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October 14, 2021 1:00 am
We feel the impact of our fathers for our whole lifetime. King David let bad situations fester in his family until the poison burst out in civil strife. Let’s learn from the mistakes of an otherwise great man, dealing with unresolved matters long before they explode.Click here to listen (Duration 25:02)
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Jesus phone number for David bad situations festering his family poison burst out in civil strife resolved to learn from the mistakes of an otherwise great deal with unresolved matters long before they explode today just from the Moody Church in Chicago this with Dr. Erwin looks her clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line certain. Some say time heals all wounds, but this is not always true.
No Dave is a matter of fact, even in the last message I emphasize the fact that time and go on year after year after year, and the disagreements in the hurt and the anger just festers. That's why it is that there are many families in which people die with unresolved issues because time does not heal old wounds, but at the same time we need God's wisdom as to how some of these wounds can be taken care of before we die. And by the way, this series of messages is entitled reclaiming the family. It can be yours in CD form so that you can play these messages again and again and share them with your friends for a gift of any amount you go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 ask for this series.
Reclaiming the family time itself does not heal family will time itself does not heal family once it would've been easy for David to say, well, Absalom's been gone five years.
Surely I can just kind of forget about what happened five years ago.
Time heals. None of those loans whether it's five years 10 years 15 years. Unresolved matters continue to have consequences not only in one generation, but also in another generation. They just boomerang and everyone is affected and it just lies there unresolved on dealt with and time heals nothing if somebody mistreated you think of tame are, how long would it take Kmart to forget what Absalom excuse me, how long would it take Kmart to forget what Amnon had done. She lives with it until her dieting day.
I've been to funerals where there are family splits family disagreements have ever been there when you can just feel the tension when one group of family members want to come to the wake at a different time than the other, hoping that they won't meet because now they have to somehow be connected in some way, but nobody wants to deal with all the underlying issues that may be 10 years old 20 years old or 50 years old because time really heals nothing. There's 1/3 lesson and it is so obvious. I read it this morning and thought how profound, how profound whatever is broken should be fixed. Why that really took a huge amount of wisdom. I thought about that for a long time. Whatever is broken should be fixed now. Every member of the family has a part to play.
David was broken. David was able to fix himself in God's presence, but he was unable to fix his family members, probably because he never dealt with it as a family. He dealt with it with God, but he refused to deal with it is within the family structure.
So David couldn't fix it, the wives, I'm sure weren't able to fix it. Maybe they tried try to exercise some kind of control and discipline over children that were clearly out of control but for the most part, David's family wasn't fixed.
His other son Adonijah rebellious boy. The Bible says the David never ever contradicted them never got involved in his life, but I'm speaking about you. Now what about your family structures some member of the family has to do something has to do something you can't just continue to quietly keep these secrets play the different roles and pretend that everything is okay when in point of fact, it is not okay at all. It is severely broken. Somebody has to actually do something they be to ask forgiveness, maybe to bring people together maybe to seek a counselor, something has to happen, but I speak to you today maybe you're a child you so how my going to fix mom and dad answer is probably won't be able to in counseling. I frequently told children.
God will never hold you accountable for doing a bad job of rearing your parents, children, you probably cannot fix mom and dad, but there are certain things that you can do to fix yourself. You always begin their fix your self you can begin first of all, by establishing some boundaries.
Now let me tell you about some parents and some some of these systems that were talking about family systems, some of which have somebody who is very evil in the family and they are going to want to exercise control over you there. They are going to find ways to manipulate you to put guilt on you to put responsibility on you and what they're anxious for is that you will always come under their sphere of influence and be just as dysfunctional as you are that. Or rather, as they are. That is the goal of some parents and some members of the family, they hate it because you seem to be healthy.
Let me tell you true story of woman was dying and angry evil bitter woman was dying and her daughter cared for her over a period of months, putting up with all of the anger that was spewing from her mother's mouth and you know what her mother's final word was before she died.
She said to her daughter.
I shall speak to you from the grave, while so the mother dies they open the will and they discover that her considerable fortune was given in the will to one grandchild. Nobody got anything else, not the people who cared for her, not other members of the family. Just one grandchild and then it was put in in the will in such a way that this kid couldn't inherit all the money and then say hey I want to be fair I'm going to distributed to other family members.
The executors needed to oversee to make sure that no other member of the family got any of those funds what that woman you is that she was setting up a series of circumstances that for years and years and years would continue to breed division and hostility in the family and she did speak from the grave message of hatred.
The message of destruction. So what you do if you're in a family system that's broke and you can't fix it, fix your self do not allow other people to destroy you for the rest of your life because they are destroyers you put in place certain boundaries. That's a whole separate subject, let me suggest also.
You develop healthy relationships outside of your family. You may discover that there are actually some people who are pretty normal out there someplace you can find them within your family but they do exist, find them, spend time with them.
Make sure that you have a mirror that that enables you to see reality from a different perspective and to be in places where you know that things can be different. You do not have to live the way your family expects you to live. You can rise above the dysfunction that is taking place within your home and obviously what you need to do is to develop an independent relationship with God that is so satisfying that you can keep your sanity in the midst of all of the stuff that's going on. That's never dealt with. Remember the woman at the well. Jesus went to her and said, now I know that you got five husband you had five husbands and the person that you're living with now is not your husband, may I say that dysfunctional families are nothing new, blended families are nothing new, just look at David in the mess in that family. But Jesus said to a woman who could not look to a husband for any sense of affirmation or or control or any sense of support she had had such a bad history with man. Jesus said if you believe on me, you will find that with you. There will be a well of living water springing up into everlasting life. You have inner resources that even your failed marriage is cannot take from you. There's an independence that the blessed Holy Spirit of God can give us, and I encourage you develop that deep relationship with God, a satisfying relationship with God that says just because my family is this way there is something more important to even and that is that God grants me inner resources to put up with and to even benefit from all the dysfunction that is around me. So that's the third point. Whatever is broken should be fixed forth, rejoice in God's grace and even broken families, rejoice in God's grace. Look at how far we've come. The first lesson was that families are interrelated. Secondly, time itself does not heal family wounds. Third, whatever is broken should be fixed forth, rejoice in the fact that God's grace is seen even in the midst of brokenness, we can see that in David's family is gracious to think that God allowed David to write so much of the Bible that is blessed so many millions of people that certainly was a mark of grace. Despite the fact that he clearly failed as a father, God is very very gracious. He allows us to be blessed even in the midst of failure that doesn't get David off the hook by any means, but what it does is it show that it's not as if everything is all one way or the other way either all right or all wrong in the midst of dysfunction God gives grace and then there's also grace in the life of Solomon. Now, strictly speaking, Solomon should not of been born because he is David's second child with Bathsheba, a woman that David should've never married so we can say Solomon you know you're not really supposed to be here.
You know, I mean your your result because David stole your mother from somebody else and had the guy murdered in the process out.
But there Solomon and the Bible says and Solomon was born and the Lord loved him and and God even blessed Solomon for David's sake. And by the way David had a closer relationship with Solomon very clearly, but he did with his other children that here you have some sons who turn out badly and here's a son who ends up writing much of the Scripture as well. Many of the chapters of the book of Proverbs 1 of the wisest man who ever lived in one of Israel's greatest king's was Solomon and you look at that you say amazing coming from a family network that is as confused as David's was that certainly is grace, and may I say that that is grace.
Here's what you find. Sometimes you have family system that is severely broken two or three members of that system go into all kinds of bizarre behavior. And they act out everything that the family was, but often times what you find is that there is that grand exception that grand exception that says I'm not going to become a part of the system and let it destroy me. I'm going to make something of my life. I'm going to be different. I'm going to give my life to God. I'm thinking right now while I'm preaching of a minister in the Chicago area, whom I know who is doing a wonderful job and is a close friend of mine and comes from a very very dysfunctional family. Strictly speaking, you look at his family. There's no way that this guy should be doing today what he's doing God's grace meets us at the deepest point of our need for those who are willing to open their hearts to grace and forgiveness and help. God says I'm going to lift you up out of your situation and give you hope and give you help, even in the midst of brokenness. There is always grace that stretches like an elastic band to cover the need is 1/5 lesson, that is, be sure that you belong to the right branch of David's family tree. The right branch of David's family tree. I spoke about root stem and branch and said that David is the root well.
David, of course, is the root but there was a root before David and his name was Jesse. That's the name of David's father and and by the way, part of David's baggage was that he was a last born, despised by his brothers, they never really got the approval of his brothers, probably not of his father either. There's some evidence that so so David took you know his own brokenness into his system. Here's what I want to say in the Scriptures in Isaiah chapter 11 verse one it says that I shoot shall come forth from the stump of Jesse. That's David's father and that this shoot is going to be a person who has the spirit of wisdom and love and greatness and power. And it's a reference to the fact that David stands in the line so you Jesse. You have David and on through. You can trace the genealogies as they are given in the New Testament and and from this from this genealogies with all of its brokenness and you can see who is in Jesus genealogies the prostitute Rahab is there. Bathsheba is there and in the midst of all of this, Jesus is born and he's the branch that we must claim to belong to a more important family than even an earthly family and I say to you today to matter where you are. There is a heavenly family that God has given to us that we can enter through faith in Jesus Christ. One day Jesus was preaching in a huge crowd was around them and some people wanted to get to him and they said master your your mother and your brothers want to talk to you, Jesus made an astounding statement. He said, who is my mother or my brother or my sister, but he who does the will of my father who is in heaven.
No matter who you are. I encourage you to belong to a family that really matters. The family of Christ. Go out there. Go out there and make a difference. There is a story about five young men who went into the Navy in the Navy. Of course they had opportunities to be immoral and to embrace the world for of them did one did not been somebody said to them, what kept you from all those temptations and he said it was a picture that I carried will tell me more.
Is it was a picture that I took when my family said goodbye to me. My father was there reading his Bible with tears flowing down his cheeks. My mother was there. My brothers and sisters were there and we are praying together knees.
I kept this picture and he said every time I'm tempted, I'm saying, no, no, I cannot. I cannot betray I can't betray my family and that kept him from absorbing the values of the pleasures of the world. I'd like to you to visualize another family I'd like you to visualize the our father who is in heaven and a son who is been given to us to die for our sins that we can be reconciled to the father and that son accepts us as brothers and as sisters and says join my family and I don't know how we can possibly be kept from the world more powerfully with more encouragement and more help than to realize that we belong to a heavenly family and we are in route to a different destination at this moment.
It does not matter who your father was whether he was there. Whether he wasn't. I mean, it matters, but just hang on for a moment at this moment. It doesn't matter whether you're rightly treated, or even whether you were abused.
Yes, it matters, but ultimately, what matters most is the divine family to which you belong. If you don't belong. The way is through Christ died for sinners just like you receive them and become a member of a family that really really matters. Let's pray father. This message is given to many people who came from wonderful good families good support the intervention of a father in the midst of family squabbles also is given to those who came from moderately good families and others broken family. Some perhaps no family and we ask in Jesus name that you'll give wisdom and to help and healing and redemption. No matter where we find ourselves Mako God this church, a church of strong families that model your intention for the family bring about forgiveness bring about Lord God reconciliation that is based on forgiveness and we ask the children will grow up in homes where their love and Lupton cared for and that mercy and grace will abound. How desperately we need that in today's world for those who have never trusted you as Savior make this an opportunity for them to open their hearts to you and say yes Jesus. I receive you to become a member of the divine family Jesus name we pray.
Amen. My friend, this is Pastor Luther and I think you since my heart as I concluded that message emphasizing the fact that we belong to the family of God. No matter what is happened in your life even as it may have affected you negatively. There is hope and there is help. The ultimate family is around the throne of our heavenly father, I want you to get a pencil because in the moment. I'm going to be telling you about some contact information that I want you to take advantage of.
I believe very deeply that this series of messages is one that you'll want to listen to repeatedly and to share it with your friends because even as you have been listening to these messages.
I'm sure that God has brought to your mind. People who need to hear what is been said, you may need it as well.
We all do for a gift of any amount.
This series can be yours. It's entitled reclaiming the family.
Here's what you can do. Go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337.
When you connect with us. Remember that we are dependent upon your gifts and your sacrificial help as we continue to get the gospel to thousands upon thousands of people every single day were grateful for this opportunity, but were also very anxious to put into your hands resources that we think will be transforming ask for the series reclaiming the family go to RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 you can write to us running to win 1635 N. was so hard.
Chicago line 60614 running to win comes from Moody church in Chicago. Our kids are drowning in the muck of the sex generated media next time. What parents can and must do to counter the culture wants to destroy their children. Thanks for listening for Dr. Erwin Luzerne this is Damon, how was your winnings when you sponsor Moody churning