Seventh Commandment: Keep Marriage Holy – Part 2

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Now, here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. God's Word with you every day on this Bible teaching program. On today's edition of Pathway to Victory, You shall not commit adultery.

Now, what I want to do today is four things. I want us to talk about the meaning of adultery. We're going to look at the progression of adultery, how it happens. Third, we're going to look at some biblical steps for the avoidance of adultery. And finally, I want to end on a note of hope, talking about the aftermath of adultery. Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor, Dr. Robert Jeffress. You know, few perils pose a greater threat to marriage than adultery.

What starts off as an innocent conversation can end up destroying a lifelong partnership. So how can we guard ourselves and our families against the temptation of moral compromise? Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress shares some practical steps for following the seventh commandment. Now, here's our Bible teacher to introduce today's message.

Dr. Jeffress. Thanks, David, and welcome again to Pathway to Victory. Before we resume our study of the Ten Commandments, I'd like to take a moment and invite you to join us for an unforgettable vacation experience.

The dates are May 5th through 16th, 2025. We would love to have you join us for the 12-day Pathway to Victory Journeys of Paul Mediterranean Cruise. Look, there are a lot of options for traveling to this part of the world, but there's only one way to experience the Mediterranean with your Christian values in mind. Pathway to Victory has prepared a full immersive tour for you that will deepen your faith and friendships. I guarantee that you'll come back home spiritually, physically, and emotionally refreshed.

Take a look at the wonderful itinerary and sign up today by going to ptv.org. Our study of God's Ten Commandments will conclude this Friday, and so I'm urging you to request the special resources while there's still time. For example, I've written a brand new book for the children and grandchildren in your life. It's called The Ten Commandments for Kids. In today's world, children are often taught to make up their own rules.

Is it any wonder why our children are confused? God gave us these 10 guardrails to keep us safe and to infuse civility in our country. Let me send you a copy of my new book, The Ten Commandments for Kids.

I'll do that today when you give a generous gift to support the growing ministry of Pathway to Victory. Most of us can imagine the devastating results that come with committing adultery. Yet, despite these warning signs, men and women continue to step outside the limits of their marriage covenant. Today we're going to look at the seventh commandment and discover what we can do to resist the temptations of adultery.

I titled my message, Keep Marriage Holy. First of all, let's talk about why it is that God talks about adultery and what is it He's exactly talking about. Adultery is, first of all, a crime against our own mate. Adultery is to break a covenant, a promise you've made to your wife or to your husband. A married person who has sex outside the marriage. That is what adultery is.

Well, how does it happen? Adultery, first of all, begins in the mind. In Matthew 5 28, Jesus said, but I say to you that everybody who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

What does he mean by that? He's saying if you think about something long enough, you'll end up doing it. And that's what lust is. It's not just glancing at somebody.

It is staring at somebody. It involves a mental undressing of that person, an imaginary sexual encounter with that person. And when you nurse that experience in your mind over and over again, we're all programmed in such a way that what we think about often enough, we end up doing. And that leads to the next step in the progression of adultery. It goes from mental adultery to physical adultery. And I can see from my own experience as a pastor how adultery can destroy a marriage. It destroys a family. It destroys a career. It destroys everything that is valuable to us. And that's why there's so many warnings about adultery. Solomon, he experienced the effects of adultery with his dad, King David, and the heartache it brought to David. He experienced it in his own life as well.

Just listen to some of these warnings. Proverbs 6 verses 25 and 26, do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids, for on account of a harlot, one is reduced to a loaf of bread and an adulterous hunts for the precious life. If you ever talk to anybody having to pay alimony or child support or having to divide their household, they'll tell you what it means to be reduced to a loaf of bread. Proverbs 6 verses 27 to 29, can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? This is something you can't play around with.

Can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes into his neighbor's wife. Whoever touches her will not go unpunished.

One more warning and a note of hope. Ecclesiastes 7 26, I discovered more bitter than death is the adulterous woman whose heart is snared and his nets and whose hands are chains, but one who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her. If you're a believer, adultery isn't inevitable. There is a way to escape from that sin, but you have to be intentional to do so.

How do you avoid the devastating sin of adultery? Solomon said the key is Proverbs 4 23. He wrote, watch over your heart with all diligence for out of your heart flow the issues, the springs of life. You have to understand in the Hebrew mind, the heart was not the center of emotion. To the Hebrews, the seat of emotion wasn't the heart, but the bowels, the intestines. That's where you felt things deeply. The heart was the center of thought. It was the mind. That's why Proverbs says, as a man thinks in his what? Heart. That's what we think with our heart.

So is he. So when Solomon says watch over your heart, he's not just talking about your affections, he's talking about your mind. That's where it all starts. I want to suggest today there are five centuries, five soldiers that you ought to employ to guard your heart, your mind to protect you from adultery.

First of all, your eyes. Make a covenant with your eyes. You remember in our series 18 minutes with Jesus, I said that adultery in the bed begins with adultery in the head.

But it really goes back farther than that. It actually begins not in the mind, it begins with the eyes. Matthew 5 28, Jesus said, I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. It's not just looking at another person, it's gazing at another person, staring at another person, thinking about them, performing a mental undressing of the other person, an imagined seduction and intercourse. That's what it means to lust after another person.

And do that long enough and often enough, it's going to result in a physical act of adultery. And that's why Job said in Job 31 verse one, I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a woman. To begin with a simple agreement he had, I am not going to look lustfully at another person. He's not saying he's not going to glance at another woman. You can't not do that. But you can refuse to gaze and involved in those lustful thoughts.

And by the way, the person doesn't have to be there in person. You can lust after somebody in your imagination. You can lust after somebody after looking at pornography or a movie or television. He said, I'm not going to allow my eyes to look continually at another woman. The second century, guard the place of your mind is to avoid compromising company. Avoid compromising company. Remember 1 Corinthians 15 33, do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals. Remember that bad company corrupts good morals. Do you remember my illustration of that?

Got it from somebody else, but it's a great illustration. If it's raining outside, you decide to go out and work in your flower bed and you put some white gloves on, what's going to happen? Your white gloves are going to get muddy, right? Never in a thousand years will the mud become more glovey. Doesn't work that way. The mud doesn't become glovey, but the glove becomes muddy.

It's the same way with hanging around centers. They rub off on you, especially immoral people, people who are engaged in adultery or fornication, people who talk about it, people who joke about it. I think that's what Paul has in mind. Bad company corrupts good morals. But may I extend that to say bad company for you may be somebody who's just a temptation to you.

There's something about them that attracts you to them. It may be somebody at work and you look for every excuse you can to go by that person's cubicle and talk with them or go to their office and so forth. If that's true for you, you need to find another path to the coffee room or the copying room.

Maybe it's somebody who lives in your neighborhood and you figure it out when it is they get home or when they're working out in the yard and you time your arrival and drive slowly by to get a look at them. Find another way home to your house from work. Don't go the same path. We need to avoid compromising situations.

Thirdly, be accountable for your time. That's another guard you can place around your mind, your heart. Proverbs 16 27 in the living bible says, idle hands are the devil's workshop.

Idle lips are his mouthpiece. You know the problem with spare time? It gives you time to listen to temptations and maybe even succumb to temptations. And by the way, that is why retirement can be so dangerous for people. Suddenly, they find all of this free time on their hands that they're not accountable for. And they engage with people they shouldn't be engaging with on social media. They're rekindling relationships with people they shouldn't.

And pretty soon, they give in to immorality. By the way, if you think I'm making that up, just look at what happened to David. Second Samuel chapter 11. It says, David, was at the height of his power as king of Israel. But instead of going out to fight with his men, he decided, I'm too high up the chain to do that any longer. I'm going to enjoy some rest and recreation, some leisure.

I'm going to kind of retire on the job, so to speak. And so while his men were out fighting, what was David doing? He was in his room looking across the way and seeing Bathsheba bathing on the rooftop. He exchanged one night of pleasure for a lifetime of misery.

Because of that one night, that one mistake, he endured a dead son, a disloyal son, and a divided kingdom, all because of that mistake. Make sure you are accountable for your time. Guard your heart by watching your time. Number four, here's another guard Solomon says to put around your heart. Have a fresh desire for your mate. Let me change that word, have, to cultivate. Cultivate a fresh desire for your mate. Now let me say a word to those of you who are married. It's true for everybody, but this is for those of you who married. Everybody has a desire for sexual stimulation and fulfillment. Everybody desires that.

God made us that way. But for those who are married, you have a choice of where you find that stimulation and fulfillment. You can either find it inside the marriage that God has given you or outside the marriage. Your body really doesn't care where you find it. We just had that drive, but you decide where you're going to fulfill it.

The word of God says, why not fulfill that desire for sex inside the safety, the security of the marriage relationship? Listen to what Solomon writes in Proverbs 5, 15 through 20. Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, strains of water in the streets, let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the life of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulterous and embrace the bosom of a foreigner?

That's God's wisdom. Think about your mate. There is something that drew you to that man or woman and caused you to marry them. Remind yourself of what that was.

Rekindle whatever that was and enjoy sexual stimulation and fulfillment the way God said to best do it, and that is in the marriage relationship. Number five, what guard can you place around your heart and your mind? Develop a healthy fear of God.

That's foundational. A fear of God. Proverbs 16, 6 says, by the fear of the Lord, one keeps away from evil. A fear of God is the best reason I know to say no to sin.

Now, by fear, Solomon isn't talking about cowering and being frightened like a child is, but it does mean to have a healthy respect for God, a respect for God, an awareness of God in everything that you do. You know, today we're hearing a lot of talk about being cautious about Big Brother. Big Brother, i.e. government, is making more and more inroads into our life. They're listening to our phone calls, reading our emails, tracking our expenditures, and everybody's afraid of Big Brother, and maybe rightly so.

But what people ought to really be afraid of is Big Daddy, not Big Brother, our Heavenly Father, because he has better surveillance equipment than any government does. He watches our every step, our every action, and if that were not enough, he's able to do something that government can't do. He can judge. He can see our own motivations. Proverbs 21, verse 2 says, God knows every motive. Proverbs 5, 21 says, for the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all of his paths. I've memorized that verse.

I think about it often. My ways are before God. He is watching them. And not only is he watching what I do, he's evaluating why I'm doing it. Proverbs 21, verse 2 says, the Lord weighs the hearts. Hebrews 4, 12 says, God's Word is able to judge the intentions of a person's heart. Never forget, God is always watching, he's always weighing, and he's always evaluating our every action.

That's why we should cease from sin. Now, we've talked about the meaning of adultery, the progression of adultery, the avoidance of adultery. Let me talk finally about the aftermath of adultery.

I realize I'm talking to many in this room, many watching this broadcast. Your lives have been touched by adultery. Is there any hope for a marriage that has been attacked by adultery?

Let me say, first of all, a word to the guilty. For those of you who are guilty of perpetrating adultery and introducing it into your family, is there any hope for you? The good news is, yes, God forgives all of our sin if we're willing to ask. Remember Colossians 2, verses 13 to 14, we looked at last week. Having forgiven us of all our transgressions. God doesn't just forgive the little sins, he forgives the big sins. He forgives all of our sins. And what did he do with our transgressions? He canceled out the certificate of debt. Remember that, the listing of all of our offenses, he canceled our certificate of debt, consisting of decrees against us, which were hostile to us.

He took it out of the way, having done what? Having nailed it to the cross of Jesus Christ. When Jesus said, Teitelestai, paid in full, he included your sin of adultery. Don't forget, with forgiveness comes a responsibility. Jesus said in John 8, 11 to the woman caught in adultery. He said, neither do I condemn you, but what? Go and sin no more. Yes, you can be forgiven. Let me say a word, secondly, to the innocent. Maybe I'm talking to somebody here who's been a victim of adultery. Your mate has betrayed you, a parent has betrayed you. What is your responsibility?

I know this is not popular. I know it goes against political correctness. In our victim-focused age in which we live, there's not anything wrong with that. We ought to be compassionate to victims.

But when we talk about victims, people are offended if you say the victim has a responsibility too. But if you're the victim of sexual sin, you do have a responsibility and obligation. Forgiveness is not an option for a Christian.

It's an obligation. Christians are obligated to forgive those who sin against them. Ephesians 4 32 says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Jesus said in Matthew 6, if you forgive others, my heavenly father will forgive you. If you do not forgive others, neither will my heavenly father forgive you. That's pretty clear, isn't it? We have a responsibility to forgive, given the great sin that God has forgiven us of.

But, hear this, if you're screaming inside, no, no, no, no, no. Remember, there's a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. When I forgive somebody, what I do is I give up my right to hurt them for hurting me. I say, God, you take it. You settle the score.

I want to be free to get on with my own life. When we refuse to forgive, we hurt ourselves much more than we hurt the one who hurt us. We're the ones holding that bitterness that destroys our life. We can forgive somebody whether they ask for the forgiveness or not, but it's impossible to be reconciled with somebody who doesn't repent and change.

You see what I'm saying? Forgiveness depends upon me. Reconciliation depends upon us. Forgiveness has no strings attached to it.

Reconciliation has many strings attached to it. Jesus was very clear in Matthew 5-32 and Matthew 19-9 that if you have a mate who has committed adultery, especially hard-hearted, unrepentant adultery, you have the option of divorcing. Jesus gave that exception for divorce.

But even though you've got the option to divorce, there's not a command to divorce. And if you have a mate who is truly repentant of their sin, they're willing to change, they're willing to go to biblical counseling, then reconciliation is always the preferred outcome, not only for your sake and your mate's sake, but for the sake of your children and grandchildren. But remember, it's conditional whether the reconciliation can happen. Forgiveness has no strings attached. Reconciliation has many strings attached. Is it possible for a marriage to survive adultery?

The good news is yes. One biblical writer says, Marriages torpedoed by affairs need not sink. They can be towed into dry dock, repaired and refitted.

And once refitted, they will sail farther and faster than at any previous time. And that's the power of God. Romans 8 28 says, God is able to cause all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose. The consequences of adultery are undeniably devastating.

But if two people are sincere and willing, God can mend any relationship. Well, thus far in our series, we've covered seven commandments, and there's only one more week remaining in this study. So if you've intended to get the corresponding book for this series, today's the time to act. My book is called The Ten, How to Live and Love in a World That Has Lost Its Way.

But that's not all because I've written a brand new book for the young person in your life as well. The new book is titled The Ten Commandments for Kids. In today's world, many people view these ten rules as obsolete and oppressive. Well, God intended to bless us, not oppress us, with the Ten Commandments. Abiding by these commandments keeps us safe, and the outcome of following them is true joy. In both of my books, the one for you and the one for your children, I'll show you the relevance of these guardrails that God has provided and how to honor them.

Both of my books will be sent to your home when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. In closing, let me encourage you with a note I received from a prison chaplain in Virginia. Timothy wrote and told me how he's using our resources in his personal life and with the prisoners he serves. And then he added, God is using Pathway to Victory to touch lives behind the razor wire. There are no boundaries beyond God's love.

Well, amen to that. Thank you for sharing your story, Timothy. And thank you, friends, as well, for making it possible for a prison chaplain in Virginia to receive encouragement through Pathway to Victory, along with so many others.

David? Thanks, Dr. Jeffress. The brand-new children's book by Dr. Jeffress, The Ten Commandments for Kids, is yours today when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. In addition, you'll receive a copy of the original best-selling book by Dr. Jeffress, The Ten, How to Live and Love in a World That Has Lost Its Way. Call 866-999-2965, or make your request online at ptv.org.

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But are there other more subtle ways in which people might be stealing? Hear an eye-opening message on the Eighth Commandment next time on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. You made it to the end of today's podcast from Pathway to Victory, and we're so glad you're here. Pathway to Victory relies on the generosity of loyal listeners like you to make this podcast possible. One of the most impactful ways you can give is by becoming a Pathway partner. Your monthly gift will empower Pathway to Victory to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and help others become rooted more firmly in His Word. To become a Pathway partner, go to ptv.org slash donate or follow the link in our show notes. We hope you've been blessed by today's podcast from Pathway to Victory.