Lift - How to Help Others Over Life's Humps, Part 2

Would you like to motivate someone today?

I mean motivate them right out of their socks. You're going to have to be sneaky, but here's what I want you to do. Today I'm going to teach you how to catch someone doing something right and then bless them. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. Today we're picking up where Chip left off last time in his message, How to Help Others Over Life's Humps, from our series, Lift the Awesome Power of Encouragement. He'll continue describing how we can boost a person's spirit and change their outlook on life. He'll also explain that when it comes to encouragement, it's often better to give than receive. And to learn more about that idea, keep listening after Chip's teaching as he shares some additional application we can begin practicing today.

You won't want to miss it. If you have a Bible, go now to 1 Thessalonians, Chapter 1, as Chip shares another valuable way to encourage someone. Third is you can bless people through notes, email. You know, it's a blessing to say, I'm thinking about you today.

I'm praying for you. It's a blessing to say, hey, hey, as I was praying this morning, Psalm 37.4, just want you to know I'm asking God to give you the desires of your heart. Do you get the idea?

Have you got it? I want to encourage you this week, if you want to speak life into those that you love, be still a blessing. But it doesn't stop there. Notice verse 2 and 3, Paul's appreciation. He says, We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers, constantly bearing in mind, notice this, your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the presence of God our Father.

Notice the structure here. First of all, he gives thanks. He lets them know, I'm praying and when I pray, you pop up on the screen.

That's what he says. When I'm praying, Thessalonians, you pop up on the screen and it's none of this vague, God bless you, aren't you kind of nice people? I think of the specific things that I've seen in your life. He says, I thank God specifically for three things. Number one, he says your work produced by faith, the word work here, we get our word energy or activity from. He says, I thank God specifically for the activity and the love referring probably to evangelism because we hear later how it's gone out and also of their good deeds and kind acts toward one another.

But that's not enough. He says, I thank God for your for your work that is produced by your faith in Christ. But I also thank him for your labor of love. The word labor here prompted by love denotes extraordinary effort. It literally meant to cut, to toil. It's a picture of someone taking bread and hitting it and trying to get it in a certain form to be usable. Ryrie says, it's toiling to the point of exhaustion, out of affection for another person. How would you like someone to pray and thank God that when they look at your life, they see activity that is other centered because of your faith in Christ and they see you with a self sacrificial toil because you agape, love God and love other people. That'd be pretty encouraging when the third thing he says, though, is he says he also thanks God for their steadfastness of hope or really it's patience or I like the best translation is endurance.

The word is a compound word, hupo meno. It literally has the idea of kind of a man with weight on his back. It means holding up or remaining under pressure. It has the idea of when things get hard, when things get difficult, when everyone else cops out, you hang in there. It means to be aggressive, to be courageous, to not give up, to not fall into self pity. You hang in there and keep on doing when you don't feel like keep on doing.

Why? Because you're inspired by the certainty of hope. Christ is returning. God is good. God is sovereign. And then notice the last phrase in the presence. It literally means before the face of our God and Father.

He expresses his appreciation for who they are and for what they've done. Do you do that? Boy, I think about this as a father. I hope you have a different personality than mine.

I really do. My personality is fairly analytical. And when I see something, the thing that pops out immediately is what's wrong or how it can be improved. You know, if you're a kid, you know what you hear a lot of?

Oh, yeah, that's real good, except for or the but, you know. Do you know how demotivating that is? You see people who are constantly expressing appreciation, thanksgiving.

Boy, those are people that motivate and lift up and build up. You know what Paul basically did? He said, This is what you're doing right. And I thank God for it. And I'm not being vague and I'm not blowing smoke. I'm talking about these three specific things. And by the way, it's happening. You want some encouragement? It's happening before the very face of God. And he sees what's going on to. But wouldn't that be encouraging?

Let me give you a practical application. Ken Blanchard, he's the author of The One Minute Manager and a number of other books. In fact, raving fans is one that would really flow right out of this passage. And he says in that tell people what they're doing right. Wander around and catch people doing stuff right and then praise them.

And then he says, make it progressive. Don't wait until they have it perfect. When you see people making little inclinations toward doing better, praise them and appreciate them for the progress they're making. Some of us are waiting till people get it completely right.

They're never going to get it completely right because they're a lot like us, right? How you doing expressing your appreciation? Have you told a friend that lately? Have you told your parents that lately?

Have you told fellow workers, people that you do ministry with lately? How much you really appreciate? And by the way, jot down under that, be specific, not vague. Second, be objective, not just feelings, specific and objective things. Not just, oh, I feel so good I get to be your dad or I feel so good we get to work together.

That's nice. But be specific, be objective, and then include some biblical truth. Notice how the Apostle Paul did that? I thank God for these three things.

You want some truth to go along with that? All these things are happening right before God. He sees it too. You can speak life into people's lives if you get in the habit of bestowing a blessing, number one, and number two, expressing your appreciation for who they are and for what they do and what they've done. Third, though, Paul has confidence in their faith. Look at verse four. Knowing brethren beloved by God, his choice of you. By the way, before we go on this word, knowing is very interesting.

He's thanked God for him, then he says knowing, two words in the New Testament for knowing. One, a knowledge that comes by way of experience, the other an objective knowledge. It's just fact, kind of like gravity. You can believe in it, not believe in it, jump off a five story building.

Same effect. That's this word. He says, I know for a fact. What's he know for a fact? Brethren, notice that word of love, beloved by God, special word only used of kings in the Old Testament. His choice of you. You know, I bet these guys were doubting.

I bet there was days they got up and they were just kept coming at him and coming at him and kind of mad when they're thinking, you know, maybe I'm not really in the family. The apostle Paul says, I'll tell you something. I know for a fact that you are a part of God's family, that your sins are forgiven, that the spirit of God dwells in you, that your eternal resting place will be with Jesus in heaven. And all the power in heaven and earth is available for you day by day.

Now, I'm certain of his choice of you. And you say, well, how can Paul say that? Well, he tells us how I can say that. Look at verse five for our gospel did not come to you in word only. It just wasn't words, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction, just as you know what kind of men we proved for your sake to be. The fact that the Thessalonians were a part of God's family is shown by the character of the message given and by the sincere acceptance of it received and the transformed lives that followed.

Look at the next line. You also became imitators. We get our word mimic from this. You became mimics, exact reproduction of the originals. You also became imitators of us and of the Lord. How did they imitate the Lord? Having received the word in much tribulation with joy of the Holy Spirit.

Boy, I'll tell you what you talk about a shot in the arm. You talk about something that quiets doubts in your heart. He says, I know for certain, because when I was preaching, there was not just word, there was power. And not only was there power, but God authenticated in your hearts and in your lives. And then it's been evidenced by how you've lived.

You're in. It's clear. Can I encourage you to verbalize your confidence in other people's faith? You know, down deep, everyone thinks someone else is way more spiritual than them.

If you're married, you're sure your wife is. And most of us are right. But no matter who you rub up against, the fact that matter day in and day out, we honestly believe in our heart that all the people around us, they must know God more than we do.

They pray more or better, or God listens to them more than we do. And you know, we have a real confidence problem when it really comes with walking with God. One of the reasons is we don't verbalize to one another what we see in one another's lives. Somehow it makes us feel uncomfortable, doesn't it? Because that's more than just sort of casual conversation.

You know, you don't do stuff like, hey, you want to go out to lunch? Yeah. Hey, well, these tacos are good. Tacos are great. A little hot sauce. Yeah, I love the hot sauce.

Really good here. By the way, it's really evident that the power of Jesus Christ is at work in your life. And I just wanted to share that.

Would you like another taco? I mean, it's really it's really kind of a bit you kind of go to that next level with people to say to them, you know, the evidence of the working of the Spirit of God in your life is a deep encouragement to me. When's the last time you told someone how real and how evident the working of God in them is to you? Because you know what we are?

We're little mirrors to one another, and we need that. There was a fellow named Don Geiger, and he was the pastor of the church in Dallas. We moved to Dallas, and Teresa and I moved there with two kids. And a year or so later had our third and went to seminary there. And we went to this church of about eighteen hundred or two thousand people, and we were just overwhelmed. Except, really, we thought, oh, it's a big church and we'll visit, but we can't go here because, you know, big churches are big and impersonal. And the first week someone introduced themselves and took us home for lunch, and the next week they met us and took us home for Sunday night.

And what we realized is that it's not the size of the group, it's how connected you are. They had things for our kids that were just phenomenal. And Don Geiger became one of my mentors and heroes.

And boy, he didn't have a lot of time and had a lot of demands, and I'd make a lunch appointment and wait two months to get to see him. And very humble guy, great guy, did an internship there at that church a little bit later. But he, more than any other person, as I was praying this through, has verbalized his confidence in my faith in the areas where I struggled.

I was out at the little church in Texas, and boy, you know, my first everything happened there. My first problem in this area, my first problem in that area, my first problem. And I never would, you know, called on. I'd call Don and he'd take the call, hey, Don, you know, what do I do, what do I do, you know? And he would ask some questions, force me to think it through on my own, and I always remember this phrase, you're a good man, Chip.

You're a good man, Chip. And then he'd follow it by, Chip, you get faith, God will show you what to do. And then somewhere in that conversation he'd always say something like, trust your instincts, God's Spirit will show you. He put you there for a reason, and He'll show you whatever you need. And you know, every time I would talk to that man, he always was a mirror that reflected God was at work when I couldn't see it myself.

I didn't think I had what it took to make the decision. I didn't think I had what it took to go to the next level spiritually. What Jesus is saying to you tonight, will you please communicate what you see in brothers and sisters in Christ and confirm and verbalize your confidence in their faith so they can grasp that they really have it? And you will do them a service that is incredible. Fourth thing the Apostle Paul does is he affirms not only their faith but the impact of their life. Look at verse 7. He said they received the word in much tribulation with joy of the Holy Spirit, verse 6, so that you became an example or a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia.

Why? For the word of the Lord has sounded forth from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia but also in every place your faith toward God has gone forth so that we have no need to say anything. For they, remember it's a cultural center, remember there's all these ships coming in, there's people traveling, 200,000 people, it's a place and they come in and they hear about the faith and these people's lives are dynamically changed and everyone is going out and the word of God sounded. It's in the perfect tense.

It's the picture of a trumpet blow or an echo and the idea is the echo's range is going farther and farther and farther. He says you received the God of eternity in your heart in the midst of a culture where it was tough and you've lived faithfully and you don't even have to tell us what's happened. The impact of your life is so phenomenal, people are coming to us and telling us how our visit went and what's happening in your life. Verse 9, for they themselves report about us what kind of a reception we had with you and notice their testimony. Not some ooey gooey, well they had a religious experience. Here's their testimony. How you turned to God from idols.

Why? To serve a living and true God and to wait for his son from heaven whom he raised from the dead, that is Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come, speaking of judgment. He affirms your life has impact. We always tend to focus on what we're not doing.

We need to do more of this or more of that. The apostle Paul bestows a blessing. The apostle Paul expresses appreciation. The apostle Paul verbalizes his confidence and now he affirms the impact of their life. The single most encouraging thing is those Thessalonicans would know that God had actually used them. You know why? Because those of you involved in ministry, there's a great price tag and you're paying a great price tag and you get opposition and you're putting in tons of hours and you're loving kids and college students and junior hires and you're running tech equipment and you're here early and you're here late and you're doing evangelism out here and you're doing home groups and community groups and Bible study groups and you're giving your life away and the big question that nags you in the back of your mind is, is it for anything?

Does it really matter? And we need, we need to communicate to one another the impact of one another's lives. You can't imagine that gift. And you probably are unaware, I get lots of great encouragement and feedback. Give it to other people.

Give it to the people who aren't visible. They need to know that their life is making a difference. By way of conclusion, I think we grossly underestimate the awesome power of an affirming word. We just grossly underestimate it. Secondly, we grossly underestimate how deeply those around us are hurting. Quote, loneliness.

It seems like it's the hardest issue of human existence. Well, let's not hear the word without responding. What I would like to ask you now, who needs an affirming word from you today? Who do you know that has some humps to go over that needs you to write them a note and tell them what they're doing right? Be specific, be objective and add an element of God's truth and we will pray that God will show us what to do and whom to write. Father, thank you for the power of your word. We believe that you will bring to our mind a name of a person that needs a word of encouragement. Help us to write just a brief, encouraging, specific word of appreciation or affirmation that would let someone know we see you working in them. In Jesus' name.

Amen. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and the message you just heard, how to help others over life's humps, is from our series, Lift the Awesome Power of Encouragement. Chip will be back to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Do you know someone who needs a spiritual shot in the arm?

Their circumstances have him feeling down and out and you just want to come alongside and help? As Chip teaches from 1 Thessalonians, you'll learn how to do that through the influence of encouragement. Discover the practical ways to inspire and support others in their time of need and how those selfless acts can strengthen your walk with God too. Learn more about this series or our resources through livingontheedge.org or the Chip Ingram app. I'm joined in studio now by Chip and Chip, negative harmful ideas seem to be coming at us from every direction these days.

Social media, the news, friends, you name it. What does the Bible say about protecting our thoughts and what tools do we have to help our listeners out? Great question, Dave. The Bible's really clear that we're the product of our thought life. The wisest man in all the world said, as a man or woman thinks, so we become. And so that means that there's a lot of lies that need to be stopped and they need to be replaced with the truth.

In Romans 12, he says, stop allowing the world system literally to squeeze you into its mold, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Two things come to my mind that we've seen God use in a significant way. One is affirmation cards. They grew out of a journey that my wife and I were in early in our marriage and counseling, where we went through the process of identifying multiple lies that we believed about our identity, about our future, about fears, about all the kind of things that people have, and then putting a stop sign at the bottom of these affirmation cards, flipping it over, writing the truth, and then putting a short passage. We sat together on our couch for two years early on reviewing those every day. It transformed our lives.

And then the Living on the Edge team made them very beautiful and a lot nicer, and they've been used by thousands and thousands of people. The other is a small book that Teresa wrote called Precious in His Sight. It is a word from a woman about the pain that lies have in your mind, your heart, and your relationships and the power of God's truth over time to help you begin to actually believe and experience that you're precious in God's sight. Dave, maybe you could tell people how they could get ahold of these resources. Be glad to, Chip. To get either Teresa's book Precious in His Sight or a set of our affirmation cards, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. Both of these helpful tools are sure to encourage you in your walk with Jesus. And if you haven't thought of it already, this book or these cards would make great Mother's Day gifts. So to get them in time for that special woman in your life, place your order by May 1st.

For complete details, call 888-333-6003 or visit livingontheedge.org. App listeners, tap special offers. Well, now here's Chip with some application for us to think about from today's message. When you hear this passage from the Apostle Paul through 1 Thessalonians, you're tempted to think that Paul got his MBA from Harvard and he did it at their business school in the area of motivation and inspiration. You can go to a lot of seminars and a lot of people can say a lot of stuff, but this information in 1 Thessalonians is the best I've ever read on how to help people reach their God-given potential. There are principles in here that help people become all God designed them to be.

And they're here for us. Direct content to direct people in that day, but timeless principles for us. He gives us four ways to speak life into those that we love. Let me give you those four ways by way of reminder that you can practice them today.

Way number one, bestow a blessing on people. Why? Because everyone's fearful. Everyone needs the sense of approval. Number two, express your appreciation. Why? Because we all get down on ourselves and we lose perspective. Number three, affirm the impact that their life has had. Why? Because we tend to focus on what we've done wrong instead of focusing on how much progress that we've made. And then finally, verbalize your confidence in their faith.

Why? Because we all struggle with doubt and insecurity. I remember having to make one of the biggest decisions of my life and there was a wise mentor in my life a fellow pastor who was down the road a number of years and he had mentored and loved me and helped me and I had a huge decision to make. And I came to him and I asked him, what do you think I ought to do? And he was so wise he understood what I needed most was to learn to trust God, step up to the plate, make a good decision and believe that God could use me in that way. And I'll never forget his words.

He said, Chip, you're a good man. You walk with God. I know you're going to seek him and I know whatever decision you make will be a great one. And you know, it was just the confidence that I needed to step up and say, you know, God can use me and I can make the call and I can trust him.

Who needs a word of blessing, confidence or affirmation from you? Why don't you give it and make their day? Thanks for the challenge, Chip. And those points Chip just reviewed came right from his message notes, a great resource to help you get the most out of every program. It has Chip's outline, all of the scripture he references and more. So before you listen again, why don't you give Chip's message notes a try? You can download them at livingontheedge.org under the broadcasts tab, app listeners tap fill in notes. Well, from all of us here, I'm Dave Drewy, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.