Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. We've all experienced the painful emotion of shame, either because we've done wrong or because wrongs have been done to us. Sadly, some homes are even based on shame. Today, we'll learn what this means and then look to the Bible to find God's cure for shame.
From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, as violence increases, is there a sense that many people are no longer feeling shame for what they do? Well, Dave, the answer to that question is absolutely. As a matter of fact, the Bible talks about those who have no shame when they should have shame, because shame is something that oftentimes results because of wrongdoing. Now, there is a false sense of shame, as you've already indicated, and we need to understand that as well. But at the end of the day, it's wonderful to know that Jesus shamed shame. On the cross, he endured it, and he has an answer for our deepest need. Well, my dear friend, I think all of us agree that 2020 was a very difficult year, wasn't it? And now, as we anticipate 2021, we don't know what it will hold either.
We have no idea all that God has planned for us. But I want you to hear my heart when I say that the ministry of Running to Win is totally committed to continue to get the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we do so in at least 20 different countries and through the internet, ultimately around the world. Would you consider becoming an Endurance Partner? That's somebody who stands with us regularly, monthly, in fact, with their giving and with their prayers. For more information, go to endurancepartners.org.
That's endurancepartners.org, or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Now let us open our Bibles again and consider shame and God's answer to this human need. This I find it almost difficult to get my mind around, to think that if I am ashamed of Christ, if I'm a businessman, and I do not tell any person that I belong to Jesus because of shame, because it's not popular to be a born-again Christian, that Jesus will be ashamed of me at least temporarily someday when I stand before him. Let me give you some of the consequences of unresolved shame, and then we're going to get to the answer. I want you to know today that my heart is filled with so much hope and so much faith that God has given me, that as a result of this message, that many of you are going to experience a sense of release and freedom from the binding power of shame. And I believe that the Bible is going to help us do that. But before we get to the cure, could I take out a moment and simply tell you some of the consequences of unresolved shame? And this is true of objective shame, things for which we have actually done, as well as the subjective shame that has been imposed upon us because of our upbringing or because of experiences where people have misused us and so forth.
Let me give you some of those consequences before we talk about the cure. First of all, possible paranoia. People are paranoid. Why are people paranoid?
The root cause is shame. You see, to a paranoid person, everyone out there is out to get them. Everybody there is really there to destroy them, to reveal them for who they are, and they are absolutely terrified. They are fearful.
Many of us, in order to protect a home, might put up an alarm system on the door or maybe even the windows are tied into the alarm system. The paranoid person, he sets all this stuff up already out on the lawn. Preferably, he'll build a wall with deep foundations and a high wall so that he can hide himself because those who are paranoid, for the most part, are absolutely incapable psychologically until they're delivered by God. They are incapable of taking personal responsibility and admitting to their own sins and their own failures. They are terrified. And that's why fear and shame are so closely connected. Adam said, I was fearful and I hid myself. They are terrified of the possibility of exposure.
And therefore, they develop incredible secrecy and a protective mechanism that is almost impossible to penetrate. Let me give you a second possibility, and that is a wrong form of perfectionism. Now, not all perfectionism is wrong. I had surgery some time ago, as some of you know, and I prayed, oh God, please make my doctor a perfectionist.
I wanted him to be a perfectionist. And there's nothing wrong. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right.
Not talking about that. I'm talking about a sense of judgmentalism, a sense of hyper criticism, often rooted in shame because the person has said, I was brought up in a shame-based home and I am never going to be shamed again. And as a result of that, I am going to build this protective system around me and everything is going to be done right.
And everyone around me is going to be expected to jump through the same hoops that I jumped through and it better be done right because if not, what do they fear? What others will think? The shame, the shame of what others think. One day I was speaking to a man whose wife — and we're not picking on the wives here, as you'll see. Men make a great deal more trouble in most homes than women ever do. But he was talking about his wife being so critical. You know that old line that says, if a man speaks in a forest and his wife isn't there to hear it, is he still wrong?
Don't clap right now. I said to him, was your wife brought up in a shame-based home? He said, what do you mean? Alcoholism, abuse, over-exaggerated discipline, a blaming home. Most of those things were true. He never saw the connection.
She's so fierce exposure. Everything has to be done right. And this is connected with anger, which we'll talk about next time as well. And as a result of that, unresolved shame. Some people, number three, become a doormat for others, a doormat for others. They've experienced so much shame. They believe that they have to be shamed. If somebody treats them well, they either resent it or else they put the bar a little higher so that the person cannot jump over all of the bars that they will put up so that everybody is guaranteed to fail them. You know, we don't have time for the others.
I have several others, but we must hurry on. What is God's eating disorders and the whole bit that I mentioned earlier? What is God's cure for shame? Do you remember in the book of Joshua, Israel had been in the desert for 40 years and they came to Gilgal, and Gilgal means circle in Hebrew, and they even talk there about the circle, the stones that were put up in Gilgal. And it's really symbolic of the fact that the shame, the reproach of Egypt and their failures was to be washed away.
I mean, they had a whole history of failures, a history of shame, 40 years of wandering in the desert. And God said, you can roll the shame of the past years away. And I want you to pray during the next few moments, even as you listen and pray that God will use the words that I'm going to share with you now as friend to friend to roll your shame away. And I speak to those of you who have been divorced.
God hates divorce. We do too, but it's a reality. And some of you still to this day still have a stigma of shame. I speak to those of you who've had abortions. There's a stigma of shame. I speak to those of you who have committed immorality and to those who are brought up in shame-based houses. I speak to those of you today who have that shell around you, that absolute total terror that you might be exposed.
And therefore, you struggle with the things that we're talking about. My goal in the next 10 minutes under the inspiration and power of the Spirit and His Word is to show you that you can be set free from shame. Two passages of scripture that I will only quote to you.
One is Hebrews chapter 6 verse 6. It says this, that if you come to Christ and then go back into Old Testament sacrifices, it says that you are crucifying to the Son of God. You're crucifying Him again and setting Him to an open shame. My translation, the NIV says disgrace, but really the word is shame.
Now, why is that? The crucifixion, my dear friend, was a terrible, terrible, terrible experience of shame. In fact, the cross was spoken of as the tree of shame.
Paul says, cursed is everyone who hangs upon the tree. Does shame cause the destruction of a person's reputation? Yes, he was despised and he was rejected of men. Does shame silence us? Yes, he was led as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he opened not his mouth. Does shame expose our obvious weaknesses? Yes, he was derided. He saved others.
Himself, he cannot save. Does shame lead to abandonment? Yes. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Does shame diminish people?
Yes, it diminishes people. He was crucified naked as the gawkers walked by. How did Jesus handle the shame?
How did He take it? There's a second text in the book of Hebrews, chapter 12. We look on to Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame. The NIV says, scorning it. What he was saying in effect is bring it on. Bring it on. Let me bear the shame of the world. Let me take the load of sin. Let me take the guilt.
Here I am. Crucify me. Shame.
Try to destroy me if you can. And what Jesus said as a result of his death and the subsequent resurrection is this, that he says to you and me, shame cannot permanently cripple. Shame cannot permanently destroy. Shame like death has the sting taken out of it.
There is a remedy and you need not be crippled by it. I like to put it this way. I think Jesus shamed. Shame. It's a shame on you. Shame. I'll bear the load.
And in the end, you'll have no authority over me. What do we do with our shame? Number one, our shame must be covered.
It must be covered. When David committed the twin sins of murder and then adultery, first of all, and then murder to cover it up. What a cover up. What a cover up. And yet David is famous for his sin.
The cover up simply did not work. Finally, when he came clean and he confessed his sin, he said in Psalm 32, blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven and whose sin is covered. When God sewed those skins together to clothe Adam and Eve, as I've already mentioned, it was a picture of the coming clothing of Jesus, his righteousness to cover the ugliness of our shame. It says in the book of Revelation, Jesus said, come, come and take my garments that the shame of your nakedness may not appear. There is a covering for the shame and that is the forgiveness of God.
It is the grace of God. The first is our shame must be covered. The second is our shame must be surrendered. Surrendered.
Because here's what some of you are thinking. You're saying, yes, I am forgiven in the sight of God to be sure. But what about if my friends find out there are things that maybe you have done that if the truth were known and these things were exposed, you would find so much shame. David struggled with that a terrible amount. You know, I was reading the Psalms this week, for example, in Psalm 25, twice he prays, oh God, let me not be ashamed. Let me not be ashamed. Over and over again he says, remember not the sins of my youth.
Let me not be ashamed. And yet he was ashamed as the truth came out. But the reason that David said that he could handle it is this. He knew that his sin had now been covered by God and forgiven by God and taken away by God. Therefore, whatever human beings could do to him, no matter how he disappointed them, no matter how ill they would think of him, at the end of the day, there was nothing that could be uncovered about his life that was not already known by God and forgiven by God. And therefore David said, I can go on.
I don't have to stop. Despite the shame, God walks with us through that shame. Our shame must be covered. Our shame must be surrendered. Our shame must be replaced.
It must be replaced. I think of the story of Tamar in the Old Testament who was raped, a terrible rape by her half-brother Amnon, and she put ashes on her head and she walked away in humiliation and shame. God says in Isaiah 61, I will take the ashes of humiliation and the ashes of shame and I will give you instead the beauty of a garland.
He says, I will take the oil of gladness and give it to you instead of mourning and I will give you the garments of praise instead of fainting. I'm going to give you something to substitute for that awful shame and it will be put away so that you can march on. Must be covered. It must be surrendered.
It must be replaced. I conclude with a story. I have a man who is a very good friend of mine. If you would have asked me 10 or 15 years ago, name the three top friends in the world, top three or four, I think that he would have been among them. It's just the kind of friendship, you know, that when you meet you don't have to try to even reestablish things.
You kind of take up where you let off and where you can just relax and you know that you're accepted. And he committed immorality and then in order to deal with the shame, he disappeared and actually went to another state and changed his name, trying to disappear off the face of the earth. About six months later, his identity was finally found out and shortly after that, I was making a trip to that state and made it a point to contact him. God used me as one of the first people to minister to this dear man who is living in such unbelievable shame that he seemed to be unable to face anyone he ever knew. I remember sitting at the table and he was talking and he said, just think of it this way, he says, think of an onion. He says, and you peel away one layer and then you peel away the other. He said, the opinion of people meant so much to me. He says, my board, my congregation, he said, everybody, they meant so much. And now I not only had disappointed all of them in this way, but also in trying to cover it up only increased my shame. He said that it was as if all the peelings of the onion were peeled away and there was absolutely nothing in the center, nothing.
I did not have one friend in the world. I was despised. I was spoken about. People said, how could he do it? We thought higher of him.
And it was just awful. He said, when I got up in the morning, my first question was, do I have the strength to take one step and then take another and then a third step? Can I get through till the evening? And then he began to understand God's forgiveness and God's grace, which he of course accepted. And slowly he asked himself the question, what do I do about my shame? Do I just live in isolation?
Do I just say no to all of my friends for the rest of my life? And he thought, no, you know, I'm not going to do that. If God has forgiven all of my deceit and my sin, if it is covered, I can surrender that shame to him and I can go back and rebuild bridges. And he did. He went to his parents, which was very difficult.
They were godly people. He went back to his friends because he said, I will not permanently be crippled by shame. I remember driving down a street with him and he said, I'm going to put in a favorite tape of mine.
And I said, go ahead, do it. And it was Dave Boyer singing, Calvary covers it all. And as that song began to come through the stereo system of his car, he pulled off on the side of the road. He was weeping too much and we just sat there and cried together. Calvary covers it all. My sin with its guilt and stain. We could say it's guilt, my guilt and shame.
My guilt and despair. Jesus took on him there. And Calvary covers it all.
Today, this man is being used of the Lord. You say, well, it's not the same though. Of course, it's not the same. It wasn't the same for Adam and Eve. They couldn't go back to paradise. There's no going back to the beginning. There are consequences here. But it's not the end of the road. Because remember the purpose of the cross is to repair the irreparable.
That's why Jesus died. Is to die for things that could never, ever quite be the same again. I say to those of you today who are, what shall I say? Your prisons of fear and your prisons of shame. Your prisons of insecurity.
You're absorbed by what people think about you because the possibility of being exposed. I say, come to the Savior. Your shame can be covered, can be surrendered and replaced with God's blessing. For the purpose of the cross is to repair the irreparable. Let's pray. Father, please deliver your people. Please, Father, send your blessed Holy Spirit into hearts that are locked, into hearts that are fearful, into hearts that refuse all possibility of responsibility for who they are and what they've done. We ask today, Father, that you will make us a people that don't have to be perfect, who admit our sins and weaknesses because we've all done those things of which we are really, really ashamed. And we ask today that you might bring about deliverance for all who have heard. And now before I close this prayer, would you talk to God? Would you lay that shame at the feet of Jesus?
You talk to him because he's talked to you. Father, don't let people go until you've healed them. We pray, Father, that in these quick moments that you, O God, by your blessed Spirit might bring deliverance. And if there is no deliverance yet, send these dear people home to seek you until they're free. And if you've never trusted Christ as Savior, the Bible says you can believe on him and be saved. Your sin and shame can be covered. In Jesus' name.
Amen. And my friend, this is Pastor Lutzer. If you're dealing with something in your past, especially something that affects other people, I would encourage you to go to your pastor or go to a reliable counselor and help them to know how you can process it.
Perhaps you have to be confronted by someone else or you have to confront them, whatever. God is there with you helping you to bring about emotional wholeness and to give you hope. I really mean that. And you know, we're so pleased here at the Ministry of Running to Win that we have so many people who stand with us regularly monthly with their prayers and their gifts. If you're interested in doing that, here's what you can do. Go to endurancepartners.org. That's endurancepartners.org. And in a moment, I'll give you a telephone number you can call, but let me thank you in advance for so many people who say, yes, we believe in this ministry.
And even as we are in a new year, we intend to become a part of it. You can call us at 1-888-218-9337. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. Ever wonder why some people flare up in anger at the least provocation? Winning in life's race means getting impulsive anger under control. Tomorrow, we'll probe the source of a destructive emotion. Don't miss Erwin Lutzer's message on the Roots of Rage. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.
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