Love One Another - How to Develop Authentic Relationships, Part 2

Are you tired of all the facades, all the superficiality, plastic Christianity? Do you wish you could sit down across the table from a real-life Christian and really get connected from the heart?

Really give love and get love, but you just don't know how to do it? Well, stay with us. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.

We are an international teaching and discipleship ministry that encourages and equips Christians to live like Christians. Well, let's be honest. Who among us would seek out unreliable and phony friendships?

No one, right? We all crave the exact opposite of that. Well, today Chip will continue laying out the characteristics of genuine relationships that can withstand the test of time.

So if you're ready, go again to Romans Chapter 12 as Chip picks up where he left off in our series Love One Another. You know where most problems come in churches? People are sitting on the bench.

People are sitting on the stands. People who have, unconsciously, a consumer mentality. Feed me. You don't have this for my children? Oh, you've changed ours? Oh, this is going to happen? Well, how come we don't have donuts with the coffee? It would be nice if we had name tags.

It would really be wonderful if we could. It was a little too hot that last weekend. That one song was a little too loud, but then next week it was a little too soft. You know, been there, huh? That happens in churches all the time. You know why? They don't got the agenda. And that was coaching talk.

They don't got on purpose. Third, the church is a supernatural, not only because it has a supernatural origin, not just because it has a supernatural agenda, but third, it has a supernatural power. Did you see that in verse 8? Wait for the gift and then you will receive power. Power. If you're a believer, you know what? You know who lives inside of you? The Holy Spirit.

You know what Romans 8 tells us? The same power that raised Christ literally from the dead dwells in you and dwells in me. The power what? To overcome sin's power in your life. The power to love people you don't even like. The power to reach out when you're tired. The power to align priorities in a way that seems so difficult. The power to trust Him through difficult times. The power to endure when you feel like giving up.

The power to be bold and courageous and identify with Christ when you know everyone in the office is going to look down on you afterwards. You know what the human equivalent is? Gangs. If you go into prison, you know what the likelihood of you being in a gang is?

High, high, and higher. You know why? If you go into prison in this day and you're not in a gang, you may be dead soon. Why?

Because you're one frail person who's vulnerable. So what do they do? You join a gang and what's a gang do? You're in the blood or you're in the crypts or you're in the Aryan Brotherhood or you're in the black Muslim group. I mean, they're all kind of gangs in prisons. And you either join one of them or you're a pawn. See, community offers bonding through teams.

Community brings about loyalty through the concept of having power. I mean, on a lighter note, a lot of you are members of Costco, aren't you? That's a gang. We call it a club.

We're the Costco gang, right? Why do that? Why don't you just go and buy someplace else? Because there is power in buying in bulk.

Isn't there? And there's power in membership. The human institutions that provide community are precious to us. There's probably nothing more important than your family, some sense of team, and some sense of club somewhere.

Those are the human institutions where you're giving and receiving, where there's been power, where there's loyalty, where there's commitment. Here's what I want you to hear. It's just human. You, if you're a believer, are a member of a supernatural community with a supernatural origin, with a supernatural agenda, and you possess supernatural power.

If you get that from your head to your heart, you'll never think about Christians the same way ever again, ever, ever, ever. We're in the same family. We have the same agenda. We have the same power. You are members. Notice the passage doesn't say you ought to be. You are members of one another.

You belong. Now here's final thought. That's the doctrine.

That's the truth. But we would all admit, right, we would all admit that we're not experiencing supernatural community in our relationships like most of us would like. Now, we're tasting it, I pray, and the closer you are to that core the deeper you're probably experiencing it. But I want to give you now from Romans chapter 3 verses 3 to 5, I want you to know what makes it authentic. How do you get in the body of Christ so you experience community? It's not just human community.

I mean, it's one thing to say, yeah, yeah, we came back in the ninth inning in our softball team and we all went out for beers afterwards and boy, isn't it great to be a part of the group. God has some merit. Not a lot. Three things you need. First, you can experience authentic community.

How? When we possess an accurate view of ourselves. It begins with you.

It begins with me. Romans 12, 3 says this, for by the grace given to me the apostle Paul writes inspired by the Holy Spirit, I say to every one of you, do not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but rather think of yourself with a sober or sound judgment. The word literally means don't think of yourself insanely, off balance, irrationally.

But think of yourself literally accurately is the idea in accordance with the measure of faith that God has given you. In a word, if you want to experience this kind of community that's supernatural, it begins with humility. Humility is not thinking highly of yourself. Humility is not thinking lowly of yourself. Humility is an accurate view of yourself. It's a genuine recognition of these are my strengths, these are my gifts, this is what I bring to the table, this is my background, this is my personality, this is who I am, my strengths, and a genuine recognition, and these are my limitations. See, it's not genuinely humble to be in a group and be able to see clearly what the group needs. Know that you're the best at whatever the group needs and to put your hands in your pockets.

Well, gosh, you know, I might be willing, I'm not really good at it, but I'd try. You know what that is? That's arrogance. That's false humility. If you know you're the best, then you say, you know something?

I don't know how this will work exactly, but I've got some background and experience. I'd like to serve the group by taking this on. And humility is, and these are my limitations. I can't do that.

I'm not good at that. In fact, recognizing your limitations means that you are willing to be vulnerable. And by the way, that's where real community starts. See, arrogance, pride, is projecting image that we've got it together. Those little holographs that I call them where we project what we think other people will like, and if they like it, then we say, oh, great, except down deep it doesn't help, does it, because they didn't really touch us. Or if they don't like it, we say, well, great, because that's not who I really am. So you never get deeply affirmed, don't get deeply rejected, but you don't get deeply anything.

See, genuine community starts with being open and vulnerable and saying, you know what, this is what I bring to the table. I've got pluses and I've got minuses, just like everyone else. I'm insecure, just like everyone else. I have some baggage, just like everyone else. I do some things really well, just like everyone else. And when you can be open and vulnerable, then you allow people into your life to know the real you, and when people affirm the real you, what happens?

Bang, connection. We call it getting loved. And when you reach inside and affirm the real person, boy, oh, boy, they get loved.

When's the last time you really let someone inside your life? If you want community, that's what it takes. This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and Chip will be back to finish today's message in just a minute. But quickly, did you know you've been uniquely gifted by a Heavenly Father who loves you? Stick around after the teaching to discover a valuable tool we've developed to help you identify and embrace the divine gifts you possess. But for now, here's Chip to continue our series, Love One Another. Secondly, authentic community happens when we nurture a healthy appreciation of others.

Members four and five. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we who are many form one body. If you want a great little study, draw one line under all the words that have the concept of plurality, and draw two lines under every word that has the idea of unity or singularness.

And what you'll see is stereo. Many, one. Many, one.

Multiple, singular. See, God has made us in a word, keyword, to be interdependent. See, you have pluses, but your pluses are different than other people's pluses.

Their pluses plug into your minuses. It's like a jigsaw puzzle that God has created in the body of Christ, the supernatural community. You don't have to be everything, and you aren't everything, and you can't do everything, and you don't have to apologize for it, but figure out who you are, and then function in your giftedness. Function where God has you. By the way, what do we do? The normal way, notice this says we nurture healthy appreciation.

What do we do apart from the spirit? We compare. We walk in. We look at another person. We compare intelligence. We compare weight. We compare cars. We compare dress. We compare kids. We compare how good they are versus how bad we are, right? Compare, compare, compare, compare.

Where did they get that, that, that, that? You know what comparison does? It just produces carnality.

It just produces carnality. Then we put up images to try and look like we're better than we really are so that when they compare themselves with us, and all these games, games, games, games, people don't get loved when you play games. You don't need to be anybody else. You need to be you. You need to appreciate what other people bring to the table and invite them into your life and step into their life and nurture.

What do you do? You give thanks. You don't have to be everything because you're not. And neither am I. I don't know about you. I like this one.

It kind of takes the pressure off. But you need to figure out how God wired you up so you can function. Number three, authentic community begins where? Accurate view of yourself. Two, appreciation, nurturing appreciation for others, what they bring to the table. Number three, it's when we practice a loyal allegiance to one another and each member belongs to all the others. Belongs, not should, not ought. This is not a work harder, pull up your bootstraps, start being a better Christian.

It didn't say that. This is a fact. You belong with all the needs, and this is the tip of the iceberg, to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep. You belong and we belong in yours. We belong to you.

In a word, do you know what this boils down to? Loyal allegiance, commitment. Commitment. We had a lady who was homeless. Homeless and in a wheelchair in a difficult situation.

Very difficult. You know what happened? There's a people, see this is loyalty. See it's one thing to be loyal to people you know, people you like, people you've had a relationship with.

It's different to be loyal to someone you say, I don't know them, here's what I know. She's in the body of Christ. So they opened their home and she lived with them. Was in the midst of a horrendous situation. And little by little by little by little God restored her marriage, God restored her child to her, and a family just opened their home for two months. You know what I call that?

Supernatural community. What God calls that is love. You see where it all happens is in God's body, the church.

Let me ask you three quick application questions before we do a little pondering. And put simply, let me put it to you this way. This is not about, this whole message is not about will you get with it, okay? If you're hearing get with it, you're missing it. This whole message is about the Lord Jesus saying, I died for you. I died for you. And I knew you had needs and when I walked on the earth and I saw your needs I reached out with my hands to touch the leper. And I put the salve in the eyes and the blind man and I had compassion for the woman and I raised her daughter from the dead. And when people were hungry, you know, bring me what you have and I fed them all. And he said, but the acts of the apostles, a better name is, it's the acts of the resurrected Christ through his body, us. And what he's saying is you're part of a supernatural community if you understand your origin, your agenda and the power that you have, if you're willing to be humble, if you're willing to be interdependent and you're willing to commit to one another out of his power, what he's saying is this is how you get loved when I'm in heaven.

This is how it works. You are my body. You belong to one another.

And so let me give you three application questions so you can feast upon what you already possess. The first one application is that no individual Christian can function effectively by himself or herself. So let me ask you, are you a lone ranger out there? Do you feel isolated? Who's your spiritual family? If I said name the top three or four people that you could call at any time, they're a quality Christian person, knows you, loves you and cares about your life. If you don't have someone, then you're not partaking of the supernatural community. And if you're here and you don't know Christ as your Savior, you're not a part yet of the supernatural community. But God would say to you, it's open for all. We're preaching the kingdom.

The kingdom is people rightly related to God, rightly related to God together, reaching out to you today. Don't leave here today. Ask Jesus to be your Savior. Ask him to forgive you of your sin. Admit you have need.

And you know what? If God's speaking to you right now, just forget what I'm saying. You know, you can keep your eyes open or shut them. Right where you're seated right now, just pray. He'll hear you. He knows. Say, Lord Jesus, come into my life. Oh God, forgive me.

I had no idea. I long for community. I long for forgiveness. I'm sinful and I have violated a holy God. And you have and I have. The only difference between believers and unbelievers, he's paid the price for all.

Some have received the gift, some have not. Which side of that are you on? Second application, no member of the supernatural community is more or less important than anyone else. You're part of the team. You need to learn how to function and you say, but I don't know where I fit.

No one's more or less important. We all have a different part, but you've got to figure out your part. And finally, we must get connected in real life relationships if we're to experience the reality that we are members of one another.

Come figure out a way. Join a ministry. Do something so we can get connected with you and you with us so you get loved. What's the missing link? Why aren't more people getting loved?

It's real simple. You've got all these needs and you've got all these willing people. We need to grasp membership in the supernatural community and discover how we function. And when you do, you'll never be the same. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and the message you just heard, how to develop authentic relationships is from our series Love One Another. Chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Jesus said that the greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. So in this teaching, Chip explores the heart of the Christian faith expressed in how we love one another.

Learn how to create deep, meaningful friendships where you can motivate, care for, encourage, and gently speak the truth to each other. Get ready to experience the ways godly love can transform your relationships, homes, and communities. If you've missed any part of this series, catch up through the Chip Ingram app or LivingontheEdge.org. Well, Chip's back in studio now with an insightful word for all of you.

Chip? Thanks so much, Dave. You know, one of the things that I've experienced as a pastor as I meet and talk with lots of people is they kind of have this idea that God is way, way out there and He sort of sees everyone alike. Maybe God's way too busy for them and their issues. But I want to tell you that God is in to the details of life. The fact is this, that God has made you special and you're precious in His sight.

He's put you together in a way with natural talents. And then as you were born and began to grow and at a certain point in time you came to know Jesus, He deposited in you spiritual gifts, gifts that align with your natural talents in such a way that you can make a difference in a unique way like no one else. The tragedy, however, is the great majority of Christians do not know what their spiritual gift is and they don't know how to get it operational.

I meet them all the time and there's sort of this generalities and they give me five or six or seven things that they kind of think, but it doesn't give them that ability to prioritize their life. If you do not know your spiritual gift, could I encourage you to get your divine design? It's a resource we're offering this month. It's a small little booklet that will allow you to clearly understand a definition of each spiritual gift in the Bible and how you can discover yours and put it into action.

Here's what I know. You discovering what that is could change the course of your life, bring you great joy, and make a huge difference in the lives of others. Your divine design is a resource we would like to put in the hands of everyone who listens to Living on the Edge. Dave, would you give them all the information so they can take the next step and get this resource?

Absolutely, Chip. This tool can deepen your spiritual walk and take your faith to a whole new level. So that's why all month long when you give a gift to Living on the Edge, we'll send you a free copy of your divine design as our way of saying thank you. Learn more by going to livingontheedge.org or by calling 888-333-6003.

That's 888-333-6003 or visit livingontheedge.org. Have listeners tap donate, and please know how much we appreciate your support. Well, here again is Chip with some application to share. As we close today's program, I want to remind you of something.

We've been talking about it for the last two broadcasts. I want to remind you that you are a member of a supernatural community, and God has a supernatural agenda for you. God wants to use you and me radically to change this world and is given a supernatural power. As we interdependently live together, we can make a huge difference.

But how does it play out? How do we get to experience more of it? Well, let me walk through the three key things that you need and I need to experience supernatural community in your life. First, humility.

No individual can function effectively by himself or herself. Question, are you willing to let other people serve you? You heard in today's message that you need to serve and to reach out, but you'll never get connected unless you're willing to open up your life, unless you're willing to let someone in and let them help you. Would you be so bold to go to a brother or sister in Christ today? Maybe even make a phone call and say, I need help. Would you pray for me about this?

Could you lend me a hand? You know what will happen? Someone will feel loved and needed, and someone will get loved, and that person is you. Second, interdependence. No member of a supernatural community is more or less important than anyone else. We need you. Everyone needs you, and you need them.

There's no rank. The visible gifts aren't more important than the ones that are behind the scenes. We know this in theory, but it's true. We need you and you need us. If you're on the team, let me ask you, are you pulling your weight? Third is commitment. We must get connected in real life relationships if we're to experience the reality of being members of one another.

I challenge you for Christ's sake, for the body of Christ's sake, and for your sake. Get connected to four or five other people at a deep level. Open your life. Open your heart. Get into the Bible.

Sit in each other's living rooms or in a restaurant, whatever it takes, and get connected from the heart. You will begin to experience what God saved you to experience, the life of Christ manifested in you and then through you. Go for it. Thanks, Chip. And before we go, the points he just reviewed come right from his message notes, a great resource to help you get the most out of every program. You'll get Chip's outline, the scripture he references, and lots of fill-ins to help you remember what you hear. So before you listen again, let me encourage you to download Chip's message notes at livingontheedge.org under the Broadcasts tab, App Listeners tab, fill-in notes. Well, thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Druey, and I hope you'll join us again next time.