Adrian Rogers was a motivator, an encourager, and a leader of the faith. He was also passionate about presenting scriptural application to everyday life circumstances. And you'll hear that in today's message.
Now, let's join Adrian Rogers. Take God's word now and look at it. Psalm 100. And 28.
Now just keep that in mind and let me tell you That when Mary Magdalene came to the empty tomb that Easter morning, She saw someone. It was the Lord Jesus. And she didn't know it was Jesus. At first, she thought perhaps it was the gardener. And then he spoke to her.
She recognized him and said Yeah. Herabonai are our master. And she ran to him. And Jesus said to her, and you'll find all of this, by the way, in John chapter 20, but just keep your Bible right there in the book of Psalms. And she ran to him.
Reached out to touch him, and he said to her, Now Mary. Don't touch me. Yeah. I have not yet ascended. Two My Father And Your Father.
Now I'm going to use that just as a springboard. To talk to you about fathers. God spoke to Mary Magdalene, out of whom had been cast seven demons. I wonder if she had ever known a father's love. And Jesus said, Mary, my Father.
And your father. What a premium the Bible places upon fatherhood. And today, the title of the message is Father. the leader of the band. The father is the leader of the band.
There's to be harmony in the home. There's to be the music and the lilt of laughter. There is to be lullabies and melodies, and the entire home is to be a symphony of praise. But I want to tell you, my dear friend, that the Father is the leader of the band. I want us to read here what Psalm 128 has to say about fatherhood.
Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be And it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Thy children like olive plants round about by table.
Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed. that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion, and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace. upon Israel.
Indeed, Dad is the leader of the band.
Now fellas, listen to me. It isn't. difficult to be a good man. The even more difficult to be a good husband. But most difficult of all, and I think you would have to agree if you think about it, is to be a good person.
Dead. And yet, most important of all, is to be a good dad. May I tell you that this Psalm tells you how you can be a good dad and a happy dad. Notice how it begins: blessed. Do you see that?
You see the word blessed? The word blessed there in the Hebrew language is in the plural. It literally means, and I guess our best translation of the word blessed would be happy. And it's double. What he's talking to you about is how to have double joy.
Blessed, blessed, happy, happy. But my dear friend, if you don't do what's in this psalm, you're going to have double trouble.
So if you like double joy. If you'd like to be the kind of a dad that the Bible says you ought to be and need to be, I want you to tune in because I'm going to give you from this Psalm five ways that you can be that kind of a dad that you ought to be. First of all, I want you to see the character that He lives. The character that he lives. Notice in verse 1: blessed is everyone, doubly happy is everyone that what?
that feareth The Lord. that walketh in his ways. Prime requisite for being a good daddy is to fear God. And to be happy is to fear God.
Now, how many formulas for happiness would you think would begin this way? Fear God. Most people think, well, happiness comes from marriage. Our money. Our materialism.
Our fame or success, our fitness. But the Bible says, happy is the man that feareth the Lord.
Now that doesn't mean there's a dread of God. Oh no. The fear of God is pure and clean. The fear of the Lord is just simply love on its knees. The one who loves God the best fears God the most.
And a good dad is to have a character so that he fears God. And as a result of fearing God, He walks in the way of God. He shows it by the way that he lives.
Now dads Are you listening, dads? There is nothing more important than your integrity.
Now you might fail in a lot of different ways. But oh, if you just simply fear God, and live with integrity. You see, you cannot teach what you do not know. You cannot come from where you've not been. You cannot give what you do not have.
You must fear God. You must walk in integrity. What do you want to be remembered for? I was thinking as I was preparing this sermon, what will my children remember me for? First I thought they'll remember my sermons.
Then I laughed. I can't even remember them. They're not going to remember my sermons. Do you know what I want my kids to remember me for? I want them to say my dad feared God.
My dad walked. in the ways of God. That's what I want to be remembered for. I remember when our first son was born, Joyce and I were in school. I was working my way through school, and we were living from hand to mouth.
And I mean, it was God's hand to our mouths, friend. It was so difficult, and we had planned to have a son while we were married. We had several children while we were going to school, and we planned to have, well, we planned to have a child, didn't plan to have a son, but anyway, it was a son. We just would have been happy with a daughter. We have now five children.
We have one little boy in heaven, and we have two sons and two daughters. But our first son, was named Steve. And when that night, when George gave me that elbow, I don't know why they always come in the middle of the night, but she said, Adrian. I think it's time. Boy, I'm telling you, I had played football and done some other things, but I was scared to death.
My heart went boom, boom, boom. And she said, Adrian, you're supposed to call the doctor and tell him. Uh that we're on our way. And we lived in a little house trailer. Folks, we didn't have a telephone.
We didn't even have a bathroom in that little house trailer. We had to go to the communal bath there. And so I went out to the communal hall there to use the phone. It was about 2 in the morning. And it was locked.
I said, oh dear God, it can't be locked. I mean, I've got to use the phone. This is an emergency. I went to my car and got a tire iron and pried open the window. And I said, Boy, if I get caught doing this, I'm in real trouble.
But I mean, this is an emergency. And then. I dived in the window and banged my shins and fell on the floor and ran to the phone and it was a pay phone. I didn't have anything. Oh God.
Out the window, I went back in the house looking for a nickel, and then back again, and dialed with nervous fingers, and finally told the doctor, I said, Doctor, we're on our way. And I remember waiting out there. I didn't have anybody to wait with me. I was just by myself there. After a while, They came out.
They said, you've got a son. And I remember seeing my wife. And that boy. as they wheeled past me and I looked at my own flesh and blood. I went back to that little house trailer.
Got on my knees. And I prayed like this. I said, Lord. If I never preach a good sermon, If I never passed her, A significant church. If I never have any possessions.
That's not the important thing. Mm-hmm. God. I pray that this boy will know That his daddy loves Jesus. I want my children to think that Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were the Jesse James boys compared to their daddy.
I want them to believe. in the God that I fear. And I'm going to tell you something, dads. Number one. Number one.
Number one in being a good dad is the character. That he lives. Integrity, integrity. My kids know I have faults, I have a lot of them, and they could stand up and say, Dad has faults, but I'll tell you one thing they will do. They'll say, my dad is real.
My dad is honest. My dad loves God. I know they'd say that. My dear friend, your children need a dad. that fears God.
A dad that walks with integrity.
Now, secondly, I want you to see not only the character that he lives, but the contentment. that he learns. Look if you will in verse 2. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
Do you see it? Happy? Do you see it? Well, He's speaking of contentment. He's talking here about a working man.
Who goes out and labors. And no matter what his labor may be, whether he works from the neck up, or from the neck down. He is a laboring man, and he comes home and he eats the fruit of his labor. There's something very wonderful about honest work. There's something very wonderful about providing for your family and coming home and enjoying what God has given.
And God has a way of taking care of the godly. You know, the Bible says in 1 Timothy 6, verse 6: For godliness with contentment is great gain. Do you know the problem of many dads? They're just simply not content. There's never enough.
If he's making $25,000, he wants to make $35,000. Making $35,000, he wants to make $50,000. Making $50,000, he wants $75,000. $75,000, he wants $150,000. He is never satisfied.
To just simply come home and to be happy with his family, he's always earning a living and forgetting to live a life. Again, Joyce and I, we've had some heartaches. We've had a lot of heartaches. We had a a little boy to die. And he died one of those Crib deaths.
Right before that little boy had died, we just moved to our first church out of seminary and bought a few hundred dollars worth of furniture.
Well, our furniture, you could hardly call it furniture while we were going through school and We had bought. A low couch and A little coffee table. And I was grateful for it. And when that little boy died, I remember coming back to that little house and looking at that furniture. And when I looked at it, It would have had to have improved to have been counted worthy to be called junk.
Now I hope you understand what I'm talking about. It was nice, a little nice piece of furniture. But I thought I thought How? Ebbed. Absolutely.
Exactly. Morthless. Is that? Junk! compared to my baby boy.
compared to my baby boy. And I think at that time, I've had to remind myself about it from time to time, but I saw at that time how absolutely worthless. Are the things of this world in comparison to the things that really count. I'm not against having nice things. I want nice things and I hope you have nice things.
But Joyce and I made up our mind then, and we discussed it with one another and made a vow. that we would never Get upset. over the loss of anything material. and that we would never truly own anything.
Now we may have the title to it. And someone may say that's yours, but we've made up our mind that it is not ours. We're only stewards. And, dear friend, that has given us a freedom and a liberty in life not to own anything. You see, listen, what is an ideal dad?
Number one, there is, my dear friend, the character that he lives, and number two, the contentment that he learns, and then number three, look at it here. The companion that he loves. Look in verse three: thy wife. Shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, thy wife. Like a fruitful vine.
Now what does a vine do?
Well, a vine just grows up the wall. And if it's fruitful, it breaks out in clusters of grapes. And God describes the wife this way, as a fruitful vine. That means she is a faithful wife because she clings to him just like a vine clings to a wall. He is her support.
And by the way, a husband is to be to a wife what a wall is to a vine. He is to be the support. He is to be the strength. He's to have that rock-like strength, and she's to have that tenderness, and she's to put out her tendrils, and she's to cling to him. To him alone.
She is to be a faithful wife. and she is to be a fruitful wife. Does that Characterize your wife. By the way. The next time you criticize your wife's judgment, Remember, she married you.
A Faithful wife. clinging to her husband. He, her strong support. and a fruitful wife. That's what this verse 3 says.
By the way, my dear friend, thank God for children. The Bible says, just look in the Psalm before this one. You're in Psalm 128. Look, if you will, in. Psalm 127, verse 3, Lo children are an heritage of the Lord.
And the fruit of the womb is his reward. And then, verse 128, verse 3: And thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine. These two psalms are put side by side. They're psalms on the home. And what they tell us, oh, my friend, the children are not a burden.
Children are a blessing. I have been impressed today that those who mostly should be having children are the ones who are mostly not having children. And the reason that a lot of our young yuppies don't have children today is they're trying to accumulate things. And they read all of these things in good housekeeping and so forth: how much it costs to rear a child, and how much it costs to put one in college, and this and that. And friend, it does cost a lot.
I mean, you're looking at a guy suffering from maltuition. Huh. It does cost a lot. But let me tell you something. The Bible says that children are the heritage of the Lord.
That's your wealth. Not your money, not your house, not your car. That's not your wealth. People say, well, children make a rich man poor. No.
They make a poor man rich. The rich man can't take his money to heaven. I'm taking all my children to heaven. You see, children are the heritage of the Lord. And so here's the faithful father.
Not only is the character that he lives and the contentment that he learns, but the wife. That he loves. And she's like a fruitful vine, a faithful wife, and a fruitful wife. And then number four. The children that he leads.
The children that he leads, look in verse 3 again. And thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Children like olive plants. Did you know that the olive Is a symbol in the Bible of fruitfulness and righteousness. Psalm 52, verse 8, put that in the margin there.
The psalmist said, But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever. You want your children to be like green olive trees in the house of God, trusting in the mercy of God? That's what he's talking about, like olive trees. The idea is around thy table.
The idea is: here's a venerable old olive tree. And around that olive tree are green shoots that are coming up. And this olive is just reproducing himself in his children. This is what he's talking about. Did you know that an established olive tree If it's well established, People can eat fruit from that olive tree for 20 generations.
An olive tree is slow to grow, but it's a thing of beauty. A thing of productivity, a thing of fruitfulness.
Now, Let me tell you something, Dad. Listen to me. Your wife is like a vine. Your children are like olive plants.
Now what does that tell you?
Well think. Both must be cultivated. That's what it tells you. I mean, they're not like sticks and stones. They're like a vine.
And like olives, like an olive plant. Wise is the dad that understands, therefore, that it is his duty and privilege. To cultivate his wife's love and her needs, and to cultivate his children and their needs. But you know what the curse of today is It's not juvenile delinquency. It is not a generation gap.
I'll tell you, my dear friend, what the curse of today is. It is not. primarily working mothers, it is not the feminist movement. We guys would like to shove the blame away. May I tell you what the 20th century curse is?
It is dropout dads. Yeah. It is drop out dads. And if you're an absentee dad, let me tell you the effect it's going to have on your daughter. Let's just talk about your daughter for a while.
I'll tell you one thing she will do. If she does not have a dad's love, she's going to re-reject her own attractiveness. She's going to get the idea I'm not pretty. She may even reject her own femininity. I mean, after all, if I couldn't attract my dad's attention, how could I hope to attract somebody else?
I'll tell you what else she's going to do. She's going to have an inordinate craving for attention. She's going to love to be held. and she'll never seem to get enough. and it's going to make her vulnerable.
There's some young man who will gladly give her those embraces. In exchange. for other pleasures. I'll tell you what else it's going to do. She is going to be given to a spirit of rejection.
And when she sees any kind of Hostility, big or small. Any kind of inconsistency in somebody else. She's going to say, that's rejection. They're rejecting me. Because she is going to feel that she is rejected, and it's going to be seen in all of her.
Relationships. I'll tell you something else is going to happen to her, Dad, if you don't spend time with her and cultivate her. Your own daughter. She is going to seek the company of older men. She may even marry an older man.
Because what she's looking for somehow is a dad. She may even marry a daddy figure, and then this is going to lead to perhaps sexual dysfunction. because she can't imagine herself going to bed with her dad. Tell you what else is going to happen? This is the saddest of all.
She's going to find it difficult to trust. Her Heavenly Father. Because she's going to think of her heavenly father in terms of her own father. If you dads only knew how important it is that you spend quality time cultivating that green olive plant that's in your home, but I'm going to tell you something else. What about the effect of a dropout dad on a son?
An absentee dad on a son, I'll tell you what's going to happen. He's going to be another one of these macho men.
Now the reason he's going to turn out to be a macho man is he's trying to hide his insecurity. Almost every one of these macho men, if you scratch them deep enough, are a bundle of insecurity. Who are they kidding? Just scratching. He's so insecure.
And I'll tell you why he's so insecure. He's never known a daddy's love like he ought to know a daddy's love. And he's going to find himself, he's going to find himself looking to his mother. For a role model. And if he doesn't turn into a macho man, he's going to turn into an effeminate man.
Maybe a loss of masculinity. As a matter of fact, he may even seek masculine attention. And you might be sowing the seeds of homosexual interaction in him. He wants your love, Dad. He wants you to hug him and kiss him.
If he doesn't understand that kind of love, he may think that sex is love. That's why so many boys are running around with this kind of trouble. He's going to have the same feelings of rejection that a daughter may have, and I'll tell you what else he may do. He's going to marry somebody like mom, another dominant woman. And she has to be dominant because dad is dropped out.
And then the whole syndrome starts all over again. You know what's the problem with so many dads? I'll tell you very frankly, my dear friend, We live in a day where it's easier to make money than it is to be a daddy.
Now you listen to me. And therefore we hire professionals. To do for us what we ought to do for ourselves. For example, It used to be that dad would sit in an easy chair and read stories to the children. You don't need to read stories to the children anymore.
You don't need to read Jack and the Beanstalk or David and Goliath or whatever. Just turn on the television. And there's the roadrunner. Or whatever. I mean, you don't have to do that anymore, right?
And now, since you don't have to do that, you've got more money. I mean, you've got a professional storyteller. You've got more money. Hot dog, you can buy a bigger television. Isn't that wonderful?
I'll tell you what else you can do. You don't have to teach him now because now we have professional educators. We can send him off to school and the professionals will educate him. They'll have him every morning from 8 to 3 in the afternoon, five days a week. And you can make more money.
And you know what you can do, Dad? You can send him to a better school where professionals will tell him about the birds and the bees. And they'll have sex education and all of that thing right there. I mean, after all, the professionals will do that for you, Dad. I'll tell you what else you can do when you will make enough money.
Why, you won't even have to cut your own grass. You can have a professional to come over and mow the lawn and take care of the yard, and your boy won't have to do that. You can free him to run around in the neighborhood. And time for him to learn how to play baseball. Hey, Dad, if you work hard enough, I'll tell you what you can do.
You won't have to go out there and throw the ball with him at night time. And dusk. Out there on the street, why you can let him join one of these high clubs and a professional will teach him how to hold the bat. A professional will teach him how to throw a curve. And I'll tell you what you can do: you can buy him the best equipment known because you're making lots of money, Dad.
I'll tell you what else: a professional can teach him how to swim. You won't have to go to the lake on Saturdays. You can play golf. And a professional will teach your boy how to swim somewhere down there. And hey, if you get good enough, you can buy him a swimming pool.
Wouldn't that be wonderful? And when he gets to high school and has trouble, you know what you're going to be able to do? Hey! You're going to have enough money to get him a professional counselor. I mean nothing but the best for my son, right?
Yes, sir. A professional counselor is going to sit down and talk with him with all that money that you've earned. Time for him to drive. A professional can teach him to drive. Ha ha, well I'll tell you what you can do, Dad.
You can buy him a new car. Boy won't eat that. You won't have to go out and get your fingernails greasy. changing spark plugs. And working on an old conker.
No, sir, your boy. He's going to have a nice car, isn't he? But I'll tell you what he needs. He needs a Daddy. And he needs an amateur dad who is better than any professional ever made.
That's what he needs. I mean that your son is to be like a green olive tree. Your daughter is to be like a green olive tree round about your table. One last thing. I want you to see not only the children that he leads.
But I want you to see, my dear friend, the contribution that he leaves. The contribution that he leaves. Look, if you will, in verses 4 and following. Behold, behold. That thus shall the man be blessed.
That feareth the Lord. Oh, what a blessing this is. Thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion. Thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life.
Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace. upon Israel. Oh, what a blessing that would be. Your children's children. Your grandchildren serving the Lord.
You say, Pastor, I just feel so inadequate.
Well, so do I, friend. That's the reason I'm glad for the psalm just above this one, Psalm 127, verse 1, that says, except the Lord build a house. They labor in vain that build it. You see, you can't do it. God will do it, and He'll do it in you.
Listen, folks, I don't know what kind of family you came from. I don't know what your background is. There's so many you were raised in a home where there was child abuse You were raised in a home where there was drunkenness. You were raised in a home where there was greed and selfishness. There are many of you sitting here who say I'd give anything.
I mean, you're grown people. If my dad had just put his arms around my neck and tell me he loves me. I mean, just if my dad would tell me he loves me.
Well, they're supposed to know I love them. The deepest need of your heart. Is for a dad just to hug you and say, I accept you, you're good, I approve you. But you don't have a dad like that, and maybe you never will have a dad like that. But you listen to me, my dear friend.
Somebody has to break the cycle. You can't do anything about your ancestors, but you can certainly do something about your descendants. I mean, you can say, maybe I didn't have that kind of a home, but thank God I've got a church and I've got a pastor and I've got the word of God and I can break the cycle. And the Bible says in verse 6, I'll see my children's children. That is, I'm going to see the peace of God upon my children's children if you'll start in time.
One father said, if I had to do all over again, here's what I'd do. I'd love my wife more in front of my children. I'd laugh with my children more at our mistakes and our joys. I'd listen more even to the youngest child. I'd be more honest about my own weaknesses and stop pretending perfection.
I would pray differently for my children. Instead of focusing on them, I'd focus on me. I would do more things with my children. I would be more encouraging and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to little things, deeds, and words of love and kindness.
And finally, if I had it to do all over again, I'd share God more intimately with my family. I would use every ordinary thing that happened. In every ordinary day, to point them to God. Dads If there's going to be the music of marriage. You're going to have to see to it.
that God has made you. The leader of the band. Let's pray. Father God, I've spoken to my own heart now. And Lord, I pray that you will bring this message home not only to me.
But to us, And God give us better fathers. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you would like to learn more about how you can know Jesus or deepen your relationship with him, simply click the Discover Jesus link on our website, lwf.org. For a copy of this message or additional resources, visit our online store at lwf.org.
or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.
