Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Winning in life's race means getting anger under control, as in not reacting impulsively when someone cuts you off in traffic. Today, we'll probe the source of the destructive emotion, and from the Bible, learn how to navigate the way out of habitual anger.
Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, we say people just snap before they commit heinous crimes, and today you'll be telling us about the roots of rage. You know, Dave, it has been often said that when you have a blowout of a tire, it's because there have been cracks in the rubber for a long time. I don't think that people just snap. I think that there is a lot going on inside of them that eventually simply comes out. And there are so many people who live today with abuse in their homes. This is a very critical message. And you know, my friend, it's because of people like you that messages like this have the opportunity to be spread far and wide.
Thousands upon thousands of people listen to the ministry of Running to Win. I want to thank the many of you who support this ministry. And if you'd be interested in becoming an endurance partner, that's somebody who stands with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts, here's what you do. Go to endurancepartners.org.
Or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337. And now let us go to the pulpit of Moody Church where we discuss the roots of rage. Bobby Knight was a basketball coach, quite famous actually, who was fired because of his hot temper. One of the columnists writing in a newspaper said that he worked himself into a competitive lather.
And because he was out of control, he was out of a job. Anger is a very common emotion. As a matter of fact, one of the things that unifies us is that we have all felt anger.
Could I say that if you have not been at some time angry, and I mean good and angry, you probably have never really lived because all of us have been angry. Let me begin by talking about some introductory comments about anger. First of all, not all anger is sin. When angry, do not sin, the Bible says in Ephesians 4. It's possible to be angry without sinning. It says in Mark chapter 3 that Jesus Christ looked about in the synagogue and when he saw the hardness of their hearts, he was livid with anger.
Jesus was angry. God, the Bible says, is angry with the wicked every day, it says in the Psalms, so not all anger is sin. Yes, it is possible to be good and angry. Let me give you a second observation, and that is that anger, however, does distort our perceptions. You think of someone who in a fit of rage decides that because of a custody battle or whatever, he's going to kill his wife, and so he shoots her, and maybe he shoots the kids too, it happens all the time. Often think of those people waking up in prison every morning of their lives for the rest of their lives, regretting deeply what they've done in a moment of anger.
Let me tell you something, it's possible to do in a moment what an entire lifetime cannot recapture or recover. Let me say also that most anger is masked, it is unseen. There's an awful lot of anger that is beneath the surface. You know, you speak to those even who have been doing the massacres, I'm talking about the high school kids in our high schools in America, oftentimes the parents say, I didn't know that he was that angry because a lot of it is hidden. There was a man by the name of Mark Barton who killed his wife, I believe, and his children and several other people, and a neighbor said of him, he was such a good role model, it makes you wonder whether you know anyone anymore. And I tell you today that you have no idea of the anger that might be existing in the heart of someone who is sitting next to you.
Most of it is masked. Well, as you know, this is a series of messages titled, Why Good People Do Bad Things, and we've spoken about things such as, first of all, lost in a house of mirrors, how we have this challenge before us of finding out who we are and we're all going around looking for a mirror that makes us look good. And the whole question of identity lies at the heart of behavior. A second message was entitled, Deceived and Loving It, and I pointed out that we are not rationally driven, though we think we are. We are basically desire-driven. We are deceived because we want to be deceived.
Our heart longs to be deceived so it can do whatever it wants to do. Last time we spoke about shame, the two different kinds of shame and God's cure for shame, which lies at the root of many problems that people have. Well, today it's anger. It is anger.
And I need to begin by talking about domestic violence. Some of you may say, well, you know, that's not a big problem, especially among folks who are connected to Moody Church. We're all so nice, aren't we?
Yeah, aren't we? According to Everett Koop, who was the Surgeon General of the United States, it is the number one health problem. And did you realize that one-third of all women who come to emergency wards or doctor offices for immediate treatment come because of domestic violence. They have been abused.
They have been battered. Now, of course, it's very difficult to come up with a profile of an abuser, very difficult, because they're so nice. They're so charming. They can be so lovable.
They can be funny. And then suddenly, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, they suddenly switch, become violent and angry and irrational. And because of that, that's one reason why women marry men, not knowing that they are abusers until the honeymoon. There's such things as physical violence, slapping, pushing, hitting, choking. And then, of course, there is those verbal and emotional abuse that takes place among those who perhaps would never physically do violence. But emotionally, the damage is the same or greater. Cursing, threats, economic punishment.
How do you like that for a euphemism? Economic punishment. That's where the wife has to go to the husband for every dime that she gets. You come to me and I'll dish out the money.
And after I've done it, you'd better report to me on how you spent the last $5 I gave you. That's all anger that's masked. It's economic punishment, trying to humiliate her. Don't ever lose sight of the goal that an abuser has. It is to destabilize his wife so that she will keep it a secret, so that she will be taking total responsibility for it. Because, you see, in his mind, what he's saying is, you made me slap you. It's your fault.
So that she's going to take the responsibility and also so that if she goes for help, he so beats her down that she concludes that no one would believe her anyway. So I need to tell you this today, you wives. If you come to us as members of the pastoral staff, we will believe you. We will believe your story.
Whatever you do, get some help. Now, the question, of course, is this. What about anger? What does the Bible have to say about it? You know, the Bible is so accurate it's just incredible. As I open its pages, I'm always reminded this has to be a book from God. There is no other book that you can produce in the world that will tell the truth about us, like the Bible tells the truth about us.
It can shine a flashlight on the human heart and then we read it and we say, yes, that is true to my experience. Because there are two different kinds of anger and the Bible refers to both of them, in fact, even in one verse. Notice, for example, Ephesians chapter 4 and we shall begin there and then I shall ask you to turn to one other story in the Bible today. Ephesians chapter 4, it says in verse 30, and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness.
Now, notice it, everyone awake at this juncture. All bitterness rage. That's the Greek word thumos. Let me talk to you about that word rage. If there was an animal that would describe the word, it would be the pit bull. It's rage, you know, I just fly off the handle and I just let them have it and when I'm finished, you know, I'm finished but that's just the way I am. I put my fist through walls and sure I slapped her but that was just momentary and now everything's fine, isn't it?
What's the big deal? But the pit bull leaves an awful lot of damage behind and nothing is ever quite the same again. He may ask forgiveness but he's going to do it again when he asks forgiveness. Accept it as you might, the promise of an alcoholic will never drink again because the roots of rage, as we shall see today, go much deeper than simply a promise to reform. But that's the Greek word that is used here, thumos. It is rage and then notice another word is referred to, anger.
That's orge. Anger is resentment. Anger is the person who doesn't have any outward signs necessarily. He's not physically abusing but he loves to plot revenge. So what he does is he methodically, without any emotion, begins to figure out ways in which he can get by and get back and he is very insistent on revenge and so you never know what he's up to because he does it without any emotion.
If there'd be an animal that would represent him it would be the cobra. You assess the situation, you find out what you can do and then in a subtle way you squeeze them to death. Now the question is what are the roots of rage? What makes people out of control?
Why is it that you have people who are so nice, who adore their wives one moment and then lash out in anger in the next in an unpredictable way and unpredictability is very important to the abuser because he destabilizes his wife and keeps her off balance emotionally and spiritually and physically maybe as well. And when we look at the roots of rage, even those of us who aren't abusers, we need to look at our own hearts because at the end of the day we're going to find something in God's Word that is very applicable to us all. It's a promise. Let's begin the journey. Take your Bibles in turn to the book of Genesis where things got started. We've been in Genesis before in this series because if you understand the first few chapters of Genesis you will discover that you understand the roots of a lot of problems. Chapter four of Genesis and I'm going to pick up the text just what shall we say about in the middle of verse two I think it is. Genesis four verse two. Now Abel kept flocks and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock.
The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry and his face was downcast. The Hebrew word for anger basically is also related to the nostrils. It has to do with flaring, snorting anger. He is really, really upset. Then the Lord said to Cain, why are you angry?
Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right sin is crouching at your door and it desires to have you but you must master it. And then Cain said to his brother Abel, let's go out to the field and while they were in the field Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Pit bull rage. I'm going to show you what's going on. What is the root of rage? It is really rejection. A sense of being rejected, a sense of that you don't belong and that it's not merely that you have done wrong but somehow fundamentally you are wrong. You are of very little value.
So you can understand that since that lies at the heart of it we have such things as being belittled or diminished. It makes you so angry. A couple of days ago I was on the Kennedy Expressway driving along in the reversible lanes as they call them and when you get near the junction there some of you know the place where everybody who wants to go in one direction has to be in the right lane if you want to go on the Kennedy and then if you stay on the left it ends up being on the Edens. Well lots of cars are on the right side but some of those other folks they are smart you know. They aren't going to get at the back of the line. They're going to drive right up front and then try to get in ahead of you. And this car did that.
Hello? Oh I just I had all I could do to keep from just stepping on the gas and just ramming it. I didn't.
Why? What's the big deal? Do you know that his coming in ahead of me what are we talking about in terms of getting to where I was going?
30 seconds maybe to have one more car having to be processed on the expressway? No big deal. Where is it?
I'll tell you where it is. I'm diminished. What he's saying is I'm more important than you as a matter of fact I'm not beginning at the back of the line I can go right up here and I can go ahead of everybody because I'm so-and-so and I'm important and you're just you're just trash and I'm here. Well I don't know whether he was thinking that all that I know is I've done the same thing many times.
Isn't that amazing? It's called road rage. Who are you to get ahead of me? Now let's translate that into being a child and you're constantly belittled and you're diminished and you're marginalized and you're sidelined and anger begins to well up in your soul. There's rejection, there's belittling, powerlessness, the feeling that you can't change anything. Here's a child who's abused at home. He comes home and he knows that there's no way to predict whether he's going to be spanked because the simple fact is it doesn't matter.
Some days he won't be, some days he will be. If he's good he's whipped and if he's not good he's whipped. So that the sense of powerlessness, this injustice breeds deep resentment and anger. And then of course you have shame.
Those have been abused sexually or otherwise and last time and that's why it's so important to take the message that we preached last time and shove it in right here. If you come from a shame-based home you'll have a lot of resentment and anger. A lot of anger is nothing more than, it's nothing more than a mask for the hidden shame that has not been dealt with.
Well in a moment we're going to be talking about how to take care of it. You know I think of myself I was brought up in a very fine home with all the affirmation and the sense of respect and love. And yet when I was growing up I had a real terrible temper and I often thought to myself you know if I had been brought up in a home where you have all of that cauldron that we sometimes refer to as dysfunctional homes who knows the things that you and I or others may be capable of doing. Well before we get to the cure very quickly what are some of the consequences of unresolved anger? Let's suppose you just let it be there.
Let me give you some. First of all you might blow up to your detriment. You might just blow up and do drastic things.
It happens all the time. The pit bull who says I'm not going to take it anymore and you blow up you let it all hang out. You know years ago therapists in desperation the secular therapists not understanding the human heart from the standpoint of scripture trying to find an answer to anger used to say this well what you need to do is you need to just have an outlet for it. Take this pillow pretend this pillow is your mother-in-law and then do to it whatever you want mangle it hit it with a baseball bat and you'll get all that anger out of you.
Utter nonsense. It will only inflame the anger. It will only bring the anger to the surface. It will not deal with the root. In fact most people now agree that that is the case and they could have saved themselves an awful lot of grief if they'd have understood right from the beginning that that's not the way to deal with it.
So you can blow up. If you're a man that's likely to happen. If you're a woman more likely that you clam up and you become what is known as passive aggressive.
Passive aggressive and of course men can be this too but passive aggressive is kind of where you procrastinate where you are stubborn where you are obstinate and all the while being actually quite nice because especially if you're a Christian woman. Example you're angry at your husband on Saturday you wake up Sunday morning you're still angry at him. So what you decide to do is to take your time getting ready for church and just let the goon wait out in the car okay. Now especially if you know that he is compulsive about being on time just take your time be late and you get in the car and you've even got a Christian smile on.
He is seething let's use the Old Testament Hebrew word he is snorting with anger and you gently remind him that anger is sin and that he should not be acting this way especially since we're on our way to church where we're going to worship God. Your heart of hearts you know right well what you did. Most women who live with men know all the buttons they can push. They know every one that can really get his goat.
Someone said one time how do you get a policeman's goat you steal his billy I guess. So this is what happens this is what happens in those marriage relationships you can blow up you can clam up you'll have difficulty in relationships. This is so important that as you know another message on this series is devoted simply to your father and your relationship with him because that impacts who we are and how we respond to various situations and later on also we're going to be discussing what it really means for a person to turn evil. What about these controlling people that cross the line but there will be difficulty in relationships if you don't deal with anger because you're going to have lack of trust. Those of you women who have been abused by men you are going to in general have an attitude about all men that is going to be negative. Any relationship that develops is always going to be disruptive.
You'll always keep putting the bar higher no matter what the man wants to do to show that he loves you it'll never be enough because the rules of the game will change and on and on it goes. You see regarding people who have been abused they have been sinned against and then they also in response sin. They are both victims of sin and then become agents of sin but we don't want to have that happen do we and that's why we're talking now about the cure. Before I mention that however let me remind you that God does deliver people from anger.
God delivers his people from the roots of rage and we're going to talk about that now. Hello my friend this is Pastor Luther and I certainly hope that you continue to listen to the ministry of Running to Win because next time we're going to get to the cure. As a matter of fact I would encourage you to call someone ask them to listen to this ministry. We intend to help people make it all the way to the finish line and we're so thankful for the many of you who stand with us. You know that Running to Win is not the ministry of a person it's not the ministry of a church or an organization. I want you to see that it is your ministry.
Many of you hold our hands so to speak. You become a part of the Running to Win family and we are deeply grateful. There are many of you who make a monthly gift and if you might be interested in doing that here's what you can do go to endurancepartners.org that's endurancepartners.org or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Thanks in advance for standing with us because as you frequently hear me say together we are making a difference and thanks to our endurance partners and those of you who are interested in that possibility let me give you that contact information again endurancepartners.org of course endurance partners is all one word or if you prefer call us at 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard Chicago Illinois 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. Some people think you can get rid of anger by hitting something inanimate and letting off steam. Trouble is this doesn't work. Next time on Running to Win more on the root causes of anger such as past abuse and why pop psychology is helpless to address the real issues involved. For Dr. Erwin Lutzer this is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.
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