The Mystique Of Motherhood Part 1

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. While our culture urges women to break through the glass ceiling, only women can bear children and thus preserve our future. That's why motherhood is so key to a nation's survival. Today, a look at motherhood as a vital component of rebuilding fractured families.

From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, tell us what you mean by the mystique of motherhood. Well, Dave, I'm not sure that I can give a comprehensive definition on the mystique of motherhood, but I have to say that when I think about it, my own mother comes to mind. Now, I was the last of five children, so she and I spent a lot of time together when my siblings were in school, and I always believed that I was her favorite child.

Perhaps she made the other children feel the same way. The point is, the influence of a mother, her godly character, her prayer for me, her interest in my life, all of that has stayed with me. And those are the kinds of insights I share in an interview I gave to Philip Miller recently, entitled The Past, The Present, and The Future. I gave this interview because I wanted to give praise to God for all of the things that I've learned in my journey, all of the opportunities that I have had, all traceable to praying parents and God's goodness. For a gift of any amount, this interview can be yours. Ask for The Past, The Present, and The Future. Pastor Philip interviewed me, and I think it will be a blessing to you. Here's what you do.

Go to rtwoffer.com, rtwoffer.com, or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Ask for The Past, The Present, and The Future. This is written by a mother. It's entitled Things I've Learned from My Children.

I've learned that a king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square house four inches deep. I've learned a three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. I've learned that double-pane windows are not strong enough to stop a baseball that has been hit by a ceiling fan. Break fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, lots of it. Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. Super glue is forever. No matter how much jello you put in the swimming pool, you can't walk on the water.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. Woman says, I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

The answer is, with any luck, right after he finishes college. Somebody says it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby. Somebody doesn't know that once you've had a baby, normal is history.

That's what it is. Well, on a more serious note, back in 1928, Reverend Caldwell wrote these words. Well may we pause to pay honor to her who after Jesus Christ is God's best gift to men, a mother. It was she who shared her life with us when as yet our members were unformed. Into the valley of the shadow of death she walked that we might have the light of life. In her arms was the garner of our food and the soft couch for our repose. There we nestled in the hour of pain. There was the playground of our infant glee.

Those same arms later became our refuge and stronghold. It was she who taught our baby feet to go and lifted us up over rough places. Her blessed hand applied the needle by day and by night to make our infant clothes.

She put the book under our arm and started us off for school. But best of all, she taught our baby lips to lisp the name of Jesus and told us the wondrous story of a savior's love. There are wicked mothers like Jezebel of old, but I am glad to believe that they are comparatively few and that most mothers are loving and caring. Well in our pragmatic and self-centered age there probably are more mothers who are not good mothers, but we thank God today for all those who with sacrifice and love and tenderness raise their children for God. We're talking about reclaiming the family. It's not possible to reclaim the family unless we reclaim motherhood. There are certain myths that have come about in society back in the 70s and we are reaping the impact of those myths. One is that every woman who doesn't have a career outside of the home is being cheated and exploited by our male-dominated society.

That is a myth. I know that sometimes it is necessary for mothers of young children to work outside the home. Sometimes necessity demands it, but there can be no substitute at all for the tender touch and care of a mother giving attention to a child through all those formative years. A second myth is that children don't need the extensive nurturing and involvement of their mothers, that you can get others to do for money what you cannot do for whatever reason, but that simply is a myth.

Mothers, your role in the home and to those children is absolutely critical. It is said that one day a woman came to D.L. Moody with a little boy holding the hands of a little boy and she said, Mr. Moody, I believe God is calling me to the mission field. And he said, yes, he sure is calling you and there's the little heathen right there. So mothers, God is calling you to the mission field and there he is right there crying at two in the morning.

That's your mission field. There are other myths in society as well. Now I need to tell you that this has been an agonizing week for me in the preparation of this message, not because of its content, that was easy, but it was agonizing because of a number of reasons. First of all, a couple in this church, a wonderful couple, sent me a letter and a book and they were saying, Pastor, please remember on Mother's Day that there are many couples who suffer like we do with infertility. They had had three miscarriages. She said, the first time I came to Moody Church on Mother's Day, I did not want to come, but I forced myself to go. And she said that was the year that Carrie Mason spoke about her struggle with infertility.

And now I'm quoting from the letter, as tears stream down my face, I thanked God I made the choice to attend. But let's keep in mind that there are couples for whom Mother's Day is difficult. Then secondly, there are mothers who have lost their children, mothers who for whatever reason may have empty arms today, even though they are mothers. Perhaps they gave their child up for adoption.

For them, Mother's Day is difficult as well. And then you think of all the mothers who believe that they have failed. This week, I was speaking to a mother who said this to me in more candor than she needed to because I wasn't even asking her about these things. But this is what she said.

She said, you may think of me as a nice person because I can be kind, I can be sociable and care about people. But she said, when I'm at home, she said, I scream, I lose my temper. And she said, I'm a very, very bad mother.

Now that dear woman lost her husband to suicide. So she began to share with me what she'd been through trying to raise kids as a single mother. So there are mothers out there who think that they have failed. And speaking of single mothers, just imagine for a moment, folks, the loneliness, the sense of frustration in not being able to share at deep levels regarding the children that you are trying to raise. You do not have someone to respond to, some benchmark, somebody with whom you can discuss the ideas like one single mother said, the thing I miss is adult conversation. Nobody to discuss the matters of life with.

Imagine that. And then there are some of you who are single mothers who do not have your children because it may well be that custody has gone to their father. So I'm thinking about all of you today. But then I'm also thinking of all of the mothers who have fulfilled their role in wonderful and encouraging ways.

That was part of my struggle this week. The other part was I had decided to speak on Proverbs chapter 31. And that's a difficult passage to speak on because number one, it's so familiar. I can imagine some saying, oh, here we are again, the virtuous woman of Proverbs chapter 31. Now, I haven't preached that passage for 10 or 12 years, but still it's so well known people say, oh, her again.

And then I realized that she is the ideal woman. In fact, it says in Proverbs 31 that many women do well, but you surpass them all. So there are Proverbs 31 women, but they are a unique breed, really. Evelyn Johnson was a Proverbs 31 woman for sure. My mother is still a Proverbs 31 woman. And speaking of my mother and for those of us who are grandparents, on their 70th wedding anniversary, when mom and dad were together and all of us five children and all of our children and grandchildren, their grandchildren and great-grandchildren were together, I was sitting beside my mother and I said to her, mother, do you actually know the names of your 29 great-grandchildren?

I didn't know who these kids were, who they belonged to as they were running around. And I'll never forget this. This is so clear in my mind.

It's like a video. She just went like this and she said, oh, sure. She said, I have a prayer list and I mentioned every one of them to her heavenly father every day. Grandparents, there's a model for you to follow. Your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren in such great need, in such great need. And every Saturday when I speak to my mother and I call her every Saturday, she always says, now what are you preaching on on Sunday?

Because she wants to know how to pray better for me and for the ministry. I have a Proverbs 31 mother and I know other Proverbs 31 mothers. I married a Proverbs 31 woman and many of you did too. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to look at Proverbs chapter 31 very briefly and we're going to talk about this ideal woman and then afterwards we're going to also talk about God's grace and God's help in the midst of our troubled times and in the midst of our broken families.

That's the agenda for the next 15 minutes or so, so keep hanging in because we're going to end with a lot of hope. Proverbs 31, now you do have to understand this is a passage that has to be understood in context. This woman who had it all together, she had a wonderful husband, she had some money that she could invest, she had lovely clothes, and she lived at a time before MTV. Think of the advantage that she had. She lived at a time when young women were not starving themselves to death with various eating disorders because they were obsessed with appearance. She lived at a time when she could make the clothes rather than going to JT Maxx and trying to buy them. Did I say that wrong?

I don't think I've ever been there but I know it exists. Oh man, beyond target I'm lost. Alright folks, we're going to get into the text, we really are. Proverbs chapter 31. You'll notice that she was rightly related to her husband. Verse 10, an excellent wife who can find she is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm.

All the days of her life she seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchants, she brings her food from afar. Notice the heart of her husband trusts in her, she's trustworthy. He can trust her with a checkbook. He can trust her with the children. He knows that she will make wise decisions when he's not at home. He knows that she's not going to be taken in because of some schemes or because of some foolish thing that culture begins to put upon us. He can trust her. And then notice how much initiative she has. She seeks wool and flax and she brings her food, verse 14, from afar. Why from afar?

Well obviously because it's cheaper. She's the kind of woman who will take those coupons and actually cut them out, take the time to cut them out of all things, and show them at the cash register at Dominic's. So she is one who's rightly related to her husband.

She's also rightly related to her children. It says in verse 15, she rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. And you'll notice how she takes care of her children. It says that she makes the clothes for them.

Verse 19, she puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household for all of her household are clothed in scarlet. She's a woman who sacrifices for her children. Gets up early, the text says, she rises when it is still night. I think again of my dear mother out in the farm with a wood burning stove.

The house would get so hot during the summer when it was used. She used to get up at about four o'clock in the morning, bake bread so that when we as children got up, the fire in the stove could already be put out so that it would not be too hot for us in the house during the day, all taken care of. Always thinking ahead, always sacrificing, always considering opportunities for her household.

When it says in verse 18 that her lamp never goes out, it doesn't mean that she's up all night necessarily. What it means is she's always thinking of the future. To her planning, whether it's for winter or for the days ahead for school is always on her mind because she is a woman who really sacrifices and lays down her life for her family.

Cold weather does not cause her panic. When she clothes her children in scarlet, it obviously means that she clothed them well, but I would think also that she clothed them modestly. And if she did, she would instruct her teenage daughter regarding modesty, what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate. And when the teenage daughter says, yeah, but everybody's doing it, she would smile and say, you know, but we're not everybody. We're different.

We can be countercultural in an age that no longer has biblical standards. Well, my friend, this is Pastor Luther and you've just heard a description of my own mother. How thankful to God I am for every memory I have of her and her investment in the lives of her children. You know, this ministry running to win is in 20 different countries in three different languages. The other day I was reminded again of the impact that it has. I was speaking at an event in Nashville. A young man, I was sitting on a chair and a young man came and knelt beside me and said, I want to tell you something. And he looked into my eyes and he said this, he said, I was far from God, but I began to listen to the ministry of running to win. And it is that ministry that put me back into fellowship with God.

And he was working now in a Christian organization. Actually, that young man represents hundreds of people, thousands across the nations who have been impacted by this ministry. And I want to thank you so much for helping us.

Would you consider becoming an endurance partner? That's someone who stands with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts. Here's what you do to get more information. You go to RTWOffer.com. That's RTWOffer.com. When you're there, click on the endurance partner button, or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337. Let me give you that phone number again, 1-888-218-9337.

Or RTWOffer.com, click on the endurance partner button. Thanks in advance for helping us. It's time now for another chance for you to ask Pastor Lutzer a question about the Bible or the Christian life. When we hear the word addict, most of us think of drugs or alcohol. But there are other forms of addiction.

Christi is a running to win listener desperate for a solution to her dilemma. She writes, my husband of 25 years is addicted to spending. He's gotten our family so far into debt that I don't think we'll ever recover. No unfaithfulness, no pornography, no alcohol or physical abuse, just spending. We've separated from one another several times, and he promises to change.

But immediately he gets us into more debt. I'm afraid for my children. Does the Bible only allow divorce for abusive situations? Or can I get a divorce to protect me and my children from financial disaster? Well, Christi, my heart really goes out to you because you're trying to be a good mother, you're trying to be a good wife, and yet your husband clearly is putting your family in jeopardy in ways that are totally and completely unnecessary.

A couple of things. Number one, you need to go for help and your husband needs help. If he's not in an accountability group in your church, a men's group, where there are those who will hold him accountable, then I think that there's very little hope that he might change his ways. Something else that is very essential, and I would really ask you to consider it, and that is to see if your bank account can't be separated from his.

He clearly cannot be trusted to use money wisely. So what he needs to do is to make sure that his wife and children are protected, and I hope that he has the wisdom to realize that he has a problem, and that in some way you can separate your funds so that you don't have to divorce and you don't have to live with this kind of fear that all of you are going to go under. A wise man would indeed take care of his wife along those lines. Furthermore, your husband is seriously sinning, seriously sinning. The Apostle Paul says that if a man does not provide for his wife and children, for those of his household, he is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith. Your husband needs to read that verse.

He needs to be jerked into reality. And I'm not sure that you're the one who is able to do it. You need to go for help to have someone else do that.

Hold him accountable, separate your finances, and make sure that you are not connected to the debts that he is incurring, and I'm sure that there are those who can help you know how to bring that about so that you can go on, so that you can still live a married life but at the same time have some kind of protection for yourself and your family. I conclude by simply praying in my heart for you that God will help you to resolve this very difficult situation. Thank you, Christy, for sharing your situation. Thank you, Pastor Lutzer, for that advice.

If you'd like to hear your question answered, you can. Go to our website at rtwoffer.com and click on Ask Pastor Lutzer. Or, call us at 1-888-218-9337.

That's 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. Running to Win comes to you from the Moody Church in Chicago. Next time, tune in for more details on what the ideal woman is like, as depicted in the book of Proverbs chapter 31. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.