The B.I.O Lifestyle - Doing Life in Community Weekly

Do you feel like there might be something off in your walk with Jesus?

I mean, you go to church regularly. Maybe you're even in a small group, but you still feel lonely and disconnected. Today, I want to help you find community and explain why it's better and more fulfilling than any social group you've ever been with. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher for this international teaching and discipleship ministry.

We appreciate you joining us as we're in the middle of our newest series, The BIO Lifestyle. Last time, Chip and our executive vice president, Andrew Acardi, began discussing three essential practices Christians can follow to become a Romans 12 disciple. Well, with that, here's Andrew to continue our series. Thanks Dave. Chip, great to see you again. Andrew, great to be with you. I'm so excited about this series where we're talking about BIO, but really, the heart of our ministry is helping Christians live like Christians. As we started down the path yesterday, we're talking about what's the rhythm, what are the practices. Thanks for lining this out. Thanks for leading our time.

Let's jump in together. Yesterday, Chip, you introduced us to a set of practices called BIO, that is Before God, In Community, and On Mission. And we spoke yesterday about being Before God.

Can you just give us a quick recap? Yeah, it was developing the practice where you meet with God daily. You actually schedule a time, and then you're in His Word, you learn to hear His voice, you talk from the heart, and then you take that into your day. You put into practice and you practice the presence of God, awareness throughout the day.

And people who are Christians, who live like Christians, that is a part of how they live. So if you missed this message on being Before God, I really encourage you to grab that program on the Chip Ingram app or the podcast or, you know, stream it online. I really think it'd be helpful to you. So today, we're going to talk about being In Community. You know, this conversation is really for everyone, whether you feel like your life is in crisis, you feel like you're stuck spiritually, or you just really sense that you're growing in Christ, but you want more. Chip, let's just start off with what does it mean to be in community? Well, that word is thrown around a lot, and we're not just talking about casual friendships and having people that you hang out with.

That's important. We're talking about biblical community. That's where the real you meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. That's from Romans chapter 12, verses 9 through 13. Put another way, it's a relational focus where the goal of the relationship with a small group of people is to learn to love God and to love other people in a context that is safe, supportive, and provides the kind of accountability and encouragement that we all need. It's a place where you belong with other people, and you say, we're going to do life together.

Yeah, of course, it begs the next question, why is that so important? Well, number one is because loneliness is a pretty big problem for all of us, you know, and the second is, you can read the Bible to your blue in the face, but you cannot obey the scripture. You can't become who God wants you to become apart from relationships with other believers. Being a follower of Jesus is not a solo sport. We need other people to help us grow, and here's the deal, they need us. And you know, it's interesting that even Jesus, think of this, you know, he said in his most trying moments, he goes, I long to share this time with you.

His whole ministry was built on, we are going to do this together, and the preponderance of his time, he invested in a very small group of people where they got very close, very real, very honest, super vulnerable, and you could be all that you really are, and they got two things, a lot of acceptance, and at times, some reproof to help them be the men they long to be in their heart. Well, Chip, you're an extrovert, I'm an introvert. I mean, you go in a room of like 20 people, you go, wow, this is just fantastic. I look in a room with 20 people, it's like I'm putting my head in a vice. I mean, you know, getting to the sense of community can be really hard sometimes, isn't it? It really can, and for some, as you say, it's harder than others, and there's a lot of people that walk into a church, they go regularly, or they're watching online, and they hear some music, and they may even sing some songs, and they hear someone perhaps teach God's word very accurately, and then they walk out, and they get in their car, and that's the Christian experience, and quick confession, because of the transition in my life from being a senior pastor, I've never really experienced that until the last five years, and so it's been really weird, and I go to a really good church. I mean, I love where I go, and the pastor's awesome, and he happens to be a friend, but Teresa and I would go, then we would leave, and you know, we're meeting with God, we're doing these things, and I turned to her and said, do you really feel a part of this church?

And she goes, no, not really. I said, me neither, and so I actually made an appointment with the pastor, and I just said, we need to feel belonging. How can we serve?

How can we help? How do we get connected? And really, what we were longing for was this authentic community with a group of people where, you know, I'm just not teaching somewhere, or, you know, we have community as in friends, but we wanted to be a part of a group of people with a common heart and common mind where we were gonna be a little bit more serious.

I wanted someone to say, hey, Chip, how are you really doing? How are you walking with God? And you had to pursue that, though. I mean, you had to take steps, right? Yeah, and what I realized was I could sense in my soul, in my spirit, where I'm walking in, leaving, walking in, leaving. In fact, oh, this is so terrible. It's like, it's a pretty large church.

It's like, I wanna walk out quickly because I don't wanna get stuck in the traffic. I'm becoming that person when I was the pastor saying, come on, people, stick around, get connected, all the rest. So all to say, we hear you.

We know how hard it can be. You know, a lot of churches, and I think they want to help, and their solution is we wanna get people into small groups or Sunday school, which could be helpful programs, but being in a small group or a Sunday school class is not the same as being a community. Well, what I would say is the small group or the Sunday school class is the right container. See, community can't happen with a thousand people very effectively, or 300 people, or a big room of even a church of 40 or 50. There's a sense that you belong because you know them, but authentic community has to be in a group that is smaller, but where the group has determined this isn't about let's discuss a little bit about the sermon and then talk about how life's going at work and some with our kids or just sort of social. Authentic community is the real me showing up. I'm gonna be vulnerable, and I'm gonna be focused on and ask others to be focused on help me become more like Jesus, and I'll help you become more like Jesus, and since I know you're gonna fail, I'm gonna accept you even in your failings, and you're gonna accept me, but then you're gonna love me enough to not let me stay in that. So there's a level of focus and intensity, and there's a goal to authentic community.

We're gonna do life together to honor God. Okay, so now we know what authentic community is and why it's important, so let's now get into some of the hard stuff. There's an epidemic of loneliness out there.

I mean, we referenced that a little bit earlier. We see this so clearly from all the prayer requests we receive here at Living on the Edge, and we know from a lot of research that's out there that a lot of people feel disconnected emotionally, even though they're connected technologically. I think here's the point, Chip. A lot of people really want to be in community, but they can't find it. I mean, what do they do? Well, it's really tough, and as I shared, even as a pastor and an outgoing personality, it's been really hard for us, and if you've experienced rejection or there's a lot of people that have said, hey, Chip, you know that stuff about being vulnerable?

I did that in a small group, and then I heard about it everywhere else. I mean, they've been burned. They've been rejected. They've been betrayed, and it's like, hey, you know, I'm not going down that path again, and yet the fact of the matter is is that apart from those kind of relationships, we can't thrive. Yeah, I had a friend of mine, a very successful businessperson, and he worked for some really big companies that you'd all recognize, but man, he was at the low end of life. He had moved to a new location. He was just not connecting. Work was a challenge. Personal life was a challenge, but here's the thing. He so needed community. He went to the church, and he talked to a pastor. He said, and this is a bold statement, will you be my friend?

Wow. And that took some guts, you know, and of course the pastor then, he knew some things about this guy, connected him to me, and we became great friends, and he made a great contribution to the ministry, but you know what? Sometimes you have to take a risk. Yeah, and you know, down deep, our deepest needs are I need to belong. I need to feel secure. I need to be known.

I desperately need to be loved. Well, how's that going to happen unless you have genuine, authentic relationships that are safe? And that takes time and energy and focus, and I know that's a bit scary, but I would say to people, just because you join a group or take a step, if it's not quite the right fit, you don't have to feel like you're going to stay there the rest of your life, and it's not unspiritual to realize all these people like have an affinity around sports or technology or something else, and I like them and they're Christians, but I don't fit here. To be able to say, I need to find a group where I do fit, but I do think the first step is taking the risk and saying, I'm going to put myself out there, and that takes time and energy and focus. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we'll get you back to our series, The BioLifestyle, in just a minute. But quickly, as Chip and Andrew have talked today, it's obvious how vital other believers are to our faith. So keep listening after this program as Chip continues explaining why and highlights some resources we have to get you into authentic community.

You won't want to miss it. Well, with that, let's get back to today's discussion. In addition to those who are kind of struggling to get into community, there are some people who seem to have an abundance of it. I mean, there's just a group of people that are involved in every program of the church. They're like the social butterflies.

I can't relate to this either way. They know everybody and are involved with everything. They're in small groups, Sunday schools, they're actively involved. But we also know there's a danger there. This is one of the big ones, Andrew.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of small groups, I don't mean this critically. In the church, they've become a bit social. We get together, we might share some things, maybe eat a few hamburgers.

We have fun, but it's superficial. And then when they put their head on the pillow, they have some deep unresolved issues. They have some parents that are dying. They have a kid with a learning disability. They have a child that's being bullied. Or they've had one of their kids say, Mom and Dad, I don't know that I believe in God.

Or, you know, this gender stuff you've heard about, well, this is what I think I am now. Authentic community requires that we go deep with one another. And superficial, a nice small group, isn't everything wonderful?

You don't go there. And they live in hiding. And they live desperately alone in the deepest areas of their heart.

And there's pain. And the grace of God and the love of God and the truth of God and the compassion and the patience of God, He wants to show up. But lightning bolts are not going to come from heaven to meet those kind of needs. It's going to come through the heart and the hands and the eyes and the tears and the hugs of fellow believers that have been invited into a level of relationships that we call authentic community that brings about hope and compassion and transformation. And that's what God longs for us. And what I can tell you, Andrew, is that if Christians don't have that, they're stuck.

Or that 10% that are in crisis, they feel all alone. I mean, think of this just for a moment. We are a ministry. And we say to people, I mean, we really seek to be relational. And we say to literally, you know, this million or so people, if you want us to pray, you know, we have a team of people that pray, volunteers. But we ask people to pray.

Every Monday, we get this Excel sheet, right? I mean, filled, I mean, in small print with all these needs of all these people, they share things with us that blow my mind. I mean, we don't have a personal, we sort of do. But it's not like we're their next door neighbor, we go to church with them. And they tell us things that are heart wrenching and heartbreaking. And we as a staff, we meet and we pray and we break down in groups and Zoom.

And we're praying for these people. But there's part of me that thinks your mom has cancer and no one close to you knows. Your child has come out and said they have a different sexual orientation and you don't have friends that you can share that with. It's heartbreaking. And part of what us spending this time with our family at Living on the Edge and explaining bio and wanting them to experience it is, am I willing to make the time to be with other people?

Because between youth sports and work and a zillion things going on, what really happens is I really want it, but I'm not willing to put it in my calendar and my schedule. And we are the poorer for it. You mentioned being vulnerable, so let me give it a shot now. One of the challenges I think I face is that it's just like Jonah. See, Jonah was running away because he knew of God's goodness and he knew that the Ninevites would repent, you know, if they were given the opportunity.

I don't want to give them a chance to do that. And kind of in a strange sort of way, I think me and probably some of our listeners out there are like, I know that God's really good, but it's going to take a lot of time for me to minister to people if I really put myself out there. And really what community, you talk about reaching some of the deepest needs, it forces you not to hang out just with your best friends.

It's about reaching other people who need the love of Jesus being shown through you. And I think the reconciliation that I had to come to was God will just give you the grace for the moment. You just got to be obedient, you got to see the need, you got to move forward. But that's a tough one.

I mean, when you're shifting from an inward focus to an outward focus with authentic community. I think of a man that has become a very, very, very close friend. And he was involved in a ministry to youth. He, in a weak moment, had an affair, ended up leaving his wife and his family, turning his back on the Lord, eventually married this woman, had a couple kids and found himself like 10 years on that journey. And then God spoke to him through Living on the Edge of all things. And I happened to walk into, he's a personal trainer and I was rehabbing one of my many injuries, whether it was a knee replacement or a back.

What body part were they working on now? Yeah. And so I sit down with this guy and he looked at me and he goes, he looked at my name, he goes, you don't happen to be the Chip Ingram on Living on the Edge, do you? And I said, well, yeah. And then he got up and he shut the door of his office and he shared his whole story.

And then we began to work out and talk and share and work out and talk and share. And he so helped me. And then he was stuck like the people you talked about. I mean, now he's in a relationship that's not working.

He has kids that really are struggling and not doing so well. He's got repair to do with a former family, but he's now walking with God and he just got stuck, stuck, stuck. And finally I said to him, other than me, who do you really talk to and who are you connected with? And I, his eyes filled and were watery and no one.

And I said, do you know what's missing in your life? Cause I mean, he's in the word now. He's praying now. He's practicing being God's man. He's repenting. And I said, there's a group of men that meet at six in the morning and I'm not available then, but if you go there and you build some relationships, some real ones, it'll get you through where you're at. And he went and all I can do is fast forward.

That was over 10 years ago. I still meet with him cause I'm still rehabbing yet another body part. This guy now is leading three or four groups. The things that have happened in his life are some of the most miraculous life transformation I've ever seen in any individual. And he just turns to me and he's now helping other people at deep, deep levels in authentic community.

And he just, he always reminds me, he said, Chip, that was a turning point. I got in a group. It took some time. We built the relationships. And then I remember when I got real real and I let people in on the most painful sides of my life and they loved me.

And now I'm doing that for three or four other groups of men. Oh, that was really good Chip. You know, sometimes you have to make community to help people get into community. Amen. A great place to start is, and it's not a program, remember that, you're starting a community, but a great place to start is to form a small group. And we've made it really easy.

There's actually training online. We'll actually teach you how to get started as a small group leader, you know, just get in the game. So maybe you're one of the people right now you're listening and you're kind of on the sidelines. You've been on the sidelines or you kind of left to the third quarter and you know, now it's the fourth quarter. Get back in the game.

Yes. You know, there are a lot of people who are looking for community. Don't assume because everyone has a smile on their face that they're growing spiritually and everything's all right. You know, get to know those people.

And I would say we not only have small groups, but one of the things about our curriculum, we do them video driven. So I actually lead the first part and get the conversation going and built into all of our curriculum is everything from how to set up your house to what to do and how to help other people get into the game with you. And so let us encourage you. Move from an intention. Step out.

You'll be so glad you did. And I guess this turns us to kind of where we're at in this season of ministry as we are helping people come before God. So we teach millions of people here and around the world. And then our next phase is we want to help people get in community. So we're creating small group material, training small group leaders, training pastors.

All of that requires energy, focus, staff, and finances. Andrew, maybe you could tell us about why this month especially is a critical time to get in the game and be on the team and support Living on the Edge. Well, yeah, talking about a community, we just wanted just to make you aware that, you know, twice a year we do a special match and we're in the middle of one right now. And what that means is that some generous donors, just a few of them, have come together and said, we will match every dollar given in the month of June through July 9th.

And so this is just a great opportunity. If the Ministry of Living on the Edge has made an impact in your life, you're really going to be doubling your giving this month. And maybe you've kind of thought about it.

Maybe you intended to do something. Maybe you've seen something from us and you're following us on social media. And, you know, as Chip said, turn those good intentions into actions because when you do, you're helping us as a ministry help more and more people get in community. It's just a really important time of year for us because a lot of the finances that enable us to do the ministry that we do comes in during this month. And the fact of the matter is, is the guy I talked about, he heard because there was a broadcast that people paid for. He got into groups that used our material that we created because people funded those things.

And then there was all kind of training that we've been able to develop. So it's about life change. I mean, it is about Christians, right? Living like Christians, not perfect, being real, being authentic, living it out. And Andrew, thanks so much for taking the time away from all your responsibility and take this time to share what it means to be in community. And I just would encourage you, before the day's up, act, get in community, and please pray about what God would have you do in supporting the ministry and then follow whatever he shows you to do. And here's what we've learned.

If you obey whatever he shows you, we'll have all we need to do all God wants us to do. Thanks, Chip and Andrew. I'm Dave Druey, and you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And today's program, Doing Life in Community Weekly, is part of our newest series, The BIO Lifestyle. Now before we move on, if God has been ministering to you through the work of Living on the Edge, now is the perfect time to give back. Thanks to the generosity of a small group of donors, every gift we receive between now and midnight, July 9th, will be matched dollar for dollar. Donate today by calling us at 888-333-6003, or visit livingontheedge.org.

That's livingontheedge.org, or call 888-333-6003. App listeners, tap donate, and please know how much we appreciate your support. Well, Chip's still in studio with me, and Chip, today you and Andrew really emphasized the importance of a community and how a small group is a great place to find that trusted group of people. And we have a lot of resources that our listeners can use, but they may not be sure which small group study to choose. Well, what advice do you have for them?

Well, Dave, we all have special times in our life where there's either crisis or we know we need to improve our parenting or marriage or there's some emotional issues. And as people go through, there's plenty of small group resources like that. But what I think is missing is what historically has been called a catechism. A catechism is a well-ordered process of truth by which you go through it systematically and intentionally in order to become more and more like Jesus and to fulfill more and more what Jesus has called us to do. And so if you follow Jesus' life, his actual chronological life, then the first thing is he defined what a disciple is. And so the very first study I encourage people to do is true spirituality, becoming a Romans 12 Christian. It'll let them know this is what it means to be a follower of Jesus. The second thing Jesus did is he took them through various experiences to reveal who God was like.

What is God really like? And so our second study, it's called The Real God. And in that we study the attributes of God and how to get them from your head into your heart. The third thing that Jesus did is he helped them understand how does life change really occur? How do you put it into practice?

We have a study from Ephesians chapter 4 called Transformed, The Miracle of Life Change. And then the fourth one I'll give you because I don't want to lay it all out is that when you take these kind of steps, all hell breaks loose. I don't mean that as a cuss word. What I mean is it's challenging. It's difficult. There's spiritual warfare. And that's our study from Ephesians chapter 6.

It's called The Invisible War, what every believer needs to know about Satan, demons, and spiritual warfare. So let me encourage you, unless there's a critical need, a high felt need, consider studying in order the catechism the way Jesus taught his disciples. Well to learn more about the specific studies Chip mentioned or any of our other small group resources, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. And let me tell you, these materials are so easy to use. Chip provides the teaching, then you'll have time to discuss what you've learned with your group through our helpful study guides. So if you haven't found a community yet, a small group is a great place to start and our resources can help. Visit livingontheedge.org or call 888-333-6003 to learn more. Before we go, I want to remind you that the Chip Ingram app is an easy way to share messages or complete series with others. So whenever you're encouraged by what you hear, I hope you'll pass it along to a friend or loved one who will benefit from it. And be sure to tell them how it made a difference in your life. Listen to next time as Chip and Andrew wrap up our newest series, The BioLifestyle. Until then, this is Dave Drouie saying thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge.