Are you lonely? Do you need a friend?
Or better yet, do you need a friend that'll be there for a lifetime? Join me today as I show you from God's Word how to build friendships that last forever. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission of this daily program is to intentionally disciple Christians through the insightful Bible teaching of Chip Ingram.
We're nearing the end of his series, Love One Another. We pray this teaching has motivated you to radically love the people in your life as Jesus did. To help others learn as you have, would you take a minute after this message and share it with them?
You can do that through the Chip Ingram app or by sending them the free MP3s that you'll find at livingontheedge.org. You know, we all have those surface level relationships, but what does it take to have deep, meaningful friendships that can endure anything? Well, that's what Chip will help us understand today.
So go in your Bible to Romans chapter 12 beginning in verse 10 for Chip's message, how to build friendships that last a lifetime. I was with a fellow and his wife. He's 71. Last year at this time, he looked just like you, healthy, well, doing great. His hand was shaking just a little bit and got it checked out and I was with him and his wife Thursday. He's on a ventilator, a respirator. He has a neurological disease similar to Lou Gehrig's disease and he's not expected to live long at all. But his testimony as his family has come around him is, oh, what a love. We didn't talk about if he dies. We talked about when he died and what it was going to be like and we talked about kids who've come to know Christ and a connected family and people get along with one another and a great marriage and all the ups and downs, but finishing well, 71 great years with I'm not afraid to die and God's been good to me.
I don't know about you and I'm not sure how I'll end, but that's how I want to end. Let me ask you a question as we get started. What would it be worth to you to build intimate relationships that are really authentic and they would last your whole life? What would that be worth to you?
In fact, let me push it one more. Those of you that are married and have some kids and what would it be worth to you in dollars right now? If you knew the moment you died, all your extended family, brothers, sisters, all your kids had authentic, deep, loving relationships and were really connected and that after you died, things were going to go well. I mean in dollars, what would that be worth to you?
It would be worth a bunch, wouldn't it? On the very last night Jesus was on the earth, that was his heart's desire. His family, especially the 12, 11 of the 12, that after he left, they would be connected, they'd be authentic, they would be deep.
He knew that everything he lived for and the next day he was going to die, he knew it all hinged on whether they had deep, authentic, lasting friendships for a lifetime. And so he gives us the secret to how to have those and you can know it. On the front of your teaching handout, I put this phrase, it's unknown in its origin, at least to me, but it's there is no limit to what God will do if we don't care who gets the credit.
There is no limit to what God will do, not can do, if we don't care who gets the credit. And in that statement we're going to learn is the secret of lasting, authentic relationships. See, what we're going to look at is a quick snapshot and we're going to see the last night of Christ's life with his close disciples. And in that we're going to get a command to obey. He gives it to them and then later the apostle Paul gives it to us, honor one another. It means to esteem, it means to recognize, it means to value, it means to let other people have the limelight. It means to take your position and your power and all that you are in order to lift up other people.
Let them be recognized. And we're going to learn that the command that Jesus will teach his followers in this last night is they should honor one another above themselves. And then he'll give them a warning. He'll talk about if I being the Lord and the teacher, if I do this, this is at the heart of how relationships work.
And we'll get a warning that if it doesn't happen, if we don't honor one another above ourselves, you will end up like another conversation I had this week. I talked with a wife of a man who is in the twilight years of his life. His health is failing very rapidly. He does not have one single friend on the earth. He's a Christian. Not one. He's alienated his family, his friends, his fellow Christians.
Now he's afraid and he has no one. And if what you hear today, if you can choose and figure out how not to do it, what I can assure you is you will land like him. Or you can hear what Jesus taught these disciples about how to have these relationships and what it really means to honor one another. And you will get to seize an opportunity like few people. You have the opportunity to learn how to build the kind of relationships that in your twilight years with your family, if you're married, with your mate, with your kids, with your mom, with your dad, with coworkers, you can take it right out. What you're going to learn, you can take out in the marketplace.
And God says it will even work there. The secret of friendships that last for a lifetime. Turn the page with me and let's find out exactly what Jesus teaches and how he does it. As we hit this final part, we're going to learn that as we've looked at these one anothers, encouraging one another, admonishing one another, be devoted to one another, love one another, the way Jesus loves us. John 13, 34 and 35, a new commandment I've given to you that you love one another. How? Just as I've loved you.
Why? By this, how we love one another. Believers, he says that's how the world will know I'm legit. That's how they'll know I really came from the father. That's how they'll know that this is all true. And so that's where we started. Now where we're going to end is what happened before he said that. Because what he's going to say is that honoring others above ourselves is the acid test of how much we really love one another. All those one anothers that we've heard about, this is sort of the pinnacle.
This one cannot be faked. Those others have to be operating, but this is the test, the acid test of how much you love other believers and how much I love other believers. John 13, follow along as I read the first five verses. It was just before the Passover feast and Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the father. Having loved his own who were in the world, now, tonight, he showed them the full extent of his love.
The evening meal was being served and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God. So since he knew those three things, all things under his power, he came from God and he's going to God.
Since he knew, notice the application. So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing and he wrapped a towel around his face. After that, he poured water into a basin and he began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. Now, if you've never read or been exposed to the New Testament, you might be thinking, well, this is unusual. I guess that's maybe that's how they did it back then.
Let me give you a little background so you understand what's going on here. They would have, when you would go into a room, they would have a large basin, sometimes three or four feet high actually, and it would have water in it and there would be a little bowl and there'd be a towel and there's about three or four levels of servants in the New Testament culture. A bond servant or the lowest of the servants, this was his job, the lowest of the low. They would hire servants and then they would hire servants to serve them and then they had another layer and this was then. And when you would walk in, your feet would be dusty and it was not only cultural, but it was a sanitary issue. And so then they would wipe your feet and dry them off. The other thing about this is as you would come in this room, there was a low table about like this and they would eat around a low table, ancient Near East, and there would be pillows around and so that you would kind of lean. You hear the stories of the Last Supper and Jesus is leaning and this, well, it's because the table's real low and you would lean with these pillows and you could talk to one another, but that also meant that certain people's feet were near other people's face. So this idea of washing your feet was not just like a cultural deal. It was like, you know, you clean your feet, I'll enjoy my meal. So here's the situation. The 12 are walking in and they've been sent ahead on purpose. As you read the other gospels, they had an argument on the way.
What a discouraging thought for a teacher. You've been teaching these guys three years. They've seen the miracles. They've seen you raise people from the dead. They've heard all the sermons you've ever given and on the last night you're with them, what are they doing?
They're arguing about what? Who's number one? Who's number one? Pete says, it's me.
James says, no, it's me. I mean, they're just at each other's throats. And so they walk in after this argument about who is the most honored? Who should be recognized?
Who should get a title behind their name? Who's the most powerful? Who's the most esteemed? Who should everyone else look up to? That's what honor's all about. Who should be the most recognized?
Who should be the spokesman? And they walk in and then it's a familiar scene. They're going to have the Passover meal. They know all about the story, but there's no servant. Well, these guys are so arrogant. They not only don't wash their own feet, they don't wash each other's.
And you know, the dynamic of the room must have been just incredible. The first guy walks in, hey, no servant. He's got a decision to make.
Am I going to do my own? No, I'll wait for one of the lower level disciples to come in and take care of me. Well, he waits and no one gets it. One, two, three, four, five, six, twelve. Now they're all sitting around this table. They all know what's going on. And their pride is being revealed by what's between their toes. Now Jesus, being very secure, not needing position, not needing power, not needing a title, realized that, see, the sign of a good teacher is that people learn.
It's not how well you say something. And his goal was that they would learn. He's going to give them the most powerful snapshot, I believe, they ever received because they know who he was. And he did something that was just outlandish to them. So much so that one of them, the ringleader, Peter, would just bury, I think, his hands and his face and just go, oh, no, why didn't I? I would have gladly washed everybody's feet. And he was absolutely humiliated when there was only one person that they all knew shouldn't wash anybody's feet. And that was Jesus.
And he got up and did it. He was honoring them above himself. The acid test of your love toward other believers, where the encouraging, the admonishing, the devotion to one another, you know where it comes out? Where it comes out on the street level, for you and for me, is when we honor others above ourselves. When we, the slice of pie that we deserve, the limelight that we deserve, the recognition that we deserve, the attention that we deserve, you willfully step back and you give that to someone else.
Jesus said he was revealing the full extent of his love. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And before he continues our series Love One Another, have you ever questioned your life's purpose because your job, talents and personality don't quite match up? Join us after the teaching as Chip introduces a resource we have that'll help you appreciate how God's designed you and show you how to harness the exceptional gifts he's blessed you with.
Stick around to learn more. Well, with that, here's Chip to continue today's message. Well, he moves now from the example to the teaching time. Notice verse 12, we pick it up.
When he'd finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and he returned to his place. I bet you could hear a pin drop. Now, can you imagine being there and you're thinking, oh man, it's not like they haven't heard this message before. Do you understand what I've done for you? He asked. Translation, guys, do you get it?
I mean, do you get it at all? You call me teacher and Lord. He's identifying his position and rightly so, for that is what I am.
He wasn't disputing the fact, am I above you? Absolutely. Rabbi, teacher, esteemed position in that day. And I'm Lord, master, esteemed.
You got it right, guys. Now that I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's. Since I have taken my position and my power in order to honor you above myself, I just set an example and now I'm telling you, this is the way we followers of Yahweh treat one another. This is the new church, how we treat one another inside God's church, God's body, the body of Christ. This is how we function.
Why? Because this is how our leader showed us to function. You use your position and your power and your wherewithal to wash other people's feet.
Translation, to honor them. I have set an example that you should do as I have done for you. Not an example so you should know it. Not an example so you should memorize it. Not an example so you could tell the story. This is an example for real life Christians of every age to actually do it.
I mean, this is counterculture for them and for us. He goes on, I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. I mean, they all agree with that. Now get this, verse 17, now that you know these things, you will be blessed, you will be happy, you will find joy, you will find fulfillment. Real satisfaction comes, how? If you do them. Do them.
If you do them. Now what I'd like to do is give you some observations about, he's just given us a snapshot. He's now given us some teaching. Do you want to have lifelong relationships? Do you want to have relationships that will be deep and authentic and last? Then listen to these five observations and he's going to give us the secret of how to have those kind of relationships. Observation number one, honoring others is motivated by, I get it right out of verse one, love.
See something has to happen in your heart. I don't know about you but if I would have walked in the room and I would have known as Jesus did that these guys are arguing about who's being the greatest and I knew that, I mean tomorrow morning they're going to nail me on a cross. I believe I would have lined the guys up and said, you know what, I'm up to here.
I'm ready to check out. You think, you haven't listened to a single message I've got. I am sick of this kind of behavior. I wouldn't have reproved him gently but he did. He wasn't down on them. He understood them just like he understands you and he showed the full extent by giving them, we hate this don't you? What they don't deserve. I don't know about you, the only person I want to get what they don't deserve is me. I see that recognition of laughter.
Isn't it amazing how in every situation, what do we say? That's not fair. That's not right. That's not fair.
We want justice for everyone except for, yeah? Jesus didn't give justice. He was motivated by love.
Few things are as hard to give up as our position, control, esteem and ego to voluntarily serve others. But according to this passage, that's how he revealed the full extent of his love. I would have thought, oh the full extent must have been the teaching, it must have been the miracles, it must have been the counseling sessions.
Uh-uh. According to Jesus, the way we express the full extent of our love to other people is when we honor them. Not even equal to, but above ourselves. Second observation is security in God's plan allows us to choose downward mobility.
Did you notice that's what he did? Now, I mean, humanly speaking, he's Lord and teacher, but beyond humanly speaking, this is the Son of God, fully God, fully man. I mean, he spent time in eternity before this being worshiped by angels.
And he not only became downwardly mobile and was born in a little stall of a teenage girl, walked upon the planet, but now his last night. I mean, they should have been throwing a party for him and telling him how great he was. But it's, see the way God works it is, great leadership is not working your way up to the top until you get to call the shots. God takes that pyramid and he flips it upside down and he says the greatest leaders are servants.
People who use their power and position to leverage it to love other people. Why did he do that? Did you notice verse three? Why could Jesus do that? And why don't we? Well, why don't I?
I don't know that you're not. Did you notice in verse three, he knew three things. He knew God had given all authority, all power into his hands. He knew where he came from and he knew his certain future. He knew where he was going. See, he knew God's plan. He knew what God was doing that night.
He knew why he was there and how he got there and he knew for certain where he was going to be. You know what that produces? It produces security. See, you can become downwardly mobile.
The reason I don't want to be downwardly mobile, and most of you, is because we're insecure. And see, if you work and work and work where people finally think this of you or you have a good idea or you do something great, people have got to know about it. They've got to give you recognition. They've got to give you a patcher on the back. They've got to put letters behind your name. They've got to get you a reserved parking space.
They've got to do something. You have to drive a certain kind of car, live in a certain area, make so much money, have so many people report to you, have people involved in ministry sing your praises and talk about how wonderful you are because you've worked hard to get there, right? It gets kind of convicting when you say it that way, doesn't it? See, we long to be the one in the limelight. We long to be the person esteemed.
We long to be recognized because down deep we think that makes us a someone. But see, Jesus was secure. He knew who he was. He knew where he was going. That gave him the freedom to be downwardly mobile and use his power and his position to love people instead of using those things as badges to tell people he was okay.
See the difference? See, once you understand God's plan, who you are in Christ, once you understand you're going to land in heaven, once you understand what other people think about all those external things don't mean a thing, then you're free. See, when you know God's plan, you're secure. And what people think of you doesn't matter.
It allows you to be downwardly mobile. Third, honoring others begins in a very unique place. It begins with humility. Humility. The very last night Jesus was talking and modeling humility, the Apostle Paul, I think the greatest portion of the Christmas message isn't in Matthew, Mark, or Luke.
I think the greatest picture of the Christmas message is in Philippians chapter 2, where what we get is a behind-the-scenes look at what really occurred on that first Christmas morning. This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And you've been listening to part one of Chip's message, How to Build Friendships That Last a Lifetime, from our series, Love One Another.
Chip will be back shortly to share some helpful application for us to think about. We live in a very divisive, disconnected society that impacts our workplaces, homes, and even our churches. But what if we truly embraced Jesus' command to love one another? Imagine the transformative effect this mindset could have on our families and communities. In this timely series, Chip explains how this instruction can become a reality in our world. Hear what the Bible says about loving others and the practical ways we can live this principle every day. Don't miss a second of this series. Well, before we go on, our Bible teacher, Chip Ingram, is with me now to share something that's really close to his heart.
Thanks so much, Dave. You know, one of the greatest needs, I mean, one of the most passionate desires that every human being has, is we want to belong. We want to know that we really fit. And the Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians, there is one body, but it has many parts. And what he's saying there is that we belong to one another. We're a part of this supernatural community called the body of Christ. And we all play a different role. And the fact of the matter is that God has uniquely placed you in the body of Christ, where you help other people, and where they help you, and you actually make a difference. Unfortunately, I meet people all the time who are on the sidelines and they say, well, I don't think I really have any gifts. I don't think I have anything to offer. I don't think God could really use me. You know, I just, those other people and I'm sort of weighing in the background. When you're not involved, when you're not connected with the body, you'll never feel that sense of purpose and identity.
Here's the good news. We've created a resource called Your Divine Design that will help you on your own discover what your spiritual gift is, how to put it into action, and how to deploy it in the body of Christ. It's an easy read. It's very clear. And I really want you to get it.
What I know is this. There's all kind of needs in the body of Christ that God made you to fulfill if you just knew how He made you. And just this month, because we're a part of the body as well, every one of you who makes a financial donation, we will send this book to you absolutely free. We want you to feel apart. We want you to belong.
We want the body of Christ to thrive. Dave, could you give them the details about how to get that? Be glad to, Chip.
We'd love for you to join us and learn how to become a monthly financial partner by visiting LivingOnTheEdge.org or by calling 888-333-6003. And as Chip said, with your next gift, we'll send you a copy of Chip's insightful book, Your Divine Design, as our thanks to you. So go now to LivingOnTheEdge.org to learn how to give. App listeners, tap Donate, and we appreciate you doing whatever the Lord leads you to do.
Well, here again is Chip with some application from today's message. You know, there are some things in life that are so easy to know and yet so hard to do. I don't think there's anyone listening to my voice that would say, Oh, I think material possessions are a lot more important than material. And yet when you look at your schedule, I look at my schedule, when we look at our lives, do we really invest the time to build the kind of friendships that sustain us? Or do we get so busy and so pushed and so going in so many different directions that when we need help, when we want to have the deep sharing times, we realize we've not invested with other people to make that available. As a pastor, there's times when life stops and your schedule gets interrupted and you just do what you need to do. And one of those times is a funeral. And I had a four week period where literally every week for four weeks someone died, I buried them.
My life stopped. I had to prepare for the funeral. I had to meet with the family. And each time they were families where they allowed people to come to the microphone and talk about this person. And after about the fourth funeral and I leaned back in my chairs, I was listening to people talk and I realized, you know, we all made time to be here.
People flew across the country, schedules stopped, businesses stopped. Somehow there is time to do what's important once you know it's important. And then after four weeks in a row, I listened to people talk about their loved ones and no one said, wow, was he neat? He had a Rolex watch or wow, did you see the car he drove?
Or no one said, let me tell you about his 401k. They talked about the person. They talked about their life. They talked about relationship. They talked about time together.
Could it be that you need to reevaluate where your time's going and what you're putting into friendships and give yourself to that which is really going to last? Great challenge, Chip. And if you're looking for additional guidance to simplify your life around what matters, let me encourage you to check out Chip's insightful series, Balancing Life's Demands. This teaching will give you practical steps to find peace and order where chaos and exhaustion have been the norm. Get ahold of this series to discover how to make meaningful priorities, keep them and escape the relentless grind of everyday life.
Visit livingontheedge.org and search for Balancing Life's Demands. You'll be glad you did. We'll listen to next time as Chip wraps up his series, Love One Another. Until then, this is Dave Drouy saying thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge.
