permanent form so that you can listen to them again and again. Share them with your young people. Share them with your friends. I remember so clearly sitting in a staff meeting and saying to the staff, I'm going to preach a series of messages entitled Restoring the Soul.

And we talked about how needy such a series is. Well, we're making it available to you as a resource. Here's what you can do. Go to RTWOffer.com. That's RTWOffer.com, or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Ask for the series of messages Restoring the Soul. Actually, I have to tell you that that title came from Psalm 23 that perhaps you have memorized, where David said, He restores my soul. And how desperately our souls need to be restored.

So remember that series of messages, and they can be yours. Once again, the contact info, go to RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. I want to thank you so much for standing with us because of people just like you running to witness in 20 different countries in four different languages. And the good news is we are continuing to expand this ministry. So thanks in advance.

You can pick up the phone right now, and you can call 1-888-218-9337. It's time again for you to ask Pastor Lutzer a question about the Bible or the Christian life. Thoughts of our future Judgment Day before God are raising a lot of questions for a listener named Darlene, who asks, I was wondering if there is any sin that cannot be forgiven. I was not a Christian when I committed those sins, but I am a Christian now and must admit I still do worry that on Judgment Day I will not be forgiven.

They were terrible sins. How will God react to me on Judgment Day? Also, when we face God on Judgment Day, what will that be like? Do we stand in front of him and give an account of our life? If he says he was not pleased with our sins or terrible acts we may have done, then can we go into heaven? I would really like to know what your thoughts are on this.

Darlene, I certainly hope that you are listening because I have some very good news for you. You know, the very fact that you are a Christian means that of course your sins are forgiven. In fact, I preached a message years ago entitled, What God Does With Forgiven Sin, and one of the points I made is that the Bible says he casts them into the depths of the sea and he remembers them no more. And I'd like to suggest that then he asks us to put up a sign saying, I've cast your sins into the sea, no fishing.

So the past is past. God has forgiven you, or you wouldn't be a Christian. The bottom line is, no sin is unforgivable. The only unforgivable sin is the sin of unbelief that refuses to repent.

Obviously you're not in that category. Clearly you are a child of God. Now as to the second part of your question, even as Christians it is true that we will be at the judgment seat of Jesus Christ, and our lives will be reviewed since the time we were saved.

That's the question. It's not before that time, but what did we do to serve the Lord after he saved us? And at that time our lives will be under review, as I mentioned, and we will be accountable to God. Does that mean that we will see our sins that we have committed since we were Christians? No, we will not see our sins, but our lives will be evaluated. And if sin enters into the evaluation, we will see our sins as forgiven, as put away. But the bottom line is, having received the free gift of salvation, having been forgiven our past, we are now to live for God. And our deeds will be evaluated, the Bible says, to see whether or not they are true or worthless. So I'm not contradicting myself. On the one hand, all your sins are forgiven.

On the other hand, we do however have to wrestle with the texts that tell us that we shall give an account to God with what we did since we became believers. Darlene, we certainly hope that Pastor Lutzer's counsel has been of help to you today, and thank you, Dr. Lutzer. If you'd like to hear your question answered, you can. Go to our website at rtwoffer.com and click on Ask Pastor Lutzer, or call us at 1-888-218-9337.

That's 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you understand God's roadmap for your race of life.

Many assume God won't forgive moral sins, so they sin all the more, not knowing the mercy of the Christ who died for sins like these. Next time on Running to Win, a real-life story of how Jesus restored the dignity of someone with a lifetime of sexual sin. Thanks for listening. This is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.