Breaking New Year's Resolutions

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Here's our hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black eye and a white guy. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah.

Glory to his name, Roy. We are in 2021. How about that? You know, you can tell I'm just getting started. What year is this again? Let me remind you.

It's 2021. Our producers are laughing at me. They're sitting here talking to you about what we're getting ready to talk about, and you're already ready to start the show. Well, good for you, Will. I'm glad you're ready to go. See, that's because one of us is paying attention, Roy. That's right.

Well, folks, trust me, it's not because too many party favors. We're having a problem here. I'm just getting my paperwork organized. Hey, it's great to see you, Will. Always good to be back. Keith, good to have you.

Thank you for all that you do for us. Absolutely. So what's going on, Will? Well, you know, Roy, with 2021, people have a tendency to do these things that we call make resolutions. Resolutions.

I laugh because I've done it myself. So, you know, I'm not being here sitting here being facetious or nothing like that. It's just because I know in times past, resolutions that I've made more than likely I have not kept. And there's various and sundry reasons behind that.

And so that's something we want to talk about today. Yeah. And I think part of the problem is it's the plural side of it. Maybe should just be one resolution instead of resolutions.

Yeah. But it might help some people get more successful at what they're trying to set out to do. And I think a lot of people do that. They say if I make more than one, if I drop two and keep one, you know, then at least I'm ahead by one. Then they keep all three of them. But so they can't meet one.

Exactly. But the top five reasons, though, that people make resolutions and I know there's a ton of listeners out there who are listening and they all know the number one reason why they make resolutions. And we can all say it together, audience.

One, two, three. Lose weight and eat. Change your eating habits. So I know some of you out there were saying it with me.

You know, others, you were like, we don't know if you want to say that because we know we hadn't kept it. Well, at least the listeners in the U.S., those abroad may be saying lose weight. We have a very healthy diet and they really do. But the Americans we know are extremely overeaters. We are extremely overweight and extreme overeaters.

We are. But lose weight, exercise, dieting, eating healthy, you know, all of these things is the number one reason why people do that. And so as we go through these things, we're going to simply explain why people can't keep them. Yeah, that's a good point. And as I think as people are listening to us, they've all got their reasons, right?

And there's always a reason why. And then one of the things that we're jokingly talking about, I think they put too many things out there they're going to try to change. And that's true. It needs to be a step change one thing at a time, or maybe two if it's if they compliment each other in terms of what you're trying to accomplish. And make small changes.

Yes. Don't try to do the giant leap, you know, for mankind. For mankind or yourself, just take small changes, baby steps. And we can be more successful when we see small changes, because of course, small changes lead to big results. That's right. And people get a sense of accomplishment if they're hitting those little small milestones, and then those lead into the large ones. So good point. Exactly. So you talked about the top five resolutions people make.

You started with the first one, lose weight. We're going to give them to you. And then we're going to come back and chat about them real quick. But second is get into out of a relationship. And you know that that one right there, we have people doing that, even though it's not the first of the year, or resolution for that matter, because they're looking for ways, you know, to just to just get out or into a relationship because of whatever reasons. But yeah, go ahead.

We'll come back to that one for sure. Improve on money management. Yeah. And everybody talks about that.

Job location or relocation, make a big ticket purchase, house, car or take a trip. Now, where did you get your list from? Well, because I brought some to to kind of marry up a side of yours.

Where I got this list from is is experience. So this is coming from the Will Hardy, life knowledge. This is coming from counseling experience with with couples over the years, people who I've talked to chatted with, and of course, things that I've read. But these five things here, we when we look at them, and we look at maybe like relationship, you know, someone has got into a bad relationship. And they say, Well, I want to get out of this pretty fast.

So, you know, this happened like late last year, like before the holidays, I want to get out. So they're, they will think of reasons why they should get out of this relationship. So we're going to give you now the reasons that people make when they make their resolution, we want to come back and give you now seven reasons why people make these resolutions and why they can't keep them. Yeah, that's good, Will. And then also, we're going to offer up to you how to keep your resolutions and be successful at your resolution. So we've got 10 steps that will help you with that as well.

Exactly back in the show. So seven reasons why we really make New Year's resolutions and why we can't keep them. I just need to do something different. I failed last year. Number two, I failed last year.

So I thought I'd give it another try. Number three, I have something to prove to myself or prove to others. Number four, my friend or family member asked me to make a resolution with them because they didn't want to do it by themselves or make a resolution alone. Number five, it will help me get ahead in life. Number six, I'm doing this for someone else. Number seven, I think I can, I think I can.

Little engine that could mentality, but wasn't really ready for the task at hand. Exactly. So when we when you look at these reasons why people make them and why they can't keep them, I think they're doing it simply, Roy, for the wrong reason. See, when we one of the worst things a person can do when they make these resolutions is to make them at the beginning of the year, January 1st. What I used to do is if I make a resolution, I would say, I'm going to start this before Thanksgiving. And so anytime other than the beginning of the year, because it puts you in the same mentality that, OK, now that I'm starting this, you know, half of the country is doing the same thing. So so I feel good about myself that there's someone in Illinois or Ohio or Florida that's doing the same thing that I'm doing.

So so that's the wrong reason, though, to to to do it and to start at the beginning of the year, because if you look at it statistically to people fail after the first 30 days again, and it's because they made too big of a resolution or the resolution that they made, it was not attainable. Yeah. That's one of the articles that I brought with us tonight or today was the was the whole thing with was about being overzealous in their approach, you know, really being too aggressive versus what was realistic for them to try to take on. So you have that right there, Roy?

Yeah. Let me give you some of the other ones as well. Some of them line up very well, Will, with your experience and counseling and so forth. Number one, this these are the top 10 that came from an article by Brad Zomack, vice president of marketing at Path Gaither. Number one was exercise more. Number two was lose weight. Number three, get organized. Number four, learn a new skill or hobby. Number five, live life to the fullest, which is interesting. Number six, save more money, spend less money right along the money lines. Number seven, which I don't think you had because you didn't go quite this high, but was quit smoking, which that's a great, great, great resolution. And if you do get started on that, we encourage you to stay on that one for your benefit as well as everybody else around you. Number eight, spend more time with family and friends. Number nine, travel more and number 10, which I think most of us listening and being a part of this would say, read more. And we can even go a little bit further and say, read the Bible more.

So especially men read your Bible more. So, and then there's a, and when we come back here in just a little bit, we'll circle back. We'll talk about some of the things to help people achieve those resolutions versus staying on the path of dropping them and failing at what they've set out to do for 2021.

That's right. Because again, you know, if you make a, any type of goal or, and that's what you can call it, a goal or resolution, if you, if it's not attainable to you, or you have tried it before and you have failed, then change your outset and attempting to look at something that's much more attainable for you, you know, and because you say, well, you know, I tried losing weight, you know, four years in a row and after the first 30 days or 45 days or 60 days, you know, I just quit going to the gym. Well, now with the COVID and everything going on, a lot of the gyms are closed anyway.

So now you are forced to do things instead of working out with people around you, you have to come up with your own routine, you know, walk, walk around the park or run, get you some running shoes or some small dumbbell weights to, to work out and things like this. And, and because health is a part of the biblical being, you know, the whole man, I should say, you know, health, head health, heart health. And I think that translate to of course a better life. So when we make resolutions, make them so that they are attainable.

Yeah. And that's like any goal, right? You know, it needs to be smart and which is makes it attainable, something measurable and attainable. And that's important. That goes back to the small milestones versus the large milestones. Cause the, you know, many of the small milestones will make the larger ones. So set yourself up for success and, and set a small goal to begin with. And then once you achieve that goal, then raise the bar a little bit, raise it a little bit further and raise a little bit further.

And that's a key right there, Will. And so 2021, we're off to a run and start here. So we're first going into the second week of January, I guess, by date here, we're getting ready to turn it over tomorrow to Monday, whatever the date is.

So we're getting ready to make a, make a big change from week number two coming up. And what we would like to ask you, what are you thinking about changing in your life? And the first thing should be something related to your walk with Christ.

Is there something you could be doing better? And something I think that we all should be doing, we should have been doing, especially those who say that they are born again is to get on a reading plan with the scriptures and see all of us can do that. And it doesn't cost you anything. You don't have to go out and buy shoes and running gear and dumbbells or a treadmill or any of these things.

You don't have to do any of those things. All you have to do is pick up your, your word and get on a reading plan to read that. And, and I think that's, that's a lot of resolutions that's made to Roy. You know, people said, I want to be able to read the Bible in the year because my first experience with, with reading the Bible, when I said, I'm going to have a reading plan and of course they have all kinds of reading plans out there, even in the Bible, there is a reading plan. So depending, yeah, whatever Bible you get. So, but what I did is I would always start, I would always start reading the Bible. And then when I get to Leviticus, I just, I just lose it. I get to, I get to Leviticus and it's like, okay, I can't go on no more. So what I ended up doing is the first time I read it, I skipped over Leviticus. I skipped over Leviticus because I said, Oh, this, I just can't sit here and read this, this, this, this, this, and all these laws.

And he begat so-and-so and he begat so-and-so, I just can't do it. So, so, and I know that you all feel the same way or have someone who has gone through that experience. Yeah, there's no objections to that one Will. I think you're spot on with that commentary. And what's key too Will about reading is it needs to be quality, not quantity. Exactly.

So if you're not, if you're not chasing the quality, slow down, get the quality out of it. We'll be right back. Thank you so much for joining us. TAWCMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month. They have Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town. The meeting location is at their gracious Host Church, First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 North Main Street in Kernersville.

They have a hard start at seven o'clock and a hard stop at eight o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Affordable chiropractic in High Point. As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash patient. Dr. Jeff Fricke has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years. Physical therapy such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation, comprehensive care for auto accident injury patients with no out of pocket expense. Remember affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in High Point.

Call 336-885-1987. Welcome back to Man Talk Radio. This is Roy. And this is Will.

Hey, we appreciate you joining us. We're having a nice little conversation about people and resolutions and how they get through them or don't get through them. Most people break them. And I think it's about 80 percent was the statistic. I saw one of the articles, Will, that 80 percent of the people that set New Year's resolutions don't stay with them. And so obviously they don't achieve them. So 80 percent, that's an eight out of 10 failure rate. That's pretty high.

It is. So with that, let's talk about some of the things that can help you be successful with achieving your New Year's resolution. And I like Will's idea before the break.

He said he starts his if he's got a special thing he wants to try to accomplish, he starts it in November, which is a great or maybe even late October, November. It's a great way to do it because then you're already in a pattern coming into the holidays. So if you're very off that that role just a little bit, you get right back on. And that's one of the things we'll talk about here is the things to do. So these are the 10 things that came from this article I mentioned earlier about ways to get prepared and also to be successful in your resolutions. First, mentally prepare for change.

So mentally prepare. We all know that everything starts with the right attitude, right? So you've got to choose what you're going to do. You're going to choose what you're going to accomplish. You're going to choose how you're going to go after it. You're going to mentally make a decision to do that. So you need to be mentally thinking and preparing for this upcoming change. That's right. And most people, you know, Roy, I think that when they go into it, they go into it with the sense that I want to be successful or I will be successful. I agree. And then, of course, there are interferences that happen and come into their life that prevent them from staying on their pattern or developing a mindset to say that I'm going to go ahead and see distractions jump in there all the time.

Right. And we know, especially if it's something of a biblical nature, Satan's going to do all he can to try to get you distracted from your walk or you focus on God. Second, set a goal that motivates you. So when you're establishing a resolution, it should be something that you're excited to Will's point that you're excited about and that you're really motivated to try to achieve. If you're motivated by it, then that means you're going to be pursuing it. Means you're going to be focused on it. It means you're going to stay on the journey much longer if you're motivated by it. In fact, Roy, if you're motivated on it, people will make sacrifices elsewhere in order to stay on their resolution journey.

They really will. And that's a very good point. Number three, here goes back to the first part. We were talking the first half of the show limit resolutions to a manageable amount.

And we were picking and kidding about the plural side of that is here. Right here it says limit resolutions to a manageable amount. So complementary resolutions or a small number of resolutions. So they're achievable, attainable, measurable, and something that will help you achieve that milestone. So it keeps you motivated to reach for the next one. Absolutely. And it also help others who are around you because what happens is when they see you motivated and staying on task that will motivate them, you know, in whatever resolution that they may have, if they're living in the same house or their neighbor or a church member that goes with you and they see that you're sticking to it. And it's like, you know, Mr. Smith is sticking to this thing.

Yeah, I can do it too. That's right. So they'll get motivated.

That's right. And most, the most obvious ones back to losing weight when people see someone's been successful in losing weight. And you know, it's, I think it's a change of lifestyle too, while we're talking about losing weight. Keep that in mind. It may require a change of lifestyle to achieve your resolutions.

And that doesn't mean just a short term, it may mean a permanent change in order to stay on track and stay in the maintenance mode once you've achieved that milestone. And, and this is why we were talking about too earlier, Roy, that if you, if you start that resolution of dieting and eating right before the holiday heath starts, then, you know, the heath doesn't get so great. Absolutely.

And, and it would, it would actually, it would actually help you get disciplined because if you can make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas with, and, and manage your diet going into the new year, that is the best approach. I want to take a quick moment here, Will, while we're talking, this is Man Talk Radio. So let's talk to the men right quick.

What would, if you could speak to every man personally, and we are via radio and podcasts, but right now, what would be the one thing you would like to see every man that's listening adopt or change in 2021? Well, and I think it's, it's like going back to the mission, you know, our mission. And, and that is for men to understand, number one, understand their role as a man, as a husband, as a father, understand what that is biblically, and then let God bless you to understand how you take that role forward in interacting with your spouse, your children, your community, your church family, other men. Absolutely.

And start to, to download and invest in other men once you've got hold of what it is God wants you to do and how he wants you to do it. That's right. That's good. I would echo that.

So number four, be specific on your resolution. Don't be broad-based, but be very specific on what you're trying to achieve. That makes it easier to manage because you were very pinpointed. Absolutely. If it's quitting smoking, if it's reading more than say, okay, I want to read my Bible more than set a goal specifically for that, don't decide I'm going to read my Bible more. I'm going to read a chapter a day and meditate on that and allow God to speak to me and then be an active listener of what you've read.

Allow God to speak back to you through those words. Yes, because you have reading and then you have reading for understanding. And so understanding is the key.

And of course, we're talking to those individuals who have been in Christ and you understand by messages that you have heard what you should be doing as a man to continue with your walk in Christ so that you can have an effect on others. Number five, Roy, is to break up the big goals into smaller goals. And of course, we talked about that too. We did.

Yes. Big goals into smaller goals because it could certainly have the larger goal as your ultimate milestone, but going to the smaller milestones builds up to that larger goal and you feel successful along the way. You don't get discouraged. And see this, it leads into this next one when people don't write the goal down.

So that's number six is to write the goal down. Record it because everybody can't remember everything that they need to be doing just in a 24 hour day. Information overload. It is.

And you know, we're getting it from all sources. And so writing it down, going back and referring it, referring back to it, get your journal, you know, especially, especially if you're, you want to exercise or manage money and do things like this, it is best to have a journey on that. A journal, I'm sorry. Well, it is a journey too. Yeah.

A journey with the journal. You know, we had to put the spin on that thing now. We had to put the spin on it. Okay.

Number seven. I'm getting you back from me being off pace at the start of the show. Okay. Turn about fair play.

Turn about fair play. Okay. Number seven, share your resolution with others. And see, that's what we were talking about is that if you, if you exercising with people or you're doing things with people, that person can keep you motivated and you can keep them motivated. And you know, that, that falls right in line with what we've been talking about on the show for months is accountability, right? Having an accountability partner. So here, when you share your objective and your resolution with someone else, you're just basically saying, Hey, I need an accountability partner on this journey.

That person will help remind you, help coach you, help encourage you and help keep you uplifted while you're trying to achieve this goal. Absolutely. And that's great, Roy. Okay. Number eight is automate where possible. You know, when I saw that, okay.

Automation. Well, it's all about something I've got to change, but go ahead and give them what they're talking about there. And I think it'll make sense as soon as you hear this. Okay. Nowadays, there are a million different apps and services to help you follow through on your resolutions. These free, um, tools can help you provide a constant reminder. Yeah. And the most obvious one will is the, is the calendar function on your phone. Cause you can put a daily reminder in there, you know, at six o'clock in the morning, for those of you that are late, getting up at six, late, late, getting up at six.

Yeah. Some of us get up quite much earlier than that, but, uh, to say at six o'clock, I want my alarm to go off as a reminder that I need to get quiet. It's my quiet time, or it's the time I need to get on exercise bike or it's time to go take a run. Or it's a time for meditation.

It's a time for journaling, uh, or it's the time to pray with my spouse or pray for my family, whatever it is. That's a great opportunity with these tools. And that's just a real simple way to, to help you stay on track. Exactly. And number eight, review your resolution regularly, regularly. So, so we had to put emphasis on that because what happens is how often again, exactly when people, when people make it, they forget about it because they're not doing some of the things that we talked about before, right? Writing it down, you know, referring back to it and things like this. So what happens is, is we forget what we made a resolution about in the, in January 1st. And then when it comes to February 16th, just say, we say, well, what is it that we supposed to be doing?

And because we hadn't wrote it down, what we know, what we ended up doing is we end up modifying the resolution, if you can remember, because we can't remember it, you know, and because they hadn't wrote it down. So yeah, that's, that's, that's the thing right there. And then of course, number 10, if you fall off track, get back up quick.

Yes. And that's the key is get back on board. Don't kill yourself about it. Don't break it. Don't break yourself to death about it. Just jump back on, say, Hey, I may have missed a few days, missed a week. I'm right back in on track. You know, I heard one preacher, Roy, he said, it's not how hard you fall.

It's how fast you get up. That's right. You know, so some of us, we, we fall pretty hard, you know, when it comes through things that we're going through during the day and quite regularly too. Yeah, because if we're not keeping that mind renewed, it's so easy. And this, we were talking about that earlier in the show, Romans 12, two is, is a verse that we quote often. And it's because God would not have put it in there if he didn't want us to do it every day. And he says daily. So that means he knows that if we don't do it daily and our mind is not renewed, then what will happens, we'll, we'll start entertaining thoughts.

We'll start thinking like the world again. And, and, and God has brought us from that point. And I need to, and I think it was before we actually started the show for the, cause you probably got some listeners out there scratching their head. And I believe it was before we actually started the broadcast.

If I remember correctly now may stand to be corrected. If I do apologize on the next show, I think, I think it was before we started this show. So folks, it's a kind of interesting when you think about resolutions, cause we've all done it and I'm trying to sit here and think of what's been the most successful resolution for me. And, but you should ask yourself, does it really work? And if not, or do I need to do differently?

Use these 10 principles that we've given you that was from scientists and some of the studies on social behavior. So it should be a big help to you. Absolutely. And don't allow yourself to, to be discouraged as you're going through, because you're going to have discouragement, but get back up fast and continue on the journey and let God bless you.

That's right. Hey, join us next week. When we come back to the mic, we're going to be having a show. It's going to be phenomenal. We'll be talking about repentance. And I think it's going to be something you're going to want to hear and why should you repent?

Absolutely. And that's going to be the topic we hope for you to join us next week. Have a great week. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that T A W C M M talking and walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men that are Christ followers with the desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches, and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk. This is the Truth Network.