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Miles Apart In The Same House Part 1

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer
The Truth Network Radio
October 1, 2021 1:00 am

Miles Apart In The Same House Part 1

Running to Win / Erwin Lutzer

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October 1, 2021 1:00 am

When the family breaks down, culture itself breaks down. Single-parent homes face enormous obstacles. But there is a resource that can prevent marriages from shattering, and it comes to us from the finished work of Christ. 

 Click here to listen (Duration 25:02)

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For to Jesus on the endangered species Summit very concerned about the fate of all the real endangered species is the family fractured broken stress dysfunctional. All these words describe racist and the most basic unit of society.

If the church does not act to save the family will from the Moody Church in Chicago this one looks or clear teaching sauce make it across. Mr. loser tell us about the series begins today reclaiming the family. Dave, I have to say with all sadness that the description that you just gave today's family is all too accurate. The simple fact is we are living at a time when the family is breaking up for many different reasons. Children of course are the casualty and as all of us know they take their own baggage into their future marriages. That's why this series of messages is so desperately important and I would invite all who are listening pick up the phone call your friends.

Tell them that they should listen to this series to give them instruction and hope in the midst of unit of society, the family most basic, as you mentioned Dave that is falling apart. This series of messages, represents my heart for every single listener for every family for every child. Let's listen carefully well what you think about Jennifer Wilbanks. She is the bride got cold feet and that she decided to concoct a story about a reduction to get out of marrying someone she did get part of it right. If you're unsure as to whether or not you should marry a given individual. Be sure to not walk down that aisle leave the 600 guests in the pews, but don't walk down the aisle. The Moody church. I ended a wedding on a Wednesday. That was to take place on a Saturday woman came and began to tell me whom she was going to marry. And here he was abusive so I called the man who was going to perform the ceremony was none of our staff. It was someone else from the outside Christian minister. I told him I said you know what this marriage isn't happening and he agreed.

He said if that's the case. He said I didn't counsel them while he said okay. It won't. She said oh yeah but she said I come from a shame culture and people of already given gifts and they're already on the way. This is Wednesday and the wedding is Saturday. I said that's okay blame me, tell them that pastor Luzerne you know what he did, he's not letting that wedding take place months later she met me in the lobby and gave me a hug and she said pastor. How will I ever thank you enough. She said I knew that I should not marry him, but she said I didn't have the strength to say no thank you, thank you, thank you marriage is something like flies on the screen door.

Those that are in want out of those that are out one in and out so Jennifer Wilbanks did get part of it right, don't walk down the I'll just throw the fish back in the lake and keep walking.

But try to do it in such a way that you will not become a household name.

Most women who get married. Think of three things on their wedding day the aisle you know walking down the aisle. Then of course they think of the altar standing at the altar, and of course they think of him, but actually it's I'll alter him take this from my heart to yours. You won't you won't every one of his flaws is going to get worse. His good points aren't going to seem that good after you're married and just accept the fact that God might change in the church might change him. His friends might change in the spirit might change him, but you won't you won't you officially give up all authority to change them when you walk down that aisle. So if you have doubts, don't. So what is the family going to look like in the future. According to Time magazine and this is an old article long before we were talking about the possibility of same-sex marriages. According to Time magazine. It will be interracial bisexual divided by divorce multiplied by remarriage. The concept of illegitimate children will vanish, because the nuclear family will have vanished. In fact, the nuclear family that was so popular during the 50s will be thought of as having been normal. There will be serial monogamy that is one partner at a time, but several partners during a lifetime. You may get married and right into the contract that you're marrying this person for your college years and then you have a career and during that. You're married to someone else and then you decide to divorce that individual and retire with someone who is finally compatible. Yeah, I'm sure, and children will have to divide their affection and their loyalty between stepmothers birth mother's biological father stepparents and ex-stepparents. Schools will have to have 24 hour support structures for children and sanctuary for abused children may be Huxley, a member in his brave new world is said that there will actually be baby hatcheries staffed with nurses who will do the rearing for people and of course I my dad and everybody's going to be happy and well-adjusted and life is just going to be wonderful.

Talk about a nightmare nightmare. Imagine all of the depravity.

Imagine all of the emotional baggage. Imagine all of the pain. Even if a part of what I just read comes true. If you can imagine it. Today I begin a series of messages on the family.

I know I have a habit of saying that this is the most important series I've ever done, so I'm going to revert to habit and say that this is surely one of the most important series I've ever done. And the key verse for the whole series is actually coming to us from the book of Nehemiah. You need not turn to it. But I shall simply read it and it says this. Do not be afraid of them.

Remember the Lord who is great and awesome and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and before your homes. That's what were going to do were going to fight for your marriage were going to fight for your children were going to fight for the strengthening of the family. We are going to reclaim the family. That's what this series of messages is called reclaiming the family. God's priority in God's homes. Now today were going to begin with the first family on the topic of the communication. Communication has to do with the giving and receiving of messages and communication is important not just so that we might understand each other there all kinds of stories about people who miss communicate like the person who said I know you think you've understood what I said but what you have heard is not what I meant and the little girl who said that my Sunday school teacher said that if I am not more regular in attendance. She's going to be dropping me down the furnace mother was aghast and then discovered that the Sunday school teacher said that if you're not here more often I'll drop you from the register munication is important, but the reason that I'm speaking on it today is because it is important to communicate in order to love unless you allow someone else into your life and open your heart to them unless there is a sense in which somebody knows all about you both the good and the bad and the ugly, and they accept you. Nevertheless, unless your that open with someone in your marriage, the person whom you married, unless there is that openness there will never be love.

It is not possible to love a stranger you can have a sexual relationship with a stranger, but you cannot love a stranger.

So what people do is they have walls in their life and they take these walls and they put them in firm foundations and they did them very very D and they live within these walls and the wall may be guarding them from people who would come to know them and within those walls they may experience deep depression, anger, a secret addiction. And that's the way they live so that their outer persona is something entirely different than that which is going on in their inward life today were going to talk about those walls, and with God's help, were going to see them demolished. I remember a woman saying to me. I am married to the great stone face comes home gets a newspaper gets buried in it watches television.

There's no communication. There is no mutual understanding.

There is no camaraderie. There is no sense of harmony in connection another woman said to me, my husband has put a sign over his heart and the sign says do not disturb, but would like to do is to remove those signs today and would like to turn that stone face into a face of flesh we don't have time today to go into the story in Genesis chapter 3 where it all began. But you know the story all too well how Adam and Eve sinned that what were going to do is to talk about the consequences of sin.

It says in Genesis chapter 3 verse seven then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves a loincloth. This and they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord among the trees of the garden, but the Lord called out to the man and said where are you and he said I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.

He said, who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat the man said the woman whom you gave to be with me.

She gave me fruit of the tree and I ate then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done and the woman said the serpent deceived me, and I ate. What are the walls that keep us from communicating. Why can two people go down and I'll with the best of intentions. I performed many weddings I don't ever remember a couple saying that we have one great goal and that is to make one another really miserable. Now they were thinking that it in their hearts they never told us that that was there one big goal and yet we think of the misery that exists in the lack of communication. Why three walls and it will see how God comes to demolish them. First of all, you have shame and guilt, shame and guilt.

Who told you that you were naked. Sin brings shame and shame is one of the most powerful emotions that we can ever experience and what do they do when they are filled with shame. They tried to hide from God as best they can. Among the trees of the garden, but you can't hide from God so they begin to hide from one another. And shame is going to now produce a barrier that is going to make communication very difficult, even in the best of marriages. There are two kinds of shame one is imposed. Shame some of you grew up in homes that were shame-based. A number of years ago I spoke about the shame-based home and in that home there was abuse and there was alcoholism and there was all kinds of secrets that you had as a family.

Or maybe your parents. Shame to you when you miss behave. I'm amazed at how nave and wrong. Some parents are even when it comes to sexual matters, how they use shame and destroy a child in dry them into secrecy. Maybe it's imposed shame. Also, there is actual shame shame for which you and I are responsible because all of us have done things of which we are ashamed we know the power of shame. Could you just imagine what would happen if all of our thoughts and all of our actions in all of our desires were public knowledge we'd never gathered together in a group like this, we would all run for the hills because of shame. That's the first barrier. The second is fear. You'll notice it says that the man said in verse 10, I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. Fear of what will fear of rejection, fear of being exposed. Fear of knowing that if the people around you knew exactly who you are, they would be shocked and they'd want to befriend someone else that kind of fear tied in with shame is deep and debilitating and then of course sometimes relationships only increase the fear member receiving a phone call from a man who said you know my wife always told me that if I ever committed adultery. She would leave me would be the end of the marriage will now I have so how do I go back and make things right. How do I come clean when she's told me that so many times now.

Undoubtedly, she did so with the best of motives thinking well if I tell him that that's going to prevent him from some kind of a sexual relationship of wrong relationship. Well, in point of fact, it didn't, but what it did do is that made it very very difficult for him to come back and to admit what he had done so that their marriage would no longer be built on a lie, but would be built on reality makes it difficult. So what do rejected people do.

First of all, they create circumstances in which they will perpetuate their rejection. You and I've met people like that. There rejected and they are angry so they say to themselves, I'm going to make sure that nobody is ever going to accept me and if they ever have a friend they will suck the life out of that friend until the friend has to reject because he can't take it anymore and they say see you're just like everybody else. Nobody loves me. My parents didn't now you're rejecting me to, or else they go into deep isolation and they live within their wall and what they're doing is they're saying. No one will ever penetrate these walls here. I will live and no one will ever hurt me again so you have rejection and then the there something else in this text and that is defensiveness self protection. This is big throughout the years I have become very interested in human behavior because I know something about my own heart and I'm endlessly fascinated with all of the different ways that we have, to self protect ourselves.

As a matter of fact, two days ago I took a book from someone else's shelf that he willingly gave me and I read it and I read about five or six different ways that you and I will not reveal who we really are all of the defense mechanisms because nobody is to really understand who we are. The image must always be better than the reality in one of the ways that people do it is they blame others for what they've done fact if you're an addict. You actually get to the point where you will not accept any responsibility for what you do, it will be automatic.

It is your employer's fault. It is your wife's fault. It's it's the kids fault. It's the caps fault it's somebody else's fault because you have made yourself immune from blame.

The very same can be said by those who have destroyed their conscience. Sociopaths take no blame and no responsibility and see the evil that is in their own heart as belonging to someone else.

It is not theirs but we can already see this here God comes to Adam and said, have you eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded you not to eat. Adam should of said Lord I did.

I'm guilty that's not what he said is it well the woman. The woman Lord the woman whom you gave me watch my hands now Lord, it's this week will woman whom you gave me, she took of the tree and then what's a man supposed to do when his wife misbehaves he has to do it with her will. My friend, this is Pastor Luther. I certainly hope that you listen to this message. Next time is it continues and we hear what happened between Adam and his wife and all that transpired as a result of their disobedience, I have to emphasize that when we look at Adam and Eve.

We see ourselves.

This morning I was on a talk show when I was asked about the sins of the fathers being visited upon the children and I pointed out that Adam is actually the father of a soul in him we see ourselves, but in Christ we of course are transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. Recently I gave an interview to Philip Miller, entitled the past, the present and the future.

I did this to bring glory to God. I talked about my past being born on a farm. The simplicity of my parents. Their godly living there godly example and I gave this interview so that people might understand how God leads his children, and of course I talked about the present. What is happening in our culture, as well as the future for a gift of any amount. This interview can be yours. Here's what you do go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 I'm going to be giving you that phone number again. But remember to ask for the past the present and the future, emphasizing the fact that all the opportunities that we have in life are undeserved. They come from God and God leads us step-by-step. Even when we don't know that he is doing so that's my testimony the past, the present and the future you can go to RTW offer.com. Thank you in advance for your gift or call us at 1-888-218-9337 it's time now for another chance for you to ask Pastor Luther a question about the Bible or the Christian life. When you read the news.

It seems the end times are right around the corner of the Bible tells of a powerful one world leader will emerge. In those times a man, it calls the antichrist.

A listener named Patricia wrote with this intriguing question. Pastor looks or will the antichrist know he is the antichrist before he emerges. Will Patricia I'm going to give you a very simple and a very short answer.

I think that the answer is no, I don't think that Judas knew that he was going to turn out to be the Judas that we know of in the New Testament.

I think that most world leaders when they take positions on the stage of history, they have no idea exactly knowing where they are going and I suppose that antichrist who I believe will arise in Europe is going to find a tremendous amount of support from people. He's going to be a peace candidate and that he just thinks that he is going to be the ruler of a certain territory, but as time develops and as he gains power, he becomes more evil and he might not know what the Bible says about the antichrist, and suddenly he's going to realize that he has tremendous power is going to desire, worship, and he will not know probably how it will all and thank you Pastor looks for that answer for Patricia's question. If you'd like to hear your question answered.

Go to our website@rtwoffer.com and click on ask Pastor Luther or call us at 1-888-218-9337 that's 1-898-218-9337 you can write to us have run into when 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614 running to win comes from the Moody Church in Chicago next time more on the blame game again at the very beginning and how to bring the cycle and find healing. Thanks for listening, Dr. Erwin loser this is Dave McAllister going to win is sponsored by the teacher


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