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Now, here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Hi, this is Robert Jeffers, and I'm glad to study God's Word with you every day on this Bible teaching program on today's edition of Pathway to Victory. Let's face it, you're just like I am. Nobody enjoys criticism. And our first response to criticism is almost always going to be negative.
But folks, it's not our first response that really matters, it's our final response to criticism. Are we going to learn from it or are we going to run from it? Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor Dr. Robert Jefferson. How do you respond when someone offers their personal opinion?
Well, sometimes we get offended, but in reality, the unwanted feedback we get from others can have the potential to make us great. Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffers shares what Solomon said about receiving counsel, even when it's offered by someone we don't really like. But first, let's take a moment to hear some important ministry updates. Thank you, David, and welcome to Pathway to Victory.
You know, when we establish friendships, we tend to gravitate toward people who affirm us. But the true test of friendship happens when someone is willing to risk a relationship by pointing out the error of our way, even when it's awkward. I'm going to address this issue in today's message, and it's also one of the common conflicts that I've written about in my best-selling book titled The Solomon Secrets. I'm prepared to send a copy to your home when you include a generous gift to Pathway to Victory. This special offer ends this coming weekend, so please get in touch right away.
Oh, one more thing. Our church loves music. And today, if you've never gotten in touch with us before, I'm pleased to send you something we're quite proud of. It's called, In God We Trust. A set of two discs that feature the First Baptist Dallas choir and orchestra with 12 stirring songs of freedom and praise, plus a DVD that contains my teaching on America's Christian heritage.
In this historic 250th anniversary year, this is the perfect gift for every patriot who loves God and loves this country. And this set is my gift to you. Just by contacting us at ptv.org. I'll say more later in the program. But right now, let's get started with the message.
Here's the question: How do you respond when someone offers their personal opinion on your life?
Sometimes we get offended, but at times the criticism carries a measure of truth. For that reason, I've titled today's sermon with a humorous title, Listen to the Jerks in Your Life. Gina Sorrell's two-year affair with Roger Clements was the worst-kept secret in the Rush Creek Community Church. Gina had felt trapped in a loveless marriage with her husband Bill for longer than she cared to remember. Long ago, she had given up trying to compete with Bill's other mistress.
Seagate Technology Incorporated, the company Bill had started more than a decade ago. Bill's 70-hour plus work weeks gave Gina plenty of time to reflect on how miserable she was, as well as the freedom to pursue a relationship with Roger. A divorced father of two that she met in her small group Bible study that she attended, usually without her husband Bill. Ironically, it was the Bible study group that provided Gina with the needed alibi for her times with Roger. Since her husband rarely attended the Bible studies, Gina was able to claim that the discussion group had run over time, when in fact she may have never attended or left early.
Gina had worked out a cover story with her best friend Lisa. In case Bill ever called to check up on her, which he never had in the past two years. Lisa, who was also a member of Gina's Bible study. didn't approve of her friend's affair. But gave up trying to convince her otherwise when she realized she risked losing her best friend.
One Tuesday evening, as Gina was preparing to leave Roger's apartment and return home. She had an inclination to call Lisa, who was just leaving the Bible study. Anything I need to know? Gina asked. Lisa hesitated and then said, Bill called me on my cell phone looking for you.
What did you tell him? Gina asked. Lisa hesitated again. Gina, I'm sorry, but I could not stand here in the middle of a Bible study and lie for you. What you're doing is wrong.
Gina didn't even wait to say goodbye. Dazed by the realization that her affair was about to be uncovered and her entire world turned upside down, she raced out of Roger's apartment and jumped into her SUV. All the way home, she rehearsed different excuses she might offer her husband about her whereabouts. Which explains why she failed to notice the red light at a busy intersection. Three blocks from her home.
As Gina awakened in the hospital, all she could remember was barely seeing a car out of her eye racing toward her and then hearing the terrifying sound of the impact. The doctors told Gina and Bill that had it not been for the airbag, Gina would not have survived the crash. Few people had walked away from that kind of accident with only a broken arm and a minor concussion. Lisa wasn't sure how Gina would respond to a hospital visit, but she knew she had the obligation to go both as a friend and as a Christian. When she arrived in Gina's room, she said, Gina, I'm praying for your recovery.
I feel badly that I might have in some way been responsible for this accident. But I just didn't feel like I was doing you or anyone else a favor. by covering for you. I hope somehow God will use this accident. to bring some needed changes into your life.
You don't have to worry about that, Gina replied coolly. I've been thinking all day about the changes I'm going to make. This accident made me realize how short our lives are. too short to be unhappy forever. As soon as I get out of here, I'm going to divorce Bill.
so that I can be with Roger forever. Gina's story. illustrates in a negative way. One of the ten secrets for success that Solomon discusses in the book of Proverbs. And that is responding positively to the correction that God sends into our life.
Whether that correction comes for friends or even from enemies. or the jerks in our life.
Solomon, in the book of Proverbs, has a term for those corrections that God sends into our life. He calls them rebukes. our reproofs, our discipline. And over and over again, Solomon in the book of Proverbs says that a successful person is one who responds positively to the correction that God sends into his life. By way of definition, I want you to jot down what a reproof is because over and over again you find this word used in the book of Proverbs.
A reproof is an event that God brings into our life. To convict us of our sin and motivate us to turn from that sin. Let me say it again: a reproof is an event that God brings into our life to convict us of sin and to motivate us to turn from that sin.
Now, this event that God brings into our life can be a negative circumstance like an accident. The breakup of a marriage, the loss of a job, financial bankruptcy.
Sometimes the corrections God sends are through events.
Sometimes the correction comes through criticism from another person. But whether it is an event Or whether it's criticism, when these negative situations come into our life, we have a choice about how we can respond. We can either listen to the correction and make the needed changes, or we can resist the correction and keep on doing what we've been doing. In fact, when you look through the book of Proverbs, Solomon contrasts a wise response to reproofs from a foolish response to reproofs. A wise person listens to the reproofs of life and changes.
The foolish person is the one who resists the reproofs of life. Just jot down some of these proverbs that make that contrast. Proverbs 12:1. Whoever loves discipline, that's another word for rebuke. Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.
How many of you want to be stupid? The Bible says if you don't want to be stupid, you listen to the reproofs that come into your life. How many of you want to be poor the rest of your life? This is your life goal: to be as poor as you can be.
Well, if you don't want to be poor, listen to Proverbs 13:18. Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline. It's another word for reproof. But he who regards, that is, listens to reproof, will be honored. Proverbs 15, verses 31 and 32.
He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. But he who neglects discipline despises himself. He who listens to reproof acquires understanding. One more, Proverbs 29:1. Jot that down.
A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy. That is, the person who keeps resisting reproofs that come into his life time and time again, one time he'll resist it too often, and he will suddenly be destroyed. Reproofs are not negative. They can be positive. They can be life-giving.
They can be wisdom-giving. God sends reproofs in our life, not to hurt us, but to help us. And yet, in spite of all of the positive benefits of reproofs that come into our life. Most of us hate them. In fact, most of us have the same attitude about reproofs that we have.
Toward broccoli. I know it's good for me, but... It's the same way with reproofs. Nobody likes negative events coming into your life, nobody likes criticism. But we can learn and profit from criticism if we respond correctly.
If reproofs in life, negative events or criticism, if they are so helpful, Why is it we resist them? instantly. I think there are three reasons we are more likely to resist reproofs than respond correctly. One reason is because of pride. One reason we resist criticism that comes into our life is surely out of pride.
About 10 years ago, I had a minor reproof that came into my life. One of our television viewers, a pathway to victory, called the toll-free number. And said to the operator, You know, we really enjoy Dr. Jefferson's messages. But somebody has got to tell him.
He's got the worst who pay we have ever seen before. Of course, I don't wear a toupee, which made it especially painful.
Now I'll have to admit, confession is good for the soul. My initial response to that was not good. My initial response was: if that lady were more spiritual, she'd be concentrating on the message instead of how I wear my hair. But then I began to think about it. And so the next day, we had our staff meeting.
Everybody was seated around the conference table. I told the staff about this phone call. I said, How many of you? Think I need to change the way I wear my hair. Complete silence.
People looked down, started shuffling their feet. I said, no, honestly, nobody's going to get fired over this. How many of you think I need to change the way I wear my hair? Everybody raised their hand. It was unanimous.
First unanimous vote our staff had ever had. They all raised their hand. And I made some changes.
Now, the reason I did it was I didn't want to inhibit be a distraction to the message that I was preaching.
So I made those changes. We all have reproofs that come into our life. Look, let's face it, you're just like I am. Nobody enjoys criticism. And our first response to criticism is almost always going to be negative.
But, folks, it's not our first response that really matters, it's our final response to criticism. Are we going to learn from it or are we going to run from it? Now, Solomon understood the importance of listening to reproof rather than resisting it. And he probably understood it because of the reaction of his own son to a reproof that came into his life. Even though Solomon understood the benefits of reproofs, unfortunately, his son Rehoboam didn't understand.
Remember Rehoboam? Succeeded his father Solomon as the king of Israel. And remember, Israel was still a united kingdom. And when Rehoboam ascended the throne, A group of men came to visit the new king. And they said, Rehoboam, we loved your dad.
He was a wonderful king. He rebuilt the temple. He took our country to a new level. But we are worn out after his rule. After all those building programs, he worked us to death, he taxed us to death.
And if you want to gain the hearts of the people, just give us a rest for a little while. Let us catch our breath, and then we will follow you anywhere. They offered him some counsel. Raya Bullen thought it over. He visited with some other people.
And I want you to notice how he responded to this rebuke. It was light, but he responded to it in 1 Kings 12, verses 10 and 11.
Now, this is from the New Living Translation. This is how Rehoboam responded to the suggestion. He said, This is what you should tell those complainers. Notice he didn't call them Advisors, because they wanted to do something different than he did, they were complainers. This is what you should tell those complainers: My little finger is thicker than my father's waist.
If you think he is hard on you, just wait and see what I'll be like. Yes, my father was harsh on you, but I'll be even harsher. My father used whips on you, but I'll use scorpions.
Now how's that for winning friends and influencing people? Have you ever had a critic come into your life and you just tell him off, you unload on him, you feel great? For a little while. But the problem is your critic isn't through with you yet. And Rehoboam's advisors weren't through with him either.
The fact is, because he resisted the suggestion that came into his life, the people turned against him. There was a civil war that divided Israel forever. In fact, Rehoboam is remembered as the one who is responsible for tearing apart the nation of Israel, all because he responded in the wrong way to reproof. Listen to Proverbs 29, verse 23. A man's pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.
One reason we resist reproofs is out of pride. Another reason is kind of the other end of the spectrum, it's because of fear that we don't respond.
Now stay with me on this. The American Cancer Society spends millions of dollars a year trying to get people to go through basic cancer screening tests. Colonoscopy test. Prostate tests, different tests just of mammograms to screen for cancer. And yet, in spite of all of their efforts, Most people refuse to do the testing.
You know why most people don't go through testing like that? Why most people won't go to a doctor? They'll say, I'm afraid of what he'll discover. But talk about stupid. You think you don't want to go and have a test because you're afraid of what the doctor will discover?
It's not the test that causes illness. Tests simply reveal an illness that already exists. And it's the same way with reproofs that criticism that comes into your life and my life. Most of the time, criticism that comes into our life, it's not the cause of our problem. It's simply a symptom of a problem that already exists.
And a wise person views those criticisms just like he views a positive result on a cancer test. He realizes there's a problem and he makes the needed correction. But most people don't respond that way. In fact, an employee, after an unfavorable evaluation by an employer, what does he think? He thinks, oh no, he's trying to fire me.
He becomes fearful, and instead of making the needed changes to preserve his career, he is absolutely in a fog of fear that won't allow him to move at all. Whenever you respond to criticism with fear, it keeps you from making necessary changes that will bring success. That's why in Proverbs 29, verse 25, the writer says, The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. Anytime you allow your actions to be dictated by fear rather than faith, you're going to get tripped up. You're going to run into a snare.
Your supervisors Annual review of your work may reveal. that you need to spend more time. at your job. Your mate's complaint that there's distance, a growing distance in your relationship, may demand that you expend more effort in that relationship. Your child's struggles in life with addictions or wrong friends may reveal you need to put some more time in with your child.
A doctor's review of your health may reveal some much-needed changes you need to make in your eating and exercise habits. What I want you to understand is, making those changes. Does not cause you to experience what you fear most. It will prevent you from experiencing what you fear most. Whether that something is the loss of your job, the loss of your marriage, the loss of your child, or the loss of your health.
Reproofs are the way to save yourself from experiencing those things you fear most. A third reason people resist reproofs rather than responding to them. Is laziness. I don't know another way to say it. Just laziness.
Most of the time, when somebody criticizes us and signals that we need to make a change in our life, that change is going to require effort. And we all have a streak of laziness in us. And rather than exert that extra effort to make the needed change that will bring us success. We choose to ignore the reproof.
Solomon had a lot to say about that. In Proverbs 12:1, he writes: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. And we talked about the negative response. Three proofs. And that is to resist them, either out of pride or fear or laziness.
If we're gonna be successful in life, and that's what this series is about, how should we respond to correction that comes into our life, whether it's through negative events or whether it's through the criticism of other people? Let me give you four positive ways to respond to painful reproof in your life. And each one of these begins with an E. Number one, Expect reproof. Expect reproof.
Don't be surprised. when you're criticized. Just don't be surprised at it. We've been reading in the news about this Asiana airliner, the Triple Seven, that crashed upon landing at San Francisco International Airport. And the preliminary reports reveal that it was a pilot error.
But the pilot, for whatever reason, was distracted, wasn't paying attention to his instruments, and he came in too low and too slow and ended up crashing the plane.
Now I doubt that pilot awakened that morning and said, you know what I think I'll do today? I think I'll crash a jetliner. He didn't mean to do it. He simply made a mistake.
Now mark it down. Circle it. Remember it forever. You are going to make Mistakes, big mistakes in your life, okay? You're going to make them, I'm going to make them, all God's children are going to make mistakes.
And the reason we're going to make mistakes is we've got a virus inside each one of us. It's called the sin virus. That makes us inclined to make mistakes in our relationships, with our finances, in our moral lives. We all have this sin virus, Romans 5:12 tells us. It's not a question if we're going to mess up.
We are going to mess up. We are going to sin. And so, not only are we going to sin and make mistakes, we're going to experience the accompanying reproofs that come with our mistakes, whether it's negative events. Or whether it's negative words from other people. We shouldn't be surprised that that happens.
You know, what's interesting to me is. God understands our propensity to make mistakes sometimes better than we do. Psalm 103, verse 14. I love this verse. For God Himself knows our frame.
He is mindful that we are but dust. I mean, we're so surprised when we make a mistake. God's not surprised. He's surprised when we do anything right. Because he knows us.
He knows we were formed out of the dust of the ground. He knows we inherited that sin nature. He knows mistakes and the reproofs that come with them are inevitable. But even though mistakes are inevitable, understand this: they are also forgivable. That's why God sent Christ.
That's why we all need that amazing grace. That's why God sent Christ to die for us. Today, we're talking about responding to rebukes when we're headed in the wrong direction. And we'll continue with this important topic on tomorrow's program. In a moment, David will explain how you can receive the entire teaching series, including this message.
On CD and DVD. But first, I'm eager to remind you that time is running out to request your copy of the book that complements my teaching series. It's called The Solomon Secrets: 10 Keys to Extraordinary Success. In which I go much deeper into life issues like finding financial freedom, nurturing an intimate relationship with your mate, and advancing in your career. There are only a few more days remaining to this special time-limited offer, so be sure to contact us today.
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Here's David to tell you how to get in touch today. Today, when you give a generous gift to support the Ministry of Pathway to Victory, you're invited to request a copy of Dr. Jeffers' best-selling book, The Solomon Secrets. Here's our toll-free number, 866-999-2965. You can visit ptv.org or text ptv to 78800.
And when your gift is $75 or more, we'll also send you this month's teaching series, also called The Solomon Secrets, on DVD video and MP3 format audio disc. But time really is running out to take advantage of this offer, so please get in touch right away. One more time, call 866-999-2965. or make your request online at ptv.org. You can send your donation by mail right to PO Box 223-609-Dallas, Texas 75222.
That's B.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas. 75222. I'm David J. Mullins, inviting you to join us again next time when Dr.
Jeffers concludes his message called Listen to the Jerks in Your Life. That's Wednesday here on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. What if your next vacation changed the way you read your Bible forever?
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