Safe Sex

Adrian Rogers was a motivator, an encourager, and a leader of the faith. He was also passionate about presenting scriptural application to everyday life circumstances. And you'll hear that in today's message.

Now, let's join Adrian Rogers. I want you to open your Bibles to 1 Corinthians 7. And when you find it, I want you to look up here. I want to talk to you on this subject. Safe.

Sex. I'm aware, if nothing else, I have your attention. I want to tell you something, folks. Only twice. In the history of recorded civilization, Have we seen a complete disintegration?

of the home. One time Was 300 years before Christ, 300 BC. The ancient Greek civilization The other was in 33 AD. The Roman Empire. Both of these disintegrated.

But it began with the disintegration of the family. The family went first. Then there was the culture. And then there was the fall. of that nation.

America is on the brink. of disintegration. One day somebody may write the rise and the fall. of the American Empire.

Now it need not happen. Because God still moves. But my dear friend, If we do not come to a grip, with what God who made us has to say about sex. You can write America off. She will not.

survive.

Now I want to talk to you. about the way for a happy marriage and for safe. Sex. I want you to look with me and 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 1.

Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife. And every woman. Have her own Husband. I call that the sanctity of safe sex.

God has set some definite boundaries. and for the physical act of marriage. And without these boundaries, a nation A city? A family. cannot exist.

Can you imagine what it would be like? Trying to play a football game. Without any rules? Without any boundaries? Fullback gets the ball and he goes up through the stands with it.

A lot of folks that get hurt.

Now God has given some boundaries. Not to harm us. but to help us, to protect us. Inside these boundaries, sex is a wonderful gift of God.

Now God's plan in sex is to bring a man and a woman in the sanctity of marital love, to a sense of oneness where they become One Flesh. Over here on a mountainside, A little stream begins to bubble up out of the ground. There's a little spring there. The water comes up and it begins to bubble up and trickle down the mountainside. Over here.

on another mountainside. Another little spring bubbles up out of the ground. And the water begins to trickle down. And this stream. finds that stream.

And those streams flow together. And the waters mingle. Not to be separated again, and then it begins to flow ever wider and deeper. That's what a marriage is to be. Over here somewhere.

A little girl is born. Over here somewhere. A little boy is born and guided by the providence of God. Guided by the unseen hand of God, those lives come together and they blend and they become one flesh. That's what we call the sanctity of safe sex.

I want you to notice the selflessness of safe sex. Look on, if you will, in verses 3 and 4. Let the husband Render unto the wife. Do benevolence. And likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power. That word power means authority. of her own body. But there has been. And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body.

But the wife. Malb. What is the selflessness? of safe sex. It is the giving of oneself.

The key word here is the word render. Let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence. And likewise also, the wife render to the husband. Lust is always marked by getting. Love, real love, is always marked by giving.

And God uses this word render, which literally means to give. And notice it is the husband who is mentioned first because the husband is to be the initiator. Verse 3, let the husband give to the wife her due. that kind, loving, sexual embrace. That is due to her.

And God made the husband to be the initiator. He made the wife to be the responder. And if the husband wants his wife to respond in love, he is to render to her. that intimacy.

Now I heard of a wife who got so frustrated with her hard-headed husband. She hit him in the head. with a pot full of geraniums. When somebody said, Why did you do that? She said, It was an advertisement I saw which said, Say it with flowers.

Many times we husbands are so hard-headed.

So stupid. We don't know how to show that love, that benevolence to our wife. There is a selflessness in safe sex. But I want you to notice not only the sanctity of it. and the selflessness of it.

But I want you to notice the security of it. Notice in verse 5. Befraud ye not one the other. except it be with consent for a time. that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer.

And come together again.

Now he's talking about sexually. Come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. That means because of your lack of self-control.

Now friend, the way to have a secure home is to see that God has one plan and one plan only for a husband, and a wife or a man and a woman. To come together sexually, it is in the bonds of holy matrimony. God says it is to be a selfless thing, a giving thing. He calls it benevolence. And God says if we'll do this, there'll be a security.

But if we don't do this, we leave ourselves wide open. to an attack by the devil. an unloving home is an insecure home. An unloving home, a home that does not have a proper sexual attitude. is a home that is open to an attack.

by the enemy.

Some wives need to read this very carefully. They specially need to read verse 5, defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Some women need to understand that God has given their husband. A sexual drive. And it is a God-given drive. And lady? If you don't meet that drive, Somebody else will.

Or A part of him will die. You see, If somehow, some way... You don't give to your husband that romantic Physical love. that he needs. The devil is going to say to him, That's due to you.

If she doesn't give it to you.

Now she can't complain. if I cheat a little. The devil has done that to so many people. And, you know, sometimes a wife comes to me and. to counsel and I never have the courage to say sometimes what I feel like I ought to say but She says, you know, I believe my husband is running around on me.

It's not always the case, but sometimes, dear friend, I look at her. The way she keeps herself. She looks like something that Kaiser made when Fraser wasn't looking. Yeah. She just She doesn't care.

She doesn't. She goes around looking like an unmade bed. And he's off at work, and all of these slick chicks are there. walking around on their high heels and their faces all made up. He comes home and she meets him at the door in a faded house coat.

Different colored slipper on each foot. Orange juice cans in her head. I don't know why they put all that stuff up in. Lady, you ought to wise up. I'm not excusing the husband.

God will surely judge him if he's unfaithful to his wife. And he doesn't confess it and repent of it, God will surely judge him. But you see what you've done, lady, is you have given the devil an open door. You've said come on in Satan Wreck our home. It's not only the women who Withhold the romance.

Not only the women who Sometimes are cold and indifferent and frigid. How we need to understand, dear friend, there is the security of safe sex. The Bible teaches that we should earnestly try to satisfy the need of our partner.

Now, I want to move on. And I want to talk not only about safe sex, are the way of happiness for the married life. But I want to talk to you a little bit more about the way of helpfulness for the single life. It's very interesting. You say, Pastor, I'm not married.

And you said this is only for those who marry. What about me? What about the single life? See what God's word has to say. about the single life.

First of all, I want to say this about the single life. It is a good life. A good life. Look in verse 1 again.

Now, concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Doesn't say it's best. Just says it's good. It's okay. You don't have to be married.

And you're not losing some super happiness if you stay single. There is a bona fide single life, and it's time we learn that. It's good for a man not to touch a woman. And I think some of us who are married need to stop looking down our noses at people who have settled for the single status. I tell you there are a lot of things.

Worse than not being married, and number one is being married to the wrong person. One man said, For 25 years, my wife and I lived in perfect bliss. He said, well, what happened then? He said, well, we got married. I ruined it.

Yeah. It is a good life, verse 1. But it is a gifted life. Verse 6. Paul says, I speak this.

by permission and not of commandment, for I would that all men were even as myself. Paul, when he wrote this, was unmarried. He had been married, I believe, but he was now unmarried. I think he was a widower. I speak this by permission, not of commandment.

For I would that all men were even as myself, but every man hath his proper gift of God. One after this manner, and another after that. Manner. That is, some people are gifted. to be single.

There are definite advantages to being single.

Now, when Paul says, I write this by permission, What he's literally saying is, I'm writing in a way of concession. I'm giving you permission. You don't have to get married. Paul is not beating the drum for the single life. He's just simply saying if you don't want to get married, that's all right.

He is saying That you're not going to be, however, more spiritual if you stay single. What Paul is saying is that there are some people who are called And some people who are spiritually gifted to serve God as single people. And that's the context that he's writing about here. Look in chapter 7, verse 26. He's talking to the single and he said, I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress.

I say that it is good for a man to so be. To so be what? Single. Why? Because of the present distress.

Then look, if you will, in verses 29 and following. For this I say, brethren, the time is short. They were in a state of emergency. It remaineth. That both they that have wives be as though they had none, and they that weep as though they wept not, and they that rejoice as though they rejoice not, and they that buy as though they possess not.

And they that use this world as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord. how he may please the Lord. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

When you get married, folks, you take on a load of obligation. A person, for example, might be called of God in an emergency. To serve God as a missionary in a particular mission field where it calls for a single person. He may want to be an itinerant person, to travel a lot. And God says for you, It's best that you stay single.

But... If that is God's plan for you, God will give you the gift. of celibacy.

Now if God doesn't give you that gift And if God doesn't give you that calling, You should assume that he wants you married. But if God gives you that gift, And God gives you that calling. Then thank God for it. But remember, it is a good life. It is a gifted life.

But it must be a guarded life.

Now, look, if you will, in verses 8 and 9 of this same chapter. He said, I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. It's good, it's fine. But now watch verse 9, every single person, you listen to this. But if they cannot contain, that is, if they cannot control themselves sexually, Let them marry.

For it is better to marry than to burn.

Now he's not talking about burning in hell here. He's talking about burning with the fires of lust. to burn with desire.

Now, if you find these flames of passion in your heart, You find that desire, that That that hunger for a wife. That hunger for that physical relationship. You must not. You dare not. come together sexually.

without being married. God says, if you can't control yourself, marry! But there's absolutely no Way under God's sun, that you're to be sexually active and please God. without being married. Do you understand that?

Dear friend, we need to be so clear about this matter. The single life is a good life. It is a gifted life. It is to be a guarded life. And therefore, it will be a godly life.

Look in chapter 7 and verse 32 again. But I would have you without carefulness. For he that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord. how he may please the Lord. Thank God for those who remain single.

That they can please the Lord. God gives them, calls them to this special life.

Now I want you to think Not only, therefore, about the way of happiness, For the married. Person. and the way of helpfulness for the single person. But I want you to think of the way of holiness. For every person, married or single.

Now let's back up before chapter 7 and look with me in chapter 6. Again? And see what the Apostle Paul is talking about. Look with me in 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 9. Know ye not?

that the unrighteous Shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Now, if you are living in sexual immorality, I want you to listen to me right now. Know ye not, don't you know? that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Be not deceived. Neither fornicators Nor idolaters.

Nor adulterers. nor effeminate That means perverts.

Sodomites Effeminate. nor abusers of themselves with mankind. Nor thieves. No covetous. No drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom.

of God. That doesn't mean if you've done any of these things that you can't go to heaven. But notice verse 11, and such were Some of you. But ye are washed You're sanctified. You are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God.

Thank God for that. I don't care how terrible your sexual sin may have been. Thank God for a God who can cleanse you, wash you, justify you, and sanctify you in His sight. But I'm going to tell you something. If immorality is your lifestyle, If you are practicing Premarital promiscuity.

Our post-marital infidelity And God doesn't lay the rod on you. I wouldn't give half a hallelujah for your hope of heaven. You're going to hell. They say, oh, Brother Rogers, don't say that, friend. God says it.

God says don't be deceived. How the devil has told this generation, I don't know how we get off with thinking we can just wave our hands in the face of God, say, God, I know you said thou shalt not commit adultery, but I'm going to commit adultery anyway, and I'm going to heaven. Oh God, I know you said flee fornication, but I am going to practice fornication and I'm going to heaven. No, you're not. No, you're not.

Be not deceived. God is not mocked. Who are you? Who do you think you are? That you're going to break the laws of God.

You're not going to do it. You say, do you mean, Brother Rogers, if I'm saved and I've committed that sin, I lost my salvation? No. No, dear friend, a Christian can slip and fall into temptation and fall into sin. I'll tell you one thing, if he's saved, the Holy Spirit will tear him up on the inside.

He'll repent. He'll get right with God. The Bible says that which is born of God does not habitually practice sin. When I was a youngster, I pastored a church down in Florida. I was pastoring a church when I was 19 years of age.

I was pastoring down in a little town called Fellsmere. My chief occupation was number one Sugar meal. Number two, frog hunting. Number three, moonshining. Three big industries out there.

Now I had a A frogger, professional frogger in my church, he'd go out at nighttime and gig frogs, made a good living out there in the swamps by the Everglades in that little sugar mill town. His name was Neil Shearer. He was a swarthy little man. About that high? Tough as a hickory nut.

He told me a story one time I shall never forget. He said, It's a true story. He said they used, before he got saved, he was a poacher. He would poach alligators. and kill alligators when it's against the law and skin them and sell their hides.

They would shine the headlight on those alligators. and then go up in that airboat alongside the alligator. Wouldn't shoot him with a gun. cause the game warden would hear it. Every one of those poachers carried a great big heavy hammer.

in his airboat. And he would idle that motor, that big prop on the back, airplane engine on the back of that airboat. He would idle that motor. He had that headlight on his head right between his eyes, shining that gator's eyes. He said, Pastor.

We would come up alongside that gator and lean out, and with that hammer, we'd hit him. right between the eyes and stun him, then cut his throat. No sound for the game warden to hear. Neil said to me, preacher, One day I came alongside the biggest alligator I have ever seen in my life. He said, I knew I was going to have plenty of money in my pocket.

He said, I idled the motor, I took my hammer, and you'd have to know Neil, you'd have to see him, swarthy little guy, muscular. He said, I took my hammer and I swung with all of my might. But he said I missed his head and the hammer went up. And when it did, it flipped me out of the boat, straddle that alligator. You know what he said to me?

He said, preacher, I got back in the boat without getting wet. Our friend. I want to tell you, a Christian can slip and fall into sin. We all know that. But you're going to fear sin like that man did that alligator.

I mean, don't tell me. Don't tell me that you are habitually practicing sin. You expect to meet God in heaven? Listen to what God says now. Listen to it.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived. Neither fornicators Nor idolaters. Nor adulterers. Nor effeminate.

nor abuses of themselves with mankind shall inherit. The kingdom of God. I'll tell you how fast you'll get to heaven. You'll get there just as fast as an idolater will. God puts it all in the same thing.

Now, friend, I am telling you, there is the way of happiness from the married life. There is the way of helpfulness for the single life. But there must be the way of holiness for every life. It's what God says.

Well you say, why did God say that? Why is God so hung up? On us living chaste and pure lives. I'll tell you why, because He loves you. When God says, thou shalt not, he's saying, don't hurt yourself.

When God says thou shalt, he's saying help yourself to happiness. Let me give you eight reasons. for keeping yourself morally pure. Number one. Immorality is psychologically harmful.

It is psychologically harmful. Francis J. Braceland. Who is the former president of the American Psychiatric Association said? Premarital sex relations resulting from the so-called numerality have greatly increased the number of young people in mental hospitals.

You're not smarter than God. It is psychologically harmful. Second reason. Immorality. kills true love.

When you commit immorality with any person, There is a basic loss of self-respect. The more permissiveness prevails in any society, The more women are looked on as objects to be used. rather than people to be loved. and tenderness. and real love.

disappear. Third reason. Immorality, premarital sex. always endangers future marital happiness. It follows as night follows day.

There is a loss of sensitivity. There's a loss of the true depth and beauty of love. Surveys have shown that those who were sexually pure when they went to the marriage altar have the highest opportunity and the most likelihood to have a happy marriage. You can understand why. Suppose a boy says to a girl, we're in love, and I love you so much, I just can't wait.

I can't stand it. And he talks her into giving in to his desires. Then later on He has to go overseas for a business trip, or he's in the Army, or he's away. She says, I know him. He's the kind of guy.

Who can't wait? But think about a man who loves a girl. And he respects her and keeps himself pure. Do you see the trust that that builds? Friend, you see, when people practice what the world calls safe sex, They cheat themselves so many times of their future happiness.

I tell our young people, you eat your cake now, you'll have a crummy tomorrow. Friend, God has a wonderful plan for you. Sex is so bad outside marriage because it's so good. inside marriage. Reason number four.

the most unstable people. are those who practice what is called free love. Which is a contradiction in terms because there is no such thing as free love. Love takes commitment. The less education a person has, the more his tendency to be impure.

The more education, the less tendency. Surveys have shown it is not the stable, growing, self-reliant personality that dabbles in free sex. More often It is the person who is insecure. who's anxious and who's fearful. Number five.

Immorality is one of the greatest dangers to any society. It was the sin that led to the downfall of Greece and Rome. but also of Egypt, Babylon. and other societies. Gibbons When he wrote of the fall of the Roman Empire, he listed that.

Uh in his first of five reasons. Immorality is the enemy of the home. And the enemy of the home is the enemy of the nation. I've been absolutely amazed. And surveys.

that I've read in the newspaper. Where people have been asked, does it make any difference to you whether a presidential candidate He is faithful to his wife for that. Would you vote for a man? Do they ever make any difference to me? It makes a difference to me.

I want to tell you, friend, when a man goes to the marriage altar and he takes a solemn vow! And he breaks that vow. Unless he repents of it with every inch and ounce of his heart, I can't trust him. I can't trust him. I don't see how anybody.

Good trust him. Put it down big. Put it down straight. Put it down plain. People who treat sex lightly.

We'll treat other people lightly. People who treat sex lightly. We'll treat other people lightly. Immorality is the enemy of the home society, the nation. Number six.

There's always the danger of conception. We hear people talk about illegitimate babies, illegitimate babies, illegitimate babies. My friend, there are no illegitimate children. But there are plenty of illegitimate parents. That little baby didn't ask to be born.

And every baby has the right, an unborn child has a right to come. To birth. and maturity. They also have a right to be born into a home where husband and wife are committed. one to another.

Number seven. There's the danger of disease. And it's a very real danger. Our high-powered drugs are failing us. And it is not just AIDS that we're facing.

All kinds of Numbing. Horrible, vile, filthy diseases are eating away. We're seeing a modern epidemic. Be not deceived. God is not mocked.

Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap. Number eight. There is the clear, plain teaching of the Word of God, and so you don't need the other seven reasons. Just got God's word. God's word says, thou shalt not commit adultery.

God's holy, inerrant, infallible word says, flee fornication. Hey folks, you're not smarter than God. You get an automobile, it has an instruction manual. It says put oil in the crankcase. You say, well, I'm going to put molasses in mine.

Well, help yourself. And they'll tow you in. God knows more about this than you know. Accept my faith that God loves you, friend. God's laws are for your welfare.

But I want to tell you, dear friend, not only are God's laws for your welfare, if you break God's laws, God's going to judge you. Law without penalty is only advice, and God's not giving advice. These kids are talking about going all the way. Oh, we went all the way. They don't know what they're talking about.

You haven't gone all the way yet. She gets pregnant. You have to go tell her dad. That you're going to have to marry her. You're going to have to face what he says to you.

You've gone a little But you haven't gone all the way. They say, I won't tell her dad. We'll get an abortion. We won't have this baby. Hey folks, that's where you're wrong.

You've already got the baby. just haven't been born yet. These people say, Are you going to have that baby? You've got that baby. What do you mean, are you going to have it?

The question is, are you going to kill it? Not are you going to have it? You've got the baby. And so, when you go to that abortion. And kill a baby.

You've gone a little further. But you haven't gone all the way. When you have a blood test. And the disease comes in your body. And they say there's nothing we can do for you?

You've gone a little further. But you ain't going all the way. You haven't gone all the way till you stand before God. Then you've gone all the way. You see, kids just don't understand what they're talking about when they say, oh, we're going all the way.

Safe sex. Get married. I ain't a good wife. Lover. Be loyal to her.

I'm so glad I went to the marriage altar a virgin and married a virgin. I wouldn't take anything from my Christian home. I'm not trying to put anybody under a guilt prick. Because the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses. And God forgives.

But I'm telling you, it's time that we parents and pastors and people held up a standard. He said, this is right. This is what God says. And it's good. There's the way of happiness for the married life.

There's a way of helpfulness for the single life. But there's to be the way of holiness. for every life. That, my friend, is safe sex. If you would like to learn more about how you can know Jesus or deepen your relationship with him, simply click the Discover Jesus link on our website, lwf.org.

For a copy of this message or additional resources, visit our online store at lwf.org or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.