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December 6, 2020 4:00 pm
Welcome to Man Talk, with your Hosts Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. Roy and Will welcomes Pastor Ken Klein back to the show. This week's discussion is about anxiety, depression and other problems, and how men can deal with them.
Our ministry is devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination so that men, who are disciples of Christ, may come together to worship as one body.
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This is the Truth Network welcome to man brought you by T8 W CM is talking and walking Christian men's ministry where they are devoted to breaking down the walls of race, age, challenging, and take their God assigned as our host will Hardy and Roy Jones Junior, a black guy and why a great guy was a black guy and all I get and I will Hardy that other guy he is. That other guy trust where I would have given the pastor can conjoin us again this week from Christ wasn't church in Greensboro and I am the blackest white guy you had to say about seconds, but it's such a good, good to see both you guys and I thank you so much for taking time with us today. Yet you wanted things to talk about before the program began was about manner, afraid to get in touch with their inner self. If you will or or maybe communicate how the really feeling on the inside.
And so talk to you about today is folks as well. Conversation around this the things that the men are dealing with depression, anxiety, all those different things and what's happening with our men. As a result of that, and how most are not handling it properly and we will talk about the best way to I was just thinking more lightly but were in the middle of a pandemic, obviously were dealing with that as a nation, but there are other micro pandemics.
If you if you will call E epidemics in Internation with depression and anxiety and despondency, and I mentioned to you, Roy.
I have probably in the last four months have had more counseling sessions at my church in coffee shops and other spaces third spaces James everywhere else with men who are feeling things they've never felt before. Anxiety, depression, all enter their worry about it. Never felt like I'm feeling right now. We know the reasons for that with all the unknowns in the week that we've talked about things are happening to the church happening with finances with jobs and all these things we've never really been here like we've been in many many years anyway so work on finding that men are really starting to do with depression, but men really struggle with. Oh, I don't want my dirty laundry and I will talk to but about that that I can't get a handle on this stress down. And no, but there comes a time when you have to say. I'm not okay, and who will I do that and so the starting reach out and wait.
We hope that through maybe this talk orgasm he will say hey I'm not okay I'm not showing up right home and so let's you must talk because a real man a real man we just fess up and he he would come and he'd say I'm doing this for the sake of my family. I'm not just doing this you know the tent to air out what everything that I'm I'm going through because I can no everything you do and everything you say is going to have an effect on someone you know so so if you don't move forward and let the Holy Spirit deal with you as the head of that household to say this thing is bothering me.
If it continues to bother me is going to deal with my family is, flagging my friends, and other relationships that I have and we don't really know the outcome of what those things will be.
But we do know it's going to have an adverse affect going forward, it already is.
It really hasn't one of things it is you get a chocolate glaze, escalate, listening to and it'll come out of something, whether it's it's a crime or heinous act of some sort. It will come out right and it will manifest itself in some way you what's meant what we want to hear though is that the storm that you're going through, but we played on last week showing the storm that you're going through, may very well be the thing that shapes your children for their future because your children are watching how you are handling this and watching how the mother selling if you're if you're the right role model. And hey, it's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay say I need help.
Those are all things that show a strong leader, strong husband, strong father says hey I can't do this alone that God first got my brothers to walk this journey out with me. Yeah, you setting the stage for what your children are going to expect in their life exactly they see if they see you give up or quit or go lock yourself away or sit from the TV for endless hours in the negative. That's what the guns deem is the acceptable response to want to the storm and thus not an acceptable response to my fear is this is playing out his will site this way. Keith Drewry wrote a book many years ago. Cold holiness for ordinary people, and I don't remember every detail, all the chapters.
Everything what I remember is the dedication page. He said I dedicate this book to my father who lived holiness in the home. The hardest place to live and I thought about it at that moment is not true. That's not the hardest place to live this but but the truth is, as I've discovered over the last 20 actually is the place that men are showing up in and we put our game face because we were shown how to do that in society we have to go to work in order to keep her job.
We have to have the right attitude and in the right work ethic and ritual for church and we smile and we do all these things, but when we come home we think it's okay to be ourselves. Okay if it from prone to depression and then will be depressed at home yeah put my game face on. When I get my car go to work, but this is my home.
I can before him. But that's just the opposite. That's where we need to show the most right with our best are a game with her attitude.
If you sit in your car for two or three minutes to get your act together praying insanely know what you got. Walk in the door with your aching for your kids and for your wife, a man I go in and say I hate my life I hate was going on the world and discuss fitness chair and watch TV only going to the bedroom and the drama going.
The man came ago my garage and into not the world, and your your your your husband and your father gets the worst of him seeing that more more more and have actually lived that out and portions of my life until I finally reached out and you know clinical psychologist will tell you that the complications as a result of not dealing with anxiety and depression and I jot a few now here before we came on his suicidal feelings.
Weight gain just for physical and mental pain, self-mutilation, and so people will actually go out and hurt themselves. Well you know and and then anxiety and deep disappointment and was the other one that I had down here and so this is this is what happens if you sleep when they're not supposed to sleep. They don't sleep when this book was listening to this program and most of what you described. I'm experiencing what does a person do so I guess that's new.
What is the preventive medicine.
Here the preventive maintenance if you will. To avoid this order to get correction in our course of rereading in an overlook that iPad from Axa Cato and I love it is facing your Giants is one of his classic books by love.
The main theme of the book is this. If you focus on your Giants, you stumble. If you focus on your guard your Giants tumble and so I guess that the big starting point is of got a look to my God you can read Psalm 91.
You know you got to come underneath the Lordship of your God under the shelter of of the Almighty Elsa died and also what I think probably one of the biggest starting points we can talk about a number of because we really want to give you some true.
How to use it as though his start with God back in the word hope it says seek his face.
He can scratch it says seek the Lord in his strength seek his face continually home 1054 was that again seek the Lord and his strength seek his face. Not for five minutes today after two minutes today seek his face continually be great starting point to help get you out of the funk and we know that men are terribly terrible about reading and praying three in the bottom right.
We know that the two weakest areas in most men's walk and see.
And you know man when you are not functioning like you normally would. If the pandemic wasn't present. Right you know if we didn't have to deal with.
You know how you would touch so any detour or deviation from whatever that norm was for you, then you need to start looking at that now so Roy, you were talking about what man see. I would even's say before they do. What can talk about is is seeking God is just recognizing that I am off course not okay that I will not talk about that will so if you're if you're fatigued this talk about some the common things that would be going on.
If you're fatigued.
If you have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings motivations lacking your sexual desire was called down. This is typically a result of depression or anxiety, weight gain or loss or loss yet severe or you and you and you constantly worried about things. Those are some of the signals, you probably should go to see you see your physician and reach out to your pastor if you got a pastor in life and ask and share this and our own accountability partner, brother, and that is not a weakness.
It's not that it's a greater strength and weakness absolutely great when you rise up. And you say I'm going to get ill because of micros in this place and again that's that's what a real man would do a real man would say I am not going to shelter or hide anything that I know that is not normal for me to be functioning anyone at this time and wanted topics we discovered a few weeks ago. The collateral damage was looking this way you're avoiding collateral damage by making the steps because we don't do the collateral damage going to be the impact on the children. The impact on the wife impact on you personally and your health. Maybe even your life. Because if you say get the hook in with this depression and he'll jump all over that and that's the other thing, then the lies will start sounding like truth because you're so far down in the valley. You've lost touch with where you need. How many of only pastors I would wonder are afraid of reaching out counseling because they are the shepherd of the counselor if the site and in the in our minds. It's a sign of weakness, and I don't want anybody to think that I'm not strong enough to because they've always thought of me as the lender or a good guy, strong guy. Well, all solemn, struggling and that is that is that's a lie of the enemy also right about that.
It is in all of us are sitting here that Roland you active in both you guys got churches you passes your listing will encourage you that the numbers don't indicate success and we know you're struggling right now because you deal with the physical FICA L responsibility to church or dealing with the physical and in terms of numbers and that are there and all this is a come against you folks. If you're listening and you're in the flock of a particular church growth encourage you pastor.
They know how much you love him or her and say you were so glad you're here. What you doing were here with you and encourage them and pastors. If you're listening. We also want to say find that person that you can talk to that you can trust that will listen to you and be your your sounding board, without judgment or anything else. In the end they existed has to be some outside of the church, seek them out. We know that you're just like us your distant a higher calling role in the kingdom.
Folks were going to take a break in just a few seconds but will you look like you have someone in my before going to Brett.
I just want to say, speaking from the pastor's pastor's perspective, even a counselor needs a counselor.
He is a man, a Mensa." I leave you with this did not walk this journey by yourself. You need somebody with you and God will provide that life was to pray about that person will step right in you least expect to use CMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month and Bible discussions and fellowship. After that fast breakfast in town meeting location is in their gracious host church in First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 N. Main St. encouraged him a hard start at 7 o'clock on a hard stop at 8 o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your host will party Roy Jones Junior, a black guy in a white guy affordable chiropractic in High Point. As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash.
Patient Dr. Jeff Ricky has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years, physical therapy, such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation conference of care for auto accident injury patients with no out-of-pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on the West Lexington High Point Hall 336-885-1987. Welcome back Samantha greater were visiting with pastor Ken Klein from Greensboro Moquila and were talking about this funk that men tend to get into in the don't know where to go for lack of better term. We want to do some positive things and you some guidance here on the second half of the show about the how to deal with it in the end of things to watch out for. So can you didn't break your cover things you're starting to talk about the girl really going to help folks in this trash in trash out thing and the timing of all that, let's talk a little about that as well.
The other art society right now this point in time there's up there a lot of negatives there loving to be all you need to do to prove that would be to watch the first 15 minutes of any newscast tonight on any any channel that because her to show you the stabbings, the shootings, so the grass medical mass always different things in. If that's the last thing you do in your day is watch the news before you go to bed, get the nets of desk will be a negative net stuff we need when you're around negative long enough. It's going to bring you down and so for somebody that that I would say that's that's finding themselves in a negative spirit through being negative about stuff you got quick story about the security guys of it or it that collateral damage that you mentioned.
It's going to mount get bigger and bigger. I would say one of the things you have to do is is remove yourself from the negatives and stop having negative comfort conversations on all brake work at the water cooler outside at the church I went out on the front porch of our church Sunday and I in the were negative conversations going on about life and I could tell that the guys around there were just just struggling him and they were angry that in unit that stuff just floating the church.
He came right owning with them. I noticed that all through my church Sunday morning, there was negative like I'd never seen before.
It was alarming and I talked my wife about so that stores will tell you real quick. I I woke up with that negative feeling on the Monday morning. And so, with my wife and I will have that we always have her devotions together in the living rainbow sit near and she mentioned to me hey picture you pray for someone so they get the sick well good luck with that.
You know I'm a Betty Morrison in the first three things she said to me I gave a very negative response and she looked at me and she said you were you are in a negative you know him and I went in my journal notes that I looked in and I noticed nothing that I really written a really good talk together.
Nothing was really positive.
That was the day that I went up to my garage. It took 10 sheets of paper and small cards are rolled on 10 things Goliath was yelling out my issues were big things. The COBIT issue and in the defunding the church that we talked about on the nightly thing and just just some of my stuff, some of our family step I took those. I folded him twice a put in a little box to put duct tape around the box open the drawer on the ground stuffed it in the door shut the door to said shut up all here Michael focus on his number needed and I wrote down to my greatest blessings in life and that I wrapped those around my wrist literally with with sports take and have them written down there with a sharpie marker and some people are they subdued, what's up. Is this the DOS is is my reminders of that one of the voices of my praises to be louder than the voices of Michael and so that's one of those houses it has to be intentional. You have to make a strong effort to say I will not listen to the voices a matter negative focus on the blessings, folks, it's interesting that in if you look at the first Samuel 17. We all know the David and Goliath story. David says something nine times a me I'm sorry 11 times in that story two times he mentions Goliath.
What about the Philistine force against in the and one other times asking questions about the giant Goliath. The other nine conversations were talking about the God of the armies of Israel is focused on God is God and those armies nine times about God.
Two times about Goliath four times more focused on God than they were on the enemy in David showed me this young warrior. Are you focused more on your God then you are in your Goliath. In that story, so I think a big one of the big how-to's and this is what he listening to what you focused on is it intentional is Bailey is often you hear the voice of God more. It was about and what are you looking at yes everything, what are you looking exactly because yet you know as you are saying that it just reminded me that we as God's people.
If you're born again and you're walking in the truth. What you're going through is not easy. It is not easy and we're not saying it's easy. But God has given you all of the tools that you need in your toolboxes to be able to offset any giant that the enemy throw at Synthroid any fiery dark any arrow see we have to come back to back. Jesus said in John 1717. He said sanctified them in the word and I truth thy word is truth, and then he said, just as you sent me out into the world. I send you an Internet has a stop with.
Still, the message of Christ still has to go out even in the midst of what were going through now absolute so so if you are sanctified in the word, then you are set apart to do something that will not only put sure that you will store treasures up in heaven, but it would also benefit the people who you're talking to down here on earth and see we want to do those do the edifying. We want to empowering you know we we want to emphasize what God is showing us as men that we need to do so that we can have an impact on the earth. And I think about 12 men, 12 men had an impact on on the entire earth.
12 men and I'm saying now. We got millions of born-again believers so our impact should be astronomical. Note, yes you you were speaking Christian either died in the war.
A great term. What is it mean this need to sanctify be sanctified in the work sanctified in the word, it means that when you get into the Scripture you sexual yourself apart unto God, he in turn will set you apart from the world because you can't you can't set your own self apart and that's number number one and number two the seed have to be planted in you, so you know what to do and you can only you can only do that in the word God yet and that such key goes back to what we just have a little bit ago. Most men are not doing what they're not sitting in the word of God, the not talking to God and not in the word, certainly not in the word of God you can't be sanctified yes) and neither neither are they taking what they are learning from the house of God.
The messages that the pastor preaching in and the Bible and talking these things out with their families of Mayor listen or talk about being the word of God. Where would you tell if a man's bit occurrence born-again Christian for long time just never spent much time in the word.
You know decent well where you start glancing up to. Word is he he start and you and you know what I'm saying Veronica.I am a lover.
I am a lover of the smog. If you have heard this show you've heard me say that like 50 million times get in the small group the small group will help you tremendously. So if you that's where I would point the main point the man into the smog and fight find a small group within your church. Ask around, do what is necessary, but get yourself that's that's of geographic place that should be positioned totally agree with that tool to use would be like living the life dealer study thing.
I would be a fantastic way to get them in a regular routine of reading the Bible scripture study and meditative SMS where where they start in the Bible. You have always said when you read Scripture the best thing you can do before you read it is to pray about it because I eat. I need a spirit of the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in the truth is I don't understand half of what I read until I pray for God's only 88 answer out fill in the rest of this whole course for me. You guys tonight. Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace in the things of earth when you're looking in the face of Jesus when you're in the world when you're reading Scripture when you're when you're in the father you're biting and when you draw close to him and says you draw close to me uncle closed. I love that course turn your eyes upon Jesus, full his wonderful face and what in the things of earth grow strangely of the pandemics, the unrest, distress, and everything else.
Below you will patch Adams did the forefinger thing in his Saying how many fingers a minor in every syndrome up four fingers. And though I think it was Walt in the movie and he said you gotta look past the problem to get to the answer and when he looked in Walt's face past the four fingers.
What happened to the fingers they blurred and he said I see eight Walt and Walt. That's a good answer because he was looking in the face be be on the fingers and we need to do that is meant that we need to look past the things of earth. That's good stuff that's going to look into an Almighty sovereign God and draw close to and get into the word get in with your brothers, whatever that takes in the things of earth these problems. These things are causing the depression will grow strangely dim. That's weird. We talked in our last session to about we have to serve because when you are fresh others. What happens you have refreshed Yahoo will if you want to get out of the funk go out be a blessing.
Somebody may start helping and serving other people and smile and what Christ advised he was serving others at all times and if you if you need a place to start man reading the Bible start of first John first John three first second third John and then go to the gospel of John. And that's where you start reading will appreciate the guys can spend so so so good to have you again when absolutely, so we need to do this more often. So it's always good to have another baldheaded guy sitting in my mask back on the yellow got exercise proper caution so you have your basket physically distance away from the wills tell about to be born again. Roy well yard. The father love you so much that he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for you if you recognize him as a personal service mid minister to repent for business and ask him into your heart and then get into body fellowship and start serving him from this day forward you to be born again will see on the other side of eternity purchasing a man a man as we wrap up today show. Be assured that TA W CMM talking walking Christian men's ministry is building a community of men Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events of regularly scheduled meetings, drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on man talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com men walking the talk. This is the Truth Network