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January 15, 2021 1:00 am
We’ve all seen people out of control with anger. They drive dangerously. They start fights. But where does this rage come from? Winning in life’s race means getting anger under control, including when someone cuts you off in traffic. In this message we probe the source of a destructive rage.Click here to listen (Duration 25:02)
One reason for us to ponder women in life's race means giving anger under control as an when someone cuts you off in traffic today probe the source of the destructive emotion and from the Bible, learn how to navigate the way out of habitual anger from the movie church in Chicago. This is Sir who's clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Esther leads her. We say people just snap before they commit heinous crimes and today will be telling us about the roots of Ray Dave has been often said that when you have a blow out of the tire. It's because there been cracks in the rubber for a long time.
I don't think that people just snap. I think that there is a lot going on inside of them that eventually simply comes out and there's so many people who live today with abuse in their homes. This is a very critical message and you know my friend. It's because of people like you that messages like this have the opportunity to be spread far and wide. Thousands upon thousands of people listen to the ministry of running to win. I want to thank the many of you who support this ministry and if you'd be interested in becoming an endurance partner that somebody stands with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts.
Here's what you do go to endurance partners.org or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337 and now let us go to the pulpit of Moody church where we discussed the roots of rage Bobby Knight as a basketball coach. Quite famous actually. Who was fired because of his hot temper.
One of the colonists writing in a newspaper said that he worked himself into a come tentative lather and because he was out of control.
He was out of a job. Anger is a very common emotion as a matter of fact, one of the things that unifies us is that we have all felt anger but I say that if you have not been at some time angry and I mean good and you probably have never really lived because all of us have been angry. Let me begin by talking about some introductory comments about anger.
First of all, not all anger is sin when angry, do not sin. The Bible says in Ephesians 4, it's possible to be angry without sinning says in Mark chapter 3 that Jesus Christ looked about in the synagogue and when he saw the hardness of their hearts. He was livid with anger. Jesus was angry on the Bible says is angry with the wicked every day.
It says in the Psalm, so not all anger is sin. Yes, it is possible to be good and angry give you a second observation and that is that anger however does distort our perceptions you think of someone who, in a fit of rage decides that because of a custody battle or whatever is going to kill his wife and so he shoots and maybe shoots the kids to happens all the time often think of those people waking up in prison every morning of their lives for the rest of their lives regretting deeply what they've done in a moment of anger. Let me tell you something. It's possible to do in a moment what an entire lifetime cannot recapture or recover. Let me say also that 10 most anger is masked.
It is unseen is an awful lot of anger that is beneath the surface. You know you speak to those even who have been doing the massacres. I'm trying about the high school kids in our high schools in America.
Oftentimes the parents say I didn't know that he was that angry because a lot of it is hidden there was a man by the name of Mark Barton who killed his wife. I believe in his children and several other people and a neighbor said of him. He was such a good role model. It makes you wonder whether you know anyone anymore.
I tell you today that you have no idea of the anger that might be existing in the heart of someone who is sitting next to you most of it is masked.
Well as you know this is a series of messages titled why good people do bad thing, and we've spoken about things such as that first of all lost in a house of mirrors. How we had this challenge before us of finding out who we are and were all going around looking for a mirror that makes us look good. The whole question of identity lies at the heart of behavior.
Second message was entitled, deceived and loving it and I pointed out that we are not rationally driven though we think we are. We are basically desired driven we are deceived because we want to be deceived. Our heart longs to be deceived, so it can do whatever it wants to do.
Last time we spoke about shame two different kinds of shame and God skewer for shame, which lies at the root of many problems that people have well today it's anger. It is anger and I need to begin by talking about domestic violence. Some of you may say well you know that's not a big problem, especially among folks who are connected to Moody church were also nice archway yeah archway. According to Everett Cooper who was the Surgeon General of the United States. It is the number one health problem and did you realize that one third of all women who come to emergency wards are dock offices for immediate treatment, because of domestic violence.
They have been abused that they have been battered. Now, of course, it's very difficult to come up with a profile of an abuser very difficult because they're so nice there's so charming they can be so lovable they can be funny and then suddenly Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They they suddenly switch become violent and angry and irrational, and because of that.
That's one reason why women marry man not knowing that they are abusers on till the honeymoon there.
Such things as physical violence, slapping, pushing, hitting, choking, and then of course there is those verbal and emotional abuse that takes place among those who perhaps would never physically do violence, but emotionally. The damage is the same or greater cursing threats economic punishment like that for a euphemism economic punishment. That's where the wife has to go to the husband for every dying that that she gets you come to me and all dish out the money. And after I've done it, you'd better report to me on how you spent the last five dollars I gave you that's all anger that's masked its economic punishment trying to humiliate her. Don't ever lose sight of the goal that an abuser has it is to destabilize his wife so that she will keep it a secret so that she will be taking total responsibility for it because you see in his mind what he saying is you made me slap you. It's your fault so that she's going to take the responsibility and also so that if she goes for help he so beats her down but she concludes that no one would believe her anyway so I need to tell you this today, you wives if you come to us as members of the pastoral staff.
We will believe you. We will believe your story whatever you do get some help. Now the question of course is this one about anger. What does the Bible have to say about it. You know the Bible is so accurate is just incredible. As I open its pages. I'm always reminded this has to be a book from God. There is no other book that you can produce in the world that will tell the truth about us like the Bible tells the truth about us. It can shine a flashlight on the human heart. And then we read it and we say yes that is true to my experience because there are two different kinds of anger and the Bible refers to both of them. In fact, even in one verse notice, for example in Ephesians chapter 4, and we shall begin there. And then I shall ask you to turn to.
One other story in the Bible today. Ephesians chapter 4 it says in verse 30 and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of old bitterness.
Now notice that everyone awake at this juncture, old bitterness, rage, that's the Greek word Thomas, let me talk to about that word rage if there was an animal that would describe the word.
It would be the pit bull it's rage you know I just fly off the handle and I just let him have it and when I'm finished, you know, I'm finished, but that is just the way I am. I put my fist through walls and sure. I slapped her, but that was just momentary.
Now, everything's fine.
Is that what's what's the big deal, but the pitbull leaves an awful lot of damage behind and nothing is ever quite the same again. He may ask forgiveness but he's going to do it again when he asks forgiveness accepted as you might, the promise of an alcoholic will never drink again because the roots of rage, as we shall see today much deeper than simply a promise to reform, but that's the Greek word that is used here. Thomas, it is rage and then notice another word is referred to anger that's or gay anger is that resentment, anger is the person who doesn't have any outward signs necessarily, is not physically abusing but he loves to plot revenge. So what he does is he he methodically without any emotion begins to figure out ways in which he can get by in and get back and he is very insistent on revenge and so you never know what he's up to, because he does it without any emotion.
If there'd be an animal that would represent him. It would be the cobra. You assess the situation you find out what you can do and then in a subtle way you squeeze them to death. Now the question is what are the roots of rage out what makes people out of control.
Why is it that you have people who are so nice would door their wives one moment and then lash out in anger.
In the next in an unpredictable way.
And unpredictability is very important to the abuser because he destabilizes his wife and keeps her off balance emotionally and spiritually and physically. Maybe as well and when we look at the roots of rage, even those of us who aren't abusers we need to look at our own hearts, because at the end of the day were going to find something in God's word that is very applicable to us all. It's a promise. Let's begin the journey. Take your Bibles and turn to the book of Genesis where things got started. We've been in Genesis before in this series because if you understand the first few chapters of Genesis, you will discover that you understand the roots of a lot of problems. Chapter 4 of Genesis and I'm going to pick up the text just what shall we say about in the middle of verse two. I think it is. Genesis 4 verse two. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry and his face was downcast. The Hebrew word for anger. Basically, he is also related to the nostrils, it has to do with flaring snorting anger. He is really really upset.
Then the Lord said to Cain, why are you angry. Why is your face downcast. If you do what is right, will you not be accepted. But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door and it desires to have you but you must master it and then Cain said to his brother Abel. Let's go out to the field and while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Pitbull rage I'm going to show you what's going on.
What is the root of rage is really rejection a sense of being rejected a sense of that. You don't belong and that it's not merely that you have done wrong, but somehow fundamentally you are wrong you are of very little value so you can understand that, since that lies at the heart of it. We have such things as being belittled or diminished. It makes you so angry couple of days ago is on the Kennedy Expressway driving along in the reversible lanes as they call them and when you get near the junction there. Some of you know the place where everybody who wants to go in one direction has to be in the right lane. If you want to go on the Kennedy and then if you stay on the left. It ends up being on the E as well. Lots of cars are on the right side but some of those other folks they are smart, you know they they they are going to get at the back of the line. They're going to drive right up front and then try to get in ahead of you and this car did that hello off. I just I had all I could do to keep from just stepping on the gas and just ramming.
I didn't why it's a big deal.
Do you know that his coming in ahead of me. When we talking about in terms of getting to where I was going 30 seconds maybe to have one more car have to having to be processed on the expressway. No big deal where where is it tell you where it is.
I'm finished what he saying is I more important than you.
As a matter fact I'm not beginning at the back of the line. I can go right up here, and I'm going for.
I had of everybody because I'm so-and-so and I am important in your just you're just trash and I'm here well I don't know whether he was thinking that all that I know is I've done the same thing many times in amazing it's cold road rage.
Who are you to get ahead of now, let's translate that into being a child.
You're constantly belittled in your diminished and your marginalized in your sidelined in anger begins to well up in yourself, third rejection there's belittling powerlessness, the feeling that you can't change anything. Here's a child is abused at home he comes home, and he knows that there's no way to predict whether he's going to be spanked because of the simple fact is it doesn't matter. Some days he won't be. Some days he will be if these goodies whipped and if he's not good he's whipsawed that the sense of powerlessness. This injustice breeds G resentment and anger and then of course you have shame. Those have been abused sexually or otherwise in last time and that's why it's so important to take the message that we preach last time and shove it in right here you come from the shame-based home will have a lot of resentment and anger. A lot of anger is nothing more than it's nothing more than a mask for the hidden shame that is not been dealt with. Well had a moment were going to be talking about how to take care of it. You know I think of myself. I was brought up in a very fine home with all the affirmation in the sense of respect and love it when I was growing up I had a real terrible temper. Malcolm thought to myself, you know if if I had been brought up in a home where you have all of that to cauldron that we sometimes referred to as dysfunctional home.
Who knows the things that you and I or others may be capable of doing what we before we get to the cure very quickly. What are some of the consequences of unresolved anger, but suppose you just let it be there.
Lemme give you some. First of all, you might blow up to your detriment might just blow up and do drastic things that happens all the time.
The pit bull who says I'm not going to take it anymore and you blow up you let it all hang out years ago. Therapists in desperation, the secular therapists not understanding the human heart. From the standpoint of Scripture trying to find an answer to anger used to say this what you need to do is you need to just to have an outlet for it. Take this pillow pretend this pillow is your mother-in-law and then due to it whatever you want, mangle it, hit it with a baseball bat and you'll get all that anger.
I would have you utter nonsense. It will only inflame the anger it will only bring the anger to the surface, it will not deal with the root. In fact, most people now agree that that is the case, and they could've saved themselves an awful lot of great if they'd of understood right from the beginning that that's not the way to deal with it so you can blow up there man that's likely to happen if you're a woman more likely that you clam up, and you become what is known as passive aggressive passive aggressive and of course men can be this to that passive-aggressive is kind of where you procrastinate where you are stubborn where you are obstinate and all the while being a actually quite quite nice because especially if you're a Christian woman example you're angry at your husband on Saturday. You wake up Sunday morning you're still angry at him so what you decide to do is to take your time getting ready for church and just let the goon wait out in the car, pay now, especially if you know that he is compulsive about being on time. Just take your time be late and you get in the car in. You've even got a Christian smile on. He is seething. Let's use the Old Testament Hebrew word he is snorting with anger and you gently remind them that anger is sin and that he should not be acting this way, especially since were on our way to church. Where were going to worship God in your heart of hearts you know right well what you did. Most women who live with men know all the buttons they can push everyone that can really get his goat. Someone said one time. How do you get a policeman's go to steal his Billy.
I guess so. So this is what happens. This is what happens in those marriage relationships. You can blow up. You can clam up, you'll have difficulty in relationships.
This is so important that as you know, another message on the series is devoted simply to your father and your relationship with him because that impacts who we are and how we respond to various situations and later on, also were going to be discussing what it really means for a person to turn evil. What about these controlling people that cross the line but there will be difficulty in relationships. If you don't deal with anger because you're gonna have lack of trust. Those of you women who have been abused by men you are going to in general have an attitude about old man that is going to be negative in a relationship that develops is always going to be disruptive.
You'll always keep putting the bar higher. No matter what the man wants to do to show that he loves you.
It'll never be enough because the rules of the game will change and on and on it goes to see regarding people who have been abused they have been sinned against. And they also in response. Sin, they are both victims of sin and that then become agents of sin. We do want to have that happen doing, and that's why we're talking now about the cure before I mention that whoever let me remind you that God does deliver people from anger. God delivers his people from the roots of rage and were going to talk about that now.
My friend, this is Pastor Luther and I certainly hope that you continue to listen to the ministry of running to win because next time were going to get to the cure. As a matter fact I would encourage you to call someone ask them to listen to this ministry, we intend to help people make it all the way to the finish line and were so thankful for the many of you who stand with those you know that running to win is not the ministry of a person. It's not the ministry of a church or an organization. I want you to see that it is your ministry. Many of you hold our hands so to speak, you become a part of the running to win family and we are deeply grateful. There many of you who make a monthly gift and if you might be interested in doing that.
Here's what you can do, go to endurance partners.org that's endurance partners.org or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337 thanks in advance for standing with us because, as you frequently hear me say together. We are making a difference.
And thanks to our endurance partners and those of you who are interested in that possibility. Let me give you that contact information again. Endurance partners.org of course endurance partners is all one word or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337 you can write to us at running to win 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614 running to win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. Some thing and get rid of anger hitting something inanimate and letting off steam. Trouble is, this doesn't work. Next time I'm running to win more of the root causes of anger such as past abuse and why psychology is hopeless to address the real issues involved. Dr. Erwin looked certain this is Dave McAllister running to win is sponsored by the Moody church