From Exploitation to Exultation: Escaping the Sex Industry

Big cables home internet will put you through the stages of grief. Like denial. My introductory rate is over, but surely they won't raise the price.

Or anger. They've raised it! But with T-Mobile 5G Home Internet, you get our Price Lock Guarantee. So we won't raise your rate for internet ever. And it's just 50 bucks a month with auto pay and eligible payment method.

Check availability today. Price Lock exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Qualifying credit required. Regulatory fees included in $50 price for qualified accounts. Plus $5 per month without auto pay.

Debit or bank account required. Nissan's electric vehicles run on a special electricity. Not the electricity that turns on light bulbs or runs through your outlets.

I'm talking that spine tingling goose bump feeling that electrifies your body and soul. It could be the simple win of leaving on time for your morning commute or scoring the largest deal of your career. Nissan is continuously evolving and changing the game through electric vehicle engineering. Because the electricity of their cars not only moves engines, it also moves the emotions of those who drive them. To learn more about Nissan's electric vehicle lineup, visit www.NissanUSA.com.

Hey, this is Tanya Raad from the Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Raad podcast. You'll know real when you get it. It'll say eBay Authenticity Guarantee and you'll feel it.

Maybe it's a head-turning handbag, a watch that says it all, jewelry that makes you look like the gem, sneakers and streetwear so fresh every step feels fly. eBay gets it. So look for the blue checkmark next to the thing that you love and be confident that every inch, stitch, soul and logo is checked by experts. With eBay Authenticity Guarantee, you can trust that feeling of real is always in reach. Ensure your next purchase is the real deal.

Visit eBay.com for terms. This is Our American Stories and you're about to hear an incredible story of hope and redemption. Here's Madison to bring you the story.

You might think that it would be crazy that an intelligent, beautiful and driven girl would enter the sex industry. It might make a little more sense if we heard a bit about her childhood. I was raised in a pretty violent neighborhood and a really chaotic home.

In the neighborhood I grew up in, Domino's wouldn't deliver a pizza after dark and the police actually wouldn't even come to my house after dark. My mother and my stepdad had a very tumultuous relationship so there was a lot of screaming and fighting and yelling. I also was sexually abused throughout my life by multiple people, both men and women, and raped. I wrote my first suicide note when I was eight years old.

One of my first attempts was around 12 and I figured it was just a matter of like finding the right method. One of my abusers was my mother's boyfriend and at that time I was 13 and I finally started standing up for myself a little bit more and getting a little feisty and hormonal as teenagers do. So I actually ran away from home to get away from the situation. My mom called me and said, okay Harmony, you can come home.

It'll be fine. He's gone. He left. I came home and she actually followed him to Canada and left my brother and I with $20 and a book of food stamps. The food stamps and the $20 ran out very quickly and I remember I would buy tortillas and butter because it was the cheapest thing that I could get in my neighborhood. But once the money was gone I started stealing from the liquor store to support my brother and I. I remember every time I did it I felt really afraid that I was going to get caught and mostly because I was afraid of what would happen to my brother if I got arrested and where would he go.

So I would actually have him stand outside on the corner and just told him anything happens if anything goes wrong you just run home as fast as you can. And it was that summer that I became involved with an older boy in my neighborhood. He would come around and buy my brother and I food so that we didn't have to steal it and he would make me feel protected in the neighborhood I was in and tell me you know I've got your back I'll take care of you I'm looking out for you I'll protect you. And really that's all I ever wanted from a man was to feel protected and to feel provided for and so he kind of filled that void that I had. And what ended up happening is I formed a very deep attachment to him and I really developed this kind of idea that I couldn't survive without him.

And in some ways that summer I really did need him to survive but the relationship became physically and emotionally abusive. He was my exploiter and essentially my pimp. That relationship led me to working in the sex industry at the age of 19 as a stripper. And every night came home gave him all my money and he actually started using me to recruit other women from strip club to work for him as well and they were giving him him their money. And I remember my first night showing up to the shift at the strip club I walked up to the DJ booth and I'll never forget he said what's your name?

And I said Harmony and he turned around and started writing my name Harmony in dry erase on the whiteboard behind him because that's where they put the list of girls that were working that night. And seeing it in black and white like that really freaked me out and I remember saying take it down erase it I'll be Monique. And really from that moment developed this persona that was Monique and Monique wasn't a real person she was a lie and really it was a mask that helped me to deal and survive in that environment and separate what I was doing from who I am at least it felt that way. But she wasn't a real person she just was a compilation of other people's fantasies.

Monique was whoever the customer wanted Monique to be and the problem with that is that over time I really began to lose sight of who Harmony was. There's just really this stripping of who you are and the boundaries that you get to have as a human being. But you know it's one of the things I think creating an alter ego type thing that helps us as women who are in those situations cope and survive but it also perpetuates the lie because if a guy were to walk in the club and say hey do you like being here do you like what you do Monique would say yes of course I make great money and I get exercise and nobody cared about who Harmony was or my hopes and dreams and wants and needs and feelings because my job was to be what other people wanted me to be and to not have wants of my own. The thing is is that a lot of women up to 90 percent of us have a history of childhood sexual abuse those of us that end up in the commercial sex industry and that's not a coincidence.

When a person is victimized there's an experience of an extreme sense of powerlessness over your own body and in that moment being victimized in those moments you don't get to say what happens to you you don't get to have boundaries or stand up for yourself because you're powerless in those situations. My history of sexual abuse taught me to be comfortable with not having boundaries with my body and it also made me feel comfortable with being sexualized and objectified and those are pretty much job requirements and there was a little bit of a void in me that sometimes the customers filled as well. Even in the relationship I had with the exploiter it was all based on codependency and not having boundaries and I stayed. I stayed because I didn't think I was worth more and every negative thing he said about me actually just validated what I already believed to be true about myself and I stayed also because that's all I ever saw modeled in relationships was abuse and so it was normal to me and I honestly thought all men were like that.

There were times I would even think about leaving him but I would think what's the point because at least I know what sets him off at least I know what makes him tick and I can kind of manage and navigate this abusive situation but if I leave him who knows who I'm going to end up with. I was in complete denial and was just so so deceived and confused and hopeless and felt completely trapped. The big catalyst for change in my life began with a friendship. I met a girl and her friendship changed my life. She loved me unconditionally.

She never judged me. I found out that she was a Christian and I actually was surprised because I would have expected her to be maybe judgmental based on my experiences and the stories my mom told me about her being discriminated against by Christians growing up and you know she grew up on army bases and was the only non-Christian family there and the other children weren't allowed to play with her. So I grew up just thinking Christians are judgmental and not safe people so I was really surprised that this person was a Christian because she was so loving and kind and I just felt like I couldn't lie to her and so I was honest with her about the circumstances in my life. I did tell her I was a stripper and to my surprise that didn't push her away but also I appreciated that her friendship with me was not contingent on me going to church with her. She would take me to coffee and to ice cream and really just showed genuine care for me as a human being and it's because of that that I finally did feel safe enough and comfortable enough to go to church with her and church was the last place I wanted to go. I thought if there is a God and I am not convinced there is I didn't think he would want anything to do with someone like me but I eventually took her up on her offer after months and months and months and went to church and I just sensed that I was home and I really felt like I didn't know much but I knew that I wanted to be back there when the doors were open. Although Harmony was experiencing new beginnings the real change in her life did not occur overnight. I was still working at the strip club. I was still in the abusive relationship and one thing I appreciate about that friend is that she never said okay listen now that you're in church you need to stop cussing get off the pole break up with a boyfriend put on some clothes like here are the things you need to do to be a Christian.

She just really gave space for the Holy Spirit to do a work in my heart that eventually led to change in my life and I really needed that because if she had started to try to control my behavior then I really think it would have pushed me away but she understood that Christianity and faith in Jesus is not about behavior modification it's about heart transformation and that leads to life change. When we come back more of this remarkable story Harmony Dust Grillo's story here on Our American Stories. Tis the season of making the perfect wish list and the perfect playlist. Level up your listening and gift more than just a headphone this holiday with Bose QuietComfort Ultra Earbuds and headphones. Breakthrough Bose immersive audio uses rich spatialized sound to bring your fave holiday classics to life. World-class noise cancellation straps you in for a not so typical silent night and custom tune technology analyzes your ear shape adapting the audio performance so each whistle note hits higher and each sleigh bell rings even brighter than the last. It's everything music should make you feel taken to new holiday highs. It's more than just a present and it gifts like a party. So turn your ordinary moments into epic memories with the gift of sound. Visit Bose.com forward slash iHeart to say big on holiday cheer and shop sound that's more than just a present.

This is Ashley Iaconetti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. The holidays are here and it is time to unwrap a whole lot of love courtesy of Pandora jewelry. This year let's get into the spirit of giving with Pandora. They've got iconic symbols of festive fun and special surprises of timeless sparkle that'll light up your loved one's faces. Whether it's slipping on a Pandora charm bracelet before heading to work, choosing a pair of elegant earrings for a romantic dinner, or surprising a loved one with a meaningful birthstone necklace or a beautifully wrapped gift set, the brand seamlessly fits into every moment and every occasion. That's what makes Pandora the perfect gift. Listen the holiday season is all about creating memories right? Well with hand-finished jewelry and customizable pieces from Pandora you'll give your friends and family timeless gifts that they'll treasure forever. Love is at the top of every wish list so why wait?

Shop Pandora jewelry today and make this holiday season sparkle. Hey there check out this news from Boost Infinite. You can now get the latest iPhone every year and unlimited wireless for just $60 a month. This includes the new iPhone 15 Pro.

Now just think about that. You get the latest iPhone not just this year, every year. The earth goes around the sun you get the latest iPhone and unlimited wireless from Boost Infinite and free candy. No, no free candy but you know those people who always have the latest tech gizmo before everyone else now you could be one of those people without even trying. And when people ask you is that the latest iPhone you could just be all cool about it and say oh yeah I mean I get the latest one every year you know that's just how I roll. That can be you with Boost Infinite infinitely better. To learn more visit BoostInfinite.com that's BoostInfinite.com.

Terms apply after 30 gigabytes service may be slowed receive a comparable iPhone model each year with an acceptable trade-in every year requires credit qualification and 36-month phone financing agreement and we return to our American stories and the story of Harmony Dust Grillo and here again is Madison to continue with this remarkable story. After finding a church home where she felt accepted Harmony finally decided it was time to end her abusive relationship with her exploiter and one day she built up the courage to try and get her car back from him. He had been driving it and keeping it from her for a while. She asked the youth pastor at her new church if he would come along with her.

The youth pastor had no idea what he was getting into. I just said hey can you come help me get my car back from my boyfriend and he was like oh sure and we pull up and you know it's not a good neighborhood and the youth pastor's kind of looking around like what is going on and my ex-boyfriend he's like what are you doing here I said I'm here to get my car back and he grabbed me and he said no you're not and he threw me against the car and then he said I'm gonna go upstairs and I'm gonna get my gat and I'm gonna kill you gat meaning his gun and he's gonna kill me and to me this whole interaction was very normal the youth pastor was freaking out so I'm standing there like I need to get my car back and the youth pastor's like we need to go and so finally convinced me to get in the car and leave and he called the police and I'll never forget there was a female officer and she said here I want you to take this and she was handing me a domestic violence brochure and I said I don't need that and she was like I want you to take this and I said I don't need that and she set it down on my coffee table and I remember when she left I picked that brochure up and I had been in a seven year long abusive relationship but it wasn't until that moment that I really realized that it was an abusive relationship because I was in such a deep level of denial you know you see the billboards of domestic violence victims and they all have black eyes and I'm like he never hits me in the face and I've never had a black eye and therefore this is not domestic violence but it wasn't until that moment that I really realized and I just lived in denial all of those years about it I didn't see him as my exploiter I didn't see him as a pimp I saw him as the love of my life crazy enough basically all of that left me with this very strong desire to feel a sense of safety that I never had and so my life did change and it was from that place of just revelation and so I remember for weeks on end I'm hearing the pastor talk about the fact that I was created with a purpose and I remember being in the strip club one night and looking around and realizing if I was truly created with a purpose this cannot be it so it was from that kind of place that I was able to walk away from the industry and walk away from the boyfriend and just really began on this healing journey part of that journey was facing her past harmony encountered many troubled people while working at the strip club but along the way she happened to meet one man who was different a man in his 80s who seemed to be just as lonely as she was he was super sweet very respectful and gentlemanly man in fact you know he would pay for table dances and that sort of thing but honestly that's not why he was there he was there really mostly for conversation in fact sometimes when I would dance he I watched him avert his eyes and he just was more interested in resuming whatever conversation we had and he was a widow his wife died and they had been married almost 50 years and he missed her terribly and he would come into the club it started out one night a week two nights a week by the end it was like three or four nights a week and you know spend a few hundred dollars each time just for my company and and I remember thinking if I had met him under different circumstances he was such a sweet and kind man that what would it look like if he and my grandmother could offer each other companionship when I finally quit stripping he was really the only person that I felt not that I owed an explanation to but I didn't want to just disappear I wanted to let him know what was happening and that I was I was leaving because I know that our relationship however odd and strange it was was a big part of his life and I called his house someone else answered the phone I ended up finding out that he was in the hospital that in that period of time that I quit he just so happened to have a heart attack and so I decided to go and visit him in the hospital to say a proper goodbye I kind of felt like it was the right thing to do he was not well I could tell he was not well and you know I sat with him and I told him that I was leaving the industry and he was like good for you sweetie and he was really supportive and kind and I didn't know what I could give him but I just offered to pray with him and at the end of the day he wanted to have a relationship with Jesus so I was able to pray with him that day and say an official goodbye and it's not like I experienced that a lot with the men where I experienced them as just really kind people but with him it was different eventually I got to a point where I realized that all the pain that I had gone through that there could be purpose in it and that it wasn't just about me and I found myself sitting across the street from the strip club where I used to work and was praying for the women and then realized like okay it's great to pray but I have to do something because there are women in there that are feeling as trapped as I did and so I started writing handwritten notes to give to them to put on their cars because I knew where they parked the very first note that I left on the car of a woman at the strip club where I used to work said something to the effect of hi my name is Harmony I used to work here too and I just want to let you know that you're not alone and there's a place for you and then it was really in that moment that the whole vision of Treasures was birthed. Treasures is an outreach group that supports women who are working in the sex industry that meets these women where they are and helps to provide them with a way out if they want it. This effort is led by women who were previously in the same situation.

So that's what I've been doing for the past 15 years. It's just amazing because all of that is a result of me being willing to let God use my story and the pain from my past to reach and help other people. Over the years Harmony has written a lot of cards. One response came from a woman who had had many doors shut in her face. She asked Harmony for guidance and where she should turn next. I encouraged her to connect with the local church because that was a really positive experience for me and I naively hoped and thought that it would be the same for her to get some community wrapped around her and she showed up at the church and she you know went to the altar to get prayer and it happened to be the pastor's wife and she told the pastor's wife you know I'm a single mom I've been working as a prostitute she had been trafficked but was now an adult who was working on her own as a prostitute and the pastor's wife said I really wish you weren't telling me this this is making me very uncomfortable and she was really giving the benefit of the doubt to the church so she actually went to the church with her child the next week and when she showed up to check her child into children's ministry they said you and your child are not welcome here. If the pastor's wife or anyone in that congregation truly understood the kind of situation that led her into those circumstances they could have responded with compassion and maybe been more helpful and so I'm really passionate about training and educating and equipping people so that they can respond in ways that are helpful and loving and kind and we have seen some incredible stories and I really am at a place in my life where I never want to go through all the things that I've been through again ever ever I never want to be abused again I never want to experience all that trauma again but what I can confidently say is that I wouldn't trade any of it for the person that I've become in the process all things really can work together for good if we let them if we're willing to surrender to that process so I got to a point where I realized that all the pain that I had gone through that there could be purpose in it and great job to Madison for bringing us that story and to learn more about what Harmony and her team do at Treasures visit iamatreasure.com all the pain I'd gone through there was a purpose in it she said it isn't all about me a beautiful story about love redemption about God and faith Harmony Dust Grillo's story here on Our American Stories Introducing Uber Teen Accounts an Uber account for your teen with always on enhanced safety features your teen can request a ride when you can't take them you'll get real-time notifications along the way your teen can feel a sense of independence you can follow their entire route on a live tracking map your teen will get assigned the top-rated drivers thank you you will get peace of mind add your team to your Uber account today available in select locations see upper details crypto is like finance but on your terms trade at 5 a.m on holidays or whenever you want crack it see what crypto can be non-investment advice crypto trading involves risk of loss crypto currency services are provided to U.S. and U.S. territory customers by Payword Ventures Inc. DBA Krakken hey hey it's Malcolm Gladwell host of Revisionist History eBay Motors is here for the ride your elbow grease fresh installs and a whole lot of love transformed a hundred thousand miles and a body full of rust into a drive entirely its own brake kits led headlights whatever you need eBay Motors has it and with eBay Guaranteed Fit it's guaranteed to fit your ride the first time every time or your money back plus at these prices you're burning rubber not cash keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com eligible items only exclusions apply