Do you think God is surprised when you mess up? I think actually we're more surprised about the things we do or think or mess up than God is. He made us, so He's not surprised by anything.
But what does He do when we mess up? That's what we want to talk about today. Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram.
I'm Dave Drouy. Well, as you can tell, Chip's eager to get started. What you're about to hear probably isn't anything you expected to hear today, but it has the power to heal deep wounds and put you on a path toward restoration you never thought possible. I'm really glad you're with us. Just before we get started, if you have to step away or if you'd like to see Chip's notes for this message, the Chip Ingram app is a great tool to keep you engaged and connected. Okay, let's get going. Here's Chip with this message from John chapter 21.
We wrap up this series. I want to ask you a question, but I don't want you to answer at all out loud. But I do want you to really think deeply about what would be the most honest answer just with yourself. And the question is, what is something in your past or in your present that you're ashamed of? Something that was done to you or something that you've done that just as honest as you could be, you do not want anyone to ever know about? Or if, I mean, if anyone, maybe one or two people that so know you and you so trust them that you think they could handle it. What's one thing that if it came to the surface and people knew this about either what you did or something that happened to you that you feel like they would think less of me?
They would really view me far in a different way and probably a negative way. And every time I would see them, I would feel like they would look at me through the lens of that thing I'm ashamed of. If you open your notes, we're going to talk about restoration.
We're going to talk about moving beyond forgiveness to restoration because you can't testify unless God does this work in your life. And we all have shame. Shame, as you notice on the front of your notes, is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress that's caused by a consciousness of a wrong or foolish behavior, regrettable or an unfortunate situation or action. There's about three major causes for shame, that feeling that you don't measure up, that's something wrong, that we all have something to hide.
The first is it's inherited. When our first parents rebelled against God, you remember the first thing they did? They covered themselves because they were ashamed. They covered their private parts with fig leaves and they realized something's happened when we rebelled and sinned against God, there's separation from God and we feel now exposed and we're trying to hide.
And we have been doing that ever since. Every human being has some level of shame. The second way that multiplies it, and some people have, I mean layers and layers of shame, is something was done to you. In extreme cases, to be molested, to be raped, to be abused. There's a reason why rape victims often, in the great majority of the time, don't come forward, even though they're the victim, is they feel ashamed and what would people think?
It's not all that dramatic. Sometimes you're shamed by labeling. You're fat, you're dumb, you'll never amount to anything. Why don't you get with the program? You didn't get in the right school.
These labels in moments of weakness from a parent or a teacher or a coach that stick with you. I was a really, really late developer, so I was 4'11 in seventh grade and 5'1 in eighth grade and I wanted to be a basketball player. The basketball coach looked at me and said, you need to go out for wrestling, you're too small and too skinny. Why do I know that 50 years later? You know, I was the shrimp, I heard that.
You know, hey, here comes Ingram, if you turn sideways, you can't see him, right? And that's, there's shame. I remember as a senior in high school, big basketball game, the stands are filled and my dad's drunk and he's yelling things out and the police escort him out during the game. I was ashamed. What about you? What's been done to you that really produces a sense of, I wouldn't want to know, people to know about my family or what someone did or who I'm associated with. So we inherit shame, people do stuff to us that cause shame and we do stuff to ourselves. Our own actions bring shame, right? You do something you know is wrong. I mean, the big word is you sin, but it can be everything from you were the abuser to you lied or you cheated or it was years ago and 22 years ago and no one even knows there's, there's a divorce in your past and you've never told anyone or there's an abortion in your past. Or, you know, that small time when you were fired from a job and it was, you weren't fired because, you know, you had a lousy supervisor. You were fired because of what you did that was really wrong and you, when you tell that story, you just, you know, you just really make it far different than it was because you're ashamed. We all have shame.
And the thing is shame does really, really bad stuff. You're going to find that Jesus is going to restore Peter. He's forgiven.
He's had a one on one with Jesus. We learned from the other gospels, but he doesn't feel worthy. When you have shame it, you don't measure up.
Here are some of the words that are implanted in our soul. It's like I'm deficient. I'm flawed. I'm damaged. I'm unacceptable. I'm unlovable. I'm rejected. I'm dirty. I'm inferior.
I'm broken. I'm disgusting. And sometimes over the years you push that down and it creates things that you're now consciously not aware of. Three different ways we deal with shame. First, we hide. There's stuff that even as I'm talking, some stuff's coming back you'll think, I haven't thought about that in years. Teresa and I were talking yesterday and I was talking through the message and, you know, I've got a great wife so, so Chip, what are you ashamed of? And we had a very serious talk.
But we hide. The second way we deal with shame is we numb it. My dad numbed it. My dad was three and a half packs a day of cigarettes and almost a case of beer every day. And later on he would sleep all afternoon on the weekends. He was depressed. My dad killed thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people in Guam and Iwo Jima.
And he saw horrific things and he felt ashamed even though it was a just war and he only talked about it twice. And he just numbed it. Some people numb it with shopping. Some people numb it with, you know, different addictions. Some people just, you want to hide and the way you hide and numb it is you eat.
Others have explosive anger and that works too because when you're one of those people that's a powder keg, people don't get close and it's a way to hide. We numb it. We hide.
Some of us compensate for it. You know, I remember sitting my marine dad, hey Chip, what are you doing? I'm sitting down. You're not getting anything done sitting down. I got up. I've been getting up ever since. The fear that people would think I'm lazy. I mean that's how I became a workaholic. You think I'm skinny? You think I'm short?
I'll be a basketball player if it kills me. Some of the most driven CEOs and some of you are in places where you've been extraordinarily successful but it's still not enough because the issue isn't your work. The issue is there's this sense of you really don't measure up and we're trying to prove it. What's great is there's another word. It's called restoration and to restore means to bring back or to reinstate.
It's to return something or someone to a former condition or to a position or to a place. You can be forgiven and live with shame and have it mark your life and we're going to learn in this passage. I can't wait to share this as we close the series. We're going to learn how Jesus will teach us to put our shame behind us in order that we can be positioned and prepared to accomplish what he wants us to. To actually testify with our life and our words. You know what?
It's really hard to be bold with people if down deep you feel like if they ever really got to know me then they would reject me and reject what I say. Notice as you open the notes that we're restored in order to testify and the context is John chapter 21. Jesus has been resurrected. The text will tell us this is the third time officially he's appeared to his disciples. From all the other gospels we know it's about the seventh time he's appeared to someone. They were in Jerusalem and Jerusalem was dangerous so Jesus tells Peter and the disciples go to Galilee and I'm going to meet you there and so they go to Galilee and Galilee is home.
Galilee is where it's comfortable. Galilee is where a number of them were called into ministry and so it's a comfortable safe place and they were told to wait and Peter's not great at waiting which I can identify with and some of you can too and so he says to the guys I'm going fishing and he's obviously still a leader because six others say well I'll go with you and it's interesting that he's going back to doing remember he left his nets when Jesus called him before and Peter doesn't know I'm forgiven but I don't know if I'm in the game. I don't know my role. I don't know if I'm usable. I'm damaged goods.
Does that ring a bell? I'm damaged goods. I know God loves me or how about this one? I know God's forgiven me but I can't forgive my, finish the sentence, myself and when you, that's shame.
So God's opinion of you is not quite as high as your opinion of you. Do the math on that one and so here we are and Jesus is going to go through a process to restore him. Follow along as I read.
I want to make a couple major observations in the text. John 21. Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples by the Sea of Tiberius or the Sea of Galilee.
Same thing. It happened in this way. Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymus, Nathaniel of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, that's James and John and two other disciples were together. I'm going out to fish Simon Peter told them and they said we'll go with you. So they went out, got into the boat but all night they caught nothing.
Interesting failure. Early in the morning Jesus stood on the shore but the disciples did not realize it was him. He called out to them, friends or literally it's lads, my children, boys. Haven't you any fish?
No, they answered. He said throw your net on the right side of the boat and you'll find some. When they did they were unable to haul in the net because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter it's the Lord. As soon as Simon Peter heard this he said it's the Lord. He wrapped his outer garment around him and he had taken it off and he jumped into the water and the other disciples followed in the boat towing in the net full of fish for they were not far from shore, only about a hundred yards. When they landed they saw a fire, literally it's a charcoal fire with fish on it and some bread. Jesus said to them bring some of the fish you've just caught and Simon Peter climbed aboard, dragged the net ashore and it was full of 153 fish. This is a historical account. It's not a metaphor, it's not an allegory. This is an actual thing that happens and if you know any fisherman they know how many fish they catch. But even with so many the net was not torn and Jesus said to them come and eat breakfast. None of the disciples dared ask who is it for they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and he took some bread he gave it to them he did the same with the fish and this is now the third time he appeared to this official group of disciples since he was raised from the dead.
Well what's going on here? What we're going to see is he's going to reinstate Peter and I just have to believe there's part of Peter who we don't know exactly. Does he really need the money? Does he need the food? You kind of get the idea that he left the fishing business and feels like God could never use me anymore so he's gone back to what's comfortable. Does that sound kind of like what we do? Find a place where we feel like we're in control and we know what we're doing and then you know once he's had he's having an experience of failure and I can't help but believe that he also as they're pulling in that fish in the grace of God the first time he met Jesus remember Jesus was preaching and that thousands of people and said Peter could I use your boat and he says yes so he sits in the boat he gets out on the water because as you speak with water it was on a hillside it magnifies it so without a microphone and then he gets done with the message and Peter that day had finished fished all night and didn't catch anything and he said just go out a little ways and put your net down remember it was filled with fish two boats had to bring it in and Peter said depart from me Lord I'm a sinful man. Isn't it interesting that when when he's going to restore him he allows him to have the experience of failure and the experience of a miracle catch to kind of say you know something that's how I blessed you when you felt like you were so far away from me and now that shame I want you to know my attitude hasn't changed another thing I think that's instrumental here is that that little phrase a charcoal scientists tell us that our smell really triggers a memory it's one of our strongest senses do you remember the last time that the text tells us that he was around a charcoal fire warming his hands and there was a little servant girl next to him remember remember what that event was about oh you're one of his disciples aren't you blankety blank blank I don't even know him and so what you see is this this the setting of a scene and this is his kindness remember John chapter one Moses brought the law but Jesus will explain God he brings truth and grace grace 153 fish truth we're going to have a conversation about what happened around the last time you were around a fire like this so let's now look at the restoration process it begins in verse 15 when they finish eating Jesus said Simon Peter Peter Simon son of John do you truly love me more than these yes Lord he said you know that I love you and Jesus said feed my lambs Jesus said Simon son of John do you truly love me he answered yes Lord you know I love you Jesus take care of my sheep the third time he said him Simon son of John do you love me and Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time do you love me he said Lord you know all things you know that I love you Jesus said feed my sheep and then he makes this prophetic announcement I tell you the truth when you were younger you were dressed yourself you went where you wanted but when you are old you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go and Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God and then the total reinstatement occurs then he said to him follow me follow me I've commissioned you three times you think it's an accident he denies the Lord three times and now three times do you love me do you love me do you love me follow me the text goes on Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them and I love Peter like when his great wins are almost always followed by at least a little loss so the other disciples following him and this is the one that leaned back on Jesus breast and said who's going to betray you and when Peter saw him he said Lord you know what about him and Jesus answered if I want him to remain alive until I return what is that to you you must follow me because of this a rumor spread that somehow that John the apostle wouldn't die but he goes on to explain in the text that's not true and that's not the issue but I mean immediately he went to okay I want to know about his life not just mine and he's going wait a second this isn't about comparing yourself with other people this isn't about my agenda for them this moment is about you and it's about dealing with your shame now notice three questions three answers but there's a few things that the Holy Spirit has put in here that gives some insight in questions one and two he says do you love me agapao it means it's you remember the John 3 16 agape love the selfless unconditional that no matter what way that God loves us Jesus said do you love me the way God loves you and Peter responds I love you phileo in other words I love you with this fond friendship endearing I'm on your team but Peter's kind of been down the road of remember the last time they may all forsake you but not me and so now Jesus in front of the disciples whom he dissed earlier I mean these are the same guys that Jesus said you know I'm gonna go to the cross and Peter goes they these guys they might they might flake out but not me he was arrogant and then he betrayed him and so Jesus asked so really do you love me more than these other men and Peter's learned a lesson he's not he said I love you fond deep friendship affection so he repeats it do you love me agapao do you love me with an agape total commitment selfless love that would never cave in under any circumstances and Peter responds phileo I love you and each time that he gives him an assignment he's saying I have a job for you I have a job for you what's he saying is you qualify you're not disgusting you're not a loser I care about you I trust you and so finally Jesus shifts it and he changes the word phileo do you have a fond loving affection for me and Peter says he's hurt Lord you know what you know what he's really saying in this last one I thought I knew myself you know me better than I know me here's the deal Lord you know I love you but you know I love you with an imperfect love that's a fond loving affection that I'm gonna give my best to follow you and be as loyal as I can but sort of embedded in this is there may be a day and a time when I kind of mess up you know all things Lord as pastors we like to talk about the changes of the word and love right which I've just done there's another change that I think is almost as important the word no Peter's answer is you know I love you you know I love you you know all things the first two times it's a word in the Greek that you know the facts you know the truth you know the data you know the facts you know the truth you know the data the last time when he goes you know all things it's the change of a word for no in Greek that's you relationally know me from the inside out and what he's doing is restoring him and then he says here's the agenda follow me and part of his testimony is not that he ended up a great leader and a great preacher and blazed the trail among the Jews part of his testimony is that he was a restored person who really messed up I mean we think that sexual sins are bad yes financial sins are bad I don't think there's a sin that can ever be greater than to betray someone and that's what our leader did and he got restored and restated and then finally you have John at the very end here saying this is a disciple who notice our theme testifies to these things and wrote them down and we know his testimony is true and then he goes on to say and there were many other things I'm giving you just a little snapshot there were lots of other miracles and so I think the big question for us now is how does Jesus restore us that's the model this is the last gospel written shame's a big deal shame's a powerful deal how does God restore us from that thing that I ask you to honestly think about in your life it's going to be back with his application but just a quick reminder this message is from testify volume 4 of his series Jesus unfiltered in this series Chip takes an in-depth look at Jesus walking us through the Gospel of John his authorized biography if you will each of the Gospels has a specific purpose and in John we see his focus on proofs that Jesus is the Son of God closer to home how he wants to be your Lord and Savior starting right where you're at today you know the reality is listening more than once is the key to mastering the truths in these passages from John to help you do that the chip Ingram app and chips free message notes are a great way to dig in and let God's Word change you from the inside out Jesus unfiltered for more information and discounted resources give us a call at triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3 or visit us online at Living on the Edge org app listeners just tap special offers I'll be right back in just a minute to talk about today's teaching but as we study the Apostle John's teaching here through the gospel I can in the back of my mind hear some of you saying you know chip this all sounds really wonderful but you don't know me you don't know what I've done you don't know what I've been boy if you ever understood the terrible things in other words Jesus could never associate with someone like me he could never really love me never forgive me and I want you to know listen carefully that is a lie from the pit of hell the fact of the matter is is no one is beyond the reach of Jesus love but but if you believe that lie it'll keep you stuck if you believe that lie you'll never come to receive his grace or as a follower if you believe that lie you'll think you're a second-class citizen the rest of your life and never experience his joy and his power or be used by him here's what I want you to know the only way to break lies is with truth and so what we've developed is what we call truth cards let me give you an example for those who feel like you don't measure up you're unworthy the lie is this God could never accept me or use my life after all the terrible things I've done it says it right on the card and right below the card is a little stop sign stop and then you turn over the card and the card says Jesus wants to accept and use me he forgave a woman who had five husbands and was currently living with a man so he could communicate his love through her to a whole city actually that passage goes on to say he is seeking or pursuing those who would worship him in spirit and in truth if you want to be free of your past trying hard doesn't work the truth does let me encourage you get a copy of these truth cards we'll give you all the information in fact get two or three copies they're very inexpensive and go through it with some friends or family and here's what you experience you experience the truth and the truth will set you free well chips truth cards are discounted for a limited time when you go to Living on the Edge org there are high value set of 21 cards with a common lie or spiritual battle we all face and on the flip side there's a passage from the Gospel of John to help you begin to renew your mind with the truth let me encourage you to get a set for yourself and then maybe another one or two for people you know order your truth cards and get free shipping by calling triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3 or online at Living on the Edge org app listeners just tap special offers well now here's chip with his application as we wrap up today's program i want you to lean back i just want to say some things and i want i want you to receive them if you don't mind i want to be your pastor for the next minute or two we all have shame no one escapes it if we're honest with ourselves so you have issues i have issues but the thing about shame is we try to hide it i want you just to get it out there and realize there's some things in your past there's things how you see yourself that that are really shaped by shame peter would have never been used by god if he would not have dealt with his shame and that's what jesus was doing he'd already forgiven him but what he was doing is he was restoring him i know lots of christians that have been forgiven but they're not restored second if you're living under the cloud of shame today you make a decision i'm going to break free i'm going to begin the journey of believing about myself what god has already declared that's really what jesus was doing you know he he had a fire when he betrayed him he had a fire there when he got restored he denied him three times jesus restored him three times god wants to meet you and remind you of where you were and what you feel ashamed of in a way that says would you please believe that my work on the cross has taken care of the shame in your life third you can't do this by yourself yes you've got to identify it you got to confess the sin recognize where it came from and why but you need a close friend a pastor or a great counselor to say this is something that has been in my past and i want to break free and then you have to go into training this is a big issue but our one point today is you take a step you take a step to refuse to live in shame and get the help that you need and believe me there's freedom on the other side that you can't imagine well just before we close i want to remind you that tuesday is giving tuesday and this is an opportunity for you to show your support for your favorite ministries and non-profits so if Living on the Edge has impacted you would you remember us in your giving plans every dollar we receive on tuesday will be doubled which fuels our efforts to spread the gospel of jesus around the world if you'd like to be part of that mission let me encourage you to partner with us on giving tuesday and thank you in advance for your generosity well until next time for everyone here this is dave druy saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge
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