Love and Marrriage and God pt 3

Welcome to Man Talk, brought to you by TAWCMN, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where they are devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination, and challenging men to take their God-assigned role.

Here's our hosts Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Welcome to Man Talk Radio. And, you know, our last two shows, we were talking about conflict resolution between husband and wife and some of the things that you can do in order to resolve this conflict that ultimately you will have in your relationship. And so I was talking with a couple couples who actually listened to the first show and they said, well, Pastor, are you going to say anything about wives and submission?

Because, you know, a lot of people have problems with that. And so I want to begin by, and we talked a little bit about that on the part two of this husband and wife conflict resolution. But I want to go into a little bit more detail today and give you some scripture references and reference to it, because having respect for the authority of the Word of God is key in bringing conflict to a point to be resolved in Jesus Christ. And see, you don't want to go around and continue to have focus, just continuously focus on the problem. You want to turn your attention and focus on a biblical solution. And we said in part one and again in part two that the Bible has answers for us.

We just have to know where to look for these answers. But in Ephesians chapter five, verses 22 through 24, it talks about the wife submitting to her husband as unto the Lord. And when I was talking with these two couples, you know, I shared with them that one of the main things that's not happening when it comes to men and women is understanding their role as a leader and a husband in the home and the wife understanding what her role is. But society has taken these roles and they have injected so much pollution, if you will, into what the Bible says that we should be doing as men and how we should resolve conflict as husband and wife.

And they have turned it around and now you have the roles reversed in some instances. And that is basically a recipe for disaster. So when God talks about submitting, the wife submitting to her husband as unto the Lord, if that man knows Christ and he is born again and his desire is to do what the will of God says that he should be doing as the leader in that home. And if the wife sees this, then she's going to come alongside and support him. But we said in part two of this that if that husband who is, who might be unsaved because you have situations where you have a husband or wife who is unsaved and then all of a sudden one gets saved and the other one don't.

So, you know, and that has another set of issues altogether. But if that husband truly, truly is submitting himself unto God and the wife sees that, then she'll definitely come alongside. So when we talked on part two of this, we said that a woman should not do anything that her husband tells her to do that goes against the word of God or causes her to sin against God. Because God is, won't support a person who is committing sin or using his word to establish some type of overarching authority in the home more than what God has allowed that man to be. Because if a man knows that, hey, I'm the head of the home and you supposed to be doing what I say, then, you know, this is not the will of God.

You come alongside and so loving your wife husbands will cause her to submit to you. And so let me give you a Colossians chapter three beginning with verse number twelve. Therefore, as the elective God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing one another and forgiving one another. Notice that verse 13 for bearing one another and forgiving one another. See, so if you're concentrating more on the problem or who's to blame and you're not focused on the biblical solution, then all you're going to do is focus on the problem and never reach the biblical solution. So bearing one another, understanding the points that are made within the relationship.

If the husband is bringing up an issue or the wife is bringing up an issue, listen to it. And then he says, forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

And see, that's command. We must forgive. Now we were talking earlier, I was talking earlier to one of the producers and, you know, we said that a person can forgive, but see, as humans, we sometimes don't forget. And so when something within that relationship triggers you to remember something that you supposed to have forgiven your husband or forgiven your wife about, and now you're bringing it back up again.

And then the question is, did you really forgive them or are you using that as simply as a tool to say, whenever you make me upset, whenever you make me angry, now I'm going to go to my box of angry things, pull out this that happened five, 10 years ago and throw it up in one's face. And again, this is not bearing, being humble, being kind, being meek, long suffering, or forbearing one another. And he goes on to say in verse 14, but above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And we know that we're not perfect because if we were, then we wouldn't need Jesus. But we understand that because we are not perfect, we submit ourselves to the one who is perfect within us. So when we submit to Christ who dwells within us, just as Jesus said, the father is in me and I am in him. So if Christ is in us and we are in Christ, then as long as we submit to that perfect one, then we are walking in perfection.

We are not perfect, but we are walking in perfection because we're submitting to the one who is perfect. And then in verse 15, he says, and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to which also you were called in one body and be thankful. So the peace of God can reign once you recognize and realize that if we have a problem and we're admitting we have a problem, we don't want to continue to talk in detail about why this particular problem arrived. We just know it's here. Let's deal with it. Let's go to God. Let's go to the word of God.

And if we can't find resolution, then let us go to a pastor who is grounded in the truth because we talked about that on the first show and he said, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. That's verse number 16, teaching and admonishing one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father through him. So having a heart of humility and having an openness to the truth of God, it gives us an avenue to God so that we can cast our cares on him because we were never meant to carry these things. And then in verse 18, he says, wives, submit to your own husbands as is fitting to the Lord.

But see, you have to do all of the things in verses number 12 through 17 before you come down and you submit yourselves to your own husband. You have to come in in humbleness. You have to be that meek spirit.

Don't wait for him to be meek or don't wait for her to be meek. You show meekness. You show humbleness. You show the grace that God has given and put in your heart. And you be the one who step forward and let that which God has given you begin to manifest in and through you so that whatever point that they're at, it will bring that anger, that portion of anger and hostility.

It'll bring it under control of the Holy Spirit. And then in verse 19, he says, husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter towards them. So we're coming up here on a break, but I want to pick that up when we get back from the break, because, you know, there are commands to husbands and there are commands to wives. And each one of them needs to understand the critical thing about relationships is understanding your role. And if you never, ever understand your role as a wife or as a husband, how can you submit yourself to God in a godly way?

Because conflict will exist. We'll be right back after the break. TAWCMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month. They have Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town. The meeting location is at their gracious Host Church, First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 North Main Street in Kernersville.

They have a hard start at seven o'clock and a hard stop at eight o'clock. First time visitors eat for free. Join your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Affordable chiropractic in High Point. As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash patient. Dr. Jeff Rickey has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years. Physical therapy such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation, comprehensive care for auto accident injury patients with no out of pocket expense. Remember affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in High Point.

Call 336-885-1987. Welcome back to Man Talk Radio. And when we left off, we were talking about this submission while submission is taking out of context and society has literally reversed everything that the Bible has taught in reference to what it means for one to submit to their spouse.

And I mean, we could just take a show just talking about that. But see, once you get past the point of each one of you understanding. Number one, what your role is. Number two, face the problem and admit if you have any part within causing one to sin or if you're sinning yourself, then admit that. And then go to God in prayer. Seek the word of God for an answer to whatever it is you're going through and then understand and respect the word of God as the authority in your life. And if you don't want to accept the word of God as your authority, then you have to look at yourself and ask, am I truly a born again believer? Because the word of God must reign supreme.

It must. It must be the deciding thing within our lives that we have to hold on to. And see, man, when you talk about love like Jesus loved the church and you should love your wife, you got to show her.

You got to have acts of love in your relationship. And this means that you have to have a concern for not only the people within your household, but you have to have a concern for others. And all of the while, Jesus, he illustrated his love for the church. And if we model the love that Jesus had for the church, then we can overcome a lot of what we're faced with. But this love concerning the well-being of others, love isn't isn't selfish.

You know, that's first Corinthians 13 five. It doesn't seek its own. Love works not to harm anyone. So if you and we talked about this and in the first part, if you're using your tongue as poison, then what you're doing is you're harming your spouse more instead of being a voice. To help him when he's down in the valley and husbands, likewise, help your wives when they're down in the valley, because love is a choice. It's a choice of your will. You have to choose to love. And, you know, we can we can choose to love one another or not, just as we can choose not to obey the scriptures and the commandment of God. So the question is, is what are you going to do when conflict starts?

You know, are you going to respond in such a way that causes her to be more incited with wrath or anger? Because the primary responsibility of the husband is to initiate love to your wife. You have to be the initiator of that love. And but if you're in conflict and you haven't you continue continuously looking at the problem instead of the biblical solution, you will never arrive at it. Man is he's commanded to love into the relationship, just as Christ loved the church. In Romans chapter five, verses six through eight, Christ loved us while we were yet sinners. He didn't love us just because we were lovable. No, he chose to do so because this is something that needed to be done in order to reconcile us back unto God.

So God sent his son because we can't save ourselves. And see, that's love. And and if we model that same type of love, then we would be ever so grateful.

And every day we wake up to say, God, I'm going to come in here. I'm going to love my wife and I'm going to give her a compliment. I'm going to tell her what a great job she's doing with the children. Thank you for preparing that meal or getting the house done or even working and coming home and doing some things after work.

All of these things we should be thankful and grateful for. So if you are having difficulties, why don't you simply just just write out a list, write out of a list, men, of all of the things your wife has done that you have not on a regular basis just praised her for and thanked her for. And likewise, wives, if you're listening, we want you to do the same thing, because giving the giving of yourself to each other is showing the essence of the love of Christ that is placed within each and one of you. Love should be expressed by what we say, and it should also be expressed by what we do. We just can't have lip service and say, oh, you know, I love you and I thank you for this.

And we say it all casually and cavalierly without having any type of feeling behind it. And I think if you have been married long enough, you know, and your spouse know when you're just kind of, you know, just OK, I'm just going to tell her this because she needs to hear today, but not with much feeling, not coming out and simply saying, you know, I just love you for who you are and just grab that woman, grab that woman and give her a plan, a big wet one right on there and say, you know, you are so beautiful to me. You are the one that I adore and you inspire me to continue to be the best man I can for this particular family. Just go out the way and do it.

You know, if you're riding in the car right now, well, don't plant a big one on you if you're riding in the car, but just wait until you park somewhere and then plant the big one on her and just tell her how much you love her, how much you adore her, how much you appreciate what she's done for you. And wives, you reciprocate. Just don't let him do everything. You jump in there, too, and say, hey, you know, my man does.

Yeah, that's right. Tell, tell your friends about your man and let them inspire, be inspired by what you're saying concerning him. Because see, man, every now and then they may not admit it, but you know, they need their egos pumped just a little bit. Well, maybe a little bit more, but they need it pumped.

So they need to be encouraged. If he get out there with a hammer and nail and he all of a sudden he do some handyman project and, and fix something for you, just give him, just applaud him and say thank you for fixing that step because, you know, that could have been a hazard. That could have been something, you know, we go out to take the trash and all of a sudden we trip over the step and, and we fall down because we, you never, ever want to end the day unless you tell her thank you and praise her for something. And, and don't be ashamed because, you know, man, sometimes we're not as sentimental as the woman is, but, and, and, and you know, the, the flowers and the candy, you know, that's, that's okay, but you know, that's kind of old.

I'm just, I'm just going to tell you, man, that's, that's, that's old. You got to come out the candy in the flower box. You got to be creative. Your wife wants you to be unique. And what that means is to do something for her that you haven't done before.

So inspire to do something different. Now, you know, ultimately if we ever talk about sex, you know, now you're not going to do anything to each other that's going to be painful or, or one that's, if she object to something that you want to do, don't do it because everything that you do, even when it comes down to being intimate to each other, it has to be mutual. It must be mutual. You cannot have an imbalance when it comes to things like this, one wanting to do it and one not wanting to do it because you never want to get to that big D word. You don't want to get there. And what that big D word is, is divorce.

You don't want to go there. Sometimes it's inevitable, but we need to do everything that we possibly can not to go down that road. Because if you did what you supposed to do, when you said I do, then you should do that for life. And I tell you, just a little bit, we only got less than a minute to go, but my wife of 32 years went on to be with the Lord. And I tell you, it was a joy to have her for as long as I did.

And I'm just thankful for all that she's done when it came to our family, our children, raising them, staying home with them when she put her career on hold. So men, be an example. Get out of the box. Don't stay in there.

Do something differently. Be an encouragement. God is waiting for you today. So we thank you and for listening to another show of man talk. And we hope that you join us again for our next show.

Thank you and God bless you. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry is building a community of men that are Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Find us at www.tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk.