Faithful in Friendship

What does it take to make love worth finding? Acclaimed pastor and Bible teacher, Adrian Rogers, said the church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. The way this world will know Jesus is through the church. There is to be no disunity. Instead, we have a common purpose, function, and goal. There can be no arrogance or envy, no rivalry or self-sufficiency. We are instructed to care for one another. If you have your Bible turned out of 1 Corinthians chapter 12, verse 12, as Adrian Rogers illustrates how we can be faithful in friendship. I began reading down verse 25 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should care for one another. We call these reciprocal commands.

Now there are many of them. The first one is found in John 13, verse 34. Here's what Jesus said. Jesus said, A new commandment I give unto you, that ye should love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. Now all of the commandments had been given in the Old Testament. But now, along comes Jesus, and He says, I'm going to give you a new commandment.

You're to love one another. This was the last commandment He gave before His arrest, His mock trial, His crucifixion. He said, I give you this command, that you love one another. Do you know the badge that the Christian is to wear?

It is the unseen, but also the always-seen badge of love. Listen to this verse, 1 John 4, verse 20. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he hath seen, how can he love God, whom he hath not seen? Again the Bible, Jesus said, By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another. The Bible commands us to love. Now this love is not optional, but it's not automatic.

If it were automatic, we wouldn't be commanded to do it. Now what is this kind of love? Why did Jesus say a new commandment, I give you that you love one another? In the Old Testament we're told to love. Well what is the new commandment? The new commandment is that we are to love as He loved.

That is with a new quality. Now the love that Jesus is talking about here is not just merely doing our neighbor no harm, but it is seeking opportunity to do Him good, even when He doesn't deserve it. That's what Jesus did for me.

God commandeth His love toward me, and that while I was yet a sinner, He died for us. Do you know what real love is? Love is not your giving me what I deserve.

It is giving me what I need. Love is not giving me even what I want. Love is giving me what I need.

Love says, you will do me good regardless of what I do to you. We are to love one another. That's the way we care for one another according to 1 Corinthians 15.

Now not only are we to love one another, here's another command. We are to receive one another. Turn this time to Romans chapter 15 and just look at this passage of Scripture.

It's a very interesting passage, Romans chapter 15 and verse 7. Our love for one another. The Lord says here, wherefore receive ye one another. There's our word again, receive ye one another as Christ also received us to the glory of God. How are we to love? We're to love as He loved. How are we to receive? We are to receive as He received. Now folks, this is one of the most needy commands in all of the Bible. That we make people feel loved and welcomed when they come into the church.

Now here's the third thing. When we're to care one for another, that means we're to love one another. That means we're to receive one another. It also means because we love and because we receive, we are to greet one another.

Look again now in Romans chapter 16, verse 16, what Paul said to the church at Rome, which was a very cosmopolitan church. Romans chapter 16, verse 16, salute one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. And then in 1 Corinthians chapter 16, verse 20, all the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with a holy kiss. Romans chapter 12, greet one another with a holy kiss. Three times he said that, so I want you to turn to the person next to you. Wait a minute, Pastor.

Do you see who's sitting next to me? If you think for a minute. But what does this mean?

What does this mean? Here it is, salute one another with a holy kiss. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

Three times it's mentioned. We are to greet one another. Now what is a holy kiss? It's not an erotic kiss. It's not a kiss on the mouth. In the Bible, people would kiss on this side and kiss on that side.

The men would kiss the men, the ladies, the ladies. Not a thing in the world or a thing in the world. There's nothing wrong with that. But that was a custom then.

Customs change. The Bible says that we are to render custom to whom custom is due. What that really means is show acceptance in a very warm and in a very wonderful way. By the way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a holy kiss. If you want to do that and feel comfortable, that's fine. But what he's saying is this, that we need a warm fellowship. Does that make you uncomfortable when somebody touches you?

Or if I say now reach out and take hands across the aisle and let's say we're one in the bond of love, you just kind of want to go, I don't want to touch anybody. Do you know folks like that? Hey, folks. There are people who are going to die and go to hell because we're so self-centered. You say, well some people just don't like that. That's true. Some don't.

But most do. And the bigger we get, the more loving we need to become. Now I'm not talking about pawing over people.

I'm not talking about manhandling people. I am just talking about being warm and loving and caring one for another. We're to treat one another as members of the same body. We are in the family together. And so we are to greet one another.

We are to submit one to another. Look, if you will, in chapter 5, verse 18. It's a command to be filled with the Spirit and be not drunk with wine.

We're in his excess. But be filled with the Spirit. Why did he say don't be drunk with wine but be filled with the Spirit? Why didn't he say don't commit adultery but be filled with the Spirit? Or don't steal but be filled with the Spirit? Because being drunk with wine is the devil's substitute for being filled with the Spirit.

He's talking here not only in contrast but in comparison. Being filled with the Spirit is a lot like being drunk with wine. On the day of Pentecost, Peter said these men are not drunk as ye suppose.

They were drunk on new wine. They were filled with the Spirit of God. And when they were filled with the Spirit of God, they became free in their spirit. And then verse 19, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now here's our one another verse, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. We are to submit ourselves one to another. What is biblical submission? It is one equal willingly and lovingly placing himself under another equal that God made therefore and thereby be glorified. Do you know, in a body, the various members of my body at various times have to submit to the other parts of my body.

That's just all there is to it. We're in the body of Christ and we care for one another. Therefore, there are times when I must submit to you. I am the pastor, but I must submit to you. You must submit to one another. We all will come to a place sometimes when it is right to submit and somebody else to lead. I think it was Bill Gothard who said, when you show people their rights, you'll have a revolution.

Show them their responsibilities and you'll have a revival. When a man says, I know my rights, what rights does a dead man have? We are crucified with Christ. And we need to learn how to yield and give to one another and submit one to another. I want to mention another one now.

Ephesians chapter 4 verse 1, I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that you walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called with all lowliness and meekness with longsuffering. Now here's our one another. For bearing one another in love, for bearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. And notice the next phrase, there is one body.

Do you see that? Listen, look at it. For bearing one another. Turn to Colossians and look, if you will, in chapter 3 and verse 12.

Look at it. Put on therefore as the elect of God holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, here it is one more time, forbearing one another and we'll get to this next one in a moment, forgiving one another. But we're to forbear one another. What is forbearance? Why does he say this several times in the Bible? We're to forbear one another.

He's enduring in putting up with the displeasing, offensive or sinful attitudes or actions of other people. Now, folks, everybody in this church is not lovely. As a matter of fact, only one out of three is. Would you look at the person on either side of you? If it's not them, it's bound to be you. In all seriousness, if you were to start with a pastor, the man standing up here, and look me over real good, you'd find so many faults in me it'd be amazing.

It'd be embarrassing. And in any member of this church, the same thing would be true. Amen? Amen. And I know that I have habits and faults and foibles and idiosyncrasies that may rub you the wrong way.

And I think you just might have one or two. What we need to do, folks, is to understand that we're in it together. There will always be somebody who will say, man, the sound system is great. Somebody else will say, when are you going to tune that thing down? It's so loud. Somebody else will say, why do we always have to clap?

It's not a theater. Somebody else says, oh, I love it when we praise the Lord and say, clap your hands, all you people. If you were pastor, what would you do? Hey, folks, do you know what it takes to make a great church?

Forbearance. Say, amen. I mean, we're different. We don't all like the same thing, but we love Jesus and we love one another. You see, we're to love one another. We're to receive one another. We're to greet one another. We're to forbear with one another.

Say something else? We're to do. We're to confess to one another.

Look in James chapter 5 verse 16. Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed. Criticize one another.

Pray for one another. A confession of a fault is not a call to criticism. It's a call to prayer.

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. We're to confess one to another. Did you know that the failure to confess to one another holds back revival, forgiveness and healing?

You confess to one another so that we pray for one another so that we're healed. Do you know what real revival is? Real revival is not just getting the roof off. That's fairly easy. Real revival is getting the walls down.

You say, what do you mean? Well, getting the roof off is saying, God, forgive me. Here's thus and thus and thus have I done. But when we go to one another and we confess our faults one to another and pray for one another, that's when that real koinonia begins. That's when that real fellowship, that caring for one another.

Hey, there are a lot of us tonight who need somebody to pray for us, don't we? But we're either so rotten proud or else we don't trust that person that we don't confess our faults one to another. Now, be careful here.

The devil can take anything and take it to an extreme. The circle of confession ought to be as big as the circle of need. Sometimes there's some very personal and private things. Be very careful to whom you confess that. Sometimes there's somebody that you have wronged, then you need to confess that person.

Very private sin, private confession, personal sin, personal confession, public sin, public confession. But what we need to do is to begin to pray for one another. None of us is perfect. No, if there were less criticism in churches and more prayer, what a mighty healing there would be physically and spiritually.

I'm coming to the close. But I think all of these kind of come to a head in this last one, Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 32. Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. Again, as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. An unforgiving spirit has ruined so many churches. Has somebody done you wrong?

So what's new? When you fail to forgive, refuse to forgive, you destroy the bridge over which you yourself must travel. For Jesus said, If you forgive not men, their trespasses against you, neither shall your heavenly Father forgive you, your trespasses against him. That brings up a very interesting question. Can you forgive somebody if they have not yet repented?

No. The Bible says, If your brother sinned against you seventy times seven, and come and say, I repent, you forgive him. Now, if he's not repented, you can't forgive him. And yet, you cannot have an unforgiving spirit.

So what do you do in a case like that? Well, if he repents, you always forgive him. But what if he continues to sin against you? You can't just say, Well, I forgive, I forgive. Even Jesus didn't forgive like that. God doesn't forgive unless there's repentance. When Christ was on the cross, He didn't say to those who were nailing Him to the cross, I forgive you. He prayed for their forgiveness.

I believe that prayer was answered on the day of Pentecost for many of them. Well, what do you do in a case like this? I mean, when there's somebody who has, perhaps, egregiously sinned against you, and you don't want to carry that bitterness in your heart, and yet you cannot forgive because they have not yet repented, what do you do? What you do is you put that forgiveness in the bank in escrow from you.

From your heart, you say, There it is, Lord. I forgive them. And whenever they write a check of repentance, it's already in the bank, ready to be drawn on.

You see what I'm talking about? From your viewpoint, you've already forgiven. But from their viewpoint, that forgiveness is not yet received until they do repent. But as far as you're concerned, you have already forgiven. Isn't that what God has done when Jesus died on the cross? There is a legacy of forgiveness for every one of us, but it never becomes ours until we claim it by repentance and faith. Yet in the great, loving heart of God, He died for every one of us. And that's the spirit we've got to have, folks, in this church.

That's what we've got to have. This church is a body. We are the body of Christ. We're to care for one another. We're to love one another. We're to receive one another. We're to forbear one another. We're to greet one another. We're to confess one to another. We're to forgive one another. And when we begin to do that, folks, I mean really do it, this church or any church will become a little colony of heaven. What a fellowship.

So let's just kind of make ourselves a committee of one to get it started. Let that love be the love of God shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. Amen. Pray with you and for you. If you can go to our website homepage at lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to find our prayer wall. There you'll find the option to either submit a prayer request or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for each other's needs.

We can't wait to hear from you today. Again, go to lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. Now, if you'd like to order a copy of today's message, call us at 1-877-LOVE-GOD and mention the title Faithful in Friendship. This message is also part of the insightful series Factors of Faithfulness. For that complete collection, all seven powerful messages, call 1-877-LOVE-GOD or go online to lwf.org slash radio.

Or you can write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Thanks for studying God's word with us today. Are you a member of a church body that exhibits love, reception, greeting, submission, forbearance, confessions, and forgiveness?

Be the church member and faithful friend you want to have. We hope you'll join us next time for more profound truth simply stated right here on Love Worth Finding. We'd love to send you our tapestry, faith and forgiveness journal. Adrian Rogers said your faith is the measure of your victory and success. This beautiful, flexible, leather-bound journal is full of nuggets of wisdom and insights that are sure to encourage and equip you in your faith. Request Tapestry, Faith and Forgiveness Journal when you call with a gift at 1-877-LOVE-GOD or give online at lwf.org slash radio.