Love One Another - How to Restore Others After Moral Failure, Part 2

Have you blown it big time? Have you committed a sin that you think has put you behind the eight ball forever? Are you off course?

Are you out of the will of God? I want you to know today that no matter how far you've fallen, you can be restored today and come back. Stay with me.

Find out how. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are an international teaching and discipleship ministry that encourages and equips Christians to live like Christians. Today we're sharing part two of Chip's message, How to Restore Others After Moral Failure, from our series Love One Another. Stay with us to learn why a compassionate helping hand is more healing than a condemning finger wag. Be sure to stick around after this teaching as Chip offers some additional wisdom on how to love those who've fallen into sin. So if you're ready, here's Chip with his vital talk from Galatians chapter six. The Apostle Paul in Galatians 3 19 uses the word trespass instead of the word that's translated here for sin and they're different words.

In 3 19 it means God draws a line in the sand and says thou shall not and you say you want to bet and you walk across it. I'll never forget best picture of this in my life. Many, many years ago I got a phone call. I had a meeting downtown in Dallas and a fellow was going to be at that meeting and I mean in his voice was frantic. He said you've got to come 45 minutes early. I got to talk to you and I didn't know. Well I said he said I can't talk on the phone. I got to meet me there and see it was a restaurant we're gonna meet at and so I met him in the parking lot.

No one was there. I pulled in. He motioned. I got out of my car, got in his car, closed the door. He turns to me. His face is flush. I mean just white. Red then white and then he says he starts to tremble and he's a pretty big strong guy and I said man what's going on. He said I don't even know where to begin and then he begins to recount a history and he began to became friends with a another couple and they did some things as couples and then he became friends with the other man's wife and they were both rather athletic and they got involved in doing some you know athletic type things and played in some different things and so they said well you know we'll go out and practice a little extra so you know they went without their mates and one thing led to another and then they talked a little bit more deeply and this was a Monday afternoon I remember because apparently Sunday afternoon they had been involved in kind of their athletic activity and at the end of it they sat down begin to talk he said I kissed her he said then as afterwards and it wasn't a little peck and then she pulled back and she looked at me like there was fire in her eyes and she said I don't want any half-baked affair if we're gonna have one I want a good one if you're not willing to leave your wife your kids marry me and make a commitment to me I will not be involved in this affair at least he got good warning and here's a guy I mean a godly guy a great wife great kids theologically trained greatly used by God and here's a guy who oh can never happen I mean we're friends I'm mature she's mature we would never we would of course not and he was one one leg in the rapids pulling him downstream and he had the wisdom to yell for a life preserver and so I drove down and threw him the life preserver and by the grace of God we not only talked we prayed we decided when and how he would tell his wife we decided when and how those two couples would meet with pastors and elders of the church we decided what it would mean long term for ministry implications and how we would plan to have a restoration plan and we walked through it all and it was restored but I wonder I wonder you know by the grace of God probably because I was in shock I just listened but you know something I wonder what he how he would have responded if I would have crossed my arms and said what you gotta be kidding me that's wrong that's sin I thought you were a better man than that what is wrong with you I can't believe what you're that's terrible I get a feeling two weeks later the other foot would be in the rapids and he'd be over the waterfalls see a fellow Christian is caught or overcome by sin that happens all the time doesn't it and before we get too self-righteous the person it may happen to next may be sitting in your seat people don't plan to mess up their lives people don't plan to bail out on important relationships people don't plan to steal we do really dumb things under pressure when we're vulnerable so what do we do what's the command well the command is the spiritually mature are to restore this believer it's in the present tense restore and keep on restoring and notice this isn't for everyone you may spot the situation you may realize this is happening you may be the person to get this person connected to the spiritually mature but if you're not spiritually mature don't try and restore because if you go back to our analogy if they're in the rapids what happens if you've got a full-grown man in the rapids and an eight-year-old girl goes in to reach in to try and pull a man out of the rapids what do we have we just lost two and that happens all the time by the way if you are trying to help a person of the opposite sex who has fallen and is struggling spiritually realize your goal is to be a facilitator only you know them just long enough to introduce them to a godly man if it's a man or a godly woman if it's a woman to get them connected to help them get restored you try and do it yourself you will be in big trouble don't do it bibles real clear this is dangerous it's important but it's dangerous and then it says the spiritually mature are to restore what exactly does that mean means to adjust it means to put something in order to put back together it means to equip or fully furnish someone for a given purpose the basic meaning of the word used 14 times in the new testament is to restore to its former condition it's not just getting them out of the rapids it's not getting them on the bank it's not just getting them dry it's getting them where they don't go there anymore and they're living a fruitful productive life in the new testament it's used for mending of nets something is torn it needs to be repaired it's used for the equipping of a ship taking extra sails and extra mass anything a ship needs for equipping a soldier that means his sword his shield everything he needs to go into battle and be productive and finally it's a medical term that's used for the setting of a bone or a compound fracture or something that's out of joint or dislocated what's the common theme in all of those something is broken get it back in a position where it can be mended let it get fixed put it into some kind of instead of physical therapy spiritual therapy where it grows in strength why so that it can return to the former condition of grace and impact the goal for my friend was not simply to you know boy i dodged a bullet i've got some credibility to doing i obviously was vulnerable god's goal was he would go back and have as great or greater ministry than he had before he slipped so the goal of discipline of restoring is never punishment it's love it's not just to bail him out it's to help him move on it's not just to get the joint back together it's to do all the hard work that it takes for them to be fruitful again i blew out my knee i had a new acl replaced and the picture of doing rehab is really the picture of what's going on here if you're going to restore someone you need a good surgeon immediate care and they do it but if you've ever had any kind of major injury people who go to physical therapy can use their joint get full range of motion and get strong again people who don't go to physical therapy have something that's fixed that they that never works quite well for them again because i'll tell you what happens in physical therapy they take a group of people and they take you through something painful that you don't have the courage or the guts or the perseverance to do yourself see one of the things when you rehab a knee is once it comes out and they put all that new stuff in there is that when you get out of there you can bend your knee about this far now you're not rehabbed until you can take your heel and put it all the way on your luteus maximus in case you want to know the term here's my point it took time it took planning it took commitment it was painful and i couldn't do it myself that's what it'll take to restore people how what's the method gentleness this is the same word if you look back in galatians 5 you know fruits of the spirit where it says gentleness same word this is the same word remember when jesus one of the few times in scripture where he describes himself and he says to all of us that are weary and heavy heavy laden hey come to me come to me take my yoke upon you why because i'm meek that's the same word i'm meek in heart the word literally means not meek when we think meek we hear weak it's not meek is power under control it's used in the ancient greek literature for a wild stallion for the process of taming it where there's all that power but with a small bit in its mouth it's under control so you've got an animal that has all this explosive power and yet with a bit in its mouth after training you can put your five or six year old son or daughter and walk it around and everything's safe that's what we do when we restore others we be as tough as firm as strong but always with a sense of love humility concern we care we're for you never a pointing loud aggressive you're a bad person type attitude he says just don't do that don't go there so he's told us a situation a fellow christian is overcome with sin the command spiritually mature restore him the method gentleness the warning restoration is a dangerous process even for the mature it says watch yourself this is Living on the Edge with chip ingram and chip will be back to finish today's message in just a minute but quickly did you know you've been uniquely gifted by a heavenly father who loves you stick around after the teaching to discover a valuable tool we've developed to help you identify and embrace the divine gifts you possess but for now here's chip to continue our series love one another the word is scopeos we get microscope it means look intently at what's going on in you during this process lest you to be tempted two ways i think we get tempted here the one is as they're in the rapids there's something i don't know what it is but there's something about the human heart even after we're born again even after the spirit of god comes into our life even after we're cleansed there's something in your heart and mine that just loves the morsel-y details about other people's sin you know what i mean see the globe and the inquirer are convinced of this and people magazine what what do they do when you walk by the checkout stand or you go by 7-11 what are the titles you know some stars name delirious romping episode at midnight mansion now tell me if there's anyone in here that doesn't have a tiny desire at least wants to say not that we'd be interested of course but i wonder what they're talking about you see when you begin to help another person and they begin to share some things about what they went through there's part of you that's the spirit oh yeah can understand that we got to really help you out on here and in the back of your mind there's that and boy that's why this is only for the spiritually mature people trained in the scriptures people who have a good healthy hate for sin people who say you know what that may look juicy on the outside it does this it does this it does this it does that it destroys people and why do i need part of it in fact when i talk with people especially men with struggles and pornography and things i say guys give me give me the cliff notes just tell me you got to struggle don't tell me that that's all i need i'm a visual thinker if you need to unload some of the details and there's times where people need to i'll get you set up with a great counselor who's trained i can't go there second way we're tempted is not only that we'll get lured into the same sin or and especially in these opposite sex trying to help someone out of their sexual problems i mean how many pastors how many counselors how many times nationwide have you and i just been devastated by people that we've looked up to that have written songs and done albums and we've read their books and they've so blessed us and then we find out what man they're in the sack with someone else or they stole money or did something that you just think how could it be i'll tell you how it could be great majority of the time they're doing counseling trying to help someone else out of something like that this is a heavy warning and the temptation to think that there may be a second class citizen in some way and not to fully forgive them the way god would want you to warning it's a dangerous process finally verse two gives us the summary bearing one another's burdens involves the arduous task of confrontation forgiveness comfort and loving fallen believers back to a position of fellowship and former fruitfulness that idea bear one another's burdens you know what it really means it simply means taking on the moral responsibility for other people's spiritual welfare it means i'm going to bear one another's burdens if i know about blatant open sin in your life passive indifference is not an option i can't just say oh well it's a shame shove my shoulders that's sad i can't do that but the other thing i can't do is i can't come with some self-righteous fingers saying i'm so disappointed in you and i can't believe you did that what a disgrace you are to to god family country apple pie and everything we've ever stood for bearing one another's burden says i'll do it god's way but people who've actually fallen need to be loved forgiven now they have to repent in fact that was the case turn in your bible second corinthians briefly here second corinthians chapter two that situation i told you about it turned out for good the best research i can find is after about eight months this fellow who was involved in immorality with his mother-in-law he repented he said i'm sorry he said i want back in the fellowship i it was grievous unto god will you please forgive me and the church had sinned the church got to the point where they were just a little too self-righteous to let a person like that back into the church and the apostle paul writes in second corinthians chapter two beginning of verse six he says the punishment inflicted on him the man by the majority is sufficient for him now instead you ought to listen to these verbs forgive and comfort him why so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow i urge you therefore to reaffirm your love for him the reason i wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything if you forgive anyone i also forgive him and what i have forgiven if there was anything to forgive i've forgiven in the sight of christ for your sake notice the purpose clause last line in order that satan might not outwit us for we are not unaware of his schemes see the enemy's job is to get the church not to deal with sin in the right way see if you if you're in a church and people can sin openly blatantly and people shove their shoulders i'll tell you what the hand of god will not be on that church god blesses holiness and purity but on the other hand if a church gets self-righteous and boy you step out of line they get legalistic and they have this kind of attitude i'll tell you what people don't want restored there yeah it's like going you know shoot you're wounded god's blessing won't be there and see what he says here is we're not aware we're not unaware of satan's schemes if you let sin go then sins in the camp it'll destroy the church if you're unwilling to be forgiving sins in the camp but now it's the leaders it's just a more sanctified kind of sin it's a more sanitized kind of sin but whether it's a immoral situation over here or a group of leaders who are unwilling to forgive sounds to me like it's sin i think satan's i heads i win tails i win i like this and so paul says what do we do you understand the grace of christ you treat him how he's treating you when people have come what were the verbs forgive comfort reaffirm your love in fact i would encourage you one one time this week to jot down i put it in the notes luke 15 11 through 32 read the story of the prodigal son and read it over from the perspective of someone who knew what was right didn't do what was right his life fell apart and came to the point where he said you know what i got to do it god's way and he came back to the father he didn't get a father with his arms crossed saying okay give me 50 push-ups now he had a father who said i won't let you be a slave you must be my son put sandals on his feet a ring on his finger a robe on his back god doesn't just want to get people out of the deep he wants to dry him off wrap his arms around them love them forgive them and restore them to fruitfulness in ministry but people can't do that on their own and they can't do it unless they're in a safe place where one we don't tolerate sin and two we refuse to be judgmental and self-righteous i like to summarize just the major points the first is that we serve the god of second chances if you're here today and have really blown it no one knows about it yet it's good news for you huh if you're like all the rest of us and have blown it and have already found forgiveness for it good news for us you serve the god of second chances and thirds and fourths and fifths what's it mean it means we all fall to some degree at some time secondly it means we must resist our fears and insecurities that lead to passive indifference i don't want to i don't want to confront people any more than you do third it means we must resist our desire for justice and self-righteous tendencies that lead to painful insensitivity you should be angry when people let you down you should be mad when it destroys a home and kids are hurt you should be angry and once you work through your anger you need to probably if they're a close friend express it to them calmly under control and then forgive them and then move on fourth we must restore not shoot our wounded and finally how can we fail to do for another what christ has done for us how can we fail to do for others what christ has done for us you're listening to Living on the Edge with chip engram and the message you just heard how to restore others after moral failure is from our series love one another chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute jesus said that the greatest commandments are to love god and love your neighbor as yourself so in this teaching chip explores the heart of the christian faith expressed in how we love one another learn how to create deep meaningful friendships where you can motivate care for encourage and gently speak the truth to each other get ready to experience the ways godly love can transform your relationships homes and communities if you've missed any part of this series catch up through the chip engram app or Living on the Edge dot o-r-g well chips back in studio now with an insightful word for all of you chip thanks so much dave you know one of the things that i've experienced as a pastor is i meet and talk with lots of people is they kind of have this idea that god is way way out there and he sort of sees everyone alike maybe god's way too busy for them and their issues but i want to tell you that god is in to the details of life the fact is this that god has made you special and you're precious in his sight he's put you together in a way with natural talents and then as you were born and begin to grow and at a certain point in time you came to know jesus he deposited in you spiritual gifts gifts that align with your natural talents in such a way that you can make a difference in a unique way like no one else the tragedy however is the great majority of christians do not know what their spiritual gift is and they don't know how to get it operational i i meet them all the time and there's sort of this generalities and they give me five or six or seven things that they kind of think but it doesn't give them that ability to prioritize their life if you do not know your spiritual gift could i encourage you to get your divine design it's a resource we're offering this month it's a small little booklet that will allow you to clearly understand a definition of each spiritual gift in the bible and how you can discover yours and put it into action here's what i know you discovering what that is could change the course of your life bring you great joy and make a huge difference in the lives of others your divine design is a resource we would like to put in the hands of everyone who listens to Living on the Edge dave would you give them all the information so they can take the next step and get this resource absolutely chip this tool can deepen your spiritual walk and take your faith to a whole new level so that's why all month long when you give a gift to Living on the Edge we'll send you a free copy of your divine design as our way of saying thank you learn more by going to LivingontheEdge.org or by calling 888-333-6003 that's 888-333-6003 or visit livingontheedge.org have listeners tap donate and please know how much we appreciate your support well here again is chip with some application to share did you hear the last words of today's message no matter where you've been no matter what you've done no matter how far you've fallen away from god you can come back he is the god of second chances and third and 33rd chances he's the god of grace of course there's consequences to our sin but if you will stop if you will turn if you like the prodigal son will say oh god i'm sick of living this way i want help and if you'll turn he will restore you and there is a body of christ there is a group of people that want to extend the love and the grace of god and help you get back on your feet you see you're making some assumptions you walk into a church you meet some christians and on the outside they look so good and they look so nice and they look like they have it together i got news for you they are normal hurting people who have struggled god is forgiven restored they're dealing with some consequences and he's transforming their life but at a point in time they stopped they owned their stuff they told god they were sorry and they came back to the god of second chances if you're hooked on porn if you've had an affair if you've lied if you've cheated if you've betrayed your mate if you've been a derelict father if you've been a mom and you know that changes have to occur in the way you treat your husband or your kids today's the day like the prodigal son turn today and run to god and you will find a god of open arms who wants to restore and mend and heal lord jesus i pray for those that are hearing my voice right now that you would give them the grace to turn from sin to cry out to you and then i ask that you would bring godly people into their life that will love them accept them and help them on their journey of restoration with you in christ's name amen amen well as we wrap up if you genuinely want to surrender your life to jesus and pursue him wholeheartedly we want to help go to true spirituality online dot org and check out our resources you can order chip's popular book true spirituality get some small group materials or watch countless insightful videos these tools were designed to show you the clear path to becoming a genuine all-in follower of christ check them out today that website again is true spirituality online all one word dot o-r-g well from all of us here i'm dave druy thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge and i hope you'll join us again next time you